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Dog Park - Season 1 - Episode 02: Farty Marty's Birthday Party
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00:00Last time on Dog Park, you might remember this.
00:03So, Roland, you can't go to the park without me.
00:06Yeah, oh, yeah, no, I can. I can't run with a dog.
00:08Mia, have you seen the dog?
00:10Yes.
00:10Where?
00:11Oh, I don't know. I'll text him on.
00:12No, no, no. Just where is it?
00:14Santa girl.
00:16Oh, my God, you're Roland.
00:20I'm Samantha.
00:21Can we not do introductions? I'm not staying.
00:23I don't do chat.
00:24You do chat, but you left, and now I've got the dog.
00:28The dog I didn't want in the first place, by the way.
00:29But anyway, I've got full custody.
00:31Hi, Roland.
00:32Hello.
00:33You know, we're Emma and Beattie's park family.
00:35And, uh, I guess now we're yours.
00:36Oh, no, thank you.
00:38Are you okay?
00:38I mean, I'll see you at the park.
00:39Yes.
00:40Probably not, actually. But anyway.
00:58No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
01:03Text message received. Would you like to hear message?
01:06Yes.
01:07Emma, US, don't answer if drunk said hi.
01:09I decided to text you because whenever we talk it gets weird and silent.
01:13Anyway, something big happened.
01:15Carl's leaving and wants me to take over the whole department.
01:19Slime, emoji.
01:20Surprise, emoji.
01:21We should talk.
01:22They really like me, but shit, I don't know.
01:24It's everything I've ever wanted, but I have to apply for a new visa
01:28and talk to Mia, obviously.
01:29I know I can't just stay here forever, can I?
01:32Ha, ha.
01:33Maybe you guys can visit or Mia.
01:35Sorry for the dump.
01:36It's late and I'm on a high.
01:38Let's talk my tomorrow.
01:40X, X.
01:42Would you like to reply?
01:45No.
01:47Play Mr. Brightside.
01:50Here's what I found about Mr. Brightside.
01:53Play.
01:54Play Mr. Brightside.
01:58Unable to play, Mr. Brightside.
02:00I've been looking around with some kind of feeling, some kind of sensation.
02:05And you know I can feel it all inside.
02:09I don't care where you've been and I don't care to see what you're saying.
02:13Don't you know I will be dying.
02:17To be by your side.
02:22Oh, don't go down.
02:25Don't go down.
02:26Don't go down.
02:28Don't go down.
02:28It is you.
02:30Where's Beanie?
02:32Down, Muppet.
02:33Down.
02:34Muppet, down.
02:42Turns out you're right actually.
02:43Emma is probably staying a little bit longer.
02:45No way.
02:46Oh that's so great.
02:47She's amazing.
02:49Isn't she?
02:49I'm so happy for her.
02:50Maybe you should join her.
02:51Me?
02:51Oh god no I'm at a point in my life where I definitely need to stay put.
02:54Look at this guy.
02:54Taking up two spots.
02:56Selfish prick.
02:56Maybe he's saving a spot for his wife.
03:00Huh.
03:00The glass is very much half full for you isn't it?
03:04It is the better half for blood pressure, heart health.
03:07The thing is though like if the liquid is exactly at the halfway point the trajectory is down.
03:12I mean you don't fill a glass from the halfway point.
03:15Whether you drink it or you empty it out.
03:17So it is by definition half empty.
03:20You must be such an inspiration for your students.
03:24Is it creepy how much we know about you?
03:26Well I've changed a lot if that's any indication.
03:30Now you have to tell me what you do.
03:32Guess.
03:34That is my one gift.
03:38Something you love.
03:39But that nobody else even realises it's a job.
03:45Something that needs maths.
03:48Numbers.
03:49But also creativity.
03:51So drawing.
03:52Drawing.
03:53That'll do.
03:54Wrong.
03:55Come on.
03:57Architect.
04:00I'm close aren't I?
04:01You wish.
04:07I'm close.
04:08I want to go.
04:08Do you want to go.
04:09Okay.
04:09Hold it.
04:13It's a shame we can't be more like them as well.
04:22Won't you take me too?
04:23A funky town
04:25Won't you take me to
04:27A funky town
04:29Won't you take me to
04:31A funky town
04:32Won't you take me to
04:34A funky town
04:38I'm happy with that handshake
04:40Are you?
04:42Show me happy
04:48Dad!
04:49Hurry up, I'm gonna be late
04:51That'll be a threat to some dogs
04:54Why did you come here
04:55If you have to work?
04:56Mum's been begging me to take her
04:58He rolled in something again
05:01I've got a dance of clipping
05:02Did you go at home last time?
05:04Dad, I was staying at your kids
05:07Thanks for keeping up
05:08That's just kind of why I'm asking
05:10Are you gonna be home tonight?
05:11I don't know, Dad
05:13You should put him in a show
05:14He can't even sit
05:16He wouldn't do it in front of other people
05:18Did you bring something rolling?
05:21Maybe next time
05:22Oh, I have this book for you
05:24I'm definitely gonna kill him
05:26You have to go, bye
05:26Bye
05:27Oh, remember
05:29No contact
05:30No contact
05:30Yes, promise
05:31Yes
05:32Thank you
05:33Bye
05:34Bye, darling
05:35Thanks plenty
05:36Also, can you tell Dad to trim his nose hairs?
05:39It's really gross
05:39Okay, bye guys
05:40Bye
05:41Bye
05:42Bye, darling
05:42Bye
05:42Bye
05:42Bye
05:45Okay
05:46No, say Roland
05:47Oh, Rose Nolan
05:48You're her absolute favourite
05:49Uh, sure
05:50Yep, sure
05:50Never say no to day drinking
05:51Someone's at a bath
05:52Oh, yeah, you rolled in something again
05:54It's good to see me around and about, isn't it?
05:56I know, I told her no contact
05:57Oh, wise
05:58Did anyone get a fair hair tie?
06:00Why is that?
06:00Yes, I've got one
06:01You know what they say
06:02Patting dogs helps heartbreak
06:04Ah
06:05Doesn't it?
06:05Yeah
06:06Oh, yeah
06:07I think
06:08Connor broke up with her
06:09Oh, yeah
06:10Oh, yes, please
06:11Oh
06:12Oh, yeah, that's right
06:13That's right, yes
06:14But he's very sad, isn't it?
06:15Oh, excuse me
06:17Sorry
06:18Oh, if that's Emma
06:19Can you ask if she's from the arrivals department yet?
06:22You know, for visitors from
06:24Hello
06:25Thank you for your message
06:27Yeah, can we talk about that tomorrow?
06:29Yeah, well, you called me, Emma
06:30Yeah, so, um, Mia just sent me a photo of Beattie at the dog park
06:35Ah, yeah, because she's here at the park
06:37The dog, I mean
06:38Did you hear about Mia and Connor?
06:40Yeah, yeah, yeah
06:41Yeah, of course I did
06:42Hey, so why does Beattie's tag say she's at home?
06:45Because I took the tag off
06:47Why?
06:48Because you're using it to make sure I walk the dog
06:50I'm not
06:51Oh, jeez
06:52Roland, what is wrong with you?
06:54Why are you making this so hard?
06:56Well, why do you need to know where the dog is?
06:58In case she goes missing
06:59Yeah, and what are you going to do from New Mexico, Emma?
07:02Oh, I will call someone
07:03See, I'll be on to it before you even wake up
07:06Yeah, that's not the point
07:08The only reason you're tracking the dog is to make sure I'm walking her
07:13I really think you need help, Roland
07:38See you in the morning?
07:40Yeah, hopefully the world ends before then
07:57Oh, you're home
07:57You hungry?
07:59Dinner's in the oven
07:59There's nothing to eat
08:01When are you going shopping?
08:02I just went shopping
08:06There's no food
08:06Yeah, no, I can hear you
08:08You can't hear me
08:08Dinner's in the oven
08:14Ew
08:18You look so sad and lonely
08:21Are you talking to yourself or to dinner?
08:24Why don't you get some friends?
08:27Mum says you never reach out
08:28Does she?
08:30I'm ordering ice cream
08:33Mia
08:37Is everything all right?
08:39With?
08:42Well, with Connor
08:43I mean, if you ever want to
08:44I swear to God, Dad
08:46If you're about to give me relationship advice
08:47I will kill you in your sleep
08:49Okay
08:49You're drinking wine
08:51Again, by yourself again
08:54You don't do counselling
08:55Which is ironic
08:56And you don't even know your own data points
08:57No, you're right
08:58I don't
08:58And by the way, I'm deferring uni
08:59I have law concern my dick
09:01You're not deferring uni
09:01You cannot tell me what I can or can't do
09:17I'm sorry, Dad
09:17Oh, you don't have to be sorry
09:21No
09:22I've been to such a love-bombing fuck being
09:27Who is it?
09:31Connor
09:31Yes, yeah
09:35Well, you know, as you quite rightly point out
09:37I'm not really qualified to give relationship advice
09:41Okay
09:41No, no, no, but I was going to say
09:48When you're young
09:49Well, actually, even when you're not
09:52It can seem really big
09:54I mean
09:57Before your mum, I had this German girlfriend
09:59She was so nice
10:02Really kind
10:04And
10:05Anyway
10:06She left
10:07And when she did
10:09I felt like it was
10:11Everything
10:13But
10:15You know
10:16Time heals
10:17Plenty more fish in the sea
10:21They're cliches for a reason
10:26Thanks
10:32You're on
10:36I have no advice for you
10:55Hello?
10:58Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, what's going on, Mia?
11:00I'm good, I'm glad
11:02I should have done this then
11:04It's very early
11:05No, Dad
11:05It's exactly the right time in my life
11:08Plus, I quit my job
11:09Because I booked a Cambodian retreat
11:11No, you're not going to Cambodia
11:12You've already paid the deposit, Dad
11:14I can't wait to see Connor's face when they're here
11:16Yeah, that will be something
11:22You can get rid of all this
11:29I gave you this for Christmas
11:51Hey, off the couch
12:00Oh, my God, we should be here
12:01Oh, my God, we should be here
12:02There's a strong wind warning for the East Gippsland coast
12:04For the state
12:05Right apart from isolated
12:06Like Charles
12:07About peaceful ranges
12:08And in Gippsland
12:10Mostly in the morning
12:11300
12:12Yeah, I know
12:14He listens and it's like
12:16It never happened
12:17Nothing
12:18He just said
12:20You're not going to Cambodia
12:21I don't know
12:22I don't know
12:27I wish you were here
12:30I miss you too
12:34I know
12:37Come on
12:40No, I'm okay
12:42No
12:44Mum
12:45No
12:46I miss you too
12:48I miss you too
13:01I miss you too
13:05I miss you too
13:06I miss you too
13:07I miss you too
13:07I miss you too
13:07I miss you too
13:14I miss you too
13:15No, I'm not paying that.
13:18Roland!
13:20Over here!
13:22Left! No, right!
13:25Hi!
13:26Come on over!
13:28Oh, um...
13:30Betty, no, no!
13:31Come and join us!
13:35Roland!
13:36Come for a cuppa!
13:38Come round the side!
13:49Jesus!
14:02Go! Go!
14:04All right, yeah.
14:07This one.
14:12Come in!
14:13Don't worry about shoes.
14:15You're just helping me with a party.
14:17A party?
14:18Can you see it?
14:19Yep.
14:20I found this.
14:22Oh, great!
14:23There he is.
14:24I've missed everyone.
14:25Hey, Roland.
14:26Hi.
14:26You coming?
14:26It's for Marty's birthday.
14:28Farty Marty's having a party.
14:30Yes.
14:30Don't be tardy.
14:32Is this all you want?
14:33No, no.
14:33Look, I think there must be another one up there, Jonah.
14:36Do you mind?
14:36No, no dramas.
14:37Great.
14:38It's a beautiful house, isn't it?
14:39Yeah.
14:40Could do with a few less doors.
14:41You're coming, Roland.
14:43To Farty Marty's birthday party.
14:45Oh, God, no.
14:46I mean, nothing personal.
14:47I wouldn't get at my own birthday party.
14:49Right.
14:50Okay.
14:51Come on.
14:51It's his big one, too.
14:53Twelve?
14:54God, I thought he was twenty.
14:57Sorry.
14:57I mean, maybe he just needs a good night's sleep.
15:02That's the one.
15:03Right.
15:04Let's see what we've got.
15:06Oh, how's Mia doing?
15:09Uh, she's a little emotional and unhinged.
15:11Um, I think I made it worse, actually.
15:13She's booked a meditation retreat.
15:15Oh, that's a good idea.
15:16In Cambodia.
15:17She paid a $300 deposit.
15:18Wow.
15:19I'd do that.
15:19Exactly.
15:20I mean, what's the point of meditation?
15:23Doesn't it just make things worse?
15:24You know, when I was Mia's age, I made a bomb out of hairspray cans.
15:28That's comforting.
15:29Yeah, I don't know why I did that.
15:31Maybe you should talk to her.
15:32Happy to.
15:33As long as he didn't say, the first heartbreak is the hardest.
15:36Yeah.
15:36Or plenty more fish.
15:38Or time heals all wounds.
15:39Yeah.
15:40That's a classic one.
15:43Ah, shit.
15:44I gotta go.
15:45Oh, how are the brothers?
15:47Eh, you know.
15:48Yeah, okay.
15:50Alright, I'll see you guys tonight, alright?
15:52Yeah, yeah.
15:52Sorry, I can't stick on my...
15:53No, no, don't worry.
15:54Ronald needs to help me.
15:55Won't you, Roland?
15:56Let's wait. Let's go.
15:57Oh, no.
15:58Um, no, I can't.
15:59I'm off too.
15:59I'll make a banner for tonight.
16:01Oh, great.
16:03Oh, shush.
16:04Marty, we all know it's your birthday.
16:07He wants you to say happy birthday.
16:10Roland, say happy birthday to Marty.
16:14I'm not doing that.
16:16Bye.
16:17Martin, let's go.
16:18Bye.
16:20Come on.
16:21Good boy.
16:25I have half an hour.
16:27I wouldn't want you any longer.
16:31Great.
16:38What did you do?
16:39What do you do for work?
16:41The majority of the time I was in the diplomatic corps.
16:44And, um, Sam, what does she do?
16:47Uh, she's an engineer.
16:50Hmm.
16:51She turns drawings of bridges into actual bridges.
16:54That one in the city's hers.
16:56Let's show off.
16:59Why didn't you go with Emma to New Mexico?
17:04Oh, because of the dog.
17:06No.
17:06Because of, well, me, uh, my job.
17:12Actually, she never asked.
17:14I mean, because she knew what the answer was going to be.
17:17That's our secret to success, you know.
17:19If you don't want to hear the answer, don't ask the question.
17:23Oh, Jesus.
17:27I think I'm making this worse.
17:29Bit like parenting, isn't it?
17:30Hmm.
17:32Do you have kids?
17:35Four.
17:37Three alive.
17:41And six grandchildren.
17:44Oh, very alive.
17:50Oh, no.
17:52Sorry.
17:53Work?
17:54Yes, yeah.
17:55Um, Esther, she's failed her property course.
17:59Oh, one less real estate agent.
18:01Yeah.
18:02Um, Biddy.
18:03Good girl.
18:04Roland.
18:06You were a teen once.
18:08No, I was born middle-aged.
18:09You just have to be there for her while she stuffs everything up.
18:12Even if she acts like she doesn't need you.
18:15What do you think I should do while I'm being there?
18:19Well, cook and listen.
18:21Yeah, I do cook.
18:22Or something she likes.
18:24You know, teens are like crocodiles or beach worms, just drag a chicken across the sand.
18:28Is that a recipe?
18:29Fill the house with smells that she can't resist and she'll come out to eat and hopefully talk.
18:45Oh.
18:46All right.
18:49I'll be okay.
18:50All right.
19:19Excuse me, excuse me, sorry, sorry, I just can't.
19:23Sorry.
19:58Sorry, it was just a little bit.
20:00The spur of the moment.
20:02What was the spur of the moment?
20:04Well, I just thought it might be better if we spoke face-to-face rather than those awful
20:12phone calls.
20:16What do you want to talk about?
20:18Dad, would you be mad if I went and lived in America?
20:21Oh, hang on.
20:22No, we need to discuss this first.
20:27Yeah, I'll just, I'll just.
20:33No, no.
20:35You know, there.
20:37Yeah.
20:38Son.
20:46I'll give her a second.
20:47You can see.
20:50You can see.
20:51You can see.
20:53You can see.
20:53You can see.
20:55You can see.
21:32What picture, buddy? Where do you get this information from?
21:37Hey, how old do I look to you?
21:40Roland, you made it!
21:42Yeah, try and keep me away. I already drank some.
21:44Oh, no, no, no. I can't do the news. It's too depressing.
21:47Aren't you lucky the rest of us do?
21:49No, I get it. It's not like I get the news, but what's the point?
21:53Oh, that's something.
21:54Have you seen the game?
21:56Doesn't Kate kill dogs?
21:57It's native dog food. My partner makes them.
22:00Oh, God, it's the end of civilisation when people start making cakes for dogs.
22:04What good does it do watching the news from your couch, Roland?
22:07How nice to pretend that there's nothing bad in the world.
22:09I am not pretending my friend.
22:10Spreading joy wherever he goes.
22:11Have you ever tried ice bars?
22:13Roland?
22:13No, I haven't. And don't be surprised if I never do, actually.
22:15Ice bars.
22:15Can you help me hang this streamer up? I need a tall guy, yeah.
22:18So, I don't need your help. I was just worried that you were about to bite one of the young
22:21ones.
22:26Emma's back.
22:29Yeah, spur of the moment.
22:31Why are you here then?
22:33I guess I just can't resist dog parties.
22:38No, I froze, to be honest.
22:39And Mia looked so relieved to have her mum back. I just left them alone.
22:45Okay.
22:46I'm not saying it's normal behaviour to leave the house when your wife comes home.
22:49It's a choice.
22:51Yeah.
22:54Her suitcase was empty.
22:56Which...
22:58Which means she's packing more or something, or...
23:01Get away!
23:03Buddy!
23:04Come on!
23:05It started as four weeks, and then it got extended because she's amazing.
23:10And then Carl, whoever he is, decides to leave the place and put her in charge.
23:15And now I'm starting to think she's about to tell me she's never coming back.
23:21And I can't help but wondering, was this the plan all along?
23:28She probably just got over there and realised how great it is.
23:33How fun it is being good at what you do.
23:39Yeah, I probably shouldn't be talking about this with you.
23:45Probably not.
23:49I feel like I'm about to lose everything.
23:59Hey everyone.
24:00Jonah and Pamela here are going to sing.
24:03Oh fuck me.
24:04Stop it.
24:04Fuck.
24:05No.
24:06No.
24:06You are going to love it.
24:08Marty is so smart he knows
24:11When you're sad or when you're mad
24:15Or when it's time to party
24:21He's your best friend, he's my best friend
24:25When I'm with you my life fails
24:29I'm like a dog with two tails
24:34Every dog will have his day
24:38This is your day Marty, say it with me
24:43This is Marty, Marty's birthday
24:48Yay!
24:49Woo!
24:50Happy birthday, Marty!
24:52Hip hip!
24:53Hooray!
24:54Hip hip!
24:55Hooray!
24:56Hip hip!
24:56Hooray!
24:57Hooray!
24:58Stop, put that down.
24:59Happy birthday Marty.
25:00Oh, it's like Lady and the Tramp.
25:02It is.
25:03It's a true cultural experience.
25:06I think I'll never be the same after that.
25:09Oh, look out.
25:10Here comes a man from Australia River.
25:12I know.
25:13It's the Bush Tucker man.
25:14Oh, he's coming here.
25:15Oh, hello.
25:19He's, uh...
25:19Hey, man.
25:20Hi!
25:21Hey.
25:22Steve, this is Roland.
25:24Oh, hey!
25:24Beatty's dad.
25:25Yeah.
25:26Well, no, actually.
25:26I'm human.
25:28Roland loves your hat.
25:30It's a rabbit pill.
25:31Yeah.
25:31Hey.
25:32Oh, really?
25:34Oh, my God.
25:35I'd love to hear it.
25:35No, please, don't.
25:36Just don't do it.
25:37Okay, okay, okay.
25:38Never do I worry, I've got nothing to say.
25:45I'll never get lost on, nothing to deplete.
25:51Never do you get hungry, got no mind to eat.
25:58I'll never get lost on, especially in the night, and you are gone.
26:07I'll never get lost on, as long as a rooster crows.
26:12I'll hear you on the radio, or see you on TV.
26:20I'll never get lost on, especially in the night, and you are gone.
26:28I'll never get lost on.
26:30Here's a small taste of what happens next on Dog Park.
26:33Of course they offered you a job and want to keep you forever.
26:35How did Roland react?
26:36I haven't told Roland yet.
26:37I just hope I don't fuck it up.
26:39You will definitely fuck it up.
26:41You're home early.
26:42I just wanted to check in on Mia, you know, the breakup.
26:45And Roland.
26:46Hey Penny, stand down, Emma's not on trial.
26:49I seriously did not want to leave without saying goodbye to you all.
26:51Take us with you, please.
26:53I love you guys all so much.
26:55It is summer in America.
26:57Northern Hemisphere.
26:57I don't have anything to wear.
26:58I don't have a hat.
26:59I don't have sunnies.
26:59I don't have a bikini.
27:00I don't have anything.
27:01You've got a hat?
27:01Dad, stop being crazy.
27:03Okay, that's my cue.
27:04Well, this is nice.
27:06The three of us out together to yum cha in a new place.
27:09Never been before.
27:10We've been here before.
27:11More than once.
27:12Oh.
27:13Well, still, it's nice.
27:16Was he always like this?
27:18Not always.
27:19We're going to change things.
27:20We're up to you guys.
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