- 17 hours ago
Beyond the Gates - Season 1 - Episode 157: Thursday, October 23, 2025
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00:04I only have a few minutes. Bill's in the shower.
00:07Okay, so how did it go?
00:09Bill had his first dose last night with his evening tea.
00:13Okay, cuz, look, I know you're worried about his ex rearing her pretty little head,
00:17but we have to take this slow and smart.
00:19A little bit at a time so it seems nice and natural.
00:22Well, Danny removed her stiletto from the neck of our relationship for now,
00:27and Bill, you know, he realized the error of his ways and doubled down on us and our marriage.
00:34Well, I mean, he did cheat on her with you, so.
00:38I've been with him longer than any of my other husbands. I believe him.
00:43So does that change your math?
00:44No, I'm not letting up until I'm one rich widow who shares with her favorite cuz.
00:51I just need to lay my eyes on the policy.
00:54It'd be damn ironic if the papers weren't in order.
00:57It isn't anywhere in this house. It must be at the office.
01:00What's at the office?
01:02Bill!
01:04Baby!
01:05You look like a ghost. Are...
01:07Are you feeling okay?
01:11I need to talk to Shanice. Can you stand right here for a second?
01:14Just give me a wall to lean on. Do what you have to do.
01:17Okay.
01:21I need a favor.
01:23And what do I get?
01:24The satisfaction of helping someone.
01:27Scratch that. The satisfaction of helping a Dupree.
01:31This is next level.
01:32Oh. A Chelsea cat bag next level?
01:34I will name a bag after you next level.
01:37Oh. Deal.
01:40Yeah. Hello.
01:42But why didn't you say something sooner? He looks like he needs a doctor.
01:45In a private room. We need the best and we need loads of discretion.
01:48Let me get a look at him. Like, examine him?
01:51Where is the pain, Tomas?
01:52I think I pulled a muscle or something.
01:55In your lower back?
01:57A little lower than that.
01:58Just tell me where the pain is so I can get you to the right doctor.
02:01It's...
02:03It's...
02:04It's...
02:04His penis.
02:05I broke his penis.
02:06It's...
02:07It's...
02:22It's...
02:35I
02:39Look up! Selfie!
02:41I need it for my socials.
02:43And I need to figure out what college I'm going to
02:46so I can figure out the rest of my life.
02:48You don't need me to take a selfie.
02:50Hence, in the title, Selfie.
02:52I do if I don't want to look thirsty.
02:54But you are thirsty.
02:56You know, you could have taken that picture
02:57in the time you just spent being an A hat.
03:00Mm-hmm.
03:02In my day, we barely had homework.
03:04These are college brochures.
03:07I have no idea where I'm going.
03:09So many choices.
03:11It's impossible.
03:12Too many choices.
03:14That's wonderful.
03:16Your dads must be so proud.
03:19The brochures keep coming.
03:21This time next year, our son will be in college
03:24and Samantha the year after.
03:26It's a crazy, happy blur.
03:29Do you think we're ready for our nest to be empty?
03:33They'll always come home.
03:35And we'll always be in their business.
03:39It will be a big shift, though.
03:41Right now, my day doesn't begin or end
03:43until I hear their footsteps on those stairs.
03:46Terrell sounds like Bigfoot now.
03:48And seeing their faces over cereal every morning.
03:51We will have lots of alone time.
03:55Hmm.
03:55And no more worrying about the kids walking in
03:58when we have that alone time.
04:00We are alone right now.
04:03The kids are staying at school after the free period.
04:06And whatever should we do with the time?
04:16Somehow you're an even better kisser than when we first met.
04:19Maybe kissing just hits different after you say I do.
04:23And I didn't know renewing our vows would feel this...
04:27Profound?
04:29Yeah.
04:31And I feel it, too.
04:33And standing up in front of the kids and my mom and dad and saying those words
04:39just makes us feel stronger, deeper, and more real.
04:44It's too bad it didn't work out for your folks.
04:48Yeah.
04:49Seeing my mom run out after the ceremony just broke my heart.
04:55Have you been able to reach her yet?
04:57No.
04:58We've been playing phone tag.
05:00But I'll catch up with her between patients at the hospital.
05:03Okay.
05:05You should go.
05:07After another one of those kisses.
05:14It doesn't seem like you're leaving.
05:17Well, my brilliant husband did point out that we have to take advantage of an empty house.
05:23It's like a whole gauntlet.
05:25Taking tests, writing essays, touring campuses, then waiting months to hear back about acceptance.
05:31If they come back.
05:35Then my dads can be proud again.
05:39That's nonsense.
05:41They already are.
05:42When you get in, we are totally throwing a bed party for you.
05:46What is a bed party?
05:47Oh, it's just the coolest.
05:48Your family, they trick out your bedroom with college merch, balloons, and they go completely
05:53over the top once you get those acceptances.
05:56And then you sit in bed and you'll celebrate it like the prince that you are.
06:00This is why dad didn't tell you about the surprise wedding.
06:02I don't know much about colleges, but you must have the grades and the smarts.
06:09I recognize these fancy names.
06:11We'll see.
06:13You have the whole world of possibilities in front of you.
06:17You're going to do big, beautiful things.
06:22Thanks, June.
06:25This can't be happening.
06:27Who is she?
06:29That's Jessica.
06:30Tyrell's ex.
06:37Again, the medical terms, penile contusion.
06:40Ow.
06:40Please stop saying that.
06:42Are you sure you don't want to sit?
06:43No.
06:44I'm good with standing.
06:45I like standing.
06:46Okay.
06:46How's the pain on a scale from one to ten?
06:48This is way past ten.
06:49It's not on your scale.
06:51Okay.
06:51Just breathe.
06:52Focus on my voice.
06:53Can you do that?
06:54Okay.
06:54Was this a result of a traumatic event?
06:56Uh, you could say that.
06:59Uh, good trauma.
07:00Like, good trouble.
07:02You tell her.
07:04It's my fault.
07:05I just wanted to try some new positions and he had...
07:07Okay, you're getting to the TMI section of...
07:10So, just broad strokes.
07:12Let's just say injury from sexual activity.
07:16Now, Tomas, have you urinated since the incident?
07:19Last thing on my mind.
07:21It's a yes or no.
07:22No, we came straight here.
07:24Did the erection go away or did it last a while?
07:26It lasted a while.
07:27Oh, and I'm pretty sure it's gone away forever.
07:30Can we do this somewhere else?
07:32I have a room for you.
07:33Just follow me.
07:34Right over this way, handsome.
07:36Should I come with you?
07:38Uh, just to be safe, I think you should wait out here.
07:40Nurse, you go to ICU.
07:44I have to go, Caroline.
07:46Bill's Caroline?
07:47Yes.
07:48All right, bye.
07:50What did Caroline need?
07:51A case file.
07:53She thought maybe one of us had taken it home.
07:55Which file?
07:56Something old.
07:57She must be doing file cleanup, but it's not here.
08:00Caroline is usually a human apple tag when it comes to files.
08:05Maybe you look flushed.
08:07Maybe you should spend the day in bed, let me pamper you to be safe.
08:12Oh, wow.
08:13Bill, you feel hot.
08:15Well, I just got out of the shower, and I'm looking at you, so I'm all kinds of hot.
08:20You can't charm your way out of me taking care of you, so just sit down.
08:26Okay, rest your eyes and let me get you a cup of tea.
08:51Did that Jessica break your heart?
08:53It's not that serious.
08:55The look in those puppy dog eyes tell a different story.
08:59I'm going to go over there.
09:01June, no.
09:03To take her order.
09:05Don't say anything about me.
09:06I got this.
09:08I know how to be chill.
09:13Maybe we should just go.
09:15You're the one who messed up.
09:16Own it.
09:17And maybe she'll forgive, forget, and agree to hang out with you again.
09:20I wish, but I was the one that accused her of trolling me when she kissed me.
09:25And now she doesn't even see me when I walk in the hallways.
09:28I haven't been ghosted.
09:29It's like I'm the actual ghost.
09:31How do I recover from that?
09:34You were in your feelings about the whole trolling situation.
09:37Go tell her that it wasn't cool for you to suggest that she could be a part of all that
09:41drama.
09:42She can't melt unless you talk to her.
09:45Says the girl's trying to snag a guy with selfies.
09:47I'm putting myself out there.
09:49You're Heidi.
09:50You couldn't let yourself believe that she could actually like you.
09:53But she was into you for your chest-loving anime-watching and most likely Ivy League going self.
10:00Not the guy with the chest boxer shorts chip on the shoulder.
10:04Feelings like that, you know, they don't just go away because the guy gets selfie for a second.
10:07Maybe you should be filling out these apps for me.
10:11Terrell, I'm sorry.
10:13She wants a frustrating order?
10:14No, worse.
10:16She ordered a grilled cheese with tomato.
10:20And?
10:21The tomato ruins the integrity of the crust.
10:24Now what does that soggy mess say about her?
10:27You dodged a bullet.
10:29I can't be serious.
10:31Not even a little.
10:33But the fact that you care that much about her order says that you may still be up in your
10:37feelings, baby.
10:38Oh, you didn't tell her that?
10:40That's your job.
10:43Mm-hmm.
10:47That was...
10:48You really do know how to maximize every second of a long time.
10:52I really do have to go, though.
10:55I had some other things in mind.
10:57Good thing we have tonight and the rest of our lives for those things.
11:02What else do you have on tap for today?
11:05Um, I have some follow-ups.
11:08I have some stories I have to read down.
11:11Mm-hmm.
11:11And I'm going to look at our calendar to plan that honeymoon.
11:15Oh, can you put lunch with the Grants on the calendar?
11:18They want to make up for missing our vow renewal.
11:20So, a fancy lunch.
11:22Are we going to wear suits?
11:24Mm.
11:25Their text message just says,
11:27we want to celebrate the happy couple.
11:30Now, with the Grants, that could either mean an elegant lunch with a string quartet or a hot air balloon.
11:38You know what I like most about this non-specific invite?
11:41What?
11:42Happy couple.
11:45We are happy, aren't we?
11:47The happiest.
11:48Because we belong together.
11:51And we're stronger now.
11:53Not everybody can say that.
11:57This will cure whatever L's you.
12:01Mm.
12:01Well, you're my cure, baby.
12:03After I see the bottom of that cup.
12:06Or maybe I can just cup your...
12:09How long?
12:14Oh.
12:16Hey, Caroline.
12:17Did you find that file?
12:19What file?
12:20The file you were looking for...
12:22Uh, Caroline.
12:23Bill's a little under the weather.
12:25I'm trying to convince him to stay home.
12:27Then you're not going to like this.
12:29I wanted Bill to come in and cover the Aix deposition.
12:32Tomas' case?
12:33Tomas is in the hospital.
12:35Oh, dear.
12:36Oh, dear.
12:36Is it something serious?
12:38He says it's minor, but Bill's the only one up to speed on Aix, and I know what a big
12:42whale he is.
12:43Yeah, look.
12:43Caroline, I hear you.
12:44I'm on my way.
12:45Uh, I'd feel better if you stayed home.
12:48Well, I'd feel better if we don't lose that whale.
12:50Copy that.
12:51I'll stall him.
12:53Caroline said Tomas was in a minor accident, and he's in the hospital.
12:58Well, poor kid, but poor us if we don't do that Aix deposition today.
13:02Wait.
13:03I thought we agreed that you could use some time in bed.
13:06Yeah, babe, look.
13:06I'm fine, okay?
13:08I feel fine, and depositions never wait.
13:10When someone's ready to talk, you let them talk unless they clam up.
13:14You know what else you don't postpone?
13:16Your health.
13:17Look, I love that you're so worried about me, but I'd rather have your sticky fingers on my body and
13:22not my phone.
13:25I was just trying to clear the way for you to feel better.
13:29Are you mad?
13:31Of course not, but I have to get dressed, babe.
13:35Okay, well, I'll get your goat cut for your teeth.
13:38Yeah, there's no need.
13:39All right, you have it.
13:47Your sister's right.
13:48Grilled cheese was very courteous.
13:51Sweet, even.
13:52I messed up so bad.
13:54You don't even know.
13:56I don't need to know.
13:57You didn't mean to mess up, right?
14:00Right.
14:01Then where your heart was when you screwed up, it counts for something.
14:06Okay.
14:08I'm going in.
14:16Tyrell.
14:17Jessica.
14:19Is this a bad time?
14:20I'm just up to here conjugating French verbs.
14:23Exam tomorrow.
14:25I'll leave you to your exams.
14:26But I definitely needed a break.
14:29So I can join you?
14:31Bien sûr.
14:35That's all I know.
14:37Our dads took us to France once.
14:39Samantha and Pop were rock stars with the language.
14:43While Dad and I were too busy ordering mystery meats instead of steak.
14:47Bien sûr means of course.
14:49And steak means steak.
14:52That's it.
14:55I knew tomato grilled cheese wasn't going to let us down.
15:00Yeah, let's hope he was really down bad for her.
15:03I love the way the two of you root for each other.
15:06You're such a good sister.
15:09Well, he's a good brother.
15:10I'm so glad you and your dads found each other.
15:14They gave you what I couldn't.
15:16Security.
15:17Stability.
15:19That allows you kids to worry about the things kids should be worried about.
15:23College.
15:24Crushes.
15:25Boys.
15:26Girls.
15:27Life.
15:27June.
15:28You're here now.
15:30And I am totally secure with our fam.
15:33But I...
15:34I'm feeling a little wobbly today and I'm not even wearing heels.
15:39Because of the boy?
15:41I posted a selfie and I can see Nathan's totally online but he hasn't liked my post.
15:48Nobody has.
15:50Honey, that's all.
15:52That's not even a blip.
15:54Trust me, there are people dealing with worse.
15:56A lot worse.
16:00Hey.
16:00What are you doing here?
16:03Oh, I mean, I'm so glad to see you.
16:06I...
16:07I feel horrible for missing your vow renewal.
16:10No worries.
16:11I'm glad that you're taking some time to focus on your love life.
16:14I mean, with all our drama, mom and dad, me and Smitty.
16:19Sometimes you need to take care of yourself.
16:21You're here checking on mom too?
16:23I'm actually here taking care of something else.
16:27Kat, is there something going on with your health?
16:30No, not unless you can die from embarrassment.
16:35Tell me, whatever it is, I'm sure I'm guilty of worse.
16:39I doubt it.
16:42Have you ever broken Smitty's penis?
16:46Hold up.
16:47Run that back.
16:50How is my favorite editor-in-chief?
16:53No, I'm not glossing you.
16:55Yes, I do have a couple hot takes that I can expand into my next long-form piece.
17:01Well, unless you have anything juicier.
17:06I don't know if you have anything to do with your mother.
17:08Yeah, that is intriguing.
17:10Tell me more.
17:12Oh, you're here.
17:15Aix has had enough biscotti and coffee to last him till dinner.
17:18Okay.
17:19Well, what about our boy Tomas?
17:21Any word on what took him to the hospital?
17:23He sounded strained.
17:24All he cared about was not disappointing you.
17:27But since you haven't shown the same good sense Tomas had to go straight to the hospital,
17:31I'm more concerned about you.
17:33Look, Haley is just in wifey mode.
17:35Well, then I'm in work wifey mode.
17:37The last time you protested this much about your health, you had a stroke.
17:41Caroline, you don't have to worry about me haunting the halls of this place for a long time, okay?
17:46Good.
17:47Because, you know, I don't just care you're in this office.
17:51I care you're in the world.
17:52So, I'm with Haley on staying vigilant.
17:56Okay, noted.
17:57And appreciated.
17:58All right, I'm back at you.
17:59And, you know, ten years of you building this office and telling me about myself.
18:05What was I right about this time?
18:08Getting caught up in Danny's headwinds again.
18:11Yeah, but you set me back on course, as always.
18:14Right back home to Haley.
18:16You know, Danny is my past and Haley is my future.
18:18And I don't, you know, don't want to let anything get in the way of what we have.
18:21Not even my own damn ego or the threat of death itself.
18:26Bravo.
18:26Oh.
18:28You're happiest when you're clear-eyed about what you want.
18:32Oh, I meant to ask.
18:33Did you ever find that file you were looking for?
18:34Oh, that's all me.
18:36I'll sort it out with Caroline.
18:38Aix is ready and restless.
18:41Okay.
18:42I'll see you after.
18:47I'm sorry for getting our wires crossed.
18:50I told Bill I wanted an old file for reference and he heard you were looking for it.
18:55Oh, it happens.
18:56I can help you now.
18:57Which file?
18:58Use me while Bill's busy.
19:00That's just the thing.
19:01I think Bill could use you in as backup and I can walk around in here.
19:06Okay.
19:20Nosey biatch.
19:27What is it now?
19:29You sounded like maybe we had some trouble.
19:31I handled it.
19:32Now I'm going to handle my business.
19:34Okay.
19:35Did you find the policy?
19:37I'm about to look, okay?
19:38Stay tuned.
19:45Sometimes I forget that you're still getting acclimated.
19:48The job, us, it must be a lot.
19:52When you said that there were people with worse deals, were you talking about you?
19:58I've been better than I've been in a long time.
20:01I just meant that there are loads of people who haven't had a change in luck like me.
20:07And I sounded like a brat worried about likes.
20:11You being this carefree is all I've ever wanted for you.
20:17Now, explain to me why likes are important.
20:21Why care what people you've never met think of you?
20:24It's something about dopamine.
20:26It feels great when you get them and it's awful when you don't.
20:30And when the likes are from someone that you know and like,
20:34it's almost like confirmation that they might like you back.
20:39Mm-hmm.
20:40So this isn't about all the likes.
20:43It's about one like in particular.
20:46Yeah.
20:47Um.
20:49Can I take a look?
20:51Yeah.
20:55Let's see.
20:57Uh.
20:58Well, there's the problem.
20:59What?
21:00Ever since my re-entry, this is one of the many things I do not get.
21:05What?
21:07You and your brother are Dupree's.
21:11Your brother is applying to IVs.
21:13You're modeling the latest thing.
21:15Stop trying to be ordinary.
21:18Start showing it off.
21:20You sound like an expert.
21:22I've been reading magazines.
21:24My baby's in fashion.
21:25Okay, so how do I show off?
21:29So, models have like a portfolio, right?
21:34I don't see any glam shots here.
21:37I don't want to be too much.
21:39Why not?
21:39Your muchness is who you are.
21:42Why hide your shine?
21:45You think so?
21:46Even with everything with Chelsea?
21:50Well, I don't want to go against what your dad said.
21:53Oh, no, no.
21:54They didn't tell me to stop.
21:55Just to be aware.
21:58Okay, well, how about you only use pictures where you're fully clothed?
22:02And none of this come hither mess?
22:04Come hither?
22:05Now, listen to you.
22:08June.
22:11Now, let's see.
22:14Oh!
22:17Supermodel, work!
22:18Work!
22:19Okay, now you need to post these now.
22:22You think?
22:23I know.
22:25Okay.
22:26Go on, girl.
22:27Show them what you're working with.
22:31So, you know how seniors all about parties and senioritis?
22:35And it's too late for us to start having FOMO?
22:38Yeah.
22:38It's like my entire future depends on this French exam.
22:41Well, thanks for giving me a minute.
22:44I was kind of scared to come over because I thought I'd blown the right to be in your friend
22:50zone or any of the zone.
22:52And since then, it's kind of been the deep freeze.
22:56Well, you deserve that.
22:58But I wasn't even thinking about you.
23:01Ouch.
23:02No, I mean, like, I got over it.
23:05And I got busy.
23:06I mean, my parents are really writing me about my grades before the apps go out.
23:10Your friends sounded perfect to me.
23:13You don't speak French.
23:17So, so you really forgive me?
23:20Yeah.
23:21You were going through something major with your dads?
23:23What are they doing, by the way?
23:25That was a crisis ago.
23:27They're doing well now.
23:29Love for the win.
23:32Did I break Smitty's?
23:34Why would you ask me something like that?
23:36Good on you showing up for your sister.
23:39Kat, regarding the patient, the doc's examining the affected organ.
23:46Ooh, my sister is a little freak.
23:49Or would you prefer, meeks?
23:52You really made up for the lost time, sis?
23:54Please shut up.
23:56No one can know about this.
23:57Of course.
23:58My lips are sealed.
23:59I'm still having trouble with the logistics.
24:02Was this some kind of Fifty Shades stitch?
24:04Look, I am trying to figure out what I like and what I don't like.
24:09Ooh.
24:09I take things I didn't need to know about my sister's sex life for 200.
24:14I swear to God, this is not funny.
24:15Mm, I have to disagree.
24:18Let me guess.
24:19You decided to buy a new bonnet for the Kentucky Derby, and then, on the same day, decided
24:26to go for a triple crown.
24:28I'm sorry.
24:29Which one of us is the horse in this story?
24:32It doesn't matter.
24:33It's just important that you get back on the horse.
24:35That's enough compassion for the day.
24:37Thank you, big brother.
24:38Please stop talking.
24:39Anytime.
24:40And I won't accidentally bring this up at our wedding brunch with the Grands.
24:44You're the best.
24:45I really am.
24:47But you know I'm telling Smitty, right?
24:49That is a non-negotiable.
24:51Renewing our vows was a huge reset for us.
24:54And a secret this big?
24:56It wouldn't be right not to tell him.
24:58Where's Johnson dialed three or four?
25:03Where's that damn policy?
25:05God.
25:06Men like Bill don't love thinking about their mortality.
25:09Maybe check the safe.
25:13Or he kept it on his computer.
25:16Do you have his password?
25:18I am the password.
25:20I knew there was a reason I kept you around.
25:23Well, I'm family.
25:24I'm useful.
25:25I get you all the best identities and the most untraceable...
25:28There it is.
25:30Yes.
25:31Bill's on fire.
25:33I thought you might want some tea.
25:35Caroline, I found the file, but it's missing the phone number.
25:38I was going to ask you for it, but then I realized
25:40Bill keeps his contact list on his computer.
25:49Do you need me?
25:50Here's the hard copy, but now I just need the number.
25:54Oh, let me.
25:55His desktop's a bit of a maze.
25:56Whose contact do you need?
25:57I'm actually wrapping up a call right now.
26:00Oh.
26:01I didn't realize.
26:02Oh.
26:03I'll get out of here.
26:05Thanks for the tea.
26:12I'm telling you, that woman is really pushing her luck.
26:17We should head back to class.
26:19Thanks for not kicking me out of your space.
26:21Well, thank you for coming over and making it easy not to.
26:25Maybe the movies are right.
26:26We're supposed to experience the last...
26:28like the last Halloween dance next week.
26:31I hadn't really thought about it.
26:34Yeah, it's probably going to be super late.
26:36But I had an idea.
26:38I wanted to be Spider-Man.
26:41Miles Morales' version, of course.
26:43Is he the one that dates Zendaya?
26:45Not exactly.
26:47Miles is from another universe.
26:49Different Spider-Man.
26:50He didn't fit in at first.
26:52But he figured it out.
26:54Found his people.
26:55Found his power.
26:57I do know that meme.
26:59The one with all the different Spider-Men pointing at each other.
27:02That guy.
27:03Exactly.
27:04I was thinking...
27:06we could go together.
27:08You could be Gwen, Stacy.
27:11Is that his girlfriend?
27:12Depends on the universe.
27:18Jessica?
27:20Just trying to see if I could pull off a costume.
27:22You will.
27:23I know you can.
27:27Would you be my Gwen?
27:29No.
27:32At least I've tried.
27:33I'll be your MJ.
27:35Zendaya, right?
27:36Think of it as a crossover.
27:39I love a good crossover.
27:42And maybe we could talk costume plans lunch tomorrow?
27:46Deal.
27:47I also had another idea.
27:50If you're gay.
28:00How are the likes coming along?
28:0230 and climbing?
28:05Enjoy your dopamine.
28:08Yes.
28:09I am all over it.
28:11Okay.
28:12Thank you, Sen.
28:13All right.
28:17Are you back for round two?
28:20I'm actually back for my phone.
28:23Someone distracted me.
28:25Oh, yeah.
28:26Because that was all me.
28:28Oh, it was most definitely the two of us.
28:31How's Nicole?
28:33She was in with the patient.
28:34But Laura put me on the books for a later lunch.
28:37Did you recover enough to get any work done?
28:40Uh, it was just my editor that I was on with.
28:44Nothing that I can share yet, but there is something on the horizon that has my interests.
28:49That's great.
28:51I do have a story for you.
28:53You do?
28:54I ran into Kat at the hospital.
28:57Oh, was she looking for your mom too?
28:59No.
29:00There was an emergency.
29:02Pacing is not going to heal him.
29:08Neither is hovering or Googling.
29:10Nothing good can come of Googling this.
29:13Have you ever heard of an eggplant deformity?
29:16Phone down.
29:18How am I supposed to stay calm while I'm out here and he's in there with a broken emoji?
29:25The urologist won't take long and there's no reason to believe that Tomas won't make a full recovery.
29:30Okay, but have you ever seen an injury like Tomas's or caused one?
29:35Well, never put anybody in the ER and there isn't anything I haven't seen under these fluorescent lights.
29:40Well, have you ever seen a case like this?
29:43There are lots of creative Romeos and Juliets and the body's a lot more resilient than you think.
29:50But what if I've scarred him so bad he's going to need both of my parents, a plastic surgeon and
29:56a psychiatrist to heal from the trauma?
29:58Okay, look, this can go one of two ways.
30:01He's either proud that he went so hard or he lets it be a hit to his manhood.
30:05But I'm guessing that fine man's going with the first route.
30:08Plus, better to happen earlier than later.
30:12Is there ever a right time to break someone's penis?
30:15It was never too soon to know what you're working with, but he is going to need a time out
30:19for a while.
30:21Let him enjoy his ice pack.
30:32Are you okay?
30:34Doc says yes.
30:36All of you?
30:38All of me.
30:39So I didn't break you?
30:41You know what they say.
30:43You break it, you bought it.
30:44There's no return policy on me.
30:47I don't want to return you.
30:52This is all my fault.
30:54If I hadn't been so determined to write our bad date...
30:59Hey, I love your enthusiasm.
31:01And I love you.
31:03We both got a little carried away.
31:08It takes two to salsa.
31:09Oh, is that what you two were doing?
31:12I just wanted to give you these lists of instructions to avoid any more disruptions in service.
31:18As long as they don't explain using carrots or bananas like the doctor did, I'm not 12.
31:24We'll give you a lollipop on the way out.
31:26Just remember to keep doing the cold compresses to reduce the swelling, like Doc said.
31:30And remember, this will all be really funny one day, so remember to laugh.
31:33I would.
31:35It just hurts too much.
31:37And one more thing.
31:38No bedroom harmony for at least five to seven years.
31:42Five to seven years?
31:44Days.
31:46Kidding.
31:47Days.
31:47I meant five to seven days.
31:49Ouch.
31:50Poor guy.
31:52And wow, not so little Cat.
31:55I thought she was saving that for marriage.
31:56When Cat does something, she commits.
32:00Ugh, could you imagine?
32:02No, and I don't want to.
32:04I want to cut that out of the memory of my brain.
32:07And somewhere in the middle of that, I started talking about horses.
32:11It is so hard for me not to make a rodeo joke right now.
32:14Your restraint is noted, but you lose points for saying hard.
32:18Oh, yeah, fair enough.
32:24So, what time did you say that lunch was?
32:27Not until an hour or so.
32:29I'd hate to think that your little sister is having more fun than we do.
32:34We could be careful.
32:35We could wear pads and helmets.
32:39I'm sorry, but I have broken penises dancing in my head.
32:42Yeah, yeah, that's a problem.
32:44Um, but I could be gentle unless you don't want me to be.
32:56So, she actually agreed to go to the dance with me?
33:00Of course she did.
33:02That tomato foolishness aside, she has good taste.
33:05Oh, wait, so she's going to be playing Barbie to your kin?
33:08More like my MJ to my Miles Morales.
33:11Aren't they from two different universes?
33:14Well, I know things.
33:15But we're toying with another idea.
33:17Well, a couple's costume will definitely tell the haters that you're really together.
33:22Don't mind her, she's on dopamine.
33:26Dopamine?
33:26Jen suggested that I post my Chelsea cat pics, and it's getting a crazy amount of likes.
33:32How many?
33:34Oh, my God.
33:36Nathan likes every single picture.
33:39We're not giving up on Nathan?
33:41And he's not giving up on me.
33:43He's messaging me right now.
33:45What did he say?
33:46He wants to meet up tomorrow.
33:48Oh, my God.
33:50Now we both might have dates to the Halloween day.
33:54All right, come on.
33:55We have to go to class.
33:57Yeah, I laid my eyes on the policy.
34:00Little old me battered my lashes to the tune of 10 million.
34:03Know that wrinkle between your eyes, cuz.
34:06All right, what are you thinking?
34:06If there were a wrinkle-eyed Botoxic to oblivion.
34:11My work bestie's really ruining my vibe.
34:14Okay, what happened?
34:15She's been buzzing around like a little helper bee on warning.
34:19I'm gonna need Meg Markle's bee guy to come smoke this bitch out.
34:24Caroline interrupted Bill's special tea this morning.
34:27He didn't even drink a damn drop.
34:29You said he's off Danny.
34:31You can slow your roll a bit.
34:34Or we can speed it up.
34:38I gotta go.
34:39Haley.
34:40Talk to you later.
34:57How did the deposition go, killer?
35:00It's a slam dunk, baby.
35:02You know, it felt good working on the fly, you know, improvising.
35:06Of course it did.
35:07Yeah.
35:08Here.
35:11You know, babe, I was thinking about something a little stronger to celebrate.
35:14Maybe over a big lunch at the club.
35:18Babe, this is cold.
35:21Babe, you can have something stronger later.
35:24And something hot to chase it.
35:29Isn't that a promise?
35:30Mm-hmm.
35:31Now shut up and drink it.
35:34Mm-hmm.
35:35Mm-hmm.
35:36Mm-hmm.
35:41Mm-hmm.
35:48Mm-hmm.
35:50Mm-hmm.
35:52Mm-hmm.
35:53Mm-hmm.
35:54Mm-hmm.
35:57Mm-hmm.
35:58Mm-hmm.
35:59Mm-hmm.
36:00Mm-hmm.
36:01Mm-hmm.
36:02Mm-hmm.
36:03Mm-hmm.
36:04Mm-hmm.
36:04Mm-hmm.
36:05Mm-hmm.
36:05Mm-hmm.
36:05Mm-hmm.
36:06Mm-hmm.
36:07Mm-hmm.
36:07Mm-hmm.
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