- 2 days ago
Category
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Short filmTranscript
00:00:28Transcription by CastingWords
00:00:58Transcription by CastingWords
00:01:27Transcription by CastingWords
00:01:30I didn't exactly have girls knocking down my door
00:01:34Before you did
00:01:37Kind of hard when everyone's obsessed with my mums
00:01:41The great Leanne and Anne
00:01:43The lives of the party
00:01:47And I'm just there too
00:01:50The most boring royal in the history of Glitopolis
00:01:53As voted by the people
00:01:55That was a tough day
00:01:58But look at me now
00:02:00No one ever thought they'd see that a Princess Zyra
00:02:02Would have a hot as fuck partner
00:02:05I can't be exiled to the single zone
00:02:07This year's lesbian ball
00:02:09I know we're a bit of an odd match
00:02:11Like you love travelling
00:02:13And danger
00:02:13And partying
00:02:14And I'm scared to go anywhere
00:02:17And of everything
00:02:17And I'd rather stay home
00:02:19And work on my magic tricks
00:02:20But you know what they say
00:02:22Opposites attract
00:02:23You
00:02:24Complete me
00:02:25And I know in my heart
00:02:28We'll be together
00:02:29Forever
00:02:30And ever
00:02:32And ever
00:02:36You're dumped
00:02:36Fuck
00:02:40She's a lesbian
00:02:41She's in space
00:02:44And she's also a princess
00:02:48Oh, and she's very sad
00:02:53Look
00:02:54Maybe if things were different
00:02:56And you were a different person
00:02:57And I was a different person
00:02:59Maybe this could have worked for me
00:03:00But
00:03:01You're
00:03:02You
00:03:04And I'm
00:03:05Me
00:03:06I'm sorry
00:03:07Please stop crying
00:03:09I literally can't
00:03:12Hey, it's okay
00:03:13You'll be alright
00:03:14You are really good with your hands
00:03:17Oh my god
00:03:19Oh
00:03:21Oh
00:03:22Oh
00:03:23Oh
00:03:25Oh
00:03:25I'm so good at that
00:03:28That's my sleight of hand
00:03:32You're smothering me
00:03:33We've only been dating like two weeks
00:03:35And you made this terrifying book
00:03:37Uh
00:03:38No
00:03:39I just thought dating a space princess
00:03:41Would be more
00:03:44Fun
00:03:44I don't want to gay flicks and chill every night
00:03:47I'm sorry
00:03:48And the sorries
00:03:50Always with the sorries
00:03:52Sorry
00:03:52Oh
00:03:53Sorry for
00:03:54Being sorry
00:03:56Can we at least still go to the lesbian ball together?
00:04:00Absolutely not
00:04:00I need to get out of here
00:04:01Goodbye
00:04:02Forever
00:04:04Pretend you saw a smoke bomb
00:04:06And I'm gone
00:04:17Wait, Saira
00:04:18Yeah?
00:04:19You're wearing my jumper
00:04:22Oh
00:04:34Oh man
00:04:36Fuck
00:04:36That's my jumper too
00:04:42You know what?
00:04:43Keep it
00:04:43It can be your birthday present
00:04:45Yay
00:04:46I
00:04:47Will
00:04:48Never
00:04:50Take it off
00:04:53Yeah
00:04:53I gotta get the hell out of here
00:04:55I'm sorry
00:04:56Fuck
00:04:56It's contagious
00:04:57Goodbye forever
00:05:00I'll miss you so much
00:05:05And of course I'll miss you too, royal pussy
00:05:12You always bring the party
00:05:14This hurts me, mother
00:05:15It hurts you
00:05:18Honestly, I can't believe it lasted that long
00:05:22We told you the scrapbook was too much
00:05:28Okay, so that start was pretty shithouse
00:05:31But welcome to
00:05:34Let's a cool drum roll
00:05:36Our birthday party
00:05:40For Saira
00:05:45We can't believe she's 22 today
00:05:4823
00:05:50We can't believe she's 23 today
00:05:53Which means it's that time of the year where we see if she can finally summon her royal labrice
00:06:01Thinks you'll fail again
00:06:03Is the sky rainbow?
00:06:06For thousands of years, the Clotopian royal bloodline has been born with the ability to summon one of the most
00:06:15powerful weapons known to l-l-lesbian kind
00:06:20The Labrice
00:06:22Let us now turn to the ancient scriptures of Wikipedia
00:06:28This all began back on Earth
00:06:31It says
00:06:31In the 1970s, the Labrice was adopted by the lesbian community as a feminist symbol representing strength and self-sufficiency
00:06:41The summonings happen first try for us
00:06:43But you know what they say
00:06:45Six times the charm
00:06:47Try not to do that overthinking thing you do
00:06:50Wait, what do you mean by that?
00:06:51Let the summoning begin!
00:06:53Listen
00:06:54Listen
00:06:56Listen
00:06:58Listen
00:06:59Listen
00:07:00Listen
00:07:01Listen
00:07:02Listen
00:07:02It's happening
00:07:03Listen
00:07:06Listen
00:07:07Listen
00:07:09Listen
00:07:09That's fine
00:07:11Now
00:07:15Oh
00:07:16Oh, for fuck's sake
00:07:17Oh, sweetie, that was really tough
00:07:22Especially for us
00:07:23It is so hard to watch you struggle
00:07:27But let's not have it ruin a good party
00:07:29Who wants to see us dance?
00:07:31I do
00:07:31I want to see us dancing
00:07:32On it! On it! On it! On it! On it! On it! On it! On it!
00:07:35We're dancing!
00:07:36Yep! Yep!
00:07:37On it! On it! On it! On it! On it! On it! favorite book!
00:08:07Who else can I talk to? I'm lost.
00:08:13When you left, you took everything with you.
00:08:18The absence of you is everywhere I look.
00:08:23It's like a huge hole has been punched through my chest.
00:08:33But in a way, I'm glad.
00:08:35The pain is my only reminder that you were real.
00:09:05Kiki the Destroyer.
00:09:07For all your bounty hunting needs.
00:09:11Couldn't you just watch me, like, all day?
00:09:15Kapow.
00:09:19Fuck, I'm good.
00:09:25Um...
00:09:25Yeah, no, this is my room.
00:09:28Take them!
00:09:29Not me!
00:09:30Oh, no, no!
00:09:34No, no, no, no!
00:09:35Please!
00:09:36I'm too hot to die!
00:09:38Oh, no, no!
00:09:51What the fuck?
00:09:53Where am I?
00:09:55Oh, what is this?
00:10:00welcome to our cave that is our toxic homebrew who the hell are you who are we we're the straight
00:10:10white malians who oh come on are you serious the straight white malians we used to be the most
00:10:20powerful beings in the whole universe who yeah of course everyone has forgotten about us
00:10:26everyone you stripped our ancestors of all their power and you you left our god for dead and we
00:10:34were exiled to this man cave but we've had a gut full of being pushed us bloody side
00:10:41i'm getting upset you don't want to see us upset right now oh you don't want to see us get
00:10:47bloody
00:10:49it's not good let me guess you want to rule the world again no wrong incorrect then what do you
00:10:57want from me you this isn't about you you're just the bait what you see we can't get the hot
00:11:06chicks
00:11:07anymore so for thousands of years we've been slaving over building this chick magnet
00:11:13but larry fucked it up well i don't hear you complaining when you eat these delicious fresh
00:11:18eggs every morning your eggs are shit you know those eggs are shit what are you gonna feed the
00:11:23chicks when we get them anyway shut up i'm gonna feed the chicks oh no wait that makes a lot
00:11:28of
00:11:28sense thank you anyways long story short we ended up buying a new swedish chick magnet online but when
00:11:35it arrived what did we discover the bloody battery's not included oh hate that yeah i do hate that
00:11:43and according to the manual the battery is princess syra of clitopolis's royal labrise
00:11:52what the fuck that seems really specific it's so stupid especially because we can't get past that
00:12:01dumb safety bubble protecting gay space and that little princess is some sort of weird shut in it
00:12:07says she literally never goes anywhere literally never but according to the manual there is
00:12:14one thing that could lure her out of gay space
00:12:30kiki finally wait oh my god where are you syra you gotta help me i've been captured by these
00:12:37things called straight white millions who oh fuck you now listen princess we need to royal labrise
00:12:45what why the super tough cool dudes does so if you don't want us to drown your beloved kiki in
00:12:50our
00:12:51toxic homebrew you will bring it here to the worst most dangerous place in the universe
00:12:59but syra please tell me you actually have the labrise
00:13:07oh yeah totally i've got it yeah it's not on me right now but i definitely have it oh thank
00:13:12god
00:13:13great great bring it here in the next 24 hours and come alone or lover girl is going down
00:13:18or should i say going drown
00:13:25going drown
00:13:32kiki
00:13:33kiki
00:13:36kiki
00:13:37kiki
00:13:44kiki
00:13:55kiki
00:13:58Why did you do that?
00:14:01You're never summoning that lebris.
00:14:04The only royal to fail at the simple tradition.
00:14:10Your disappointment to your moms.
00:14:13To everyone.
00:14:17He just turned because of you.
00:14:20If you weren't broken, you would have your lebris.
00:14:52You're welcome.
00:15:02I can't believe Kiki was with her.
00:15:05Sarah sucks.
00:15:06How can you be a princess and not even like to party?
00:15:09Sarah still sucks.
00:15:10I heard she's straight.
00:15:12Ew.
00:15:18You all need to give her a break.
00:15:21No wonder she can't summon her lebris.
00:15:23She should come to my club.
00:15:25I can help.
00:15:27Blade, your resident weapons expert.
00:15:30Kisses, motherfucker.
00:15:36Now it is cool, cool, cool, cool, cool, cool, yeah, yeah, to be queer, to be queer.
00:15:51Uh-oh.
00:15:53Sarah!
00:15:55We left some food outside, okay?
00:15:57It's a banh mi.
00:15:58Also, honey, we hate to bring it up, but...
00:16:01We put you down a single for the lesbian bowl tomorrow night.
00:16:11No need.
00:16:12I'll be going with Kiki.
00:16:14Oh, thank God she's taken you back.
00:16:17Oh, my goodness.
00:16:18That is a relief.
00:16:19Oh, it's just so, so sad to be single.
00:16:22Well, we can only imagine it is.
00:16:24Never done it.
00:16:25Never want to.
00:16:26Like, everyone can see it, because there's no one standing next to you.
00:16:30And when someone's single, you just imagine them in a food court, by themselves.
00:16:35Eating alone.
00:16:37Chatting to the cleaner, who doesn't even want to talk to you.
00:16:41She's got her own life.
00:16:42She's not bothered with you.
00:16:43You look sad.
00:16:45Sad, sad, sad.
00:16:46Okay, well, we'll pop the two of you on the list.
00:16:49So glad you've got a girlfriend.
00:16:51And you're not alone.
00:16:56Looking for an awesome spaceship
00:17:00To take me where I need
00:17:05To go
00:17:07Oh
00:17:08Um
00:17:15Cause if I had an awesome spaceship
00:17:19I just might make it
00:17:23Whoa
00:17:25Awesome
00:17:26Where I need
00:17:30To go
00:17:39Hey, who's there?
00:18:05Who's here?
00:18:09Come on
00:18:10Huh?
00:18:16Oh no!
00:18:29I thought I was never gonna get off Planet of the Lesbos.
00:18:33Who's there?
00:18:34It's me, the ship.
00:18:37You don't want to know how long I've been trapped down there.
00:18:41The things I've seen.
00:18:44What's your name, sir?
00:18:45Um, Saira.
00:18:47That sounds like a girl's name.
00:18:50I am a girl.
00:18:52What? Girls can't be pilots.
00:18:56Yeah.
00:18:57This was a mistake. Take me back, please.
00:19:00Here's what I'll do. I'll be your temporary ship.
00:19:02I'll drop you off at a nail salon, and we'll go our separate ways.
00:19:07So, Saira, where are you from?
00:19:09Oocletopolis?
00:19:10Yeah, but like, where are you from?
00:19:14The palace?
00:19:15No, no, no. Where are you really from?
00:19:19Well, my cultural heritage is half Qatopian and half Indian.
00:19:25Namaste.
00:19:30Hey, um, please turn around.
00:19:33You don't understand. I've never been outside of the-
00:19:36Oh, God, that was an awful night.
00:19:39I hope that Shetland pony survived.
00:19:41Oh, my God, this fucking song again.
00:19:45See my face, I'm the safety bubble
00:19:49That stops all the trouble getting into gay space.
00:19:56Hey, Daddy.
00:19:58Huh?
00:19:58I am safety bubble.
00:20:01Fierce protector of gay space.
00:20:04They say space is a vacuum, but nothing sucks like me.
00:20:06What are you doing?
00:20:07Oh, let us out of here.
00:20:09Why the hell would you want to go out there?
00:20:11It's straight.
00:20:12Also, it's like way dangerous or whatever.
00:20:14Or as they say in German.
00:20:16Danger is my middle name, baby.
00:20:20Yo, how did you even get in here?
00:20:21You can definitely leave.
00:20:24No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
00:20:26Yes!
00:20:27Sweet, freaking beautiful, isn't it?
00:20:32Oh, no.
00:20:34Babe, what's for dinner?
00:20:36Chicken.
00:20:38Oh, no.
00:20:40This one's for my bodacious baby.
00:20:44Baby girl, let's go on adventures to the day we've indentures
00:20:50So crawl, stay young.
00:20:53I know you're the one.
00:21:00I love you, baby girl.
00:21:02That's worse than I ever imagined!
00:21:07Approximately 23 hours left.
00:21:12Okay, okay.
00:21:13Now there are going to be a lot of really hot chicks coming in here soon
00:21:16and we need to learn how to charm the bloody heck out of them.
00:21:21Now, Josh is our expert speaker for today.
00:21:24Hi.
00:21:24He was once successful in getting a woman's number.
00:21:28Yeah.
00:21:28Now, we don't know what happened after that.
00:21:30We called the number and the line was dead.
00:21:33I don't know if Josh mistook it down.
00:21:35No, phone companies.
00:21:36Phone companies sort of going, maybe playing tricky business.
00:21:41Maybe doing...
00:21:42Tricky business.
00:21:42Maybe tricky business was going on.
00:21:44Some sort of...
00:21:45Tricky business.
00:21:45Some sort of tricky business was going on with the phone companies.
00:21:48The number didn't work.
00:21:50Yeah.
00:21:50Obviously, phone companies playing tricky business.
00:21:54Still, huge achievement.
00:21:56And now Josh is going to come and he's going to tell everyone here
00:21:59what you know about talking to chicks.
00:22:03Alright.
00:22:04Gents.
00:22:04Boys.
00:22:05Thanks for having me.
00:22:06Josh!
00:22:07Show of hands.
00:22:08Who wants to meet a chick?
00:22:09Me.
00:22:10Hands up if you don't know the process of how to go about that.
00:22:14Who wants to walk out of here today with chicks in hand?
00:22:17Fuck yeah!
00:22:19Now, take note boys, alright?
00:22:22Act like you're listening and then interject over the top of her.
00:22:26That gets the chicks ticking.
00:22:29Don't let them get a word in edgeways with me.
00:22:31Don't let them get a word in edgeways.
00:22:34Let them know how much Reddit karma you have as well.
00:22:37I have a lot of opinions on Marvel movies.
00:22:40Would they be interested in them?
00:22:41They'll love that!
00:22:43Okay, firstly, if you want a chick to like you,
00:22:46you need to connect with them,
00:22:48ask questions,
00:22:49and listen.
00:22:52No matter how boring the answers are.
00:22:54And secondly, let me go now and no one will get hurt.
00:22:58But if you don't, when I get myself loose,
00:23:01I will kill every single one of you.
00:23:11What did she say?
00:23:15Please take me back, this was a mistake.
00:23:18What?
00:23:18Aren't you excited to get your nails done?
00:23:21I don't want to get my nails done.
00:23:22I have to keep them short anyway.
00:23:24Oh God!
00:23:25Well where can I drop you then?
00:23:26Pilates?
00:23:28Supermarket?
00:23:29Why did you even bored me if you don't want to go anywhere?
00:23:32Well, I thought...
00:23:34Come on!
00:23:35You can't stay with me, and I'm not taking it back.
00:23:37So pick somewhere.
00:23:39Chop chop!
00:23:40S Club?
00:23:41I can't hear you.
00:23:44Do you know where S Club 17 is?
00:23:47The party hub!
00:23:49Now you're talking!
00:23:52I can't remember how to get there though.
00:23:58I have a good feeling about this way.
00:24:01Aww.
00:24:03Such a strong feeling about this way.
00:24:07Don't even think about it.
00:24:10Now, what takes you to S Club 17?
00:24:13I need to find a way to summon my royal labrisse.
00:24:16Oh yeah!
00:24:17Say no more.
00:24:18I know that part of the vagina.
00:24:20And then I need to go to the worst, most dangerous place in the universe.
00:24:25What? Are you mental?
00:24:26Mental?
00:24:27I don't think people say that anymore.
00:24:29I'll take you to S Club 17.
00:24:31But no further.
00:24:33But my girlfriend is there.
00:24:34What the fuck is your friend doing there?
00:24:37She's in trouble.
00:24:38And she's my girlfriend.
00:24:40Yeah, like a girl who's a friend.
00:24:42Like, my partner.
00:24:43I'm literally from Glitopolis.
00:24:46Oh, yeah.
00:24:48She used to be my girlfriend, at least.
00:24:51Wait, so she's your ex?
00:24:53Well, technically, yes.
00:24:56But maybe if I can save her...
00:24:58Oh God, this is pathetic.
00:25:07Here I go.
00:25:10Leaving everything I know.
00:25:14Cause I would go to the edge of space for you.
00:25:19Just to hear you say you love me too.
00:25:24I'm so scared of being alone.
00:25:27Don't wanna end up on my own.
00:25:29Live my whole life on a throne.
00:25:31Now head into the great unknown.
00:25:33Fuck!
00:25:34What am I doing?
00:25:36What am I doing?
00:25:37Oh, no.
00:25:40But here I go.
00:25:44Here I go.
00:25:46Leaving everything I know.
00:25:50Cause I would...
00:25:52Oh, hello!
00:25:54No one actually goes the speed limit, Pooftop.
00:25:57You definitely can't say that anymore.
00:26:04What is your problem?
00:26:07Oh, this guy's a bit rude.
00:26:10What do you think you're doing?
00:26:11Sorry!
00:26:12Fusion me!
00:26:13Fusion me!
00:26:14I was distracted for not even one second.
00:26:18You have gone and killed me.
00:26:20I am a man and I have rights.
00:26:22My old pilots were right.
00:26:24And you just cannot trust with-
00:26:35I'm hurt!
00:26:36I'm hurt!
00:26:37Is that what we're gonna do?
00:26:39We're gonna die out here.
00:26:41I told you not to try.
00:26:42Sorry.
00:26:43You are covering my insurance premiums, okay?
00:26:45From now on!
00:26:47Maybe there's moon crystals on this...
00:26:50Moon?
00:26:52Even if there was!
00:26:53We don't have anyone capable, brave, or strong enough to find them.
00:26:59Yeah.
00:27:01Sorry.
00:27:01Sweet, sweet freedom.
00:27:03Only to get stuck somewhere else.
00:27:07Shitty!
00:27:15What if I went?
00:27:17You?!
00:27:19Yeah, right.
00:27:20Well, just sitting here isn't going to help.
00:27:23How bad could it-
00:27:30Bee!
00:27:31Ooh!
00:27:38Oh, thank God.
00:27:42It's gone!
00:27:43Oh.
00:27:45If you'd have been here two years ago.
00:27:50It's just me.
00:27:53I'm gonna go over this way.
00:27:56There's nothing here.
00:28:03You found a hole.
00:28:07Make a friend lost a friend.
00:28:09Make a friend lost a friend.
00:28:10Hmm.
00:28:15Huh?
00:28:17One single moon crystal, look at it shine.
00:28:24I want that moon crystal to be mine.
00:28:32I want that moon crystal to be mine.
00:28:34Oh, moon crystal.
00:28:38Moon crystal.
00:28:42Moon crystal.
00:28:42Oh, moon crystal.
00:28:46Yes.
00:28:49So shiny, right?
00:28:59AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
00:29:00Please don't hurt me!
00:29:05Whoa, do I look like I'm going to hurt you?
00:29:11Oh, the goth thing?
00:29:13Oh, it's just a look. I'm not going to hurt you.
00:29:16I thought you could hear me singing that moon crystal song.
00:29:19What?
00:29:20Listen, I crashed my ship, and I need this moon crystal.
00:29:24My girlfriends, well, technically ex-girlfriends, life depends on it.
00:29:29My goodness, you've got a lot on your plate.
00:29:31Look, I'm just sorry for scaring you.
00:29:33Oh, sorry.
00:29:35Why are you sorry?
00:29:37I don't know.
00:29:41Enough apologies.
00:29:51I'm so glad you're here.
00:29:53I came to this moon to write my solo album, but I fell down a hole.
00:29:57I fell down a hole, too.
00:29:59We have so much in common.
00:30:02I'm Willow.
00:30:04I'm Princess Zyra?
00:30:06I'm Clitopolis.
00:30:09Whoa, a princess.
00:30:11Also, I hear that place is famously hard to find.
00:30:14It's actually not, if you know what you're doing.
00:30:17Well, maybe you could show me the way sometime.
00:30:23I mean, if we can ever figure out how to get out of here.
00:30:27Let me tell you, I've been down here a while, and there's no obvious way out.
00:30:33I'm not sure if this will help, but what if we use that?
00:30:42I did not see that.
00:30:44I did not see that.
00:30:49Gross, what is this?
00:30:51I feel like I should know what that is.
00:30:54Weird.
00:30:54It wasn't here before you broke the crystal.
00:30:59Great.
00:31:01So this is my fault.
00:31:06It's okay.
00:31:07Look, these things happen.
00:31:09Yeah, let me help you.
00:31:10Why is everything always so hard?
00:31:13You are so emo.
00:31:17I love it.
00:31:18Why do they think a reject like me could do anything?
00:31:23Hey, hey, it's gonna be okay.
00:31:25Why is it not targeting you?
00:31:27I don't know.
00:31:28Wow, I'm really grateful for that.
00:31:31You're like, annoyingly positive.
00:31:35Thanks for saying that.
00:31:37Wait, maybe it's responding to me being negative about myself.
00:31:43Gloom goo, do-do-do-do-do.
00:31:46Gloom goo, do-do-do-do.
00:31:50If you give it bad vibes, it will leave you alive.
00:32:00Sorry, I remember now.
00:32:02We sang a song about this.
00:32:04It's this incredibly dangerous sentient goo that feeds on bad vibes.
00:32:07So I should just say something positive about myself, right?
00:32:13Great idea.
00:32:16Um...
00:32:17Come on, quick.
00:32:19I...
00:32:21Um...
00:32:22I don't know.
00:32:26You don't know?
00:32:29Sarah?
00:32:31Sarah?
00:32:35I can write a song about basically anything.
00:32:39I did a great job coordinating my spikes and chains today.
00:32:43I have the voice of an angel.
00:32:45My eyebrows look great.
00:32:46I'm awesome at guitar.
00:32:47My public speaking has never been better.
00:32:49I'm ambitious and I'm brave.
00:32:50And if I was a Pokemon, I'd be a freaking Megasoo.
00:32:53I'm that cute!
00:33:08No, the crystal!
00:33:11Just forget it!
00:33:12Keep going!
00:33:13Mr. Shepard!
00:33:15I needed that crystal!
00:33:17You, I couldn't do it!
00:33:18Stop!
00:33:19You're embarrassing it!
00:33:23It's gonna blow!
00:33:24What did you do?
00:33:26I'm sorry.
00:33:27Please tell me you got the moon crystal.
00:33:30Yes.
00:33:30Oh, well, that's a relief.
00:33:32But then I lost it.
00:33:34I knew you couldn't do it, you idiot!
00:33:38Now we're completely fucked!
00:33:42Oh, man.
00:33:43It's a shame we can't use that one.
00:33:49Where to next?
00:33:51I'm driving.
00:33:52Where the fuck did she come from?
00:33:55They.
00:33:55There's more than one?
00:33:58Approximately 18 hours left before...
00:34:05Kiki dies.
00:34:07Okay, so just remember when your permanent is tapped,
00:34:10you can't tap that card again until it's been untapped.
00:34:13And only when your turn begins,
00:34:16when your turn begins,
00:34:18then you can untap your tapped cards
00:34:20so they can be used again.
00:34:22Do you understand?
00:34:24Oh, and there are different phases,
00:34:26each with their own set of rules.
00:34:27So the beginning phase rules...
00:34:29Please!
00:34:30Stop!
00:34:31If you don't stop, I'm going to make you stop.
00:34:34I mean it!
00:34:34I really am going to get myself loose any minute now.
00:34:39Why can't you chicks ever like what we like?
00:34:43Now, about the beginning phase...
00:34:44Ooh, yes, the beginning phase!
00:34:47Ah!
00:34:49Wait, so you need this Laprice thing to save Kiki,
00:34:52and your only hope is that this blade person
00:34:54that you found on the future net and know nothing about
00:34:56will be able to help?
00:34:59Yeah, I know.
00:35:00It's such a good plan!
00:35:04Is it, though?
00:35:07Hey, be careful!
00:35:09Go straight, go straight!
00:35:11Typical!
00:35:12I'll have you know I'm actually bisexual.
00:35:14A bisexual's really a thing.
00:35:17Where did you find this thing?
00:35:19The 21st century?
00:35:20Yeah, that is where I'm from!
00:35:24Oh.
00:35:25Hey, thanks for saving me back there.
00:35:28Oh, no!
00:35:29Thank you!
00:35:30That was a thrill!
00:35:31Oh, besides, I might not have found that ladder without you.
00:35:35I'm not super observant.
00:35:37Or book smart.
00:35:38Or street smart.
00:35:39Oh, I'm sorry.
00:35:41Why?
00:35:42It's not a bad thing.
00:35:43I'm just smart in other ways.
00:35:45Like, I'm super creative.
00:35:47That's right, you're a songwriter?
00:35:49Trying to be.
00:35:50You see...
00:35:52Oh, oh, oh, you better not sing it.
00:35:57I was in a gay-pop band
00:36:03We were in high demand
00:36:09We'd dance and sing and sing and dance
00:36:13Our life was great at a glance
00:36:18But really, we were prisoners of gay-pop
00:36:23Forced to dance and sing non-stop
00:36:27But somehow to me, it all felt wrong
00:36:31I dreamed to write not shit songs
00:36:35So I decided I would break free
00:36:43Become the songwriter
00:36:45I always wanted to be
00:36:50Mmm
00:37:00Wow.
00:37:00Fuck my life.
00:37:02They never used to let me play my own songs
00:37:04They said they were too...
00:37:07Indie
00:37:09Now, I finally get to figure out my own music
00:37:12Separate from the group
00:37:13I thought I'd be able to write songs on the moon
00:37:15But let me tell you
00:37:17There was not a lot to write about
00:37:19But I'm hoping hanging with you will inspire some songs
00:37:23I mean, an intergalactic space quest to save your ex
00:37:28Oh, wow
00:37:29Oh, I'm actually really boring
00:37:33I don't think you are
00:37:38No, I think she is
00:37:40She really is
00:37:41Look, I love the emo vibe
00:37:44But you must have something positive to say about yourself
00:37:47Right?
00:37:51What's something you're good at?
00:37:54Well
00:37:56I'm not bad at magic
00:37:59That's so cool!
00:38:00I'd love to see a trick
00:38:02No, you wouldn't
00:38:04I... yeah, I would
00:38:05Pick a card
00:38:08Duh
00:38:09Ooh
00:38:10Okay, so
00:38:11We're going to use your card
00:38:13The Ace of Hearts
00:38:13And put it in the middle of the deck
00:38:15Yeah
00:38:15Because it's one of the only cards
00:38:17That acts like a helium balloon
00:38:18If I push it the whole way in
00:38:20Uh-huh
00:38:20Like this
00:38:21And snap my fingers
00:38:22Did you see it come back to the top?
00:38:24What the freak?
00:38:25We'll do it again
00:38:26We'll take it
00:38:28We'll put it in the middle like that
00:38:30Now, if I don't snap my fingers
00:38:32The card doesn't come to the top
00:38:35But if I either snap
00:38:36Or cover it
00:38:37Just for a second
00:38:38Did you see it come back to the top?
00:38:40Oh my god!
00:38:42We'll try this one more time
00:38:43I'll take it
00:38:44Just like this
00:38:44In fact, um
00:38:46I might use your hand for this
00:38:49You can press it
00:38:49The whole way in
00:38:50Into the middle
00:38:52Here we go
00:38:54Oh
00:38:57Huh?
00:38:58What did?
00:38:59How
00:38:59Wait
00:39:00Oh my god
00:39:01That's so cool
00:39:02You're really good
00:39:06No one's ever stayed
00:39:07For a whole trick before
00:39:08Well
00:39:10They're missing out
00:39:22What do you guys think
00:39:23About the sex scene
00:39:24In blue is the warmest color
00:39:36I fell down a hole
00:39:42And so did you
00:39:46What a silly thing
00:39:51For us to do
00:39:55But we made it out
00:39:57Somehow
00:39:58Take a look at us
00:40:01Right now
00:40:02Oh, Skyrot and me
00:40:04Zoom in through the galaxy
00:40:08There's nowhere I'd rather be
00:40:15Ooh, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do,
00:40:18do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do,
00:40:21do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do,
00:40:21do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do,
00:40:21do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do,
00:40:23do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do
00:40:48All right, here we are, as Club 17.
00:40:51This is where that lady who can help you find your laparist will be.
00:40:54You mean we have to go in there?
00:41:01Yeah.
00:41:02Not looking like this we weren't.
00:41:05It's montage time, baby!
00:41:09What?
00:41:13Oh, I'm good with what I've got on.
00:41:15Come on, you can't go in there like that!
00:41:17But Kiki gave this to me.
00:41:18Seriously?
00:41:19What's so great about this Kiki?
00:41:22Well, she's just, like, really fucking hot.
00:41:32Wait, is that seriously it?
00:41:35It's just, there's only one!
00:41:39Kiki the Destroyer!
00:41:41No one ever gave me a chance, but she did.
00:41:45And being with her was like getting the keys to this better life.
00:41:51Without her, I'm like nothing.
00:41:57You know, that's kind of how I felt after I left the group.
00:42:01But you know what made me feel better?
00:42:06A makeover!
00:42:07Come on!
00:42:08It's time to make you fucking hot, too!
00:42:10Not that you aren't already.
00:42:11I mean, that came out wrong.
00:42:16Uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh, mm-hmm.
00:42:21Ah!
00:42:25Sorry!
00:42:27Uh, Willow?
00:42:29Sorry, sorry.
00:42:34Wow, wow!
00:42:35Wow, wow!
00:42:41It's perfect!
00:42:44Perfect!
00:42:52What did you do?
00:42:53Take off-
00:42:54I took off the jumper.
00:42:56Mmm-hmm.
00:43:09Okay, I'll beam you over now.
00:43:11Do you remember how to get back?
00:43:12Um, yeah, I'm pretty sure.
00:43:14You sound unsure.
00:43:16Okay, let me explain again.
00:43:18Thanks so much, but I think we got it.
00:43:20The first three times you told us.
00:43:22Oh, you say that now, but it can be pretty easy to get confused and mixed up, especially
00:43:26if you're a lady, or whatever you are, and, you know, not used to tech stuff.
00:43:31Honestly, I reckon we got this.
00:43:33Just one more time.
00:43:35What you need to do is get up the remote beam tracker and press the big button.
00:43:41Oh, fuck my life.
00:43:46Dad's on!
00:43:47Dad's on talking and talking!
00:43:50I can't believe I did that!
00:43:54I love this way!
00:43:55Oh, God!
00:43:58I'm on my side!
00:44:01I play!
00:44:03This is my club!
00:44:05Oh, man!
00:44:06It's gonna be on my way!
00:44:09Can I see me?
00:44:10Okay, let me see you back!
00:44:11We both say hi!
00:44:13But how will we get into the airbag?
00:44:17What is she actually done with the wonderhill?
00:44:19Give me it!
00:44:20Okay!
00:44:20Give me a bye-bye!
00:44:21and I'll get pineapple.
00:44:24Right.
00:44:26We can do this if we're together.
00:44:30No photos, no photos.
00:44:32This is VIP.
00:44:35Willow?
00:44:57Willow dissed you.
00:44:59Your plans are stupid.
00:45:02The light doesn't want to help you.
00:45:06You will always be broken.
00:45:09You should just give up.
00:45:15We need to talk.
00:45:18About Ryan!
00:45:24I swear he's cheating on me with Stephanie.
00:45:28And he's totally gaslighting me.
00:45:31Like, why would he post all of those selfies with her?
00:45:34And, you know, whatevs if that's just the vibe.
00:45:37But, like, don't tell me I'm crazy.
00:45:39That's how things ended the last time.
00:45:49So, like, I'm... I'm not crazy, right?
00:45:54Right.
00:45:55What?
00:45:55Thanks for agreeing.
00:45:57So, yeah.
00:45:58He just always puts himself before me and makes me feel like a loser.
00:46:06Ryan!
00:46:08Ryan!
00:46:09Ryan!
00:46:10You shouldn't let him make you feel so terrible!
00:46:12Why do you let him do that?
00:46:14He's just, like, really fucking hot!
00:46:19I just... I can't believe he likes me.
00:46:25Huh.
00:46:27Surely there's lots to love.
00:46:34Well, I do listen a lot when he's talking to me about his video game.
00:46:39I don't even... I don't know what's going on in there.
00:46:41But he seems really excited.
00:46:43So...
00:46:44He's telling me about AK-47.
00:46:46I don't know what that is.
00:46:47But it makes him happy.
00:46:49And I'm really good at shoplifting.
00:46:52It sounds like this Ryan doesn't appreciate how great you are.
00:47:00Oh, my God!
00:47:01You're right!
00:47:02Thanks, babes!
00:47:03I needed to hear that.
00:47:05It's wild to think I won't remember any of this in the morning
00:47:08and we'll never see each other ever again.
00:47:09You know what?
00:47:11You're right!
00:47:11Screw him!
00:47:13I'm great!
00:47:14You're like the wisest, coolest, prettiest person I've ever been.
00:47:19You fucking rock, girl!
00:47:23I can't piss you in my bed.
00:47:26Hey, Blake!
00:47:28I need to speak to you!
00:47:30Please?
00:47:31What?
00:47:32I said...
00:47:33I need to speak to you!
00:47:36Please!
00:47:37What?
00:47:37I said...
00:47:38I'll come down!
00:47:42I'm coming down!
00:47:45I'm coming down!
00:47:46I'm coming down!
00:47:46It's a fucking budget for a piece of shit!
00:47:55Well, hello.
00:47:58Hi!
00:47:59Um...
00:48:00How's it going?
00:48:02I'm...
00:48:02Princess Zyra from, um...
00:48:05I know who you are.
00:48:06Ah, cool!
00:48:07Yeah!
00:48:08Yeah!
00:48:08Well, yeah, I saw on the future net that you might be able to help me summon my royal labrisse.
00:48:13Do you think you can just come into my club, march into the VIP area, make me come down from
00:48:21my throne, and expect me to just help you summon your labrisse?
00:48:25If that's what you think, you would be...
00:48:29Absolutely right!
00:48:32I'm so excited you're here!
00:48:35Princess Zyra, it would be my honor to help you out, darling.
00:48:41Oh!
00:48:41Oh my god, really?
00:48:43Thank you!
00:48:45Get up, you little sweaty bitch!
00:48:49You know, we're actually not so different, Princess Zyra.
00:48:52Really?
00:48:53I mean, my parents aren't queens or anything.
00:48:57But they are renowned psychologists.
00:49:00And ooh, girl, when people talk shit about me!
00:49:04I tried for the longest time to fit in and be the psychological professional my parents wished for.
00:49:11But, I realized, if there's no room for you to be yourself...
00:49:17Fuck it!
00:49:18Go and make it yourself, girl!
00:49:20I finally followed my real passion.
00:49:23Drag?
00:49:24Weapons!
00:49:25They love the drag, but the weapons, they said.
00:49:29Blade, your behavior is very concerning.
00:49:32But like, don't call your kid Blade and expect them not to be into blades, right?
00:49:38Speaking of blades, your labrice.
00:49:41I'll tell you what's causing you trouble.
00:49:42As with all metaphysical weapons, the key to unlocking your labrice is a mental one.
00:49:48The wiring is all there.
00:49:49You just need to make the right connections.
00:49:52So, I'm not... broken?
00:49:54Not at all!
00:49:56And luckily, I happen to know a thing or two about psychology.
00:50:00Now, let Mama help you find your labrice.
00:50:03You ready?
00:50:04Mm-hmm.
00:50:06Okay?
00:50:07Close your eyes.
00:50:10This is safe, right?
00:50:12Of course!
00:50:14We're only meditating.
00:50:18I want you to take a deep breath in...
00:50:24and out.
00:50:40Now, bags, it might feel like you're not in control of your own mind, but your subconscious is actually trying
00:50:48to protect you in a roundabout kind of way.
00:50:50And a saboteur, all that shit.
00:50:53But it's only as powerful as you let it be.
00:50:57Now, look around at your surroundings.
00:50:59What do you notice?
00:51:03Reach out and touch the door.
00:51:05Feel the handle.
00:51:07Feel its smoothness.
00:51:09That's right, Brad.
00:51:11Remember, you're the boss.
00:51:13Breathe in...
00:51:16and out.
00:51:19At your own pace, hold the handle firmly...
00:51:23and pull.
00:51:27Oh!
00:51:28Mm-hmm.
00:51:30Oh!
00:51:33Oh!
00:51:42Oh!
00:51:48Oh!
00:51:50Oh!
00:51:52Oh!
00:51:52Oh!
00:51:54Oh!
00:51:55Oh!
00:51:55Oh!
00:51:56Oh!
00:51:58Oh!
00:51:58Oh...
00:51:59Wait!
00:52:00Saira...
00:52:02I want to hang out with you.
00:52:06Just kidding!
00:52:07I ditched you, because you...
00:52:09Bomi.
00:52:41I swear...
00:52:42Why do you cry?
00:52:55Can't you just stay here with me today?
00:52:58We can't.
00:52:59We'll be late for our royal orgy, sweetie.
00:53:07Can I show you my magic show now?
00:53:10Not now, Sarah. We're gonna be late for our own burlesque show.
00:53:13Much cooler than magic.
00:53:14You should do burlesque instead.
00:53:17I'm ten.
00:53:20Wanna come over after school, maybe?
00:53:23Will the queens be there?
00:53:25No.
00:53:27They're away.
00:53:29Sorry, I can't.
00:53:33I'm not gonna go any more or do the queens.
00:53:39Or what did we do wrong with these.
00:53:42Can't ask.
00:53:43Wait.count
00:53:43send away. One
00:53:49more time ooh.
00:53:50Oh, my God.
00:54:20It's not ours!
00:54:23But it's...
00:54:25You must look for it!
00:54:31Yes, I am!
00:54:50It's not ours!
00:54:52Just...
00:54:54No!
00:55:12No!
00:55:13No!
00:55:15No!
00:55:15No!
00:55:16No!
00:55:17No!
00:55:17No!
00:55:18No!
00:55:18No!
00:55:19No!
00:55:26Yes! Finally! Yes! Yes! Yes!
00:55:30Yoink.
00:55:31Yes?
00:55:32I'll take that.
00:55:34Huh?
00:55:36Finally! LaBreeze is mine! All mine!
00:55:43I can't believe you fell for it, you basic little bitch!
00:55:46Wait, I thought you wanted to help me.
00:55:48Nah.
00:55:50I can't believe you didn't see that.
00:55:55But I need it.
00:55:57Not when you're dead!
00:56:01Time to christen this beautiful blade.
00:56:18Oh my!
00:56:20Oh my!
00:56:21Whoopsies!
00:56:22Finally found you!
00:56:23Sorry I took so long, it took me ages to find the pineapple.
00:56:26What's it for?
00:56:28Oh!
00:56:30Oh, hey! You found the LaBreeze there!
00:56:38Okay, so Blade is not cool!
00:56:40Yeah, she's trying to steal my LaBreeze!
00:56:42Oh, hell no!
00:56:48What are you gonna do?
00:56:50Fight me with a pineapple?
00:56:52Oh, it all makes sense now!
00:57:00Oh, what the fuck?!
00:57:03Ah!
00:57:05Oh no!
00:57:16Have you ever used an axe before?
00:57:23Ha! Even with that beautiful weapon, you can't defend yourself against a pineapple.
00:57:29You're a joke.
00:57:33No! What are you doing to it?
00:57:36No!
00:57:37Stop!
00:57:38You bitch!
00:57:46Yep, that's how you use it.
00:57:49Now who's a joke? Bebeach.
00:58:06Hey. Welcome back.
00:58:08Is she okay? Is she awake?
00:58:10Yes, she's okay. You can stop freaking out now.
00:58:13I wasn't freaking out. You were. I don't care.
00:58:17I beamed us back here after you decapitated that blade lady. You're such a badass.
00:58:25Wait, where's my-
00:58:26Hey, hey, hey, shh, shh, shh. It's okay. It's okay. It's here.
00:58:32What? No, where's my labrice?
00:58:35Oh, that. Yeah, that's here too.
00:58:42I really was pretty badass back there.
00:58:45Yeah. I have a huge crush on you.
00:58:49Wait, did I say that out loud?
00:58:51Yes.
00:58:53It's just-
00:58:54Oh, no, no. No, no, no, no, don't you!
00:58:56Oh, Syrah, I've got a crush on you.
00:59:00Oh, Syrah, I've got a crush, it's true.
00:59:05And it's on you.
00:59:09My crush is on you.
00:59:13Specifically you, Syrah.
00:59:16That song was about you.
00:59:19I got that.
00:59:24Oh, yeah! Called it!
00:59:28That's been there this whole time?
00:59:31Yep, it's been in front of you all along.
00:59:35We're not talking about the button, are we?
00:59:38No, I'm talking about the button. I saw it ages ago.
00:59:41Oh.
00:59:45How can you even have sex?
00:59:48Now that he's gone...
00:59:51Oh, Syrah, I've got a crush on you.
00:59:55Oh, Syrah, I've got a crush, it's true.
00:59:59I've got a crush on you.
01:00:01And it's on you.
01:00:03Oh, wow.
01:00:04My crush is on you.
01:00:08Specifically you, Syrah.
01:00:11Oh, what are your hands?
01:00:12Magic!
01:00:14Approximately five hours left before Kiki dies in a vat of toxic homebrew.
01:00:26Hello there, lady at bar.
01:00:28Hello.
01:00:29Hello.
01:00:30Um...
01:00:31Well, what...
01:00:34I like your dress.
01:00:37I wore a nice shirt to this bar.
01:00:40It's making me horny.
01:00:45Perchance.
01:00:46Drink, drink, ask about a drink.
01:00:47Ask about a drink.
01:00:48I'm thirsty.
01:00:49Oh, are you thirsty?
01:00:52Yeah.
01:00:53She gave you the leading.
01:00:54Just go for it, man.
01:00:55Just go for it.
01:00:56Just be yourself, bro.
01:00:57Can I, um, get you with my money a drink for you?
01:01:02Oh, yes, please.
01:01:04Close the deal.
01:01:05Now that I have purchased you a drink, you owe me sex?
01:01:09Yes.
01:01:10Yes, correct.
01:01:14Hey, don't be so mean.
01:01:16This is a safe space.
01:01:18What's so funny?
01:01:19It's just like, I don't get why this is so hard for you.
01:01:23Oh, wow.
01:01:24So predictable.
01:01:25From the lady of colour who's a lesbian.
01:01:28I'm really shocked, lesbian of colour.
01:01:31The whole universe is built around you, lesbian of colour.
01:01:34Here's something that I guarantee you did not know.
01:01:38Did you know that crash test dummies are built around the average size and proportions of a woman?
01:01:45What if we get into a crash?
01:01:47And look at this phone.
01:01:49They make these for chicks.
01:01:50How am I supposed to use this tiny phone with my huge hands?
01:01:54It's a tiny fucking lesbian phone.
01:01:58Fuck you, lesbian phone.
01:02:00We gotta be confident.
01:02:02But not too confident.
01:02:04Don't be too confident.
01:02:05We gotta be beautiful.
01:02:07But not too beautiful.
01:02:08But not too beautiful.
01:02:09Don't be too beautiful.
01:02:10Can't look too good.
01:02:11You gotta have nice shoes.
01:02:13Everything you do, everything you do, I gotta do backwards in flat shoes.
01:02:18Do you understand?
01:02:19You've got the support of heels.
01:02:22I just, it is hard for us too.
01:02:24Oh no.
01:02:26No, I'm sorry.
01:02:28I'm just...
01:02:29Oh no, no he does this.
01:02:31We can't win.
01:02:32He's just upset.
01:02:34I'm not, I'm not upset.
01:02:35These are angry tears.
01:02:37I'm so angry I'm crying.
01:02:39You should just stop complaining.
01:02:42Screw this.
01:02:43My life is hard too.
01:02:45That's it.
01:02:46I'm really doing it this time.
01:02:47I'm getting myself loose.
01:02:49Yalalalalalalalala!
01:02:51Yalalalalalala!
01:02:52Yalalalalalala!
01:02:56Yee-hee!
01:02:58No no no no no!
01:02:59Ha ha!
01:03:01Whoa?
01:03:04Oh.
01:03:06Oh.
01:03:09I think it's time you realize who has the power here.
01:03:14Kill the lesbian!
01:03:18To be, or not to be, that is the question!
01:03:24Oh God!
01:03:25Oh this is the most painful and horrible death anyone could ever experience!
01:03:30Oh God!
01:03:31Why me?
01:03:32Why?
01:03:33Why?
01:03:36Bro, I said kill the lesbian, not the thespian.
01:03:38What the heck, bro?
01:03:41You can hear they sound the same.
01:03:43Yes.
01:03:43I understand.
01:03:44I mean, I know this isn't my argument, but I'm pretty sure you said thespian.
01:03:48I don't think I did.
01:03:49When I say kill the lesbian, I'm talking about quite specifically her.
01:03:54And you know that.
01:03:55You do this.
01:03:56You team up and you pick on me.
01:03:57You said thespian.
01:03:58Fucking, I swear to God I didn't.
01:03:59Wow.
01:03:59And if I did, I apologize.
01:04:01Now who's the lesbian, hey?
01:04:02What?
01:04:03No.
01:04:03No, no, no, no, no.
01:04:05What?
01:04:05Do you know what a lesbian, do you know what a lesbian is?
01:04:08Yes.
01:04:09They get on stage.
01:04:11No, that's a thespian.
01:04:14And date someone of the same sex.
01:04:17That's a lesbian thespian.
01:04:18Well, that's a lesbian thespian.
01:04:19That's a lesbian.
01:04:20No, it's a lesbian thespian.
01:04:21Just kill the lesbian.
01:04:22Just kill the lesbian.
01:04:24Every lesbian in the L word was also a thespian.
01:04:27Yes.
01:04:27That's fair.
01:04:28You cannot argue with that.
01:04:29No, and I never would.
01:04:30Either way, we're getting off topic, and I would like to kill the lesbian.
01:04:35We already killed her.
01:04:37No.
01:04:37No.
01:04:37We killed the thespian.
01:04:39You killed the thespian.
01:04:40The the...
01:04:41Yes, and that's what you wanted.
01:04:42No.
01:04:42I thought you said thespian.
01:04:44No.
01:04:44No.
01:04:44No.
01:04:44Shut up.
01:04:46Sure.
01:04:47Stop talking now.
01:04:49All right.
01:04:51Now.
01:04:52Kill the lesbian.
01:04:56No.
01:04:56No.
01:04:57No.
01:04:57Wait, wait, wait.
01:04:59I'm sorry.
01:05:00You're right.
01:05:01Women like me suck.
01:05:03Look.
01:05:04We take up too much space.
01:05:05Ah, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
01:05:07Too late.
01:05:08I am sick of you always patronizing us.
01:05:11But...
01:05:12You...
01:05:13Need me.
01:05:14Mm-hmm.
01:05:15Syrah's not gonna give you the labrice for nothing.
01:05:19Do you really want to invite a lesbian with one of the most powerful weapons in the universe
01:05:25to your cave and then tell them you've just killed the person they love?
01:05:30Mm-hmm.
01:05:32Well, if she loves you so much, what is taking her so long?
01:05:36Just let me talk to her.
01:05:38I promise I can get her here.
01:05:41Mm-hmm.
01:05:43Fine.
01:05:44But you better hope she's close by.
01:05:46I am done waiting.
01:05:49Button!
01:05:57New time limit, princess!
01:05:59One hour!
01:06:01What?
01:06:01You can thank Big Mouth over here for that!
01:06:04And all the mean things you've been saying about me and my friends.
01:06:08Syrah!
01:06:09Wait, where are you?
01:06:10Is that...
01:06:12sex hair?
01:06:13Who the fuck is that?
01:06:15Hey, I'm Willow.
01:06:16Syrah's new partner.
01:06:17What?
01:06:17No, they're no one.
01:06:19Oh.
01:06:20Wait.
01:06:21I didn't mean that.
01:06:21I'm sorry.
01:06:22Are you serious?
01:06:23I mean, I'm sorry.
01:06:25They're no one.
01:06:26Oh.
01:06:27I mean, I don't know.
01:06:29I'm confused.
01:06:32I'm just...
01:06:34Sorry.
01:06:36No, Syrah.
01:06:37I'm sorry.
01:06:39I can see now I screwed things up.
01:06:42I never appreciated you.
01:06:44But Syrah, you're the only one who can bring your royal labrice and save me.
01:06:54But now...
01:06:56But now I've lost you.
01:06:58And now I'm gonna die.
01:07:07No.
01:07:08No!
01:07:09No!
01:07:09That's not true.
01:07:10I'll come.
01:07:11Of course I'll come.
01:07:13You have one hour!
01:07:14Kiki!
01:07:23Willow, I'm sorry
01:07:25It's okay
01:07:26If Kiki means this much to you
01:07:29We can open this relationship up
01:07:33No, Willow
01:07:34I think maybe you and I
01:07:37Should just be friends
01:07:40Your friend zoning me?
01:07:45I hid the body for you
01:07:49Not the head though
01:07:50I figured they'll never figure out
01:07:52Who it belongs to without the body
01:07:56I don't even like murder
01:07:59I just wanted you to like me
01:08:01I do
01:08:03Really like you
01:08:04I think you're the first
01:08:07Proper friend I've ever had
01:08:08I got a bit caught up in that
01:08:11Now I've messed it up
01:08:14I just
01:08:16Need some time
01:08:17And I'm taking this
01:08:20You owe me that at least
01:08:23It's yours
01:08:23Don't let them see you cry
01:08:26I definitely have some inspiration for my album now
01:08:29I'm sorry
01:08:32I really hope
01:08:35We can be friends
01:08:39Fuck you, Sarah
01:08:51I met her on a move
01:08:55She was dealing with some glue
01:09:00Still she took me on a wild ride
01:09:33Did some fucked up shit
01:09:35I kind of wish
01:09:36It was for me
01:09:38But something's just
01:09:41A bit so clean
01:09:43Finally
01:09:43How was it?
01:09:45Wait, where's the other one?
01:09:47What happened?
01:09:48Did she
01:09:49They
01:09:50Dump you too?
01:09:51I kind of
01:09:53Dumped
01:09:54Them
01:09:54Why would you do that?
01:09:55They seem to genuinely like
01:09:57Your boring personality
01:09:58And magic tricks
01:09:59Because
01:10:01I've got to save Kiki
01:10:03Oh man
01:10:04You still want to do that?
01:10:05I can't just abandon her
01:10:07Listen
01:10:07I know you didn't want to come this far
01:10:09But she
01:10:10Needs me
01:10:11Is it okay if I drive us to the worst
01:10:13Most dangerous place in the universe?
01:10:21No pilots
01:10:22Ever asked me
01:10:23If I'm okay with something before
01:10:26Honestly
01:10:27They were a bit mean
01:10:33Well, what do you say?
01:10:36Wanna stick with me?
01:10:37I mean
01:10:38We've come this far
01:10:46Sorry
01:10:47You really
01:10:48Hidden her
01:10:50Yeah
01:10:51Whatever
01:10:52Let's go
01:11:11Hold on
01:11:12That's
01:11:14The worst
01:11:15Most dangerous place
01:11:16In the universe
01:11:20Yeah
01:11:21Apparently this is it
01:11:22Do you know what this is?
01:11:23It's like
01:11:24One of those
01:11:24World's best cup of coffee
01:11:26Bullshit
01:11:27Slogan
01:11:28Things
01:11:28It's like
01:11:28Oh yes
01:11:29That shitty little cafe
01:11:31Has the world's best cup of coffee
01:11:33Uh
01:11:33Chef
01:11:34What?
01:11:38Oh my god
01:11:46My god
01:11:48Hey
01:11:53I'm so happy
01:12:04I'm so happy
01:12:07I'm sorry I took you here
01:12:09You should take us back
01:12:09Don't you dare
01:12:10You are not the same shy
01:12:13Sad
01:12:13Pathetic
01:12:14Boring
01:12:15Miserable princess
01:12:16You were when you hopped aboard
01:12:17My generous wisdom
01:12:19And guidance
01:12:20Has helped shape you
01:12:21Into the strong lady warrior
01:12:22Sitting here right now
01:12:26So what are you gonna do
01:12:27Sangria
01:12:31I know what to do
01:12:37Okay
01:12:38Mom's driving now
01:12:44Oh fuck
01:12:49It's really on me
01:12:52Shit this isn't working
01:12:54I think I've got an idea
01:12:57I trust you
01:13:05Take it back
01:13:06I take it back
01:13:08I don't trust you
01:13:32I don't trust you
01:13:58Oh that does not sound good
01:14:01Oh that does not sound good
01:14:07Girlfriend
01:14:10Oh and I guess
01:14:11Be careful
01:14:13Okay
01:14:13Hey
01:14:15Thanks for being an ally
01:14:16Back there
01:14:17Who what
01:14:18I'm not gay
01:14:36Boys I'm Mr. Thespian
01:14:38Hey
01:14:39I've got the Labris
01:14:40I missed that
01:14:42Shouldn't have killed
01:14:42Bethesbians
01:14:43They were putting on plays
01:14:44And stuff
01:14:44Why'd you tell him
01:14:45To kill Bethesbians
01:14:46I said
01:14:46Hey
01:14:47I've got the Labris
01:14:49I remember specifically
01:14:50I fucking didn't
01:14:52They did my favourite
01:14:53One man show
01:14:54Of Book of Mormon
01:14:55Yeah
01:14:55Oh
01:14:56Our Labris is here
01:14:58Oh
01:14:59Our Labris is here
01:15:01Gimme gimme gimme gimme gimme gimme
01:15:09Now let Kiki go
01:15:11Oh gladly
01:15:13Terrible deal for you
01:15:14If you ask me
01:15:15Take her
01:15:15Get her out of here
01:15:17Look at the Labris
01:15:19Look at the Labris
01:15:21Look at the Labris
01:15:27Hey
01:15:30You saved me
01:15:34I'm free
01:15:36Finally free
01:15:39Oh god
01:15:40I thought I was gonna die
01:15:42You know
01:15:43If we hurry
01:15:44We could still go to the lesbian ball together
01:15:49Yeah
01:15:51I don't think so
01:15:55But I came all this way for you
01:15:58Yeah
01:15:59Well
01:15:59You kind of got me into this mess
01:16:01But
01:16:02You said that
01:16:03Maybe if I was different
01:16:06Listen
01:16:07I'm so grateful you saved me
01:16:10I'm genuinely impressed you made it here
01:16:14But
01:16:15I don't owe you anything
01:16:17Nothing's changed
01:16:20But
01:16:21I have
01:16:25Ugh
01:16:26Again
01:16:27Again
01:16:27With the crying
01:16:30Look
01:16:31I really don't want to be mean
01:16:33But it never really made sense
01:16:35That I was with you in the first place
01:16:36You know what I mean
01:16:38What's happening to it
01:16:39Fuck
01:16:40What the hell
01:16:42Princess
01:16:42We had to do
01:16:45I'm upset
01:16:46Fuck
01:16:47Fuck
01:16:48Fuck
01:16:49Fuck
01:16:55Fuck
01:16:57Fuck
01:17:02Fuck
01:17:04Fuck
01:17:05Fuck
01:17:12Fuck
01:17:14Fuck
01:17:16Fuck
01:17:17Fuck
01:17:19Fuck
01:17:19Fuck
01:17:26and you couldn't ignore me for long you haven't changed at all get into your thick head
01:17:33you're not good enough for kiki without her you're nothing
01:17:44that's not true yes it is even your own mums don't like you just stop it stop criticizing me
01:17:57you disappoint everyone i'm just telling you how it is are you maybe my mums are just bad parents
01:18:06maybe kiki is actually a narcissistic asshole and i deserve better i'm not always the problem
01:18:16yes you are i don't think so you're a boring little wimp and you know it
01:18:22ah shut the fuck up
01:18:57oh good and great you got it back now hand it over
01:19:03no what what what but you said we could have it if we gave you the mean lady
01:19:10you can't have a lesbian and a lesbian thing that's too many things because we don't have
01:19:15in what what what i'm crying no you're not aren't i no
01:19:29we had a deal yeah well sometimes things don't work out how you want them to
01:19:33oh well we know that all too well
01:19:40give it back it's ours
01:19:46it's mine
01:19:54why do you even need it
01:19:58well because um if we don't have your libris to power our chick magnet then
01:20:05we'll never get hot chicks and we'll be losers forever
01:20:09wait that's seriously why you want it
01:20:14we don't exactly have chicks knocking down our door
01:20:18no i'll leave my door open and they still don't come through
01:20:25yeah but all the chick magnets in the world won't help you
01:20:30i went through all of this and why because i wanted kiki to love me
01:20:39but now i see my biggest problem was that i didn't even love myself
01:20:47we deserve to love ourselves without a chick magnet or a hot as fuck girlfriend
01:20:56wow i mean no you're full of shit get her boys
01:21:04now i don't know
01:21:15give her a kiss
01:21:17give her a kiss
01:21:19give her a kiss
01:21:21give her a kiss
01:21:23give her a kiss
01:21:36Wait, guys, I just had a random thought.
01:21:40All the chick magnets in the world won't help us.
01:21:44We went through all of this, and why?
01:21:48Because we wanted chicks to love us?
01:21:52But now I see our biggest problem is that we don't even love ourselves.
01:22:00We deserve to love ourselves without a chick magnet, or a hot-as-fuck girlfriend.
01:22:10Wow. That was beautiful, bro.
01:22:14I'm proud of you, man.
01:22:16You're so smart.
01:22:18God, you all deserve one another. Shame you can't just date each other.
01:22:28Well, I mean, we would have the best time, like, all the time.
01:22:37Yeah, and, well, I guess they do say you should date your best friends.
01:22:42Yeah, they do say that.
01:22:44I hear sexuality's a bit of a spectrum.
01:22:47It is, man, baby.
01:22:47It is a spectrum. It's a whole spectrum.
01:22:51So, you know, put it out.
01:22:54We'd have the best time.
01:22:56Oh, um, um...
01:22:58Oh, yeah.
01:23:03Mwah.
01:23:04She might have...
01:23:06Mwah.
01:23:07Mwah.
01:23:08Uh, Larry, can you come over here and say it?
01:23:13Mwah.
01:23:14Mwah.
01:23:14Okay, just a little...
01:23:16Oh, yeah.
01:23:17Can I just have a soft one?
01:23:18Oh.
01:23:18Oh.
01:23:19Oh, you do the rough stuff with me?
01:23:21Yeah, come here, you.
01:23:28Let me in.
01:23:30I told you.
01:23:30I'm not going anywhere without Sarah.
01:23:34What are you doing?
01:23:36Sarah?
01:23:37Oh, thank God you're okay.
01:23:41Ha, ha.
01:23:42Mind if I...
01:23:44Bum a lift?
01:23:46Yeah.
01:23:47I just don't think that would really make sense.
01:23:51You know what I mean?
01:23:53Oh, come on.
01:23:54Are you seriously mad at me?
01:23:57Yeah.
01:23:58Fair.
01:24:00You're looking better.
01:24:02Yeah.
01:24:02It was mostly just cum.
01:24:06Oh, fuck.
01:24:08Shit, shit, shit, shit.
01:24:10We don't want to have us see you again.
01:24:13Oh, you can have this back.
01:24:17I've never been more attracted to you.
01:24:22Where to now, Sasha?
01:24:24Back to Clotopolis.
01:24:26No!
01:24:27Also, just as a heads up, it's Saira.
01:24:31Oh, my God.
01:24:33Have I been saying it wrong the whole time?
01:24:35That is so embarrassing.
01:24:37I am so sorry, Saira.
01:24:40Saira?
01:24:41That's what I'm saying.
01:24:42No.
01:24:43Listen to what I'm saying.
01:24:48Are you seriously friend-zoning me?
01:24:53You can't be seriously friend-zoning me.
01:24:58Say you don't even want to be poly.
01:25:01I can't believe this.
01:25:03You're friend-zoning me.
01:25:08You were my desire.
01:25:12My heart was up for higher.
01:25:17But you burned it down like fire.
01:25:22Oh, you better watch out for Saira.
01:25:26Yeah, you better watch out for Saira.
01:25:31Oh, you better watch out for Saira.
01:25:40Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, oh no!
01:25:45Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, oh no!
01:25:49Just because you're my last heart
01:25:51Doesn't mean I owe you back
01:25:53Just because you're sharing shit
01:25:56Doesn't mean that you get it
01:25:58This is an utter transaction
01:26:01Your crime is an affection
01:26:03Doesn't mean you'll find it
01:26:05I know you
01:26:05Shut
01:26:08Not in the friend's home
01:26:11Oh, no
01:26:12Just bring it out, no
01:26:14You're not a nice guy
01:26:16You don't get to put it in token
01:26:19The way for folks to fall out
01:26:22Just like that you pretend you can
01:26:24Doesn't mean I drop my head
01:26:26This is an utter transaction
01:26:28This is an utter transaction
01:26:29Your crime is an affection
01:26:31Did I buy you a fuck?
01:26:33I don't know you
01:26:33Shut
01:26:35Not in the friend's home
01:26:39Oh, no
01:26:40Don't be in a hole
01:26:42You're not a nice guy
01:26:44Not in the friend's home
01:26:48Oh, no
01:26:50Don't be in a hole
01:26:51You're not a nice guy
01:26:53When I can give you a free
01:26:55Oh, no
01:26:56Hey, you're not a nice guy
01:27:12What
01:27:13Years
01:27:14Theory
01:27:14Grade
01:27:16What
01:27:17What
01:27:17What
01:27:18Remember
01:27:19I
01:27:19Strong
01:27:20views
01:27:21the
01:27:23Would
01:27:23You
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