- 8 hours ago
Bob's Burgers - Season 16 Episode 13 -
Driving Miss Ragey
tele: https://t.me/TopFilmUSA1
#film#shows#usa#usashows#hot#filmhot
Driving Miss Ragey
tele: https://t.me/TopFilmUSA1
#film#shows#usa#usashows#hot#filmhot
Category
😹
FunTranscript
00:19You know, I bet if coffee came in different colors, more kids would drink it.
00:23That's why I drink rose.
00:25Oh, hey, Nash.
00:26Linda, Robert, children, Theodore.
00:28Not a way.
00:29Matt, light of my life.
00:31Come sit, tell us of the world.
00:32Yeah, grab a stool, fool.
00:34Sorry.
00:34I'd actually love to sit and chat while I eat one of your fine cheeseburgers.
00:37I have a little time to kill before I meet with my next client.
00:40Dad, you heard the lady.
00:42Go make the burger.
00:43Sorry about him, he's new.
00:45No, I'm not.
00:46I've been here a while.
00:47Are you driving anyone interesting in the limo today?
00:49Is it a girl who just found out she's a princess and now her world is going to turn upside
00:53down?
00:54Ooh.
00:54No, that's tomorrow.
00:56Today, I'm working with one of my common 60-second students.
00:58Yeah, what?
00:59Common 60-seconds.
01:01It's a business I started to help people with road rage, especially folks who need court-mandated rage restructuring.
01:06Wow.
01:07You teach people not to road rage?
01:09But without road rage, there would be no Mad Max Fury Road.
01:12You haven't seen that, though, right?
01:13Just the trailer and all the scenes that are in the trailer and the rest and the prequel.
01:17Why, have you?
01:18Yeah, they were really good.
01:19How'd you get into the road rage racket, Matt?
01:21Well, this may shock you, but I am a former road rager.
01:25Yep, I had a case of the double R's and bad.
01:28Oh!
01:28You see, when I first started driving a limo, I worked for a guy named Ronnie Glow.
01:33Glow on.
01:34This was at the height of the stretch limo biz.
01:37If you weren't riding around in a car that was at least 30 feet long, you were nothing to nobody.
01:42And Ronnie Glow was the biggest game in town.
01:45But working under him, it wasn't easy.
01:47He made us drive 70, 80 hours a week.
01:50And if you asked for any time off, he'd say, if you don't want to Glow, you gotta go.
01:55And then he'd make you repeat back, I want to Glow.
01:58Dad makes us say, if you don't want to Bob, get another job.
02:01I don't say that, but I should.
02:03I felt so much anger towards Ronnie Glow all the time.
02:06But I held it in until I drove home.
02:08And then, oh boy, I'd really let it out.
02:11Honking.
02:12Yelling.
02:13And worst of all, the throwing.
02:15Whatever food I had in my car.
02:17Hot dogs, taquitos, croissant, sandwiches.
02:20I kept it bottled up when I was in the limo with clients.
02:23But then one day, an incident occurred.
02:25Oh my god.
02:26Sorry, I just love hearing about incidents.
02:28It was the day before Easter, which turns out was the day of the Easter parade.
02:31I had a wedding party in the limo, and we were running just a smidge behind schedule.
02:35I pull up to an intersection, and this guy driving an Easter bunny float rolls through the stop sign,
02:40and I get stuck right behind him, and he's going so slow.
02:43And now I'm afraid I'm going to be late for this wedding.
02:46And there are three things you should know about me.
02:48I sunburn easy.
02:49I have a hell of a time getting out of a beanbag chair.
02:52And I am never late.
02:54The rage she took.
02:55And that's when I reached for my tomato basil soup.
02:59I had a big old 20-ounce Tupperware, and I launched it right at that poor bunny.
03:06Almost lost my limo license.
03:08That was rock bottom.
03:09I spent three months on a woodworking commune in Pennsylvania, just trying to clear my head,
03:13making rocking chairs and wooden knickknacks, whittling, releasing, healing.
03:19I'm sorry.
03:20I realize road raging is like trying to muscle your way through hardwood.
03:24You'll cut your finger, and you'll chip your blade.
03:26The trick, it turns out, is to go with the grain.
03:28You gotta muscle the wood when you turn the trick.
03:30Got it.
03:31Chin.
03:31So with that newfound wisdom, I swore I would do my best to help others.
03:35But also charge them, because I need money.
03:37Hey, that's why I charge people too.
03:39Money.
03:40Uh, so you help people get over road rage?
03:42That's interesting.
03:43Isn't that interesting, Linda?
03:45I guess.
03:46Yeah, I agree, Mom.
03:47That is interesting.
03:49Mm-hmm.
03:50What the hell is everyone looking at me for?
03:52Because you have road rage.
03:53I do not have road rage that much.
03:56Yeah.
03:57Only on roads, and in parking lots, and on the bumper cars.
04:00And when we listen to that song, Life is a Highway.
04:02Well, that song is stressful.
04:04But come on, people.
04:05I'm fine.
04:06Okay.
04:06I guess all of our eyes and ears are wrong.
04:09Look, I can only give help to those who are ready to receive it.
04:12If that's ever you, Linda, you know where to find me.
04:15Wait, Nat, I'm making you a burger, right?
04:18Oh, yeah.
04:18That just felt like a cool moment to go.
04:20It was.
04:21It was.
04:23Everyone hurry!
04:24I want my butt in the seat before the movie starts.
04:27Capisce?
04:27I peesh, but I can't find my glasses.
04:29It's so hard to find my glasses without my glasses.
04:32Oh, my God.
04:33Bob, you done pooping yet?
04:35No, I'm not happy about it either.
04:37I'm ready when you are.
04:38Jane, you need pants.
04:39Okay, boomer.
04:40Mother, I'm ready and probably your favorite.
04:43Whoa, what's this mattress doing out here?
04:45It's Jane's.
04:46You spilled melted butter all over it.
04:47I needed something to dip my bedtime artichokes in.
04:50So we're airing it out.
04:51Since it's here, I should probably write it down the stairs, right?
04:53No, no, we're leaving.
04:55Also, that's how someone breaks an arm.
04:57We're too poor for that.
04:57I changed into my bathing suit, so if the movie theater has a hot tub, I will be ready to
05:02roll.
05:02Great.
05:03Bob?
05:03Almost done.
05:05Sort of.
05:06Just find a stopping place, Dad.
05:08It doesn't have to be perfect.
05:12Whoa!
05:13Damn it!
05:14Stupid light!
05:15Linda, are you sure you don't want me to drive?
05:17No offense, Bob, but if you drive, we won't get there until it's over.
05:20You drive like a nerd.
05:24Why does no one know how to drive?
05:27Move it, Parker Slowsy!
05:28I don't think you're supposed to be over here.
05:30This lane's for parking.
05:31It's fine.
05:31It's fine.
05:32Look, the guy up ahead of us is doing it, too.
05:34We're going to make it, people.
05:39Oh, God.
05:40Uh, hi.
05:42Sorry, sorry.
05:44Is she flipping me off?
05:46Uh, yep.
05:46Sassy.
05:49Go for Kinkle.
05:50Dad, it's Linda.
05:52Linda, I know where you're calling.
05:53You do?
05:54Yep.
05:54How many bottles of my signature barbecue sauce should I put you down for?
05:58Oh, uh, no.
05:59I was calling about my road rage.
06:01Oh, well, I can help you with that, too.
06:03I do have a barbecue sauce road rage package I could also offer you.
06:07Just the road rage?
06:09Okay.
06:11Welcome to Common 60 Seconds, an anti-road rage program that will have you driving and smiling
06:16in only five 90-minute sessions.
06:19Now, I know that's a lot longer than 60 seconds, but let's be realistic.
06:22Right, right.
06:23What is road rage, and what are the risks?
06:26Well, there are physical effects in and upon the rager's body.
06:29High blood pressure, heart disease, digestive issues.
06:32I'm talking road rage diarrhea.
06:34Rageria.
06:34Oh.
06:35And, of course, death, which is also pretty bad.
06:38Another risk, going to jail.
06:40You ever have a birthday party in jail?
06:42It sucks.
06:43They sing you the happy birthday song, but they add the words in jail to the end of every
06:48line, like, happy birthday in jail.
06:51Oh, gosh.
06:52Yeah.
06:53Okay, what causes the rage in road rage?
06:56Let's pop open the proverbial hood and take a look inside.
06:59For me, it was a bad boss that took away my dignity with every single gosh-damned interaction.
07:05What causes your rage, Linda?
07:06Let's see.
07:08People that drive too slow.
07:09People that cut me off.
07:11People that drive with the dog on the lap, and the dog looks at me like he's better
07:14than me because he's in the driver's seat.
07:16Okay.
07:16PT cruises.
07:17Yes, but let's go deeper.
07:19Where is the anger coming from in your non-car life?
07:22Huh, I don't know.
07:23I mean, I love my family.
07:25I love the restaurant.
07:26I just got new socks.
07:28Things are good.
07:29Okay, well, how about this?
07:30Do you remember your first experience with road rage?
07:33Oh, uh, huh.
07:34I guess it was with my mom?
07:37Hmm, tell me more.
07:38Sometimes when she drove, she would yell all the time.
07:41She would yell all the time, now that I think about it.
07:43She yelled at a pigeon eating a hot dog bun once.
07:46He wasn't even driving.
07:47Hmm, interesting.
07:48Now we're getting somewhere.
07:49Great!
07:50Am I cured?
07:50No, Linda.
07:51No, you're not.
07:52Oh.
07:52Uh, but you are ready for burp.
07:55Burp?
07:55It's my method for overcoming road rage.
07:57B, breathe.
07:59Then another B, become the other driver.
08:02Try to step into their shoes.
08:04You, unplug.
08:06Unplug from your rage.
08:07Imagine yourself somewhere calm.
08:09For me, it's in the hammock with a little bit of whittling and just a ton of lizards.
08:13R, release.
08:15Release that rage.
08:16And then P, play.
08:18Ground yourself in the spirit of play.
08:20That could be anything.
08:21Singing a song, thinking of a joke.
08:22For me, I like to pretend my mouth is a trumpet and I'm doing a little jazz solo.
08:26Like this.
08:27Burp, burp, burp, burp, burp, burp.
08:29Wow.
08:30That's pretty.
08:31Okay, then.
08:32Let's hop in your car and turn the page on that rage, Linda B-word.
08:36So, Linda's at road rage school, huh?
08:37You know what keeps me from having road rage?
08:39I just picture all the other cars naked.
08:41You know?
08:41What do you mean naked?
08:43Like nude.
08:44Do I have to spell it out for you?
08:45Yeah, yes.
08:46Oh, my God.
08:47Just picture a car, then picture it naked.
08:50Car butts, car boobs, car wieners.
08:53Car wieners?
08:54Sorry, car penises.
08:56What was that sound?
08:57Sounded like it came from the apartment.
08:59Huh, the kids said they had homework they really wanted to finish, which, now that I think
09:02about it, should have been a huge red flag.
09:07Okay, will you watch the restaurant for a minute, Teddy?
09:10What if someone comes in?
09:11What do I say?
09:12Do I have to say burgers for sale?
09:14No, you don't.
09:15Something like that?
09:16Just, I'll be right back.
09:18Okay, if you love me, push me down the stairs.
09:23You can't yell at me if I'm sleeping.
09:25Ugh, Gene, kids, come on.
09:27Mom told you she didn't want you riding down the stairs on the mattress.
09:30Are you sure she didn't say I'd love it if you rode down the stairs on the mattress?
09:34I can hear her saying that.
09:36No, let's just stop before anybody gets hurt, more than I just got hurt.
09:40Dad, I feel like maybe you're not taking into account how much fun this is.
09:44Yeah, I finally get having stairs.
09:47Before, it just wasn't clicking for me.
09:48Okay, great.
09:49Well, it's time to go back to work.
09:51Dad, listen, just try it once, and if you don't love it, then we'll stop and come back to work.
09:56But we'll be good at work this time.
09:58Guys, I'm not sliding down the stairs on Gene's mat.
10:00Oh!
10:03Uh-oh.
10:04Again!
10:05Yay!
10:07Okay, Linda, I'm going to deliberately place you in one of the most maddening driving environments in the world.
10:12Oh, God, the airport?
10:14Yep, the belly of the beast.
10:16Hmm.
10:17Your directive is to get into the far right lane as soon as possible.
10:21Okay, well, I'm not actually flying anywhere, so I think I should be able to stay calm.
10:25And oh, my God, what is this guy doing?
10:27Use the steps, Linda.
10:28Burp.
10:29First step, breathe.
10:30Okay.
10:33Oh, look at this guy.
10:35Oh, sure, sure.
10:36Second B, become the other driver.
10:38Put yourself in their shoes.
10:40Maybe there's a reason they're kind of half in and half out of our lane like that.
10:43Because they're dumb?
10:44Well, what's the answer?
10:45You are them.
10:46I'm dumb.
10:47Okay, or maybe you're a little tired.
10:49Maybe you were up all night baking pastries for a bake sale to help end poverty.
10:53Aw.
10:54Son of a bitch!
10:55Okay.
10:55You, unplug.
10:57Where's your calm place?
10:58Um, the mall?
10:59Maybe calmer.
11:00The bathroom at the mall?
11:02It's nice.
11:02Well, I'll have to check that out.
11:03Let's go with that.
11:04Now, R, release the rage.
11:06There it goes.
11:07Bye-bye out the window.
11:08Picture it floating away.
11:10Oh, but don't close your eyes, Linda.
11:11Oh, right.
11:12Sorry.
11:12Come on!
11:13Someone let me in!
11:14Now go to pee.
11:15Play.
11:16Feel free to use the mouth trumpet if you want.
11:18Uh, oh, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
11:23That's more of a trombone.
11:24Have you never heard live music?
11:25You know what?
11:26If it works for you, that's what matters.
11:28Ah, honk me!
11:30Honk you!
11:33Sorry.
11:33That's okay.
11:34It's okay.
11:35It's all right.
11:35This is just day one of a five-day journey.
11:38I know you'll get better.
11:41Linda, please stop honking.
11:43Right, right, right.
12:02Well, I'm off to my last session with Naj.
12:05Wish me luck, I guess.
12:06Oh, do you think it's not working?
12:07Because you sound like you think it's not working.
12:09I mean, it's going great, except for how mad I still am at the cars all the time.
12:14It might be genetic.
12:15My mom was a honker, and now I'm a honker.
12:17She passed her honkers on to you.
12:19I mean, sounds to me like you need more sessions with Nat.
12:22Maybe lots more?
12:23Preferably after school, but before dinner.
12:25No reason.
12:26We don't do anything when you're gone.
12:27What?
12:28Nothing.
12:29Bob, why'd you say nothing?
12:30Because they did.
12:31I don't know.
12:32What do you mean?
12:33I don't...
12:33I didn't.
12:34I don't know what our kids are talking about.
12:36They're so weird, right?
12:38Anyway, bye.
12:39I mean, go get them, Lynn.
12:40You can do this, so you get out of here to do it.
12:44You know what?
12:45Maybe you're right.
12:46I can't stop raging.
12:47I can do anything, as long as I believe in myself.
12:51What the hell are you doing?
12:53Linda, please pull over.
12:55I'm sorry, Nat, but you saw that guy almost clip me.
12:57Mm-hmm.
12:58And then the guy on the bike?
12:59A bike is not a car, Nat.
13:01A bike is not a car.
13:02You are right about that, Linda.
13:03And that chicken truck?
13:05Since when does our town have chicken trucks?
13:07I swear those chickens were laughing at me.
13:09Linda, I've never had to say this to a client, but I don't think I can help you.
13:13No, Nat, no.
13:15I'm sorry, Linda.
13:16Now let's switch places, and I'll drive you safely home.
13:18And do my best to hide my disappointment.
13:22So disappointed.
13:23Whoa.
13:24Okay, that car just totally cut me off.
13:27I'm going to remain calm, and oh my Guadalajara.
13:30That's, that's Ronnie Glow.
13:32What the?
13:33Really?
13:34That's him, Linda.
13:35I'd know that car anywhere.
13:36He called it the Glowsmobile.
13:38Oh, it's okay.
13:39It's okay.
13:40Got to do the steps.
13:41Breathe.
13:44Become.
13:45Become Ronnie Glow.
13:46So I'm a terrible monster who should be destroyed.
13:48Uh, Nat?
13:50Tighten your seatbelt, Linda.
13:51It's about to glow down.
13:53I don't know how to tighten my seatbelt.
13:55Oh, God.
13:56Got you now, you tan little man.
13:58Nat, I thought you were Zen.
14:00I thought you conquered your age.
14:01It was always simmering just below the surface.
14:04Our rage is who we are.
14:05Right, but, uh...
14:07I'm coming for you, Ronnie.
14:08Like a Nat out of hell.
14:10Ah!
14:12What if, what if Ronnie Glow's been baking pastries for poverty?
14:16There is no poverty.
14:17I made that up.
14:18What?
14:18Got any food in here I can throw?
14:20Nat, eyes on the road.
14:21Oh, wow.
14:22There's lots of food back here.
14:24You really don't care about this car, huh?
14:25Uh...
14:26Half-eaten granola bar.
14:27Crunch on this, you bastard.
14:29Ah!
14:30Ah!
14:30What a rush!
14:31Oh, God.
14:32Apple corn.
14:33Someone in my family ate an apple?
14:34Woo!
14:35I'm glad I didn't cure you, Linda.
14:37I think you cured me.
14:39I'm back, baby.
14:40No, Nat, no!
14:41Yes, Linda, yes!
14:42Hold on tight.
14:43We're gonna Tokyo Drip!
14:47No kids again, huh?
14:49Yeah, they're up in the apartment.
14:50They, uh, love homework now.
14:52Huh?
14:52Yep, they're getting really smart.
14:55Bob's Burgers.
14:56Dad, you've gotta get up here.
14:57We're taking it to the next level.
14:58Hmm, what's the next level?
15:00Stop asking questions and move your ass!
15:02Oh, and you gotta come through the fire escape.
15:04Front door's not an option right now.
15:05Okay, I'm nervous, but I'm really excited.
15:07I'll be right there.
15:08Daddy, watch the restaurant.
15:09I'll be right back.
15:09Okay.
15:11You hear that?
15:12I'm in charge.
15:13He picked me, not you.
15:14I'm his best friend, but I don't think he was biased.
15:17I think he just picked me because I'm the right guy for the job, you know?
15:20And I've done it before.
15:21He asked me before, so...
15:22Okay, fine!
15:23You can be my assistant!
15:24Oh, my God.
15:26I told you, it's the next level.
15:28Drink it in, brah!
15:29You ready to fly like a cheetah on a mattress?
15:31Please don't call me brah.
15:33You got it, brah!
15:34Okay, wait, maybe I like it.
15:35But guys, this seems so, so dangerous.
15:37What's your point, brah?
15:38It feels, I'm going to say, wrong of me to support this as your parent.
15:42Oh.
15:43Oh.
15:43But what if we put another mattress against the door down there, and then I'm a great
15:47parent.
15:48Yes, Dad!
15:49And then let's all ride together for maximum velocity.
15:52There he is.
15:53And also, we got to clean all this up before your mom gets back.
15:55If we live, you've got yourself a deal, brah.
15:58Woo!
16:02Oh, God.
16:03Uh-oh.
16:04Bob?
16:05Bob?
16:05I got to go over there.
16:07You're in charge now.
16:08Watch the restaurant.
16:09If anyone comes in, you just say burgers for sale like we practiced.
16:12If you don't want to claw, you've got to go.
16:15If you don't want to claw, you've got to go.
16:16Okay, so the quiet seething and the muttering and the following is a little more scary than
16:21the yelling and the throwing was.
16:23What are we, uh, what are we going to do when you catch up to him?
16:26We'll see now, won't we?
16:28Whoa!
16:30He's heading for the ferry.
16:32Oh, well, I guess that's it then, because we're not getting on the ferry, right?
16:36Oh, we're getting on the ferry.
16:37Yes, we are.
16:38You're mine now, Ronnie.
16:40Oh, God.
16:41Oh, boy.
16:42Whoa!
16:43Nat!
16:43That is very close.
16:46Huh?
16:47You like that, Ronnie?
16:48You like that?
16:48Oh, my God.
16:49Nat, what are you doing?
16:50You're pushing his car.
16:51Nat, you're pushing his car.
16:53You've got to push him right over the edge.
16:54Yep, he's going inland.
16:56Ronnie Glow's about to become Billy Ocean.
17:02Oh, God, this isn't good.
17:04Nat, you've got to try your steps again.
17:07You've got to do your burps.
17:08Uh, breathe.
17:09No!
17:09Uh, become, uh...
17:11Uh-uh.
17:12Unplugged?
17:12Hell no.
17:13Uh, do your trumpet.
17:15Here, I'll start.
17:18No, Linda, no.
17:19I'm going to push Ronnie over the edge just like he did to me.
17:23Oh, no.
17:23You're going to kill the guy.
17:24We're killing the guy.
17:25It's me, Ronnie.
17:27Nat Kinkle.
17:28Nat, don't do it.
17:30Oh, I'm doing it.
17:30This is raw.
17:31This is real.
17:32It's in me, and it's in you, and it was in your mom.
17:36She was right all along about everything.
17:38May she rest in peace.
17:41She's not dead.
17:42And I definitely wouldn't say my mother's right about everything.
17:45She was just so angry in and out of the car, and I think that's because she was a very
17:50unhappy
17:50person, but maybe we shouldn't talk about this while you're pushing someone into the ocean.
17:55No, it's fine.
17:55I can multitask.
17:56Ugh, I'm barely listening to you.
17:59Ah!
18:00Nat, stop!
18:01Before, when you asked me what I was mad at, I guess I'm mad at my mom for being mad
18:06at
18:06her life, because that life had me in it, and I wanted that to be enough to make her
18:10not mad.
18:11But now that I know that, maybe I can start to let it go.
18:14And the next time I get mad, I can just picture my family happy in the backseat, and
18:18my mom bound and gagged in the trunk.
18:21Or maybe not bound and gagged, but definitely in the trunk.
18:23So, I'm gonna let you borrow that image for Runny Glow.
18:27Okay?
18:27We can let go.
18:29See?
18:29There it goes.
18:31Bye, Rach.
18:40Congratulations, Linda.
18:41You're cured.
18:42Huh?
18:43Well, not cured, but on the road to recovery.
18:45Wait, what's going on?
18:49That's not Runny Glow, Linda.
18:51That's my fellow limo driver, Kristoff.
18:53He owes me one.
18:54I saved his life in Vietnam.
18:56We were bungee jumping.
18:57It's a long story.
18:58What?
18:58This was all fake?
19:00Yeah.
19:00Yep, it was.
19:01It did work, though, didn't it?
19:02Well, what about the chain?
19:04We broke the ferry.
19:05I arranged that thanks to my other friend, Sandra.
19:07She's the ferry captain.
19:08I didn't save her life, but I did save her cat's life by feeding it while she was out
19:13of town.
19:13I can't believe you did all this.
19:15Well, you're the ragiest road rager I've ever worked with, Linda, but I never give
19:19up on a client, and so I had to get a little creative.
19:22Well, I can't wait to get home and tell Bob and the kids about this.
19:26Oh, I bet.
19:27We just got 45 more minutes on the ferry going this way, and then a 30-minute wait, and
19:31then 45 minutes back.
19:33Right, right.
19:33Uh, I better call Bob.
19:36Uh, how much longer is it going to take you to fix the door, Teddy?
19:39Linda will be back any minute.
19:40I don't know when I'll be done, Bob.
19:42I don't know.
19:42I don't know.
19:43Oh, wait, I'm done.
19:44Oh, God.
19:44They're back.
19:45Hide the tools.
19:46Hide the tools.
19:46What do I do?
19:48Where do I put them?
19:48Oh, I don't know.
19:49Ah!
19:50Ah!
19:52Hello, Robert.
19:53May I present your new wife?
19:55Send her back, Dad.
19:56Ask for a redhead.
19:57I got an A-plus in rage class.
19:59Oh, you got a C-minus.
20:01Well, I passed with flying colors.
20:02Squeak-bye.
20:03Squeak-bye.
20:04Still a possible hazard to herself and others.
20:06Yay, Mom.
20:07I feel like celebrating.
20:08Let's do something fun, but cheap.
20:10Any ideas for fun, cheap stuff?
20:12Play with Dad's boobs?
20:13Or should we tell her?
20:15Tell me what?
20:16I'm scared.
20:17I'm scared.
20:18I've got you, Linda.
20:19Send us!
20:20Ah!
20:20Oh, oh, oh!
20:22Oh, oh, oh.
20:33the
20:36the
20:40decent
20:41the
20:43snieszka
20:44the
20:44one
20:44time
20:52left
Comments