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  • 2 days ago
The Wind In Her Hands
Transcript
00:00:28Transcribed by ESO, translated by —
00:00:30I am the breath of being, the primal urge of things, I am the whirl of stardust, I am the
00:00:47lift of wings, I am the splendid impulse that comes before the thought.
00:01:00The joy and exaltation wherein the life is called.
00:01:59Transcribed by ESO, translated by —
00:01:59I was like, I was like, I'm not gonna stay behind, but look at her, like, all of them are
00:02:04over, so.
00:02:05It's gonna be a week of risk management, damage limitation kind of stuff.
00:02:23Hi.
00:02:24Hello.
00:02:25I'm Elena, Switzerland 130.
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00:04:03There's a lot of noise in the head and nothing happened.
00:04:09I had to leave myself on my body and on the feeling of working together with the wind and not
00:04:15against the wind.
00:04:18With the pressure on the sail, with the pressure on your feet.
00:04:22Then it's the one second, when you lose yourself from the water.
00:04:26And the swimming pool is completely silent.
00:04:34Then it feels like flying.
00:04:37You're swimming.
00:05:05There's a lot of water field outside.
00:05:20They're wearing surfaces with shallot Chopra 3.
00:05:24There's a lot of water field on your feet.
00:05:29Here's some water and pow.
00:05:33how are you girls shall we start with a little update before we get into today's episode about
00:05:39our dear friend elena i'm very excited for it i just woke up half an hour ago and i was
00:05:46upside
00:05:46down in my bed and i feel like that is the perfect description anyways you wrestle that self
00:06:12mir wurde ziemlich schnell klar nachdem ich begonnen habe mit dem windsurfen dass
00:06:18mir diese kampagne nicht reicht ich hatte das gefühl ist einfach zu egoistisch und
00:06:25habe dann wo der fans gegründet wo der fans ist eigentlich ein olympisches windsurf team für
00:06:30frauen erstens stelle ich henry an als coach für die firma und wollten dann aber so ein
00:06:36bisschen mehr auch daraus aufbauen von frauen inspirieren so ein bisschen ihr eigenes ding
00:06:42zu machen manchmal ist es sehr schwer auszubrechen aus der struktur in der man vielleicht groß geworden
00:06:48ist ohne wirklich zu merken so hey ich habe das irgendwie einfach aus gewohnheit bin ich so dem
00:07:11weg gefolgt
00:07:26If I can do something like that, then I have to do it.
00:07:32What I have, I will have earned.
00:07:35But, like always, I took something I love,
00:07:39and I'm getting it back to the value,
00:07:41so that I have to become the best.
00:07:44I laugh because I'm on the start line with women,
00:07:48who have already been professionally windsurfed,
00:07:51and have more times in Olympia.
00:07:54Then I come here with five Wettkämpfen
00:07:57and I'm ready to be so fast as they are.
00:08:17The wind wins always.
00:08:20No one is stronger than the wind.
00:08:22You have to know how uncomfortable the wind is,
00:08:26when you fight against it.
00:08:28The wind spiegels almost almost their own attitude to the wind.
00:08:33If I'm frustrated and frustrated,
00:08:36you feel like the wind makes it even more.
00:08:38You see a trap of the wind playing air.
00:08:43I can't see damage.
00:08:44Be careful.
00:08:59Have you seen an end of the mane of the...
00:09:06.
00:09:11From this total nobody, from the Hobbysurfer,
00:09:16in four years to set the goal,
00:09:18to go to Olympia.
00:09:21It was actually a impossible idea.
00:09:27What's great about the sport is,
00:09:29that the whole person plays into it.
00:09:31So you have to deal with this whole mental story
00:09:37very actively.
00:09:39You can set yourself into books
00:09:42and deal with it a bit differently,
00:09:46but in the sport comes it directly out.
00:09:55Let's say, first of all,
00:09:57on the waist.
00:09:58That's right?
00:09:59Yes, exactly.
00:10:02Now you're one kilo lighter than the last one.
00:10:05Fuck, no.
00:10:07I've eaten more, more.
00:10:08I've eaten more.
00:10:09No, I'll tell you.
00:10:11So much more food?
00:10:13But calories, I've seen.
00:10:19Jesus Christ!
00:10:21Hey, I'm already down.
00:10:24What the fuck?
00:10:24What the fuck?
00:10:25That's what we've already discussed.
00:10:26Or a lot of food.
00:10:28And I think that's also super important
00:10:30for your mind.
00:10:31For me to know that the more I eat,
00:10:33the more I lose weight I lose.
00:10:34Yeah.
00:10:47I think that the statistics say that
00:10:4920% of men with Magersucht
00:10:53die sterben.
00:10:56I want to be better than that.
00:11:00I wanna be better at the same time.
00:11:01I want to go to the same time.
00:11:02And I want to be better at the same time,
00:11:05I want to be better at the same time.
00:11:06but I'm 14 and I want to do everything
00:11:07and I want to do everything without anything.
00:11:20I think it has a lot to do with that I have to connect my weight very quickly with Leistung.
00:11:27I knew that I was able to get attention when I have good notes.
00:11:31And as a middle child I might forget.
00:11:38I was just young to stop this.
00:11:42It's a disease. I changed myself completely.
00:11:45I had no friends anymore. I couldn't laugh anymore.
00:11:48I had no energy to laugh.
00:11:54Irgendwann merkt man es schon.
00:11:56Sie wurde natürlich dünner und dünner.
00:11:58Und dann war irgendwann klar,
00:12:00jetzt hat sie es eben nicht mehr unter Kontrolle.
00:12:04Und natürlich, wir haben ihr die Psychotherapie
00:12:07und die psychiatrische Behandlung.
00:12:10All das haben wir ihr ermöglicht.
00:12:12Sie hat es auch angenommen.
00:12:13Aber wir wussten auch die Macht daraus, was sie will.
00:12:17Mit den Fachleuten hat sie zeitweise ihr Spiel gespielt.
00:12:24Wir mussten ja dann entscheiden,
00:12:26schicken wir sie in diesem Zustand,
00:12:28also sie war wirklich untergewichtig maximal,
00:12:32nach Australien in dieses Auslandjahr.
00:12:36Und haben uns dann entschieden, sie in dieses Auslandjahr zu schicken.
00:12:40Mit grössten Ängsten.
00:12:42Ob das gut kommt, ob sie überhaupt zurückkommt.
00:12:47Aber sie und nur sie allein kann sich da wieder raus retten.
00:12:52Und ich hatte Angst, sie würde das nicht überleben, zeitweise.
00:13:18Sobald man zunimmt, dann denken die Leute so, es ist geheilt.
00:13:21Aber dann, die Recovery ist viel schlimmer als die Magersucht selbst.
00:13:26Das wird sicher auch mal noch was, was ich angucken muss.
00:13:29Aber im Moment ist es halt schwierig.
00:13:31Da gibt es nicht so viel Platz dafür.
00:13:33Komm, komm, komm, komm. Ganz hoch, ganz hoch, Ellbogen nah.
00:13:35Langsam runter.
00:13:36Kontrolle, Füße vorne lassen.
00:13:38Langsam runter, ganz runter, bis in die volle Streckung.
00:13:41Here we go. Nice.
00:13:44Ich habe wirklich das Gefühl, dass es ein Jahr,
00:13:47sicher zwei Jahre braucht, bis du das komplett abschalten kannst.
00:13:49Ja.
00:13:50Bis der Körper und der Kopf endlich verstehen,
00:13:53dass du mehr Essen brauchst.
00:13:55Ja.
00:13:56Dieser Prozess braucht einfach diese Zeit.
00:13:59Ja.
00:14:01Und das ist auch okay, dass wir denen das geben können, weißt du.
00:14:04Mhm.
00:14:04Wie gesagt, wenn wir ein bisschen immer Fortschritt machen,
00:14:06ein Prozent mehr, jeden Monat.
00:14:08Weil nach zwölf Monaten sind es zwölf Prozent.
00:14:12Dann komm ich noch, Skin and Bones.
00:14:13Nach vier Jahren.
00:14:15Weißt du, was ich meine?
00:14:16Ja.
00:14:16Oder?
00:14:17Vier Jahre sehe ich dann aus wie Simon Beiles oder so.
00:14:20Fettes Sixpack.
00:14:23Kein Gramm Fett.
00:14:42Ich weiß noch genau, es gab einen Tag, wo ich gemerkt habe,
00:14:45ich kann Farben wieder sehen.
00:14:47Und ich glaube, da habe ich gemerkt, wie fucking toll das Leben eigentlich ist.
00:14:51Als ich so da rausgekommen bin.
00:14:54Ich habe eine zweite Chance gekriegt, die viele nicht kriegen.
00:14:58Und alles, was ich jetzt machen kann, will ich machen.
00:15:01Und habe mir einfach geschworen, dass ich es nutzen werde, das Leben.
00:15:07Das Winzer im Netz, das ist meine absolute Passion.
00:15:10Und ich finde es unglaublich schön, dass ich mit Menschen an einem Ziel arbeiten kann,
00:15:14das sehr hoch gesteckt ist natürlich.
00:15:16Aber dass es auch voll möglich ist, das jetzt zu erreichen.
00:15:19Das gibt einem natürlich ein gutes Gefühl und Bestätigung in dem Sinn.
00:15:23Es ist nicht nur eine Flucht, es ist auch einfach wirklich eine Passion.
00:15:49Also das ist der Segelclub Menedorf.
00:15:51Und hier habe ich mein ganz erstes Winzerfsegel so aufgerollt und gestickert.
00:15:56Ich habe auch noch irgendwo ein Foto hier im Clubhouse, wo ich das gemacht habe.
00:15:59Und dann mein erstes Foto, wo ich so das Segel so aufgestellt habe und mich fotografiert habe.
00:16:03Und das war noch bevor ich es überhaupt benutzt habe.
00:16:06Also bevor ich überhaupt wollen gelernt habe.
00:16:16Ich weiß nicht, ob ich es nochmal machen würde.
00:16:18Aber es war auf jeden Fall keine bewusste Entscheidung.
00:16:20Also ich begreif es nicht, weil ich finde, es wäre mehr als verständlich gewesen, hätte ich aufgehört.
00:16:43Die ersten zwei Jahre waren das so ein bisschen meine Ziele, dass ich meine Skills auf dem Brett aufbaue.
00:16:48Weil ich konnte ja nichts, kannte wirklich nicht mal den Kurs.
00:16:51Also das ist das erste Mal gefahren, wenn ich nicht mal wo lang.
00:17:01Zweite Session, oder?
00:17:03Yes.
00:17:04Aber nicht lange, ich bin mega müde.
00:17:07Aber heute ist der Wind einfach gut, ich muss es ausnutzen.
00:17:10Obwohl ich gerade von anderen gehört, die draussen waren, dass es sehr wellig ist.
00:17:14Das ist deshalb ...
00:17:15... mal schauen ...
00:17:19... auf ein neues Käfen.
00:17:21Viel zu groß.
00:17:23Aber ...
00:17:24... heute muss es lange.
00:17:30...
00:17:31...
00:17:56...
00:17:57...
00:17:58...
00:18:26…
00:18:26...
00:18:26...
00:18:56I just have to, just like...
00:19:28Oh...
00:19:30Better give the world surprise...
00:19:32At great achieved from small...
00:19:38Then start so high...
00:19:41That nothing lies...
00:19:43Before you but a fall...
00:20:02I'm here for the world championships...
00:20:05IQ foil...
00:20:07And they are quite important...
00:20:09Because it's the first Olympic qualifier...
00:20:11That means it's the first time...
00:20:13Where athletes can qualify for the Olympic games...
00:20:16And I have respect for them...
00:20:39I am stealing Max Beeman's spot, so...
00:20:42There you go.
00:20:43Yeah.
00:20:43Why?
00:20:44For measurement.
00:20:45Oh, right, OK.
00:20:46Mine's like tomorrow morning at 10.
00:20:48Yeah, far.
00:20:49You can't hit that.
00:20:50Yeah.
00:20:53Where are we?
00:20:55Uh...
00:20:55Well, I'm...
00:20:55I'm in the position for Max Beeman...
00:20:57Because he is sick.
00:20:58Oh.
00:20:58I was just trying to find out...
00:21:00If Max was sailing or not.
00:21:01He isn't.
00:21:02But he gave me his spot to measure.
00:21:04But he's not sailing?
00:21:05No. No, he's...
00:21:07Then why are we measuring his gear?
00:21:08No, no, it's my...
00:21:10But my spot would've been a lot later...
00:21:12And I came by yesterday...
00:21:13To ask if I could take his spot.
00:21:15You have a spot?
00:21:16Right.
00:21:16And you take more spots?
00:21:18Right.
00:21:20We're not supervising the spot.
00:21:21Amazing.
00:21:22Thanks.
00:21:24How come I don't have you?
00:21:26I filled everything out online, as I was told.
00:21:29When did you fill it out?
00:21:31Are you sure you did hit the deadline?
00:21:32I have to come...
00:21:34They decided that I still have to go, like, with the Swiss tomorrow.
00:21:39They can't find any of my measurements.
00:21:41It happened to be for in Greece.
00:21:43Like, they deleted everything from me.
00:21:44They didn't have any, like, none of my details.
00:21:46So now, I have to do it again, and they want to give me a penalty.
00:21:53I definitely got an email that said, thanks for registering, blah, blah, blah.
00:21:58Do you get a penalty?
00:21:59Yeah.
00:21:59How much?
00:22:00I don't know.
00:22:04I am currently coaching an international team of girls put together by Elena.
00:22:12It's a massive, huge project to undertake.
00:22:16It's crazy.
00:22:17It's ridiculous.
00:22:18I mean, you have to certainly be determined.
00:22:23Should have done it again now, then?
00:22:25I think let's go in and just talk to them again and say...
00:22:31We'll say, what the fuck, man?
00:22:33You're late.
00:22:34There's a standard penalty without hearing.
00:22:37Oh, my God.
00:22:38Did you learn that lesson?
00:22:40Yeah.
00:22:41Thanks.
00:22:41I have.
00:22:44Certainly, the progress that we're making isn't slowing down.
00:22:47She's sailing the best she ever has.
00:22:49But you just have to have so much faith in the fact that, you know, there's a chance of achieving
00:22:58the impossible.
00:23:04Oh, I'm an idiot.
00:23:05I cry and I'm last.
00:23:07And then I cry because I'm last and I go last again.
00:23:11What's going on?
00:23:13Nothing.
00:23:13I'm just tired.
00:23:14I'm fucking annoyed that they... with the measurement thingy.
00:23:17So, I got a penalty.
00:23:18Yeah.
00:23:19I don't know.
00:23:21I really don't feel like sailing anymore.
00:23:23Now what?
00:23:24I don't feel like sailing.
00:23:26Maybe.
00:23:27It might be kind of a good thing.
00:23:28Like, pressures off a little bit more.
00:23:31You know?
00:23:32You already...
00:23:32I don't think...
00:23:33I don't think I need it off anymore.
00:23:35It's already...
00:23:36The competition has already become a comeback.
00:23:43I don't know.
00:23:44I can't decide.
00:23:45Like, on one hand, I'm like, I just want to go back to bed.
00:23:47I'm really exhausted.
00:23:48On the other hand, I'm like, should I...
00:23:55Are youコ...
00:23:59Completely confirmed?
00:24:01No, no, no, no.
00:24:01Nothing.
00:24:06I'm not gonna go back to the bathroom.
00:24:07Sorry.
00:24:11That was so weird.
00:24:12Get in there.
00:24:14Why were you Piping taking out the bathroom...
00:24:14No, no, no, no.
00:24:16Your going last few things tween?
00:24:19Oh, my God.
00:24:59Oh, my God.
00:25:22Ich fand Rennfahren Horror.
00:25:24Nichts hat funktioniert und alles hat mir wehgetan.
00:25:27Also sobald's nicht gut klappt, werde ich wütend.
00:25:30Und dann gibt's so eine downward spiral, einfach so eine Spirale abwärts.
00:25:34Und ich kann die bis jetzt, konnte ich die nicht wirklich stoppen.
00:26:05Who has seen the wind?
00:26:07Who has seen the wind?
00:26:09Neither you nor I.
00:26:13But when the trees bow down their heads,
00:26:17the wind is passing by.
00:26:42Das ist sehr einfach, das Windserflied alles unglaublich darzustellen.
00:26:47We travel a lot, we are on nice places, but it's not all gold, what glänzt.
00:26:54It's very difficult for all athletes, because it's expected from us,
00:26:57that we train on a level, live and give everything to us,
00:27:02also for the friends, but it will be paid for anything.
00:27:11I often try to fly with the bus,
00:27:13and not fly, because flying material is pretty cheap.
00:27:18Accommodation comes also to it, so I sleep on a bus.
00:27:22I had the illusion that it would be cheaper.
00:27:30I know, as I got my bus,
00:27:32it went to the Gericht that your father bought it.
00:27:35It made me so wütend,
00:27:37because I didn't explain it,
00:27:40even if my father bought it,
00:27:41so what?
00:27:43And secondly, I worked myself.
00:27:48I finance myself with sponsors,
00:27:50and that's the only way I can finance myself,
00:27:52because working doesn't work right now,
00:27:55because you don't have time for it.
00:27:57But I'm also not in the band.
00:28:01Many people also listen to it,
00:28:02because financially it's not accessible.
00:28:05Sometimes I'm like,
00:28:06can I eat today,
00:28:07or do I have to buy a new seat,
00:28:08because I have to buy it?
00:28:19No one will serve to become rich.
00:28:22Like, we have a budget, certainly,
00:28:24to take us up to the Olympics,
00:28:26and then we will see.
00:28:30There's a lot of urgency behind that,
00:28:32because without financial backing of sponsors
00:28:34and or federations,
00:28:37everything just grinds to a halt instantly.
00:28:40People really think it's easy, though.
00:28:43In the winter thing,
00:28:44like, you don't really have a lot of marketing options.
00:28:47It is really good for them to be able to say,
00:28:49like, oh, yeah,
00:28:49we support, like, women in sports,
00:28:51or we support, like, youth.
00:28:54I don't know,
00:28:55sometimes they were just not interested anymore.
00:28:59We need to join this meeting.
00:29:00We need to join this meeting.
00:29:00Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:29:01It's a very...
00:29:02Feel free to...
00:29:03Get out of here!
00:29:05Oh!
00:29:05Bye-bye.
00:29:07See ya.
00:29:07See ya.
00:29:08Ready?
00:29:08Mm-hmm.
00:29:10Hey, how are you doing?
00:29:11Hi, Mark.
00:29:12I'm good. How are you?
00:29:14I'm good, thanks.
00:29:15How's the training been?
00:29:16Yeah.
00:29:17Brilliant.
00:29:17Brilliant.
00:29:18Tough.
00:29:21She has worked so, so hard
00:29:23to build up good relationships with sponsors.
00:29:26The qualification is an extra.
00:29:28Many contracts are in 2024.
00:29:30This is just last year.
00:29:32This year I lost a sponsor.
00:29:34Now, I'm losing a sponsor.
00:29:36However, for next year,
00:29:37I am around, like, 35,000.
00:29:41So I would like to really double that,
00:29:43at least, in order to kind of finance everything.
00:29:47On the other hand, obviously,
00:29:49depending on whether the qualification works out
00:29:51and whether I have good results,
00:29:54I'll get into this with a sailing team.
00:29:57Mir fehlen 30,000, 40,000 Euro.
00:29:59Das ist viel Geld.
00:30:01Andererseits,
00:30:01sobald ich dann im Schweizer Elite-Team bin
00:30:03oder im Olympischen Team,
00:30:04kriegt man auch Unterstützung vom Verband.
00:30:07We're going to smash you next week later.
00:30:08Yeah, I'll do my best.
00:30:10Very late, man.
00:30:12Bye now.
00:30:22Dann sind wir an den Gardasee gefahren,
00:30:24um dann Weckkampf zu machen.
00:30:28Mein erstes internationales Podium.
00:30:31Und ich war eigentlich fünfter,
00:30:33also in der ganzen Woche.
00:30:34Und dann im Medal Race
00:30:35konnte ich noch mal zwei Plätze gut machen.
00:30:44She'd been racing phenomenally that day,
00:30:46like, really, really well.
00:30:48I felt her feelings that she really wanted
00:30:51to prove to herself that all the hard work she was putting in
00:30:54was paying off.
00:30:55I'm quietly confident, definitely.
00:30:57We're in a good place.
00:31:00That was a huge end point for me.
00:31:03I had more believe in myself,
00:31:05that I can achieve it.
00:31:07Everything I gave up,
00:31:08all the pain,
00:31:09all the money that I put in it,
00:31:11all the hours on the water,
00:31:12which were really not good,
00:31:14also not nice.
00:31:15That was all worth it.
00:31:17For me.
00:31:18Now,
00:31:46that there was no excellent
00:32:01Oh, my God.
00:32:18Here you go, Henry.
00:32:21Come to the table.
00:32:28Are you guys going already to the club?
00:32:30Yeah, we're driving.
00:32:31Elayna needs to sort her board out because it was a bit shit yesterday, her rake angle.
00:32:35We're meeting rigged for 2 o'clock, 30-minute warm-up.
00:32:38Warm-up?
00:32:40Racing and then done.
00:32:41Yeah, not a big session.
00:32:43Okay. Yeah, like in 20 minutes, I'll be there.
00:32:46Go.
00:32:521.3 is like fucking high lift for me.
00:32:55Great.
00:32:56Yeah.
00:32:59Like...
00:33:00Yeah, way too low for Matt.
00:33:02I mean, it makes sense. How heavy are you, like 100?
00:33:0695.
00:33:0695.
00:33:07Yeah.
00:33:09All right.
00:33:10Give it to Ali.
00:33:11I have no idea what to do.
00:33:14Hiya, Ali.
00:33:14There's the physical side of things.
00:33:16So, the heavier you are on a foil, the faster you are, basically.
00:33:20In the men's fleet, you want to be at about 100 kilos, 95 kilos.
00:33:24And the women's up to 75, maybe 78, 79, which is obviously a lot.
00:33:30And it's a massive demand for the girls.
00:33:32And realistically, the class has been developed more around the male athlete than the female athlete.
00:33:41Oh, fuck yeah.
00:33:43Jesus, what's in here?
00:33:45Nothing.
00:33:45What are you snuggling?
00:33:46The women are just as smaller men.
00:33:49Men have a lot longer arm.
00:33:51We are almost the same material as them.
00:33:54But we are 20 centimeters shorter and 40 kilos lighter.
00:33:58What are you guys doing?
00:34:00Wait, I'm Sandero.
00:34:01You called me.
00:34:02No, no, wait there.
00:34:03Oh.
00:34:04Okay.
00:34:08What are you doing, Ali?
00:34:10I don't know who wants to measure my stomach.
00:34:12He's cutting the line.
00:34:14Yes, he is.
00:34:15He was first.
00:34:16No, he wasn't.
00:34:17The Liars.
00:34:17In the new reality?
00:34:18In the new reality, men come first the women.
00:34:21Oh, that's the wrong...
00:34:23New reality.
00:34:24That's the wrong thing to say.
00:34:26That's the wrong thing to say.
00:34:29It makes me so angry, because they don't check that it's clear that it's clear that there's
00:34:33less women in windsurfing when they treat the women in windsurfing.
00:34:39I think the men are quite quick to look at the women's fleet and see that there's less aggression
00:34:43that they didn't say, oh, like, I'd love to sell there, you know?
00:34:47But they don't take into account these equipment factors and all the rest, the sponsorship perhaps,
00:34:54and the contracts that they're able to sign.
00:34:56But the girls have drawn the short straw for sure.
00:34:59Hi, hello.
00:35:00How are you doing?
00:35:01Good, how are you?
00:35:02Yeah.
00:35:02I'm fine, thank you.
00:35:29It's enough cutting lines for you.
00:35:32Yeah.
00:35:33Yeah.
00:35:33Pull him in the back of the line.
00:35:35Yeah, exactly.
00:35:36Like I deserve it.
00:35:37Actually.
00:35:38Because today, women go first.
00:35:41Exactly.
00:35:42Well, we'll let them have it one time.
00:35:44Hello.
00:35:44Hello.
00:35:47Hello.
00:35:52I'm a little bit too late.
00:35:53But what you've experienced, I can't say anything.
00:35:58But I forget it sometimes.
00:35:59Do you know anything?
00:36:04Do you know anything or feel like anything?
00:36:07And hey, have aYE different picture for women.وع
00:36:10ma'am? No.
00:36:20So it's
00:36:21a pattern for women from sex zombies. Let's go
00:36:24on, they did something on quarrel. They've lived
00:36:25with men sexually.
00:36:26If you look in your eyes.
00:36:56So another another topic that you are very open about besides your anorexic is, of course, your sexuality.
00:37:04Why is it important for you to talk more about it?
00:37:06Oh, so many reasons.
00:37:08Oh, my God.
00:37:09But I think how come we're not allowed to talk about it?
00:37:12And then also women not talking about their sexuality leads a lot to us being sexualized and without us being
00:37:17able to defend ourselves in a way.
00:37:19It starts earlier.
00:37:21It starts by a woman walking through the crowd and a guy touching her ass on accident.
00:37:26Without her consent, because I know that there's this huge issue that women don't report.
00:37:31I look back and I'm like, why didn't I say anything?
00:37:35I can't.
00:37:36I can't do it because, as I said, like I haven't gone deep enough into my own story.
00:37:46What's wrong with you?
00:37:59What do I say?
00:37:59I'm sorry.
00:38:07I can't do it.
00:38:08I can't do it.
00:38:12I can't do it.
00:38:19I can't do it.
00:41:19Yes.
00:43:42we haven't trained all winter at full speed to race the race at half speed you know like
00:43:47no if you're gonna send it do it now do it now and you guys have all put in the
00:43:53work you're all on
00:43:54great form good work over the past month or so then that our best see what happens
00:44:24in the first race actually elena had a really great start and was winning winning the race first one to
00:44:29the reach mark lost a couple places when she went around the mark that was fine and then couldn't
00:44:35see how he went on the course then i saw some kit so i drove over to the kit and
00:44:43there was no one there at all
00:44:48so my instant reaction was complete panic like is she under the sail you know like has she crashed and
00:44:56been unconscious and you know all the worst case scenarios
00:45:00and then luckily kind of took one last scan around for me she was wearing her shiny silver helmet
00:45:07and probably 50 meters away she was just there in the water with the foils around it's pretty dangerous
00:45:24as well
00:45:26midweek elena had two races where she finished 10 15. it would have been enough to put her into the
00:45:34gold fleet
00:45:40and i was so happy and i said okay i think i have it in the gold fleet
00:45:44and i think i have the feeling that henry is not so happy for me somehow and they had me
00:45:50at both races where i was so good at the 10th and 15th as over early as early as well
00:45:55which brought me back to the 90th, so really deep in the fleet
00:46:00and I was so happy with you
00:46:07For years, I give everything and I'm so far behind it again.
00:46:18From there, I went a bit backwards and mentally it was difficult for me.
00:46:37It affects your conscious decisions.
00:46:40Once you put that into sport and you start to really have to be completely in control of,
00:46:46really purposeful with all of your decisions and what's going on inside your head,
00:46:50100% it can pull things out that you didn't know.
00:47:19If only the wind, if only, would make the oceans spit at me,
00:47:29so it would wash out the burned flesh and drag me far away.
00:47:39If only the wind would have heard me,
00:47:44it would scream at me so loud that the air refuses to fill my lungs.
00:47:54And in the deep awaits my unspoken chains.
00:48:27And then, suddenly, I just had to cry the whole day.
00:48:30I couldn't drive the car anymore.
00:48:32I couldn't sleep in bed.
00:48:34I had terrible dreams.
00:48:37Four years ago,
00:48:40but it was just so buried.
00:48:43It was completely blacked out.
00:48:46In the podcast, it came up.
00:48:52Well, first things first, I've never talked about this to anyone.
00:48:56I went to Australia when I was 15.
00:49:00There would be these two guys.
00:49:01One of them was like such a clown,
00:49:03and the other one I had kind of a crush on.
00:49:06And they texted me one evening to come and pick me up.
00:49:09They were friends.
00:49:12And we went into the house to just play cards.
00:49:15And, like, we drank tea, and it was so wholesome and so sweet.
00:49:19And the guy I had a crush on just went to his bed because it was his house.
00:49:23And then the other dude and I, this class clown dude,
00:49:26and we were kind of forced to share our bed.
00:49:29You know, we were just chatting in bed.
00:49:31It was super fun.
00:49:33And then suddenly he was like, yeah, I've always wanted to have sex in school.
00:49:35And I was like, oh, okay, you know, 15, I had sex once.
00:49:39I was a bit intimidated still.
00:49:43And then I was like, okay, okay.
00:49:44And then he pushed it and he was like, how about we have sex right now?
00:49:49I said no for a really long time.
00:49:54He kept pushing, he kept pushing.
00:49:56At one point, he just gets up and he, he's two meters tall and, like, super muscular.
00:50:01And at that point, I'm 15, still anorexic, like, super tiny.
00:50:05So he gets up, he takes a condom, and he's like, okay, come on, let's do it.
00:50:08And at that point, I just knew, like, I was in the middle of nowhere.
00:50:11I was afraid of this dude.
00:50:14I knew, like, if I start defending myself, this is gonna go down so much worse.
00:50:22Then at one point, I just was quiet.
00:51:04And, yeah, we were on the right hand.
00:51:07After that, we got to go down to the right hand.
00:51:09And, yeah, I just didn't know what the thoughts were able to pass on.
00:51:09And, yeah, I just didn't know what the thoughts were coming down.
00:51:11I just had to make things of a big blobs.
00:51:16And, yeah.
00:51:19...
00:51:26It hurt us very much.
00:51:29She decided to work for herself.
00:51:34And we accepted that.
00:51:41I believe that every woman could have a moment in her life,
00:51:46The woman, who could be charged with sexual assault,
00:51:50we know that in the moment we know that every woman is over.
00:51:54I also experienced my age with 17 and we know that it would have been yesterday.
00:52:00I didn't even tell my parents, I didn't tell anyone.
00:52:03I didn't tell anyone, except my best friend.
00:52:08Elena makes it different and better than we did.
00:52:12She takes it, she takes it, she takes it, she takes it,
00:52:16she takes it, she takes it, she takes it, she takes it,
00:52:19she turns it into something strong.
00:52:23And that can she.
00:52:24And I must say, that she makes it genial.
00:52:26She makes it too aggressive, but she lives with it.
00:52:29And that she takes it into account.
00:52:36Many people told me that I had a similar experience
00:52:41like this or this or this.
00:52:42It's just not unusual, but it's almost almost the norm.
00:52:46I want to normalize it.
00:52:47Because if all the women don't care about it,
00:52:51they don't check that the shame doesn't belong to me,
00:52:53it belongs to him.
00:52:54I did nothing.
00:52:55He did it.
00:53:05But also, that was in the front of me.
00:53:05And they have always done it.
00:53:08They didn't lead to it.
00:53:09And they Sware with it.
00:53:10And they took it into an new one.
00:53:12and they turned it into an adventure.
00:53:12In a new end.
00:53:13And that's what I found.
00:53:16I didn't like that.
00:53:17I would like it as to be that.
00:53:18I'd also like that.
00:53:18.
00:53:45I can't wait to go to the airport.
00:53:46I can't wait to see the airport.
00:53:47I can't wait to see my airport.
00:53:48I was born in my life.
00:53:48without having a successful experience.
00:53:52And you must still think about it.
00:54:44There were really some days where I was questioning myself as a coach, you know,
00:54:48she wasn't taking steps forward and we'd put everything into it.
00:54:51There was so much negativity coming from Elena that if I was to then start feeling that way
00:54:58or appearing that way, then all hope was lost.
00:55:04They seemed to think it was going to be a pretty difficult day for the race officers, but who knows?
00:55:10She'd kind of quite happily resigned to the fact that she was way off the level of sailing
00:55:16and that it wasn't going to happen and actually I think that that was quite important
00:55:21that she felt that way in the end because it took a lot of pressure off.
00:55:32So let's just make sure that we have 100% confidence in the plan
00:55:37and then follow it.
00:55:40Like this is the forecast.
00:55:44We will do five days of racing until we even get a shot at the qualification
00:55:49and then it all comes down to one day.
00:55:51So if you go over the line in the first race of that day, that's it.
00:55:57Then it's like, say goodbye.
00:56:00And I think the Olympics will feel less pressure than that day.
00:56:07Picturing her coming back onto the boat, having qualified for a spot
00:56:13and really trying to feel that feeling really keeps me going and keeps me fighting.
00:56:18It's going to be crazy.
00:56:20There's going to be tears whether we do it or not.
00:56:34It makes me feel a bit tired.
00:56:36Sometimes it feels like a ride like water in a ride.
00:56:37It's going like a steady eye on a sea tour.
00:56:40But if it works right and well, it's just right in tune.
00:56:44And you understand yourself.
00:56:46And if I am relaxed and I just have to refresh the rest of the time.
00:56:50then it's possible to relax the wind.
00:56:59Ten, nine, eight, seven, six, five, four, three, two, one, go!
00:57:15Come on up, dig deep now. Work for her.
00:57:23What's wrong?
00:57:25It's fine, is it?
00:57:27It's fine, it's gusty, it's horrible in here.
00:57:43Let's control the controllables.
00:57:49Yeah?
00:57:51You know you have a few options right now, either wind yourself up or calm yourself down.
00:57:57It's totally in your hands.
00:57:59Yes, go.
00:58:01Go, go, go, go, go!
00:58:03Nice, turn, pump, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, nice!
00:58:10Turn around.
00:58:13Every now and then I fall apart.
00:58:18Guys, that's way too high up in the rankings for me to know.
00:58:22And you two have got really consistent scores.
00:58:24What's the first thing?
00:58:26I know, I know, I know.
00:58:27I'm just being an optimist.
00:58:29Optimist.
00:58:29Optimist, yeah.
00:58:31Well, I'm a one-turper, but...
00:58:48That last race on day one was really, really important for her entire regatta.
00:58:56Me, personally, I certainly never lost hope.
00:59:00You know, no matter how unrealistic that possibly became, to me it was never impossible.
00:59:24We actually figured out, the day before yesterday, that Elena's on the developing nations list.
00:59:31She has seven spots.
00:59:33It depends on who goes in the top five.
00:59:37Yeah, exactly. But then also after that, you could have loads of nations that aren't developing nations.
00:59:43So it's probably going to come down to like top ten nations maybe, top nine.
00:59:49That's a massive chance.
00:59:51Yeah, massive. A lot bigger.
01:00:02And then there's something like developing nations.
01:00:05And developing nations are not Drittwelt-Länder,
01:00:08but it's countries that have at least two Olympic games in this Segel-Klasse.
01:00:15And in Switzerland there was no longer a woman in 20 years.
01:00:20That's to us, there was such a place of developing nations.
01:00:22But we were not the only country that could take advantage of it.
01:00:26There were quite a lot of countries that were developing nations.
01:00:29That means it was like a bit of a war around these places.
01:00:37We'll see.
01:00:39I'm pretty confident we will race.
01:00:41I hope so.
01:00:46Look at my Amazon account.
01:00:48Wow.
01:00:49It's just books.
01:00:50I don't read.
01:00:51This is all because she got her hands on my Kindle.
01:00:55His credit card is linked to the account.
01:00:58It's just a vibe.
01:00:59I usually read like 400 pages a day.
01:01:01It's really a load.
01:01:03That's what I used to.
01:01:05I have to be good at something.
01:01:07If it's not Windsor, I think it has to be something else.
01:01:09Really? Really.
01:01:09Oh my God.
01:01:23Sorry.
01:01:24And live in the community.
01:01:26I'll be happy.
01:01:27We've had to leave now.
01:01:28투 close to 일.
01:01:35Can I forget this one?
01:01:37We have to wait?
01:01:38We're on my way?
01:01:39You have to jump off and then run away.
01:01:53I absolutely hate sand, but I'm so tired that I'd rather be sandy than not sleep.
01:02:06I feel like if a chiropractitioner would, like, press on my hips, they'd just fall apart.
01:02:41I'm so tired.
01:02:46I'm a little bit scared.
01:02:49I'm so tired.
01:02:50There we go.
01:02:54I think I'm too tired.
01:02:56I don't know.
01:03:28Right, you got this. Work hard. You got this. You can do it harder. You can do it again.
01:03:35Just focus on staying in the pressure. Go, go, go, go. Don't stop, don't stop, don't
01:03:44stop, don't stop. Stop. No, fuck. Nice. What are we doing? Come on. First mode.
01:03:58What's wrong? So let's go. We've got a job to do. Okay, just relax. Alan. Dig deep.
01:04:09Come on, come on, come on, come on. Come on. Please, please, please, please, please. Yes.
01:04:23Progress. I'm trying. I'm not doing anything. Elena. It's not a criticism. No, what is it?
01:04:36It's a surprise. I'm your coach. I'm allowed to give you advice.
01:04:43Okay. Don't take it out of me. You are.
01:04:50Work for it, Elena.
01:04:54For fuck's sake.
01:04:56Okay.
01:05:23Okay.
01:05:24Going to speak to you.
01:05:25I think I'm kind of kind of top off the top, but it was still a huge success for me.
01:05:30Go, go, go.
01:05:35Actually, at the moment, I didn't qualify.
01:05:38But at the moment, you had to qualify for a medal race tomorrow.
01:05:41And the Slowinen was also a developing nation.
01:05:43There were only two of them.
01:05:44And when she's qualify for a normal country in top five,
01:05:47then in a new spot for developing nation,
01:05:50and that goes to me.
01:06:08And when your fondest hopes are dead,
01:06:14and fate has ceased to smile,
01:06:19tis then it pays to lift your head
01:06:25and just hold on a while.
01:07:00I can't believe the most important race of my life is the race where I'm not in.
01:07:08My Olympic trials is waiting for someone else to do well.
01:07:13I'm waiting for me to do good.
01:07:18It's like my lucky socks.
01:07:19It's like my lucky socks.
01:07:21They did work yesterday.
01:07:24Sparkly socks in action.
01:07:27Okay, group hug before it starts.
01:07:32Love you guys.
01:07:37There she is.
01:07:40There's our girl, the legend, the myth.
01:07:43Wooo, Slovenia!
01:07:45She is fucking flying.
01:07:49Hey.
01:07:49Hey, dad!
01:07:51Yes.
01:07:53He's so nice.
01:07:54How cute is the dad?
01:07:55I'm sorry.
01:07:56How sweet is that?
01:07:57I told her.
01:08:00She knows that she has to do it.
01:08:03Guys, I'm going to actually throw up.
01:08:06You're going to out fuck me?
01:08:08Yeah.
01:08:11I can't look, I can't look.
01:08:20Okay, that's a good start.
01:08:22That's a good start.
01:08:23Yes.
01:08:24Okay, nice.
01:08:25She's rolling.
01:08:26She's leading, she's leading.
01:08:28Stop!
01:08:31Go, go, go!
01:08:33The other girl's, oh, Jesus, she's going to split from the fucking glee.
01:08:39This way?
01:08:40Yeah, she's going this way.
01:08:41Oh my God, fuck me, go!
01:08:45Hey.
01:08:45Oh my God, go, please!
01:08:48Please!
01:08:50Come on, good tack.
01:08:53Is she overlaying?
01:08:55Keep going.
01:08:57Nice, no!
01:09:01Oh my God, oh my God.
01:09:10She was winning.
01:09:14I can't see.
01:09:16Go, go, go!
01:09:19If she makes this, it's good.
01:09:21Go, go!
01:09:24Oh my God, go, go!
01:09:28Oh my God.
01:09:29Go!
01:09:30Oh my God, go!
01:09:36Oh my God.
01:09:39Oh my God.
01:09:40Oh my God, oh my God.
01:09:41Go, go, go, go, go!
01:09:45She did it!
01:09:46She did it!
01:09:47Oh my God!
01:09:49She did it!
01:09:50Oh my gosh, she did it!
01:09:52Oh my God.
01:09:54Oh my God.
01:09:55What's the best?
01:09:56We did it!
01:09:58Oh my god!
01:10:01Oh my god!
01:10:03Oh my god!
01:10:05Yeah!
01:10:06Woohoo!
01:10:09Thank you!
01:10:10Thank you so much!
01:10:12Thank you so much! I owe you!
01:10:19Guys, I qualified
01:10:20for the Olympics!
01:10:22We did it!
01:10:25I can't believe it!
01:10:29Can you imagine?
01:10:30You coached someone I couldn't jibe
01:10:32to the games!
01:10:36I couldn't jibe
01:10:37two years ago!
01:10:39I still can't jibe!
01:10:43Mami!
01:10:44We had it done!
01:10:45We had it done!
01:10:46We had it done!
01:10:57Oh my god!
01:10:58Oh my god!
01:10:59Ja, ja, ich habe das Land qualifiziert.
01:11:02Ich weiss noch nicht, ob sie mich schicken,
01:11:03aber ich habe das Land qualifiziert.
01:11:05Und ich bin ja auf dieser Longlist.
01:11:07Das heisst, ich glaube, sie schicken mich.
01:11:09Ich glaube, das ist all good.
01:11:10Und...
01:11:12Nach 20 Jahren, Mama!
01:11:14Eine Frau von der Schweiz!
01:11:16Genau 20 Jahre her,
01:11:18als die letzte schweizer Frau in den Surfer war.
01:11:28Ich habe mir nie überlegt, was nach ihr passiert.
01:11:32Ich habe auch nie überlegt, wie es dann eigentlich wäre,
01:11:34bei der Olympiade mit zu segeln.
01:11:37Aber auch emotional irgendwie.
01:11:40Ich habe mich nicht überlegt,
01:11:41wie es dann ist.
01:11:49Es fühlt sich überhaupt nicht real.
01:11:53Ich fühle mich, wie ich eigentlich träume.
01:11:55Wie, eigentlich.
01:12:00Ich bin nicht bereit.
01:12:02Wie funktioniert das?
01:12:03Ich habe keine Ahnung.
01:12:04Ich habe gar nicht mehr eine Startwatch.
01:12:05Ich habe keine Ahnung von Henries.
01:12:08Nein, ich habe keine Ahnung.
01:12:11Ich habe welche geschrieben.
01:12:14Danke.
01:12:14Soring습니다.
01:12:19Man relationship.
01:12:20Ich brauche nur einen Drink.
01:12:25Ich werde outreach, darling.
01:12:27Kannst du mal�?
01:12:28Komm her, komm her.
01:12:30Danke.
01:12:31Wie liebte음 Thai.
01:12:32Es war auch dummer adüst.
01:12:34Right?
01:12:35No?
01:12:36Oh, really?
01:12:38He did fucking well.
01:12:40You can be so proud.
01:12:41And you're always here with your camper.
01:12:43And you have two amazing kids.
01:12:46I'll see you in Marseille.
01:12:50Olympics!
01:12:51Olympics!
01:12:54Now, I don't have to be ashamed of my van anymore.
01:12:58I'm not kidding, guys.
01:12:59I've been so ashamed.
01:13:00Not ashamed, but, like, it's a lot to put it out there
01:13:04when you can't fucking windsurf.
01:13:15Okay.
01:13:23Okay.
01:13:25Then got a call from one of the guys in the evening,
01:13:30saying, oh, you know, this is going to be a longer process
01:13:32than you think.
01:13:34We have to keep on training as if it's going to happen.
01:13:38And then it might not.
01:13:41A lot of these emotions, probably, that we were suppressing
01:13:44really hard and ignoring for the means of actually being
01:13:49able to compete, that we imagined would all be released
01:13:53released at this point in time, being carried with us.
01:14:13The progression has been massive.
01:14:15To be able to even beat some of these girls who have been around
01:14:17for 15, 20 years.
01:14:20The potential towards 20 to 28 is huge.
01:14:24I won't you imagine how compact the improvement has been
01:14:27so far with such little support.
01:14:33Can you untie it?
01:14:37One, three, two, one.
01:14:40One, three, two, one.
01:14:43One, four, three, one.
01:14:59One, four, three, two, four.
01:15:09One, four, three, three, four,
01:15:10It took 3-4 weeks, until they called me.
01:15:14I got a phone call and saw who it was.
01:15:17I took a phone call.
01:15:19And then they called me.
01:15:22But we decided not to send a phone call.
01:15:58To be and exist without any mistakes, it makes me so hard.
01:16:05Before I started the whole journey, I was never really aware of it.
01:16:10Because I realized that I'm never happy when I achieve something.
01:16:14And I don't want that anymore.
01:16:17But I think I'm first ready when I'm gold in the hand.
01:16:23And at the same time, I think that Scheitern is so important personally,
01:16:28when you can learn from it and you can see yourself so much more in the depths than in the
01:16:33depths.
01:16:49I can also say so often, that it wasn't my time.
01:16:53But if other people can do it, there's no reason why I shouldn't do it.
01:16:59I think that people are afraid of it and feel like they couldn't do it.
01:17:05That can also be on a small level. But why not?
01:17:11But what would you do?
01:17:11No.
01:17:11No.
01:17:27No.
01:17:39Okay, so please.
01:17:39On the board fell a sailor
01:17:45No one heard but the wind
01:17:55She'll never believe her
01:18:01Blow me away
01:18:10Now I cannot see her
01:18:18It's bringing me down
01:18:27Under the waves
01:18:30You can't hear the sound
01:18:48But she'll never believe her
01:18:48You can't hear the sound
01:18:48We can't hear the sound
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