- 1 week ago
مسلسل Raising Hope مترجم - Episode 4
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Short filmTranscript
00:09Hey!
00:10Oh, hey.
00:11Can't believe you have shrinky dinks.
00:13I used to love to make these.
00:15You draw the plastic that you put in the oven until it shrinks into a little...
00:18I don't know what you call it.
00:20A dink, I guess.
00:21Yeah, I used to love those things when I was a kid.
00:24Oh, man.
00:25It says ages three and up.
00:26I don't know if I can wait two and a half years to play with these.
00:29So do them yourself.
00:30It'll be fun.
00:31I'll do them with you.
00:33She's coming over.
00:34She's coming over.
00:35We're shrinky dinking.
00:36We're shrinky dinking.
00:37What the heck are you talking about?
00:39Sabrina, we had this amazing conversation about shrinky dinks,
00:42and the whole time I'm thinking, I've met my soulmate.
00:45Did you get any chicken?
00:45Wait, she's coming over here?
00:47What about her boyfriend?
00:48Well, Wyatt, I don't know.
00:49He's away at college still.
00:51I don't really know what this means.
00:52I just know she's coming over.
00:54What's going on with Mama?
00:55She thinks she's in labor.
00:56Oh, my God!
00:58This baby's gonna rip a hole right through me!
01:01Guys, I'm trying to beat the record here.
01:04If you're gonna talk loud, turn your faces away.
01:06The wind is really messing me up.
01:07Oh, that baby!
01:09Okay.
01:10You guys have to get out of here.
01:11I don't want you to scare her away.
01:12I'm not going anywhere.
01:13I like her.
01:14She's sarcastic and funny.
01:17She speaks her mind.
01:18Doesn't she remind you of me?
01:19No.
01:20Oh, don't ever say that again.
01:22You'll ruin it for me.
01:23And if you don't want this to be the last time she ever comes over, you have to get rid
01:26of them.
01:27You need to step way back.
01:28This thing takes some weird bounces.
01:31Fine.
01:32Oh!
01:33Come on.
01:33Did you really think I was gonna stand here and let you break my record?
01:39And I'll take hope too.
01:40But you need to take advantage of this and make a move on this girl.
01:43Try and get her to sit next to you in the center of the couch where it dips.
01:46Ever since your fat aunt broke the springs, two people can't sit there without ending
01:49up in each other's laps.
01:50Good idea.
01:51Give her some wine, get her in the couch dip, and kiss her.
01:54She has a boyfriend.
01:55I don't know if I'll be-
01:56Jimmy, if you don't make a move soon, you're gonna get stuck in the friend zone.
02:00And that is a real thing.
02:02I saw it on Friends.
02:04Ross and Rachel were stuck in it.
02:06It made for some good episodes, but poor Ross was in hell.
02:37Here we go.
02:38Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.
02:43It says these are supposed to cook for three minutes, but this oven only goes up to 225,
02:47so we may be in for a bit of a wait.
02:49That's okay.
02:51Your house has a lot of cool stuff in it.
02:54Who plays the piano?
02:55Pretty much anybody who's trying to get on someone else's nerves.
03:00Is this you?
03:02Oh, heh.
03:03You don't wanna look through that.
03:04That's just a bunch of boring family portraits.
03:06Come on, I love family photos.
03:08Ah!
03:09Oh, wow.
03:10You were, like, shockingly strong.
03:19How come your mom's the only one that looks happy in all these?
03:21Yeah, well, that's a little misleading.
03:24Nobody's happy.
03:26My parents would fight so much on picture day that it always turned into the worst day
03:30of the year.
03:30Just shut up and put on your beret.
03:33No, I don't wanna look like a dork wearing this.
03:35If you don't wanna look like a dork, then you need to take off your face.
03:38Ah!
03:39Say cheese!
03:42And the more portraits that turned out bad, the more stressed my mother seemed to get.
03:47If we get there late, they won't have time to change the backdrop from the family before
03:52us.
03:53You're killing me, Bert!
03:59Your mother's crazy.
04:02If I ever get that crazy, I want you to take me out in the backyard and blow my head
04:05off
04:05with a shotgun.
04:06You got that?
04:08I just don't understand why we're wearing ski suits.
04:11I've never been skiing.
04:12I saw a picture in a house I was cleaning where the whole family went skiing.
04:16They were all smiling.
04:17They were on top of a mountain.
04:19It looked like a lot of fun.
04:20Of course it looked like a lot of fun.
04:22They were skiing.
04:23They weren't sitting in a car with no air conditioning on a 90 degree day wearing ski
04:27suits.
04:27Shut up.
04:31Ooh, I like this song.
04:32Do-whack-a-doo, whack-a-doo, whack-a-doo.
04:35I'm not in the mood for do-whack-a-doo.
04:37Oh, yeah.
04:38Do-whack-a-doo, whack-a-doo, whack-a-doo, whack-a-doo, whack-a-doo.
04:43Bert, I swear to God if you don't turn that thing off.
04:46Bert, send that.
04:48I can't.
04:48My boot's stuck.
04:49What do you mean your boot's stuck?
04:51I mean your stupid giant boots make me wear stuck.
04:53I can't get it out!
04:54Yeah.
04:57Who did he die?
04:58You had a good life, kid.
05:01Yeah, no.
05:03I wish I had-
05:04Ah, ah!
05:06You had to do, whack-a-doo, whack-a-doo, whack-a-doo, whack-a-doo, da-doo, da-do,
05:11da-do, da-do, da-do.
05:13I could drive if you let me take off this stupid boot!
05:15Shut up!
05:16It's two blocks!
05:17Keep walking.
05:21All right.
05:22That's enough of that.
05:24You gotta be tired from being on your feet all day
05:27We should sit down
05:30Sorry, sorry
05:31Hope threw her pacifier in that coin fountain at the mall
05:35Bert made a wish on it
05:36So he wouldn't let us take it back out
05:39Hi
05:40How are you?
05:42I'm good
05:42Did you do your shrinky things?
05:44Yep, and we were just about to sit down
05:46Jimmy was just telling me about some of your family portraits
05:50Really?
05:52I hope you didn't say anything to make me look too crazy
05:56Doesn't Hope need her pacifier?
05:58She can suck on Bert's knuckle for a while
06:01Come here, honey
06:02I want to tell you about a couple of these
06:06I want to make sure you see the kind of idiots I'm dealing with
06:09Before you think I'm the crazy one
06:14Whoa
06:16This is some couch
06:18Sure is
06:24What are you doing coming in there and using the dip before I get a chance?
06:27You're totally couch blocking me
06:28Jimmy, you could end up marrying this girl
06:30I am not going to let you paint me out to be the crazy mother-in-law
06:34You already made me a stinking grandmother at 39
06:37Jimmy, are you missing a clump of hair in this photo?
06:41Yes, he is
06:43He ate it
06:44Excuse me?
06:45Someone stressed me out so much
06:47That I started pulling out my hair and eating it as a nervous twitch
06:49You look awful
06:51Why didn't you just shave your head?
06:53Oh, God, no
06:54He's got a birthmark on his head that looks like a big old
06:56Florida
06:57Shaped like Florida
06:59Florida with balls
07:02Hey, how come your husband's not in this one?
07:04Oh
07:04Oh, that's the year Bert went crazy
07:11Jimmy, you better be getting dressed
07:17Bert, don't you stretch out that turtleneck
07:19It's too tight
07:20I can't swallow
07:21My mouth is filling up with spit
07:23I want soup
07:24You're eating soup
07:26Jimmy!
07:27I'm here
07:28I'm ready
07:29I'm sorry
07:31Oh, no
07:33Not the hair pulling
07:34We are not having another family portrait
07:36Where you look like you just had brain surgery
07:38It's your fault for stressing them out
07:40Well, just calm down
07:41Just calm the hell down
07:42I'm trying
07:43Just calm down
07:46Everybody check each other's teeth
07:47I don't want to see any of that cream spinach we had last night
08:00Stop it, Mama
08:01This is not food
08:03This tag is digging in the back of my neck
08:05Do not pull that tag off
08:06These outfits cost a fortune
08:08And the second we're done here
08:09They're going right back to Fashion Barn Outlet Outlet
08:13Damn it
08:17Where's your eyebrow?
08:19I ate it
08:20I'm sorry
08:20I can't do this anymore
08:22Excuse me?
08:23I can't stand here and watch you torture everyone like this
08:25Get back here
08:29I'll pull it
08:29You pull that tag off
08:31We can't make our next credit card payment
08:34That means a finance charge
08:36You know how I feel about finance charges
08:40Then you walk out of here
08:42And no one has to pay a finance charge
08:44Pat
08:44Stay calm
08:48Fine, go
08:49We'll take it without you
08:50We'll take it without you
08:50It'll probably be the first good one we've ever had
08:55Son of a bitch
08:59See, it's not me
09:01It's them
09:02They're the crazy ones
09:03Yeah, well, whoever's fault it is
09:04It's only once a year on portrait day
09:06Every other day we're just a normal family
09:09Sorry
09:10Mama needs new pants
09:12Her water broke
09:14I feel his head
09:15Virginia, you're gonna need to come back here
09:17I don't...
09:18I don't...
09:19I don't think I can do this alone
09:21Your family's amazing
09:23You actually like this?
09:26I love it
09:26Oh my God, and your mother
09:28She doesn't even realize that she's the craziest one of them all
09:31This is great
09:32I may never leave
09:34Why would you?
09:40What kind of cookies are these?
09:42Don't eat that
09:43Those are Shrinky Dings
09:44See, I made ones that look like all of us
09:48And that's Sabrina
09:50Well, don't worry
09:51I'll try to keep the loony bin back there
09:52Oh, don't worry about it
09:53In fact, bring Mama out
09:55We can let Sabrina cut the imaginary cord
09:57Turns out, she's a big fan
10:00Big fan of what?
10:01How crazy we are
10:02Especially you, so...
10:04Thanks
10:04But I'm not crazy
10:06I already told her that
10:07Oh, that's what she loves
10:08That you are, but you don't realize you are
10:10But I'm not
10:11Well, you kind of are
10:13I'm kind of not
10:14Okay, look
10:15This is all great stuff
10:16Just save it for in there
10:18Oh, I'll save it for in there, all right
10:20She thinks I'm crazy
10:22Let's see how much crazy she can handle
10:24Virginia!
10:25Help!
10:26She's pushing!
10:27Deal with it!
10:33So
10:36I hear you think I'm crazy
10:39Yes, I said you were a little crazy
10:43But in a good way
10:44You did tell her it was in a good way, right?
10:46He told me what you said
10:47Okay, maybe I should go before we all end up on daylight
10:50No, you can't go
10:51You haven't seen all the family portraits yet
10:53She seemed funny
10:54Let's do something else
10:56Checkers
10:56Got regular
10:58Chinese
10:59Kind with the horses
11:00Here it is
11:01The last picture
11:03You're like crazy?
11:05You're gonna love this
11:09What's that?
11:11The portrait place is having a special on Sunday
11:13I thought we weren't doing portraits anymore
11:14Why, because your father lost his mind?
11:17We have a new baby in the house
11:18And we are getting our family portrait with or without him
11:21Without
11:26Look, Jimmy, I waited too long to stand up to her about this portrait thing
11:30Look at you
11:31Even the thought of it turns you into a wreck
11:34Don't wait until Hope's eating her hair
11:36It's disgusting
11:37Be a better dad than me
11:40I'm going with a 50s theme this year
11:42You can slick your hair back
11:44Maybe that'll keep you from eating it like a mental patient
11:49Hey, Mom
11:52Maybe we shouldn't do the picture?
11:57What?
11:58It's just, it kind of stresses you out
12:01Which kind of stresses me out
12:02And, well, uh, there's a reason why we don't have a picture with everyone smiling in it
12:08You told them to do this
12:10Yep
12:11The only reason I'm stressed out is because I'm the one who has to organize everything
12:16It's like wrangling feral cats
12:18I would be happy to sit back and let somebody else guide the ship
12:22But it's been 24 years and no one else seems to want to take the damn reins
12:26Fine
12:27I'll do it
12:28What?
12:29I'll take the reins of the cat ship
12:32If he's in charge, I'm back in
12:37Fine
12:39Hey, when you took over the portrait stuff, you forgot to tell me what our theme is going to be
12:44We've only got three days, so you might want to nail that down
12:46Um, no theme this year
12:47We're all just going to wear whatever we're comfortable in
12:52Okie doke
12:57Hey, I know you probably know this, but we've only got two days before the portrait
13:02And I noticed that you haven't plucked Mama's neck mole yet
13:05You have to do it early enough so the redness goes away
13:07But late enough so it doesn't start to grow back
13:09It's a pretty small window of opportunity
13:12Yeah, that always stresses everyone out with all the yelling and the holding her down and all
13:17You're the only one that ever really notices that hair, so I think I'm just going to let her go
13:21oh natural this year
13:23Okie doke
13:28Tomorrow's picture day
13:28You got a shower schedule? We've only got 12 minutes of warm water
13:32Yeah, we're not going to rush in the morning
13:34I didn't want everybody freaking out over being late
13:36So I figured we'd just get over there when we got over there
13:39You know we get a dishwasher safe portrait plate if we get there before 8am
13:43Yeah, I know
13:44But since it's kind of creepy seeing the whole family staring at you through a plate of spaghetti
13:48I figured it didn't matter
13:52Okie doke
13:56Next
14:01You know I said there wasn't going to be a theme, right?
14:04I know
14:05You told us to dress in something we were comfortable in, this is comfortable
14:11Smile
14:15Thanks mom, I know this is Harvey
14:18Next
14:30Okay, how would you guys like to pose?
14:34I think this looks good
14:36That's easy, let's do this
14:38Here we go
14:40One
14:41Two
14:42Stop!
14:46This is crazy
14:48This picture is going to be terrible
14:50Virginia
14:50Look at you people, there's no theme
14:52How is anybody supposed to know we're a family?
14:55We look like a bunch of idiots who just met each other at a thrift store
14:58We're not even posing
14:59I mean, come on, pick something
15:03Arm in arm
15:04Shoulder train
15:06Congo line
15:07Wrappers
15:08Anything
15:09Damn it
15:10At the very least we should be all facing away from the camera and look over our shoulders
15:16Mom, settle down
15:18It's okay
15:19It is not okay, Jimmy, it is not okay
15:22Because the picture isn't perfect
15:24And if the picture isn't perfect, there isn't any reason to take it
15:27Oh, for God's sake, am I the only one who sees that giant tree branch of a hair growing out
15:34of the side of Mama's neck?
15:47Ah
15:48Hey
15:49You okay?
15:50No
15:53Jimmy's paying, let me get out of here
15:57I think the one picture that guy took could be alright
16:00Not the worst one we've ever had
16:06Why does the picture have to be perfect?
16:09Because everyone else's is
16:11Who?
16:12Everyone
16:14You don't understand
16:16You clean people's pools, you cut their grass, you're outside
16:21I'm cleaning the inside
16:24Every house I clean has these perfect family portraits
16:28Everyone's happy and smiling
16:32I just wanted one perfect portrait
16:37I could fool people into thinking we have whatever all those other families have
16:42But we don't
16:48Every house has a good picture?
16:50Yes
16:52What other nice stuff they got in there?
16:54You don't wanna know
17:04This one is dedicated to Joe
17:06In the Woodlands
17:10I hear tell you're doing well
17:13Good things have come to you
17:15I wish I had your happiness
17:18And you had a do-wack-a-do
17:20Wack-a-do
17:21Wack-a-do
17:21Wack-a-do
17:22Wack-a-do
17:27Wack-a-do
17:28Wack-a-do
17:30Wack-a-do
17:30Wack-a-do
17:30Wack-a-do
17:32Wack-a-do
17:33Wack-a-do
17:34Wack-a-do
17:36Wack-a-do
17:37Wack-a-do
17:37Wack-a-do
17:38Wack-a-do
17:38Wack-a-do
17:38Wack-a-do
17:38Wack-a-do
17:38Wack-a-do
17:43Wack-a-do
17:45Well, you're doing well, good things continue to do.
17:49Wish I had your good luck charm, and you had a doo-wack-a-doo,
18:04wack-a-doo, wack-a-doo, wack-a-doo, wack-a-doo.
18:07Yeah, you're going down the street in your big Cadillac.
18:09You got girls in the front, you got girls in the back, yeah,
18:12way in the back, got money in the sack, both hands on the wheel,
18:16and your shoulders rear back.
18:20I hear tell you're doing well, good things have come to you.
18:25Wish I had your happiness, and you had a doo-wack-a-doo,
18:30wack-a-doo, wack-a-doo, wack-a-doo, wack-a-doo, wack-a-doo.
18:44How about that?
18:46I like it.
18:48Sure you do.
18:49It's another crazy thing to make fun of our family about.
18:51You want to go in the other room and have a look at my grandmother's inverted nipples?
18:55How about our bank statement? That's a hoot.
18:58I think it's a great picture.
19:00I mean, my family has all those portraits that you're talking about,
19:03and, you know, we're all smiling, but somebody told us when to smile,
19:06so those smiles are fake.
19:08All these smiles are real.
19:12You captured a moment of actual family joy, and that's kind of rare.
19:19I think you finally got your picture.
19:25I like her, Jimmy.
19:27Smart.
19:29Insightful.
19:31I told you we had a lot in common.
19:33You're staying for dinner.
19:35We're having TV dinners.
19:37If you're a vegetarian, I'm pretty sure you can talk Bert
19:40into trading you his vegetable section for your Salisbury steak section.
19:46She hit ignore.
19:47What?
19:48She hit ignore.
19:49Her boyfriend just called, and she hit ignore.
19:50What does that mean?
19:51My phone doesn't have an ignore.
19:53When I ignore someone, I just ignore them.
19:55I don't know.
19:55I don't have ignore either.
19:57But this is good, right?
19:58Go kiss her.
19:59What?
20:00Go kiss her.
20:01Now.
20:01It's time.
20:02I'm telling you.
20:02You need to do it before it's too late.
20:04Go!
20:07Two pounds, three ounces.
20:09Mother is resting comfortably.
20:13Thanks for having me over.
20:14This was really fun.
20:15Huh.
20:21I gotta admit, I was a little nervous about you learning so much about my family.
20:26I thought it might scare you off.
20:27Oh, no way.
20:28No, just the opposite.
20:32However, if you meet a girl that you want to date, you know, like not just a friend,
20:36you might want to hold off on showing her the family photo album for a couple months.
20:40Yeah, that might be a good idea.
20:42Yeah.
20:42Waited too long.
20:45Just like Ross.
20:49Just like Ross.
20:53Maybe I did wait too long.
20:56But I did learn one thing today.
20:58Sabrina likes me.
21:00Now, right now, it might just be as a friend, but who knows?
21:07She was enjoying hanging out with me enough to ignore a call from her boyfriend.
21:12Maybe one day she'll be willing to ignore them all together.
21:29Yep, I thought that was a little too easy.
21:32Bye.
21:33Bye.
21:36Bye.
21:36Adios, amigos.
21:38Thanks for watchin'.
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