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  • 1 day ago

How much money is your dignity worth?

Sue greeted her neighbor at the door and was about to call over her husband for him. But the man stopped her. He said that he’d always had feelings for her and offered her two hundred dollars for a peck on the cheek. Sue found it cute. She took the cash and quickly smooched him. Then, the neighbor offered her eight hundred dollars for a proper kiss. Sue greedily looked at the money and accepted his deal again.

The man then pulled out two thousand dollars, handed it to her, and asked her to show him what she was “hiding” under her outfit.
Transcript
00:00Dougie!
00:01Hey!
00:01Hey!
00:03Uh, are you here for my husband?
00:06Yeah, wait.
00:08Listen, I'll give you $200.
00:14If you give me a kiss.
00:18What?
00:19Come on, neighbor.
00:20I've always liked you, and it's just a kiss on the cheek.
00:25A friendly one.
00:27And it's easy money.
00:35Satisfied?
00:36Yeah, I'll, um...
00:39I'll give you $800.
00:42If you give me a real one.
00:47You said just a friendly one?
00:50Yeah, $200 for a friendly one.
00:52$800 is more like an adult thing.
00:57And I'm paying apparently.
01:00Come on.
01:02Alright, just make it quick.
01:06That's enough.
01:07Now go!
01:08Wait, wait, wait, wait.
01:09I'll give you...
01:11I'll give you $2,000 more.
01:14Okay?
01:15$2,000.
01:17If you show me what's under the towel.
01:19Are you out of your mind?
01:20Just for five seconds, okay?
01:23$2,000 for five seconds is a good deal.
01:27Honey, everything alright out there?
01:29Yes, honey!
01:30That's my last offer and I'm gone.
01:33Two thousand.
01:34Five seconds.
01:38Hand over the money.
01:44Five, four, three, two, one.
01:49Well, was it worth it?
01:51Yes!
02:04Hey, who is that babe?
02:06Dougie, our neighbor.
02:08He's already gone.
02:09Hmm, Dougie?
02:10Hmm?
02:11Did he by any chance bring back $3,000 he borrowed from me?
02:17He said he'd pay me back today.
02:22Honey?
02:23Are you alright?
02:30Are you done chewing?
02:32Come on, chew up faster.
02:34What?
02:37Hey!
02:37There you are.
02:42Hey!
02:43Stop it!
02:45Stop it!
02:46Oh, come on.
02:48You really think you will fool me with this...
02:51loser?
02:52I don't...
02:53Sit down.
02:55He's way more attentive.
02:57No, you're serious.
02:58Sorry.
02:59Attentive.
03:02Attentive, you silly.
03:04Josh!
03:05Josh!
03:05Stop it!
03:06Josh!
03:07Stop it, please!
03:08Josh!
03:08Sir, is there a problem?
03:10No.
03:11No problem.
03:13Just small...
03:14misunderstanding.
03:16Yes, there is a problem.
03:17He's following me and my boyfriend and he won't leave us alone.
03:22Sir, I have to...
03:23No, no.
03:24I was just...
03:25Mistaken.
03:28Mistaken.
03:32Sorry.
03:44Is he watching?
03:46Yeah.
03:47Ah.
03:50Is that your ex?
03:52Yes.
03:53He hasn't figured it out yet.
03:57You're too good for him.
04:00Don't...
04:01Don't touch my hair, okay?
04:03Is he still watching?
04:09Yes.
04:12My name is Theo.
04:16Great.
04:18Oh, Theo.
04:19Honey.
04:20Hi.
04:21I didn't know anyone was joining us.
04:25Surprise, surprise, Mom.
04:27I want to tell you this for a while.
04:30This is my girlfriend.
04:34Oh.
04:35Christine, nice to meet you.
04:36What a beautiful name.
04:39So I won't disturb you then.
04:42Where are you going, ma'am?
04:44I have forgot I have the pie in my own.
04:48Pie?
04:49Wow.
04:49Maybe we should go with you then.
04:53To our place?
04:57Uh...
04:57Okay.
04:58Fine.
04:59But we need to buy any ingredients for the pie on our way home.
05:03Okay?
05:05Great.
05:07I have been waiting to introduce you to...
05:10Good.
05:11Let's go.
05:21So, for how long do you know each other?
05:27Uh...
05:28Uh...
05:28A month?
05:29One week.
05:33We've known each other for a month, but we have seen each other for a week.
05:47Theodore, I don't think that you need to be such unstoppable libertine.
05:51Yes, Theo.
05:52Hmm.
05:52Don't be.
06:10Uh...
06:10Mom, uh...
06:12Can you get some more coffee?
06:14Christine needs to stay awake.
06:16Sure.
06:17Yeah.
06:31I'm so sick of this maniac.
06:35What are you going to do?
06:37I don't know.
06:39He might hang around there for days.
06:42I know that.
06:47Why don't you stay with me here tonight, huh?
06:51Wait, stop.
06:52You do know that this thing...
06:53This is not serious, right?
06:55I have a really big bed in my room.
06:57No, stop.
06:58One more time.
06:59I'm not interested in you.
07:03I'm gay.
07:05I'm gay.
07:07Gay.
07:10Gay.
07:11I'm afraid to confess to my mom.
07:13She wouldn't understand.
07:15So...
07:15We can help each other.
07:18I've stayed the night.
07:20But maybe it would be just easier if you told her that.
07:25She has her own idea of what a man is.
07:28For me, you're very brave.
07:31Yeah.
07:32Talk about it.
07:33No, I'm serious.
07:34You stood up for me.
07:36And at the same time, you're very sensitive.
07:39Unlike this gorilla.
07:44Why did you leave him?
07:50Actually, he took me to a bar to watch football for my birthday.
07:57And then he said it was a gift.
08:00Are you kidding?
08:01And I showed up in stiletto heels and everything.
08:05And in the end, he knocked out the teeth of the bartenders because he was staring at me the whole
08:12evening.
08:14You smile when you talk about him.
08:17That's not true.
08:21Do you love him?
08:25Maybe.
08:29You know.
08:35I will talk to him.
08:36Wait.
08:37He'll kill you.
08:39I'm gonna try.
08:51Do you want some pie?
09:01Do you think you can just steal my girlfriend and then feed me?
09:04I'll explain everything.
09:07Okay.
09:09Try.
09:12I'm not her boyfriend.
09:14She wants you to pay more attention to her.
09:18Mm-hmm. As if I don't now.
09:21Man, taking a girl to a sport bar for her birthday party is not cutting it.
09:25All right.
09:27You're going down.
09:28Do you even know what she likes?
09:31Well, of course.
09:32But I don't like it.
09:35Man, love is about compromise.
09:38But how?
09:39Today is for football, but tomorrow is for the theater.
09:44Find some middle ground.
09:46And do you think it will work?
09:48Get in your account.
09:50Drive home and think about how you can surprise her.
09:54Okay.
09:56But if this doesn't work, I'm gonna dose you with gasoline and...
10:17I don't wanna share the same roof with you anymore.
10:20I didn't raise you like that, Theo.
10:24Wait, what?
10:26Get out!
10:28Mom!
10:29Theo.
10:31It looks like I...
10:32I told her that you're gay.
10:36You told her what?
10:40Tell me one more time why you did it.
10:46I thought it would be for the best.
10:49Damn it.
10:50I...
10:50I didn't realize she would react like that.
10:58I...
10:58feel uncomfortable.
11:04No.
11:06How could you?
11:07Without asking me?
11:16Good night, Theo.
11:20Next time, if you wanna help someone, ask.
11:26Just someone twice.
11:29Christine!
11:31Christine!
11:32Christine, please forgive me.
11:34I wanna be the man you need me to be.
11:38I love you more than words can say.
11:42Please don't take this love fade away.
11:46I wish I could go back in time
11:49and make things right with you, Christine.
11:56Shut up!
11:58You're horrible!
12:00Shut up!
12:01He's confessing his love!
12:04Josh!
12:04Josh, keep going!
12:06Do you like it, babe?
12:07Yes, it's great!
12:08I'm calling the police!
12:11You're all fool!
12:13Josh, come inside!
12:15I'm running, pumpkin!
12:22Do I have red eyes?
12:25She looks stunning.
12:34Babe.
12:36Can you forgive me?
12:40Not yet.
12:42But you're on the right track.
12:52What the hell is he doing here?
12:54Babe, we need to help Theo, okay?
13:12Oh!
13:14Help!
13:15Help!
13:17Good luck, Marshmallow.
13:20He's never coming back!
13:24Theo, honey!
13:26Are you okay?
13:27I'm fine, mom.
13:29Okay.
13:30What?
13:31Oh!
13:32Why didn't you tell me before?
13:35Why you were lying to me all this time?
13:37I was shocked.
13:40I was afraid.
13:42Of what?
13:45Aren't you...
13:46To the neighbors, we'll find out.
13:49Who cares?
13:52Tell me.
13:54Are you dating someone?
13:56Not yet, mom.
13:59Promise me that we'll have a pie together when he appears.
14:03Of course.
14:04Okay.
14:07I love you, mom.
14:08I love you too.
14:10I love you too.
14:12I love you too.
14:13I love you.
14:13Oh!
14:13Yes.
14:14It's sad...
14:15But...
14:15Tell me...
14:22Oh!
14:23Oh!
14:23What have you do?
14:24Well...
14:24Oh!
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