- 5 hours ago
The Real Housewives of Miami - Season 7 - Episode 04: Boogers and Birkins
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TVTranscript
00:04Ooh, ah.
00:06I'm breathing.
00:08Ooh, ah.
00:10So make sure your ooh is not here.
00:12Ooh.
00:13Ooh.
00:15Ooh.
00:17Ooh.
00:17Ooh.
00:17Ooh.
00:17Ooh.
00:17Ooh.
00:18Ooh.
00:18Ooh.
00:18Good.
00:19How are you feeling today?
00:21Sorry.
00:22I'm not feeling so great.
00:25This is time to use your breath to let go of the emotions.
00:28All right?
00:29Whatever's going on.
00:30Do you want to do this?
00:32Hey!
00:32You don't go there for a new thing, okay?
00:33You're screaming.
00:34You're like a hyena.
00:35When you sing a note, you have to let go of it.
00:37If you hold on to it, it will strangle you.
00:40Singing is just controlled screaming.
00:42That's all it is.
00:43You have no self-centered.
00:44I took you on the pole.
00:46Sit your ass down.
00:47The performance is over.
00:48This is not an opera show.
00:49I am trying to become an opera singer.
00:51Recently, someone threw it in my face, and the waters got spilled all over the place.
00:56Don't you tell me!
00:58Oh!
00:59I'm a liar!
01:01She literally aggressed me, assaulted me for no reason.
01:06I defended Martina and my family.
01:08Like, why would she make those comments?
01:10She rewrote an entire script on what happened on the cruise.
01:13I am not going to be on trial for the bull .
01:16I had to stop those lies coming at me, and I had to stop those words.
01:20I will never forget what she did.
01:23I feel like Julia kind of went to the dark side.
01:26Scare me.
01:29I'm scared.
01:30That's excellent.
01:30That's very good.
01:32I think today was therapy and music.
01:40I may be a Cuban doll, but I'm no one's toy.
01:45It's hard to get on my back side because I don't have one.
01:48I'm a fierce fighter and an even stronger survivor.
01:53My chicken coop is full, and now so is my house.
01:58I may not be prompt, but I'm worth the wait.
02:03I don't just sell luxury.
02:05I live it.
02:13It's all balance.
02:15Oh, my God.
02:17Fuck this shit.
02:23What is this?
02:24What is this?
02:25You have to contract your muscles to stay on it, but it moves you and it shakes you.
02:28Oh, but this is, like, so easy.
02:29Oh, my God.
02:30It feels good.
02:31Mm-hmm.
02:32I'm going to stand here with you.
02:34Oh.
02:34Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.
02:36We're good at this.
02:37We are.
02:38We're good at job.
02:39We're good at most things together.
02:45I love it.
02:46I'm obsessed.
02:47I'm obsessed.
02:48I'm obsessed.
02:49Liam is going to freak out.
02:51His favorite holiday is Halloween.
02:56All right.
02:57I think I'm satisfied.
03:00Hi.
03:00Oh, my God.
03:01Hi.
03:02Oh, wait.
03:02Oh.
03:03Wait, Liam, what do you guys think?
03:05Wait, this is your house.
03:06Turn around.
03:07Look around.
03:10Wow.
03:13It's your favorite skeletons and skulls.
03:15So you know the theme is panic at the disco.
03:20What do you think?
03:22It's amazing.
03:23It's amazing?
03:24So I know that Russell told me to, like, you know, like, slow down and try to be more present.
03:28But decorating brings me back to a normal that I know.
03:33This is all for you, baby.
03:35You're in miles.
03:35I mean, miles doesn't really care.
03:36You know.
03:36So I apologize for the disturbance in the neighborhood.
03:40But it makes me happy.
03:43Aren't you happy to see me happy about this?
03:46Considering that I've been literally super down from, like, that.
03:52You know what, you know what happened.
03:57That picture in my mind, with this big woman, tall woman, standing over you, is upsetting.
04:07Let's go shopping.
04:12It's so hot.
04:13It's baking.
04:14I feel like a baked baguette already.
04:17Oh, my God.
04:18I want to eat everything here.
04:19Are you going to grill anytime soon?
04:22Maybe.
04:23I promised Alexia one of your picanhas.
04:27Oh.
04:28And actually Marisol.
04:29I love it how you volunteer my abilities.
04:33Well, I messed up Marisol's wedding.
04:36I owe her dinner.
04:37I had no right to make anybody wet, you know?
04:41Um, yeah.
04:43I feel embarrassed in front of Marisol and allowing Gertie to get the best of me.
04:49Gertie made it really difficult for me last night.
04:52And I know, again, I'm saying I'm so sorry for ruining your wedding.
04:57The whole thing with the water and the glass just for me was just the, it was too much.
05:02I feel that Gertie decided to wage a war at our family.
05:08Like me going to Paris to be with Emma.
05:12She tried to humiliate me by saying she went to do her facelift in Paris when Martina was doing her
05:20radiation.
05:24I knew I would be okay by myself and I knew that if I had needed you, you would be
05:28on the next plane back.
05:29She didn't know everything, but she's still attacking.
05:31But that's her form, isn't it?
05:33She likes to attack.
05:34And then I still write an apology.
05:37Gertie, I just want to apologize for throwing water.
05:40I'm coming to you with an open heart.
05:42I want to clear the air and resolve any conflict between us as soon as possible.
05:48And I still haven't heard that from her.
05:52Oh my God.
05:54I don't even know what to say.
05:56Like, she violated me in front of the girls for their entertainment.
06:04That's what she did to me.
06:05I am actually sick to my stomach just thinking about it.
06:09Because it was a physical, symbolic act to degrade me to a level as if I was nothing.
06:17And I've never felt that way before.
06:24It's amazing to me how not one of them had the common sense to be like,
06:29this might not be a good idea.
06:31This woman's coming out of recovery, all these things.
06:37This is so stupid.
06:38This is like junior high, high school.
06:41I already went through this.
06:42Even though she said, you are low class, you have no class.
06:45I'm not going to go down to her level.
06:47But meantime, you are inviting her?
06:49Yes.
06:50I hate the feeling excluding anybody.
06:53I have something to ask you.
06:54Can I hold up a boy baby shower for you?
06:57Yes, please.
06:58Okay, cool.
06:58Yes.
06:59So I'll make up to you.
07:00And if I believe the person can be mature enough to control herself and be cordial, that's good enough reason
07:09for me to invite Gertie to my baby shower.
07:14I'll call Adriana.
07:17Hi.
07:18So let's talk about who's coming.
07:21That's a good question.
07:22Gertie hurt me very much, but everybody is invited.
07:26Okay.
07:27That's nice.
07:28I've been to like three baby showers ever, but none for my kids.
07:31So this better be fun.
07:33Are you ready to eat some poop out of a diaper?
07:48Welcome on board.
07:49Take your shoes off.
07:51Oh God.
07:52Okay.
07:53Oh, I'm going to give you a sock.
07:54I took off my shoes.
07:55I got the memo.
07:57You get show my socks.
07:59Oh, so cute.
08:00Or one slipper.
08:01Uh, maybe I'll do socks.
08:02I met Stephanie through my friend Carolyn Stanberry.
08:05It was love at first sight.
08:07I didn't want to meet her.
08:08Show my socks.
08:10Adorable.
08:11I was in the south of France yachting in the middle of the ocean.
08:15And now you're adding me in a group chat.
08:17Don't you like love your feet?
08:19Yeah.
08:20Oh, sorry.
08:20I made you cover though.
08:21No, you're good.
08:22I'm just cold.
08:23Then I realized, oh, she has a really good sense of humor.
08:26I just loved her.
08:27But you must really love me if you're flying with me to go get pebbles.
08:30I thought we were going to the mall.
08:32I thought we were going to get lunch.
08:33Only Stephanie would invite you to run errands with her.
08:36To fly to Orlando to pick up her dogs.
08:38Like who does that?
08:39Is that even normal?
08:40We are.
08:40We're getting caviar shortly.
08:41Oh, good.
08:42Okay.
08:42I do love caviar.
08:44Very chic.
08:46So you guys have a new building that's going up?
08:48800 units.
08:50Oh, wow.
08:50That's sick.
08:51My husband started Shoma Group, the third largest real estate development company in South
08:56Florida in the early 80s.
08:58We're going to demolish the Volvo dealership.
09:00It's on you.
09:00It's going to be really nice.
09:02That's sick.
09:03That's a lot of work.
09:04I love that.
09:06It's a lot, but it'll be good.
09:07I am not where I am because I married Masood Shojai.
09:10Yes, maybe I got a little bit of help, but everybody in life gets a little bit of help.
09:15Cheers.
09:15Cheers.
09:16Love you.
09:16Thanks for coming with me.
09:18Let's go.
09:18Thank you for flying Shoma Air.
09:20That looks so good.
09:23So good?
09:24Okay.
09:25So good.
09:27How's Lisa?
09:29You don't talk to me like that.
09:31Get out.
09:32Get out.
09:32Get out.
09:33Get out.
09:33Out.
09:35I feel like I don't even want to talk about it.
09:36You know, we share, well, we don't share, but my glam team used to do her glam a really long
09:40time ago.
09:41I feel like I haven't like met girls that I just like really, really love and like get along with.
09:46And I'm really excited to meet some of your friends.
09:48And I've really loved Alexa and Marisol, but that's it.
09:51Oh, the last time I saw them, you don't know Julia, right?
09:55No.
09:56Julia got into a situation with Gertie and she baptized her.
10:00Oh, that's nice.
10:01I want to baptize my suit.
10:02I'm dying to baptize her.
10:03No, I mean like threw a whole glass of water on her.
10:05What?
10:06Whole glass of water over her head.
10:09Oh, so not like a baptism for real.
10:10Not like a Santa Maria baptism.
10:12Like crazy.
10:17Touchdown.
10:18Oh, welcome to Orlando.
10:20Bienvenido a Orlando.
10:21Oh my God, Matthew.
10:24Hi, hi.
10:26Oh my goodness.
10:29Hi.
10:34You're very smartly.
10:35What are you doing?
10:36Stephanie made me fly with her to Orlando to pick up the dogs.
10:40You got on the porch before me.
10:42I'm not a good flyer.
10:43She should have called you.
10:44I'm going to talk to you about something.
10:47Alexia dropped a little bit of a bomb.
10:50Todd and I decided to ask for an extension to get divorced.
10:55You know, we want another three months.
10:56He doesn't want to pull the trigger.
10:58I don't want to pull the trigger.
10:59He's never going to pull the trigger.
11:00It's going to have to be you.
11:03Yeah, it's a roller coaster.
11:05One day she hates him.
11:06The next week she's fine.
11:07And I don't know.
11:08I just thought maybe we could all go out and we have drinks.
11:11Like have a good time.
11:12Just dropped her a little bit.
11:14Do you think there's anything that will help Alexia get over time?
11:18No.
11:18New D.
11:22Definitely tell Stephanie to come.
11:24Okay, sounds good.
11:25All right, love you.
11:25Love you.
11:27Big kiss.
11:27Love you too.
11:27My mom, my dad.
11:29Hi, how are you?
11:30Nice to meet you.
11:31Nice seeing you.
11:32Nice seeing you.
11:33Nice seeing you.
11:37Should I send him to you?
11:39Oh, he's gone.
11:41Oh, okay.
11:42Sit.
11:42We're taking off now.
11:45See you in an hour, Miami.
11:47Oh my God, the dog's going to the cockpit.
11:49Because Marsha's not telling her she's beautiful.
12:04Who is it?
12:06Um, your favorite.
12:07Not Taylor.
12:09Oh, they're so funny.
12:11Oh, for me?
12:12Yeah, they're for you.
12:14Sorry about your father.
12:16I know.
12:16You know that.
12:17Such a dreadful thing.
12:19Yeah.
12:19It really is.
12:20I know.
12:21You know, and you don't realize how hard it is until it finally happens to you.
12:25Yeah.
12:25I just wish I had more time with my dad.
12:28Can I get you a drink?
12:29You know what I like, monkey.
12:31I think what I took from this is you need to forgive.
12:34You need to forgive your parents if you have any issues with your parents.
12:38Don't let so much time go by.
12:40Don't hold grudges because that was a huge mistake.
12:45Cheers.
12:47So how was the wedding?
12:48It was nice.
12:49It was...
12:49We just went to the courthouse.
12:51It was no big deal.
12:52Ready?
12:53Oh, .
12:56Wait, but then you had the party with everybody.
12:59Oh, yeah.
13:00Oh, God.
13:00It was awful because there was just so much chaos going on within the group.
13:05But, um, you know when Alexia gets here, we'll talk about that.
13:09I wanted to talk.
13:10Was she there with Todd?
13:11Yes.
13:11No, she wasn't there with Todd.
13:13I'm getting worried because he's draining her emotionally and she's a nervous wreck.
13:17I think she's just shh.
13:20Hi.
13:21Oh, my God.
13:22Hi, my mom.
13:23It's so good to see you.
13:24You're looking like a rock star's visual.
13:26I missed you.
13:26Oh, my God.
13:27Look at you.
13:27Thank you for you.
13:28This is for you.
13:29Look how beautiful.
13:30Oh, I love you, girl.
13:34Come sit over here with us.
13:37Okay, so tell me all the tea, all the stuff.
13:41All the cheesemakes?
13:42Like, I'm just hearing little things but not the whole story and you told me it was a nightmare.
13:46I was horrified, honestly.
13:47At first, it was just Larsa recapping Milan.
13:53Okay.
13:54And I don't know, she said that Jodi was kind of like amped up and kind of...
13:59Crazy behavior.
14:00And argumentative.
14:01The last night of Milan, Jodi gets so crazy.
14:05He doesn't want us to talk anymore, yelling over us.
14:08Why?
14:08Why?
14:09I'm gonna show you a photo.
14:10Oh, my God.
14:13And, like, that you were defending her at one point and then...
14:17Defending?
14:18I was defending Larsa?
14:19You were defending Larsa because Jodi was screaming at Larsa.
14:22And you're like, please don't talk to her that way.
14:25I'm gonna say, Jodi does not raise his voice.
14:28She is a liar and a manipulator.
14:39Hi.
14:40Hi.
14:41I'm getting a little bit of a cold.
14:42It started raining after you left.
14:46Thanks.
14:47Well, trust me, it's been raining here, too.
14:50What's going on?
14:51Just the whole thing with Lisa.
14:54Especially what happened on Sunday night.
14:55Was that mad crazy?
14:57I've never seen anyone behave like that.
14:59I was super shocked.
14:59I literally had to tell him he can't speak to him in this way
15:02because he was getting out of control.
15:04I think Lisa knew that he was in the wrong
15:06because she was even telling him, like, you gotta calm down.
15:08Lisa was telling him, like, shut up.
15:11Like, be quiet.
15:12Don't talk to my friend like that.
15:13And he just went on and on and on, you know?
15:15But he just...
15:16He lost the idea.
15:18His eyes.
15:20The eyes, right?
15:21She said he was out of his character.
15:23That he was crazy.
15:25Look at his eyes.
15:26Look at his eyes?
15:27She showed us a picture and said his eyes look crazy.
15:29What is that supposed to mean?
15:30His eyes looked crazy.
15:32I don't know, Lisa.
15:33Is she okay?
15:34Jodi has big, beautiful eyes.
15:37That's one of the things I like about him.
15:39He looks like a Furby.
15:40You know?
15:41She was like, oh, my God, you don't understand.
15:43Like, what I saw, like, in Jodi is, like, crazy,
15:45and he's controlling Lisa.
15:47I want to know how he's controlling Lisa.
15:49He's on all of her business calls.
15:51All of them.
15:52Like, don't you just want to have a boyfriend
15:53and keep your business dealing separate?
15:55Maybe he's her manager.
15:56He's a social climber.
15:57I'm just worried about Lisa because I feel like Lisa
16:00should really be focusing on herself more so
16:02than having to worry about another grown person.
16:04I don't know what this guy's done to her.
16:07Brainwashed her.
16:08Digmatized her.
16:08I don't know what you want to call it,
16:09but I hope Lisa figures it out sooner than later.
16:12She's going around talking about my personal business,
16:15my family, knowing that my dad was dead at that time,
16:19and the fact that I was hearing what was going on back here.
16:22Who told you about my party?
16:25I'm not going to say.
16:27I'm not a rat.
16:29She should have been saying, I hope Lisa's okay.
16:31How is my girl doing?
16:33Mm-hmm.
16:33Instead of talking all crazy about me and Jodi.
16:37Look, the timing was not good at all.
16:38Hurting my family, hurting my family,
16:40and that is why I sent her a photo.
16:43I'm not even sorry about it because I go,
16:45this is what I'm dealing with.
16:46No, Lisa.
16:48I only had a father in the casket, Lisa.
16:50I sent a picture of my dead dad.
16:52She sent it to Pips.
16:54Oh, .
16:55She sent it to Pips.
16:57Oh, no.
16:59No.
17:00Dead people cannot travel through cyberspace.
17:03My dad was dead and dying,
17:05and she didn't give a .
17:06You can't say you in one text,
17:09and the next one, praying for you, babe.
17:11She doesn't give a about anybody but her self.
17:16No, no, no, no, no,
17:18no, no, no.
17:20No, no, no, no, no.
17:25No, no, no.
17:25No, no, no, no, no.
17:25No, no, no.
17:26I'm not a lot.
17:27What the fuck?
17:27No.
17:27No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
17:31No, no, no.
17:31Where is going?
17:32We are going to pick up Grandpa from the airport.
17:35Can I go to the Elplain right there?
17:38Well, we are not going to the Elplain right now,
17:40but, yeah, we can book a flight.
17:42Where do you want to go?
17:44Dance.
17:44Dance?
17:45Yeah.
17:46Like a party.
17:47So you just want to go to a party?
17:49Yeah.
17:50Why do you love to party so much?
17:51Because I want to dance.
17:53You want to dance?
17:55Uh-huh.
17:56We're almost there to see grandpa.
17:58After my dad kicked me out at 15 years old for modeling,
18:02I didn't talk to him or see him or hear from him for 10 years.
18:06Then aunties, uncles, my mom, everybody's like,
18:09you need to give your dad a chance.
18:11You need to see past this.
18:15Tati, come sit in the back so we can put your seatbelt.
18:19It took me 10 years to finally go through the process
18:23to start to try to forgive him.
18:26So it's been okay for the past few years,
18:29but still, it's baby steps.
18:31Papa.
18:32Hello?
18:32Oh, my God.
18:33I'm so happy you're here.
18:35Welcome back.
18:36Yeah.
18:37How was Hayden?
18:38High cream.
18:39Of course, this one is screaming ice cream.
18:41We're going to go get ice cream later.
18:42Okay, Tati?
18:43Mm-hmm.
18:43Let mommy catch up with grandpa.
18:45How is Hayden?
18:48Some places go.
18:49Some places got trouble every day, you know.
18:51You're not going back.
18:52You're going to stay here for a while.
18:53Uh-uh.
18:54I'm going back because...
18:56Girlfriends?
18:57No, no, no...
18:59No girlfriends?
18:59No girlfriends?
19:00No girlfriends?
19:00You know I got only one.
19:03Only one?
19:03Only one, yeah.
19:05Okay.
19:06She got one little boy for me.
19:08A little boy?
19:09Yeah, sure.
19:09Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
19:12So I have a brother?
19:13Yeah, yeah, a little brother.
19:15You got a little brother.
19:16How old?
19:16I think the last one, about three years.
19:19Oh, wow.
19:21how many kids you have now that's seven seven yeah I don't want any more babies so
19:32you have these grandkids are you have to take care of first before you have more kids I have
19:38to remind you about your mark like you have not stayed in touch with him which I don't appreciate
19:44I was on the speaking term with my dad when Shamar was born he's taller than you Shamar just so
19:55you
19:55know he's in college of course Shamar is in college and you wouldn't know because you never asked for
20:09summer you have a little uncle you want to party with your uncle hi welcome to
20:41fable that's more exercise than I've done in a lifetime hello this is very clandestine I don't
20:49even know what that means but yeah hi how are you can I have a vodka with oranges on the
20:54side exactly
20:56I don't know if everyone in this town knows my cock I get on a cruise ship they know my
21:00cock fly to Africa they know my cock I'm in Coral Gables they know my cock my cock gets around
21:07it's you look good for having two baby boys at home starting over oh my god that's a lot of
21:25work
21:26I feel really good I need a drink you like something to drink yes please could I have a complete
21:31rosca but
21:33with very little sugar this has too much ice and it's chilling my organs cheers guys cheers girl
21:41cheers and where is everyone what time is bro and Stephanie getting here tell me about Stephanie
21:48because I can hear her name but I've never met her I don't know like she's fun but she's tough
21:55there's no bull she says it the way it is which I like I respect that Stephanie she and I
21:59have been
22:00following each other on Instagram for like maybe two years now and when I had my PR I've worked with
22:06her husband well I kind of kind of know everybody she likes ghosts I'm going to ask her if she
22:11you know she makes you take off your shoes in her home and she doesn't even like kids like not
22:18she just goes Birkins and boogers don't go together hello hi hi where's my seat here here
22:36don't touch the Birkin it's like when you see somebody with their emotional support dog you
22:41don't go pet the emotional support dog you don't talk to the emotional support dog don't talk to my
22:46Birkin just let the Birkin be now you've got the full Zha Zha today with the feathers I love
22:52feathers I knew you were going to bring the Zha Zha too I'm so excited to meet you I've heard
22:58so
22:58much about oh I've been hearing so much about you my husband loves your wife he does she's the only
23:03wife or woman he's allowed to love so yeah okay I met Masood at a Miami heat game when I
23:10was 26
23:10years old and he was 50. Age difference was a really big deal for me I did not want to
23:16be seen with an
23:17older gentleman because of the misconception of people thinking that if you are with an older guy
23:21you were probably a gold digger and then I met Masood and everything changed hi how are you
23:26what are you drinking uh tequila soda okay I'll have a tequila soda Julia's having a baby shower
23:32oh yeah yeah you adopted babies or kids yes yes congratulations that's the kindest nicest thing
23:38like it literally shows the kind of person you are are you loving it loving it not so much the
23:42diaper
23:43part I have to be honest but it is what it is and we do what we do I cannot
23:47imagine changing a diaper
23:52I knew at a very young age that I wanted to be filthy rich I'm sleeping and I go like
23:57this
23:58we gotta make money
24:03no Kathy I didn't get a chance to use the restroom along the way I did have moments where I
24:08thought
24:08like hey maybe you will want kids maybe you should freeze your eggs and then I looked at my calendar
24:13and I was like yeah I don't even have time to go to the doctor to freeze my eggs I
24:16don't really have
24:17time to go pee that's like a forever you know I'm like with your goat you can change a baby
24:21oh my gosh I've been excited I want to go to your farm I did not call that Larsa and
24:25I were like no
24:26you don't like animals no what you don't even know I grew up on a farm I had to put
24:32my finger
24:32in the chicken's butt to see if there was eggs in me it's usually done with this thing not with
24:37Valentino gloves clearly but it's with this finger that's how you check for eggs
24:41Stephanie you don't come off as fingering a chicken I was there when we were castrating
24:45bulls and eating the testicles you guys don't know this about me where'd you grow up again
24:49where was this you don't understand is this in Colombia yeah I lived my entire childhood three
24:55months out of the year in Colombia I was in a farm were you born there no I was born
25:00here
25:00Mercy Hospital oh oh me too Mercy Hospital
25:05my parents came to this country with nothing but a backpack being a first-generation American
25:11has made me who I am today we have 1400 units coming up we need to figure out how to
25:17sell them
25:18how to rent them and how to stay on top of the market and beat everybody be on top and
25:22always be
25:22the best there is no room for failure you have to keep going until you make it if one door
25:30closes
25:30go find another door if that door's closed keep searching would you like to come to my baby shower
25:36and I would love you to come I'm already inviting myself fantastic yes I'm coming oh my god I like
25:42cheers guys so nice to meet you same same same yeah yeah she's running late I guess she is running
25:51late she'll we FaceTime her yeah let's call her is she never functional I haven't no she's always
25:57I haven't even heard from her today at all can I just tell you guys something there's just I have
26:02one major pet peeve that I cannot deal with what's that and it's people that are late she's never late
26:10something weird's going on something's not right she's not even answering she's probably having sex with
26:16Todd oh don't tell me that he could have called her last a minute and said come over oh upset
26:20me
26:21Larsa they're totally hooking up oh it's Alexia what'd she say hey I'm in bed with a bad migraine
26:27I'm very stressed and anxious I need a mental break sorry to miss it was looking forward she's with
26:33Todd I told you I need a drink
26:50di σεo
26:57hi hana how are you my look is Julia now
27:01Are you here yet?
27:02Nope, nope.
27:03You're the second to arrive, Karen.
27:04I'm just arriving.
27:05You met Karen?
27:06Hi, beautiful.
27:06How are you?
27:07I'm so happy to be able to organize this event,
27:10but Julia called me last night and asked me
27:13to sit Stephanie next to her.
27:15And I agreed to sit Stephanie across from her
27:18because next to her should it be me?
27:20I'm your best friend, and I'm the one
27:22doing the freaking baby shower.
27:26This is beautiful, Adriana.
27:28Hello.
27:29Hi.
27:30Wow.
27:30Oh, look at you.
27:32You're gorgeous.
27:33Thanks.
27:33Oh, Larsa.
27:35Larsa, did you get the whole store?
27:36Hey.
27:37You're welcome.
27:38Gorgeous.
27:39You too.
27:40What do I put together?
27:42We brought balloons here.
27:43You were missed yesterday.
27:45I know.
27:45We were worried about you.
27:46I'm glad that there's nothing to worry about.
27:48I needed a mental break from everyone and everything.
27:51Why did you stay in?
27:52I was not with Todd, I promise you.
27:54I wasn't with Todd.
27:56I wasn't with Todd that night, no.
27:59Oh, God.
28:00I promise you I was not with Todd that night.
28:03I wish, but I wasn't.
28:04I really had a migraine.
28:05I'm just living in Todd and Alexia's world at this point.
28:08This is horrible.
28:10I'm very stressed out.
28:11I have a lot of anxiety.
28:12Just like about everything.
28:13Life?
28:14Life in general.
28:15My life.
28:16Like about my situation right now, Todd.
28:18Oh.
28:19Which, by the way, you added a lot of stress to.
28:22A little bird told me about Alexia and Todd having some financial issues.
28:29I'm not blaming Adriana for Todd leaving, but nobody likes lies and rumors about your
28:34marriage or your relationship.
28:36I mean, does Adriana talk about her relationships?
28:38Because I'm all her fake boyfriends and all her fake stuff.
28:40Whatever.
28:40No, I know.
28:41But whatever.
28:42We'll talk about it some other time.
28:43Not today, yeah.
28:46Oh, wait.
28:47Someone is here.
28:49Hello.
28:50Nice to meet you.
28:52You look fast.
28:53So do you.
28:53I haven't been to a baby shower, really, I think ever.
28:58Hi.
28:59We missed you last night.
29:01I know.
29:01I missed you too.
29:02But it's about babies and happy things and gifts.
29:07Nothing can go wrong.
29:10Right?
29:11Can I just tell you something without like overstepping my boundaries?
29:14With Todd?
29:15Yeah, no.
29:15Okay.
29:16Like when God takes out the garbage, you don't go back into the garbage and like go diving.
29:21You know?
29:21He like took it out so you don't go back in.
29:24I know.
29:25But I have to realize that on my own.
29:27Stephanie's comment is way out of line.
29:29She doesn't know me well enough to make a comment like that about my husband.
29:36Where's the party at?
29:37Excuse me.
29:38I gotta greet Lisa.
29:39Hi.
29:40Oh my God.
29:41Look at your baby blue.
29:43Looking so hot.
29:43How are you?
29:43Thanks for coming up to me and greeting me like this.
29:46Take a blue drink.
29:47Cheers.
29:48Okay.
29:49Another girl in blue.
29:50Hi.
29:50Nice to meet you.
29:51It's so nice to meet you too.
29:52Lisa.
29:53You too.
29:54Hi babe.
29:55How are you?
29:56Good to see you.
29:57This is nice.
29:58This is really beautiful.
29:59Oh God.
30:02Oh, Larsa.
30:03Larsa.
30:04Cheers.
30:04Cheers.
30:05Cheers.
30:06As far as I'm concerned, Larsa doesn't exist.
30:08Like who's Larsa?
30:09I don't know.
30:10I don't know who she is.
30:13Wait, Grady's not here, right?
30:14Grady's not here, right?
30:15Grady is in New York.
30:16Oh.
30:16Got it.
30:20Baby Shari, here we go.
30:22Up to you, darling.
30:24How was your happy hour yesterday that I didn't get to go?
30:27We had a great time.
30:29I wasn't invited to this.
30:34Oh, well, yeah.
30:36Well, because, well, you know, I think there was, you know, it wouldn't have worked.
30:40Yeah, Larsa was there and you guys are really talking.
30:46Um, this is awkward.
30:48Sorry.
30:48Saved by Julia.
30:49Hi, my new friend.
30:52Hi.
30:53Save me.
30:54This is Stephanie.
30:55Julia, save me.
30:56Save me.
30:57These conversations.
30:58Save me.
30:58I love you.
31:00You look stunning.
31:02Everybody's blue.
31:03Hi, Regina.
31:04Hi.
31:04I'm so happy you want blue.
31:06And here comes the sun.
31:08Hi.
31:09I only bring to one baby shower in my life.
31:12Because, like, in Russia, I've never heard about it.
31:14Like, what baby?
31:15You put him on the shower?
31:16Like, for what?
31:17Why?
31:17I don't understand.
31:18We don't do it in Europe neither.
31:20Martina and Julia, you take the queen and the queen seats.
31:23The queen and the queen.
31:24Martina had one request.
31:26It's for this baby shower to be fun.
31:29And I know Adriana.
31:31So I'm super excited to see what she's gonna come up with this time.
31:34Before we start the games, I would like to propose a toast.
31:39So, today we come together to celebrate a truly remarkable and heartwarming journey.
31:44The adoption of two wonderful boys who are about to find their forever home.
31:49Let us raise our glasses to the beautiful bond that's being formed today.
31:54To the parents, Martina and Julia, your love and commitment to those boys is inspiring.
32:01You're here.
32:02I'm already starting crying.
32:03I'm already starting crying.
32:03Too early for crying.
32:04That will be treasured for a lifetime.
32:07Cheers to love, laughter, and a beautiful journey ahead.
32:10Cheers, everybody.
32:11Can I say something?
32:25Cheers to love, laughter, and a beautiful journey ahead.
32:28Cheers, everybody.
32:31Can I say something?
32:35You must.
32:37My friendship with Julia started like three years ago when we first met.
32:42Actually, mine with hers started over a decade ago.
32:47Okay, well, it doesn't really matter how many years.
32:50Right, man.
32:51It's not the amount of years, but actually the quality of the time that we spent together.
32:55And we've spent a lot of beautiful times together at moments.
32:59It's not a competition.
32:59No, it's not.
33:02And I'll thank you for what you're doing, you know, to these two beautiful children, Jackson and Luca.
33:07And guys, thank you for all being here.
33:09We're going to have fun.
33:10What?
33:11What's going on?
33:13Thank you for all being here to the party that I planned.
33:16Everybody raise your glasses.
33:19Cheers.
33:20Cheers.
33:21Now we're going to play games.
33:22No more speeches.
33:23I have actually something for you to taste.
33:26Taste.
33:26Taste.
33:28I'm allergic to babies.
33:29Martina did not want this baby shower to be boring.
33:32I made her a promise and I am delivering.
33:34Now you're going to have to taste.
33:36And then you have to guess what's in the diaper.
33:39Oh!
33:40What?
33:42I said one by one.
33:44Can you eat water?
33:46Oh, I can feel.
33:48I think somebody in this diaper and gave it to me.
33:56I'm thinking it could be Larsa.
33:58She wants me to eat her .
34:02I smell mustard.
34:04I've got to eat it.
34:06No preservatives, right?
34:07Tonga, tongue it, tongue it.
34:11Well, quite frankly, the diaper was pretty good.
34:14There was lentils in there and I'm a vegan, so I was enjoying the in my diaper.
34:20Oh, my God, I got on my Versace.
34:22I got on my Versace.
34:24Oh, so sorry.
34:26Listen, I got two kids.
34:27You know, I want to look at it.
34:30This is red beans, lentil beans, spinach.
34:33You got it!
34:35Applause to kill kids.
34:37As a mom, you know, when you have babies, you're removing this diaper, especially boys,
34:41they peeing and then the pee just and then shit out on your face.
34:44Moving on to the next game.
34:46I'm going to give you the buckets and now you choose truth or there.
34:51I go for the truth now.
34:53Can you?
34:53I don't have my glasses.
34:54Okay, I'll read it.
34:56Okay.
34:57If you got to have a threesome with people in this room, who would you do it with and why?
35:07And all I can say is you better include me in that.
35:13Well, threesomes are not my thing.
35:15She can't make a choice.
35:17I don't do threesomes, my love.
35:19Yes, you have done a threesome.
35:21Woo!
35:23My threesome experience sucked all the way, completely.
35:27So pick one.
35:29I mean, one person is always going to be left alone, I think, right?
35:32So, and then you're going to be like watching and saying, hi, are you down?
35:38What you're doing?
35:39I don't know.
35:39Like, this is totally not my thing.
35:42I'm going to choose Stephanie.
35:43Oh!
35:46I'm the new girl.
35:47I'm the new shiny toy.
35:48We've only known each other for like five minutes.
35:51Exactly.
35:51We just barely met.
35:52That one doesn't roll like that.
35:54It's just traditional.
35:55Threesomes are not for me.
35:56I just really like my husband and I by ourselves.
36:01What's the biggest mistake I've ever made?
36:04Biggest mistake I've ever made is I feel like I'm too loyal.
36:08I need to stop being, that's like a mistake, because it comes back to bite me in the ass all
36:12the time.
36:13Fair enough.
36:14That's a good one.
36:14Moving on, Alexia.
36:15Why don't I get all the good answers?
36:16Yeah, no, fair enough.
36:18One or the other.
36:20What is that?
36:21Twerk for a full 30 seconds.
36:23What the fuck?
36:24Yes, yes, yes.
36:24I didn't get that one.
36:26Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
36:27Woo!
36:28Woo!
36:29Woo!
36:29Woo!
36:29Woo!
36:30Woo!
36:30Woo!
36:31Woo!
36:32Woo!
36:36I think Martina would never say that a baby shower is boring again.
36:40And I feel like after this one Martina might be like seeking baby shower invitations.
36:45Let's move on to the table and we're going to have dinner or lunch, whatever it is.
36:50Now we're going to eat and then we're going to have desserts.
36:53I like desserts.
36:55Hey Steph.
36:56You know what?
36:56We've been trying to get us together.
36:58Yeah, same.
36:59I'm like, who is this girl?
37:00Because I was supposed to, I'm like, she's rich.
37:04I want to be friends with her.
37:06She has an amazing jet and I want to be friends with people that have jets and yachts.
37:11I think it's a little bit rude to want to be my friend because what I have.
37:17Would you be my friend if I invited you to my Colombian farm to eat chicken noodle soup?
37:21Would you eat testicles?
37:23Or do you only want to come hang out with me and have caviar and rosé in the sky?
37:28Am I drunk?
37:29You talk like you're a little tipsy.
37:32I have to pee.
37:33Want to come with me?
37:34Yeah.
37:34Okay.
37:36You okay?
37:37I've been dealing with so much and I've been dealing with that one over there.
37:43Larsa, how are you feeling?
37:44I just feel like I can't take any more like, you made this harder for me, whatever.
37:49When I'm like, I let Marisol read the text messages.
37:51Everything that I'm writing is like prayers and whatever.
37:54Whoever's going back and telling her and not giving her space to like mourn, you know, her father saying,
37:59that's who she should be mad at, not me.
38:01I want to know who told her.
38:02I know you.
38:03But that's not the important thing.
38:04That is the important thing.
38:05No, you and her started fighting back a month ago.
38:09But I would never stress her out during this time.
38:11The fact is that you were talking about Lisa while she was in Canada mourning her father.
38:16You asked me, so I told you.
38:18Can we stop this conversation for one day?
38:21Are we talking about me?
38:36No, we're not gonna talk about anything.
38:41But can I...
38:42I mean, there's a lot of truth to it.
38:44There's a lot of things to tell me.
38:44Can we stop the conversation for one day?
38:46Are we talking about me?
38:49Why?
38:49No, we're not going to talk about anything.
38:51No.
38:52But can I have a meow, meow, please?
38:54Mama needs a meow, meow.
38:56I'm going to meow, meow, meow, please.
38:59Guys, I have a question.
39:00I don't want it to be a thing.
39:01I have just one question, because I feel
39:03that it's like an elephant in the room.
39:06Who would admit that they told Lisa about what happened
39:11that night at Marisol?
39:13I'm not a rat, and I'm not telling us.
39:15I'm not asking you.
39:16No, I'm just saying us, us.
39:19Julia, why are you starting this matter at your own
39:21and baby shower?
39:22OK, I did not say.
39:23That's all I could say.
39:24Did you say?
39:26She was not even invited.
39:29This is not a murder mystery game.
39:31It doesn't matter.
39:32Marisol, I am very sorry.
39:35I thought it was you.
39:36Well, it wasn't me.
39:37I thought it was you.
39:38But then, when I had lunch with Gertie,
39:41a couple of days later, Gertie was like,
39:42well, I was the one that said it.
39:45Gertie?
39:46Yeah.
39:47Somebody from the group told Lisa
39:50what everything Larsa said that night.
39:55Who did?
39:55I did.
39:57It doesn't really matter.
39:59Good.
39:59I should be told because it was about me,
40:02and I wasn't there to defend myself
40:04because I was dealing with my dead dad.
40:06It does matter.
40:07It's like the broken telephone.
40:08Of course it matters.
40:10Not the time and play.
40:11This hasn't even been one week
40:14since I put my dad in the ground.
40:18And no one's understanding that.
40:20Like, why is this even a conversation?
40:26Like, what is wrong with all of you?
40:28Don't you get it?
40:30I'm sorry, Lisa.
40:31I'm sorry, Lisa.
40:33I'm sorry, Lisa.
40:33I didn't want us to have a conversation too late, really.
40:36Who cares?
40:37Just enjoy your dinner.
40:39Well, you're not directed at YouTube.
40:41You guys, this is about you guys.
40:42You guys are doing a beautiful thing.
40:44This is about you guys.
40:44You think I want to talk about this
40:45when I have a dead dad?
40:47This is .
40:48We just...
40:49I don't want it to be about me.
40:50I'm so sorry.
40:51I know.
40:52I love you guys.
40:53I'm so sorry.
40:54Lisa.
40:55No, I didn't want this.
40:57I'm leaving.
40:58I asked all of you not to start this conversation.
41:01I specifically asked for peace and conviviality.
41:06Too bad I'm out of pacifiers
41:07because they all deserve a pacifier shoved in their mouths.
41:11I'm so sorry.
41:12I am so sorry.
41:14I don't want this to be about me.
41:17I'm going to fight at a baby shower.
41:20We need God.
41:21We need help.
41:23We need help.
41:24We need help.
41:25We need help.
41:25We need help.
41:26I'm so sorry.
41:27Sorry.
41:28I don't want to...
41:28I really asked you guys not to start the conversation.
41:31No, I wanted to...
41:32It's okay.
41:32It was not what I did.
41:34I'm so sorry.
41:35I am so sorry.
41:38I just want to go.
41:40You think it was right for Grady to call her and tell her?
41:42No.
41:43Okay, that's all I'm asking.
41:44That's it.
41:44That's it.
41:45We're done.
41:45We're done talking about it.
41:46This is such a warm welcome to me.
41:48I love it.
41:49It's called welcome to the NFL or maybe welcome to the NBA.
41:52What kind of party is this?
41:53I was just asked to have a threesome.
41:55One of the girls was crying leaving.
41:57Where's the food?
41:58It's like survival of the fittest in the table.
42:06On the next episode of the Real Housewives of Miami.
42:09This is beautiful.
42:11These are the mirrors that we're talking about.
42:13You put the quotes on them.
42:14You cannot fix someone who doesn't want to be fixed,
42:17but you can ruin your life trying to do it.
42:19Hello?
42:20It's me.
42:21It's me.
42:21You betrayed my trust.
42:24Do you think of how rude it is to make everybody wait?
42:26Do you think your time is more important than all of ours?
42:29I think you're rude.
42:30Don't ever talk to me like that, okay?
42:32This is bull .
42:33It looks like we've saved this.
42:34Let us watch the Ruined X2.
42:34It looks like we've done a lot of times.
42:34We'll see you next time.
42:34We need to watch that.
42:34We gotta make it.
42:34We need to watch this.
42:35It looks good.
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