- 3 days ago
Category
π₯
Short filmTranscript
00:00I want you to show me how to get to know someone like you, someone like you.
00:10I want you to know me, cause I know then you'll see we can be true, we can be true.
00:20So, the wedding's next weekend, right?
00:24I told you this a million times. Yeah, it's next weekend, you're my date, so make sure you're not working.
00:33It's a joke. Besides, I'm not the one in the relationship that works too much.
00:39When was the last time we did this and your phone didn't ring?
00:43Okay, okay, let's just try to have a good night.
00:48Oh, I still need to plan the bachelorette party. I'm thinking I'm going to run a party bus and go
00:55to the strip club.
00:55I'm pretty sure Amber would love that.
00:58Of course.
00:59I still can't believe she's getting married.
01:02This is the time where people start to settle down.
01:07Look, I promised I wasn't about to have another commitment conversation.
01:13I'm not trying to get married, but it's been over a year, Christian.
01:19Asking to move in together really isn't that unreasonable.
01:26Babe, let's just make dinner.
01:31Love on each other.
01:37Get dirty.
01:54Jessica, I know you may be upset.
01:58You're amazing, and you're going to make someone happy one day.
02:02You're not asking for too much.
02:04I just can't give you what you want.
02:06I might as well be honest.
02:08Kim has come back in my life, and I realize that I can't give you what you want
02:12because my heart still belongs to her.
02:16I love you, just not in love.
02:20Sorry.
02:21Take care.
02:23Take care.
02:31Take care.
02:31Take care.
02:31Bye.
02:31Bye.
02:44Bye.
02:52Bye.
02:53Oh, I'm so sorry.
03:02I'm sorry, I shouldn't be watching you.
03:06It's okay, I clearly wasn't paying attention either.
03:11Can I get my notebook back?
03:13Yeah, sorry.
03:47Hey, baby, what you up to?
03:50Hey, Mom. Just got home from work.
03:52Grabbed some tea.
03:53Are you alone?
03:55Yes, Mom, I'm alone. Thank you for reminding me.
03:59Sweetie, I think you need to try meetme.com.
04:02You know, that's where I met Bob.
04:04And I have definitely grabbed my groove back.
04:08Hmm, that man has done things to me.
04:13I didn't even know it was still possible.
04:15You know, he ain't nothing like your father.
04:17Can you please stop?
04:20Well, now we're both grown with needs, urges.
04:24You know what?
04:25I was reading in Cosmo that your vagina can close up after you stop using it.
04:30Can we please talk about something else besides my unused vagina?
04:35Besides, I'm a lesbian. I don't even need to worry about that.
04:39But I thought all lesbians use dildos.
04:41You know, I was watching an episode of Real Sex and-
04:44No, please do not finish that sentence.
04:46I'm sure you called to talk about something else besides my love life.
04:50Oh, yeah. I want you to come to dinner Friday night at 7.
04:53Okay, great. I'll see you on Friday at 7. Bye.
04:59Good.
05:00Alright, sweetie. I'll see you soon.
05:02I love you.
05:04But you know what? One more thing.
05:07Naturally.
05:28Hey, Mom, I brought those caramel cupcakes you like.
05:34Mom?
05:39Mom?
05:41Mom?
05:41Where are you?
05:45Mom?
05:47Oh, hey, baby!
05:49I didn't even hear you come in.
05:51You remember Bob, right?
05:52Hi.
05:54I'm so glad to see you.
05:57Aww.
05:58Aww.
06:00Okay, listen.
06:02I know you said stop fixing you up.
06:04But there's a woman who comes here in the barbershop next door to where I get my hair done.
06:08And she's so cute.
06:10I think you guys would be great together.
06:12Her name is Jada.
06:14Jada and Jessica.
06:15It has a nice ring to it, don't you think?
06:18It's an alliteration.
06:20No, no, no. Don't be upset, baby.
06:23Here. I want you to go put some lipstick on.
06:25Get real cute like Mama taught you, okay?
06:28Go ahead.
06:34You're fixing up Jessica with Jada?
06:37Yeah.
06:40I told you she was funny.
06:41I thought you meant funny ha-ha.
06:43No, funny. That type of funny.
06:46She's a lady that likes ladies.
06:48You need any further clarification?
06:50I mean, it's okay.
06:52I mean, the dude at the dentist's office receptionist, I think he's that way.
06:58Baby.
06:59You just keep on pouring in wine, okay?
07:04Go. Go ahead.
07:10Adorable!
07:13Okay, listen.
07:15She's here.
07:16Jessica, please be nice. Promise.
07:20Yeah. Okay. Okay, okay. Here she comes. Here she comes.
07:27Jada, this is Jessica.
07:29Jessica, this is Jada.
07:32I know you.
07:33You ran into me.
07:34Wait a minute. You all know each other?
07:36Yeah, she practically knocked me down earlier this week.
07:41Okay, how about we just all go over to the table and start eating and get to know each other?
07:45Yeah.
07:50Mom, you said you were cooking.
07:53No, I said come over for dinner.
07:55I didn't say anything about me cooking.
07:56My friends over in the Chinese kitchen?
07:58They made dinner.
07:59Let's go sit down in this sleep.
08:05You know, Jada, I haven't met too many female barbers. What got you into this profession?
08:13Well, a lot more women are going to come to barbers these days.
08:17A lot more women are cutting their hair short.
08:19So, quite a few of my clients are women, but the majority are men.
08:24I know guys like a woman to cut their hair.
08:28Yeah, they do.
08:30And they still think, you know, they got a chance.
08:33They think all they need is just like...
08:36Right, man. Turn your back.
08:38Right.
08:40But to answer your question, my father was a barber.
08:44And I really used to look out to him.
08:48Actually, I wanted to be just like him.
08:50Would you keep using past tense?
08:52My father passed away about five years ago.
08:55I'm so sorry, baby.
08:58Jessica's father passed away about five years ago, too.
09:01What? Mom, we talked about this.
09:04My father's not dead.
09:05He lives in Florida.
09:07With a slut.
09:09Also known as my ex-best friend.
09:13But Jada, there's no hard feelings.
09:15It's on my side.
09:17I still wish a lot for them.
09:19Like I wish they died in a hurricane.
09:22Or they got eaten by sharks.
09:25Or better yet, I wish they'd bake in the hot Florida sun and catch skin cancer.
09:31Nothing big.
09:32Okay.
09:34So, anybody want me to do, sir?
09:37Your mom is...
09:39nice.
09:40You can be honest.
09:42My mother is crazy.
09:45Look, at least she was right about working.
09:49What's that?
09:51She was right about working.
09:54She was right about working.
09:56Look, you seem nice.
09:58But I don't think I want to do another...
10:01Let's just say my mom has fixed me up with some interesting people.
10:06And I just don't want to do another fiasco.
10:10Sorry.
10:13Hey mom, it's getting late. I think I'm gonna head out.
10:17I could walk out with you.
10:21Look, I know you don't want your mom to fix you up before.
10:25But this short time of knowing you...
10:27Listen, I think you're intelligent, interesting, and definitely beautiful.
10:32Actually, I would consider myself a monkey if you were not on a date with me.
10:37Uh, I don't know.
10:39Look, I got tickets for Second City.
10:44Okay, I guess so.
10:46It could be fun.
10:47And I can promise you...
10:50I might turn them off.
10:53We'll see about that.
10:55Alright.
11:17Twenty minutes late.
11:19She has five more minutes.
11:23I'm so sorry.
11:25Work ran over.
11:26Yeah, you could have called me.
11:29You know what? I swear, I'm not that inconsiderable.
11:31My phone dad...
11:32Listen, today has been the craziest thing.
11:34Please don't use that.
11:36Well, I guess I'm glad you're so busy with so many clients cutting hair, right?
11:42Look, I'm a graduate student, alright?
11:43And I studied how culture-influenced reception help.
11:46Today, I was set up with my advisor, but things ran over.
11:49Look, I just cut hair on side.
11:51Is that good enough for you, Miss Bougie?
11:52Wait, what?
11:53You know, I heard your tone.
11:54The fact that I cut hair.
11:57No...
11:57No, I'm not Bougie.
11:59I just... I'm ambition and sexy.
12:02That's all.
12:03And I find you very sexy.
12:38Here's your check.
12:40No rush.
12:43Mm-hmm.
12:43Mm-hmm.
12:44I'll take care of the bills, since I did ask you out.
12:47Plus, I was extra late.
12:50Alright?
12:51Please, I guess.
12:52It's not bad.
12:53Okay.
13:00Oh, my God. This came out.
13:02What's wrong?
13:05I must have left my wallet at work.
13:13That's the oldest trick in the book.
13:15Trick?
13:16Yes.
13:18What?
13:19You were 30 minutes late.
13:21Then you conveniently leave your wallet at work after ordering a million drinks?
13:26Really?
13:28No. The joke is on me, Jada.
13:31Good night.
13:31Look, it's not any joke. Listen.
13:33Okay, look.
13:34I already have the tickets for the show, okay?
13:37And they come with a drink.
13:38Look, I can pay you back on our second day.
13:41If you choose not to go out with me, I can send it to your mom.
13:44I swear, today has been so embarrassed.
13:46Look, I'll get on with it.
13:47No, don't do that.
13:50Look, you're lucky.
13:52I've been wanting to go to this show for a while, so...
13:55I'm going for the show, not for you.
13:57And that's fine with me, alright?
13:59Okay.
13:59Alright.
14:08See? Wasn't it pretty good?
14:10It was a good play. I enjoyed myself.
14:13Well, I'm glad you enjoyed it.
14:17Whoa!
14:20I don't think I was going to catch you.
14:21My knight in shining armor? What would I do without you?
14:25You probably would have brushed your face.
14:28So you're my hero?
14:38I should head home. It's getting cold.
14:42Or, we could head back to my clothes.
14:46I'll make some nice hot chocolate to keep you warm.
14:52So, you're bribing me?
14:54Technically, it's not bribing you if it's something that you want to do.
15:00I'll come for an hour.
15:01Okay. That works for me.
15:12Thanks.
15:15You're about to taste my famous mint chocolate.
15:25Okay.
15:26Okay. That's pretty good hot chocolate.
15:28Yeah.
15:33May I use your restroom?
15:34The chocolate ran through you already?
15:36No, silly. I need to pee.
15:38It's alright. The Febreze is under the chair.
15:40Silly.
15:53Okay.
15:58Okay, Jessica.
16:01This night has only been a slight disaster.
16:05But she's fine.
16:06And you haven't been laid in six months.
16:25I don't know if I'm a loser.
16:37I have no idea why you're a headache.
16:38Wait a minute!
16:38I can't go on.
16:39You probably make fun.
16:39You were a bully.
16:39Oh, man.
16:40You did a lot of fun.
16:41I'm with it, I'm with it, I'm with it, I'm with it, I'm with it
16:55I don't wanna waste your time
17:01Girl, I'm like these other guys
17:08Like if I had your heart, I would do no
17:12Treat you like you need to be, you're smiling all day long
17:16You know I'm wanting you right now, I bet I'm wanting you so
17:20Got me where you want me, baby, go and avoid me
17:24Now tell me if you feel slaving, cause I can change your mind
17:31If I think you're really here, friend me
17:35I'm trying to make you mine
17:41Got me feeling so, damn, man I don't know
17:44I ain't never felt this before, never gonna let you go
17:48Now it's just you and me
17:50We should give it a try
17:53We can't give it a try
17:55I ain't more like, I won't waste your time
18:02I'll just tell you how, how I really feel
18:09I hope you know I'm down for sure
18:11Girl, you should know that I'm
18:12Jada, I hear someone coming into your house
18:16I didn't hear anything?
18:19Oh yeah, I heard the door close
18:21What the hell?
18:23Wait right here
18:31What are you doing here?
18:33I thought we should make up
18:34Make up?
18:35We broke up, remember?
18:37How did you even get in here?
18:38I made a copy
18:39I knew you'd pull a stunt like that
18:41Look, you need to get out now
18:43Oh, who do you have up in here?
18:45Look, you need to go
18:46You need to go now
18:48Where you going?
18:49No, you get out
18:50You have a girlfriend
18:52No
18:52Yes
18:53We were together last night
18:55I'm Nadia
18:56No, look
18:57We were not together last night
18:58That's my ex
18:59She's crazy
18:59She stalked me
19:00Crazy?
19:01My therapist says that I am a little bit overzealous
19:04Listen, I apologize for attacking your cousin
19:07Which is your fault for not introducing me to your family
19:10And I apologize for setting your car on fire
19:14It was an accident
19:17Let me guess
19:18This your cousin too
19:20Jada, who is this hoe in our house?
19:23I'm not a hoe
19:24Oh, is she pretty, huh?
19:26We'll see how pretty she is when I'm done with her
19:28Oh, hell no
19:29No, wait, please don't go
19:31No
19:31Please, no, no
19:32I'm done
19:34Nadia, get out
19:36It's just me and you, baby
19:40Listen, you're supposed to be the Ellen to my Portia
19:43Jada, we have a connection
19:45No, if you don't get out of my
19:46We're going to connect to your ass
19:47Okay, I'm going
19:49Get out of the room a night
20:12So have you called her yet?
20:13Or at least return any of her calls?
20:16Um, no
20:16What about that date screams I'm going to call her again?
20:20Well, for one thing, she's fine
20:23I mean, if I were into the ladies, I would totally give her a go
20:29Whatever
20:30You said before the whole Czech fiasco that you enjoyed her conversation
20:33She made you laugh, she picked a good show
20:37And you all have comparable taste
20:40You said that she was a really good kisser, better than what's-her-name, and that you've never been so
20:45turned on
20:46Yeah
20:47You know you need someone to tame that punana
20:51Please do not say that again
20:54Look, I'm going to start a meet me profile
20:56And I invited you bitches over here to help me fill it out
21:01Oh, and you need the help
21:04Don't use this profile picture, you look cross-eyed
21:06Okay
21:07Oh, don't use that one either
21:09Don't you have a picture that looks like you've got some tatas?
21:16There's photoshopped
21:17Okay, now you have to write something interesting
21:20Um, good kisser
21:24Okay
21:24Who likes to bend you over and eat that
21:29Um, no, you're not writing that
21:31Aw
21:32Have me out of your crazy
21:34No
21:38You're not me getting crazy, people
21:41Intelligent
21:42Young
21:43Boring
21:43Professional
21:44Boring
21:46Boring
21:56I'm sorry
22:01She's never done this before
22:04It's you?
22:06Don't sound so excited
22:09How have you been?
22:10You look great
22:11I've been good
22:12What are you doing here in my neighborhood?
22:14In my park?
22:16Oh, I'm sorry
22:17I thought this was a public park
22:18But it's actually your park
22:20Yeah, they're changing the sign next week
22:23Anyway
22:24I had to move
22:25My crazy ex kept stopping by unannounced
22:27Plus, in my new place, I can have a dog
22:31Anyway
22:31I was wondering if
22:33I almost forgot about your crazy ex
22:37Take care, Jada
22:39Oh, really?
22:40Come on, Jess
22:41Really?
22:44And how will we ever know
22:47That love will ever grow
22:48Without trying
22:51Without trying
22:52And how will we ever see
22:56If we are meant to be
22:58It's terrifying
23:00It's terrifying
23:10Come on, buddy
23:16Where are you guys dragging me to again?
23:18We're seeing a lecture by Dr. Howell
23:21She wrote the book I told you about
23:22Remember?
23:23It's called
23:24The Vagina Has a Spirit
23:28Of course you guys would bring me to some freaky nonsense
23:31This was your idea, right?
23:33No, no, no
23:34Call her
23:34It's not freaky
23:35It's spiritual
23:37She did a lot of research for her book
23:39In ancient Asian cultures
23:41They did vaginal seams
23:42Not only to clear out toxins
23:44But also to better the vagina karma
23:48Her book changed life
23:51How, Amber?
23:53How did this book change your life?
23:57After I bettered my vagina karma
23:59I met the woman of my dreams
24:01And quite frankly
24:02You could use the help
24:03Oh, really?
24:04Yes
24:06You need this lecture
24:08You have an angry vagina
24:11A sad vagina
24:13A lonely vagina
24:15I mean, it's been what?
24:16Like eight months?
24:19Whatever
24:20So, where is everybody?
24:22We're early
24:25Besides, there's somebody I wanted you to meet
24:34You guys made it
24:36Thanks for bringing it
24:38You guys set me up
24:56I know we had a crazy person date
24:59But
25:00I swear
25:01I haven't stopped thinking about you
25:03I think you should give us a chance
25:04If you just let your guards down
25:06My guard isn't up
25:07And even if it was
25:09The last time I let my guard down
25:11I'm the one who got hurt
25:13Listen, you have to let go and take a chance
25:15Can you honestly say
25:16That you haven't thought about me?
25:18I've thought about you once or twice
25:21Well, had my crazy ex
25:23My new wife
25:24You've been thinking about me everyday
25:26Oh my god, you're a mess
25:29Seriously, Jessica
25:31I think you should give us a chance
25:33I
25:33I think we could possibly have some
25:36This could be because of men
25:38Don't you agree?
25:41I am drawn to you
25:44You make me feel so indescribable
25:46And it scared me
25:50Plus
25:51Yes
25:52You do have this office
25:54List of our cover
25:55kids
25:55Let's do that.
26:32We're meant to be
Comments