- 4 hours ago
Category
🎥
Short filmTranscript
00:00:15Excuse me, are you Alice Anderson, daughter of Jeannie Anderson?
00:00:20Yeah, I mean, yes, that's me.
00:00:23I'm actually supposed to be picking her up right now.
00:00:26It's kind of our thing, family tradition, you know.
00:00:28I pick her up when she travels, and she picks me up and...
00:00:32Is she in trouble?
00:00:33I'd say so.
00:00:34Did she fly with an illegal animal again?
00:00:36Nope.
00:00:36Did she threaten to start a dance party in the aisles of the plane if she got cut off?
00:00:40Because normally she is joking.
00:00:41No.
00:00:42Please tell me she didn't hook up with a pilot again.
00:00:44I can't, I can't have her banned from another airline.
00:00:49Follow me, please.
00:00:50What?
00:00:53Mom, are you okay?
00:00:54What happened?
00:00:56What happened is...
00:00:59I'm engaged!
00:01:01Oh my God.
00:01:03You guys really commit to a prank.
00:01:06Oh, honey, it's no prank.
00:01:09This is the real deal.
00:01:11Are you being serious right now?
00:01:13You were only gone for six days.
00:01:15She was only gone for six days.
00:01:17I know.
00:01:18But when you know, you know.
00:01:20You know.
00:01:21No!
00:01:22Mom.
00:01:22Honey, I can't wait for you to meet Wayne.
00:01:24He's actually flying in tomorrow.
00:01:28Oh, is alcohol even allowed in here?
00:01:30Oh, not at all.
00:01:32I confiscated it from a guy earlier this morning.
00:01:35You don't want to know where.
00:01:37To your mom!
00:01:38Yay!
00:01:39Cheers!
00:01:39Cheers!
00:01:54I just don't understand.
00:01:57You were in Sedona for less than a week, and now you're engaged to some random guy?
00:02:03Oh, Wayne isn't random.
00:02:05Okay.
00:02:07What's his last name?
00:02:09Um, Appleby?
00:02:11No.
00:02:12Appleton?
00:02:13Granny Smith.
00:02:14Mom!
00:02:15It's something to do with apples, but that's not important.
00:02:18I know the important things.
00:02:20He's kind and funny.
00:02:21He's a great cook.
00:02:23Do you know that you can make a lasagna from hot dogs and mustard?
00:02:27Gross.
00:02:28Mom, please listen to me.
00:02:31I'm worried about you.
00:02:32You've just fallen in love so many times, and it never...
00:02:35Oh, honey, this is different.
00:02:37Just keep an open mind.
00:02:39Wayne's going to be here tomorrow, and you're going to love him.
00:02:43Fuji!
00:02:44Wayne Fuji!
00:02:46I knew it had to do with apples.
00:02:47I was so close.
00:03:00Bagel bar!
00:03:01Oh.
00:03:01Alice, you're the best.
00:03:03Well, I have to make work a little fun for my team.
00:03:05Wayne, I got you gluten-free.
00:03:06Oh, you're so good to us.
00:03:07Thank you, HR Mommy.
00:03:08Please don't call me Mommy.
00:03:11We were bummed you couldn't make it to karaoke last night.
00:03:13Mm-hmm.
00:03:14I think I made Beyonce proud.
00:03:15Well, even though public singing is my number one stress dream, I was sad to miss it, but
00:03:19I had to pick my mom up at the airport, so...
00:03:21Oh, Jeannie's back from the retreat thingy.
00:03:23Was it good?
00:03:24Yeah, she got engaged to what I she met there, so that's fun.
00:03:27Anyway...
00:03:27Wait, wait.
00:03:28Jeannie got engaged?
00:03:29Yes, she did.
00:03:30But, point being, I need to tell you about our new PTO policy.
00:03:35Um...
00:03:36Moore?
00:03:36That's insane.
00:03:38Alice's mom is next level.
00:03:39Tell him about the time that your mom was a groupie for Nickelback and pulled you out of
00:03:42high school for a month to go on tour with them.
00:03:44Anyway...
00:03:45Let's get back to the engagement.
00:03:46Have you met this guy yet?
00:03:47No, he's flying in tonight, so I have to spend my lunch break looking him up online and maybe
00:03:52running a background check.
00:03:53Or, just a thought, maybe we could look him up right now.
00:03:58Okay, only if we counted his team building.
00:04:00Yes!
00:04:01Go team!
00:04:05It says his last job was renting fog machines to strip clubs.
00:04:10Huh.
00:04:11I wouldn't even think that was a gig, because the whole point would be to see the women,
00:04:14but what do I know?
00:04:15He can't be as bad as he looks online, right?
00:04:17He's wearing a t-shirt that says, I own two pythons, and one's in my pants.
00:04:22No, no, no.
00:04:24She is not marrying this man.
00:04:30So, I've been thinking...
00:04:32You want bangs?
00:04:33Honey, I'm sorry.
00:04:34I don't think you have the forehead for them.
00:04:36No.
00:04:37What?
00:04:38I've been thinking about you and Wayne.
00:04:41I wanted to talk to you before he got here.
00:04:45Mom, you know I love you, and I want you to be happy, but I'm worried you're moving a little
00:04:51fast here.
00:04:52That retreat was supposed to be about working through your grief, not boning some guy showing
00:04:59off his snake tattoos online.
00:05:01Did you look him up?
00:05:03With an open mind.
00:05:04But yes.
00:05:05Okay.
00:05:07First of all, he only has one snake tattoo, and it all connects on his cute little butt cheek.
00:05:14And second of all, I did work through my grief.
00:05:17I only cried over Queenie once, the whole trip.
00:05:21They served nuts on the plane.
00:05:23You know how she felt about squirrels.
00:05:26Well, hey, there's my woman.
00:05:28Oh, baby, baby, come over here.
00:05:34Alice.
00:05:34Alice, this is Wayne, my fiancée.
00:05:39Alice.
00:05:39Hi, yo.
00:05:40Hey.
00:05:40Hi.
00:05:41Now, listen.
00:05:42I know you're a grown woman, but I want to tell you something.
00:05:45I intend to be the world's best dad, and I want to get a mug to prove it.
00:05:50She's a cutie pie.
00:05:51You're a cutie pie.
00:05:53She's just so exciting for my two favorite people to meet.
00:05:57Yeah.
00:05:58Um, say, Wayne.
00:06:01Huh?
00:06:01Could you ask our waiter for some more, um, um, napkins?
00:06:07Napkins?
00:06:08Mm-hmm.
00:06:08Sure.
00:06:08Can do.
00:06:09Okay.
00:06:10Oh.
00:06:10Hold my bowie for me.
00:06:13Will you be any?
00:06:16That's sweet.
00:06:17That's sweet sugar.
00:06:23You cannot marry that guy.
00:06:27This is the start of an episode of Dateline.
00:06:29Oh, my God, it's heavy.
00:06:31No.
00:06:32You know, I was worried you would do this.
00:06:35Start judging him for his looks and his education and his hepatitis.
00:06:39His what?
00:06:40Mom, you are rushing into this.
00:06:43If you say so.
00:06:44You are not being rational.
00:06:46Love isn't rational.
00:06:48Oh, but I forgot.
00:06:48You don't believe in romance.
00:06:50Oh, I believe in romance.
00:06:51I just prefer to be in control of my life, not lost in some pheromone-induced mania.
00:06:57I am not like you.
00:06:58Oh, you're exactly like me.
00:07:01I raised two beautiful daughters.
00:07:04You and Queenie are exactly like me.
00:07:07Stop comparing me to your dog.
00:07:08It's a compliment.
00:07:09It's not.
00:07:10Hey, ladies.
00:07:13Now, I could not track down the waiter and get those napkins, but got something better.
00:07:18Boom.
00:07:20Use as much as you want.
00:07:21We can wipe our hands with it.
00:07:24And again, if you ever want me to set you up with someone, let me know.
00:07:28Oh, thank you, but no, thank you.
00:07:29I don't have time to date right now.
00:07:31Alice, come on.
00:07:32I mean, don't you want to meet a mega nerd like yourself, like your little freak flag fly?
00:07:35My freak flag is doing just fine in storage right now, thank you.
00:07:38Is it?
00:07:38I don't have time.
00:07:40I'm working overtime to try to get this director of human resources job.
00:07:43And now, I have to deal with my mother's train wreck of an engagement?
00:07:47No.
00:07:48Is he really as bad as we thought?
00:07:49He's worse.
00:07:50She's so blinded by love.
00:07:52She can't see the parade of red flags he's laid out for her.
00:07:55And when this relationship inevitably ends, like they always do in six to eight months,
00:07:59she will be devastated and hysterical.
00:08:01And who will have to pick up the pieces?
00:08:02Me.
00:08:03It never works.
00:08:04I mean, come on.
00:08:05She doesn't even know who my dad is.
00:08:07Are we really surprised?
00:08:26Oh, hi.
00:08:28I'm going to go on the lawn or going to winter formal.
00:08:31I hit one of my nose.
00:08:34Oh, well.
00:08:43Thank you for coming over.
00:08:46Oh, my God.
00:08:47Oh, I know.
00:08:50Doesn't Queenie look beautiful?
00:08:55She really does.
00:08:57I hired the same photographer who did your senior portrait.
00:09:02Nothing but the best for my two daughters.
00:09:05Mom, for the last time, your human daughter is not the same as a dog.
00:09:10I asked you here because I want you to know I heard your concerns.
00:09:15Really?
00:09:16Mm-hmm.
00:09:17Wayne and I agreed.
00:09:19Planning a wedding is just too much work.
00:09:21And weddings cost a fortune.
00:09:25That's true.
00:09:26That is so responsible.
00:09:29Yes, so we're going to Elope in Buffalo next Saturday.
00:09:33What?
00:09:33You want to get married next weekend?
00:09:35Mm-hmm.
00:09:37And?
00:09:40What?
00:09:43Alice, I have a very important question to ask you.
00:09:46Will you be my maid of honor?
00:09:50Oh, you're maid of honor.
00:09:53Oh, you're maid of honor.
00:09:55Mom, I'm so touched, obviously.
00:09:59And I really would like to say yes.
00:10:03Yes!
00:10:04Oh, I'm so glad we got that sorted because I have so much to do.
00:10:07I have to go shoe shopping.
00:10:08I have to go dress shopping.
00:10:11I have to pack up this entire house.
00:10:14Pack up the house?
00:10:15Didn't I tell you I'm selling the house?
00:10:17You're selling the house?
00:10:19Wayne says we need seed money for the new business.
00:10:21What business?
00:10:22Oh, that's still in beta.
00:10:24Hold on.
00:10:25You are saying that you want to sell our house, the site of all of our memories, to give cash
00:10:32to a guy you just met for a business that doesn't exist yet?
00:10:36No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
00:10:38I'm not going to give it to him.
00:10:41Then it would be taxed.
00:10:42Oh, my God.
00:10:43Now, we're going to wait until we're married and combine assets.
00:10:47It's the least I can do to support his dream because he's moving here for me.
00:10:51Look what the cat dragged in.
00:10:53Whoa!
00:10:54Me!
00:10:55You, baby.
00:10:56Thank you for your credit card.
00:10:57I betcha, honey.
00:10:57And I got something for you.
00:10:59No, no, no, no, no.
00:11:00I'm waiting.
00:11:01I'm going to work.
00:11:02Come on, baby.
00:11:03Let's dance.
00:11:04Let's dance.
00:11:05I'm going.
00:11:06Oh, baby, baby.
00:11:06Oh, bye, honey.
00:11:07Oh, baby, baby, baby, baby.
00:11:21Hey, hon.
00:11:22Hmm?
00:11:22So you sent a company-wide email with zero exclamation marks, and I'm wondering if you're okay.
00:11:27My mom wants to marry Python Pants next week.
00:11:30Next week?
00:11:31Next week.
00:11:32And I can't let it happen.
00:11:33Oh, he's really that bad.
00:11:34He's awful.
00:11:35He's making her sell her house to steal all her money to start some business.
00:11:40He's just, he's got his claws in her deep, you know?
00:11:43Ew.
00:11:45Damn.
00:11:46Red Flag City.
00:11:47Mm-hmm.
00:11:47But your mom is a grown-ass woman, and she'll just have to live with the decisions that she makes.
00:11:51My mom is mentally a teenager.
00:11:52She can't...
00:11:54You're right.
00:11:56Yeah.
00:11:56Why?
00:11:57Her decisions.
00:11:59I have to make her think it's her decision to call things off with him.
00:12:02Yeah.
00:12:03But what is my mom more than anything else?
00:12:06Horny.
00:12:08Fair.
00:12:09What else?
00:12:10Self-centered.
00:12:11Yes.
00:12:12She's been talking about her next chapter of life for years, so I just have to make her
00:12:16see all the paths she won't be able to take in her next chapter if she's with Wayne.
00:12:21Mm-hmm.
00:12:21Are you sure that this is the path that you want to take?
00:12:24Because you've been working so hard to get your promotion, and...
00:12:27If I could do this at literally any other time, I would.
00:12:29But if this man breaks her heart and steals her nest egg, I fear she will never recover,
00:12:32and I have to protect her.
00:12:33So that's what I'm gonna do.
00:12:40Hi.
00:12:41Hi.
00:12:42Hi.
00:12:42What are you doing here?
00:12:43I was just getting in the bath.
00:12:45Do you want to come in?
00:12:46No.
00:12:46I've had a bath today, thanks.
00:12:48I tried calling, but your voicemail's full.
00:12:51I have an idea.
00:12:52Maria, what if, instead of flying to Buffalo, we drive to Buffalo together?
00:12:59Like a road trip?
00:13:01A bachelorette road trip?
00:13:02Yeah.
00:13:03I'll plan all the stops.
00:13:04But, wait, but what about your job?
00:13:06You never take time off.
00:13:08I can bring my laptop and work on the road.
00:13:10I've already told Lainey to call me if there's anything I absolutely have to handle, because
00:13:15how often does my mom get married?
00:13:19Well, I'm pretty sure ceremonies in Belize don't count in the U.S.
00:13:23Okay.
00:13:24I'm gonna choose not to unpack that right now.
00:13:26I know Wayne might feel a little weird about being left in a new city all alone.
00:13:31Oh, no, no, no.
00:13:32He's so busy scouting locations for the new business.
00:13:35I love how independent he is.
00:13:37I'm just gonna tell him to meet us in Buffalo before the wedding, and it will be just us.
00:13:42Great.
00:13:43A mother-daughter bachelorette party road trip.
00:13:46Yes.
00:13:46We'll leave tomorrow?
00:13:47Yes.
00:13:48Oh, I'm so excited.
00:13:49I love you.
00:13:50I love you too, Mom.
00:13:52I just want you to be so, so happy.
00:13:55You know that, right?
00:13:56Gee, come back.
00:13:58Our bubble bath's almost done bubbling.
00:14:02I gotta go.
00:14:03I'm so happy.
00:14:04Love you.
00:14:05Okay, see you tomorrow.
00:14:12Here we go.
00:14:21Ta-da!
00:14:22I just got us a serious upgrade for next to nothing.
00:14:25You're welcome.
00:14:26But what about the trunk space?
00:14:27And what is next to nothing for a rental car cost?
00:14:30Don't worry about it.
00:14:31I'm selling my house.
00:14:32I'm about to be flush with cash.
00:14:35Great.
00:14:35Oh, wait, wait, wait.
00:14:36Be careful.
00:14:37Queenie's in there.
00:14:38You brought her remains?
00:14:40I would never travel without her.
00:14:42If you were dead, I'd bring you along too.
00:14:44Don't ever do that.
00:14:46You couldn't stop me.
00:14:47You'd be dead.
00:14:48Mom.
00:14:49We need a picture before we hit the road.
00:14:51Yeah.
00:14:52Okay.
00:14:53One, two, three.
00:14:57And off we go.
00:15:01Oh, Mom.
00:15:03Yeah.
00:15:03Do you have a hair tie?
00:15:04Oh.
00:15:05Hold on.
00:15:07Okay.
00:15:08Let me.
00:15:09Oh.
00:15:09Lookin' through the night.
00:15:12Hmm.
00:15:13Lookin' through the night.
00:15:14Ah.
00:15:15How's that?
00:15:16Great, actually.
00:15:18I feel lost at sea.
00:15:20Feather on a breeze.
00:15:24Oh, I love this song.
00:15:25Oh, wait.
00:15:28Oh, come on.
00:15:30Dance with me.
00:15:31Mom, I'm driving.
00:15:32Ten and two.
00:15:34Oh.
00:15:36Come on.
00:15:36Okay.
00:15:37Okay.
00:15:52Oh, I think it's all the fuck.
00:16:04Ew.
00:16:06This would not have happened if you hadn't insisted on getting a convertible.
00:16:11Oh, honey, it's just a few bugs.
00:16:13It's no big deal.
00:16:17No.
00:16:18What's wrong?
00:16:19I know him.
00:16:20That guy over there by the brown van.
00:16:24Ex-boyfriend?
00:16:25No.
00:16:25He's just an annoying kid I went to high school with.
00:16:28Wesley Darvin.
00:16:29Hmm.
00:16:31Hey, Wesley.
00:16:32Mom, no.
00:16:33Yoo-hoo.
00:16:34Stop.
00:16:34Uh, hi.
00:16:35Do I know you?
00:16:37I'm Alice Anderson's mom.
00:16:39She actually wanted to say hi to you.
00:16:41She's right over here.
00:16:43Alice?
00:16:46Oh, there she is.
00:16:47Alice Anderson?
00:16:49It's been a while.
00:16:51Hey.
00:16:52Hey.
00:16:52Hi.
00:16:54Oh, wow.
00:16:55She was just saying how cool she thought your band was.
00:16:58Oh.
00:16:59I don't ever accuse that thing of being cool.
00:17:02It's, uh, very retro.
00:17:05Yeah.
00:17:05Well, we bought it off the guy who painted it in 1972.
00:17:09Huh.
00:17:09Hi.
00:17:09Who's we?
00:17:10Girlfriend?
00:17:11No, no.
00:17:12My bandmate, Clive.
00:17:13Uh, I'm in a band.
00:17:14Oh.
00:17:15We're on tour.
00:17:16And Clive's just in there.
00:17:17Hmm.
00:17:18Clive?
00:17:21That's Clive.
00:17:22Yeah.
00:17:22Ooh.
00:17:23Hey.
00:17:24He's, uh...
00:17:25Huh?
00:17:26He's shy.
00:17:28So you two are friends, huh?
00:17:30No.
00:17:30Yeah.
00:17:30Not even a little bit.
00:17:31Come on.
00:17:32You hated me in high school.
00:17:33I didn't hate you.
00:17:34Huh?
00:17:35I hated the way you were constantly trying to one-up me.
00:17:38I don't think I ever tried to one-up you.
00:17:40I think I just one-upped you.
00:17:41And you still ended up valedictorian.
00:17:43You were very...
00:17:46Driven.
00:17:50Anyway, we should be going.
00:17:52Oh, no.
00:17:53We have a few more minutes.
00:17:54Keep catching up.
00:17:56I'm sorry.
00:17:57I knew I recognized you.
00:17:59Did you come to school on a horse one time?
00:18:01Alice's 16th birthday.
00:18:03She wanted a car.
00:18:04But I was dating a guy at the equestrian center, and I thought,
00:18:07it's a pretty cool ride, too.
00:18:10No-brainer.
00:18:10We talked about that for a solid year.
00:18:13Yeah, you guys didn't stop neighing at me in the hallways.
00:18:16I have no recollection of this.
00:18:17So where's your band playing next?
00:18:20We've got a gig in Rochester, so we thought, what the hell,
00:18:25let's pack up the van, hit the road, see where the wind takes us,
00:18:29and we'll play small gigs along the way.
00:18:32So you're going on a tour with only one booked gig?
00:18:36Yep.
00:18:37Wow.
00:18:38Not the overachiever I remember.
00:18:41Times change.
00:18:42Well, that's pretty weird, because we're on the way to Buffalo.
00:18:45So you two should exchange numbers.
00:18:47We don't have to.
00:18:47That's a great idea, actually.
00:18:49Here, my phone is dead, so...
00:18:51An actual old-fashioned pen?
00:18:54Wow.
00:18:55Still carry one of those, huh?
00:18:58Take that.
00:19:00Just text me, if only to get recommendations for awesome diners and pit stops along the way.
00:19:06Maybe we can grab a milkshake, and you and I can reminisce about the good old days of AP physics.
00:19:12Clive and I have done this route before, so...
00:19:14You hear that, honey?
00:19:15He's experienced.
00:19:17Okay.
00:19:18We're virgins.
00:19:19We're leaving.
00:19:21Wow.
00:19:22Let's go, Mom.
00:19:23Get in the car.
00:19:23Um, and, uh, nice, uh, panty pony.
00:19:28Very chic.
00:19:29Oh!
00:19:30He likes your panties.
00:19:33You have pantyhose in my hair?
00:19:35Mom!
00:19:40You have to go out with him.
00:19:42He's so cute.
00:19:44Me and Wesley Darvin?
00:19:46No way.
00:19:47Besides, he wasn't even asking me to hang out like that.
00:19:51Oh, I disagree.
00:19:54I like him.
00:19:55Yeah, you liking a guy is a red flag.
00:19:59You know, Mom, once you get married, you won't be able to just meet cute guys and flirt with them
00:20:06anymore.
00:20:08I'm getting married. I'm not turning into a nun.
00:20:12Plus, Wayne and I aren't the jealous types.
00:20:14Oh, really?
00:20:16Even though he used to work in strip clubs?
00:20:19You kind of left that part out when you said he used to be in sales.
00:20:23Oh, the past is the past.
00:20:26And I am not judgmental about Zach's work.
00:20:30Huh.
00:20:31Really, though, Mom, do you ever worry that...
00:20:34I'm not concerned a bit.
00:20:39Wayne and I have gotten through some very tough times.
00:20:42Because we communicate.
00:20:49Hey, Mom.
00:20:51Take this freeway.
00:20:54Are we going to Cheryl's?
00:20:56It wouldn't be your bachelorette party if we didn't go to see your oldest, bestest friend, right?
00:21:01Woo!
00:21:02Yeah!
00:21:03Yeah!
00:21:04Yeah!
00:21:17I knew Cheryl was successful, but not, like, giant mansion successful.
00:21:22What did she do again?
00:21:24Oh, she's the head of all product distribution of the Midwest.
00:21:28Wow.
00:21:29Mm-hmm.
00:21:30Oh, my God, Gigi.
00:21:32I'm so glad you're here.
00:21:33Oh, it's been way too long.
00:21:35I know.
00:21:37I mean, the last time I saw you, I mean, I think I still had my original eyelids.
00:21:42Now I blink like a 22-year-old.
00:21:44Oh.
00:21:45Alice, you're all grown up.
00:21:48Oh, my God.
00:21:49The last time I saw you, you were still in that awkward phase that girls have when they're 13.
00:21:54I was 17.
00:21:55The world needs late bloomers.
00:21:57Hmm?
00:21:58I mean, I cannot believe that you're getting hitched, Gigi.
00:22:02I know.
00:22:03I mean, oh, my God.
00:22:04Okay, the only reason to marry a man that fast, tight pants, from a fat wallet or a fat something
00:22:10else.
00:22:11Oh, honey, you have no idea.
00:22:13Okay, ladies.
00:22:15You too.
00:22:17You know, I just realized you're actually like alternate versions of each other.
00:22:23You met working together.
00:22:25You both built wonderful careers, bought your own homes.
00:22:30You've done a lot as independent ladies.
00:22:33Mom, maybe you should be going into business again with Cheryl, your oldest best friend who
00:22:39you know and trust.
00:22:41Hmm?
00:22:41I think our business days are over.
00:22:44Aw.
00:22:45Cher's like my big sister.
00:22:47Aw, you calling me old?
00:22:49Oh, and have your team of plastic surgeons come after me?
00:22:52Never.
00:22:53You know me do well.
00:22:54Okay.
00:22:55Ooh.
00:22:56Ladies, finish your champagne.
00:23:00I got a little surprise.
00:23:05What?
00:23:05What is that?
00:23:07What is going on?
00:23:08What?
00:23:08I'm like your fairy god.
00:23:11What is this?
00:23:12Okay, don't look at any of the price tags, because I already bought them all.
00:23:17Cher, this is too much.
00:23:19Ow, fish, plush.
00:23:21I mean, you said you haven't bought a wedding dress yet, and you know I wanted to assist.
00:23:24And, you know, help Alice.
00:23:25Poor Alice over there.
00:23:26Find some clothes that aren't so drab.
00:23:29Drab?
00:23:29You look like an HR lady.
00:23:31But I am an HR lady.
00:23:34Okay.
00:23:36Where do we start?
00:23:37Ooh.
00:23:37Ooh.
00:23:41That's so weird.
00:23:44On dans, c'est la nuit.
00:23:47On dans, c'est terrible.
00:23:51Ce soir, c'est la vie.
00:23:55Man starts singing.
00:24:14Sorry if I'm hurting you.
00:24:15Oh, please, honey.
00:24:16After what you did to me when you were born, I can take it.
00:24:21This is fun, Mom.
00:24:23Yeah.
00:24:24We haven't had a girl's day like this in a long time, huh?
00:24:27Well, we went to that winter matinee last year.
00:24:30Oh, no.
00:24:31Tax Evasion Garrett met us there.
00:24:33No, that was two years ago.
00:24:35Last year was Jobless Bob.
00:24:38Oh, yeah.
00:24:40I haven't had the best track record with men, have I?
00:24:43No, you haven't.
00:24:45That's why I'm so glad that I met Wayne.
00:24:47He's such a lovely guy.
00:24:51Well, you look beautiful, Mom.
00:24:54Ah, bad news, ladies.
00:24:56Looks like the DEA are on their way.
00:24:58Did she just have a DEA?
00:24:59Yeah, this is not good.
00:25:00Apologies for being such a rude host, but it's probably best if you just hit the road.
00:25:04You know, before the feds arrived.
00:25:05Product distribution.
00:25:07That's drugs.
00:25:08She's a drug dealer?
00:25:09That's how you're so rich?
00:25:10And you two work together.
00:25:11Were you like Pablo Escobar?
00:25:13Oh, no.
00:25:13We were very low level back then.
00:25:15Here's for you.
00:25:16Just make a little wedding gift.
00:25:18It was lovely seeing you both.
00:25:19I'll see you at the wedding.
00:25:20Okay.
00:25:20Go on, honey.
00:25:21Mom!
00:25:21You gotta go fast.
00:25:22Come on, Mom!
00:25:23It's okay!
00:25:26You're going 90 miles an hour.
00:25:27Well, yeah.
00:25:29Oh, my God.
00:25:32Cheryl!
00:25:35Aunt Cheryl's like a kingpin.
00:25:37Ha, ha, ha.
00:25:38Ah!
00:25:39What?
00:25:39That's funny you say that.
00:25:41That D.A.R.E. program must have really worked.
00:25:43Why wouldn't you ever tell me this?
00:25:46Because I didn't think you'd ever understand.
00:25:48Oh, I don't understand.
00:25:50This is so irresponsible, Mom.
00:25:52Oh, my God.
00:25:53You could have gone to jail.
00:25:55I mean, why would you risk it?
00:25:56There's not a lot of jobs for young single mothers without a college education.
00:26:01And I wanted a better life for you.
00:26:04So I just worked until I could buy a house and get out.
00:26:09And I don't regret any of it.
00:26:12Whoa, Mom.
00:26:13I guess I never really thought about it like that.
00:26:16I mean, it must have been really hard for you all by yourself with a newborn and nobody
00:26:22to rely on.
00:26:24But you know what?
00:26:25What?
00:26:26Now I have Wayne to lean on.
00:26:29My soulmate.
00:26:32Uh-huh.
00:26:39What's that smell?
00:26:4289 bucks a night.
00:26:44Okay.
00:26:45I'm going to go freshen up and see if there's a bar.
00:26:49Yeah.
00:26:49Good idea.
00:26:50I'll change, too.
00:26:51What?
00:26:52Why?
00:26:52You look so good.
00:26:53I'm overdressed for a motel bar, no?
00:26:56Well, at least let me give you something of mine that kind of shows off the goods.
00:26:59What makes you think I didn't bring anything that shows off the goods?
00:27:06Fine.
00:27:13Let's go.
00:27:22Hi.
00:27:24Is that Alice Anderson in a sexy black dress I see on my screen?
00:27:29Woo!
00:27:30Is it too much?
00:27:31It's so tight.
00:27:32No, it's perfect.
00:27:33I'm so glad that you're finally letting loose and shutting off those Girls Gone Mild vibes.
00:27:37Apparently we're going to a bar later.
00:27:40I love that.
00:27:41It's literally the last thing I want to do right now.
00:27:44But we're connecting, so...
00:27:47It's a great idea.
00:27:49You know, your choices should always be bolder than your turtlenecks, Alice.
00:27:53Deepak Chopra said that.
00:27:54No, he did not.
00:27:56But I get your point.
00:27:58One drink can't hurt, right?
00:28:05Wow.
00:28:06I can feel the earth spinning, I think.
00:28:09It's amazing.
00:28:10That's what love feels like.
00:28:12I'll take your word for it.
00:28:15Honey.
00:28:16You've got to get out there and date, Mom.
00:28:19I watched you be heartbroken over and over for my whole life.
00:28:27No, no dating.
00:28:34You don't date because of me?
00:28:37I didn't think you absorbed all that.
00:28:40I mean...
00:28:42It's okay.
00:28:43Oh, Mom, I'm okay.
00:28:45I don't even need a man.
00:28:47And I just always needed a man.
00:28:50You think?
00:28:53I...
00:28:54Sorry.
00:28:55I just mean...
00:28:58Are you...
00:28:59Are you sure you want to marry this guy you've only known for six days?
00:29:04Yeah.
00:29:06In Buffalo?
00:29:07Why Buffalo?
00:29:08Why Buffalo?
00:29:09Buffalo?
00:29:10Buffalo?
00:29:10You know I had a hard time growing up.
00:29:12My parents.
00:29:14I know, Mom.
00:29:17Well...
00:29:18One weekend...
00:29:20We went to Buffalo.
00:29:22Mm-hmm.
00:29:23And we had the best time.
00:29:25Everyone was so happy.
00:29:30It really felt like a family.
00:29:36So I was really sad when we were leaving and I saw this couple and they were getting married in
00:29:45the chapel.
00:29:47And it was so beautiful.
00:29:51And I just thought, if I ever get married, I'm going to get married right here because Buffalo is just
00:30:01the happiest place on earth.
00:30:07I want you to be happy.
00:30:11But do you think this is going to last?
00:30:14Oh, I will.
00:30:18Wayne isn't like any other man I dated.
00:30:22He only wants what's best for me.
00:30:26I promise.
00:30:29You believe me, right?
00:30:37I, um...
00:30:40I believe we need to ride that.
00:30:47Yes!
00:30:48Come on.
00:30:49Okay.
00:30:50Get on her, honey!
00:30:52Yeah!
00:30:54Woo!
00:30:55Woo-hoo!
00:30:56Okay!
00:30:57Look at her!
00:30:58Yes!
00:30:58Next spot!
00:30:59Oh, yeah!
00:31:00Yeah!
00:31:01Oh, yeah!
00:31:02Yeah!
00:31:04Yeah!
00:31:04She gets her hips from there!
00:31:06Woo-hoo!
00:31:07Woo-hoo!
00:31:08Right?
00:31:08Oh, honey!
00:31:09What?
00:31:10She's doing it!
00:31:12She's doing it!
00:31:13Whoa!
00:31:14Whoa!
00:31:15Whoa!
00:31:17Oh!
00:31:18Honey!
00:31:19Alice!
00:31:19Alice!
00:31:20I got you!
00:31:21Oh!
00:31:22That's payback for the airport!
00:31:24Oh!
00:31:25Oh!
00:31:28Are you okay, honey?
00:31:30Yeah.
00:31:31You sure?
00:31:32Yeah, 100%.
00:31:32I'm fine.
00:31:33I just need one sec.
00:31:35Oh!
00:31:37Oh, boy!
00:31:45I don't know what got me worse, the booze or the bull.
00:31:49Oh.
00:31:51It's the booze.
00:31:53Trust me.
00:31:58Hey, we're really close to Columbus.
00:32:02You know, some, um, fresh air might really help me walk around, enjoy the beauty of Ohio.
00:32:11Isn't that pretty far out of the way?
00:32:13No.
00:32:14It's...
00:32:15Or did you plan a stop for us?
00:32:17No.
00:32:18No plan.
00:32:30Hey, Mom, could you go inside and get me a bottle of water?
00:32:33Oh, and maybe a box of those mini gas station donuts?
00:32:37Mini gas station donuts?
00:32:39Yeah, the ones with the powdered sugar all over them.
00:32:42Oh.
00:32:43Okay.
00:32:45How did I raise you so wrong?
00:32:52Okay.
00:32:54This is gonna work.
00:32:55I just need a reason to get us there.
00:32:59Okay.
00:33:01Just a quick...
00:33:04Okay, come on, Alice.
00:33:06You gotta do this, otherwise your mom is gonna get fondled by a strip club con artist
00:33:11with produce for the rest of your life.
00:33:14No!
00:33:15Come on!
00:33:17And lock it.
00:33:21Shit!
00:33:23Ow!
00:33:24Oh, no!
00:33:26Oh!
00:33:27Honey!
00:33:28No!
00:33:29What's wrong?
00:33:29I think I chipped my ulna.
00:33:31Oh!
00:33:32Where's that?
00:33:33It's my elbow!
00:33:35Oh!
00:33:36Oh!
00:33:37I'm gonna...
00:33:38I'm gonna find the nearest doctor's office.
00:33:42You bang your elbow and you run to a plastic surgeon's office?
00:33:47What do you think they're gonna do, Botox the bruise?
00:33:51Miss Anderson, I'm Dr.
00:33:54Tim?
00:33:55Cheney?
00:33:57Oh!
00:33:57My God.
00:33:58You two know each other?
00:33:59It's been a while.
00:34:01How are you?
00:34:03Wow!
00:34:03So, uh, you finally opened your own practice?
00:34:08I always told you I would.
00:34:12You went to Harvard Medical School?
00:34:15Uh-huh, yeah.
00:34:17After the Peace Corps, I realized my true calling was medicine.
00:34:20Wow.
00:34:21And what better way to help people than cosmetic surgery?
00:34:24Because when you look your best, you feel your best.
00:34:28I guess that is true.
00:34:30Must be a nice paycheck, too, huh?
00:34:34Cheney, it's so good to see you.
00:34:37Um, wait, Mom.
00:34:40Is this the Tim you dated when I was three?
00:34:44That you said was the great love of your life?
00:34:49Um...
00:34:50I might have said something like that.
00:34:52Well, I mean, of course this was before Wayne.
00:34:55Wait a second, who's Wayne?
00:34:56My fiancee.
00:34:58Oh, congrats.
00:35:00Mm-hmm.
00:35:00So much you two don't know about each other.
00:35:03Maybe we should spend an extra day or two here and...
00:35:06You and this Harvard-educated, rich doctor with an excellent jawline.
00:35:13Did you get that done?
00:35:14Not my business.
00:35:15You two could catch up.
00:35:19Cheney, I-I've missed you so much.
00:35:22What?
00:35:23You!
00:35:24Oh!
00:35:27I warned you.
00:35:29Nancy!
00:35:30Oh, you look terrific.
00:35:31He does great work.
00:35:32Oh!
00:35:33Nancy, Jeannie just stopped at where he brought her.
00:35:35Oh, oh!
00:35:35Oh, my God!
00:35:35Mom?
00:35:36Oh!
00:35:36I warned you.
00:35:38Next time you come near my husband, it would be your last!
00:35:42Oh, my God!
00:35:42Your husband?
00:35:43He is not wearing a wedding ring!
00:35:45You are not wearing a wedding ring!
00:35:46No!
00:35:47No, no, no, no, Nancy, no!
00:35:48Nancy!
00:35:48You're gonna hurt someone.
00:35:50You!
00:35:53No!
00:35:53None!
00:35:54Jjr!
00:35:55Ya!
00:35:55Nats, Nats, Nats!
00:35:57Nats!
00:35:58Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh!
00:36:00Oh, my God!
00:36:02Ah!
00:36:04Getting in the car!
00:36:05Oh, my God!
00:36:06Ah!
00:36:07Ah!
00:36:08Ah!
00:36:08No, go, go, go, go!
00:36:09Ah!
00:36:11Ah!
00:36:11Ah!
00:36:12Mom!
00:36:15Oh, my God!
00:36:17Oh, oh, oh, no!
00:36:20Ah!
00:36:26Don't even think about coming back!
00:36:29That was insane.
00:36:32It'll be fine. How's your elbow?
00:36:34What? Oh, better. Thank you.
00:36:37I'm really sorry you made us go there.
00:36:40Well, you know, it's not like you knew it was my ex's practice.
00:36:44Yeah. It was a small world.
00:36:47But it did seem like you two were kind of having a moment there before we almost got murdered by
00:36:51his wife.
00:36:52You know, it's funny. I spent the last two decades fantasizing about Tim. You know, the one who got away.
00:36:58Yeah.
00:36:59Now I see exactly what was wrong.
00:37:02Like that he's married?
00:37:04Well, yeah, but also he never stood up for me.
00:37:08With Wayne, I always feel so supported.
00:37:12Yeah.
00:37:15Oh, shit!
00:37:17I wasn't speeding.
00:37:18You handed me my purse. I threw it in the back.
00:37:22Oh, my God.
00:37:25Why is there cocaine in our car?
00:37:27Because Cheryl is a very generous gift giver. It's worth a fortune.
00:37:31Mom, the cop is going to see this.
00:37:34And then I'm going to go to prison.
00:37:35I'm going to go to prison with my mom.
00:37:37Oh, my God.
00:37:39What are you doing?
00:37:41Oh, my God.
00:37:43Okay.
00:37:44Listen to me, Alice.
00:37:46Men will do anything if you flirt with them in the right way.
00:37:49It's our superpower as women.
00:37:51Mom, I can't. I'm not like you.
00:37:53Yes, you are.
00:37:54You just have to do three things.
00:37:55Use his name, laugh at whatever he says, and give him a look like this.
00:37:59I can't do that.
00:38:01Oh, yes, you can.
00:38:02No, I trust you. Love you.
00:38:04No, I can't. Mom, I can't.
00:38:07Hi. Officer Dingleman.
00:38:10Wow, cool name.
00:38:12You know why I pulled you over?
00:38:14No, Officer Dingleman. I don't.
00:38:17You've got a busted taillight.
00:38:19Well, we hit a deer.
00:38:22From the back.
00:38:24Crazy, right?
00:38:25I mean, what are the odds?
00:38:27So funny.
00:38:28Not for the deer.
00:38:30Oh, it's a powder explosion.
00:38:32My daughter just loves those mini gas station donuts, Dingleman.
00:38:36Gross. No one likes those.
00:38:37Oh, I do.
00:38:38They're my guilty pleasure.
00:38:41Must have spilled them when we hit the deer.
00:38:45If you promise to go with a mechanic, I can give you a warning.
00:38:49Really?
00:38:51Safe travels.
00:38:55I can't believe that actually worked.
00:38:57I'm so proud of you, honey.
00:38:59We just have to work on your flirting face.
00:39:01Why was the lip light too much?
00:39:03I'd have given more cannibal than coquette.
00:39:05Okay, I can take that feedback.
00:39:07Speaking of coquette, we need to get this stuff out of here immediately.
00:39:12Good call with the donuts, Mom.
00:39:14How'd you come up with that?
00:39:15There's a few tricks up my sleeve.
00:39:16Come on.
00:39:17I'm hungry. Let's go.
00:39:18Okay.
00:39:22Is that...
00:39:23No, it couldn't be.
00:39:25Don't I know you from high school?
00:39:28Do you remember?
00:39:28It's me.
00:39:29Hey.
00:39:30How are you here?
00:39:33Oh, I just happen to be passing by my favorite pit stop, which is why I recommended it to
00:39:38your mother yesterday.
00:39:39Oh, did you?
00:39:40I thought it would be rude if I didn't text him after he gave you his number.
00:39:45So, seeing as you're here, Clive and I are playing at a festival nearby, so it'd be great
00:39:51if you two came through.
00:39:51Oh, we have a lot of driving to do today, Mother.
00:39:56So, I just don't know that we have time.
00:39:58Come on.
00:39:59It'll be fun.
00:39:59You can leave immediately after we finish playing, and I will play so fast, just for you.
00:40:09Sure.
00:40:09Okay, good.
00:40:10Hey, great.
00:40:11Okay.
00:40:12All right.
00:40:12Clive is waiting in the van, so I will text you the address.
00:40:17Okay.
00:40:17Great.
00:40:18Thank you very much.
00:40:18And, uh, ma'am?
00:40:20Yeah.
00:40:21We'll see you later.
00:40:22Okay.
00:40:23Woo-hoo.
00:40:24It's fun.
00:40:25What are you up to?
00:40:28Oh, come on.
00:40:30I can feel it.
00:40:31Ah.
00:40:33Unbelievable.
00:40:43Oh, what great outfit.
00:40:46This is not a music festival.
00:40:48Oh, this is going to be so much fun.
00:40:49I always wanted to be a wench.
00:40:55Oh, I like your cane.
00:40:57Oh, my goodness.
00:40:59What is over here?
00:41:00Is this harvest stuff?
00:41:07Oh, my goodness.
00:41:09Oh, my goodness.
00:41:11Wow.
00:41:12On a cold and rainy afternoon
00:41:16You found my pieces fighting back to life
00:41:23Patially you're lifting me from my arms
00:41:29Look at those fingers go
00:41:32That's why you date guitarists, not drummers
00:41:34Mom!
00:41:35Never drummers
00:41:37Okay
00:41:44All right, thank you very much
00:41:46We've got to take our time
00:41:51Mom
00:41:52What?
00:41:53Mom?
00:41:53No
00:41:53Mom
00:41:54I'm just going to
00:41:55I'm just going to be a second
00:41:56Okay
00:41:59Hey
00:42:00Hey
00:42:01That was great
00:42:03Thanks
00:42:03I mean
00:42:04Really, really great
00:42:06Thanks so much
00:42:08And thank you so much for coming
00:42:09Yeah
00:42:09We would certainly not forbear it
00:42:12Good sir
00:42:14Okay
00:42:15It's a little
00:42:16Renaissance fair
00:42:17Shakespeare
00:42:18You know, we wouldn't have missed it
00:42:20Yeah
00:42:21And, uh, look
00:42:22I know you said you had to hit the road
00:42:23Or whatever
00:42:24But this is a
00:42:25This is a really cool place
00:42:27And, uh
00:42:27I don't know
00:42:28Did you want to maybe
00:42:29Take a walk
00:42:30Check it out
00:42:30And catch up?
00:42:32I do
00:42:33Um
00:42:33It's just we
00:42:35Well, we have a schedule
00:42:36And I can't really abandon my mom
00:42:38Oh, no
00:42:40How would I ever find shelter
00:42:43Or ale without my daughter?
00:42:44Well
00:42:45Honey
00:42:46I know you think you have to take care of me
00:42:48But you don't
00:42:49Because I'm older than you
00:42:51Barely
00:42:52Mm-hmm
00:42:54Why don't you kids
00:42:55Go have some fun
00:42:56And make me a Granby?
00:42:57Mom
00:42:58Oh, come on
00:42:59We're at a Ren Faire
00:43:00Just go ponder each other's booty
00:43:01Please ignore her
00:43:03Let's go
00:43:04Okay
00:43:09Clive, is it?
00:43:11Yes
00:43:11Come on, Clive
00:43:12Let's go find a cup of mead
00:43:14Yeah, okay
00:43:17Let's do it
00:43:18Let's see what you got
00:43:19Katniss Everdeen
00:43:20Just give it
00:43:21Give it a little
00:43:21Pull it back a little bit
00:43:23Go back
00:43:23You got this
00:43:24You got this
00:43:24And
00:43:29Not bad
00:43:29Wait
00:43:30Same time
00:43:31Ready?
00:43:31Uh-huh
00:43:31Okay, go
00:43:32One, two, three
00:43:43Two
00:43:45Congrats
00:43:46Oh, your lap is so comfy
00:43:50Oh
00:43:51I look like a princess
00:43:52You absolutely do
00:43:53Oh, yes
00:43:55Oh, oh, oh
00:44:10Thanks for inviting me
00:44:11I'm my mom
00:44:11Of course
00:44:12This is fun
00:44:13You two seem close
00:44:17I didn't mean to open up
00:44:18A can of worms
00:44:19Like I'm so
00:44:19That wasn't a trick question
00:44:21It's okay
00:44:21My mom and I
00:44:23Are a work in progress
00:44:24How so?
00:44:26Do you want
00:44:27The real answer
00:44:28Or
00:44:30The real answer
00:44:31It's sort of like
00:44:32My whole life
00:44:33I have been her single mom
00:44:35And if I recall
00:44:36Your father wasn't around
00:44:38Right?
00:44:39Yeah
00:44:39Sorry to bring that up
00:44:40It's okay
00:44:41You can't miss what you don't know
00:44:43Not that I have
00:44:44Like crazy daddy issues
00:44:46Or something
00:44:46I'm sorry
00:44:47I've got bad news
00:44:48You are at a renaissance fair
00:44:51On a date with a guy from a band
00:44:52You have got daddy issues
00:44:54Okay, okay
00:44:55I see your point
00:44:57This is
00:44:58This is a date
00:44:59Right?
00:45:01Good sir
00:45:02I do not share
00:45:04A turkey leg
00:45:05With just
00:45:06Anyone
00:45:06Okay, well I'm very happy
00:45:08To hear that
00:45:08Now if only we had
00:45:09Some desserts
00:45:10Like
00:45:11Like a huge stack
00:45:12Of mini powdered donuts
00:45:13You like those?
00:45:15They're the best dessert
00:45:15Easily
00:45:16Top ten
00:45:16I know
00:45:17They're the greatest
00:45:18Incredible
00:45:18Top two
00:45:19My favorite
00:45:19And they're not two
00:45:21Wow
00:45:22And
00:45:22Just to put your mind at ease
00:45:24I grew up in a household
00:45:26With a happily married couple
00:45:27And look how that worked out
00:45:28I live in a van
00:45:29And my parents don't return
00:45:30My phone calls
00:45:31Really?
00:45:32Yeah
00:45:33I'm
00:45:34I'm so sorry
00:45:35Why?
00:45:36I did the whole law school thing
00:45:37Got a great job
00:45:38At a great firm
00:45:39And I was
00:45:41Miserable
00:45:43And one day
00:45:44I was going to work
00:45:44And there was a
00:45:45Homeless gentleman
00:45:46Playing
00:45:47Some music
00:45:48I was so
00:45:49Jealous
00:45:50That he got to sing
00:45:51And I was stuck
00:45:52Writing NDAs
00:45:54For diaper companies
00:45:54So I gave him
00:45:56All the money I had
00:45:57In my pocket
00:45:57And I
00:45:58Quit
00:45:59Wow
00:46:01That's how it happened
00:46:02Mm-hmm
00:46:03How about you?
00:46:04I bet you're doing
00:46:05Something amazing
00:46:06I was so intimidated
00:46:07By you in high school
00:46:08What?
00:46:08Yeah
00:46:09You were?
00:46:10Obviously
00:46:10Okay
00:46:12Brilliant
00:46:13Creative
00:46:14Beautiful
00:46:15I was shaking
00:46:16In my orthopedic sneakers
00:46:17Every time you walked by
00:46:19Well that is very sweet
00:46:21I'm going to disappoint you
00:46:23I don't think so
00:46:23I work in HR now
00:46:26It is very
00:46:28Whatever
00:46:32If you think it's whatever
00:46:34Then you should do something else
00:46:37Like quit my job
00:46:38And become a singer
00:46:40I'm just saying that
00:46:41You should go after
00:46:43Whatever you want
00:46:44Because you
00:46:45Are too amazing
00:46:47To settle for anything less
00:47:02What I want
00:47:03Is to go back
00:47:04To your van
00:47:07Really?
00:47:10Really
00:47:23We fell asleep
00:47:24Mm-hmm
00:47:26Oh
00:47:26Oh no
00:47:28Hi
00:47:29Hi
00:47:29I left my mom alone
00:47:31All night
00:47:31Um
00:47:32Okay
00:47:33Uh
00:47:35Oh my god
00:47:36I can't believe we did that last night
00:47:37I can't believe I did that last night
00:47:39Did what?
00:47:40Because there was
00:47:41We did a lot last night
00:47:45Wait
00:47:46Um
00:47:46My mother
00:47:48Um
00:47:49When uh
00:47:50When can I see you again?
00:47:52You want to see me again?
00:47:54Yeah
00:47:55Do you uh
00:47:55Do you want to see me again?
00:48:02Yeah
00:48:10How about uh
00:48:13Just off the top of my head
00:48:14About a buffalo
00:48:15Maybe
00:48:16Oh?
00:48:17Yeah
00:48:18You're going to be there
00:48:19With your mom
00:48:20Right?
00:48:21And we'll be passing through
00:48:23Oh
00:48:29Um
00:48:33The mailbox belonging to Jeannie Anderson is full
00:48:36It's full
00:48:36Come on mom
00:48:39Okay
00:48:41Hi
00:48:41Alice
00:48:42Hi
00:48:43I have really big news and
00:48:46Hold on
00:48:47Did you get laid?
00:48:48You're glowing
00:48:49Yeah
00:48:51Last night
00:48:51A guy I went to high school with
00:48:53I slept in his van
00:48:56I mean wow
00:48:57That is something that I would do
00:48:58And that's not a compliment
00:49:00I know
00:49:01Well listen
00:49:01It's going to be hard
00:49:03To be a groupie
00:49:03When they
00:49:05Promote you
00:49:06What do you know?
00:49:07I mean I may have
00:49:09Accidentally
00:49:10Eavesdropped on a certain meeting
00:49:11Where they were talking about
00:49:12A director position
00:49:13And you don't look excited
00:49:15No I
00:49:16I am
00:49:16I just
00:49:19I'm just starting to wonder
00:49:20If I want to be in HR
00:49:21For the rest of my life
00:49:22Babe
00:49:24I've been waiting for you to say that
00:49:25For two years now
00:49:29So you don't think I'm crazy
00:49:30If I pass on the promotion?
00:49:32No I don't think you're crazy
00:49:33But speaking of crazy
00:49:35How goes Operation Wedding Crash?
00:49:38Oh
00:49:39I'm starting to feel so guilty actually
00:49:41We're having so much fun together
00:49:43And I
00:49:44I don't know
00:49:45Maybe she's not this train wreck
00:49:47I always think she is
00:49:48Or
00:49:49That she definitely used to be
00:49:51Okay so
00:49:52You are sleeping in a van
00:49:54Prioritizing work-life balance
00:49:55And giving Jeannie
00:49:56The benefit of the dough
00:49:58Who are you?
00:50:00I don't know
00:50:01New Alice
00:50:02I can't wait to meet her
00:50:04Bye
00:50:09Oh
00:50:10Hello
00:50:13She did what?
00:50:15No I'm
00:50:16I'm coming right now
00:50:18I know
00:50:20You're the professionals
00:50:21But trust me
00:50:22It's circle
00:50:24Circle
00:50:25Flick
00:50:26Nibble
00:50:27Blamble
00:50:29There's our favorite inmate
00:50:32Oh officer Brent
00:50:34Hi sweetie
00:50:35How are you?
00:50:37Uh
00:50:37Not great
00:50:39You broke into someone's house
00:50:41And fell asleep on their couch
00:50:42What were you doing?
00:50:43I had to pee
00:50:44After drinking all day with Clive
00:50:46And the bathrooms were out of order
00:50:48So you broke into someone's house?
00:50:50You're lucky the homeowners
00:50:52Don't want to press charges
00:50:54Oh you see?
00:50:55So it's no big deal
00:50:56It is a big deal
00:50:57Breaking and entering
00:50:59Is literally a big deal
00:51:00There are consequences
00:51:02For your actions
00:51:03I mean not in this case
00:51:05I understand
00:51:05But normally in the real world
00:51:07Come on
00:51:09Okay
00:51:10There's no need to be so dramatic
00:51:11I mean it's not like anyone got hurt
00:51:15I got hurt
00:51:17I am hurt
00:51:20Do you not understand
00:51:21That worrying about you hurts me?
00:51:24Worrying all the time
00:51:25Not knowing if you're okay
00:51:26Following you around
00:51:27Cleaning up all of your messes
00:51:28I haven't had a day
00:51:30To be irresponsible ever
00:51:32I had one night of fun
00:51:34And you're in jail
00:51:34You think that's dramatic?
00:51:37Alice that's not fair
00:51:38Nothing about our relationship is fair
00:51:43I actually can't believe
00:51:45How things were changing
00:51:49So there's some paperwork
00:51:51Needs to be filled out
00:51:53Yeah I'll handle it
00:51:54I always handle it
00:51:57Have fun saying goodbye
00:51:58To all your fancy new friends
00:52:00Ladies
00:52:14Hey you
00:52:16Oh yeah
00:52:17Also took the liberty of charging
00:52:19Mrs. Anderson's cell phone for her
00:52:21After we used it to play heads up
00:52:24You played games in jail?
00:52:26Your mom talked us into it
00:52:29We had a blast
00:52:32Bet there's never a dull moment
00:52:34With her around is there?
00:52:36No there isn't
00:52:38Okay
00:52:39I'll go grab her personals
00:52:40And bring her out
00:52:41Okay thanks
00:52:48Hello
00:52:49Jeannie B
00:52:51Oh
00:52:52Wait no
00:52:53This is Alice
00:52:53My mom
00:52:56Can't come to the phone right now
00:52:57Well I've been calling her all night
00:52:59You see alright?
00:53:00See I
00:53:01I gotta get her
00:53:02Opinion on the location
00:53:03For Suds and Swig
00:53:06Suds and Swig?
00:53:08Yeah
00:53:08See that's the business
00:53:10We're starting
00:53:10It's a laundromat
00:53:12That's also a bar
00:53:14Now listen up
00:53:15Get this
00:53:16You ready?
00:53:18Get your clothes washed
00:53:20While you get sloshed
00:53:23It's catchy right?
00:53:25Mmm genius
00:53:26See
00:53:27Only thing is
00:53:28She's gotta apply for the liquor license
00:53:30I can't legally do it
00:53:32Even though that incident
00:53:34Was 30 freaking years ago
00:53:38Wayne?
00:53:40Yeah
00:53:42The reason my mom can't come to the phone right now
00:53:46Is because she met someone else
00:53:47I'm sorry
00:53:48It's over
00:53:50Hold on
00:53:50Hold on here
00:53:53That can't be
00:53:54You see
00:53:54We're soulmates
00:53:56You know we're two sunny bunnies
00:53:57And a honey hut
00:53:58I understand
00:53:59That this is
00:54:00Um
00:54:02Probably hard to hear
00:54:03But you know
00:54:04She and
00:54:04Uh
00:54:06Daryl
00:54:06Are very much in love
00:54:08They're just so very happy together
00:54:10And she didn't know how to tell you
00:54:11Because she does really care about you
00:54:13But the wedding is
00:54:14Off
00:54:14I'm sorry
00:54:15Goodbye
00:54:17Daryl
00:54:20Daryl
00:54:21What kind of name is Daryl?
00:54:23I'll be a monkey run
00:54:25I'll be a monkey run
00:54:25I'll be a monkey run
00:54:38A monk
00:54:41Sweet freedom
00:54:42I've got your phone
00:54:44Thank you
00:54:49Okay
00:54:50Let's see
00:54:52Okay
00:54:54I think
00:54:55Everything is here
00:54:57We're all set
00:54:58Hey, great
00:54:59I
00:54:59What is that?
00:55:02It's Queenie
00:55:03I told you
00:55:03You got her stuffed?
00:55:05Well, I couldn't say goodbye
00:55:07To this little face
00:55:09I know
00:55:12Has she been with you
00:55:13This whole time?
00:55:15I told you that
00:55:16I thought you meant
00:55:18You were bringing her ashes
00:55:19Ew
00:55:20No
00:55:22Was she with us all day
00:55:24At the festival?
00:55:25Well, I couldn't leave her
00:55:26In the hot car
00:55:27That wouldn't be right
00:55:28Mom
00:55:29Also, the rental car
00:55:31Would smell like formaldehyde
00:55:32Ew
00:55:34Oh, please put her away
00:55:36I feel like she's staring at me
00:55:39I'm sorry, sweetie
00:55:45Are you still mad at me, sweetie?
00:55:48Let's just forget about it
00:55:49We have a long day ahead of us
00:56:18Mom
00:56:20Mom
00:56:20Mom
00:56:21Oh
00:56:22Hi
00:56:26Wait
00:56:27Where are we?
00:56:29Come on
00:56:30You'll see
00:56:36We're here
00:56:37Because it's part of your history
00:56:39College is the chapter
00:56:41That you never got to finish
00:56:43I don't need to finish it
00:56:44Oh, Mom
00:56:45Your dream was to be a veterinarian
00:56:47No, and then I got pregnant with you
00:56:49And my dream became being your mom
00:56:51But I don't want you to give up your dream for me
00:56:53You could have both
00:56:55I spoke to the dean
00:56:57And they offer continuing education classes for adults
00:57:01This could be your next chapter, Mom
00:57:05Honey
00:57:07I appreciate what you're trying to do
00:57:09But I don't have that dream anymore
00:57:11And I don't have very good memories about this place
00:57:14Mom
00:57:14I know leaving here early was hard
00:57:19But you can come back
00:57:21You can do this
00:57:22We're here
00:57:23Let's go in
00:57:24For me
00:57:28What if I run into some of my old classmates?
00:57:31Mom
00:57:32Anyone you went to college with
00:57:34Has either graduated, retired, or is dead
00:57:40Right
00:57:41Right?
00:57:42Yeah
00:57:42Okay
00:57:42Okay
00:57:43The dean of the veterinary school has office hours today
00:57:46Getting a brochure can't hurt, right?
00:57:49Sure
00:57:50We're here anyway
00:57:51Come on
00:57:52Just right here
00:57:55Oh, Mom
00:57:56Mom
00:57:59Can I pet your dog?
00:58:01Okay
00:58:01Oh
00:58:03Dean Stevens
00:58:04Hi
00:58:07You're a student at the school
00:58:09Oh, no
00:58:10I'm not a student
00:58:11Thank you, though
00:58:11My mom used to be
00:58:13Hey, Mom
00:58:14Mom
00:58:15Come meet the dean
00:58:17Huh?
00:58:21Peter
00:58:22Jean?
00:58:23Peter, I had no idea
00:58:28Oh, I see
00:58:28He brought her here for what?
00:58:31Guilt?
00:58:32More money?
00:58:33Let's not forget
00:58:34You're an adult
00:58:35A legal adult
00:58:36Alice
00:58:37We need to go
00:58:39Jean, I gave you $10,000 to not be involved
00:58:42We had an agreement
00:58:43Hey!
00:58:44We don't want your goddamn money
00:58:48My mom raised me all on her own
00:58:50Bought us a house on her own
00:58:52Paid for my college on her own
00:58:54We don't need anything from you
00:59:02Come on, Mom
00:59:04Come on
00:59:06Come on
00:59:22I didn't want you to find out that way
00:59:25You didn't want me to find out at all
00:59:31Did you love him?
00:59:35I really thought I did
00:59:41But then I got pregnant
00:59:43And I saw the real him
00:59:44You could have told me who he was
00:59:49Peter made it very clear that he didn't want contact
00:59:52Not ever
00:59:56So
00:59:58I just decided it was better to lie
01:00:02Rather than make you feel unwanted
01:00:06I understand you wanting to protect me as a child
01:00:11But when I got older
01:00:15I didn't know how to tell you
01:00:17I had already lied for so long
01:00:21I just
01:00:24I just thought it was better to leave it alone
01:00:27Yeah
01:00:29I
01:00:29I
01:00:30I make sense
01:00:37Let's just
01:00:38Go to a motel and call it for today
01:00:40I'm exhausted
01:00:42Sound good
01:00:44Sound good
01:00:44Okay
01:00:45Okay
01:01:05I've tried Wayne six times and it still says it's not in service
01:01:10Huh
01:01:11I mean he does use a pay as you go
01:01:13So he probably just hasn't had time to get a new card
01:01:17Running around getting ready for the wedding
01:01:20I mean I can't believe that's already here
01:01:21It's tomorrow
01:01:23Yeah me neither
01:01:31Okay well
01:01:33I'll go take off my face
01:01:37Just kidding
01:01:38I'll keep it
01:01:46Night
01:01:47Night
01:01:48Night
01:02:16I got it
01:02:17I got it
01:02:19I'm supposed to meet Wes at the canal park overlook
01:02:23If you want to meet me there
01:02:24After
01:02:25Okay
01:02:26I thought I'd take pictures with Queenie by the water
01:02:29Try Wayne again
01:02:32His phone still isn't working
01:02:34And the wedding's in six hours
01:02:38But he'll be there
01:02:40I know he will
01:02:41So
01:02:41Okay well
01:02:43Go have fun
01:02:44Find Wes
01:02:51Hey
01:02:52Hey
01:02:52I'm so happy you're here
01:02:53Oh yeah
01:02:54I was trying to get nervous when I didn't get your text back
01:02:56Oh sorry
01:02:57You're good
01:02:58Uh
01:02:58Where'd you park your van?
01:03:00Just a few blocks away
01:03:02Why?
01:03:03Well
01:03:03Let's go
01:03:04Hey
01:03:05Wait
01:03:06You okay?
01:03:07Yeah
01:03:07I'm fine
01:03:08Come on
01:03:09Hey hey hey
01:03:10Look look
01:03:10I mean
01:03:10Don't get me wrong
01:03:12The thought of sleeping together again sounds incredible
01:03:13But I thought maybe we could
01:03:14I don't know
01:03:15Go for a walk first
01:03:17Talk
01:03:18Hear how you've been
01:03:18Trust me
01:03:19You don't want to hear about any of that
01:03:20Of course I do
01:03:21Let's just
01:03:22Come on
01:03:23Alice
01:03:23Stop
01:03:25Is everything okay?
01:03:26No
01:03:26It's not
01:03:28My mom got arrested
01:03:29What?
01:03:30Because I chose myself for one night
01:03:32And I hung out with you
01:03:33And I wasn't watching out for her
01:03:35Then I met my long lost father
01:03:37Who it turns out
01:03:37Is really a dick
01:03:39And my mom has actually known about him my entire life
01:03:41And chose to keep him a secret from me
01:03:43So no Wes
01:03:44Everything is not okay
01:03:45And I would just love
01:03:46To be distracted
01:03:47And go and have some fun
01:03:49Meaningless sex
01:03:49Because apparently
01:03:50That's a thing that I do now
01:03:54Meaningless
01:03:54I mean
01:03:56Please don't pretend to be heartbroken about it
01:03:58I know that's what men want
01:03:59Sex without commitment
01:04:00I'm in
01:04:01You got it
01:04:04That's not what I want
01:04:07Okay
01:04:09Tell me what you want
01:04:11Well
01:04:11Well for starters
01:04:12How about some clarity
01:04:13With the girl I've liked since the ninth grade
01:04:15Maybe take her out on a real date
01:04:17See where things go
01:04:18Where are things gonna go Wes?
01:04:21I have a stable regimented life in St. Louis
01:04:24And you live in a van
01:04:25Can we just let this fling be what it is?
01:04:28Can it just be fun?
01:04:30Is that clear enough for you?
01:04:34Yeah
01:04:37Look I'm not trying to hurt you
01:04:39I'm just trying to be realistic
01:04:40Are you?
01:04:42Or are you just giving up on something
01:04:44Before you've even tried
01:04:45Because you're too damn scared?
01:04:49I'll see you around
01:05:04Hi sweetie
01:05:06Hi where's Wes?
01:05:09He's gone
01:05:10Mom
01:05:10I don't want to talk about it
01:05:12Can we just go?
01:05:13Please
01:05:14Wayne
01:05:15Honey
01:05:16Whatever I did
01:05:17I'm sorry
01:05:18I just had to come see you
01:05:20How did you even find us here?
01:05:22Well we share locations on our phone
01:05:23Just like we share everything
01:05:26At least we used to
01:05:27Please baby
01:05:28Just talk to me
01:05:29Look
01:05:29We don't have to start a business
01:05:31Hell
01:05:32No we don't have to get hitched today
01:05:34I just love you so much baby
01:05:35I'll do anything
01:05:36Don't give up on us
01:05:37Please
01:05:38I'm just begging you
01:05:39I'm begging you
01:05:41You're the one who hasn't called
01:05:43I've been so worried
01:05:45And your phone's not working
01:05:47What you talking about?
01:05:48I called you 14 times yesterday
01:05:51Ever since Alice told me
01:05:52You found someone new
01:05:53And I'm going to tell you this right now
01:05:55I will fight this Daryl guy
01:05:57For your love
01:05:59Or
01:06:00For my
01:06:01Uh
01:06:02A throuple
01:06:04You told him I met someone else?
01:06:07Wayne can I have a minute alone
01:06:09With my mom please?
01:06:10Well
01:06:12Sure thing
01:06:13Okay I'll
01:06:14I'll be
01:06:15I'll be back
01:06:15I'll be back
01:06:16Don't forget about me
01:06:17Don't forget about me
01:06:18Don't go far
01:06:21Mom
01:06:22I'm so sorry
01:06:23I was only trying to protect you from yourself
01:06:26Well
01:06:27Lying to me is not protecting me
01:06:29Except for when you do it
01:06:32Do you have any idea how much it hurts me?
01:06:35That you have known who my father is my whole life?
01:06:39All those times I asked you?
01:06:41I'm sorry honey
01:06:42I know I made mistakes back then
01:06:44You're still making them mom
01:06:46And I am trying so hard to help you
01:06:48Because I love you
01:06:49And I love you
01:06:50But you don't listen
01:06:51Of course I do
01:06:52No you don't
01:06:52I tried to talk to you about my concerns about Wayne
01:06:56And you just
01:06:57Brushed them off
01:06:58I planned this entire trip to try to get through to you
01:07:01To show you that there's a better path for you
01:07:03Than marrying some weirdo
01:07:04That you just met
01:07:06Whose boozy laundromat is gonna bankrupt you
01:07:08Alice
01:07:09Alice
01:07:10I know you don't support this
01:07:12But this is my life
01:07:15And you have to accept that I'm making good decisions
01:07:18All that's happened this week is that you're a magnet for bad decisions
01:07:22But I don't know that I have the energy to keep helping you clean them up anymore
01:07:26Well I'm not asking you to honey
01:07:30Maybe you just like fixing my life so you don't have to live yours
01:07:34What?
01:07:36You need to be the new Alice that I've seen coming out of her shell this week
01:07:40You have to stop playing it safe
01:07:41You have to have fun
01:07:42You want me to have fun like you?
01:07:46Honey
01:07:47I know I haven't always been the best mother
01:07:50And I wish I had grown up sooner so that you didn't have to
01:07:54But I have always done right by my daughters
01:07:57And you and Queenie are just the light
01:08:01No mom
01:08:02This is not your daughter
01:08:03This was a dog
01:08:04This was a dog
01:08:05I am not a dog
01:08:07I am your daughter
01:08:09Queenie
01:08:10Oh my god
01:08:13Mom I didn't mean to do that
01:08:15She threw a puppy into the river
01:08:18No I didn't
01:08:19Well I mean I did
01:08:20But it wasn't alive
01:08:22It was stuffed
01:08:23It was dead before
01:08:24Oh my god
01:08:26I can't do this
01:08:27Mom I can't do this
01:08:30It hurts me too much to watch you throw your life away
01:08:32I have to go
01:08:33I'm sorry
01:08:35Alice
01:08:49Hello
01:08:50Alice
01:08:51It's Cheryl
01:08:52When will you be here?
01:08:54I'm not coming
01:08:55What?
01:08:56You're the maid of honor
01:08:58I know
01:08:59Mom and I had a big fight
01:09:01And I'm not coming
01:09:02Oh my god
01:09:04Listen
01:09:04I knew that she was eventually gonna blow up at you for your mind gamey don't get married road trip
01:09:09Wait
01:09:11She knew?
01:09:13The whole time?
01:09:14You're about as subtle as a yeast infection
01:09:16Jeannie told me about it when you two were here
01:09:19But she swore that it was all worth it
01:09:21But you know to spend all that time with you
01:09:23You're really not coming to your own mother's wedding?
01:09:26No
01:09:26I don't know what to tell you Cheryl
01:09:29I give up okay
01:09:31I'm going to return the rental car
01:09:32I'm flying back to St. Louis
01:09:35I doubt she even wants me there anyway
01:09:37She loves you you know
01:09:38She loves you more than anything
01:09:50You know the movie Cars
01:09:52I know it's not real
01:09:53But I think this one felt pain
01:09:57The good thing is I did get the insurance
01:10:00Hold on
01:10:01I guess that's good
01:10:02I have it here somewhere
01:10:16I know it's not real
01:10:16I know it's not real
01:10:20I know it's not real
01:10:20I know it's not real
01:10:21I know it's not real
01:10:22I know it's not real
01:10:22I know it's not real
01:10:22I know it's not real
01:10:23I know it's not real
01:10:26I know it's not real
01:10:31I know it's not real
01:10:35I actually need the car for one more day.
01:10:37I have to be...
01:10:38Oh, no, I can't do that, miss.
01:10:40Look at this thing.
01:10:40It's a liability issue.
01:10:42That's okay.
01:10:42Just rent me something else.
01:10:44Please.
01:10:45Oh, no.
01:10:46All our other cars are booked.
01:10:47All of these cars are booked?
01:10:48You want another car?
01:10:50Look at what you did to one of our best cars.
01:10:53I know.
01:10:58I know.
01:11:01I know.
01:11:01I know I did.
01:11:03A bad thing.
01:11:06I was kind of a bad girl.
01:11:09But if you...
01:11:11If you could help me out,
01:11:13I promise you,
01:11:15I will take such good care of her.
01:11:19I just need her for just one more day.
01:11:24Keith?
01:11:26Keith, is it?
01:11:28This is a powerful name.
01:11:30Yeah, it's Celtic.
01:11:33Really?
01:11:34It means wood.
01:11:36Celtic key.
01:11:38So big and strong.
01:11:40Could you please just be powerful for me and help me out?
01:11:47All right.
01:11:50I'm going to have to run it by my boss.
01:11:53Or...
01:11:55Or...
01:11:58We...
01:12:02We could keep this between you and me.
01:12:08Oh.
01:12:10Oh.
01:12:10Oh.
01:12:11Oh.
01:12:12You like to party.
01:12:14Yeah.
01:12:14I do.
01:12:15Sometimes.
01:12:16I'm cool.
01:12:17Thank you, Keith.
01:12:19Bye, man.
01:12:19Bye.
01:12:20Oh, I gotta call mom.
01:12:24Hey, mom?
01:12:28Oh.
01:12:41We're right.
01:12:47Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no.
01:12:51Damn it!
01:12:53Oh, I should have listened to Keith.
01:12:55No!
01:12:57No, no, no, no, no, no, no!
01:12:59I can't.
01:13:00Wow!
01:13:01Oh, ho, ho, ho, ho!
01:13:03Yeah!
01:13:04Say it, my baby!
01:13:05Oh, ho, ho, ho!
01:13:07Oh, ho, ho, ho!
01:13:09Oh!
01:13:10Oh, I'm coming, Mom.
01:13:12Oh, ho, ho, ho, ho!
01:13:15Oh, my God, you see this girl?
01:13:17Oh, my girl!
01:13:19You're up, you're up!
01:13:23What?
01:13:30Today, we join in marriage
01:13:33Jeannie Anderson and Wayne Fuji.
01:13:38Who?
01:13:38Wayne, do you have the rings?
01:13:44Hold up.
01:13:45Gotcha.
01:13:45Putting on your dainty little finger.
01:13:49Do you, Wayne Fuji,
01:13:52take Jeannie Anderson
01:13:54to be your loving wife?
01:13:57Hell to the year.
01:13:59I am not afraid.
01:14:03There is strength in change.
01:14:06And do you, Jeannie Anderson,
01:14:09take Wayne Fuji to be your loving husband?
01:14:14I...
01:14:16Wait!
01:14:17Wait!
01:14:19Alice, you're here!
01:14:21Yeah.
01:14:22Wait!
01:14:22To object?
01:14:23No, I'm here to support.
01:14:26I'm sorry I'm late, Mom.
01:14:27That's okay.
01:14:28You're here.
01:14:29That's all that matters.
01:14:30I love you so much.
01:14:31I love you, too.
01:14:32I wouldn't miss this for the world.
01:14:34I mean, how often does my mom get married?
01:14:36I'm not counting the leaves.
01:14:38I'm really sorry that I lied to you both.
01:14:40I, um...
01:14:42No, honey.
01:14:43I'm so sorry I didn't tell you about your dad
01:14:46and for not realizing how much I put on you all those years.
01:14:49Why don't we call it even since I launched Queenie into the river?
01:14:54Um, speaking of...
01:14:57Apparently you can adopt a dog in Buffalo in five minutes.
01:15:00Oh, my goodness!
01:15:02Who is this angel?
01:15:03This is a wedding present and an apology.
01:15:08I have filled out all of the adoption papers and paid all of the fees,
01:15:11so all you have to do is name him.
01:15:14I'm gonna name him Kingy.
01:15:16Okay.
01:15:16Oh, I love him.
01:15:19Thank you, sweetheart.
01:15:19You know me so well.
01:15:21You're welcome.
01:15:21I love you, Mom.
01:15:23Okay.
01:15:24Okay.
01:15:27Honey, what's wrong?
01:15:29I'm sorry, darling, but...
01:15:30Sweetheart, I apologize, but don't you remember at the retreat
01:15:34I told you that I was allergic to doggies?
01:15:36I just thought that was a sick, dark joke.
01:15:40Hold up.
01:15:41Gather yourself, Wayne.
01:15:43Here's the thing.
01:15:44I'm gonna take the Benadryl.
01:15:46I'm gonna take the Claritin.
01:15:47I'm gonna even get the steroids.
01:15:49If I can't get them, I'm gonna find them.
01:15:51Oh, yeah.
01:15:52Because I love you.
01:15:53I love you, and I'll do anything for you.
01:15:54A puppy, a doggy, whatever you want.
01:15:57I love you.
01:15:58Please continue, Cheryl.
01:15:59All righty, then.
01:16:01Jeannie, do you take away the...
01:16:02No, wait a second.
01:16:03I can't.
01:16:03I cannot do this to this man.
01:16:05I love you, honey.
01:16:08I love you, honey.
01:16:08Oh, Kingy, I'm sorry, but I love this human man so much, and clearly he would do anything
01:16:17for me.
01:16:18Mm-hmm.
01:16:18And I'm trying to be more responsible like my daughter.
01:16:22So, Kingy, I'm gonna have to find you a new home.
01:16:25No, no, no.
01:16:26I object.
01:16:28Oh, no.
01:16:28Not to this.
01:16:29I just mean I'll take the dog.
01:16:30Oh, Alice, you don't have to do that.
01:16:32I got it.
01:16:34New Alice, remember?
01:16:35Oh, honey, I'm so proud of you.
01:16:38Look at me.
01:16:39I'm a...
01:16:40I got a dog.
01:16:41Okay.
01:16:42In conclusion, Jeannie Anderson, do you take Wayne Fuji to be your loving husband?
01:16:50I do.
01:16:52I do.
01:16:54I do, I do, I do, I do.
01:16:56I do, I do, I do, I do.
01:16:56I pronounce you husband and wife, you may kiss you.
01:16:59Okay, this way.
01:17:02Woo!
01:17:03Mom!
01:17:06Dream come true!
01:17:07Dream come true!
01:17:08Dream come true!
01:17:09Let's party now!
01:17:11Party!
01:17:12Woo-hoo!
01:17:14Hey, there's my maid of honor.
01:17:16Hey, baby.
01:17:17Hi.
01:17:18Hey!
01:17:18Who invited you?
01:17:23Congratulations, Mom.
01:17:25You look so beautiful.
01:17:27Aw, thank you, honey.
01:17:28Where's Kingy?
01:17:29Oh, um, Aunt Cheryl said she wanted to be taken for a swim on the dance floor.
01:17:34Oh!
01:17:35Yeah.
01:17:39Are you alright?
01:17:41I...
01:17:42I know you didn't really want this for me.
01:17:44Mom, I am so happy for you.
01:17:48Truly.
01:17:49I just...
01:17:51I'm realizing that I want this too.
01:17:55You want a wedding in Buffalo?
01:17:57No.
01:17:58But love.
01:18:00To be with someone who would do anything for me, like Wayne will for you.
01:18:05It...
01:18:06It's really special.
01:18:09And I think I had a shot at it, but I got scared.
01:18:13I don't want to be scared all the time anymore.
01:18:17Wes was pretty special, you know?
01:18:20Yeah, I was.
01:18:23Well...
01:18:24Maybe you'll run into him sometime, and then you never know what will happen.
01:18:30No, I'm pretty sure he hates me.
01:18:33Hmm.
01:18:34I'm not so sure about that.
01:18:42I hired them as the wedding band.
01:18:46What are you waiting for?
01:18:48Go get him.
01:18:49Yeah.
01:18:51Hmm.
01:18:55Hey, I know that I was a jerk, and I said some pretty awful things, but I really, really like
01:19:02you.
01:19:03And that's a little scary for me.
01:19:05That never happens to me because I never let it happen.
01:19:08I don't want to pull back this time with you, so...
01:19:14Would you maybe give me a second chance?
01:19:18We can...
01:19:19See where this thing goes?
01:19:22Yeah, it's a date.
01:19:24Yeah?
01:19:25Yeah.
01:19:27Okay.
01:19:35Woo!
01:19:37Hi, Mom.
01:19:39Yep.
01:19:44Woo!
01:19:45Who is it?
01:19:47It's me, Mom.
01:19:49Woo!
01:19:50Wow!
01:19:51Hi!
01:19:52What happened in there?
01:19:54Oh, honey.
01:19:55Marriage is bliss.
01:19:57Mom, I'm so happy you're happy.
01:19:59Is that Alice?
01:20:01It's Alice, honey.
01:20:03Hey!
01:20:04Hi!
01:20:06Hi!
01:20:07Can I have a moment with you right now?
01:20:09Uh-huh.
01:20:10Yeah.
01:20:10I'm so psyched to be part of your life.
01:20:14Thanks.
01:20:16That's really sweet.
01:20:18I'm really happy to have you in my life.
01:20:20Oh, thank you.
01:20:21It's my Wayne.
01:20:23Really?
01:20:24Yeah.
01:20:25And, um, hey, for what it's worth, I actually think your boozy laundromat is a really good idea.
01:20:32Really?
01:20:33Why don't you come on in?
01:20:35We'll order some grub.
01:20:36We'll hang out.
01:20:37Got a big screen TV.
01:20:39Um, it's getting pretty close to checkout time, and...
01:20:44Um, honey, I know we talked about flying back together.
01:20:49You wanna change the plan?
01:20:51I do.
01:20:52I-I swear.
01:20:52I am gonna work on being more stable.
01:20:55Mom, it's okay.
01:20:55I actually wanna change the plan, too.
01:20:58Uh, you do?
01:20:59Yeah.
01:21:00Um, last night, Wes invited me on tour with the band.
01:21:05Just a couple weeks.
01:21:07But I've never taken a trip that wasn't for work till now.
01:21:11And I wanna do something for me.
01:21:13Yeah.
01:21:14And what about your job?
01:21:15Well, I have my laptop with me, and if they don't like that, I'm...
01:21:20okay with it.
01:21:22Oh, honey, that is so irresponsible.
01:21:25I am so proud of you.
01:21:30I'm gonna make you a promise.
01:21:32I will not put the house on the market until you return.
01:21:36Then we will go through it all together,
01:21:39and we can organize it for whatever your cute little type A-green wants.
01:21:44That really means a lot to me, Mom.
01:21:47Come here, Mom.
01:21:47Oh, come here.
01:21:48Oh, group hug.
01:21:50Okay.
01:21:51Okay.
01:21:52All right.
01:21:52I love you.
01:21:53I love you.
01:21:55I love you.
01:21:57I love you.
01:21:59I love you.
01:22:05You good to go?
01:22:06Yeah.
01:22:08Hello.
01:22:09You ready to go?
01:22:13Hey, Clive.
01:22:15You ready to go?
01:22:17Yep.
01:22:18Okay.
01:22:21Okay.
01:22:21Let's go.
01:22:22All right.
01:22:27So, Rochester's the next stop.
01:22:28What's after that?
01:22:30After that, we play it by ear.
01:22:32Cool.
01:22:32I love that.
01:22:33Just see where the wind takes us.
01:22:35It's killing you, isn't it?
01:22:36100%.
01:22:36So, last night, I actually came up with a potential schedule.
01:22:40It's really loose.
01:22:41This is color-coded by hour.
01:22:43No, no.
01:22:43See, these two hours right here, those are scheduled, unscheduled free time.
01:22:48You're insane.
01:22:49You know that, right?
01:22:50Yeah, I get it from my mom.
01:23:06Bye.
01:23:21I gone on my will種.
01:23:25Food is digital.
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