- 2 days ago
ALL BABES WANT TO KILL ME ｜ Romance, Comedy and. Martial Arts ｜ 🍿🎥
Category
🎥
Short filmTranscript
00:00:21Over here?
00:00:23Keep going.
00:00:26Over here?
00:00:27Keep going.
00:00:34Can I have a banana pudding?
00:00:37When you're done.
00:00:38Can I have a butter stock candy?
00:00:41When you're done.
00:00:44Can I have a karate story, please?
00:00:46When you're...
00:00:48A story?
00:00:50It's just that I have a terrific story
00:00:52about a martial arts family dynasty
00:00:55that spanned 2,000 years in greatness
00:00:58until they moved to America and began to die.
00:01:03Butterscotch.
00:01:04Right.
00:01:05Now, here's the most important part.
00:01:09It's all true.
00:01:11Once upon a time, and long ago,
00:01:16down a winding path and over a bridge,
00:01:22in the finest house in all of Chinatown,
00:01:25there lived three little karate boys.
00:01:30they had the nicest mother,
00:01:33and the meanest, blind-as-a-bat father
00:01:37that ever was.
00:01:39The two kids?
00:01:40The two kids were all who died.
00:01:41The two kids were all who died.
00:01:49To the dark days,
00:01:50they're all who died.
00:01:52They were all who died.
00:01:58They were all who died.
00:02:03They were all who died.
00:02:08Butterscotchets were a nightmare.
00:02:09They were all who died.
00:02:19The first thing you learn in karate is that you don't win all of your battles.
00:02:26But Vatchel was lucky in this world.
00:02:30He found the love of his life early.
00:02:33Marina Green, the girl next door.
00:02:49You'd think karate training would make losing your mom a little easier, but it didn't.
00:02:55Call it a compulsion, being too hard on yourself, or just plain bad decision-making.
00:03:01But Vatchel started eating paint chips right off the shed.
00:03:04But paint chips are bad for you, Tommy.
00:03:07Everything was bad for them from then on.
00:03:12My sons, a great martial artist, always finds a way to tell the truth, no matter what the consequences.
00:03:27One of you is not my son.
00:03:31One of you is a bastard child.
00:03:37Is this how?
00:03:46Shit.
00:03:48Are you my bastard child?
00:03:51No, father.
00:03:53Take care for money and content.
00:03:58He's in.
00:04:00He's out.
00:04:01Hey!
00:04:17Are you my bastard child?
00:04:19No, father.
00:04:21Yeah.
00:04:24Breathe in.
00:04:26Breathe out.
00:04:28Hey!
00:04:39Ah, Vatchel.
00:04:42Are you my bastard child?
00:04:47Yes, father.
00:04:49I say.
00:04:52Why, you, little.
00:04:55Ah, I say.
00:05:00Breathe in.
00:05:02Breathe out.
00:05:04Ah!
00:05:05Ah!
00:05:17Ah!
00:05:18Ah!
00:05:21Ah!
00:05:23Ah!
00:05:32Okay, little bastard.
00:05:35Strike!
00:05:36Time!
00:05:38Stamp!
00:05:39Ice!
00:05:40Huh?
00:05:40I don't hear you.
00:05:42Ice!
00:05:43Hammer, hammer, hammer.
00:05:44Ice!
00:05:46When does a child become a black belt in our family dojo?
00:05:54Sir, when the child has passed the black belt test, thus becoming a great martial artist, sir.
00:06:00And what makes some martial artist great?
00:06:04He doesn't have to win all the time, but when he's going down, he always goes down in flames.
00:06:11Yes.
00:06:13Same.
00:06:19You are now a black belt.
00:06:23But hey, you are now a black belt.
00:06:34And that's...
00:06:36Yes, master?
00:06:38You failed! Now show some respect and bow to my sons!
00:06:44Yes, master.
00:06:48So did you get your black belt yet?
00:06:52I'm looking at it.
00:06:54Don't you know paint chips are bad for you?
00:06:56What's that smell?
00:06:58You smell that?
00:07:01Don't you smell that?
00:07:05It was the paint.
00:07:08He had mycritis.
00:07:10It was a rare disease.
00:07:13If pretty women could smell him, smell him at all, they would try to kill him.
00:07:16And there was no cure.
00:07:20I love you! You're dead!
00:07:22I love you! You're dead!
00:07:24I love you! You're dead!
00:07:26I love you! You're dead!
00:07:28You must never hit a girl!
00:07:33Yes, father.
00:07:35Practice your karate?
00:07:38Yes, father.
00:07:40Finish yourself to the desert! It is the honorable thing to do!
00:07:45Yes, father.
00:07:46Oh!
00:07:53But they never got my black belt!
00:08:09Run! Run!
00:08:15I'll come back for you!
00:08:17Bye!
00:08:24Bye!
00:09:06Hi, my morning!
00:09:07The morning of the day, the morning of the day, the morning of the day.
00:09:12The calendar is very close to me, but it's closer to me.
00:09:18I can't understand anything anymore.
00:09:21I'm just trying to make you a soup.
00:09:24I'm just trying to make you a soup.
00:09:26The morning of the day, the day of the day, the day of the day.
00:09:29Heart, so clean,溶け出し,手がベタベタイ。
00:09:36Yeah, you're not you,急いで水辺を探す。
00:10:43Well, time to fight the Indians.
00:10:48Wait a second.
00:10:49They don't look like Indians.
00:10:51The Wampassants were less than 1% Indian, yet qualified for federal support and gaming revenue.
00:10:57Why do they want to fight Badger?
00:11:01They overcompensated for their lack of Indian blood by fighting him every day for the land.
00:11:07Oh!
00:11:08Oh, oh, oh, oh!
00:11:08Oh, my God!
00:11:22Oh, my God!
00:11:41Welcome if you got him!
00:12:11Oh, thanks.
00:12:13Say, Vachel, how are the mornings looking?
00:12:15Yeah, we want to fight you in the mornings.
00:12:17At least through the end of summer.
00:12:19Okay.
00:12:20Did you bring me my ice cream treats?
00:12:22See, that's just it.
00:12:23It got so hot, and it melted.
00:12:25But we got you extra fireworks.
00:12:36What?
00:12:37We met a girl you might like.
00:12:39Yeah.
00:12:40Oh, no.
00:12:43Okay.
00:12:44Well, we'll see you tomorrow morning.
00:12:47Hey, a Don Rickles impersonator's over at the casino.
00:12:51You want to come?
00:12:53Can I give him a geode?
00:13:10Each night he fired rockets that he knew Marina would never see.
00:13:15But he figured the intention behind them would stream further and burn brighter to wherever
00:13:23she was.
00:13:27A rocket in your favor always gets through.
00:13:46Father!
00:13:48Oh, number one son.
00:13:53Huh?
00:13:54Sang?
00:13:55Is that you?
00:13:56Yes, father.
00:13:57Oh, how was Oxford?
00:14:02Sir, I experienced the height of collegiate discipline, sir.
00:14:07Oh, let me see your decree.
00:14:13Oh, put it on wall with the rest of your decree, sir.
00:14:23Yes, father.
00:14:25Yes, father.
00:14:30I'll need another hundred thousand for a semester at Harvard.
00:14:35Oh, of course.
00:14:38Are you okay, sir?
00:14:39Sir, sit, sit, sit, sit by me.
00:14:46Oh, pass me, pass me candy.
00:14:55Oh, have one yourself.
00:14:58Oh, have one yourself.
00:15:00Mm-hmm.
00:15:02Oh.
00:15:04Oh.
00:15:05Oh.
00:15:06Oh.
00:15:07Oh.
00:15:08Oh.
00:15:08I got coconut.
00:15:10Oh.
00:15:11I hate coconut.
00:15:14Oh.
00:15:14I hate coconut.
00:15:14I got coconut.
00:15:15Tastes all right.
00:15:16Oh.
00:15:17Well, I put right back.
00:15:20Oh.
00:15:21Oh.
00:15:22Oh.
00:15:23Oh.
00:15:24Oh.
00:15:25Oh.
00:15:26Oh.
00:15:32The number one son, they rubbed my feet.
00:15:38They're so sore.
00:15:42Oh.
00:15:42Oh.
00:15:42Oh.
00:15:54Ah.
00:15:55I inherit everything, and on that day, my father died.
00:16:06Are you dying, sir?
00:16:09In three days, it will be your family new year.
00:16:15On this day, I shall die, after naming chosen one.
00:16:40You could bow a little deeper.
00:16:42Oh.
00:16:47What's this?
00:16:49Consider it a celebration.
00:16:50A token from the chosen one.
00:16:53Chang, congratulations.
00:16:56Well...
00:16:57I always knew it would be you.
00:17:00What do you do out here?
00:17:04Well, I...
00:17:06Well, you live like a hobo.
00:17:11Now, about Dad.
00:17:14He's on his deathbed.
00:17:16And he wants you to do something.
00:17:18Can I see him?
00:17:20Can you see him?
00:17:22What arrogance.
00:17:24You're a bastard child.
00:17:28In the old days, there'd be no processed meat or sparkling water for you.
00:17:35But he's softened up a bit.
00:17:40So, yes.
00:17:41If you succeed, I guarantee you get to see him.
00:17:46What does he want me to do?
00:17:48He wants you to go on a suicide mission.
00:17:53And let me tell you something.
00:17:54If I were you, I wouldn't turn it down.
00:17:59Now, this problem with pretty women.
00:18:03Oh.
00:18:04Oh.
00:18:06Don't you think it's about time to face up to that?
00:18:09Dad thinks so.
00:18:13You are to return to the city.
00:18:15Find this girl you pine after.
00:18:18Gain her love.
00:18:19Conquer your affliction.
00:18:22Then, and only then, does he want to see you.
00:18:26Is that clear?
00:18:27Yes.
00:18:28Is that clear?
00:18:29Yes, sir.
00:18:30I'll do it.
00:18:54Here.
00:18:55Get busy.
00:18:57Melina, honey, I need you to stop that.
00:19:02Just dial and send.
00:19:04Green.
00:19:05Green to green.
00:19:08Honey, would you please stop with the banging?
00:19:12We'll visit all the marina greeners.
00:19:14She looks next door to follow me.
00:19:16Oh, you think so?
00:19:18Dear God, would you please stop with the banging?
00:19:25One of them should be marina green from next door.
00:19:30I will drag you out and beat you like a show business monkey!
00:19:35Stop the banging!
00:19:38How many you find?
00:19:39I can't.
00:19:44Seven.
00:19:46Seven.
00:19:47Seven marina greens.
00:19:49Like you said.
00:19:50Okay.
00:19:52Okay!
00:19:57All right.
00:19:58Okay.
00:20:01Let me have it.
00:20:03Get back in the trunk.
00:20:04I want it!
00:20:06You can't handle it!
00:20:15No!
00:20:16I still smell him!
00:20:18Ready?
00:20:19Ready.
00:20:22You do it.
00:20:24You do it!
00:20:25Here it comes.
00:20:26All right.
00:20:27You selected.
00:20:30Hey.
00:20:31Hey.
00:20:31Hey.
00:20:31What?
00:20:32What are you doing?
00:20:33I'm hitting my girlfriend.
00:20:34What's wrong with you?
00:20:36Maybe you're not supposed to.
00:20:37Oh, Christ.
00:20:37Vatchel.
00:20:38It's not hitting.
00:20:39I'm hitting.
00:20:39Je ne sais pas hitting!
00:20:41You're right.
00:20:42You're not hitting anything.
00:20:44You're not from France either.
00:20:46So knock it off!
00:20:47You're from Baltimore!
00:20:49Baltimore!
00:20:50Baltimore!
00:20:51No!
00:20:55I'm just trying to close down her nasal passages so she can't smell you.
00:21:02So she can ride in the car.
00:21:05It's hitting.
00:21:06No!
00:21:07No!
00:21:08It's just sudden.
00:21:09Just do it!
00:21:10Do it!
00:21:13Vatchel!
00:21:14I'm the chosen one.
00:21:17What would father think?
00:21:24I'm sorry.
00:21:59Goodness gracious!
00:22:04Goodness gracious.
00:22:07Goodness gracious?
00:22:08Goodness gracious.
00:22:08It was a goodness gracious moment, all right?
00:22:15Little brother!
00:22:17She pretty?
00:22:20bring her
00:22:23what are you doing
00:22:25this is perfect we hit the jackpot she's a babe
00:22:30i am so angry at you look as soon as he's dead and i'm named greatest martial artist of family
00:22:39i'm gonna bathe you in diamonds dress you in gold and we'll spend the autumn in amsterdam
00:22:47smoking nothing but weed who am i who am i she's got amnesia
00:22:56nah she didn't my head is bleeding
00:22:59bachelor we should cover four marina greens take me to a doctor four marinas
00:23:05marina greens if i don't get the set i'm gonna be handicapped shank she needs a hospital
00:23:10i'm gonna be handicapped you give her some of your pain pills
00:23:15and just what am i supposed to take with my beer you're almost out
00:23:19i'm not involved
00:23:31where are we
00:23:32that's chinatown
00:23:34it's not all chinatown
00:23:36did the big book say that marina lived in chinatown
00:23:39no but lots of people move to different neighborhoods just like you did
00:23:55don't worry i'll do it do what
00:24:00i need a pit stop
00:24:12did you go up next to a house that had a pond
00:24:18did you step in something you better check your shoes
00:24:21do you
00:24:23did you
00:24:41do you
00:24:57God help me!
00:25:17聞こえてほしいあなたは
00:25:18경台!受けろ
00:25:21敵取り
00:25:22Salvador アダー受けそうには川上
00:25:30救め父
00:25:50Do you want to hear the story or not?
00:25:53I'm sorry.
00:26:02I'm sorry.
00:26:15I'm sorry.
00:26:33Get over here!
00:26:55Did you grow up next to me?
00:27:11What does the sign say?
00:27:14It says, my little brother's on a true love mission.
00:27:24He is on a mission, isn't he?
00:27:30We gotta give you a name.
00:27:32I guess so.
00:27:33How about Dolores?
00:27:36She just wants to find out what happens.
00:27:39Shut up.
00:27:39Well, I know what happened.
00:27:41Shut up!
00:27:44So, when was the last time you had your teeth examined?
00:27:47An hour.
00:27:48No, really.
00:27:49Did you grow up next?
00:27:50No.
00:27:50Over wide.
00:27:52Okay.
00:27:53Let's see.
00:27:53No fillings.
00:27:54Nice and white.
00:27:56Gums look good.
00:27:58Ew.
00:27:59You have a lot of cavities.
00:28:01You must be in terrible pain.
00:28:05Do you have trouble eating with these?
00:28:07I can shoot.
00:28:08God bless you.
00:28:09Okay.
00:28:10Spit.
00:28:15Spit.
00:28:19Could you spit?
00:28:21Did you grow up next to-
00:28:23Excuse me.
00:28:40Okay.
00:28:50Hello?
00:28:57Hello?
00:28:59Could you use some of that mouthwash that you have?
00:29:02Would you have a strong something?
00:29:05Come on.
00:29:06Come on.
00:29:08Thompson!
00:29:10Open your mouth!
00:29:11Open your mouth!
00:29:12Open your mouth!
00:29:13I'm gonna kill you!
00:29:14Open, open, open!
00:29:15Yucky, empty, empty, yucky!
00:29:17I'm gonna kill with your mouth!
00:29:19Open your mouth!
00:29:20Open your mouth!
00:29:21Open your mouth!
00:29:22I guess Vatchel did pretty well, his first day in the city.
00:29:35I'll get it.
00:29:46Ling!
00:29:46Shang, it's no good to see you. I'm busy.
00:29:49It's an emergency!
00:29:50We're in the middle.
00:29:52Oh.
00:29:52Honey, who is it?
00:30:00Well, you're not in the middle. You're not in the middle of anything.
00:30:08I need that money.
00:30:10My boyfriend's gone. He disappeared.
00:30:13And Shang won't give me the money.
00:30:16Father's broke.
00:30:17Broke? No way.
00:30:20Father's broke.
00:30:22What happened to your boyfriend?
00:30:24Don't laugh.
00:30:26I think he left me because of my jowls.
00:30:30I was laughing at a TV show and I caught him looking at my jowls.
00:30:36Jiggling.
00:30:37He was gone the next day.
00:30:41I need a neck reduction of facelift and a tummy tuck staff.
00:30:45Can you give me $5,000?
00:30:56I'm not good.
00:31:01I want to play play in the middle of this world, too.
00:31:06I'm not in my body, but I can do this.
00:31:10I don't know if he's a fine-dollant.
00:31:15You're none of these things.
00:31:21How'd he do in Paris?
00:31:24Shame.
00:31:25While you're swooshing through,
00:31:28father wants to see me on Friday.
00:31:34I'm the chosen one.
00:31:37Oh?
00:31:40Oh, and now he's broke.
00:31:42Got it.
00:31:44Who wants ice cream?
00:31:47I do.
00:31:59So what's your take on the city?
00:32:02It's changed.
00:32:03It's very busy.
00:32:05Thick with anger.
00:32:08You think women trying to kill you is a bad thing?
00:32:12I should be so lucky to live in a peaceful desert.
00:32:15And away we go.
00:32:17Everyone's a lesbian.
00:32:19Especially the men.
00:32:21They're not lesbians.
00:32:24Lesbianized.
00:32:26Sandals.
00:32:27Soft skin.
00:32:28No muscle tone.
00:32:30Feeble walk.
00:32:3125.
00:32:31I see this everywhere.
00:32:34He's got a sandal problem.
00:32:36A babe in sandals looks great.
00:32:39A guy in sandals looks weak.
00:32:41Why am I the only one who understands this?
00:32:44I see sandals on a guy.
00:32:46I want to stomp his feet.
00:32:48Get back in a shoe.
00:32:49Get back in a shoe.
00:32:50Be a man.
00:32:51Get back in a shoe.
00:32:53Christ wore sandals.
00:32:55First of all, Christ kicked the ass of a bunch of guys in a bank.
00:32:59It wasn't a bank.
00:33:02Well, he gets extra credit for wearing sandals while doing karate.
00:33:06It wasn't a bank, and Christ did not know karate.
00:33:09He was Christ.
00:33:10He knew everything, fatso.
00:33:13Great.
00:33:15Great!
00:33:16You're just like Father!
00:33:31Well, welcome to Swiss Family Problemson.
00:33:37They're there now.
00:33:38You'll be okay.
00:33:40But I'm not okay.
00:33:42I'm not okay.
00:33:44But you will be.
00:33:46I will?
00:33:49You know what?
00:33:50I will.
00:33:52You're right.
00:33:53The disabled are always right.
00:33:56They get wisdom from pain.
00:33:58I know these things because I'm a very spiritual person.
00:34:04Desiree?
00:34:05Dolores.
00:34:06Delona?
00:34:07I'm no stranger to teasing.
00:34:09How many years of teasing did it take for you to overcome that?
00:34:13Well, actually, I'm sorry.
00:34:15That was insensitive.
00:34:16You look like you could use a friend.
00:34:18Someone to tell your troubles to.
00:34:20Yes.
00:34:21You know what Shang's problem is?
00:34:23He's just like Dad.
00:34:25He lies like Dad.
00:34:27He cloaks himself in counterfeit karate wisdom like Dad.
00:34:31And then it's manipulate Ling.
00:34:32Manipulate Vachel.
00:34:36Are you Vachel's girlfriend?
00:34:38No.
00:34:40And who are you?
00:34:42I don't know who I am.
00:34:44Amen to that.
00:34:47You know, Vachel used to break my bricks for me when we were kids.
00:34:52He was nice that way.
00:34:54What do we do about Ling?
00:34:57Harmless.
00:34:57He's coming off like a complainer.
00:35:00Part of her has already stopped listening.
00:35:03I bet he's bitching about childhood and she's thinking, yeah, it's hard to be gay.
00:35:09I get it.
00:35:10Plus, I know at least ten things to say to him to make him cry right before I kick his
00:35:15ass.
00:35:15You mean, make fun of his face and tummy and then punch him all over?
00:35:19That's right.
00:35:21We were all thoroughly trained in the perception of Saki.
00:35:25Saki?
00:35:26The rice wine?
00:35:27No.
00:35:28Saki is the heir of murder.
00:35:30The intention to harm that precedes an attack is called Saki.
00:35:58Saki is the heir of murder.
00:36:06Feeling sort of like somebody.
00:36:09Yeah.
00:36:11It seemed so good I don't think I ever had it.
00:36:19What you got there?
00:36:20Firework rockets.
00:36:22Firework rockets, huh?
00:36:24In China, they set off firework rockets and make wishes.
00:36:33Or at least they used to.
00:36:37Dolores, what do girls worry about these days?
00:36:42Oh, well, they'll say it's about this or that, but it's usually about ending up alone.
00:36:52I've been making all the wrong wishes for Marina.
00:36:56What do you mean?
00:36:57Well, I wish that she steps back and she blocks with the right hand,
00:37:03and that she leans away from her kicks,
00:37:06and that she uses her hands together instead of segmented.
00:37:16But girls don't worry about their crying.
00:37:29I hope you find her.
00:37:55Hey, hey!
00:37:57Hey, hey, hey!
00:37:59I'm Batchel.
00:38:00Yes?
00:38:05Yes, that's sweet. Is that for me?
00:38:32How will I know if you really love me? Spend the rest of my days looking down from above
00:38:44At the times that we had when we were together And I wonder if God has another forever moment
00:39:08And it was empty Not a sign, not a trace, just empty
00:39:21I don't have any money.
00:39:28What's your name?
00:39:29Marina Green.
00:39:30Did you ever live in Chinatown?
00:39:33Chinatown?
00:39:34Where's our shed next door? I've never been to Chinatown
00:39:37There are a lot of nice shops and restaurants
00:39:40Now we're gonna get up and we're gonna go
00:39:43If you try anything, you get the phone
00:39:47You want the phone?
00:39:49No
00:40:07Come on, you're gonna go
00:40:08Do the phone
00:40:13I'm gonna go
00:40:15I'm gonna go
00:40:15No
00:40:16No
00:40:17No
00:40:18No
00:40:18No
00:40:18No
00:40:23No
00:40:24No
00:40:24No
00:40:32Please!
00:40:38Please!
00:40:43Aha! She's too old!
00:40:46I think you killed her.
00:40:51What are you doing?
00:40:53What do you care?
00:40:54And you standing by while she hurts innocent women.
00:40:57You don't even care about him.
00:41:00Oh, you think I'm a bad man, that it?
00:41:03I think God puts on night vision goggles just to look at you.
00:41:11Is your daughter home? Is your daughter home?
00:41:14Yes!
00:41:15Dolores.
00:41:15Tell her not to hit me with that pan.
00:41:17Lady, I haven't begun hitting you with this pan.
00:41:24I think you'll find her in her bedroom.
00:41:27Watch your bachelor.
00:41:33Bachelor?
00:41:34Yes, ma'am.
00:41:35From next door?
00:41:50Mr. Please, call 911.
00:41:52Is someone hurt?
00:41:53My daughter. She's earned the drugs. She hit me with the pan.
00:42:02Don't you worry about a thing. I'll handle everything.
00:42:25I saw every rocket you ever fired.
00:42:34I saw every rocket you ever fired.
00:42:43And I said, all right.
00:42:43Could you unfortunately return that we fleet outside?
00:42:59All right.
00:43:00I loved you.
00:43:00That I cannot drive anywhere near my heart,
00:43:00but they were tranquil that the conscious,
00:43:01This is my student.
00:43:01And if I share my computer.
00:43:01I miracle's ACあ Score.
00:43:26And they live happily ever after!
00:43:32Well, take a good long whiff, sister.
00:43:37I'm not the prettiest girl in the world, but I think you'll get a fight out of me.
00:43:41You think you can handle it?
00:43:46Take us to a place where they can't hear him scream.
00:43:49Done.
00:43:50Oh, there go Batchel, back in hot water again!
00:44:03Oh, okay.
00:44:14Are you sure you want me to do this?
00:44:18Okay.
00:44:27No matter what I say, don't let me go.
00:44:30Okay.
00:44:37Okay, let me go.
00:44:39Okay.
00:44:55Three, two, three.
00:45:21I spent our whole relationship with black eyes and a broken nose.
00:45:27And in the end, I only end up killing you, right?
00:45:32Loving you is hard.
00:45:35It always was.
00:45:39Marina, do you know your way home?
00:46:11You came back for me.
00:46:18Thanks.
00:46:19Loving you is.
00:46:28¶¶
00:47:04¶¶
00:47:25¶¶
00:47:27The Cho brothers were never lucky at love.
00:47:30¶¶
00:47:32So, Bachel and I get to come with you and wait outside
00:47:35and possibly get a glimpse of father. Oh, goody.
00:47:39Hey, I didn't make you two into failures.
00:47:42You did that all on your own.
00:47:50Shang, where are your brothers? Where is Ling? Where is Bachel?
00:47:56Ling is on a gay cruise. Bachel is dead.
00:48:00Oh, Bachel. What have I done?
00:48:03He was not mine, but he was innocent.
00:48:07He died in his cave.
00:48:09He dug that cave using nothing but karate.
00:48:14I bet you didn't know that.
00:48:16They found all these crates of pornography.
00:48:20The reservation police say they must have fallen in the night
00:48:23and crushed him.
00:48:25I appreciate your efforts.
00:48:29You can go now.
00:48:40I'm the chosen one, right?
00:48:43It is so.
00:48:56I get the money, right?
00:48:58You failed in your mission.
00:49:03It'll all go to charity.
00:49:07Charity? Charity!
00:49:10You'd give it all to some greasy poor people?!
00:49:16That's a lot of quarters, Dad!
00:49:18Okay?
00:49:19Look!
00:49:21Vachel hates your guts.
00:49:24Ling despises you.
00:49:27I use my karate skills to stop them at the gate
00:49:32so that they would not dishonor you.
00:49:35On this, your ultimate day of glory, sir.
00:49:40Would you like me to go get them?
00:49:43Yes.
00:49:45And thank you for protecting me.
00:49:59Prepare for a morning contact.
00:50:06Threates in! Threates out!
00:50:14Ring!
00:50:16What are picans, pistachios, and almonds?
00:50:24Nuts!
00:50:37I never sent you on mission to find Marina.
00:50:41Shang was trained to kill you so that you wouldn't get all my money.
00:50:48Breathe in. Breathe out.
00:51:04If you are cruel to American wife,
00:51:07she sleep with all manner of salesmen.
00:51:12This iron-hard way,
00:51:16the chosen one,
00:51:18to be decided by combat.
00:51:21Go over!
00:51:23Go over!
00:51:31You thought you were to battle each other.
00:51:36Yeah.
00:51:38I placed an ad in the newspaper.
00:51:43An invitation to battle my sons.
00:51:49I selected the best three.
00:51:54If any of them wins, then get everything.
00:52:00You placed an ad in the newspaper for the family fortune?
00:52:04You must defeat all three so shyly.
00:52:08Get everything.
00:52:09Wait a minute!
00:52:11Wait just a cotton-picking minute!
00:52:13We fight, we win, and he gets everything?
00:52:16To run this territory,
00:52:20you must be ruthless.
00:52:24Petrel is uneducated,
00:52:27and you are weak.
00:52:30Shang is chosen one,
00:52:33but only if you win.
00:52:41What time is it?
00:52:44Almost noon.
00:52:47Count down backwards.
00:52:50Thirty-seven.
00:52:52Thirty-six.
00:52:53Thirty-five.
00:52:54Now, I use ancient secret
00:52:56to shut off heart.
00:52:59Oh, die already!
00:53:01Count the seconds.
00:53:03I don't think so.
00:53:06Please count the seconds.
00:53:09What are you gonna do?
00:53:11Give me nothing?
00:53:12Kick my nuts?
00:53:13My last miss.
00:53:15Please count the seconds.
00:53:19Nope.
00:53:41There was no way you could have done it.
00:53:43It was an abusive family, Vatchel.
00:53:45The karate was just an excuse.
00:53:50Yeah, right.
00:53:51You are so on your own.
00:53:53I'll triple your allowance.
00:53:56My allowance is just fine, thank you.
00:53:59If we lose everything.
00:54:00If we lose everything,
00:54:01you won't have an allowance.
00:54:03You'll go.
00:54:05It's him I'm worried about.
00:54:08You know, Vatchel,
00:54:10the only difference between you and us
00:54:14is that you thought you were getting trained,
00:54:17and we knew we were getting abused.
00:54:25Did you guys know Marina?
00:54:27She went to her high school.
00:54:29Never mentioned you.
00:54:31You can't go back to the happiest times of your life, Vatchel,
00:54:35and expect him to be there.
00:54:36I know.
00:54:37I had big hair in high school.
00:54:40I remember.
00:54:41What?
00:54:42I look great.
00:54:49Didn't you guys keep up with your karate?
00:54:57Okay.
00:55:10What?
00:55:35Did you bring the envelope?
00:55:41Take Rancor.
00:55:54We the Brothers Cho accept your challenge
00:55:59to battle us for our master's estate.
00:56:03On your conditions.
00:56:05I've prepared three dishes.
00:56:07You will taste each one and pick your favorite.
00:56:11Who's first?
00:56:13Vatchel!
00:56:17Mellows!
00:56:18Dad!
00:56:20Okay, okay.
00:56:27Mm, very good.
00:56:29Salmon.
00:56:30It's almondy.
00:56:36This crab is delicious.
00:56:38I suppress the flavor with ginger and saffron.
00:56:48This is fabulous. What is this?
00:56:51What do you think that is?
00:56:54I don't know.
00:56:55Oh, my God. What did you feed me?
00:57:00Pick your favorite.
00:57:02Okay, okay.
00:57:03Well, they were all fabulous, but...
00:57:05I give a slight edge to the crab.
00:57:09So be it.
00:57:10I don't know.
00:57:31Crab style!
00:57:33Yeah!
00:57:34Yeah!
00:57:35Ah!
00:57:40Yeah!
00:57:43Yeah!
00:57:44Ah!
00:57:45Yeah!
00:57:48Oh!
00:57:51I've had enough!
00:57:53I've had enough!
00:57:53I've had enough!
00:57:55No meat means no animal style.
00:57:58You got curry, rice, spring vegetables.
00:58:03This is a vegetarian dish.
00:58:04Is that your favorite?
00:58:07I'll go with the mystery dish.
00:58:10So be it.
00:58:30Curry, rice, vegetables, and the gunpowder from a single wine.
00:58:38No way, no freaking way.
00:58:40One bullet, one shot. If I miss you in, take the gun away.
00:58:44Hold on!
00:58:46I'm thinking.
00:58:46Take the gun!
00:58:48Shut up!
00:58:51If you wound me, I lose.
00:59:00Factor, what are you doing?
00:59:02What are you trying to pull?
00:59:04You learned I'm sorry.
00:59:06I'm sorry.
00:59:08I apologize.
00:59:10Take the gun.
00:59:12Okay.
00:59:14Okay.
00:59:15Take the gun!
00:59:16Okay!
00:59:17Crap!
00:59:18Oh!
00:59:20Stop!
00:59:21You gotta be kidding me.
00:59:23Chris!
00:59:25Oh!
00:59:27Oh!
00:59:27Oh!
00:59:47Come on, Bachel.
00:59:57This style of yours, it's very limited.
01:00:00I'm a master at salmon style.
01:00:03Grizzly style!
01:00:05Three.
01:00:12Don't scoop my guts out! No! No! Don't scoop my guts out!
01:00:18Hello? Anyone here?
01:00:25My conditions, right?
01:00:27Right.
01:00:29All right. You see the goggles?
01:00:32Yeah.
01:00:32Put them on.
01:00:36All right. Now, do you see the bell?
01:00:40One of you has to climb up and ring it.
01:00:46Ah! I'm hit! I'm an alien!
01:00:50It's just a paintball.
01:00:52A paintball that's been sitting in my freezer
01:00:54next to some ice cubes and some corn that I'll never eat.
01:00:58Hurts like sin, don't it?
01:01:00Now, one of you has to climb up the cage and ring the bell.
01:01:04If you stop, if you fall down, if you give up, if you cry,
01:01:09you lose and I win.
01:01:12We each get a chance.
01:01:13You each get a chance!
01:01:17Now, who's thirst?
01:01:19Why?
01:01:20It hurts. It really hurts.
01:01:23Are you crying?
01:01:24Yes.
01:01:25You can't cry!
01:01:26It's what I do!
01:01:29Don't you know how to repel pain?
01:01:31No!
01:01:31It's just pain.
01:01:33Then you do it!
01:01:35All right, then.
01:01:37Lose the shirt.
01:01:39Take off my shirt?
01:01:40Lose the shirt!
01:01:43Fine!
01:01:46Have at me, geek!
01:01:49Okay.
01:01:49You stay there!
01:01:50I'm going to reposition myself.
01:01:59All right.
01:02:04You have to go the whole way with a smile.
01:02:13Oh, sweet son of a bitch!
01:02:17Loser!
01:02:38You think they're coming?
01:02:42They're here.
01:02:45They're not here.
01:02:46They're not coming.
01:02:48And I'm on cloud nine.
01:03:17All right.
01:04:37Us too?
01:04:38Against all of you.
01:04:40Who are you?
01:04:41We represent your father's estate.
01:04:43Oh my God.
01:04:45We're fighting probate attorneys.
01:04:47Once it starts, at least one of you has to stay on this side at all times.
01:04:53No, you lose.
01:04:54So, we're safe on this side.
01:05:03Ed's.
01:05:25Get your hands up.
01:05:28Bend your knees.
01:05:29What?
01:05:32D.I.
01:05:33Dyson.
01:05:35Dyson.
01:05:36Dyson.
01:05:43I need your ordeal.
01:05:46Help me.
01:05:46Dyson.
01:05:51Oh!
01:06:00Oh!
01:06:01Daze!
01:06:08Daze! Daze!
01:06:14You ready to get back in there? Me?
01:06:17Daze!
01:06:21Okay. Okay. Just go stomp on his spear.
01:06:24Okay? Okay?
01:06:29Daze! I did it! I did it!
01:06:31Daze! Oh! I didn't! I didn't!
01:06:37Come on, little brother.
01:06:39You can do it.
01:07:04Daze!
01:07:23Daze!
01:07:25Daze!
01:07:26Daze!
01:07:27Daze!
01:07:29Daze!
01:07:34Daze!
01:07:36Ugh!
01:07:40Ugh!
01:07:44Ugh!
01:07:47Uh!
01:07:52Yeah!
01:08:17I'm going to sue you.
01:08:19I'm going to sue you.
01:08:21I'm going to sue you.
01:08:23Come on, Vatchel.
01:08:24I'll sue you.
01:08:25I'll sue you.
01:08:26We got to help him.
01:08:27We can do it.
01:08:28I'll sue you.
01:08:29I'll sue you.
01:08:30I'll sue you.
01:08:35Take it.
01:08:36Take it.
01:08:36Choke on it.
01:08:37We surrender.
01:08:38Shut up.
01:08:41Vatchel.
01:08:41Do it for your family.
01:08:43Come on.
01:08:44What are you doing?
01:09:42She'll take me.
01:09:44I'm gonna marry her.
01:09:46I've delivered my last pizza.
01:09:49I'm going back to school with triple allowance.
01:09:55Look, I've got you.
01:09:58I know.
01:10:00So what are you gonna do?
01:10:02Well, from your father.
01:10:19You know what I do have?
01:10:22I have my family.
01:10:24Yeah.
01:10:30That's the sound.
01:10:32What sound?
01:10:33The sound of both you losers getting off my teat.
01:10:39You're cutting me out?
01:10:40Beg, you suckers.
01:10:42Is that so hard?
01:10:45Beg for Vatchel's allowance.
01:10:47No, Shang.
01:10:48Please.
01:10:49He saved us.
01:10:50What does Piggy say at the trap?
01:10:52OK, OK.
01:10:54Please give me Vatchel's allowance.
01:10:56Please, please, please.
01:10:57What does Piggy say?
01:10:58Wee!
01:10:59Wee!
01:11:00Wee!
01:11:00Wee!
01:11:01Wee!
01:11:01Hey, I don't think we didn't pick up on that bring the family together through karate.
01:11:07Nice lesson, Sensei.
01:11:09Did it ever occur to you that maybe we weren't a great karate family?
01:11:14That the karate was average?
01:11:17Did you think we all loved you?
01:11:21Is that what kept you safe all those years?
01:11:25Well, nobody loved nobody.
01:11:30I did.
01:11:37Take a shower, Vatchel.
01:11:40You're through.
01:11:41Oh, no!
01:11:41You did.
01:11:52No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
01:12:37No, no, no, no.
01:12:42No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
01:12:58Okay, you bloodsuckers.
01:13:00Pay me.
01:13:04Voucher gets it all.
01:13:06Every dime.
01:13:09But I'm the chosen one.
01:13:12No.
01:13:17You need a job right freaking now!
01:13:36What's the matter with you?
01:13:38Why aren't you fighting?
01:13:39And what are you wearing?
01:13:41Prospector.
01:13:42Prospector clothes?
01:13:44You're Bachel Cho, a great Chinese martial artist!
01:13:48No, no.
01:13:49I can't take this.
01:13:51I'll just lay into him, he'll snap out of it.
01:13:57Chris!
01:14:06Now if you're lucky in this world, you meet the love of your life early.
01:14:10And for me, it was Bachel Cho, the boy next door.
01:14:14I could never smell or taste anything ever again.
01:14:19And you know what?
01:14:21It was worth it.
01:14:25Thanks!
01:14:26Hey, you did it!
01:14:28Oh, you found one!
01:14:30Mommy?
01:14:31Oh, sure.
01:14:44Say cheese.
01:14:46Cheese!
01:14:47Ah!
01:14:49Well done.
01:14:55They're the marina for everyone.
01:14:59The remainder of your black belt test is to find her.
01:15:03Yes!
01:15:21You did it!
01:15:23Oh!
01:15:24I'm sorry!
01:15:27I'm sorry!
01:15:31You're here!
01:15:32And I'm sorry!
01:15:53And away we go.
01:15:55Let's go!
01:15:58God!
01:16:09I see sandals on a guy, I don't want to stomp his feet.
01:16:13Get back in the shoes, get back in the shoes, be a man, get back in the shoes.
01:16:22Desiree?
01:16:23Delona?
01:16:23Delona?
01:16:25I'm no stranger to teasing.
01:16:30How many years of teasing did it take?
01:16:55I'm in!
01:16:57It hurts!
01:16:59I'm in!
01:17:01It hurts!
01:17:03I'm in!
01:17:05I'm in!
01:17:06I'm in!
01:17:08I'm in!
01:17:10I'm in!
01:17:30Cut!
01:17:31What!
01:17:33Hmmm!maybe
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