- 6 hours ago
Half.Man.S01E01.540p.X265.AAC [Full Movie] [Official Release]Full EP - Full
Category
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Short filmTranscript
00:00Oh
00:53I'm not speaking about this.
00:58You don't have to speak.
01:00You have to listen.
01:03Really?
01:06You picked today.
01:09My fucking wedding.
01:16Come on, Truman, stop messing.
01:21Put your top back on.
01:34Oh, for fuck's sake.
01:45Oh, Niall.
01:53Come here.
01:55Come here.
02:02I'm proud of you, yeah?
02:05You know that?
02:13You look gorgeous, so you do.
02:15I tell you, if I wasn't family, I'd get up and underneath that kilt right away.
02:20No, Ruben, don't.
02:21What?
02:22I tell you, you look gorgeous.
02:24Come on, show me.
02:24There's nothing to show, Ruben.
02:25I've got boxes on underneath, for Christ's sake.
02:27Oh, boxers.
02:28Stop teasing me, you little mate.
02:33Hey.
02:34Yeah.
02:35Come here, look at me.
02:36Look at me.
02:38That's it.
02:41Look at me.
02:44We may not flow through each other's veins, but we flow through each other's brains, you
02:49get me?
02:50Please, I don't think that...
02:50One more time, eh?
02:52For all time's sake.
02:54I just need to hear it.
02:57Before I lose you forever.
02:58You're not serious.
03:01Go on.
03:02Say it.
03:03What am I?
03:08Your brother from...
03:16You're not a lover.
03:23Beautiful.
03:51Come on, give us your badge
04:04What is this now?
04:06Oh, fucking stickers
04:09Indiana Jones
04:12That film is gay as fuck
04:14I'm gonna have these
04:15No, please, Gus
04:20You can keep one
04:21Okay
04:23I'm not on one star
04:25Pick one
04:29Second to last
04:30Good
04:51Open up
05:00Okay, degenerate
05:01Settle down, settle down
05:06Right, as we know the prelim exams start this week
05:10Are we aware of how important they are?
05:16Prelims are your safety net
05:18For whatever reason you missed your finals
05:20You get hit by a bus
05:22You come down with a bubonic plague
05:24These exams are your get out of jail with an appeals card
05:28Have I emphasized their importance enough?
05:34Positively spellbinding
05:37Right, moving on
05:38I should probably make you aware that a new student will be joining the class from tomorrow
05:43One Reuben Pallister
05:46What?
05:49Some of them are, Kennedy
05:51No, it's just
05:54Did you just say
05:56Reuben Pallister?
05:58That's right
05:58A new pupil you can show off your sparkling personality to
06:04Reuben will be transferring from Pullman Young Offenders Institute
06:07And we'll be re-sitting two years
06:09Which means they'll be a little more feral than the rest of you
06:13Any questions?
06:17Nobody
06:17Good
06:18Open your jars
06:19We'll pick up where we left off yesterday
06:22Page 16
06:26Kennedy
06:27Did you listen to what I just said?
06:30What?
06:30Yeah
06:31Of course
06:33What did I just say then?
06:37Reuben's back
06:50Mum, it's Niall
06:52Honey, I'm working, what is it?
06:53It's Reuben, he's out, he's coming to school
06:55Look, now is not the time, alright?
06:57He's not staying with us, is he?
06:58We can talk about this when I pick you up
07:00But mum
07:21You should have said about her then
07:22Don't piss yourself
07:23You're a 15-year-old boy
07:26Given your life, I don't need to give you respect
07:32Look, I'm sorry, okay?
07:35I should have told you
07:37I'm keeping with the theme of surprises
07:39He's moved into your room?
07:42What?
07:42No way
07:43What did you think that second bed was for?
07:44We were almost begging you to ask
07:46I thought it was for guests
07:47He is a guest
07:48No, he's not
07:49He's a psycho
07:50He bit someone's nose off
07:51I've seen the guy too
07:52It's horrible
07:53His wife left him and everything
08:03Look, you're not to talk about this, okay?
08:05Nobody in this town knows about that
08:07The last thing that boy needs is folk whispering
08:09Don't bite people's noses off then
08:11No, shh
08:11You're not to speak this way in front of Maura
08:13Alright?
08:13Oh, you always put her first
08:14She was only supposed to be living with us for six months
08:17And now her kid is moving in
08:18Come on, mum
08:19He's a psycho
08:20Her son getting out is a big deal
08:22He's been away for two years
08:24For Christ's sake
08:25This is happening, Niall
08:27So get used to it
09:03He's been away for two years
09:04He's been away for three years
09:08I left him for two years
09:08This is nothing
09:09He's been away for two years
09:15Here's another church
09:16And Jeann
09:17The church
09:22Remember me, Bambi?
09:24Last time I saw you, you were about yay high.
09:33Grown at least two feet since then, maybe more.
09:36You've got the exact same size head, though.
09:39Creeping me out a bit.
09:46You helping or what?
09:48We can't have this shit up.
09:50No matter if we're bringing Buds home.
09:52Yeah.
09:56Get to it then, Bambi.
09:58Grab a bag, get stuff in.
10:07Yeah.
10:08Take that poster down and put this up.
10:26Put it up, then, you dick.
10:27Put it up then, you dick.
10:54What the fuck are you staring at?
10:58What?
11:00Nothing.
11:26Looks like Pallister's a no-show.
11:28Off to a great start.
11:31All right, everyone, open your jotters.
11:33We'll pick up from yesterday.
11:43Right, what's going on here?
11:50Kennedy.
11:52Open your jotter.
11:55No.
11:57Open, boy.
12:06Who did this?
12:08Oh, no.
12:09Come on.
12:12Uh, me, sir.
12:15You?
12:16You called your own mum a dyke?
12:18No, I called someone else's mum a dyke.
12:21Really?
12:22I know firsthand from your essays.
12:24Your grasp of irony isn't that strong.
12:28So, come on.
12:29Who did this?
12:34My mum is not a lesbian.
12:36I beg your pardon?
12:37I said, my mum is not a fucking lesbian.
12:43Look, come with me.
12:45Go off me, you nods.
12:47What did you say?
12:48Like to touch young boys, do you?
12:50You fucking old poof.
12:53I'm just wondering if there's something else we should be worrying about.
12:56What are you insinuating?
12:57All I'm saying is I've seen a change in Niall recently.
13:00And what change is that, then?
13:01Look, he's gone from being a committed, gifted student to one that acts out in most lessons.
13:05Sir, go on.
13:06I know you want to.
13:07Look, we have to call into question Niall's rather unusual state of affairs at home.
13:10You don't know anything about my damn home.
13:28You fucking fucking bastard, man!
13:35Oi, Rook!
13:37I know you're up there!
13:38What?
13:40I've seen about.
13:41I am what?
13:43Okay, reason!
13:45Is that your dad?
13:46Shut the fuck up.
13:47I'll wait, no conserver!
13:53You're not a muck.
13:55I'm not these fucking muck.
13:57You get down here and explain why you stay with that dite!
14:03And not me!
14:05Ruben, son.
14:07Let's start again, eh?
14:09I think you give your old man a big hug, eh?
14:15I don't think I can't see you, boy!
14:18Where is he?
14:19By the fucking color we've learned before!
14:22I'll get, I'll get mum.
14:23I'll be with a bitch!
14:25We're in a bitch!
14:26Don't shoot her.
14:27Fucking deal.
14:31No, it'll work.
14:32Okay?
14:33No, it'll fucking work.
14:35No, it'll fucking work.
14:36No, it'll fucking work.
14:38No, it'll fucking work.
14:39No, it'll fucking work.
14:40No, it'll fucking work.
14:42You don't tell anyone about this.
14:44They understand.
14:45This never happened.
15:18I don't know.
16:28Now we were asleep.
16:30Both of us.
16:34Oh, right.
16:35Well, that's okay then.
16:37Ignore me.
16:59Fuck are you staring up?
17:02Just seeing if you're all right.
17:04Why wouldn't I be?
17:05It's just last night.
17:06Fuck last night.
17:08No, yeah.
17:09Absolutely.
17:10Fuck last night.
17:18So are you nervous or?
17:20How the fuck would I be nervous?
17:21Well, first day of school.
17:23This is Dal Kenny.
17:24It's where the fairies go.
17:25Hey, soft cock.
17:27Are you a boyfriend?
17:30Ignore them.
17:32These guys bothering you, Bambi?
17:33Nah, it's just banter.
17:35Big after your mum, do you, you little faggot?
17:38Great banter.
17:42These guys bothering you, Bambi?
17:46I'll ask you again.
17:48Are these guys bothering you?
18:00Is that a knife?
18:01Go to school.
18:02What?
18:02Go to school.
18:03You're not a witness if you don't see what happens.
18:04It's all right.
18:05Just fucking go.
18:08Go.
18:40And at the heart of this relentless conflict lies a love story.
18:47Ah, Mr. Pallister.
18:49Nice of you to fit us into your busy schedule.
18:52Boys and girls, this is Ruben.
18:54Ruben will be joining us from now on.
18:59Where's your school uniform?
19:00On your mother's floor.
19:02That's enough, everyone.
19:06Disc at the back.
19:10And for the record, my mum's dead.
19:12So extra points for nihilism.
19:20Right.
19:21As I was saying, two households like families.
19:25Both in a bit of a feud.
19:27Cuts.
20:00You've been working out.
20:01Nihil.
20:02Certainly has.
20:04Now there's only an inch of space when I cut my hand around his bicep.
20:07Used to be at least two, three maybe.
20:09Go into my room.
20:10No, don't.
20:13Sit down, you little killjoy.
20:23We need you to persuade Ruben to go to the exam tomorrow.
20:27What?
20:28No way.
20:28Nihil, please.
20:29Mm-hmm.
20:30Do this for us.
20:31What are you doing?
20:32Um, please.
20:34Stop now, I'm not a kid.
20:35And that's exactly what you are.
20:37Off me.
20:37Oh, come on.
20:38Just do this for me.
20:39Go on, go on.
20:40Come on, Nihil.
20:41I need you to do this.
20:42Come on.
20:43Please.
20:43Go off me.
20:44Come on.
20:45Come on.
20:45Just this one thing.
20:46Oh, please.
20:47I said go off me.
20:57I'll take it from here.
21:08Okay.
21:11That's a fairly sizable nice fire in the airport.
21:16But she's making all the effort in the world.
21:18I don't care.
21:20We're not friends.
21:21We never will be.
21:23Come on.
21:24Fancy the pants off of her when you were a wee in.
21:27Remember the love letters we'd send to her house on Valentine's Day?
21:34Fine.
21:35Playtime's over.
21:39Luke, will you speak to him at least?
21:41No.
21:42No, he's terrifying.
21:44Come on, Nihil.
21:45You wouldn't believe how hard Maura had to work to get Ruben into Dalkenny.
21:49She changed her postcodes and everything.
21:52He's on probation too, so he needs to show up and pass this prelim,
21:55for the school will kick him out.
21:59He's making a movie.
22:15Fuck.
22:17Fuck.
22:23Clever
22:24Just cause I've never said no name
22:26What I say never, never, never
22:29Ever
22:34Things got a bit lead to what I never said
22:36Till me mouth becomes dead which ain't not all that
22:40Clever
22:43And it's not not saying one thing, no
22:46Not another of another
22:47Is it anything you'll ever say?
22:52Whatever
22:54What's just eat?
22:55What, what do you mean?
22:56Am I speaking foreign?
22:57That's what he does
22:58You tell anyone about this I will put you to sleep
23:01Do you understand?
23:01I won't
23:02I mean, I thought it was great
23:04I thought it was great
23:29What do you want?
23:32Just a quick something that's come to me just now, in the moment
23:39I was thinking about the exam tomorrow
23:41Fuck off
23:42Right you are
24:10Your dad
24:18What about him?
24:21How old were you again?
24:26How was he?
24:28When he died?
24:32What did he do again?
24:39He was a writer
24:41Oh yeah?
24:43I don't remember that
24:45Well he worked in a pub mainly but
24:48He wanted to be a writer
24:50And what did he write about?
24:55Working in a pub
25:04He was really good though
25:06I've read all his stuff
25:08He was so close to getting published in the end
25:10What stopped him?
25:13Well
25:15Death
25:30That's why I want to give it a shot myself, you know
25:32You're right too
25:34I keep a diary
25:36That doesn't count
25:37Try sending that to Anne Frank
25:38Who?
25:41Who?
25:41No, no, she was just
25:43No, it doesn't matter
25:57What happened to Gus?
26:02He'll survive
26:07I just thought with the knife you'd done something
26:10You know
26:13Really bad
26:15Almost did
26:17And I'm up against the wall with it
26:19Guppy and like mad
26:22Whispered
26:22It'll be over soon
26:25So he thought for a second
26:26I was going to stick it in him proper
26:29It'll be over soon
26:34I love seeing that
26:37You really get a sense of what a cunt looks like
26:39When they think they're going to die
26:42You sort of infant like
26:44It's all innocent and shit, it's weird
26:48It'll be over soon
27:00Night, Bumpers
27:04Night
27:17Where's a bulldog now, eh?
27:18Get off
27:19It's not the way you tell us where Gus is
27:20I don't know
27:21We know you live with that inbred prick
27:22You're bound to have said something
27:23We don't talk
27:26Go on
27:27Oi
27:42Leave me alone
27:52Bye
27:54Bye
27:54Bye
27:56Bye
27:58Bye
28:40Let's smoke this, son of a bitch!
28:42Woo! Woo!
28:44Come on! Come on!
28:45Pallister, nice of you to join.
28:47Please refrain from shouting out.
28:49It's only prelims. Where am I sitting?
28:51There's an empty chair there, two rows along.
28:54Please move quietly.
29:39All right, guys. We have ten minutes left.
29:42Ten minutes? Get fucked.
29:43Language, Pallister.
29:45I started later than everyone.
29:46Well, I'm afraid the onus is on you there.
29:48Piss off, Jenkins. I shagged your mum in her onus.
29:53Pallister, get back here.
29:56Pallister, don't you walk away from me, son.
29:59Oi! I'm speaking to you.
30:30Pallister, I'm speaking to you.
30:31All right, guys, not long now.
31:16This girlfriend.
31:18Oh, Jesus.
31:20What now?
31:21Reuben passed.
31:23He passed the prelim.
31:26He can stay in school now.
31:29Oh, really?
31:31Yeah.
31:34You helped him, didn't you?
31:36Oh, no, I...
31:38Last night, I heard you talking.
31:45I mean that.
31:49I know we haven't always seen it eye to eye.
31:52Mainly because you're a little brat who blames me for everything.
31:56I do think you could be a positive influence on my boy.
32:04Thanks.
32:07I think.
32:15No, that feels weird.
32:19Let's never do that again.
32:20I don't know.
32:20I don't know.
32:29I don't know.
32:50I've got to keep it down. Bambi's sleeping.
33:03Isn't it a bit weird doing this with a wee Nile in the room?
33:06I don't care. I passed the prelims today and I did it in a speck at the time every other
33:10fucker.
33:11Stop it, Ruben. If I swear anymore, I'm going to put my back out.
33:14Shh! I don't know.
33:16I thought you said you didn't care about him hearing.
33:18What are you doing? I just don't want my mum rubbing one out all week.
33:24Yeah, TV's off. I want it for you, Scal, Scal.
33:27Oh, baby.
33:47Okay, here, here.
34:09Caught you, Nile Kennedy.
34:10What? No, I was sleeping. Fuck off. We saw you.
34:14I wasn't. I was sleeping.
34:15Liar. At least admit it, you little scrote. You were perving.
34:19Pervy little Nile Kennedy, eh?
34:23So, tell me, did you see anything that you liked?
34:33Quite something, huh?
34:35Is this the first time you've seen a naked woman?
34:40In the flesh.
34:44And what do you think?
34:48She, she, she, she, she looks...
34:50What would you do to her, Nile, if you could have your way?
34:56Go on.
34:59I would, I would, I'd, I'd ask her for her permission.
35:03Obviously.
35:04Fucking loser, aren't you, Bambi?
35:06Touch my breath, Nile.
35:08What?
35:22Here.
35:23Let's see how he's getting on, shall we?
35:25What?
35:26No, no, no, no, no, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, no, no, no, no, no.
35:28That's fine, Bambi.
35:30Just relax, okay?
35:31Let her do her thing.
35:47Wow. Nothing. What's going on? You got something against Mona?
35:52Is it my boobs?
35:53What? No, it's just that this isn't how I pictured it.
35:57How did you picture it then? More than one woman.
36:01That's it, isn't it? Niall here loves grip sex.
36:05No, no, I don't.
36:06Little Niall Kennedy loves a bit of group sex.
36:10Well, I could assume different characters if you like.
36:14I could be Candy, a blonde bombshell who lives next door.
36:19Or I could be Svetlana, Russian warrior of the North.
36:27She's incredible, isn't she now?
36:29There's something to keep her.
36:31Uh-uh. Svetlana is kept by no one.
36:34How's he getting on now, then?
36:37Come on, son.
36:38I got Phil Marks on my Santa grades back in the day, Niall.
36:41I know you love a nerd.
36:45Here.
36:47Just focus on how things feel.
36:49Give me your finger.
37:01Oh, hello.
37:03Here we go, my man.
37:06You ready?
37:08Okay.
37:34Easy, boy.
37:36Steady.
37:37Steady.
37:46Oh, wow.
37:47He's a grower, young Niall.
37:53Oh.
37:57Sorry.
37:58Back you go, mister.
37:59No, no, no, no, no.
38:00Just do it.
38:01Fighting.
38:02Let her do her thing.
38:04Here.
38:05I'll hold it up, Ray.
38:06What?
38:16Hold it, son.
38:18Hold.
38:21Hold on my rhythm.
38:41Wow.
38:42He's really going for a night.
39:09For fuck's sake, did you just call me me?
39:13You fucking did, you mink!
39:15Oh no, for our feet are all!
39:17Now son, you need to pull out!
39:18For fuck's sake, I better not be pregnant!
39:20I'm sorry, I didn't mean to, it just came out of nowhere.
39:23Relax, son, it's fine.
39:25But I mean, like, what happens now?
39:28Will I get the virus?
39:32What?
39:36Do you mean AIDS?
39:50Oh, my God.
39:52Lie back, you daft cunt.
39:59So, is that it then?
40:04That's it Bambi.
40:14I don't know what you mean.
40:17I'm afraid.
40:18I'm afraid.
40:19I'm afraid.
40:28I'm afraid.
40:33I'm afraid.
40:35I'm afraid.
40:54I was just thinking, do you have any hash?
41:06We can bake Niall Kennedy. Dark Horse, my man.
41:18Niall Kennedy, eh?
41:21Sex God, drug fiend.
42:05I was thinking, do you have any questions?
42:06I was thinking, do you have any questions?
42:14Well, I get the virus.
42:18Oh, I feel the kind of deal.
42:22Nah, you're good.
42:26I know what you did.
42:29As in?
42:31You got him.
42:32Oh.
42:37I've never seen her look at me like that before.
42:42I've seen her cry loads.
42:47You know, but...
42:53I like this.
42:55It works.
43:03What did you make of Mona, then?
43:05Yeah, I liked her.
43:07Yeah, you fucking did.
43:09You can thank me when you're ready.
43:13Someone had to lose your virginity for you, didn't they?
43:17Oh, come on.
43:18You didn't think that was chance, did you?
43:22There's no way.
43:23There's no way a lassie would take time out from sleeping with me to sleep with you.
43:27I set it up.
43:29My way of saying thanks.
43:37So, come on.
43:38Tell me you loved it.
43:42I loved it.
43:45Yeah, you did.
43:49I should run a brothel or something.
43:51I'm like the Pied Piper of pussy.
43:55Yeah.
44:09I don't know.
44:40I don't know.
45:20I don't know.
45:26I don't know.
45:27Fuck him.
45:31Yeah.
45:32Afraid so.
45:36Does it bother you or something?
45:39No.
45:40I don't really.
45:43As long as they're happy, I guess.
45:47Although they don't seem all that happy.
45:55There's a lot you don't know about.
46:09Yeah.
46:11Got you something.
46:20I'm going to train you.
46:22Just in case something happens to me, I need to know you'll look after yourself.
46:28Why do you care?
46:32We're family now.
46:35It's the most important thing.
46:39My brother, if I'm another lover.
46:48Come on, boys.
46:49School.
46:51Bring those thin bags down while you're at it.
46:56This is going to be some morning.
46:58We'll be floating to school after all that.
47:05Hey.
47:09You've got nothing to worry about with our mums.
47:12Ten years time, you'll be at a party somewhere and realise it makes you more interesting.
47:23We have numbers.
48:02Just cause I ain't never had no nothing worth having
48:05Never, ever, never, ever
48:12You ain't got no call not to think of what I'm falling
48:15To thinking I ain't too clever
48:23And it ain't not having one thing or not another
48:25Rather neither is it anything, whatever
48:33And it's not, not knowing that there ain't nothing showing
48:36In the eyes of the name of Trevor
48:41However
48:46Knocked me down with a feather
48:50Clever Trevor
48:56Why browse wonder whether clever Trevor's clever
49:05No, neither, haven't not got no right to make a clock out of Trevor
49:21No, neither, haven't been able to do anything we can't make a clock out of香港
50:01One more, Bambi.
50:02Here, have a sip.
50:16Hey, easy.
50:18Sip, don't chug.
50:20Come on.
50:21That's it.
50:32Jesus, you're dripping.
50:37Let's sort this out.
50:40We're gonna stay here.
50:42All right.
50:44Hey, it's gonna be okay.
50:47You're gonna be fine.
50:51Hey.
50:52Hey, it's gonna be all right.
50:54Don't...
50:54Hey, come on.
50:56Nile, please.
50:57No.
50:58Hey, hey, settle, settle.
51:00Settle.
51:01All right, settle.
51:02No, no, no, no, settle, settle.
51:04Just breathe.
51:05Hey.
51:06Hey.
51:07It's fine.
51:08Nile's fine.
51:09Just settle a bit.
51:10Sell.
51:12Here.
51:13Follow my breath.
51:19There's no following my breath.
51:21I can't.
51:22Follow it.
51:22I can't.
51:23Try.
51:23Yes, you can.
51:24You fucking can.
51:25Come on.
51:26Come on.
51:26Follow it.
51:49Hey.
51:50Hey.
51:56I said go with it, go with it, no no no, that's it, that's it boy, just breathe, okay, I'm
52:05here for you, just keep breathing, that's it, that's it boy, don't worry, it'll be over soon.
52:43I'm here for you.
53:12Transcription by CastingWords
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