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  • 15 hours ago
Neighborhood Watch - Season 1 - Episode 02: Maximum Cringe Engsub
Transcript
00:03love you guys love you tiffany
00:15that was slippery
00:21hello you are currently being recorded your house
00:27is a camera at any given time tens of millions of homes are recording your every move
00:36help me
00:41hello hi am i in the wrong house i think so yes ma'am oh my god i'm so sorry
00:49and if you're watching at
00:50just the right moment
00:57you'll catch your neighbors when they thought no one was looking
01:05i didn't know what to do my body froze and you don't know what else to say
01:09come join
01:18the neighborhood watch you are currently being recorded
01:37this man's recording himself talking in his sleep
01:44really what adjust your neck or something
01:48you got a got a everything you need right here for me i do appreciate your concern though
01:56and if we can help in any way in the future please don't hesitate to reach out to us
02:24this delivery driver doesn't realize that a camera is about to capture a cringe-worthy
02:30the moment
02:30the moment
02:31the
02:33the
02:35the
02:35the
02:35the
02:35the
02:35the
03:01the
03:11the
03:12it your car is rolling away in ohio a nosy driver calls police with a strange story
03:35i was just driving down Lincoln Way and i was behind this car and they had like
03:41hair sticking out of the trunk and i don't know if it was like a possible person in their trunk
03:48so we
03:49arrive at the house and see the described vehicle sitting in the driveway and at that point that's
03:55when we went to the doorbell to make contact see if we could get any further information so i'm at
04:00home eating chicken strips minding my business when i opened the door it was two police officers
04:05now one police officer was fine as wine oh my gosh hello how are you good how are you oh
04:14jesus the
04:15craziest thing you're not gonna believe what happened so we got a call somebody's concerned
04:20what did i do it was kind of a awkward moment where i can't just come out and ask hey
04:25is there
04:25a body in your trunk i kind of have to break the ice
04:28are you like a hairstyle no i thought he liked my hairstyle because my hair was nice slayed and laid
04:34okay it was looking good but then i realized like why would he ask me that so there's like hair
04:41hanging out of your trunk oh my jesus someone's like oh that's my wig oh hold on i tried my
04:45wig
04:46hold on oh oh so after i got my hair done when i stuck at the stop signs even at
04:54the lights people
04:55was giving me dirty stairs well that's the reason why is because my wig was hanging out the trunk
05:03they probably think i got a dead body in my trunk they probably think i killed someone i'm not trying
05:07to go to jail we both shared a laugh together after everyone was laughing they said thank you
05:31and have a good day and next time you know maybe put your wig in the back seat well this
05:37craziness was happening my dad was watching this live on the ring camera and once the officers left
05:43he was laughing unstoppable so i decided to put it on facebook oh that's my wig oh hold on that's
05:50my wig
05:51so to this day i have not received another call quite like the one that i went on that day
05:57it's one
05:58that's going to stand out through the rest of my career that's for sure that's fine man the finest one
06:02man have i seen him around no i have not seen him around at all if y'all have tell
06:08him i said hi
06:11we are all set
06:18hey you are very welcome you have yourself an amazing rest of your day an excellent weekend okay
06:22thank you
06:44What the f*** is wrong with you?
06:50In Texas, a man is about to encounter something embarrassingly unexpected.
07:07A small creature has a big surprise in store for this man.
07:23God dammit!
07:25The f***!
07:30The f***!
07:46He has my nipples?
07:49Yeah.
07:52Ben has baby nipples.
07:54So Lily is about two years old.
07:57I was in the other room doing laundry.
07:59She was on the floor with my son, and she noticed his nipples.
08:02And she was like, oh, they're baby nipples.
08:04Like, they're tiny.
08:05No, you have big nipples.
08:07Oh, mommy has big nipples.
08:10She's going to be everything in public.
08:12She's going to be saying that in public.
08:15You understand that, right?
08:16She's a sponge.
08:18The second you say anything once, she's going to say it forever.
08:21She's a little parrot.
08:22So I have to watch myself and be like, oh, no.
08:25Like, if she repeats that, I'm in trouble.
08:28Lily, tell me something about mommy.
08:30Matt?
08:31I will divorce you.
08:33You have big nipples.
08:36You have big nipples.
08:38My heart dropped.
08:40I was like, this is what I'm trying to avoid.
08:42You have big nipples?
08:44You have big nipples?
08:46No.
08:47No.
08:49Mommy, you just have big nipples.
08:51In my head, I'm like, if I just look away and give like a short answer,
08:54that she'll just let it go.
08:56And that's not what happened.
08:58You have big nipples?
09:00No.
09:01No.
09:02You have baby nipples?
09:05You have baby nipples?
09:07No.
09:10Flash forward a few weeks later, and it's on social media.
09:14My sister ended up posting it.
09:19So we went to my work company outing, and one of my coworkers asked her,
09:25and she said it, and everyone started dying laughing.
09:28My face gets red, and I was like, let's change the subject.
09:31It took probably a month or so after all that went down for her to stop saying it in the
09:38household.
09:39But she was saying it a lot.
09:41You have big nipples?
09:47This backyard camera spots a man showing off his skills as a woodsman.
10:13This two-year-old thinks he sees something on his mother's face.
10:17You have a mustache!
10:19I don't have a mustache!
10:21You have a mustache!
10:23No, I don't!
10:24You have a mustache!
10:26No, Daddy has a mustache.
10:27I have a mustache!
10:29Stop it!
10:52You have a mustache!
11:08a father mortifies his daughter in front of her first date hey go take a picture of his license
11:15plate all right i talked to that okay oh my god in my head i said it is showtime
11:31you are currently being recorded
11:35a man sets himself up for humiliation by approaching wild turkeys with his camera
11:56get back
11:59get back
12:05get back
12:31get back
12:32get back
12:33get back
12:33get back
12:37in massachusetts a father is closely monitoring his doorbell camera grace is my daughter
12:44that's that's my little girl she says i'm going on a date this is actually her first date i want
12:49to
12:49meet him i want to see who he is who's taking out my little girl on the date but then
12:53i remembered we
12:54have the ring cam i just said wait until this ring cam goes off it's gonna be showtime
13:05hello hi how you doing i'm good who's this uh i'm jared hello jared this is pedro this is um
13:12gracious dad oh it's good to talk to you oh sorry i can't meet you in person because i'm at
13:19work
13:19so at least i'll let you see your face but you don't get to see mine
13:24all right all of us have the notification on our phone so so my guess is my daughter probably saw
13:30me
13:31talking to him
13:33hello hello my young daughter just hold on one minute
13:36oh my god where are you guys going
13:40uh i think we're gonna go to the roadhouse and then maybe a movie
13:44okay which movie are you guys gonna go see
13:45uh toy story
13:48toy story yeah okay he is lying to me i was like toy story tell that to somebody else
13:54all right so just make sure you treat directly because that's my first daughter
13:59you don't have to worry sir all right all right i i got a good picture of you
14:08nice to meet you
14:11hey go take a picture of his license plate
14:13let's go all right i talked to it i was telling my son to take a picture of his license
14:17plate
14:17and i thought i had it freaking muted and she heard the whole thing i'm like oh
14:23okay bye all right bye bye bye oh my god bye
14:28i was just being what i'm being a dad that's all so if people can say i'm overprotective
14:34and crazy and this and that it's okay you better open the door good job on opening the door her
14:41she texted me right away why would you do that i was mortified for my daughter all i could do
14:46was
14:46say pedro lugo please tell me you did not do this he was just looking at me that's exactly the
14:52look
14:52he gave me he's like he's like what i didn't do anything wrong when grace got home she was like
14:57oh
14:57my god this is so embarrassing but i still did not feel no empathy for jared whatsoever not one
15:02ounce one second nope jared and my daughter stayed for six months tragically i didn't scare him that
15:09much so i think i have to work on that part just a little bit more for they could stick
15:13around less
15:15oh my god
15:37this man is moving some things into his attic
16:03camera now recording
16:09this salesman is waiting for a moment when he thinks no one is watching
16:38and this home a woman is in a big hurry
16:41and this home a woman is in a big hurry
16:41oh my god
16:46oh my god
16:50oh my god
16:50oh my god
16:59oh my god
17:30Two friends arriving home both need the bathroom.
17:40No, I'm not joking.
17:42I've got Rachel, I've got to pee.
17:45I don't have any panties on.
17:47I don't have any panties on.
17:50Oh, holy mackerel.
17:54Rachel, I'm going to beat your ass.
17:56Rachel, I'm going to have to pee.
18:00I'm going to pee on the porch, Rachel.
18:06Rachel.
18:08Rachel.
18:09Oh my God.
18:11Oh .
18:11Rachel, go to the porch, Rachel.
18:14Oh my God.
18:15Rachel, open the door.
18:17How the heck are you going to help?
18:19I don't have any panties on.
18:22You are crazy.
18:23Oh my.
18:24Get out of that.
18:25You're going to get me a towel.
18:27I'm going to take these off.
18:27Go get me a towel.
18:28Oh my God.
18:30That is so gross.
18:32You are such a bitch.
18:33You are crazy.
18:34Cool.
18:47Hi.
18:50cool.
19:02That was a cool laugh.
19:44This accident-prone man has cut himself on a chainsaw.
19:48Hey, you got a Band-Aid?
20:01This woman has just stocked up on expensive wine.
20:05Oh, my God.
20:09Oh, my God.
20:11Oh, my God.
20:14Oh, my God.
20:17All right.
20:18All right.
20:19Be careful.
20:21I'm always careful.
20:33I know.
20:35Still ready.
20:40What happened?
20:43What happened?
20:45What happened?
20:46What happened?
20:48Oh, my God.
20:52What the f***?
20:53A woman arrives at a family Christmas party.
21:07This man has found the bug he plans to kill.
21:10Whoa.
21:23Oh, my God.
21:25Oh, my God.
21:27Oh, my God.
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