00:03This is where it all started four years ago.
00:58This is where it all started.
01:10She gave me an apple.
01:56You know, when we first met, I thought you looked like those kids from
01:59expensive art schools, like the ones they put in their brochures.
02:03The face of CSM.
02:05Exactly.
02:07What did I look like?
02:09I don't know. Special.
02:12Right.
02:15You didn't look generic, but you definitely looked arty.
02:20Do you want to see some of my drawings?
02:22Sure.
02:23Sorry, I don't want to be boring.
02:26You know me.
02:31Wow.
02:36They're nice.
02:41Oh, that's my mum.
02:44She looks like you.
02:48Her friend thought she was one of those Asian nannies taking care of white kids.
02:52Her friend?
02:54I mean, before they became friends.
02:56That's not very nice.
02:58Yeah.
02:59But children used to call me Chinese girl at school, so it's not clear whether I look Asian
03:04or not.
03:05So you got the best of both worlds?
03:08Yeah, I guess.
03:11I'm so sorry.
03:16Lucy became my entire life for four years.
03:21All right.
03:21Maybe not my entire life, but a good, you know, 95% of my life.
03:27Or maybe I wasn't that pathetic.
03:31Maybe 85%.
03:33I can't.
03:55I'm so sorry.
03:59I can't believe in my own future.
04:01Okay.
04:03Yeah, that's all.
04:05I'm super careful.
04:07But no, my God.
04:09I'm not going to die from Covid.
04:12Okay.
04:13Yeah.
04:15Well, listen,
04:16the work, it's...
04:18They were partying, and honestly, I don't know if they were going to stay.
04:26Well, I'm sorry.
04:28How can I get you to rembourses, you and dad?
04:32I can't.
04:33I can't, Mom. I can't get there.
04:38Yes, it's not a problem.
04:45No.
04:46No, it's okay.
04:52Bye.
05:11Bye.
05:11Bye.
05:11Bye.
05:21Bye.
05:27Bye.
05:37Bye.
05:37Bye.
05:37Bye.
05:43you're looking different i asked for store a roublon but it became ginger can you believe
05:50that really yes are you tipsy i drank a little bit today with friends no obviously not
06:08i shouldn't be here you're right sorry for making you break the law
06:15but it's just me here i'm not seeing anyone i don't bloody hope so
06:22all right isabel why'd you get me to come here what's going on
06:27i hate when you call me isabel
06:29isabel your mum named you isabel i always queep she looked beautiful that evening
06:37i should never have broken up with her what the am i supposed to call you
06:42you mean a lot to me don't do that bell sorry should i make us some coffee it's a bit
06:51late
06:51for coffee what do you mean it's never two days for coffee i'm fine
07:03sorry how's work
07:07nothing special how about you been furloughed but i got other offers as a freelancer
07:17um i just got lucky it's not because of my talent
07:23you know i see these other illustrators i went to school with and they're so
07:28fucking good and it's just making me question everything i do
07:33i was just drowning my confusion in alcohol today really is that why
07:40you're fine yeah i you know i feel ashamed that i'm not doing what i love i'm just too scared
07:47it's never working out oh wait i i have something for you
08:02it's never working out oh wait i don't know what you're doing
08:05uh yeah uh this is nice
08:11you don't like it it's lovely listen i need to go
08:15what no stay
08:20you know what this is your problem you get me to come over here and just talk about yourself
08:26that's not normal you do realize that
08:32oh my god
08:38i know i make mistakes all the time that's why i asked you here i won't say how sorry i
08:45am
08:48i want to be with you you don't know how to be with anyone well i love you don't do
08:57that
09:05you don't know how to be with my eyes
09:17what no
09:33Oh, my God.
10:03Let's go.
10:51This is where it all ends.
11:17I needed a change.
11:20I thought, every day I am going to have coffee and water, exactly in that order.
11:28It's like winding up a clock, you know, setting myself straight, working, forgetting.
11:40Let's go.
11:41Let's go.
11:41Let's go.
11:44Let's go.
11:54Let's go.
11:57Let's go.
12:01Let's go.
12:01Let's go.
12:03Let's go.
12:11Let's go.
12:20Let's go.
12:32Let's go.
12:53And this is how it starts again.
12:57Let's go.
12:57Let's go.
13:00Let's go.
13:09Let's go.
13:10Let's go.
13:11Let's go.
13:12Let's go.
13:12Let's go.
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