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Only Child S02E03-4 (2026) [Full Movie] [Must See]Full EP - Full
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00:02OK, you ready?
00:04That's a load of bloody nonsense.
00:06Aye, yes, or...?
00:06I've been driving for 50 years.
00:08I learnt to drive in an ice cream van, for Christ's sake.
00:11You learnt to drive in an ice cream van?
00:13Yes, things were a wee bit more relaxed in my day.
00:16But honestly, God, why have I got to re-sit my tests anyway?
00:19You drove into a swimming pool?
00:20Once.
00:21That's not a three-strike system, Dad.
00:23Right, OK, you're tested at 2 o'clock, so we've got a few hours to go through everything.
00:26Now, first up, they're going to test your eyesight, OK?
00:29So you have to be able to read a licence plate from 20 metres away.
00:33CV-59MXT?
00:35Yeah, not your own.
00:37OK, here we go.
00:411, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20.
00:57Yeah, this is fine.
00:58Yeah, Judge.
00:59I can see it quite clearly.
01:01No, you have to come here.
01:02What are you eating?
01:03Eh?
01:04Come here.
01:05I can't hear you from there, Richard.
01:0919, 18, 17, 16, 15.
01:13Can you hear me now?
01:14Eh?
01:14Course you can't.
01:1514, 13, 12, 11.
01:18Oh, 11.
01:19Ah, ah.
01:20Great.
01:20How can I help you?
01:21The number, please?
01:2320 metres?
01:24Oh, yes, yes, you mentioned.
01:26Yeah.
01:26Yeah, I did.
01:27So follow me.
01:3012, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20.
01:38Now?
01:39Yes, now.
01:40No, it's all right.
01:41You've gone again.
01:4419, 18, 17, 16, 15.
01:49Okay.
01:50Have you been to the toilet?
01:51Yes.
01:52Number one and number two.
01:54Right.
01:54Then another number one, but I just remain seated for that one.
01:57I don't need to know that, Dad.
02:00Okay.
02:00So I think we should do this under test conditions to get you prepared.
02:04So for the next couple of hours, I won't be Richard.
02:08I'll be Benjamin.
02:10Who am I again?
02:12You?
02:12Oh, me.
02:13Right.
02:16Eh, do you mind?
02:18I'm taking time out of my busy schedule to help you.
02:22All right.
02:23Schedule.
02:24Still.
02:25Oh, it's from Beth.
02:27She's tagged me on a picture of her new sunflower plant on Facebook.
02:31Isn't that lovely?
02:33I'll just give her a wee poke.
02:35Lovely.
02:36I thought you'd given up on Facebook.
02:38I didn't.
02:39But then Beth showed me how to use it properly.
02:42And she doesn't roll her eyes when I ask questions.
02:45I post all the time now.
02:47Do you?
02:50Dad, what are these?
02:52These aren't posts.
02:54They're complaint emails you've written on your wall.
02:57Wall?
02:58What wall?
02:59Albion Bank.
03:00BT.
03:01To whomever it may concern, my landline hasn't been working for six weeks now.
03:06Hmm.
03:07Despite repeated emails.
03:08Well, you mean Facebook posts.
03:10When will you be sending someone out?
03:14Oh.
03:15I worry about my son when he is in the house alone, as he will have no way of communicating
03:20with me if he needs his dad.
03:22I mean, what the hell?
03:24You posted that on Facebook.
03:26That'll be why no bugger's replying to me, is it?
03:28I mean, what were you thinking?
03:28You just type it anywhere and somehow it'll get to them.
03:33800 likes.
03:34All laughing emojis.
03:36Emily.
03:37I'm happy to go round and let him out for a pee.
03:40Oh, amazing.
03:41Oh, she's very funny, her.
03:43Very funny.
03:44Outdoor swim done.
03:46And off to brunch with my fave.
03:48That'll be Tim.
03:49Yes, I know that.
03:52Okay.
03:52Lesson number one.
03:53Checking your phone in the car is an automatic fail.
03:57No more distractions.
03:58No more phones.
03:59Okay?
04:03Sally!
04:04Hi.
04:05Richard, how are you?
04:07I'm, er...
04:08What it is, I just heard from a little birdie that there's going to be a Detective Manners
04:12spin-off.
04:13Seriously?
04:14Now, I don't know which character it's going to focus on, but I'll find out by the end of
04:18the day.
04:18I mean, it has to be you, doesn't it?
04:20Your character was the best character as far as I'm concerned.
04:23Erm, well, thanks Sally.
04:24Yes.
04:25Which one were you again?
04:27Dr Sparrow.
04:29Spell it.
04:30S-P-A-R-R-O-W.
04:33Oh, W.
04:33Yes, that's right.
04:34Unforgettable, Richard.
04:35I'll be in touch.
04:38Well, that was interesting.
04:41Sorry, I can't say anything about it yet.
04:43Oh well, that's fine.
04:44What it is, is it probably means I'm going to get my own TV show.
04:47By the way, I tell you I bumped into Catherine Rutherford the other day and her wee granddaughter.
04:51Many times.
04:52They've apparently decided to go on their first family holiday together and they can't decide...
04:57Can't decide whether to go to Portugal or Turkey.
05:01Oh.
05:02Where did they end up choosing?
05:04What do you mean where did they end up choosing?
05:05It's your story.
05:06You know they chose Turkey.
05:07Who did?
05:09Starting from now, I'm Benjamin.
05:12And when you think it's safe to do so, turn on the engine.
05:20Is it safe?
05:22Yes.
05:23It is safe.
05:24It is perfectly safe.
05:25No, no.
05:31Check your mirrors.
05:33Check your mirrors.
05:34Check your mirrors.
05:35Check your mirrors.
05:36There you go.
05:40Oh, look.
05:41See.
05:41That's 17 degrees there.
05:43See that.
05:48That went.
05:52It's okay.
05:54Engine on
05:57Biting point
05:59And gas
06:03That's okay
06:03Engine on
06:06Biting point
06:09Gas
06:11Okay, right
06:12What you need to do
06:13I know how to start a bloody car
06:16Evidence would suggest otherwise
06:18It's you, you're making me nervous
06:20It's not me, is it?
06:21It's Benjamin
06:22I hate to tell you, but Benjamin's
06:26Turning out to be an almighty prick
06:34And we're off
06:35That's set up to 18 now
06:37Yeah, maybe think about it second
06:39Eh?
06:41Why have we stopped?
06:42What did you say?
06:44I just asked you to put the car into second gear
06:46Oh, alright
06:50We're turning right up ahead
06:53I can't drive the car
06:55And listen to you at the same time
06:56It's a driving test
06:58You need to take instructions
07:04It's down to 17 now
07:06What's this obsession with the temperature
07:09Hey
07:22Good
07:23Okay, Mr. Pritchard
07:25In a couple moments' time
07:26I'd like you to attempt a reverse parallel park
07:30Oh, look there's Tim
07:31Oh, God
07:32I'll just give him a wee beep
07:34Eh, no
07:35The horn is to alert your presence to other drivers
07:37Not to greet pedestrians
07:38I always think it's polite to beep somebody, you know
07:41What's it with you and beeping at people the minute you recognise them?
07:44Honestly, it's like when you used to drive me to school
07:46You'd beep at anyone who passed who was wearing a school uniform
07:48It was madness
07:50Every morning I'd end up waving at my entire class
07:52I look like the Queen
08:01Richard, you beeped
08:03Well, my dad did
08:04Again
08:04Hello
08:05What are you two up to then?
08:06Quick driving lesson
08:07Bit of father-son bonding, eh?
08:09Yeah, I miss that
08:10But on a day like today
08:11When the old sun parts those dark grey clouds
08:14I think, yeah
08:15That's him
08:17Shining down on me
08:18Yeah, apparently he's meant to rain later
08:21Mr. Pritch
08:21Um, do you mind if I call you Mr. Pritch?
08:23Oh, yes, yes, yes
08:25Well, my dear old mum
08:26She's coming with me to Avimor next week
08:28I'm running a 10k
08:31And, um, she just wondered if you'd mind keeping her company at the finish line
08:34Oh, lovely
08:37I've actually just finished giving her a wee poke there
08:39Um, you tell your mother
08:41I'd be absolutely delighted
08:44Okay
08:45Take care and, er, stick with the driving, Richard
08:47Yeah
08:48No
08:49No, I can drive
08:50It's him that can't drive
08:51I passed my test when I was 17
08:52Turn!
08:53Turn!
08:55Give him a wee beep
08:56Watch us drive
08:58What are you doing?
09:06Who are you waving to?
09:09That was Joan Dempster
09:10You don't need to beep every time
09:13Who even wants that?
09:14It's singing my mum and watch our face
09:16We're close friends then
09:22Come on, come on, I'm coming
09:25What are you doing?
09:27Don't mind, you're driving
09:28Aw, it'll get cold
09:34Shit!
09:37Oh my god
09:38I can't stop you
09:40Come on
09:41Is that me they're tooting?
09:49So, did I pass?
09:51Is that a serious question?
09:53You mean I failed?
09:54Multiple times
09:55Eh?
09:58Oh, what do we do now?
10:00I don't know, Dad
10:01I didn't realise things had gotten so bad
10:04Oh, how we
10:06There's one or two wee hiccups
10:09Nothing major
10:10What about when you nearly hit that lollipop lady?
10:12Well, what the hell was she doing standing in the middle of the bloody road anyway?
10:18Look, maybe she just used the bus from now on
10:21I mean, it's free
10:23Oh, it's free when it turns up
10:26Well, we're going to have to postpone your test
10:28Oh, come on
10:29For heaven's sake
10:30What's happened?
10:31Let's not be defeatist
10:32I've not been defeatist
10:33I've been realistic
10:34Realistic?
10:36Realistic, Richard?
10:38Can I tell you something, son?
10:41Ninety percent of my life is spent working round the things I'm not allowed to do anymore
10:45I'm not allowed to go hill walking
10:47I'm not allowed to eat grease
10:48If I see somebody with bright green hair and pins sticking out their face
10:53I'm not allowed to mention it
10:54If I don't get my licence back
10:56That is just one more thing in my life that's closed off to me
11:00And you know what?
11:01There comes a point when you just think to yourself
11:04What is the use?
11:07What's my use?
11:12Okay
11:14I suppose we could give it one more try
11:18Really?
11:20If
11:21You listen to me and do exactly as I say
11:24I will, Ken
11:25I will, I will
11:28Engine on
11:32Mirrors
11:34Oh, look at the earth, Ian and Jen
11:36Unbelievable
11:41Hi, Ken
11:42Dr. Sparrow
11:43Good to see you behind the wheel again, Ken
11:45I don't suppose you give us a lift to the pub
11:47We need to open and we're running a bit late
11:49Afraid not
11:50All for good if you can
11:51Yeah, yeah, thanks, lads
11:53Don't mention it
11:54So, been anywhere nice?
11:56The old marriage counselling again
11:58She can't get enough of us
11:59I asked if she did loyalty cards
12:03She didn't laugh
12:05Not even a flicker
12:07How's that all going?
12:09That's fine
12:09Grand
12:10Grand
12:14Oh, what's that, my love?
12:17Just what you said in there
12:19What did I say in there?
12:22Just about me using laughter as a way of not dealing with things
12:27I didn't say that, did I?
12:30Yes
12:30Which is fine
12:35I suppose she said it
12:37But you sort of did a nod along
12:39A nod along?
12:41Traffic's taking quite a while, isn't it?
12:42Right
12:45So did you mean to nod along?
12:48Well, I suppose if I did nod along
12:50Then, you know, maybe she might possibly have something
12:54So you agree with her?
12:56I think it might be temporary traffic lights
12:58I don't agree with her
13:00You know, you don't do it all the time
13:01It is, it's temporary traffic lights
13:03I do it some of the time, do I?
13:07Maybe, some of the time, maybe
13:10Maybe
13:11You see, that's up to 19 degrees now
13:14Is it? That's strange
13:25I think we might just walk the rest of the way, lads
13:27Are you sure?
13:28Yeah, I mean, the pub's right there, to be fair
13:32Thanks for the lift
13:33No worries
13:43Why?
13:44Come on
13:45Light's green
13:51You said you had the keys, you feckin' idiot
13:55Turn the wheel
13:56Keep turning the wheel
13:57Stop turning the wheel
13:59And checking your blind spot
14:01There is that again
14:03Good
14:04This is good
14:05Just maintain the speed
14:08Oh, and braking to a halt
14:13And brake on
14:15Great
14:16You're doing great
14:17Don't patronise me
14:19I cannot win with you
14:37Change of planning, you need to go, your turn
14:39Hey, now
14:42Now, Dad
14:44You watch your bloody marbles
14:55Okay, nice
14:56Well done
14:57Where the hell am I going?
14:58Just follow Tim for a bit
15:00Follow Tim?
15:01Yeah, that's right
15:02Following a pedestrian
15:03That's part of the test now, is it?
15:05You never know
15:05They update it all the time
15:07Okay, right
15:08Right
15:08All right
15:09All right
15:10All right
15:11There he is
15:12There he is, keep up
15:13I'm keeping up
15:14I'm keeping up
15:14Right, floor it
15:15Oh, this is
15:16Bloomin' mad that you will pass this test
15:18And what the hell has got an injury to?
15:24All right, Richie
15:25What am I like, eh?
15:27Are you okay, Dixie?
15:28Aye, I'm fine
15:31Hello, Darren
15:33Sorry about the hurt
15:34Ah, no worries
15:35Oh, and nice petunias
15:36I am, yeah
15:38Aye, I mean
15:39I mean the flowers
15:40Oh, they are, yeah
15:42I'm getting into
15:43Hort
15:44Hort
15:44Hort
15:45Hort
15:46Hort
15:46Hort
15:47Horticulture
15:47That's the one
15:48Aye
15:49Oh, that's good, son
15:50That's great, aye
15:52That'll keep you out of trouble
15:53It is, yeah
15:54Oi
15:55Keep that back
15:56Take care, yeah
15:59Get back here
16:00Oi
16:01Oh, great
16:02Now, Tim's gone
16:03Well done
16:05Well, that'll be me failed again, is it?
16:15There you go
16:16What's happening?
16:18Well, thankfully she updates her stories quite a lot
16:20So I'm sure she'll post through their meetings soon
16:25It's not a stocking
16:26I'm saying nothing
16:30Sounds a wee bit of stocking to me, though
16:32Well, that's not saying nothing, is it?
16:34Oh, come on!
16:35Why is it so important that we have to find out where they're meeting, anyway?
16:38Because I think Tim is about to propose to Emily
16:41Yeah, big galoot, ye
16:44Honestly, why didn't you tell her how you felt about her years ago?
16:47I don't know
16:49There's just always been this potential between me and her
16:53I guess I felt that as long as it stayed potential, then I couldn't mess it up like everything else
16:59But now the idea that there won't even be a chance and that I've waited too long
17:08Yes, we're in
17:09Bonny appetit
17:10Right, let's go
17:11Right, let's go
17:11Right, so what's the plan?
17:14I don't know
17:14Oh, marvellous
17:29What now?
17:31I don't know
17:32Just observe, I suppose
17:34That's your big romantic gesture, is it?
17:37Just to spy on her
17:38Just give me a minute
17:43Why is she laughing so much? That's our thing
17:45Listen, I don't mean to rush you, but my test isn't half an hour
17:49You're all right
17:52Oh, no, you don't
17:54Oh, so you're allowed to beep now, are you?
17:57Stay there
18:00Emily!
18:01Tim, I thought that was you
18:03Hello
18:04Richard
18:05Hi
18:05What are you up to?
18:07Er, just giving my dad a final driving lesson before his test
18:11Cos I can drive
18:12Right
18:12Ah, sort of
18:14I mean, don't call you three-prang-pritchard for nothing
18:16None of those were my fault
18:17Good guys
18:17Oh
18:18Thank you
18:20Looks nice
18:21Thank you
18:24I should let you eat
18:26Cos otherwise it'd be weird
18:29Well, tell Mr. Pritch good luck from us
18:31I take it you've called the swimming pool to warn them that he's back on the road, yeah?
18:35I should, shouldn't I?
18:39Oh
18:45This is nice
18:48Catching up
18:49We should do this more often, the three of us
18:51Or I could bring someone
18:52Right, bring your dad
18:53No, I meant a girl
18:55If I met a girl
18:56I would bring a girl
18:57Yeah, yeah, just let us know
19:04Was there anything else?
19:05No
19:07That's all, Fox
19:08I've never done that before in my life
19:10Oh
19:15There you are, how'd that go?
19:19No!
19:25I was meaning to ask, actually
19:27What's the food like here?
19:29Well, we don't know
19:30Because some guy keeps interrupting us before we can take a bite
19:33Oh, right, right
19:35Well, do you want to take a bite now?
19:38What do you want to watch?
19:40Oh, I am
19:41Yeah, yeah, okay, sure
19:42I'll try some
19:45Moist
19:48And how does it taste?
19:50Like eggs
19:51Oh, excellent
19:52Or should I say, egg-cellent
19:54No?
19:54No
19:55I've also been meaning to ask
19:57You know this one, Tim
19:58What is an egg?
20:00Is that a vegetable?
20:01Or what food group would you put it in?
20:04An egg is a member of the protein food group
20:07Egg is a member of the protein food group?
20:09Of course, of course
20:10Egg-cellent, I've done that one
20:12Did you fall over today?
20:14Well, I think I've
20:15I think I've got the information I came for
20:17So I shall bid you
20:20Adieu
20:20Adieu
20:22Okay
20:23Bye
20:25Shh, go back
20:26Come on, you can do it
20:28Go, go, go
20:30Go back
20:33I'm sorry, I'm sorry to do this
20:34Mister, you just keep your hands on the table where I can see them
20:38Wait
20:39Are you in on this?
20:40Is this one of your jokes that I don't get?
20:42Yeah, I just want to make it clear
20:43I have nothing to do with this
20:45Okay
20:46Well, I wanted to show you
20:47I'm getting my own TV show
20:49Oh
20:51Well, that's great, Richard
20:52But now might not be the best time
20:54Yeah, I wasn't going to say anything
20:55But you forced it out of me, Tim
20:58Did I?
20:59Yeah, it's a Doctor Spiral spin-off
21:02Okay, well, that's amazing
21:04Congrats, man
21:05Is that everything?
21:06Is that everything?
21:09Is that everything?
21:10Okay, well, while you're thinking about it
21:12What is it you wanted to show me?
21:14So
21:14No, don't
21:15What's going on, Richard?
21:16Shh, don't make any decisions now
21:18What do you mean?
21:19What does he mean?
21:20I really don't know
21:21I just wanted to show you my dad's old ring
21:23Oh
21:24Oh, did they clean it up all right?
21:26Yeah, they did a really good job, actually
21:27Oh, really?
21:28Dad's
21:31It's your
21:31It's your dad's ring
21:33I
21:35Saw my flowers in the jewellers
21:37And
21:39I thought
21:46Saved by the horn
21:48Yeah, it's just been
21:50I'm going to go now
21:59I'm not hungry anymore
22:00No
22:01Me either
22:04Thanks for getting me out of that
22:05No, I beeped you because I wanted you to go into the shop and put my lottery on
22:09No
22:09No, just drive
22:10As quick as you can
22:11Oh, hey
22:12So, how did that go?
22:13I can't feel my legs
22:14Oh, I do
22:16I'll just sort my mirrors
22:18No, forget the mirrors
22:19No, no
22:23Just take your time
22:25You're shouting
22:26I'm panicked
22:27I'm sorry
22:28Okay
22:28Nice and easy
22:30Engine on
22:31Biting point
22:33Accelerator
22:39Engine on
22:40Accelerator
22:48Accelerator
22:53Just nip in and do my lottery
22:55No
22:56No, no, no
22:57Oh, it took a minute for heaven's sakes
23:05Who put that there?
23:18All right, Richie
23:19What were you like, eh?
23:37Ken Pritchard?
23:39Don't mention it
23:44That's me
23:44If you'd like to follow me
23:46Nope
23:47Look, I'm sorry the driving lesson got about out of hand earlier
23:52You'll be fine, Dad
23:54And, just so you know
23:57You have plenty of uses
24:02Like a multi-tool
24:15Good luck
24:23Sally, hi
24:24Richard, how are you?
24:25Please tell me you've got good news
24:27Well, you know, I just might
24:28Now, tell me
24:29What was your character called again?
24:32Dr. Sparrow
24:35Hello?
24:36Not Judge Basquiat, then
24:45Oh, my God
24:54I failed
24:58So we remind ourselves to be in the here and now
25:03Not in the past
25:05We're going to end by taking a few relaxing breaths
25:11In
25:13And out
25:16In
25:17And out
25:22In
25:23And out
25:26And relax
25:29Well done
25:31Thank you
25:34Oh, good
25:35You're awake
25:36That television's still not working
25:43Wait for that engineer again
25:46Numbers on the dining room table
25:48I think you must be the only man still alive to use one of these
25:51What?
25:52I'm not calling the engineers again
25:53They've been out twice already, Dad
25:55Remember, they told us
25:56We're just in a black zone for satellites
25:58What?
25:58You're telling me that Forrest is more of a black zone than space?
26:01Well, in Forrest, no one can hear me scream
26:03Hey
26:03Or say anything
26:05What if I plugged the television into the computer?
26:08Oh, what if I connected the toaster to the boiler?
26:10Or the kettle to the washing machine?
26:12You're making a point here
26:13Yes, I am
26:13But it wouldn't work
26:14That's one
26:15So there's absolutely nothing I can do to get the television working
26:17Looking to getting cable again
26:19I do not want the cable
26:21And I will tell you for why
26:23Barbara Cooksnet number four
26:24She got the cable
26:26It went off
26:42She fell down a manhole
26:44Okay, we won't get cable then
26:45Listen, we'd better get a move on
26:47We've got to get the train to Abbeymore
26:49That race starts out due
26:50How many times, Dad?
26:51I'm not coming
26:52Why not?
26:53Well, A. I don't really want to watch Emily cheer on her boyfriend doing a run
26:56And B. You, me and trains
26:58It just always ends in disaster
26:59Like when?
27:00Like when I was filming in Paris
27:01And I paid for you and Mum to come over on the Eurostar for your 70th
27:04Your mother and I were in Brussels for my 70th
27:07Yeah, exactly
27:07Because you got the wrong Eurostar
27:08And do you remember when you got there
27:09And I asked you to stay put
27:10Because I'd come there to Brussels to meet you
27:13Where were you when I got there?
27:14I think it could have been Paris
27:15Because you got the Eurostar back to Paris
27:18Yeah, I'm glad I did my meditation
27:20I'm really feeling the benefit of that
27:21Listen, Emily is going to be there
27:24And you said you wanted to let her know how you feel
27:26Oh, Dad, that was a glaive eye talking
27:28I've missed the boat with Emily
27:30I just have to accept that and move on with my life
27:32Well, I can't go without you
27:34Why?
27:35You know full well why
27:37Oh, come on, we've been through this a thousand times
27:39Right, the train ticket is on your phone
27:42All you have to do is put the phone train ticket side down
27:45And scan it on the QR code
27:46What is a QR code?
27:47No, I'm not going through that again
27:50Listen, when I worked on the trains
27:52A train ticket was something you held in your hand
27:55A bit like that
27:55That is not a train ticket
27:58Why does everything have to happen through a bloomin' phone nowadays?
28:02I mean, what was wrong with the old ways?
28:04You wouldn't even let me carry money in my pocket anymore
28:06Dad, you were carrying £34.60 in loose change
28:09Your trousers almost fell down in Asda
28:11That is because I forgot to put a belt on
28:13Come on, it's just the way things are now
28:15Everything's digital
28:16Yes
28:17Well, I'm not
28:21Agreed
28:27Arms
28:27I mean, erm...
28:29Hi Emily
28:31And Tim
28:31And Beth
28:33And everyone
28:33Not just Emily
28:35Okay
28:35I called your dad about him sorting me out with some glue
28:44Richard, have you seen my prick stick?
28:46Er, prick stick
28:48And no, I haven't
28:49Jean used to use it for the Christmas cards, you know, to stick them down
28:52She read somewhere that licking the envelopes gives you the squirts
28:56Oh, lovely
29:00I like your t-shirt
29:01Oh
29:02Succas
29:03Yeah, it's Latin for juice
29:05Yeah
29:06It's a small energy drinks company I started a few years back
29:09They're publicly endorsing me for this run
29:11Is it definitely pronounced like that?
29:14Succas
29:14Yeah
29:15Pretty sure
29:16So you're endorsing yourself with your own company
29:19Called Succas
29:21Yeah
29:22Great
29:23Just thought I'd check
29:26Hey, how do you get on?
29:27Er, yes, good
29:29And you don't need to pee now
29:30So, mission accomplished in that sense
29:33Yeah, it's a bloody thing
29:34Sorry again, we can't fit you in the car, Ken
29:36It's just that there's not a lot of room
29:39What with the Tim's energy drinks
29:41Succas
29:42Yep
29:43Hey, that's alright though
29:45I'm more than happy to get the train
29:47It's absolutely no bother
29:48Oh, some bother
29:50Are you having problems with your television?
29:52Oh, don't remind me
29:53I'm actually thinking about getting one of those dodgy sticks
29:56Dad, how many times?
29:57They're illegal
29:57No, they're not
29:58What do you think dodgy means?
30:00They are a bit illegal, Mr Pritch
30:01Gwen Joyce has one
30:03Oh, that'll be the same Gwen Joyce who had a weed farm growing in her attic
30:06She was as surprised as anybody else to find that up there
30:09Yeah, if only she'd seen the security footage of her buying 800 LED lamps
30:16Yeah, or wondering why she always had the munchies
30:19Yeah, up high
30:22Er, yeah, sorry
30:24Exactly
30:25Here it is
30:26Oh, that's great
30:28It's for my Go Tim sign
30:30I always make one hold it up for him running past, don't I?
30:34You sure do
30:34Only now I have to stick pictures of him onto it
30:37Since the incident
30:38The incident?
30:40Well, there was this race a few years back
30:43Where another Tim was running
30:45He ran past the sign and apparently I looked quite a bit like his mum
30:49What it was, Richard
30:50He hadn't seen her in 20 years
30:53They'd had a big falling out and he thought she'd come back to bury the hatchet
30:57He was quite down when he realised
30:59But, er, it did make him decide to reach out to her
31:04Aww
31:04Aww, that's nice
31:06Yes
31:08Turns out she died five years previous and he had no idea
31:12So now, I'll stick pictures on
31:27What are you doing?
31:29You're going to miss your train
31:30No, no, I'm not going
31:31What?
31:33I told you, I don't know how you'd do the tickets
31:35Once again, technology has destroyed my time on the trains
31:39You mean when you took early retirement instead of learning how to use the card machine?
31:43I'll be fine here
31:44Just get a physical ticket at the station
31:46I don't want to anymore
31:48But Dad, all you've been talking about all week is how you were looking forward to spending time with Beth
31:52That's the reason you're going
31:53Was going
31:55I know what you're doing here
31:56I don't know what you're talking about
31:58You know fine well what I'm talking about
32:00You're thinking I'll just sit here looking sad until he gives in and comes with me
32:05Well, that's just not going to happen
32:18That's it locked
32:18What do you think?
32:22Why have you got a bag? It's only a 45 minute journey
32:25Well, that's exactly enough time to watch an episode or something
32:28Is your generation incapable of sitting with their own thoughts for any length of time?
32:33I mean, honestly, why have you always got to be attached to a device?
32:36Well, I'm not attached to a device just now, am I?
32:38Oh, one minute
32:41Sally, hi
32:42Oh Richard, hello
32:43Bad news on the Panto, I'm afraid
32:45It's a no
32:46Really? I thought it went well
32:48Yes, they thought you were just a little bit too upbeat
32:51Too upbeat for Panto?
32:53Yes, they were looking for a little more nuance in your portrayal
32:56The character was called Hoinky Doinky
32:59Yes, they said there was a little too much hoik and not enough doink for them
33:03Also, they didn't like you breaking the fourth wall
33:06It's a Panto
33:07It's all to do with the director's vision or something
33:09I wasn't really paying attention, to be honest
33:11Anyway, it's not the end of the world
33:14No
33:14Oh yes, it is
33:18Too soon, sorry
33:19Bye Sally
33:20Okay, they're still waiting to hear back on the Crimewatch reconstruction
33:33So are you going to do this ticket thing for me or not?
33:36No, I'm not
33:37Because you have to learn how to do this stuff yourself, Dad
33:41Come on, don't look so worried
33:44There's a nice girl there
33:45Can I not show her my ticket?
33:47No
33:47Why not?
33:48Because this is quicker
33:50They just seem quicker to me
33:51Dad, you can't stand in the way of progress all your life
33:53Excuse me, darling
33:54Oh, apparently you can
33:56Would you mind just opening a barrier for me and I'll just show you my ticket?
33:59It's just I'm useless with this thing
34:01I'd much rather leave the house without it
34:04You do leave the house without it
34:05Yeah, no problem
34:06Er, no, we're fine, thanks
34:07What?
34:08We don't need your help
34:09So you don't want me to open the barriers for them?
34:11That's right
34:12I really don't mind letting them through
34:13A lot of older people are-
34:14We're fine, thanks
34:17There's no need to be rude
34:18What does I mean rude?
34:19I thought you were rude
34:21Did you think he was rude?
34:22I thought it was a little bit rude, yeah
34:23Why are you still here?
34:25Oh, I'm-
34:26Okay, that was rude
34:27Sorry
34:30Come on, Dad, we can do this
34:32Just the way I showed you, right?
34:33Unlock your phone
34:352157
34:35It's probably best not to do that out loud
34:37But, er, one bath at a time
34:40Find your ticket
34:41Yeah, I can
34:43Yeah
34:43No, that's your home screen
34:44Is it?
34:46Look at that
34:47And that's the calculator
34:49Is there a calculator in there?
34:50Yeah, just give me the phone, would you?
34:52Right
34:53Okay
34:53Scanner's there
34:55QR code
34:55On the scanner
34:57Barriers open
34:58You walk through
34:58Okay?
35:02I see
35:03I see
35:04I just
35:05Just
35:09Want me to just let you through?
35:10Yes, please
35:14No
35:15Want me to keep them open for you?
35:17No
35:18No, I don't
35:19Because some people
35:20Are able to do things
35:22In the correct
35:23And proper way
35:24So you want me to close on?
35:25Yes, please
35:36That's all you needed to do
35:37Do you see how simple that was?
35:41I'll just scan it again
35:42No, I won't let you scan it twice
35:45Oh
35:46Do you want me to open the barriers for you?
35:52Yes, please
35:57Very good
35:57Very good
35:58That's how you do it
35:59Just give me that phone, won't you?
36:02I'm downloading your return ticket now
36:04And you're scanning that QR code on the way back
36:06If it kills me
36:07Yes, yes
36:08Whatever you say
36:09Where exactly are we going here?
36:10I've got to see
36:13What's it now?
36:14Well, I'm actually bursting for the toilet
36:17Why?
36:17There's a toilet on the train
36:18The train toilet must not be used
36:20Whilst the train is stationary
36:22That's the first thing you learn
36:23When you become a conductor
36:24Well, you'll just need to hold on to it then
36:26Oh, you'd love that, wouldn't you?
36:27Which bit of that would I love?
36:29And could you not have mentioned this
36:30Before we got through the barrier?
36:31Well, I didn't need to go
36:33Before I come through the barrier
36:34Right, can you be done and back
36:36In six minutes?
36:37Yes
36:38Oh
36:39Maybe your new pal could let you out
36:41Right, we're in
36:42Coach C
36:43Seat 41
36:44Coach C
36:45Seat 41
36:46Yes, yes
36:52Ticket barriers are in operation at this station
37:01Excuse me, sorry
37:02I've actually got that seat booked
37:19Thank you
37:20Thank you
37:31Oh my
37:32Fuck
37:34What's he doing?
37:39No
37:40Oh
37:43Sorry, can I
37:44Actually, I need to
37:45Yeah
37:50Excuse me, excuse me, excuse me
38:02Oh, you're watching something already
38:05The train's not even moving
38:07There you go
38:09Ham and cheese
38:12Bottle of water
38:13Don't worry
38:14It's sparkling
38:15Lovely packet of cheese and onion crisps
38:19And a twirl
38:21We're sharing that, mind
38:23One finger each
38:26Welcome aboard
38:27This Scotch real service to Wick
38:28Wick
38:30Are we on the right train?
38:32Dingwall
38:33All Ness
38:34Invergordon
38:35And
38:35Who the hell are you?
38:49Customers are reminded that all paid tickets are not valid on this service
38:54What the hell, what is he?
38:59Is he pointing me up?
39:01Dart!
39:01Dart!
39:02Dart!
39:04Dart!
39:13Dart!
39:17Dart!
39:20Dart!
39:22Dart!
39:22Ah, excuse me
39:23That's, uh
39:24I'm sitting in there
39:25Thank you very much
39:27Have a bit
39:28Ah
39:28Oh, that was close.
39:33Disaster averted.
40:15Hello there, excuse me, I was just wondering, there's a lot of runners going about the place,
40:21you know, giving it up.
40:23I don't suppose you've seen any men in Lycra about the place, running about tight.
41:01Oh, nice, isn't it?
41:03Oh, yeah, yeah, it's different.
41:08Oh, good luck, there he is now, go team, team!
41:14Come on, my son!
41:16Oh, I did it.
41:21Hi, run!
41:23Oh, Richard.
41:25Oh, you made it then.
41:26Where's Ken?
41:27He's not here.
41:27I know.
41:29I meant he's not showing up here.
41:30What, have you lost him?
41:31I didn't lose him, he lost himself.
41:33You mean he's missing?
41:35It's okay, Mum.
41:36We'll have a circus, and then we'll talk this through.
41:39Yeah, yeah, we got split up on the train, I ended up in Beaulieu, I've got his phone.
41:42Look, it's a long story.
41:43Right, well, surely he'd just make his way back to Forest.
41:45He wouldn't be able to buy a ticket.
41:47Why?
41:48Some guy made him stop carrying cash.
41:50Richard.
41:51It's okay.
41:52I know the event organisers.
41:54They'll keep an eye out for him.
41:55They've got people stationed all around the circuit.
41:57Hey, hi, yeah, it's me.
42:00I just...
42:0139 minutes, 26 seconds.
42:03Yeah, no, I think it is a new personal best.
42:06Sorry, yeah, listen, I need you to just do something for me.
42:10Uh, Beth, why don't you and Tim take the town?
42:13You know, streets, tea shops, that sort of thing.
42:16Pikes, scones, what have you.
42:17Uh-huh, yeah.
42:18Me and Richard will take the words.
42:19Look, chances are he's probably got lost trying to find the finish line.
42:22Yeah, no, I'm sure you're right.
42:24Yeah, well, pasta for breakfast is controversial these days,
42:26but to be honest with you, I think he gave me the edge.
42:29Tim.
42:30Your grey hair.
42:32Yeah, glasses.
42:34Yeah, just, um, shoes.
42:35He's wearing shoes.
42:43Jean?
42:43Jean?
42:47No, no, no.
42:49It couldn't be.
42:51Sorry to bother you.
42:54It's just I thought...
42:57But it couldn't be.
43:07Mr. Bridge!
43:10Mr. Bridge!
43:11Mr. Bridge!
43:15Mr. Bridge!
43:16Mr. Bridge!
43:16Ah!
43:17Ow!
43:18My ankle!
43:20Oh, God.
43:21Right, hold on.
43:22Don't touch it.
43:23What did I just say?
43:24Sorry.
43:26Oh.
43:27Let's get this off.
43:28Ah!
43:29Ah!
43:30Ah!
43:31Ah!
43:32All the others were in the wash.
43:34Well, that is just lovely.
43:39Okay.
43:40Does it hurt if I do this?
43:41Ah!
43:42What about this?
43:43Ah!
43:44Oh, that's interesting.
43:45Is it broken?
43:46No, but I realised I can do this.
43:48Ah!
43:49Ah!
43:49Ah!
43:50Ah!
43:51Staying alive!
43:52Staying alive!
43:53You're supposed to be a nurse!
43:56Trust me, that is vanilla compared to what we usually get up to.
43:59It's fine.
44:00You've just twisted it.
44:01But what do I do now?
44:03Have you made a will?
44:04Oh, hilarious.
44:06Nothing.
44:07Just give it a few minutes.
44:16It'd be funny if we ended up having to eat each other.
44:24I always forget that sometimes silence is fine.
44:29Yeah.
44:30Yeah.
44:44Ahh!
44:47That's a little bee-man!
44:49Ahh!
44:55Ahh!
44:59No, I need to stop.
45:01Again.
45:02It really hurts Emily.
45:05Right, if zombies ever attack, remind me never to make a run for it with you.
45:10Watch out!
45:17I'm sure Tim's got an ankle support with him.
45:20I don't need Tim's ankle support.
45:24Tim's ankle support.
45:26It's quite a good name for a band actually.
45:29Hi, we're Tim's ankle support.
45:31This is a song about the first time that you properly fall in love.
45:35Are you in love with him?
45:36What?
45:36Sorry, what did you say?
45:37Nothing, nothing.
45:38No, me too.
45:42Do you not like Tim?
45:45What, me? Not like Tim?
45:47Too timid.
45:48I mean, I don't know.
45:50What does it even mean to like someone in the current climate?
45:53Okay, you don't like him.
45:54I'm not a fan, but I don't know.
45:57He just doesn't seem like your type.
46:01What is my type?
46:02Guys from forests mainly.
46:04Yeah.
46:05Imagine wanting a change from that.
46:10I know he seems a bit much sometimes, but he's sweet.
46:16He's comfortable in himself.
46:18He's a go-getter.
46:20Things seem possible around him, you know?
46:23He's actually thinking of moving to New Zealand for a year.
46:26Is he?
46:27Really?
46:29Yeah, I've heard it's beautiful.
46:32He's asked me to go with him.
46:33But the weather's meant to be terrible, and I've heard it's prohibitively expensive.
46:38This wellness retreat reached out to him on Instagram.
46:41They want him to do a mind, body and soul workshop.
46:43Whatever that is.
46:45And I could get a nursing job easily enough.
46:48Well, you've looked into it.
46:50Well, a little bit.
46:51I mean, it's New Zealand.
46:53Sure.
46:53And you've probably completed for us anyway, Ben.
46:58I haven't made my mind up yet.
47:00Cool.
47:05Sorry for bringing up zombies earlier.
47:07You know how scared you are of them.
47:09What?
47:11Any horror film, really.
47:13Every time we'd rent one, you'd watch it with your eyes closed.
47:15Yeah, but that's because it's the score that makes it scary.
47:18So it's actually braver just to listen.
47:21And you'd always fall for the jump scares.
47:23Well, they shouldn't just come out of nowhere like that.
47:25Oh, so you are scared of them?
47:26No.
47:27No?
47:27No.
47:28Alright.
47:29Sorry for bringing it up.
47:35Maybe we should look down by those...
47:36Jesus!
47:39So immature.
47:45Oh, bollocks.
47:49So there you are!
47:51Ah, it's Uncle.
47:53Where the hell have you been?
47:55Where the hell have I been?
47:57Coach C, Sheep 41, where the hell were you?
48:00I'm sorry, who's this?
48:02Oh, hey, I ended up joining a search party for this fella, and I found him.
48:07Matches his description perfectly.
48:10He joined your own search party, of course you did.
48:11Hey!
48:12Ken!
48:13Oh, you silly man!
48:19You had me so worried.
48:21Don't do that again.
48:23Hey, you should replenish your fluids.
48:25Take a sip of my circus.
48:27Eh?
48:27Have you guys been here long?
48:29No, we just got here.
48:30So you didn't see anything?
48:31What?
48:32Nothing.
48:34Can you take me back to my family now?
48:36Yes, I'll take you back to your family now.
48:39You've been banging on over there for some time now.
48:53What a day.
48:55Where did your laptop end up?
48:58Glasgow.
48:59Who?
49:00I had my whole life on that laptop.
49:03Oh, look at that!
49:05I was going to watch The Untouchables tonight.
49:08He puts one of yours in the morgue, you put one of his in the hospital.
49:13That's the other way about it.
49:14What?
49:15He puts one of yours in the hospital, you put one of his in the morgue.
49:18That's the Chicago way.
49:20Who are you doing?
49:21Honestly, I give it.
49:23Right, Dad, I'm knackered.
49:25Going to bed.
49:26Night-night.
49:27Okay.
49:28Goodnight, son.
49:31Yeah.
49:39You can stream it.
49:41I will.
49:42Watch it online.
49:43Don't need the satellite for that.
49:46There you go.
49:48Marvellous.
49:48I'll start in a minute.
49:50Ho-ho!
49:53Oh, thanks, son!
49:54Oh!
49:57Oh!
50:01Oh!
50:02Oh!
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