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00:00The goddess of healing
00:03She is
00:04eccentric and elusive and no one has ever seen her before whoever finds the goddess healer will get the five
00:11million dollars
00:13Oh kind stranger, let me repay you by granting you a wish
00:17I wish for you to cure my brother's illness. Can you do that?
00:20My brother's a war hero who single-handedly saved his country from a terrorist attack
00:24If he's a hero to you, then that means he must be a good person. It's a deal
00:30I'll save Lysander Armstrong. How can this shit-stained hobo cure your brother?
00:35I mean you wouldn't be homeless if you were actually any good
00:38That's right the Queen Angel and I are already the top doctors in the world if we can't save him
00:45No one can don't don the mantle of doctor when you're only capable of harm now stop getting in my
00:51way
00:53Every second counts
00:58Healer goddess, hear my plea
01:02Please save my child
01:19Rod of a sepulius
01:48Praise she is the healer goddess
01:52No, please. Don't call me that. I'm just glad I could help.
02:01Here you go, miss.
02:06Why be weighed down by a throne when I can live amongst the common people and help those the most
02:10in need?
02:22You must be rushing off to go find your jewels, because only a sackless coward would hit a puppy and
02:28run.
02:31Aw, it's okay, little guy. I'll fix you right up.
02:41Right rewrites the wrong.
02:45We're doing it.
02:50See? Good as the day you can kick him out of your mother's womb.
02:56Come on, Cleo. Let's go.
03:13Please. My brother's been in a coma the last two years. We have no idea what the illness is.
03:19If anyone can help cure him, we will pay you handsomely.
03:22Be Lysander Armstrong. His military family basically owns the entire global stock market.
03:28He's so hot.
03:30Does he come with the money?
03:32Yes. He'll even marry you if you can cure him.
03:34Money, fame, power. It's all yours.
03:42Are we still moving forward, Miss Trixie?
03:44Yes. Give the presidential contract to Marissa. Oh, I have another call coming in.
03:52Grandma!
03:53I'm dying! Save me, Trixie!
03:56Grandma? Grandma.
03:59When are you getting married? I'm already a hundred years old.
04:03I'm going to keep you healthy forever, Grandma.
04:05Yeah. And Butch is still on deployment, so that's why I haven't been married yet.
04:12Oh, but why marry a vegetable when I can bang a younger stud like you?
04:18We're talking about my brother's life. I don't have time for jokes.
04:23No!
04:32Please go feed your dog, Miss. Don't let it starve like you.
04:35Oh, kind stranger. Let me repay you by granting you a wish.
04:39Grant me a wish? That you can barely feed yourself.
04:43The downfall of humanity. It all starts with the loss of faith.
04:47What? Oh, jeez. This is giving me a migraine.
04:51Are you telling me to pray to God because we've been doing that?
04:54I'm telling you to have some faith in me.
04:57Okay. Uh, I wish for you to cure my brother's illness.
05:02Can you do that?
05:03I can topple mountains and make a king out of a frog if I wanted to.
05:07Cleo, stay right here for a second.
05:10Don't go too far, Cleo.
05:14Hold still.
05:21What? My migraine's gone.
05:24Okay, then let's go.
05:25If you can cure my brother, he'll even marry you.
05:28Come on. Come on.
05:29Oh!
05:43How is he?
05:44What is the diagnosis?
05:45Remember, you will not marry him unless you cure him.
05:49I'm sorry. I don't know what this is.
05:51Aren't you the queen of medicine?
05:52You're supposed to be one of the best.
05:54Don't worry, General.
05:56I'm the angel herbalist, and I have mastered all healing methods of the East.
06:00I can detect what condition your son has with just one needle.
06:21I have no clue what this is.
06:25Oh, it looks like the angel herbalist doesn't live up to her name after all.
06:30That's why we saved the best for last.
06:33Me, the witch doctor.
06:35I'll save your son, Lysander.
06:47He's not budging.
06:48There's no movement.
06:49Truly, I have saved thousands of patients all over the world, but I don't know what this is.
06:56Lord, I've scoured the earth for the best doctors.
06:59They've tried all these methods, and they've all failed.
07:02If we can't save him, there's only one person who can.
07:08Who?
07:11The goddess of healing.
07:15Wait a second.
07:16You're not talking about the legendary goddess healing.
07:19That's correct.
07:20Her right rewrites the rond, and her left leaves the bereft.
07:25That's her motto.
07:26It's what makes her a sage amongst mortals.
07:29We are nothing compared to her.
07:31She is eccentric and elusive.
07:35No one has ever seen her before.
07:37If this legendary healer is the only one that can truly save my son,
07:41I don't care if I go bankrupt.
07:43I will find her.
07:45James, come put out a bounty to the entire world.
07:50Whoever finds the goddess healer will get the five million dollars.
07:54There's no need.
08:09I'll save your son.
08:12Who the hell is she?
08:13Dad, she says she can cure Lysander.
08:15She's going to save your brother?
08:17Don't be ridiculous.
08:18How can this shit-stained hobo cure your brother?
08:22Exactly.
08:23God, the unemployed are getting crazier and crazier.
08:26She's trying to scam her way into marrying the rich.
08:30Ew!
08:30She even brought a filthy dog with her.
08:33I bet it has fleas.
08:35That flea-infested, dirty thing is your companion.
08:39Don't try to steal Lysander Armstrong from us.
08:46Don't touch him.
08:49They say don't judge a book by its cover,
08:51but I can see from all your faces that you've failed.
08:54So step aside.
08:56I'll take it from here.
08:58Could you hold this?
08:59Oh, you're not going to touch my son.
09:02I'm the richest tycoon in this country and a former general.
09:07I know a gold-digging whore when I see one.
09:09I bet she's only here because giving blowjobs on the street corners wasn't paying enough cash.
09:15Who knows what an unskilled poor girl like her would do for some.
09:19A skinny-ass beggar trying to take advantage of Lysander Armstrong when he's unconscious?
09:26Ew!
09:27Disgusting.
09:27Go back to being a prostitute.
09:30Security!
09:31Get this STD-infested peasant out of here now.
09:34Let's go.
09:35If you throw me out, you're tossing away your son's last chance at life.
09:41Sir, we are at our wit's end trying to find a cure for Master Lysander and to no avail.
09:47Maybe we should give her a try?
09:49You can always deal with her later if she turns out to be a fraud.
09:53All right, I'll give you a shot.
09:55But I warn you, if you fail, I'll have your and your dog's head mounted on my wall.
10:01Is that any way to ask for help?
10:04You'd be blessed to have me.
10:07And I'm only here to repay your younger son's kindness.
10:09But since I'm not welcome here, I'll leave.
10:14Devon, come find me when you have a different wish.
10:17No, Miss Trixie.
10:19My brother is a hero to me.
10:21I can't lose him.
10:23Well, if he's a hero to you, then that means he must be a good person.
10:29My brother is a war hero who single-handedly saved this country from a terrorist attack.
10:33Also, he's great with puppies.
10:35He'd make a great husband.
10:38Who says I want to marry him?
10:40As if the number one hottest 30 under 30 would even dream of marrying a penniless bum like you.
10:47Only a lunatic would be crazy enough to marry her.
10:50I mean, look at her.
10:51Even if she cleaned herself up, you couldn't find an ounce of femininity on her.
10:56Only those cut from the lowest ranks were bigger over such trivial matters.
11:01Continue wasting your time.
11:02But I'm saving this patient.
11:14Oh, okay.
11:17What's happening?
11:19What are we doing?
11:30What the hell are you doing?
11:33I knew she was a perv.
11:35She's definitely trying to steal Lysander from us.
11:38Do you all not know that sweat can tell you everything that's medically wrong with a patient?
11:41Are you insane?
11:43Security, smash her face in for licking my son.
11:47He's born with congenital heart disease, has a peanut allergy, and the condition he has is called endogenic cryomorphy.
11:54Yeah, right.
11:55I mean, no way you got all that just from licking him.
11:58Oh, okay.
11:59I've studied every disease known to man, right?
12:01I even have the badge of universal medicine right here.
12:05And I've never heard of endo-cryo-what?
12:10What?
12:12This?
12:19Is worth nothing when I have the real thing right here.
12:23So you think that this crummy walking stick of yours is, what, the rod of a sepulius?
12:30Why don't you go back to the homeless asylum where you came from if you're going to be this delusional?
12:35I agree.
12:36I mean, even if she does solve this medical mystery, what is the point of doctors who have studied for
12:42years?
12:43We are all certified.
12:44But Lysander does have congenital heart disease.
12:48She's right about everything.
12:52Yeah, but if she just throws out a bunch of fake diagnoses, one of them is bound to be right.
12:57And again, there is no such thing as endo-cryo-what-what?
13:00Endogenic cryomorphy.
13:02Oh.
13:02And of course none of you have heard of it.
13:04Because I just discovered it.
13:07This condition only affects those with both CHD and a peanut allergy.
13:11The chances are a billion to one.
13:13A hundred times rarer than winning the lottery.
13:15But lucky for you all, you've hit the jackpot by finding me.
13:20What a bunch of baloney.
13:22I mean, you wouldn't be homeless if you were actually any good.
13:27Precisely.
13:27You are just a scamming prostitute.
13:30You don't compare to meet us who actually studied real medicine.
13:35I bet you were too poor to go to real medical school.
13:39Oh, so she went to the super circus instead.
13:42And now she's here putting on this clown show coming up with fake diseases, which mean nothing, if you can't
13:49wake him up.
13:50Is that supposed to be a challenge?
13:53Oh, yeah.
13:54If you three incompetent doormats want to show me up, I think you all should grow parts of your brain
14:00back.
14:01Which, by the way, that condition is called an encephaly.
14:05What is that supposed to mean?
14:06It means you're being schooled by me.
14:08And I'm about to walk all over your medical licensees.
14:12Then let's have a bet.
14:14If you can't heal him, we'll break your hands.
14:20And then you can't pretend to have healing hands anymore.
14:26These hands have saved more lives than all three of you combined.
14:30You're that desperate to get rid of your competition, huh?
14:34Miss Trixie, don't risk your hands for them.
14:37There's too many lives at stake.
14:41Don't worry.
14:42I got this.
14:45It's a deal.
14:47I'll save Lysander Armstrong.
14:49No one is dying on my watch.
14:57Lysander Armstrong has been in a vegetative state for two years.
15:04Are you stopping me because you're scared I'd actually succeed?
15:08Homeless or not, if you save my son, I'll give you everything.
15:20I'll even have Lysander, my heir, marry you.
15:23I'm not doing this for the money or for a wealthy husband.
15:26I just believe in helping good people and doing the right thing.
15:31Prepare a jacuzzi set at exactly 113 degrees Fahrenheit.
15:34Wait, wait, wait, wait.
15:35What for?
15:36Don't listen to her.
15:38She probably stinks so bad that she just wants a bath to wash the homeless stench off of her.
15:43Firstly, this is called greatness.
15:47Secondly, even if you drown yourself in plastic surgery, you couldn't get rid of your own ugly moral character.
15:54What?
15:55What?
15:55Did you just call me?
15:58There's a man's life at stake here, and you're standing in my way.
16:03Don't don the mantle of doctor when you're only capable of harm.
16:07Now stop getting in my way, or I promise you, you will be bubbling at the mouth very soon.
16:13Oh, yeah?
16:14Hey, you want to see real pain?
16:15Where's the dog?
16:16Well, put down the dog!
16:18With pleasure.
16:34Left leaves the wrong bereft.
16:41You don't deserve to call yourself a doctor.
16:46She's been poisoned!
16:48It was her!
16:50Do you see any poison on me?
16:52Medicine in the right hands can save lives, but in the wrong hands, it becomes nothing but poison.
16:58This bitch isn't good enough to take down the queen of medicine!
17:02Do you have one of your antidotes on you?
17:03Of course.
17:05I've saved entire civilizations with my antidotes.
17:08If I want to save someone, even the Grim Reaper can't stop me.
17:28Why is she spitting blood?
17:30This wasn't supposed to happen!
17:31I thought you said even the Grim Reaper can't get in your way.
17:34Angel herbalist.
17:36This is what I call malpractice.
17:40This isn't fatal.
17:41She'll live.
17:42But she deserves a little punishment.
17:44Well, where's the jacuzzi I asked for?
17:47Jacuzzi is ready?
17:48Right this way.
17:49Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
17:50What the hell is going on?
17:52You say you want your son to live on to give you tons of grandchildren, don't you?
17:56Then stop getting in my way.
17:58Every second counts.
18:01Let's go for our dip, shall we?
18:06General Armstrong, your family is the richest and most powerful in the nation.
18:11Are you really going to let this hobo slut touch your son?
18:15Hold on.
18:16You two are going in there alone?
18:19If you don't want these drooling vultures to see your son naked, then sure, invite everyone in.
18:25All right.
18:26But I warn you, no funny business.
19:03Let's go for it.
19:30You really shouldn't leave your precious son in there with that homeless conwoman, General Armstrong.
19:35Exactly.
19:36What if she gets pregnant by him?
19:38She could blackmail you for millions.
19:42That's what I would do if I was that poor.
19:44And then the Armstrong family will be the laughingstock of the nation.
19:48Held for ransom by a homeless woman.
19:51Dad, you can't seriously be listening to that.
19:54We have to have faith.
19:55Where did you actually find this little life?
19:59Uh, on the streets.
20:02Are you shitting me?
20:04You found this bum on the streets?
20:06Are you nuts?
20:07You don't know her?
20:08You don't know her background?
20:10She could be a psychotic murder.
20:11That is it, General.
20:12You have to go in and stop this now.
20:14You're right.
20:15That's it.
20:15I'm shutting down this clown show right now.
20:18James, let's go.
20:18Yes, sir.
20:22Oh, my God.
20:30I told you all to stay out.
20:37This is a critical moment for you.
20:39We can't be interrupted.
20:40Otherwise, we'd both die.
20:46I'm not going to let this homeless hoochie mama trap my son.
20:52I'm going to save him myself.
20:54No.
20:58You see that, General?
21:00This isn't just a gull-dicking con woman.
21:02This is witchcraft.
21:05I know what this is.
21:06This is the dark witch.
21:08I've heard of her.
21:10She uses her dark magic to steal the hearts of young, handsome men, and then she eats them alive.
21:15I'm going to kill that bitch before she takes my son.
21:19James, get the SWAT team.
21:21Yes, sir.
21:25You regain consciousness.
21:37Help me.
21:38I just want to...
21:43Something's wrong.
21:47You were drunk with an aphrodisiac.
21:50Lysander Armstrong and his fortune will soon be mine.
21:55That's one more thing I'm saving you from.
22:04Sir?
22:05The SWAT team is here.
22:07Captain Morales.
22:09My son is trapped behind there with a devious, man-eating witch.
22:15I need you to do whatever you can to tear down that door.
22:18Rest assured, General Armstrong.
22:20We'll break down that door and bury that bitch alive.
22:27Right.
22:29Rewrites the wrong.
22:33Human.
22:37Who the fuck are you?
22:39And why the hell are we naked?
22:42Good.
22:43You're awake.
22:44I'm saving you.
22:45Saving me?
22:46By bathing with me?
22:48Who are you?
22:49You're a fucking spy?
22:51Talk.
22:52I swear to God, I'll have you arrested for this.
22:56You're the one who's trying to kiss me in your stippor.
23:00I will never.
23:02Oh, really?
23:04Really?
23:16Look who's guilty now.
23:20Look, I don't know what the fuck this is, all right?
23:22But it is a biological fact.
23:24A man is attracted to a naked woman and her breasts.
23:30Science, okay?
23:30It just means that my body is physically...
23:35You're just acting with me with your friend.
23:38And I'm a professional.
23:40I hear Lysander's voice.
23:42Captain, do something now.
23:43Ready.
23:49We're almost there.
23:51Aim.
23:53Get him, boys.
23:55Get him.
23:57Fire!
24:00Fire!
24:15Fire!
24:16Those demon seals.
24:17How is this possible?
24:19It's not even a scratch.
24:21I told you this is dark magic.
24:23Of course, your earthly bullets won't do a thing.
24:26No.
24:26I believe Miss Trixie is a good person.
24:29She's not the dark witch.
24:31Young Master Armstrong, you are too easily fooled.
24:34This homeless psycho doesn't even have the skills to make a living.
24:38How is she going to save someone else's life?
24:40That's right.
24:41The Queen, Angel, and I are already the top female doctors in the world.
24:46If we can't save him, no one can.
24:48Except for the goddess healer.
24:50Think about it.
24:51We heard Lysander's voice.
24:53He's been in a coma for two years.
24:54Miss Trixie must have woken him up.
24:55You're right.
24:56This homeless girl is maybe the goddess.
25:02Maybe this homeless girl is really the goddess.
25:04No, no.
25:06Absolutely not.
25:07There is no way this hobo girl is better than us.
25:10But how could you know for sure?
25:12Right now, what we need to do is not interrupt Miss Trixie.
25:16You're wrong, sir.
25:17This homeless snake is using the forbidden techniques on Master Lysander.
25:21It's called borderline revival.
25:24She uses torturous pain to wake the patient.
25:27But only temporarily.
25:28It's a trick to pull the wool over your eyes and ears.
25:33That means my son is in tremendous pain.
25:36I'm going to ask you two to do whatever you can to kill that antler rod bearing witch.
25:42My son doesn't deserve this.
25:44He is dying right now naked in a jacuzzi with a smelly vagrant.
25:48Then it looks like it's up to me.
25:50The witch doctor.
25:52Only I know the right techniques to take her down.
25:56My son's life is in your hands.
25:59You heal him, I will give you whatever your heart desires.
26:03I don't know who you are, but there is no way I am letting you rip my golden bachelor away
26:09from me.
26:11This isn't the finishing touch.
26:14I must now give you the kiss of life.
26:17So we can both survive.
26:37It's poison gas.
26:39Poison gas will smoke them out and end her torture over Master Lysander.
26:44Poison gas?
26:45My son is in there.
26:47You're jeopardizing his life as well.
26:49No, don't worry, General.
26:51Gold diggers like her only care about themselves.
26:54Soon, she'll come out crying to Mommy.
26:57Then we can reverse the poison on your son.
26:59And then he can marry one of us.
27:02They really won't stop until they get both of us killed.
27:07I knew they promised you that I'd save you.
27:10It's now or never.
27:24What the hell are they doing in there?
27:26It's been over ten minutes.
27:27Wait a second.
27:29You don't think that they're...
27:31You!
27:32You suffocated my brother and Miss Trixie in there!
27:34Don't point your fingers at me!
27:36If your brother's dead, it's because of that homeless gold digger!
27:39Oh my god.
27:40Yeah!
27:41She's the one who sealed the door shut.
27:43I mean, she probably locked themselves in there on accident.
27:47Miss Trixie wouldn't have to do that if you weren't trying to sabotage her from saving my brother!
27:51This is taking way too long!
27:54Captain Morales, it's time to get out the big guns.
27:58These bazookas can flatten even a bomb shelter.
28:02Bazooka.
28:02She won't be able to hide even if she's the devil himself.
28:05Crap.
28:06Oh my god.
28:06Get back, son.
28:09Ready.
28:10Aim!
28:11Oh, shit!
28:16Quit your whining and stand down!
28:30The parasite's been extracted!
28:32Shoot her dead now!
28:33Do I need to fix your hearing too?
28:35I said stand down!
28:38Don't listen to her.
28:40She's a fraud.
28:41A termite to the field of medicine.
28:43I just saved this man that otherwise would have died in your care.
28:46If I'm a termite, then...
28:49You're worse than a disease-spreading tick.
28:51Wait a second.
28:52Are you saying you cured my son?
28:55He'll wake in just a moment.
28:56You can see for yourself.
28:58Well, now you're just asking to be exposed.
29:01That is it!
29:01No more stalling, General!
29:03If you won't punish her, I will.
29:09Don't hurt her.
29:15He's a killer!
29:21His pulse is regular.
29:23In fact, it's never been better.
29:28There's no sign of illness, infection, or disease.
29:39Miss Trixie did it, Dad.
29:41Lysander's warm again.
29:42He's not cold and pale like before.
29:44And his heart is strong.
29:46Come, come feel it.
29:49I saved my son.
29:51Next time, don't go seeking medical advice from those with ill will.
29:55Your son would have otherwise died by their greedy and unskilled hands.
29:59I've learned my lesson.
30:01I will not let these two nutjobs ever practice their voodoo voodoo magic again.
30:05Wait, wait, wait!
30:07No, no, there is only one person in the world who is more skilled in the field of medicine
30:12than the queen, angel, and I.
30:14It's the goddess healer.
30:21Could you really be the goddess of healing?
30:23But rumor has it that the goddess of healing is well over 100 years old, and you don't look
30:29a day after 20.
30:31It doesn't matter who I am.
30:33What matters is that the patient is healthy again.
30:36Devon, I've repaid your kindness by fulfilling your wish of saving your brother.
30:39Take care.
30:40No, wait!
30:42Miss Trixie, we still haven't fulfilled our promise to you yet.
30:44He's right.
30:46We are men of our words, and as I promised you, my heir, Lysander, would take you as
30:50a wife if you cured him, and you did just that.
30:53Of course, you're welcome to marry me instead.
30:57I really appreciate it, but I'm sorry.
31:01I...
31:02I'm already engaged.
31:06Already engaged?
31:07I am.
31:08I've been patiently awaiting his return from deployment for the last three years, and
31:13he's coming back today.
31:14But don't be disappointed.
31:16Really, I'm no one special.
31:18I just got lucky with your brother.
31:20Some guru taught me that spa water can cure all kinds of ailments.
31:24But you're still Lysander's savior.
31:25Please, let me give you what I promised.
31:28Take the gold.
31:29No, really.
31:31I don't need anything.
31:33I just believe in doing good in the world.
31:38Trixie, it's your fiancé.
31:41He's back, and he says he's breaking up with you.
31:46I must go.
31:53Hobo close.
31:54Halo glow.
31:56I bet the goddess healer is just like Miss Trixie.
31:59It was just dumb luck.
32:01She's even dumber for not accepting his marriage proposal.
32:04She could have been the richest woman in the world,
32:06marrying the hottest, most powerful bachelor around.
32:13I'm going to marry that homeless woman.
32:19Oh, my God.
32:20I mean, I don't know about that homeless bimbo,
32:23but this is godly.
32:26No, no, no, no, Lysander.
32:29Lysander's not much supposed to be mine.
32:32I'd so much rather share him with you
32:34than let that penniless, ugly bitch have him.
32:37You two nut jobs are a disgrace to your profession.
32:40Take these two weirdos out of here
32:42and revoke their licenses.
32:44Wait, no.
32:45We're not, we're I.
32:46No, she's just better than us.
32:49Oh, my God.
32:51Oh, my God.
32:52We were truly blessed to have Miss Trixie here, huh?
32:56She's no average Jane.
32:57No, she isn't.
32:58She said it was just dumb luck.
33:00But if she truly had these special skills,
33:03why did she wear that shit-stained dress
33:05and had an impeccable-looking doll?
33:06But think about the impenetrable walls.
33:08No normal person could have done that.
33:10Goddess or not,
33:12homeless or not, I don't care.
33:13I have never met a woman like that.
33:15I have to find her.
33:16I have to make her my life.
33:18She won my heart over, too.
33:19But if my bestest big bro wants her,
33:22I'll help you find her.
33:23All right, listen.
33:25I need help finding three wedding gifts.
33:32I'm dumping Trixie.
33:33So I want you, your granddaughters,
33:36filthy things out of my house now.
33:40Trixie paid for this house.
33:42She waited for you for three years.
33:45She was dumb enough to put my name on the lease.
33:47And I'm upgrading for a better girlfriend now.
33:49One with some serious fuck you money.
33:52So get lost.
33:54Who gave you permission to bark like a rabbit hyena in my house?
34:02Grandma.
34:04Beatrice, Trixie, Amore.
34:07I've been dying to throw this in your face.
34:09I'm dumping you for your best friend,
34:12Marissa.
34:13In fact, the wedding's tomorrow.
34:17So sign over the house now.
34:23You gave me this ring and asked me to wait.
34:26And I did.
34:28For three years while you were deployed.
34:31Yet you cheat on me with my best friend.
34:33And now you're trying to swindle my home?
34:36Do you have no shame?
34:38We were together for three years.
34:40And it was a complete waste of my life
34:42when I could have been with a loaded girl like Marissa.
34:50That's how much she would owe me
34:51if I was in the rent-to-boyfriend business.
34:55I see you're fulfilling your highest aspirations
34:57of being a low-grade male prostitute.
35:03Oh, yeah?
35:05Well, Marissa
35:07is so much better than you.
35:09She grew up even poorer
35:11than you.
35:12And now
35:13she's the CEO
35:14of an entire
35:15corporation.
35:19And you?
35:21You're still nothing.
35:23So you think she's an upgrade?
35:26Of course she's an upgrade.
35:28Look what she got me
35:29for my engagement.
35:31Oops.
35:33Yeah.
35:33That's maybe worth one millionth
35:36the presidential contract
35:37I gave her.
35:43You gave her the presidential contract?
35:45I certainly did.
35:46In fact,
35:48Marissa,
35:48you and your dimwit brother
35:50only have everything you have
35:53all thanks to me.
35:58Oh, I think she's losing it, bro.
36:00That breakup must have hit her hard.
36:03You two
36:04are the ungrateful,
36:06cheating scum here.
36:07My granddaughter
36:08supported you
36:10and your entire family
36:11for three years
36:12while you were gone.
36:13How dare you insult her?
36:16It's okay, Grandma.
36:18Let's not stoop to that level.
36:20Poor Edna.
36:21She still doesn't know
36:22what you're doing
36:23out there on the streets, huh?
36:24What is he talking about,
36:26your senior?
36:27Show her, Bob.
36:32This is how embarrassingly useless
36:35your granddaughter is.
36:36She didn't purchase
36:37this house on her own.
36:38She was begging
36:39on the street for money.
36:41I can't be caught
36:43with a piss-poor nobody
36:44like you.
36:44Even if you got no game,
36:46I got street cred
36:47I got out of keep.
36:48You dig?
36:49The word you're looking for
36:50is dignity.
36:52And you're one to speak,
36:53cheater.
36:56Is this true, Trixie?
37:00I've been broadening
37:01my horizons, Grandma.
37:03I want to see how regular,
37:04everyday people live
37:05so that I can help them.
37:08Of course,
37:09those without substance
37:10underneath would never
37:11understand that.
37:12What is that supposed to mean?
37:13It means
37:14the new girlfriend
37:15you think is an upgrade
37:17is actually a downgrade.
37:22Enough bullshitting already.
37:23Just sign the damn papers
37:24and we can each get on
37:25with our lives.
37:39At your wedding,
37:40I will.
37:41What?
37:42If you won't do good
37:43by me of breaking things off
37:45before two-timing me
37:46with my best friend,
37:48why should I do good
37:48by you?
37:49I'll give you my
37:50John Hancock
37:51at your wedding
37:52as a charity
37:54to you.
37:55Fucking bitch!
37:56You better keep your word.
37:58Oh, that's rich.
37:59After tomorrow,
38:01you will never feel
38:01so rich ever again.
38:02Do remember that.
38:10Trixie,
38:11Marissa's a millionaire now.
38:14They'll destroy you
38:15if you show
38:15even so much as a hair
38:17at their wedding.
38:18Grandma,
38:19I have to confess
38:20something to you.
38:21I've secretly amassed
38:23a fortune worth trillions.
38:25Trillions?
38:27That would make you
38:29the richest person
38:30on the planet.
38:32It's because of
38:32the healing hands
38:33I inherited
38:34from Asseplius,
38:35the god of healing.
38:37I've saved
38:38several world leaders
38:39with these hands.
38:40That's how I was able
38:41to give Marissa
38:42the presidential contract
38:43and become
38:44the goddess healer.
38:45It makes me angrier
38:47hearing her name
38:48knowing how she betrayed you.
38:50But please,
38:51Trixie dear,
38:52I know it was
38:53to broken your heart,
38:54but embellishing
38:56your worth
38:57and who you are,
38:58it will only delay
39:00the healing process.
39:01You don't have to believe
39:02me just yet.
39:04After we lost
39:04Mom and Dad
39:05because we didn't have
39:06the money
39:06for their medical bills,
39:08I vowed that I would
39:10do everything I can
39:11to serve those in need.
39:13That's why I'm taking
39:14everything back from Butch
39:15and I'm giving it
39:16back to Charity.
39:17You've always had
39:18an angel's heart.
39:19I'm certain you will
39:21meet someone
39:21who will treat you right,
39:23who actually deserves you.
39:25You will see tomorrow, Grandma.
39:28Oh, yeah.
39:34You said Trixie's
39:35crashing your wedding?
39:37She was bullying us
39:38too, Sasa.
39:39She's probably
39:40trying to extort you
39:41now that she knows
39:42you're rich as fuck.
39:44When nobody steps
39:45on Snake,
39:46Snake bites back hard.
39:48So let her come
39:49and embarrass herself.
39:50Yeah.
39:52You mean,
39:54we broadcast
39:55that video of you?
40:00her cavewoman
40:01stick,
40:01the 19th century tin can.
40:03She'll prop me up
40:04higher on my pedestal
40:05and the whole world
40:06sees her in her
40:06homeless mess
40:07against my
40:08presidential glow-up.
40:10Let's turn this party
40:11into her funeral.
40:19There he is.
40:21Welcome home, brother.
40:24Welcome home, General!
40:27Sir,
40:28the homeless woman
40:29who saved you,
40:29Miss Trixie,
40:30this is the file
40:31of her ex,
40:32Butch Tanner.
40:32He served with your
40:33regiment in the Marines.
40:34You mean the Butch Tanner
40:35that can barely carry supplies?
40:37Well, she's been providing
40:38for him
40:38and his entire family
40:39while he's been
40:40deployed overseas, sir.
40:41So she waited for him
40:42for years
40:43and then he betrayed her.
40:45Fucking coward.
40:45According to Intel,
40:46she's planning to bring it
40:47down on them
40:47at their wedding.
40:49Then we should join her.
40:50Men,
40:51I'm only alive today
40:52because of that
40:53virtuous woman
40:54and her incredible power
40:55that saved my life.
40:56So she needs our support.
40:58Will you join me
40:59in protecting her?
40:59Yes, sir!
41:00We will allow
41:01our lives to protect her,
41:02sir!
41:04Then let's roll.
41:19Welcome everyone
41:20to my wedding.
41:21Today is a very special day
41:23for me and Butch.
41:23Not only are we getting married,
41:25but in just one hour,
41:26my company will be receiving
41:27the presidential contract
41:28allowing my biomedical company
41:30to go public.
41:35Congratulations on the contract
41:37once again,
41:37Mrs.
41:38Wakeham.
41:39Still,
41:39Butch is taking my last name.
41:41Oh, and please
41:42don't be so uptight,
41:43Secretary Cho.
41:44You are the secretary
41:45of the entire
41:46U.S. Health Department,
41:47but this is a partay
41:48after all.
41:50I see some of the
41:51most important people
41:52in the nation
41:52have also arrived
41:53to celebrate you.
41:56The U.S. president
41:57will also be arriving soon
41:59to give you
42:00the contract herself.
42:02It's an honor.
42:03And that's why Sasa
42:04is the best wife
42:05a man could ever dream of.
42:08We will make sure
42:09the crowd
42:09is entertained tonight.
42:11We'll let the wedding begin.
42:14Not so fast.
42:16The party doesn't start
42:17until I say it does.
42:40You two really are
42:41a match made in hell.
42:43So I've come to save your guests
42:44from this oncoming train wreck.
42:46I don't recognize it
42:47from any of our elite circles.
42:49Who is she?
42:50Um, this is our
42:51entertainment for tonight, sir.
42:53Just watch.
42:57Trixie, what are you doing here?
42:58This isn't the homeless shelter.
42:59You lost.
43:00I bet she's here
43:01to bum a meal off us.
43:02You know,
43:03being this poor.
43:06Me, bum a meal.
43:08Have you forgotten
43:09that it was I
43:09who bankrolled you two
43:10for the last three years?
43:11And what evidence
43:12do you have of that?
43:14Look at me,
43:14then go look at yourself
43:15in the mirror.
43:16I'm a millionaire CEO.
43:18Even the first woman president
43:20will be here any second
43:21now to congratulate me.
43:23And you're nothing
43:23but a washed up sewer rat.
43:26Sasa,
43:26she's like,
43:27so obsessed.
43:30See, everyone?
43:32Butch already cut ties
43:33with his ex,
43:33but she's so shameless
43:35and desperate
43:36that she'd still show up
43:37to my wedding
43:38to suck up to me.
43:39This is what poor,
43:41sad girls do.
43:42They beg for scraps
43:44from us,
43:45the rich and glorious.
43:47Projecting much, Marissa?
43:48You might feel
43:49all high and mighty now,
43:50but don't bite the hand
43:51that feeds you.
43:53Especially when I'm the one
43:54who's giving you the contract.
43:55Oh, my God.
44:00You giving me the contract?
44:03You have no skills,
44:04no education,
44:05no connection,
44:06so how could you possibly
44:07have a pool
44:08to get the U.S. fucking president
44:11to give me
44:11a billion-dollar contract?
44:13We both share
44:14humble beginnings, Marissa,
44:16and I saw potential in you.
44:17Even trusted you
44:18as my best friend.
44:19But I recognize now
44:21that greed has poisoned you.
44:23Don't be all sore now
44:24just because I stole your man.
44:26This is what us rich girls
44:28do.
44:28They steal her
44:30from lame spinsters
44:31for fun.
44:32Damn right.
44:33You were
44:34too embarrassing
44:35for me.
44:36Sasa tramples you
44:37any day.
44:38I can say that now
44:39that I'm marrying the rich.
44:41Bravo.
44:42Self-admission
44:43of a gold digger.
44:44Quick,
44:44somebody put that
44:45on a memoir.
44:46Sasa,
44:46she's embarrassing me
44:47in front of everyone.
44:48You should make her stop.
44:49Don't listen to her,
44:50everyone.
44:50She's the gold-digging,
44:52blood-sucking leech.
44:53I don't even have to
44:54lift a finger
44:55and you're already
44:56embarrassing yourself
44:56in front of everyone
44:57for me,
44:58butch.
44:59You may look and sound
45:01like a man,
45:01but you're nothing
45:02but a pathetic coward.
45:04Okay,
45:04enough!
45:05You know what I always
45:06couldn't stand about you?
45:07Your moral posturing.
45:09But guess what?
45:11Morals are just lies
45:12to make you lame girls
45:13feel better about yourselves.
45:14That's why no man
45:15will choose you
45:16over Marissa Trixie.
45:18Because I've got
45:18the material goods
45:20and you're just
45:20all empty talk.
45:22I'm not here
45:22to request to be chosen
45:24because I'm the one
45:25who's doing the choosing.
45:28See this?
45:36Oh my God.
45:42Is that the billion-dollar
45:43contract or something?
45:46The one that's supposed
45:47to make us all rich as fuck?
45:49No, absolutely not.
45:50I don't believe it.
45:52You all sound so scared already.
45:54Don't worry.
45:55This isn't that contract.
45:57It's the lease to the modest home
45:59you try to swindle from me.
46:03See everyone?
46:04She's just trying to bluff us.
46:06But you don't even have
46:07the guts to go all the way.
46:08Look at her following orders.
46:09I asked her to sign over the lease
46:11and here she is.
46:12Like a good little
46:14peasant slave.
46:15That house is worth
46:16all her life savings.
46:21You want to, uh, I don't know,
46:23beg for a little treat
46:24while you're at it?
46:34You must understand me.
46:36I'm here to take back
46:37everything I've ever given you.
46:39I'm giving it to charity.
46:48Bro, she's gone cuckoo in the head.
46:50She thinks that just because
46:51she rented a pretty little dress
46:52she can pretend to be
46:53a deep pocket-investing baddie.
46:55You wish you had that kind of money
46:56to just toss away, Trixie.
46:58It's just a drop in the bucket for me.
47:00Uh, I know what this is.
47:02You've gone delusional
47:03and you think you're Cinderella
47:05so you can just show up
47:06to a fancy party
47:07and some Prince Charming
47:08will scoop you into money forever?
47:10Well, that's not happening.
47:12Security!
47:12Lock the doors.
47:13This woman doesn't leave
47:14until we're through with her.
47:19This is where your dreams
47:20will die, bitch.
47:24We found Miss Trixie Lysander.
47:26She's being cornered
47:27by her ex and his mistress
47:28at the Wickham wedding right now.
47:29Butch Tanner.
47:30Well, he's going to wish
47:31he died in battle
47:32after I'm done with him.
47:34Let's go.
47:38You think a few toy guns
47:39scare me, Marissa?
47:40I've saved plenty of people
47:42for much worse.
47:44Including your head of command,
47:45Butch.
47:47General Lysander Armstrong.
47:49You mean the legendary war hero?
47:51He's been in a coma for years
47:53after he saved the nation
47:54from a terrorist attack.
47:55You're an unskilled,
47:57unemployed,
47:58ugly leech.
47:59So how could you possibly
48:00have this magical ability
48:02to heal someone
48:03like General Lysander Armstrong?
48:05No one here is going to believe you.
48:06Have you really cured
48:07the incurable General?
48:09Then Sasa
48:09is the fucking
48:10Virgin Mary.
48:12And she's not.
48:13You're just asking
48:14to be humiliated, Trixie.
48:16Show them, Butch.
48:19Oh my God.
48:22See for yourselves, everyone.
48:25Trixie's just a
48:26freeloading beggar.
48:29She won't leave me
48:31and Marissa alone
48:31because we're rich as fuck now.
48:34I'm a major in the Marines.
48:36Sasa.
48:37She has
48:37a billion dollar
48:39biomedical contract
48:40with the military.
48:42Approved by the first
48:43female president
48:44of the United States
48:45herself, bitch.
48:46How despicable.
48:48She's just trying
48:49to leech off you
48:50like a parasitic gold digger.
48:52Get out of here.
48:52No one wants to marry you.
48:54No free meals
48:54for the poor.
48:56Do you see this,
48:57Trixie?
48:58This is high society.
49:00So you're either born
49:01on a silver spoon
49:02or you're as accomplished
49:03as me to be here.
49:04Maybe if you do
49:05some serious dick-sucking here,
49:08maybe someone will drop
49:09a couple bucks
49:10in your tin can.
49:13I already have everything
49:14one can dream of.
49:15But I valued our friendship,
49:17Marissa,
49:18which is why I came here
49:18to give you a second chance
49:20to see if you'd apologize
49:21and admit to your backstabbing.
49:23But no,
49:24you stooped so low,
49:26it disgusts me.
49:27Nothing is more disgusting
49:29than you standing
49:30on street corners
49:31like a bum.
49:32And who knows
49:33if you've already started
49:34offering sexual services.
49:37Well then,
49:39why don't you get
49:40on your knees for me,
49:41Trixie?
49:41My brother
49:42will never take you back.
49:44No man will marry
49:45an embarrassed man
49:46like you.
49:47But make me happy
49:48and I might consider
49:50making you my
49:51personal prostitute.
50:03How dare you
50:04hit my brother?
50:04I'm never letting
50:05you leave here alive.
50:07It's awesome.
50:08I need to do something.
50:09Don't worry, my dear.
50:11After I'm done
50:12with you, Trixie,
50:13not even the goddess
50:14of healing
50:14will be able to save you.
50:16Oh, is that so?
50:19Security!
50:22Get down on your knees
50:23and give Bob
50:24one hell of a blowjob
50:26in front of everybody here
50:27or I'll pop
50:28so many holes in you
50:29the men here
50:30won't know
50:30which one to fuck.
50:31I don't need to be
50:32the goddess of anything
50:33to punish you.
50:35Any of the powerful
50:35leaders I've saved
50:36before could crush you
50:38before you even
50:39touch me.
50:39Dream on!
50:41You wish
50:42General Lysander
50:43scooped you off
50:44your feet
50:44but you aren't
50:45good enough for me.
50:46You're definitely
50:46not good enough
50:47for him.
50:48Enough!
50:49You're souring
50:50my party
50:50so you either
50:51get the fuck out
50:53or I'm gonna
50:54shoot you.
50:55On the count of three!
50:56I think I quite
50:57like it here.
50:58Two!
51:09Mmm.
51:10This wine
51:12is so delicious.
51:13One!
51:14Shoot!
51:17Nobody
51:18is laying
51:18a hand
51:19on my future
51:20wife.
51:27It's...
51:27It's...
51:28It's...
51:37Who the hell
51:38is this?
51:42I'm sorry
51:43that I'm late.
51:43Did they hurt you?
51:45No.
51:46I'm fine.
51:47But, um,
51:48when did I become
51:49your future wife?
51:52You saved me,
51:54Trixie.
51:54Remember?
51:55I'm a man of my word.
51:57They're never gonna
51:57hurt you ever again.
51:59Really,
51:59it was nothing.
52:01I saved you
52:02because you're
52:02a good man.
52:03Not because I want
52:04you to owe me
52:05any favors.
52:11I see
52:12what this is.
52:13You're the one
52:13who cheated on me,
52:14Trixie.
52:15Look at you guys,
52:16a lovely dove.
52:17Don't try to pin
52:17this on her.
52:18She waited for you
52:19for three years.
52:20This is the kind
52:21of woman of virtue
52:21that a man
52:22would die for.
52:24Virtue?
52:26Don't make me laugh.
52:27She's probably out
52:28there giving blowjobs
52:29for cash.
52:30No man
52:31with a hundred
52:32foot pole
52:33would want to touch her.
52:34She should be happy
52:35Bob was willing
52:36to give her some.
52:41I see her
52:42in the Marines.
52:44I'm a major.
52:45You know,
52:46look, man,
52:47I know Trixie
52:48is like a,
52:49I don't know,
52:49a seven
52:50now that she's
52:51all cleaned up,
52:52but don't waste
52:52your manhood
52:53on a whiny,
52:54worthless woman
52:55like that.
53:01A real man
53:03never talks
53:04about a woman
53:04that way.
53:05You're a coward.
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