Skip to playerSkip to main content
NatureVids
  • 15 minutes ago
Two Way Stretch
Transcript
00:00:07ΒΆΒΆ
00:00:42ΒΆΒΆ
00:01:11ΒΆΒΆ
00:01:34ΒΆΒΆ
00:01:35ΒΆΒΆ
00:01:36ΒΆΒΆ
00:01:37ΒΆΒΆ
00:01:39ΒΆΒΆ
00:01:47ΒΆΒΆ
00:01:56ΒΆΒΆ
00:01:57ΒΆΒΆ
00:01:57ΒΆΒΆ
00:01:57ΒΆΒΆ
00:01:58ΒΆΒΆ
00:02:01ΒΆΒΆ
00:02:14Oh, my God.
00:02:39Seven o'clock? Oh, Harry's marvellous, and he's always bang on time, winter or summer.
00:02:43Look at that, they've sent ordinary milk again. They know we always have gold top.
00:02:47Yeah, well, never mind me.
00:02:49Here we are, then. Milk. Butter. Eggs.
00:02:56All right, all right. French bread.
00:03:04Dodger? Dodger?
00:03:07Huh?
00:03:08Pipers, Dodger?
00:03:10Oh, tar, tar.
00:03:11Ah.
00:03:22Closer, winter, mate. That's a bit of a George Ralph coming in.
00:03:25Oh, I'm sorry, Dodger.
00:03:26One or two eggs, Dodger?
00:03:28Uh, no, thank you, Jimmy. I feel a bit umpty after that trifle you knocked out last night.
00:03:35Yeah, I'll try to go easy on the Chevy.
00:03:37oh I'm sorry Dodger mate didn't look all that rich to me hello I see the bottom's dropped
00:03:43right out of Colonial Cocoa when you knock off any money lads never put it on the stock exchange
00:03:49I'll tell you that for nothing don't you worry I won't you know you do look a bit
00:03:54suited this morning Dutch hmm yeah what about a nice drop of brandy or your tea that's a very
00:04:00sound idea that's a very sound idea all right down the log in our first request comes from
00:04:09mrs. price of Cobblers Road London e2 yeah that's my mum yeah would you believe it morning mrs. price
00:04:15hope you're listening mrs. price wants me to play a record for her son Lenny his family and all his
00:04:22other friends they're all working hard in a hush-hush government establishment somewhere in
00:04:27the country so for Lenny and his friends here is his mother's choice don't fence me in oh no
00:04:33right don't fence me in very subtle sense of humor here does that's my mum's request oh now so can
00:04:45we have it on again do you mind mate I've got a terrible head oh please Dodger no don't argue
00:04:50Lenny
00:04:52who is it it's only me I'll come in sheep it ain't locked good morning good morning I'm sorry to
00:05:00bother you lads while you're having your breakfast that's all right gee fancy a cuppa oh thanks very
00:05:05much and not robbing you am I no mate what's ours is yours you know that mmm that's good you
00:05:15know I
00:05:16always say this is the only place in the old prison where you get a really decent cup of tea
00:05:19well you've
00:05:20got a real three-star one there ain't he Lenny yeah well I just wondered if you'd mind popping down
00:05:30to
00:05:30the rock quarry oh a little later do what don't get excited the governor wants a few nice knobbly bits
00:05:44of
00:05:44stone for his rockery that's all you had me worried for a minute oh I must be off yeah chief
00:05:52do you mind
00:05:53putting strange ways out on your way down oh not at all oh by the way you better get a
00:06:04move on
00:06:06rehabilitation classes are starting bang on time today the old man's got another of his parties
00:06:10coming around that's nice in it who is it this time oh ladies league of prison reform or something
00:06:18come on puss you come on mate here you are isn't it marvellous we can't wait to get out and
00:06:24the
00:06:24buckteeth and bloomers brigade can't wait to get in yes that's all right I'm so glad you've let me
00:06:36bring the members of my committee to look over your prison commander Bennett it's a pleasure ma'am
00:06:39from what we hear if only some of the other prison governors were as far seeing and progressive as
00:06:45you are our work would hardly be necessary what kind of you to say so ma'am when society overcrowds
00:06:52these lads three in a cell that's not the end of it you know I'm sure of that can't leave
00:06:56them to
00:06:56rot teach them a trade something honest they can turn their hands to when they get out but isn't there
00:07:02a shortage of instructors never felt the need of them I get my instructors from the prisoners
00:07:06themselves oh really oh yes yes we've got all trades here you know you'll be amazed how keen they
00:07:12are to help each other and you find that works judge for yourselves ladies you'll see in a minute
00:07:18come in rehabilitation class is ready for inspection sir ah thank you Lane this is Lane one of my
00:07:27trustees good morning ladies there's not much goes on in here that you're not interested in is there
00:07:34oh we take things as we find them you know sir well now ladies shall we see the gardeners first
00:07:40yes thank you thank you thank you very much thank you I've got the uh leader's reports for you sir
00:07:50oh just put them on my desk a little yes yes
00:08:06ah come on me little darling
00:08:08ah sir it's me point then it's me point
00:08:13ah come on me little darling
00:08:15ah come on
00:08:21stand by your plants
00:08:25very popular these gardening activities we're hoping for great things at the county show
00:08:31now I'd like to show you something of mine
00:08:34oh there's a prize winner if ever I saw one
00:08:40oh I've never seen one so big
00:08:42yes I brought this on myself oh you must be very proud oh indeed I am ma'am
00:08:48now then um
00:08:50lovely blooms
00:08:51oh
00:08:53ah yes Lane has the seed sent in specially from abroad
00:08:56what a lovely smell what are they these are nicotina snoutless virginia's lady what are flowers
00:09:03smells very much like tobacco to me they whiff at nights I think lovely they do mind you lady we've
00:09:09got so many niffs around this joint you never know what you're smelling
00:09:11ha ha ha ha yeah uh come and have a niff at the governor's betty up richard over here
00:09:18that's his second pride of joy that way oh lovely and reared as they say in the navy
00:09:23lovely isn't it all right there's now you've got it so far right now I'll explain to you the details
00:09:28stand by the governor's rounds
00:09:30come on get a fork on it fellas
00:09:40carry on for what you're doing now
00:09:41thank you
00:09:42here we are
00:09:43isn't it fascinating
00:09:45they're sweet
00:09:47come over here
00:09:48most interesting
00:09:49oh
00:09:52I'm so glad you're having cultural subjects as well as mere vocational training commander
00:09:58oh yes yes indeed madame man cannot live by bread alone though we have our own bakery of course
00:10:03yeah
00:10:03husband
00:10:04no an appreciation of the arts forms a very important part of the mayor
00:10:09and crafts too take pottery for example now you just come this way
00:10:14yes sir
00:10:16pottery yes
00:10:17well really the governor's going too far
00:10:19certainly
00:10:24harold harold harold what have i possessed you three buttonholes in a two button suit
00:10:27oh never mind i'll cut out and have a coat
00:10:32this is the tailoring department
00:10:33is it
00:10:34so madam if i may be permitted to liberty
00:10:36do you like the ensemble sir
00:10:38oh it's very uh nice
00:10:39it's my going home suit
00:10:40oh yes i'd forgotten you and your friends
00:10:42and you are pretty soon now eh
00:10:44i wonder sir if i might be permitted to point out the salient features
00:10:48you'll notice here the hand basting on the lapel of course madam it's not generally known
00:10:52but in the majority of the mass-produced suits the basting is all done with soap
00:10:56which means if you're caught in the rain you come out in the lava
00:11:02open up lily the jacket the jacket oh touch of the terry thomas sir you notice how it catches the
00:11:09light oh i wonder if i might detain you for one second sir now you see i am working under
00:11:13the most derogatory conditions oh yes i did ask you see it's very skilled
00:11:17and oxy and salatine welder which is all very well for the british motor corporation by sloquid for
00:11:22several roads oh oh as you can see we have a very enthusiastic woodwork section too
00:11:30oh cabinet making as well yes ma'am yes of course
00:11:36well miss pringle that'll give you some idea how we go about things
00:11:40yes sir i'm sure my colleagues would like to join me in congratulating you on your sterling work
00:11:46commander oh thank you ladies one likes to think that one seed has not fallen upon stony ground
00:11:53oh i'm sure it never does that commander judging by your enormous vegetable narrow
00:11:59well this way ladies thank you lay that'll be all
00:12:11all right lads
00:12:20now there lads as i was about to say my own personal preference is the hinge method takes a little
00:12:27longer but the results infallible now then you drill three lovely little holes by your edge
00:12:35get your jelly bung it in insert your detonators yes i thrust your pardon the intrusion but did you
00:12:43say this method was infallible infallible then might i inquire as to what you're doing in here
00:12:49how would you like a punch up the throat
00:12:55ladies gone sir yes jenkins well your visitors just arrived i showed him into the office
00:12:59oh my goodness i didn't realize the time thank you oh jenkins
00:13:03send lane into us will you very good sir oh sorry to keep you waiting for
00:13:08oh not at all admiring your flora oh good how do you do mr fowler isn't it yes let me
00:13:14take these
00:13:14huh thank you thank you sir down won't you how kind of you thank you very much
00:13:18a cigarette not for me thank you one of the temptations i'm able to resist i'm bad to say
00:13:24extraordinary thing i seem to be getting to 50 a day oh yeah you don't mind if i do do
00:13:28of course
00:13:28well thank you now then you say in your letter that we have some of your former parishioners in
00:13:34our care lane and his friends i'm afraid so three from one parish not a happy situation for one in
00:13:41my
00:13:41walk of life ah but they're good lads at heart you know been cooperating splendidly oh i'm glad to hear
00:13:47that anyhow mind you the background they come from governor i couldn't begin to describe it well
00:13:52please don't try well i won't do but mind you there's no excuse oh no certainly not crime is
00:13:59crime no you misunderstand me no excuse for you and me governor we've a duty to these unfortunate
00:14:04people it's up to us to extend a helping hand padre you're only echoing my own thoughts i'd hope
00:14:09from my heart that that would be the case well look i've sent filet and that you'll like a few
00:14:14minutes
00:14:14one i'd be glad of it most kind of you governor come in ah lane come along lane you know
00:14:28your vicar
00:14:31yeah i know him sir yeah well don't be shy mr fowler's here to help you come on
00:14:37here merely to proper friendship and good counsel how are you my son i'm not complaining vicar now i
00:14:46want you to listen very carefully to mr fowler's advice i can quite safely leave him with you
00:14:51partner indeed now come along and sit down make the souls at home oh that is you have my chair
00:14:56thank
00:14:56you governor sit there now i'll come back in a few minutes and see how you're getting all right many
00:15:10thanks you smarmy you rat-faced conniving bleating whited sepulcher come come come so we stephens
00:15:17up to your old reverend luck again i see i'm a good miner built you all the way from here
00:15:21to
00:15:21wandsworth mainly please please don't let's discuss this matter in an ill-bred fashion ill-bred fashion
00:15:27you dropped me and the boys right in the pony you talk about ill-bred keep your thieving hands off
00:15:31that will you they're much listen to me we listened to you the last time making got stuck
00:15:36in here for three years while you've been outside living the life of riley father riley please now
00:15:40listen to me dodger i'm on to a racing certainty like the last time when you had the only alibi
00:15:46no
00:15:46this is different can you three boys get out of here for the night and back again without anybody
00:15:51knowing i think you're going a bit soft in your old age mate what do you think we are the
00:15:55three
00:15:55denis then you'd have the perfect alibi wouldn't you don't you see
00:16:04what you've got cooking away in that disease-ridden bunch of yours
00:16:08something quite sensational my boy
00:16:15you crafty old fox well i don't know might be able to work out something i thought you'd be
00:16:22interested wait a minute wait a minute i'd have to know a lot more about it first certainly
00:16:27of course you will of course you will i'll give you the drill oh so they give you the drill
00:16:34do
00:16:34they lay very healthy good for the lungs oh governor you do look after them well well we do our
00:16:40best
00:16:40battery how's it going i think we've made a good start wouldn't you say good i imagine your bicker's
00:16:46giving you something to think about a lane he certainly has definitely good you know i'm quite sure
00:16:51when you get out of here he'll help you to find a good worthwhile job i've just been trying to
00:16:56make
00:16:56that very point oh by the way i would like to make another visit soon if i may directly i
00:17:01see how the
00:17:01land lies with regard to their employment for want of a better world yes certainly certainly well i'll
00:17:06say goodbye now thank you lay and get the pottery's hat will you see the gate and my umbrella if
00:17:11you'll be
00:17:11so kind was you wearing gloves vicar not this time goodbye where's this lot off to governor wants
00:17:29some stones for his rockery oh well don't ever do it will you uh no here here look over there
00:17:36we dodged
00:17:36where over there here what's he doing here hey sir oh well what a nice surprise to see our vicar
00:17:47what's he doing auntie oh yes uh yeah how are you getting on you very well thank you very much
00:17:53sir your mother sends her love to you price and night you're looking very bonnie how do you do i've
00:17:59had a long talk to lane here about your future prospects i'll leave it to him to give you the
00:18:04good
00:18:05new well i must get along mustn't uh mustn't interfere with the process of the law must we goodbye
00:18:10gentlemen what's that all about tell elida
00:18:17i'll remember you all tonight boys in my prayers we'll be lucky if he remembers us after the second
00:18:24point
00:18:28yeah well i don't go much on it we had a basin full of soapy before
00:18:32yeah my mom says three years of her life is enough to give any man and that's what we done
00:18:35for
00:18:35soapy anyway we're not committed we'll be out of here in a few weeks bit of information might be useful
00:18:40well all i hope is that it's reliable information because the last time he dropped us right at it
00:18:45well i'll tell you something else too
00:18:56good afternoon ah this is the size and shape i'm after that'd be enough sir will it we're finding
00:19:02this town a bit difficult to work governor it's got all sort of uh buried in and there really yeah
00:19:08oh well this will do to go on all right that's it lads
00:19:11had a visiting hour anyway your mother's here price oh lovely someone to see you too late
00:19:17huh you don't seem very enthusiastic people come all this way to visit you and you simply don't seem
00:19:22to care extraordinary oh give over i saw titty fighting keep someone knows you've been looking at
00:19:32yourself all the way down well i don't want to lose my allure never mind about your allure that won't
00:19:38get you nowhere be firm that's what you've got to remember with a man like dodger i have no physical
00:19:44contact with the prisoners no passing of written messages cigarettes or any other form of contraband
00:19:49right all right what's the matter with you haven't you ever seen a home perm kit before yes i have
00:20:02and you can leave it there you're welcome this way
00:20:18now don't forget what i told you don't make yourself felt but he said no physical contact
00:20:24ah don't be serious be firm i will
00:20:33hello dodgy hello eh looking forward to coming out no i decided i'd like to stay up the rest of
00:20:39my
00:20:39life well i thought you didn't like it here now look i'm going to come straight to the point
00:20:46i want the bands put up this sunday without fail so we can get tied up directly you come out
00:20:51blimey here we go again well the whole street's talking about it i mean to say five years now you've
00:20:57been caught in me and what have i got to show for it nothing well you've been dead lucky haven't
00:21:01you
00:21:02anyway i'll give you a smashing engagement ring yes and i can only wear that in the house with the
00:21:06blinds drawn it's not good enough whose fault was it we didn't get married after that mail van job
00:21:10not mine i'm sure no no well may i remind you that had you got to the church at the
00:21:15time specified
00:21:16you'd have arrived here before the police did thereby avoiding a nasty frac ass with the law language please
00:21:22well well i can't understand you at all me and your daddy's always trying to bring you upright but i
00:21:29don't know the family on it don't seem to mean nothing to anyone that think you like doing time
00:21:35three years you've been in here now and never once have you even tried to escape and don't leave your
00:21:41head
00:21:41against them wires you mark yourself for love but mum will be out anyway soon anyway soon that's not
00:21:47quite the point look at your daddy's record four times over the wall at the moor alone and auntie emmy's
00:21:56bad leg never prevented her from shinning down the drain carpet although i did it well i'll try and do
00:22:02better next time mum honest i will yes and so you better i should think so so very bruise he
00:22:07hasn't
00:22:11how old is he now my love eight months dearest oh
00:22:18but i've been in here nearly two years oh yes fred but you sent me some lovely letters
00:22:25well if that's the way you want it that's the way i want it
00:22:32well time's up ducky all set i suppose so
00:22:38well um goodbye dodger dear goodbye i thought dear
00:22:51whoops there it goes again it keeps happening it's so embarrassing excuse me
00:23:16oh
00:23:22turn the radio down a bit
00:23:28would you like a nightcap chief oh that's very kind of you well boys it looks as if we all
00:23:34be
00:23:34leaving here together oh yeah how's that well as you know i was due to retire last year but they
00:23:39asked me to stay on for a bit oh thanks jelly oh seems they've got someone to replace me now
00:23:44what are you gonna do with yourself mr jenkins well me and the miss is a little tobacco shop
00:23:48apparently on sea is it a locker no we'll be living over it why nothing i just wondered
00:23:57well good luck to you chief oh yeah thank you boys yeah me and my earth will all be settling
00:24:04down one
00:24:04of these days i suppose oh yes you got a job lined up then i'm in concrete we've got a
00:24:10few kind friends
00:24:10outside who are trying to get things organized for us that's the idea you know what they say
00:24:15don't you heaven helps those who are prepared to help themselves just what our vicar was saying
00:24:20wasn't it yeah boy yeah yeah
00:24:26only me hello podry visiting your boys regular now aren't you oh yes of course anytime now you know
00:24:32they'll be exposed to the old temptations run along and tell lane i'd like to have a word with him
00:24:38would you there's a good fellow i'll make my way to the governor's office
00:24:43good morning boys
00:24:50good that'll bring her color up nicely
00:24:53new duty roster sir oh right i'll look it over in my office
00:24:56well what do you think jackson coming along nicely sir
00:25:05three minutes oh hello governor good morning how are you
00:25:12very well thank you how are you i didn't realize you were coming perhaps i'm a bit early am i
00:25:17oh no
00:25:17that's quite all right you'll do sit down thank you very much i'm sorry i thought you said you didn't
00:25:22smoke
00:25:22oh did i oh did i i was doing lent ah i see
00:25:28well uh yes i'll um i'll leave you to it
00:25:35no i'll uh i'll attend to my letters later
00:25:42uh anything you want just uh help yourself i'll i'll be with my marrow
00:25:49hmm he's a right burke isn't he now then anything else you want to know
00:25:56yeah i want to know if it's going to work
00:25:59you know me oh i'll know you all right which brings me to the all-important question
00:26:06how much is it worth oh i thought you might ask that one doesn't want to sell one's birthright
00:26:12for a mess of cottage does one oh it all depends how big the mess is
00:26:16well naturally estimates vary in these matters a fraction one or the other but in round figures
00:26:21give or take a shilling here or there i want the costa a couple a million liquor
00:26:31how much you heard two million quid one million quid that's right yeah that's right yeah but how
00:26:42could it be worth a million don't you fellas ever read nothing in the newspapers bar in the back page
00:26:47i'm referring to his highness the sultan of kuchpawani yeah well you got the bloke next
00:26:51to picket lines for where did you read that on the back page the important thing is that every
00:26:56now and again they bung this geezer on the scales and they weigh him well you mean like they do
00:26:59with
00:27:00the aga khan that's right and if you fellas had read the papers you'd have noticed that it was this
00:27:05fella's diamond jubilee next month oh then all these diamonds in this van belongs to this fella
00:27:09right right now here's what they do they shove this sultan on one end of the scales they shove all
00:27:15these lovely old diamonds up the other end then they all get together and they start having their
00:27:19way up how did the diamonds get in england then safe keeping you see this sultan's one of the only
00:27:25mates of british government i got left out here and he can't trust all these other nicknogs so he
00:27:29shoves his gear over here for safe keeping until he wants it yeah but we just can't go and knock
00:27:33off
00:27:33a lot of diamonds just like that dodger do you mind now providing we're out of your shop
00:27:39by 11 on the 28th we're laughing leave off we don't get out for the 29th and so on the
00:27:4428th
00:27:44we're all safely locked up in here few herbs want a better alibi than that i don't know
00:27:49yeah that's the best in it hey yeah right yeah right then here's a drill down in the army are
00:27:55escorting the van he's got all his diamonds in from london to portsmouth and portsmouth as a
00:27:59destroyer takes them all out east between london and portsmouth we nick them who's escorting the
00:28:07van the army well if you think i'm gonna have a punch up with the army you can count me
00:28:12out by one
00:28:13you and a half a burk there's only a few of the army and we ain't fighting them yeah this
00:28:18is
00:28:18marvelous isn't it hey jelly yeah yeah dodge when did you think of all this hey i don't know when
00:28:25you're both keeping away there i know what you're thinking and planning and of course we'll have to
00:28:31cut old soapy in hey yeah i mean he's handling the outside stuff until the night oh no not soapy
00:28:38no
00:28:38that git what's he ever done for us laying us in here and why was that because last time so
00:28:43it was
00:28:43the only one who had an alibi yeah this time we've all got the alibi and soapy's right in it
00:28:47how do you
00:28:48mean well i mean standing out of mind isn't it i mean if anyone's gonna get lagged by this job
00:28:52it's
00:28:52about to be our vicar let him pray his way out of that one very good hey here just a
00:28:59minute look
00:28:59there's another thing how do we get out of here you know when old jenkins comes around for his night
00:29:04can you slip him a cup of the all three star cocoa he goes out like a light and we
00:29:08use him under the
00:29:08bit of cool night he'll wait a minute though look jenkins won't be here on the 28th that's all right
00:29:14we'll straighten out whoever they send down that'll be some real ripe old charlie come on you snivelly
00:29:21lola there belts don't weave it with their pigs you're not sunbathing on the french rivera now you know
00:29:51what's up with you then short house
00:29:57please sir i broke me emma leaning on i suppose no no silence when you're talking to me
00:30:04now listen you go along to the end of the line there you'll find a nice gentleman who'll give you
00:30:08a new one come here pick that up
00:30:20ask him to give you another one i'll need bigger go on at the double
00:30:27hop hop hop hop hop hop hop hop hop hop hop hop hop hop hop hop hop hop hop the
00:30:33governor wants to see
00:30:33right he's over there right all right you lot keep at it
00:30:45you wanted to see me sir good morning crowd i have to tell you that your application for the post
00:30:50of
00:30:50chief officer at huntley has been successful congratulations thank you very much sir i'm sure
00:30:56you'll carry on at huntley the good work you've done here oh yes sir i'll see to that sir thank
00:31:02you very
00:31:13mr barter
00:31:15yeah cheap something to get your mouth round out the coffee oh it's a nice cigar there
00:31:32that's right mr jenkins
00:31:45i'm sorry about that mr jenkins sheer force of habit i suppose you see my mom's
00:31:52uh well uh don't let it upset you lenny we all know your mom
00:31:57well let's pass the cake around enjoy uh sit down uh i'd just like to say on behalf of the
00:32:05lads and
00:32:06myself that we wish you a long and happy retirement and uh as a token of our esteem lenny um
00:32:15as a token of our esteem we would like to present you with this little memento all we're sorry about
00:32:21is you're coming out before us ain't that right lads oh yeah sure you won't stay till the end of
00:32:26the
00:32:26month please mr jenkins hey yeah stay on chief i'm afraid i can't boys i don't want to say it
00:32:35it's things like this that make me real sorry i believe it and believe me this will always be one
00:32:41of my most treasured possessions well i'm afraid i gotta go you know i got one or two things to
00:32:48do
00:32:48before i go whether you understand goodbye dodger cheerio chewie jelly goodbye chief i'm gonna miss
00:32:55you mr jenkins so he's strange ways here i don't know who's gonna take him for a walk when you've
00:33:00gone
00:33:00here would you mind you know on your way down oh yeah yes of course now don't forget your cake
00:33:04oh thank you thank you and your body oh thank you boys thank you thank you you're welcome bye chief
00:33:13good luck bye bye bye nice old fellow isn't he
00:33:30good luck
00:33:30come in
00:33:34hi jenkins don't happen to seen a gold watch by any chance of you
00:33:42gold watch sir yes gold hunter and chain i seem to have lost it i'm sure it was here yesterday
00:33:51this one sir yes that's it where did you find it one of the uh prisoners found it sir lying
00:34:01about
00:34:01somewhere he gave it to me a few minutes ago did he really well there you are there's some good
00:34:09in
00:34:09all of them that's what i'm always saying he could just as easily have hung on to it sit down
00:34:14chief
00:34:15yes you know little things like this that must make you quite sorry that you're retiring from
00:34:21the service city chief oh well it comes from all of us at the end now it appears your replacement
00:34:27arrives tomorrow a fellow called kraut from rockhampton kraut sir yes you know him oh yes i know
00:34:37him and told the lads i wish them all the very best of luck
00:34:45boy george shot you see he loves the trouble with him people hey george be a mate will you see
00:34:51who it
00:34:51is i'm just brewing up the tea
00:34:55hang on hang on
00:34:56hang on
00:34:57hang on
00:35:06you weren't a bit of an hour again
00:35:09blimey sauerkraut
00:35:18what do you do with these keys laden
00:35:20I'm a trustee.
00:35:23Trustee? I wouldn't trust you with your own grandma.
00:35:25Where's the officer?
00:35:28You! Come here!
00:35:31Ah, you must be the new chief. Anything wrong?
00:35:33Anything wrong? What's this prisoner doing with the keys to the main gate?
00:35:36Oh, that's all right. Mr. Lane's a trustee. I gave them to him.
00:35:40Mr... Mr. Lane?
00:35:43Ah, you, take those. Stay by that gate office until I tell you to leave.
00:35:46I concede this place is due for a bit of a shake-up.
00:35:49You, take me to the governor's office.
00:35:51Add the double. Add the double!
00:35:56Do yourself out.
00:36:06Stand out of the way. Come on, get through a bit.
00:36:09Right, I'll see you lot later.
00:36:12A summoner, eh, Jones?
00:36:15Oh, that's splendid.
00:36:16Now, what are you going to call him?
00:36:17Well, sir, with your permission, of course, and me and the wife sort of felt if we could take the
00:36:22liberty of naming after you, governor, a ratio.
00:36:26Oh, well, that's a very nice thought, Jones. Thank you. You tell your wife I'd be honored.
00:36:31Thank you very much, governor.
00:36:32Well, all being well, your wife is due out of hospital on Saturday.
00:36:36That's right, yes, governor.
00:36:38And you'd like to be home to welcome her, eh?
00:36:40Oh, I would very much, yes, sir. Please.
00:36:42Yes. Well, I think we can give you two days on parole.
00:36:45Thank you very much, governor.
00:36:46Listen, don't forget, back here in prison, eight o'clock sharp, Monday morning.
00:36:51I'll be picking you up.
00:36:52Yes, sir. Thank you, sir.
00:36:53I'll catch the workmen, sir, governor.
00:36:55Come in. That's all, Jones.
00:36:57Thank you, governor. Thank you very much.
00:37:03Chief Officer Sidney Crout reporting for duty sign.
00:37:06Ah. Welcome to Huntley, Mr. Crout.
00:37:08Thank you, sir.
00:37:09Sit down.
00:37:10Thank you, sir.
00:37:12Did you have a good journey here?
00:37:13Not bad, thank you, sir.
00:37:15Well, I hope you're going to enjoy being with us.
00:37:18You know, I like to think of everyone here, staff and prisoners, as a sort of family.
00:37:24Now, it's up to us to see that the men in our care have plenty to do.
00:37:27Keep them out of mischief.
00:37:29Sir Jenkins, your predecessor, was very successful in helping me with my rehabilitation courses.
00:37:36We've organized fretwork classes, rug-making, book-binding, basket-weaving, pottery...
00:37:41Excuse me, sir. I hope you don't mind me saying so, sir, but those are all indoor activities, aren't they?
00:37:46I thought the men looked a little pale.
00:37:48Might do them good to get them outside once in a while.
00:37:51Outside? Cross-country runs, paper chases, things like that, eh? Good idea.
00:37:56Of course, we've got our gardening class, but I'm sure that anything else you can think of in that direction
00:38:01would be very welcome.
00:38:03Don't you worry, sir. I can think of plenty of things.
00:38:08Look! How's that?
00:38:10Very good. Very good.
00:38:11Coming back.
00:38:12Here. Guess who's taking Jackie's place?
00:38:15Huh?
00:38:15Sourcraft from Rockhampton.
00:38:16What? Sourcraft? Who's he?
00:38:18Build up and get this tub out of the way. Where's the cat?
00:38:19Well, he's gone out for a walk. What about the cable will show me now, then?
00:38:23Put the markers on that, all right. We might have gone in and out with old Jackie, but this bleeder
00:38:26will have the place laced up tighter on the drum.
00:38:28We'll have to scrub it.
00:38:29Well, what's the matter with him, anyway?
00:38:30What's the matter with him?
00:38:31He's just about the most twisted screw will ever crack down a prison corridor, that's all.
00:38:34Yeah.
00:38:36Yeah.
00:38:36Well, let's hurry up. I think he's on his way up again.
00:38:39Come on, dude. I'll get the carpet up.
00:38:41All right. Come on, step out of the way.
00:38:43All right.
00:38:43Hey, where's that put it?
00:38:44Under it. Under it.
00:38:46Yeah, in there. In there. Snout.
00:38:48All clear?
00:38:49Right.
00:38:51Oh, here he comes.
00:38:52All right, line up.
00:39:07Oh, yes.
00:39:11Oh, yes.
00:39:14Oh, yes.
00:39:17Oh, now, this is about the nastiest little collection of villainy as I've seen in one cell for a long
00:39:23time.
00:39:28Dodge a lane, for a start.
00:39:31By the way, whatever happened to that mate of yours? You know, the one who tried to flog a couple
00:39:35of aircraft carriers.
00:39:36Sophie something or other. What was it? Sophie Stevens?
00:39:39I don't know nothing about that.
00:39:40Shut up! I'm talking!
00:39:44Oh, here's another one. Mr. Jelly Knight.
00:39:46Another old acquaintance, never to be forgot.
00:39:49Caught at the old safe blowing lark again, I suppose, weren't you?
00:39:54Oh, now.
00:39:57Here's a nasty, evil little face I've not met before. Who's this, then?
00:40:01That's Lenny the Dip.
00:40:02Pickpocket, are you? Come here.
00:40:06I'll soon teach you to keep your thieving little hands to yourself.
00:40:10Get back!
00:40:16Well, now, you gentlemen have had it pretty cushy up to now, haven't you?
00:40:20Fretwork classes, basket weaving.
00:40:23Well, that is not my idea of how to run a prison, is it, Mr. Lane?
00:40:26No, Chief.
00:40:27No, Chief!
00:40:29Well, from now on, remember this.
00:40:31It's my ideas that count. Do you understand?
00:40:36By the way, how long is it since you lot had a spell in the quarry?
00:40:40Quarry?
00:40:40The quarry.
00:40:41Nothing works in the quarry, sir. It's been closed for years.
00:40:45Is it really?
00:40:46Yeah.
00:40:47Is it?
00:40:51Well, I'm personally inviting you to a grand reopening ceremony.
00:40:56That'd be nice, wouldn't it?
00:40:58Monday morning.
00:40:59Six o'clock!
00:41:10Hey, what's that cat doing here?
00:41:12Oh, it's a prison cat, sir. It's named Strangeways.
00:41:15Yes, I've seen some of its strange ways. Get them cleaned up and get it out of here.
00:41:18Get it out of here!
00:41:24Six o'clock in the quarry?
00:41:26Well, the papers don't come till seven.
00:41:28Look, what are we gonna do, Dodger?
00:41:29Yeah, Dodger, what are we gonna do?
00:41:31Hey!
00:41:31Don't panic!
00:41:32Let us remember what the poet said.
00:41:35If you can keep your heads when all about you are doing their nuts,
00:41:37you're a better man than I am, Gunga Din.
00:41:38You said that?
00:41:39I did. Now, belt up, I'm thinking.
00:41:48Oh, yeah.
00:41:51What's this, then?
00:41:53Not enough rocks to go around?
00:41:56Can't find any more, Chief.
00:41:57See, nobody's been down here lately.
00:41:59Oh.
00:42:00Well, we'll have to do something about that, then, won't we?
00:42:05Do you know what this is, Mr. Knight?
00:42:07Oh, yes, sir. Dynamite.
00:42:09Dynamite, yes, that's right. I thought you'd recognize it.
00:42:12Let me see.
00:42:13Yeah, I think one will be sufficient.
00:42:16Now, I want you to take this.
00:42:19I want you to stick it in a crack in the rocks there somewhere.
00:42:23Should bring down enough to keep you busy for the rest of the day.
00:42:26Go on.
00:42:37Right, now, there's a ten-second fuse on that.
00:42:39Might be much of a bang.
00:42:40You two.
00:42:41Come and stand round here for a minute.
00:42:44All right.
00:42:45Light up, Mr. Knight.
00:42:46All right.
00:42:47But, Chief, I'm sorry.
00:42:49I promised the judge I wouldn't muck about with explosives again.
00:42:52I mustn't do it.
00:42:54No, he mustn't do it, Chief.
00:42:55He mustn't do it, Chief.
00:42:58He mustn't do it, Chief.
00:43:15He mustn't do it.
00:43:15Oh, what's the matter with you like that?
00:43:17Roger the little bang!
00:43:19Roger the little bang!
00:43:42Where's the governor?
00:43:44He's in his garden, Chief.
00:43:47Where's the governor?
00:44:02Excuse me, sir.
00:44:04Ah, Mr. Crout.
00:44:06I hear we've reopened the quarry.
00:44:10Yes, sir.
00:44:11I wish to report a little accident.
00:44:13Not only in the quarry, Mr. Crout.
00:44:16What about this?
00:44:18Oh.
00:44:19That's a pity.
00:44:21Well, that's what we say, sir.
00:44:22Pity, Mr. Crout.
00:44:24Do you realize that tomorrow is the day at the Huntley Haughty Country Show?
00:44:28Do you know that my marrow would have caused a sensation?
00:44:30And through your crass, stupid idiocy, I shall have to withdraw?
00:44:35What the devil do you mean by it?
00:44:36Look, sir.
00:44:37We was at the quarry.
00:44:38I'm not listening to any excuses, Mr. Crout.
00:44:41In future, confine yourself to routine activities.
00:44:44Excuse me, sir.
00:44:44That's yours.
00:44:47Yes, sir.
00:44:50Oh, one moment, Mr. Crout.
00:44:53Yes, sir.
00:44:54I believe this is yours.
00:45:03Basket weaving tomorrow, Chief?
00:45:07Basket weaving.
00:45:08I'll get you baskets weaving.
00:45:10Don't you worry.
00:45:12I haven't finished with you lot yet.
00:45:13Don't you worry.
00:45:15Here you are, Vicar.
00:45:16Thank you, my good man.
00:45:18You'll find the governor just over there.
00:45:20What, that?
00:45:20Oh, thank you, yes.
00:45:24What do I say?
00:45:25That's Crout, isn't it?
00:45:26What's he doing here?
00:45:27Just took over from Jenkins.
00:45:28Oh, blimey.
00:45:30Oh, Lane, what beautiful flowers.
00:45:32You never told me you were gifted with green fingers.
00:45:34Governor, I'm just remarking on the sheer beauty of your flower garden.
00:45:37Thank you, Padre.
00:45:38We are the prouder of them.
00:45:40Yes.
00:45:41And what about your plans for Lane and his friends?
00:45:43Oh, progressing very favorably.
00:45:44Thank you, governor.
00:45:45I would like to have a word with the boys, if I might.
00:45:47Could I do that?
00:45:48Yes, yes, by all means.
00:45:49In the garden here.
00:45:50In the garden.
00:45:51How pleasant it does to you.
00:45:52Credit, governor.
00:45:53I'm afraid I've suffered rather a sad loss.
00:45:56Oh, I'm sorry.
00:45:57There's my marrow.
00:45:58I'm being upon my marrow.
00:46:00Oh?
00:46:01You know, I watched it grow since it was that size.
00:46:04Oh, no.
00:46:05Well, I suppose I may just fall back on my roses.
00:46:10What happened to me, sir?
00:46:11Crap, Dr. Rottenick.
00:46:13Here, I want to talk to you in the greenhouse.
00:46:22You realize we'll have to scrub the old set-up now, Kraut's here?
00:46:25What do you mean?
00:46:25We can't do that.
00:46:27Ethel's got all the griff.
00:46:28Lenny's mother's learnt her stuff by heart.
00:46:30It's all lined up and ready, I tell you.
00:46:31Will you get this in your thin head?
00:46:33There's no way out of this place.
00:46:35No one ever dig a tunnel?
00:46:37A fellow called Hacking did once during a war.
00:46:39Well, what happened to it?
00:46:41God knows.
00:46:42Well, don't stand there like an idiot.
00:46:43If you can't find one, dig one.
00:46:45Don't you call me an idiot.
00:46:46My ice crew's coming.
00:46:48Two million quid, Dotter.
00:46:50Two million quid.
00:46:54Here, Lenny.
00:46:55What?
00:46:56You get the pictures a lot.
00:46:57Well, not now, I don't.
00:46:58No, not now you don't.
00:46:59But when you did,
00:47:01do you ever remember seeing a prisoner of war camp film called The Wooden Horse?
00:47:04There was a lot of fellows.
00:47:05They all escaped from the middle of an exercise yard.
00:47:07How?
00:47:08Dug an hole under a wooden vaulting horse.
00:47:11So what?
00:47:12Well, who can we trust in the cob at a shop?
00:47:26How's it going, Jelly?
00:47:27All right, Dodger.
00:47:29Right.
00:47:30I'll head you down the quarry.
00:47:32Six o'clock and all's well.
00:47:34Come on, Lenny.
00:47:35You're slowing down.
00:47:42Get out.
00:47:42It went right down my neck.
00:47:43Look at my hair.
00:47:44All dirty.
00:47:45Ah, shut up.
00:47:46Come on in.
00:47:47Look how much longer we've got to do this, Dodge.
00:47:49Don't worry, mate.
00:47:50Not much longer.
00:47:51You'll get your truss over there.
00:47:53What do you think this is?
00:47:54A hole under the camp?
00:47:55Get that thing out of it.
00:47:56Yes, sir.
00:47:57Oh, oh, Lenny.
00:47:58Three knocks.
00:47:59Danger signal.
00:48:00Oh, Lenny.
00:48:01Dodger.
00:48:02Stall them while we fill in, will you?
00:48:04All right, then.
00:48:05Pack it up.
00:48:07Right.
00:48:07You, you and you.
00:48:08Ship that kid's placing back where it belongs.
00:48:11Uh, Mr. Crown, sir.
00:48:12Yeah, what is it?
00:48:12Uh, do you require us to move this wooden vaulting horse?
00:48:15You heard me.
00:48:16Uh, in other words, you've seen enough of us doing our vaulting.
00:48:19Correct.
00:48:21Well, where would you require us to put it?
00:48:22Back where it came from.
00:48:24And get moving!
00:48:27I'm struggling, honestly.
00:48:29I just dug all this out.
00:48:32Right.
00:48:32Up.
00:48:38Lift.
00:48:38Right.
00:48:39Lift.
00:48:39Right.
00:48:40Right.
00:48:40Hold it.
00:48:41Hold it.
00:48:42I can see we're going to take all day with this.
00:48:44Scrub round it.
00:48:45Put it over there.
00:48:45You lot.
00:48:46Hold it.
00:48:46Over there.
00:48:46Come on.
00:48:48Move in.
00:48:50What's the matter with you?
00:48:51You were all slow this morning.
00:48:53Come on.
00:48:55Come on.
00:48:56Come on.
00:48:56Come on.
00:48:58Spread it out.
00:48:58Spread it out.
00:48:59Come on, Lenny.
00:49:00Get a move on.
00:49:00Come on.
00:49:02Right.
00:49:03And we're really going to have some P.T.
00:49:06We're going to have jumping up and down on the spot for a couple of hours.
00:49:08Come on, Lenny.
00:49:09So, it's jumping up and down on the spot.
00:49:12After me.
00:49:15Big it.
00:49:17Hop down.
00:49:18Hop down.
00:49:19Hop down.
00:49:20Hop down.
00:49:20Hop down.
00:49:21Get your head up, Lane.
00:49:23Get your head up.
00:49:24Hop.
00:49:25Hop.
00:49:25Hop.
00:49:25Hop.
00:49:26Hop.
00:49:27Hop.
00:49:46Oh, don't you stand there.
00:49:49Help me out.
00:49:49Yes, sir.
00:49:58So we got a little bowl amongst us, have we?
00:50:04Lane!
00:50:06I'm here!
00:50:22You wouldn't know anything about that, I suppose.
00:50:25No, Chief.
00:50:27Come and have a look!
00:50:37Ask your thing, it's worms, Chief.
00:50:41Worms?
00:50:44Take that stupid grin off your face. Give me a box of matches.
00:50:48Well, let's see what little worm's living at the bottom of this hole, shall we?
00:50:55Where do you think you're going?
00:50:58I thought you'd finish with me, Chief.
00:51:02Keep him jumping up and down till I get back.
00:51:04Yes, sir.
00:51:05Right Lane, start jumping.
00:51:07Hup, down, hup, down, hup!
00:51:11Hup, down, hup!
00:51:11Hup, down, hup!
00:51:14Hup, down, hup!
00:51:16Hup!
00:51:16Hup, down, hup!
00:51:19Hup, down, hup!
00:51:20Hup, down, hup!
00:51:24Hup, down, hup!
00:51:30Hup, down, hup!
00:51:40Dodger, I never thought I'd sink this low.
00:51:43Well, there's one consolation, Cocker, and you can't sink no lower.
00:51:48He won't get out here on the 28th. Not the right we're going.
00:51:52You need a miracle to get us out of here, boy. I'll tell you that.
00:52:02Dodger! Danger within!
00:52:04Danger within?
00:52:05Yeah, that prisoner of war escape film, don't you remember?
00:52:08That fellow had a theory that all the trains led to the outside.
00:52:12Good idea, isn't it?
00:52:13That's a very good idea, Charlie.
00:52:16Yeah, it does. What's a good idea, eh?
00:52:17Don't make yourself a son.
00:52:18Hey, what's up down here?
00:52:19Shut up! Shut up!
00:52:20That then, with a million nickel at stake, it's worth a try, isn't it?
00:52:24It certainly is worth a try, boy.
00:52:26What's worth a try, Dodger?
00:52:27Lenny, you're the smallest.
00:52:29I'm not as big as Dodger, you know, look.
00:52:31You're the smallest, Lenny.
00:52:33Now, Lenny, get down here and see where them drains lead to.
00:52:35I'm not going down here. You must be potty if you think you're gonna get me down there.
00:52:42Lenny, come here.
00:52:44Have you forgotten what your dear mum said to you last visiting day?
00:52:46What?
00:52:47About how you never try to break out like the rest of your relatives.
00:52:50Have you forgotten that, Lenny? Have you forgotten it?
00:52:51No.
00:52:52Listen, you're doing this for your mum. For your mum.
00:52:54And for the honour of the Price family, Lenny.
00:52:58Now, get down here. You never know, you might come up covered in glory.
00:53:05In you go, Lenny.
00:53:07Go on.
00:53:08Where's Lenny going, Dodger?
00:53:09He's trying to find out which way the drains go, lawyer.
00:53:13Come on, Lenny.
00:53:14Come on, give up.
00:53:15Come on.
00:53:15Push it.
00:53:17There's no ghost down there.
00:53:19Come on.
00:53:20Here.
00:53:25How you doing?
00:53:26Been half dark down here.
00:53:29Goes round a corner now.
00:53:31And then...
00:53:32Here, I'm slipping!
00:53:33Oh, don't you!
00:53:39We should never let him do it.
00:53:41Not without a paddle.
00:53:48well at least now one can say we haven't tried yeah
00:53:54listen how did we get in here was like i was trying to tell you the other day we was
00:53:57in that
00:53:57band and that fellow kindly give strange ways some milk strange ways in here anymore well kindly
00:54:02don't give him some milk then what i mean is what brought us in through the gate like where i
00:54:06wasn't
00:54:07it exactly that's just how we're gonna get out of here where's my fag papers get wilbur
00:54:17come on my little darling up you come
00:54:21got a little job for you wilbur my lad
00:54:26you ain't had many flying hours lately have you boy no he ain't been out since we sent him
00:54:31to my mum with them gift tokens that's right that was christmas wasn't it yeah long time ago
00:54:35got him here we are right he's getting a bit fat isn't he
00:54:42you're giving him too many of them cornflakes of yours
00:54:44all right that goes in there press well say bye-bye darling good old wilbur son
00:54:50say bye-bye good luck
00:54:54there we go all right all right don't panic don't panic food out that's it go on now out of
00:54:59you go go on go on go on
00:55:01hey dodge do you reckon you'll make it make it you'll walk it
00:55:17oh look at me it's wilbur what are you doing here you naughty boy have you got something for me
00:55:26i believe you have just a minute now mummy i've looked at you
00:55:32i'll say i'll say i'll say oh turn that damn thing off i'll say wilbur's brought a
00:55:38message what's that see what did i tell you good about time too let's have a look at it
00:55:45oh listen to this dodger thinks they can make it heavens he wants a black mariah
00:55:51he must be balmy he wants his head examined where the hell does he think we can get one of
00:55:56those
00:55:57wait a minute i think i know it'll cost us a bit but do you remember that film company bar
00:56:02who got us
00:56:02that post office van i thought he was doing a stretch no no no he's out now i think i
00:56:07can find him
00:56:36i'll get cracking
00:57:06it's not my jobs
00:57:10right right right lock up yes sir
00:57:15well sergeant major that is stage one of operation treasure chest completed
00:57:19yes sir yes
00:57:29close on me close on me come on close on me
00:57:36well that's the end of phase two you know your positions
00:57:39yes sir
00:57:40all right
00:57:42ah good evening superintendent come to see how it should be done
00:57:45oh my view sir one squad car and a motorcycle escort and we'd have this job done in half for
00:57:50time
00:57:50ah lose half the diamonds too probably final political thing there'll be about that
00:57:55everything depends upon the safe delivery of these stones you know
00:57:57you do realize sir that you'll block the portsmouth road for hours with this lot
00:58:01my dear man we're not as fools as that you know we have our own special route known only to
00:58:06my officers and myself
00:58:08ready to move sir
00:58:09right
00:58:10move
00:58:11yes sir
00:58:13out
00:58:15out
00:58:17help
00:58:17help
00:58:18help
00:58:19help
00:58:19your understaffer's orders
00:58:21good good
00:58:23start up
00:58:26good
00:58:28you
00:58:28hurt
00:58:29all rightη™‚
00:58:32good tardy
00:58:50Hold them in advance!
00:58:53Sampy, they're off.
00:58:55Well done. See you later.
00:59:41Sampy, they're off.
00:59:47Never thought we'd ever use this again, did you?
00:59:51Common breaking and exiting.
00:59:56Right.
00:59:57All right, about that.
01:00:01All right.
01:00:04Now, come on.
01:00:06Right.
01:00:15What's up with old craft creeping about? Can't he get his head down?
01:00:18Hurry up.
01:00:22Keys.
01:00:23Yeah, right.
01:00:45Come on, mate. Open up.
01:00:47Got half a dozen here for you.
01:00:49For us? We're not speaking, anybody.
01:00:51Well, I got them here anyhow. Six are the best.
01:00:54Anyway, you're a bit late, aren't you?
01:00:56Late? Lucky to get here at all. Had a head of a job finding the place.
01:01:16Nice, quiet little place you have here.
01:01:20Nothing ever happens here.
01:01:22Seems to me you don't want too much to happen in a place like this.
01:01:25Anyway, what have you brought?
01:01:28Nothing startling for you. Usual sort of collection.
01:01:31Three loan club secretaries, a couple of bigamists and a female impersonator
01:01:35to be delivered to Hampton jail by order of the Quarter Sessions.
01:01:38Delivered where?
01:01:39Hampton jail.
01:01:40Oh, you're miles out. This is Huntley, not Hampton.
01:01:43No wonder we didn't know you were coming.
01:01:45Come on. Come on.
01:01:47Are you sure?
01:01:48Am I sure?
01:01:49All right. All right. All right. All right. What's going on here?
01:01:52Bit of a mix up here, Chief. These prisoners should have been delivered to Hampton.
01:01:56What are you doing here? Getting us up in the middle of the night. Get them over there, quick.
01:01:59Have a heart, Chief. I've been driving around all day. Can't I leave them here tonight and pick them up
01:02:04in the morning?
01:02:04Don't push your luck, Sobey.
01:02:06Leave them here? What do you think? This is a doss house? Get that load out of here.
01:02:10All right, Chief. As you say.
01:02:12Get those gates open!
01:02:14Hang on.
01:02:17Haven't I seen you somewhere before?
01:02:19I dare say you have, Chief. I deliver all over the place.
01:02:45Oh, Dodger darling. It's lovely to see you again.
01:02:49There's a time and place, you know.
01:02:50Well, I've had the bands called twice. I do hope everything goes all right.
01:02:55Won't we have a lovely honeymoon?
01:02:58Marvellous. You're in Holloway and I'm in Dartmoor.
01:03:00I say it is a bit more like, ain't it, Lenny Boy? Yeah, right, Mum.
01:03:03And it's thrashing. Yeah.
01:03:04It's just like the old times when Daddy and me was first stuffed.
01:03:09Oh, Mum. Be your mum. Don't cry. Be your mum blown out, eh?
01:03:13Don't go on. Go on, blow. Go on. Silly boy.
01:03:16All right.
01:03:18How's it going, Soppy?
01:03:21Marvellous. We've got a good half-assed tart on.
01:03:55Here we are. Come along. Come along, Lenny.
01:04:00Here you are, boy. Down you go.
01:04:05Where do you want the traffic lights, Soppy?
01:04:07Ah, wait a minute.
01:04:09Excuse me, Mum. Hold that, Mum.
01:04:13Here we are, Dodger.
01:04:17Just about here.
01:04:23Hang on, schedule, chaps. End of phase three.
01:04:26Now then, we strike off this road here
01:04:28and follow the route through these lanes as planned.
01:04:31We hit Portsmouth here.
01:04:33We maintain radio silence unless anything vital crops up.
01:04:36Any questions?
01:04:37No, sir. Sounds perfectly straightforward to me, sir.
01:04:40Right. Stand by to move off.
01:04:41Stand by to move off, Sergeant Major.
01:04:43Stand by! Stand by!
01:04:46Stand by!
01:04:48Stand by!
01:04:49Stand by!
01:04:49Why don't you shut up down there?
01:04:51There's people up here trying to sleep.
01:04:53Stand by!
01:04:54Damn peasants.
01:05:01in a kind of a deep exit.
01:05:02You're just going to sit there, man.
01:05:02Stand up!
01:05:05Keep it
01:05:05about a...
01:05:06steady fifteen miles an hour.
01:05:09Well, don't look so miserable, man.
01:05:11You'll soon be home and drive.
01:05:16I warned you!
01:05:30Come on, Mum, hurry up with your cable.
01:05:32Come on, sir, get the other one.
01:05:40Here, plug it in, Dodge.
01:05:43There.
01:05:52Get over to the other side of the embankment, boys.
01:05:54You'll find the rest of the gear there.
01:05:56Right.
01:06:10All right, Ethel, dear, take her away.
01:06:12All right, Sophie. Good luck.
01:06:36Good luck.
01:06:39Good luck.
01:06:40Good luck.
01:06:41The best law is digging up something.
01:06:44Ah.
01:06:45Here we go.
01:06:46Forward.
01:07:05Come on, Lord.
01:07:07Standard rear airport stopped by traffic lights, sir.
01:07:10Eh? Oh, all right.
01:07:12Well, we'll link up the other end of this single-line traffic nonsense.
01:07:15The other side of the bridge.
01:07:45Big Sean-oby-Rat.
01:07:46. . .
01:08:14What's the trouble, officer?
01:08:23Hey, what's this? What's going on here? Help! Help!
01:08:28Let's get out! What's happening? What's going on here?
01:08:32Here's help! Help! Help!
01:08:40Hello? Hello? Sorry to bother you, sir.
01:08:44It appears we have a dislocated track route, sir.
01:08:47Yeah, well, hurry up and get the damn thing fixed.
01:08:49And don't let that van out of your sight.
01:08:51Van, sir? It ought to be with you by now, sir.
01:08:56With us?
01:08:58What do you mean it ought to be with us?
01:09:04Back! Back! Back!
01:09:08Back!
01:09:15Hey, you dodged. Worked like a charm, didn't it? Like a charm.
01:09:19Mind you, I'll really be lovely once we're back in the old jug, then.
01:09:21Yeah, I'd like to see their faces, wouldn't you, eh?
01:09:33Well, what do we do now, sir?
01:09:35Well, what do you think, you fool?
01:09:37Head to police!
01:09:40Down!
01:09:41Down!
01:09:42Down!
01:09:43Down!
01:09:43Down!
01:09:44Down!
01:09:45Down!
01:09:48You can't keep them in the cell with you!
01:09:51Who says we're gonna keep them in the cell with you?
01:09:53Dodd!
01:09:53Can I have these for studs?
01:09:55Oh, look what she wants for studs.
01:09:57Yeah.
01:09:57Now, come on. Hand over.
01:09:59Oh, Dodd!
01:10:00Now, come on. Hand over.
01:10:01Later.
01:10:02Yeah.
01:10:02Don't let that girl. Lift up there.
01:10:06Oh, look at that.
01:10:06Tommy.
01:10:07That's stealing, you know.
01:10:08Yeah.
01:10:32We got an outer waist, so get down beyond the edge and keep out.
01:10:34Right now, you all set?
01:10:35All know what to do?
01:10:36Yes.
01:10:36Come on, Ned.
01:10:38Oh, Dodd, you love.
01:10:39Oh.
01:10:41All knoweth, no.
01:10:42Later.
01:10:43Go and sleep in the car with Mum.
01:10:45I can't give me mind to it now.
01:10:46Oh, all right.
01:10:47I suppose I shall have to get myself a do-it-yourself honeymoon kit.
01:10:50Always griping you are.
01:10:51Well.
01:10:52Well.
01:11:15I'm so glad you stopped. I don't seem to be sparking properly.
01:11:18You don't?
01:11:19No.
01:11:20Well, I'd better have a look at your little old distributor then, hadn't I?
01:11:28Now then.
01:11:30I do hope it's not my big end.
01:11:47There we are, Miss. That ought to do it.
01:11:53Right.
01:11:54Try it now.
01:11:58Oh, that's marvellous. Thanks very much.
01:12:01Oh, it's a pleasure.
01:12:04You can come and empty my dustbin any time.
01:12:08Come on.
01:12:29Here, Dodger.
01:12:30Hmm?
01:12:31You sure that first stop is our chokey?
01:12:33Yeah, I'll double check.
01:12:34Every Tuesday, Thursday, I'll be prison first call.
01:12:45Second call.
01:12:46Yeah, I forgot about Fred's calf.
01:12:50.
01:12:55.
01:12:55.
01:12:55.
01:12:56.
01:12:57.
01:13:04.
01:13:07.
01:13:07.
01:13:07.
01:13:07.
01:13:08.
01:13:08.
01:13:08.
01:13:09.
01:13:09.
01:13:09.
01:13:09.
01:13:09.
01:13:09.
01:13:09.
01:13:10.
01:13:10.
01:13:10.
01:13:10.
01:13:11.
01:13:11.
01:13:11.
01:13:12.
01:13:12.
01:13:12.
01:13:12.
01:13:12.
01:13:13.
01:13:13.
01:13:13.
01:13:13.
01:13:13.
01:13:14.
01:13:14.
01:13:15.
01:13:15.
01:13:15.
01:13:15.
01:13:16.
01:13:16.
01:13:16.
01:13:17.
01:13:17.
01:13:17.
01:13:17.
01:13:18.
01:13:18.
01:13:18.
01:13:18.
01:13:18.
01:13:19.
01:13:19.
01:13:20.
01:13:20.
01:13:20.
01:13:20.
01:13:20.
01:13:25.
01:13:25.
01:13:26.
01:13:26What are you doing? Haven't I lie in?
01:13:29Come on out of them pits!
01:13:31Just because it's your last morning.
01:13:33Come on out of it!
01:13:34Another half hour you were like to call me mister.
01:13:36And I'll have less on your lip.
01:13:37I know your type.
01:13:39Keep you in a minute too long and you're writing minutes to your MP.
01:13:41Well, don't you worry. I'm not dropping any clangers.
01:13:46Immediately after breakfast you will collect your city clothes
01:13:49and report for Governor Citadel!
01:13:52Report!
01:13:52Get out of here!
01:13:55Here's a piggy bank.
01:14:01Cheerio, Count. I'll give you a lot to Venice.
01:14:03Here, Doctor.
01:14:03Do us a favour on the outside, will you?
01:14:05Go down and see Fred, my mate.
01:14:07He lives at 7th Sebastopol Village.
01:14:08When you get there, give a knock on the door,
01:14:10some old bird will come down and let you in.
01:14:12Now, he shall tell you if he's there or not.
01:14:13If he's not, go down in the basement and you'll see a geezer down there called Nick the Bubble.
01:14:17He'll tell you.
01:14:17Look, I'm sorry, Count. I've got a load on my mind.
01:14:19I'll never remember it all.
01:14:20Somebody else.
01:14:21Don't worry about it.
01:14:22Look, I've got it all down a bit of paper here.
01:14:24You won't forget now, will you?
01:14:25You think of everything, don't you?
01:14:27Good luck to you, Count.
01:14:28Come on, lads, and good luck.
01:14:29Here, Doctor.
01:14:30Come on, Tubman's short.
01:14:32Tubman's short?
01:14:33Yeah.
01:14:33Isn't he amazing, this fellow?
01:14:34He's got 70,000 liquor coming to him.
01:14:36He's worried about Tubman's.
01:14:37Well, I mean, why don't you take it out with a gun?
01:14:38Oh, don't be like that, Doctor.
01:14:39No, no, no. Do me a favour.
01:14:40You take it out with a gun.
01:14:41No, I'll leave it under the circumstances.
01:14:43Can you forget about this for a minute?
01:14:45All right, then I'll look.
01:14:46Remember all the act?
01:14:47Yeah.
01:14:47As we were home?
01:14:48Yeah, I've got it.
01:14:51Ah, there you are.
01:14:52Come in.
01:14:55Oh, come on, lads.
01:14:56Come on in.
01:14:57Oh, lads.
01:14:58Your father has very kindly come to see you safely home.
01:15:01Now, you want your railway warrants?
01:15:03Sure.
01:15:04Let's see now.
01:15:06Where are we?
01:15:07Let's see.
01:15:09Ah, there we are.
01:15:13Have you got those books we mentioned, Vicar?
01:15:16Oh, yes, of course.
01:15:17Some books for your library governor from my parishioners.
01:15:20Oh, dear me.
01:15:20Very kindly.
01:15:21Books.
01:15:22How very kind of them.
01:15:23Thank you very much.
01:15:24I wouldn't like to have to carry this all the way home again.
01:15:27Perhaps you'd like to pile them down there, would you?
01:15:29What a good idea.
01:15:30Yes, I will.
01:15:36Oh.
01:15:37Grow bigger marrows, eh?
01:15:39Haven't seen that one before.
01:15:42That's splendid.
01:15:43I think I shall keep that myself.
01:15:45Well, Padre, thank you very much.
01:15:47It's a pleasure.
01:15:50Well, lads, you've paid your debt to society.
01:15:53Exactly.
01:15:54You can now consider yourselves free men.
01:15:57But before you go...
01:15:59We're free!
01:16:01We're free!
01:16:02We're free!
01:16:05We're free!
01:16:06We're free!
01:16:06What's the matter?
01:16:08We're free, don't you?
01:16:09Mum!
01:16:10Mum, we're free!
01:16:10We're coming home, Mum!
01:16:11I'll be home for Christmas!
01:16:13And I want turkey!
01:16:14Would you like to be the governor?
01:16:16We'll go free, don't you?
01:16:17We'll be home for Christmas!
01:16:19Mum!
01:16:19We're coming home for Christmas!
01:16:21Mum, get cooking, will you?
01:16:23Get that turkey on quick, Mum!
01:16:25Oh, it'll be lovely!
01:16:26Here, Dodger, you can come!
01:16:27You can have a leg!
01:16:28And we're gonna have pudding!
01:16:29And you can come and you can have some turkey!
01:16:30Would you like that?
01:16:31Yeah, lovely!
01:16:32But my mum is a machine cook!
01:16:33We're free, guys!
01:16:34Mum!
01:16:35You say I'm free has mentally unhinged him!
01:16:37Get some water, Governor!
01:16:39Poor lad!
01:16:40Poor lad!
01:16:41Freedom's a heady wine, you know, Governor!
01:16:43What happened, eh?
01:16:44Soon you'll be home with your dear mum!
01:16:45I think the sooner we get him in the fresh air, the better!
01:16:48Yes, a good idea.
01:16:49We'll put him in front of the bus with the window open.
01:16:51Us?
01:16:52Don't you think we'd better go in your car in the circumstances, Victor?
01:16:55Oh, no, leave it to me.
01:16:56The bus is better in every way, I assure you.
01:16:57Oh, yes, yes.
01:16:58Well, we'd better get started, you know.
01:17:00I'm meeting another welfare group on the 1050.
01:17:02I'll come along with you.
01:17:03Capital idea!
01:17:04Yeah, I'll be all right now.
01:17:06Come on, my boy.
01:17:07Come on, my son.
01:17:08Come on.
01:17:08Can you manage my case, Knight?
01:17:10Oh, all right.
01:17:11Thank you, all right.
01:17:13Which way?
01:17:14Which over here?
01:17:15Here.
01:17:17Here.
01:17:18What do you mean it's better to go by bus?
01:17:20Don't be silly.
01:17:21There are roadblocks all over the place.
01:17:23You'll never get through in my car.
01:17:24Whereas they won't think of stopping the prison bus.
01:17:26Not with him in it.
01:17:27Come on.
01:17:28Yeah.
01:17:29Yeah, that's true.
01:17:30That's true.
01:17:32Hold it!
01:17:32Hold it!
01:17:34You go to the station.
01:17:35I want to pick up the rest of my luggage.
01:17:41Oh, I'm sorry, sir.
01:17:42I didn't know you was there.
01:17:43All right, Mr Crowley.
01:17:44You must, you must.
01:17:45Thank you, sir.
01:17:49Right, driver.
01:18:17Oh, excuse me, sir.
01:18:18I didn't know you was on the bus, sir.
01:18:19I was just going to collect my cases from the left luggage.
01:18:21Oh, that's all right, Mr Crowley.
01:18:22No, it won't be a minute, sir.
01:18:23All right.
01:18:25Oh, there you are, Padre.
01:18:26Thank you very much, Governor.
01:18:28I've got my umbrella.
01:18:29Well, goodbye, Mr Crowley.
01:18:32All right, you lot.
01:18:33You'll be back, don't you worry.
01:18:34I never help you when you are.
01:18:36You want to be careful who you're talking to, my good man.
01:18:39You're a public servant.
01:18:41I'll have you.
01:18:42I'll...
01:18:43Shut up!
01:18:43I'm talking.
01:18:49Well, goodbye, Knight.
01:18:51Goodbye, sir.
01:18:51Goodbye, Price.
01:18:52Bye, sir.
01:18:53And don't let me see you again.
01:18:55Don't fear, sir.
01:18:56Goodbye, then.
01:18:56Cheerio, Governor.
01:18:57Goodbye, Padre.
01:18:58Oh, goodbye.
01:18:59Thanks again for all you've done.
01:19:01Don't mention it.
01:19:01Well, if you'll excuse me, I'll just see if my welfare group have arrived.
01:19:05Goodbye, boys.
01:19:07I have an idea that Crowley had me rumbled.
01:19:09I'll keep out of the way until the last moment.
01:19:11See you on the train.
01:19:17Here, Lenny.
01:19:18Got one of these.
01:19:45It's Obie Stevens.
01:19:47Obie Stevens!
01:19:48Tell me Stevens!
01:19:49Thanks!
01:20:22I understand the governor, he's meeting us here and transport has been laid on to take us to the prison.
01:20:27I'll be damned.
01:20:30I hope I recognize you.
01:20:32Up to your own lungs again.
01:20:36What on earth do you think you're doing, officer?
01:20:40I beg your pardon, sir.
01:20:43Have you taken the mickey over me?
01:20:44Take the mickey over me.
01:20:46How dare you, sir?
01:20:47Soapy Stephens, you're hiding him, aren't you?
01:20:52Who is that?
01:20:56I saw him come on the station.
01:20:58Here, you want to watch him? He's always like that with clerical vicars.
01:21:02Yeah!
01:21:03Now, I have to remind you of Patterson, what on earth he's going on.
01:21:05Oh, thank goodness you're here, governor.
01:21:08This madness suddenly and violently assaulted me from behind.
01:21:11What the devil do you mean by crowd?
01:21:14Sir, one of these men is an impostor, sir. His name is Soapy Stephens.
01:21:17I remember him a parker, sir. He was a con man.
01:21:19What are you talking about?
01:21:21He was a crook, sir!
01:21:22They're all crooks, that's what it is. They're all crooks.
01:21:25My dear Patterson, what can I say?
01:21:27I'm afraid this man has shown signs of this before.
01:21:30Now kindly go to the bus and leave me to deal with him.
01:21:34Certainly, governor.
01:21:35Move along, gentlemen.
01:21:41Well, sir.
01:21:44I'll go and click my luggage, sir.
01:21:46I should.
01:21:47And, crowd?
01:21:48Yes, sir.
01:21:49Wouldn't it be better for all of us if you addressed it straight back to where it came from?
01:21:55Cheerio, crowdie!
01:21:56Cheerio, crowdie!
01:21:59Arrivederci, crowdie!
01:21:59Ha-ha-ha!
01:22:00You're alright?
01:22:01Pull your ass up!
01:22:02Ha-ha!
01:22:03Right now!
01:22:04Get out!
01:22:04Good boy!
01:22:05Good boy!
01:22:08Porter!
01:22:08Porter!
01:22:09You!
01:22:09Come here!
01:22:10What's wrong with this part of the train?
01:22:12Oh, God blimey!
01:22:25No sign of him.
01:22:26No.
01:22:28Doctor?
01:22:28Yeah?
01:22:29Sobey's definitely not on the train.
01:22:32Well, he'll have to get to the next one, won't he?
01:22:34Yeah.
01:22:37But I see your door.
01:22:42The law!
01:22:43What?
01:22:43They're coming down the corridor asking questions, don't you?
01:22:45Sit down.
01:22:46Act natural.
01:22:46What?
01:22:47They can't have tumbled.
01:22:49Unless they got Sobey.
01:22:50Yeah, but even if they got off Sobey, he'd never squirrel.
01:22:53No.
01:22:55No, of course he wouldn't.
01:22:56No.
01:22:57Not an old Sobey, wouldn't he?
01:22:58Sobey's all right, isn't he?
01:23:00No.
01:23:00Not Sobey.
01:23:01Yeah.
01:23:04Sobey's...
01:23:06Up on the roof, Libby.
01:23:07You're just trying to move, and you may.
01:23:08Up on the roof, Libby.
01:23:10Why don't you go now?
01:23:11Go down.
01:23:11Go down.
01:23:11Do it after you.
01:23:12It's always big.
01:23:13Go down.
01:23:21Go watch!
01:23:24You all right?
01:23:26Come on in.
01:23:40Danny!
01:23:41What?
01:23:42Stay up there and relax, and I'll give you the office.
01:23:45Relax?
01:23:55Excuse me, gentlemen.
01:23:57May I ask if you were both for London?
01:23:59Yeah, that's all right.
01:24:00Yeah, yeah.
01:24:07Travel warrant?
01:24:09Huntley Prison.
01:24:1110 a.m. this morning.
01:24:13Well, that certainly learned so much.
01:24:16Pearl, I must say, you've, uh, you've got the perfect alibi.
01:24:20Yeah, yeah.
01:24:22That's all we've got, all right?
01:24:23Perfect.
01:24:25Perfect alibi.
01:24:33Oi, Lenny!
01:24:34It's all right to come down now.
01:24:36Have they got?
01:24:37Give us a bag down first.
01:24:39Hang on, then.
01:24:44All yours, Dutch.
01:24:49Lenny!
01:24:56That wasn't a mail train, was it, George?
01:24:58No, it wasn't.
01:25:11Lenny, what are we going to do now, Dodger?
01:25:12Trying to clap on Junction.
01:25:31And now, the ancient and sacred ceremony of weighing his sublime highness against precious stones of great earth.
01:25:42My lord treasurer.
01:25:44My lord treasurer.
01:25:53My lord treasurer.
01:26:14Oh, he's got him.
01:26:16Look at him.
01:26:24Well, I'll take you all.
01:26:25Come on.
01:26:26Get him.
01:26:34Oh, he's got him.
01:26:38Good morning.
01:26:38Come on, let me go.
01:26:55ΒΆΒΆ
Comments