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Short filmTranscript
00:00:12This virus kills just Homelander, or every suit?
00:00:14Don't know, but we'll have a laugh finding out, won't we?
00:00:16But if Homelander got his hands on some V-1, then theoretically he'd be like Soldier Boy.
00:00:20Immune to the virus, maybe even immortal.
00:00:22I want our entire pharma division working on nothing but recreating the V-1 formula.
00:00:28Vought destroyed the original formula, that could take years.
00:00:31Do you have V-1?
00:00:32I don't, but Bombside does.
00:00:34That piece of shit's still alive.
00:00:36Clara Vought's name came up.
00:00:37I guess we're related in more ways than one.
00:00:39Where is she?
00:00:40Dead.
00:00:40Suicide.
00:00:41Bullshit.
00:00:42Homelander is an open baby book, but Soldier Boy is tricky.
00:00:45I need you to read his mind.
00:00:51You send an eel to ass-murder Adam Bork?
00:00:53This is gonna happen now.
00:00:54You fucking do whatever I say, whenever I say it.
00:00:57You know who this is?
00:00:58This is a legend.
00:00:59I was balls deep in Golden Geisha, and Marlon Brando was apparently balls deep in me.
00:01:05I was visited by an angel, and she foretold my destiny.
00:01:09And what is it?
00:01:10I'm the savior of the world.
00:01:34I'm the savior of the world.
00:01:39The room was completely black.
00:01:43I hugged her and she hugged back.
00:01:46Thanks for visiting VMC Theatres, where it's always a super day for the movies.
00:01:54Hey!
00:01:55I see you're putting Fanta in the water cup, you little bastard.
00:01:58You gotta pay for that.
00:02:00Dude, you were supposed to refill the popcorn machine an hour ago.
00:02:04I was just gonna do it.
00:02:07Relax.
00:02:10Ooh.
00:02:12You know what the smell reminds me of?
00:02:15Miriam Lebowitz.
00:02:17I met her at a B'nai B'rith Purim carnival, and I shoved my grager up her hamantashen,
00:02:23if you catch my drift.
00:02:26We fucked.
00:02:27Just don't forget to clean out the nacho cheese spigot.
00:02:30Yes, boss.
00:02:37Hey, thanks for visiting VMC Theatres, where it's always a super day for the movies.
00:02:41Can I interest you in one of our new deep popcorn buckets?
00:02:46Chet Vanderbilt, huh?
00:02:48Yes.
00:02:49It's my totally legit and believable real name.
00:02:52You're a hard man to find.
00:02:54Well, can you blame me?
00:02:57Vought would bury me under all the fucking dirt that I got on them.
00:03:00So maybe you don't get a job at a vault movie theater?
00:03:04What?
00:03:05And leave show business?
00:03:08Heh.
00:03:09We need to talk.
00:03:13Tanner!
00:03:14You're going on a break.
00:03:17We come to VMC Theatres to laugh, to cry,
00:03:21to see our biggest heroes on the biggest screens.
00:03:25And to get a complimentary deep popcorn bucket with every large combo meal.
00:03:30Because we need that.
00:03:32Every dang one of us.
00:03:34The indescribable feeling we get when the lights go down and we go someplace we ain't never been before.
00:03:40In here.
00:03:41We're not just-
00:03:42We're looking for one of your old bump buddies.
00:03:44Bombsite.
00:03:46I wish I could help.
00:03:48Our noses haven't crossed in years.
00:03:49Heard he got clean.
00:03:50Still.
00:03:52You gotta be able to get a message to him.
00:03:54Nah.
00:03:55Even if I could.
00:03:55Which I can't.
00:03:57He-
00:03:58He's not a shitbag bear you wanna poke.
00:04:01If we don't get to him first,
00:04:04Homelander's gonna get to V1 that we're pretty sure bombsite's holding.
00:04:08V1.
00:04:08We destroyed all those doses.
00:04:13Are you shitting me?
00:04:17What in Udnick told Homelander about V1?
00:04:19Doesn't matter.
00:04:20Point is, Homelander finds it, it's game fucking over.
00:04:24Ah, Marvin.
00:04:25A year ago, I-I had a good thing going.
00:04:28My penthouse was paid off.
00:04:30I got the best table of the lanes on two minutes notice.
00:04:33And then Homelander starts his fucking purge.
00:04:36My accounts are frozen.
00:04:37I'm living off day old noir nuggets out of the freezer here.
00:04:40You getting to a point?
00:04:41Yeah, my point is, I'm full of shit sandwich.
00:04:44Thank you very much.
00:04:48Let me make this clear.
00:04:50You either help us, or I cut your fucking balls off.
00:04:53You-you-you-you sound like butcher now.
00:04:55You know that?
00:04:55It's-it's not a great look for you, kid.
00:05:01Having said that, I-I do still need my balls for stuff.
00:05:08Alright.
00:05:10Fuck it.
00:05:12I guess we'll poke the shitbag bear.
00:05:15I guess we'll poke the shitbag bear.
00:05:24Hopefully the 35th try is the charm.
00:05:28Hmm.
00:05:44Hey, you wanna see me, boss?
00:05:47Is he supposed to be bleeding out of his ass like that?
00:05:50Ideally, no.
00:05:52Yo, you guys seen Firecracker?
00:05:54She was gonna come on the pod.
00:05:57Firecracker has moved on to a better place.
00:06:01Orlando?
00:06:04Oh.
00:06:05Oh, sh-shit.
00:06:07Oh no.
00:06:08Why?
00:06:08What happened?
00:06:09We just don't have any more room in the boat for, uh, non-believers.
00:06:15I'm on the boat.
00:06:15I like boats.
00:06:17Mean boats are like that.
00:06:18Sir, I-I believe in you, sir.
00:06:21I-
00:06:22Which is why we have an important job for you.
00:06:25Some protestors have blocked a new Vought petroleum pipeline in the Bering Sea.
00:06:30Right.
00:06:30The one in Africa.
00:06:31Just off the coast of Alaska.
00:06:33Anyway, when we announce Homelander as our lord and savior,
00:06:37the Saudis are gonna heal some big feelings.
00:06:41OPEC will completely cut off the supply of oil to the United States.
00:06:44We need that pipeline fully operational and those protestors gone.
00:06:49Gone.
00:06:49I got you.
00:06:51No.
00:06:52Uh, you will shoot a PSA.
00:06:54Announcing the pipeline is safe and fish love it.
00:06:57You know, it's just that fish, they don't love pipelines.
00:07:01In fact, they kinda fuckin' hate them.
00:07:03Thought you were on the boat.
00:07:06So what's more important, Homelander or some fuckin' grouper?
00:07:13Homelander, Homelander, of course.
00:07:15Yeah.
00:07:15I'm on it.
00:07:24I can't seem to replicate the V1 formula.
00:07:28I'm sorry.
00:07:31There's no way Frederick Vought is smarter than you.
00:07:36Keep swingin'.
00:07:37You'll get there.
00:07:51Once there was a revolutionary who roamed the hood.
00:07:55Challenged the man.
00:07:56They called him a loked-out troublemaker.
00:07:59But he wasn't making trouble.
00:08:01He was teaching love.
00:08:02For America.
00:08:03Come home.
00:08:04As our very own American prophet, Homelander, delivers his weekly sermon.
00:08:08Streaming live every Sunday.
00:08:11Come home.
00:08:12We can't do this.
00:08:14We can't do this.
00:08:14Just...
00:08:14Just fuckin'...
00:08:17No.
00:08:18I told you, Huey.
00:08:19Soon as a German's ready, we go.
00:08:21And according to Frenchie, it's ready.
00:08:22Yes.
00:08:23I beg you.
00:08:27You got a way in?
00:08:28I snuck in and out of that church more times than I can count as a teenager.
00:08:32Time is set.
00:08:3324 hours.
00:08:36Right.
00:08:38Good.
00:08:39Stick it somewhere close to the altar.
00:08:42Nice and quiet light.
00:08:44Then, right in the middle of Homelander's lead us in the temptation, deliver us from evil bollocks.
00:08:49It'll spray fresh pine sand and a big dose of kill juice.
00:08:53Cunt drops dead forever and ever.
00:08:55Amen.
00:08:56You don't have to enjoy it so much.
00:08:59Though I beg to differ.
00:09:01I am just asking you to wait for a little bit longer.
00:09:04We can still get the V1.
00:09:05Yeah, and so can he.
00:09:07That's a risk we can't take.
00:09:08We're out of time, mate.
00:09:11Right?
00:09:15Surprise, surprise.
00:09:17Butcher!
00:09:18I've had anal warts I've been more excited to see.
00:09:21Ah, so your head's still up your own ass, is it?
00:09:23Let me ask you.
00:09:24Did you pay extra for this dead raccoon smell?
00:09:27Closest hideout we had to you.
00:09:29Starlight.
00:09:30Wow.
00:09:31What a pleasure indeed.
00:09:34You remind me of a young Ursula Andress.
00:09:37Timeless beauty.
00:09:39She pissed on me once.
00:09:41Yeah.
00:09:41He's a charmer.
00:09:42Um, but you can help us find Bombsite.
00:09:44Yeah, well, see, that's, okay, that's, that's the trick.
00:09:47Uh, if Bombsite doesn't want to be found, you can't, you can't find them.
00:09:51So what you got, you got to go sideways.
00:09:53You got to go through his lady.
00:09:55Golden Geisha.
00:09:55Golden Geisha?
00:09:56That name doesn't sound racist at all.
00:09:58Golden Geisha had a very steamy fuck scene with Erica Strada in Operation Orient.
00:10:03Very progressive for the day.
00:10:05But hey, if anybody can get a message to Bombsite, yeah, Goldie can.
00:10:09And where can we find the old slag?
00:10:11Well, Goldie's had some health issues lately.
00:10:13She moved into the villages.
00:10:15Vaught Villages.
00:10:15Mm-hmm.
00:10:17It's a retirement home for Supes.
00:10:19If it's Vaught, then they have tight security that you can get in and keep a low profile.
00:10:22Does the Pope shit in the woods?
00:10:24I want to come.
00:10:25Can I come?
00:10:25Oh, yeah.
00:10:26It'll be a treat for you.
00:10:27See what real stars look like.
00:10:28All right.
00:10:29You two sought the church.
00:10:30We'll have a word of Geisha.
00:10:32See if we can find that V1 before the Cape Cunt.
00:10:35Happy Gov?
00:10:36Um...
00:10:36Yep.
00:10:36He's happy.
00:10:37All right.
00:10:38Let's get cracking.
00:10:42Hey.
00:10:42Guys.
00:10:44I need you to promise me that we will find that V1.
00:10:49Petit TV.
00:10:50I promise you.
00:11:01We had a deal.
00:11:03One, I was drunk.
00:11:04Two, I never agreed to shit.
00:11:06She did.
00:11:08Reading Homelander or Soldier Boy's minds?
00:11:10If I wanted to commit suicide, I'd asphyxiate myself.
00:11:13At least then I'd get off first.
00:11:14And oh, yeah.
00:11:15There's the tiny little detail of you trying to bring on the fucking apocalypse.
00:11:18I offered you a spot in my bunker.
00:11:21I'm VP.
00:11:22Do you know how bad it would look if the world ended on my watch?
00:11:26I need to know if you're in.
00:11:28Or if I need to move to plan B.
00:11:30How about plan go fuck yourself?
00:11:31Mm.
00:11:33Okay.
00:11:34Mm.
00:11:34People are so predictable.
00:11:37Plan B it is.
00:11:53What are you doing?
00:11:54What are you doing?
00:11:58What the fuck?
00:12:00What did you do?
00:12:01Chloroform.
00:12:02It's quiet.
00:12:03What?
00:12:04Madam Vice President, is everything all right in there?
00:12:07Apocalypse or no?
00:12:08I need your help.
00:12:10Hanlander cannot become immortal, so send the agents away.
00:12:13Madam Vice President.
00:12:14Uh, I'm fine.
00:12:15I'm fine.
00:12:17I just stubbed my toe.
00:12:18Walking around as people do.
00:12:21You need assistance?
00:12:22No.
00:12:23Nope.
00:12:23I am all good.
00:12:24So just stand down and stand by.
00:12:27Confirmation code.
00:12:28Ginger snap.
00:12:34You don't think they could tell?
00:12:35No.
00:12:35No, you did good.
00:12:36Okay.
00:12:37All you have to do now is be in the room and read Soldier Boy's mind.
00:12:44I'll take care of the rest.
00:12:46Fuck.
00:12:48I don't care how they did things on the reservation.
00:12:51You're in the big city now.
00:12:53Here, I'm the Chief.
00:12:55These smell smoke.
00:12:56That's crazy.
00:12:57I don't smell anything.
00:12:58Sir!
00:12:59There's a fire at the old mill!
00:13:01You know what?
00:13:02You're gonna do all right here, Chief.
00:13:05Great spirits say, let's get rolling.
00:13:19What does that smell?
00:13:21It's like hand sanitizer and lasagna?
00:13:23That's what death smells like.
00:13:26See the blonde over there?
00:13:27I fucked her.
00:13:28In 74.
00:13:30Got me in the Mile High Club.
00:13:32No plane.
00:13:33How is this low profile?
00:13:34I have fucked or been fucked by 80% of these people.
00:13:37There is not a pair of loose lips in the bunch.
00:13:40Not in the faces anyway.
00:13:42But yeah, listen.
00:13:43You know me.
00:13:44I don't like to kiss and tell.
00:13:49Oh, G-49.
00:13:51G-49.
00:13:52Son of a whore.
00:13:54Need bees.
00:13:56Goldie.
00:13:57Look at you.
00:13:58Just as beautiful as that triple banger we had in Marsha Mason's triple banger.
00:14:03There aren't enough rubbers on earth for me to fuck you again.
00:14:07Just here to talk.
00:14:08She with you?
00:14:10Kimiko, hi.
00:14:11Wow, uh, I'm a fan.
00:14:12Big fan.
00:14:14Huge fan.
00:14:15Oh, is he had yellow fever?
00:14:17Baby, I got all kinds of fever.
00:14:19I'm the united colors of fever.
00:14:20I don't wanna fuck him.
00:14:21He is old and disgusting.
00:14:23Okay, you know I can hear you when you say that, right?
00:14:25What the fuck do you want?
00:14:27We need to talk to Bombsite.
00:14:29Get out.
00:14:30Goldie, come on.
00:14:31Don't Goldie me.
00:14:33You come in here and you bring him up.
00:14:35Well, listen.
00:14:36There was a time you and Bombsite were tighter than Woody and Mia before Sunyi.
00:14:41You must have a number, at least.
00:14:43Well, I don't.
00:14:44I haven't seen him in years.
00:14:45So kindly fuck off.
00:14:47I have a game to win.
00:14:48They bothering you, Goldie?
00:14:49No, we're not bothering anybody.
00:14:52Yes, they really are.
00:14:53We wouldn't be asking if it wasn't important.
00:14:56Okay, alright.
00:14:57Take it easy there, hot flash.
00:15:00So, Geisha told me to eat her golden ass.
00:15:02I dined at that establishment back in 78 and the service was great.
00:15:08They all batch nearly 80 and you can't make a talk.
00:15:10We were surrounded.
00:15:11They might be old, but they still have powers.
00:15:15I didn't want to hurt a bunch of old people.
00:15:17Well, that's just a thing, isn't it?
00:15:19They aren't people, are they?
00:15:24Look, if she won't get on board, we wait till she's alone.
00:15:28Yeah, asleep in a room, nip in, grab her, chug her in a van.
00:15:31Take her someplace quiet, make Bombsite come to us.
00:15:34No, no, no, no, no, absolutely not.
00:15:36You lay your finger on Goldie, Bombsite's never gonna help you.
00:15:39Oh, bollocks. As soon as he twigs, she's in trouble.
00:15:42You'll come run.
00:15:42Those are my friends in there, and I know you, Butcher.
00:15:45There's no way this doesn't end bloody.
00:15:47A week from now, all them geysers...
00:15:51be pushing daisies anyway.
00:15:54The fuck does that mean?
00:15:56What is your... Marvin?
00:15:58Talk some sense into him, would you?
00:15:59Butcher's the only one making any sense right now.
00:16:02What has happened to you, kid?
00:16:04It's like you've gone crazy.
00:16:06The whole world's gone crazy.
00:16:07I'm just catching up.
00:16:09Go fuck yourself.
00:16:11Go back to butter and popcorn.
00:16:13Better than turning into whatever the fuck you're turning into.
00:16:17Pathetic.
00:16:21Great news, my fellow eco-warriors.
00:16:24Vaat Petroleum has an all-new offshore pipeline in Alaska.
00:16:27It will bring patriotic energy independence to our proud nation.
00:16:31Isn't oil bad for the environment?
00:16:34No! Oil is all-natural and organic.
00:16:36It comes from the Earth.
00:16:38And if we don't use it, then all those dinosaurs will have died for nothing.
00:16:43And my coral friends just can't wait to build their reefs on the new pipeline.
00:16:47Which will provide low-income housing for our most vulnerable fish communities.
00:16:51And most importantly, I swam down there and inspected the pipeline personally.
00:16:55It's completely safe.
00:16:57And you have the deeps green guarantee on that one.
00:17:08Okay.
00:17:11Good to go.
00:17:12Hey, do you think we could wait here for a few minutes?
00:17:18Okay, so that one?
00:17:19Mm-hmm.
00:17:20It's like a rabbit, but it's got way too many feet.
00:17:22Really?
00:17:23See a frog eating a dick.
00:17:25This is definitely in my top five.
00:17:29Top five what?
00:17:32Things to do with you.
00:17:34You're saying that like this is the last time we're gonna get to do this.
00:17:41Hey, listen to me.
00:17:43The guys are gonna find bombsite.
00:17:45They'll get to be one.
00:17:46You're not dying.
00:17:48We will have plenty of time to look for filthy shapes in the clouds.
00:17:53God, I don't know where it comes from.
00:17:57This unshakable hope.
00:18:02Whenever I get upset as a kid, which was a lot,
00:18:07my dad would always say,
00:18:10you know, son, life is 10% what happens to you
00:18:13and 90% how you react.
00:18:16And that was infuriating.
00:18:18But then I spent a year in an internment camp,
00:18:22and I had no control over anything.
00:18:24I just lay there at night just so fucking angry,
00:18:31hearing my dad's voice in my head.
00:18:35But then I finally understood what he meant.
00:18:38Because the only thing I had left was hope.
00:18:44And it is really fucking hard to hang on to, but I...
00:18:50I'm trying.
00:18:53I think...
00:18:55You might be low-key, the strongest person I know.
00:18:59I prefer high-key.
00:19:01But thank you.
00:19:07Look, it's... it's Big Bird eating a dick.
00:19:12You see an unsettling amount of dicks up there, I'm just saying.
00:19:15Mm-hmm.
00:19:18Why am I at a call sheet for some...
00:19:20church bullshit tomorrow?
00:19:22Someone has to cover for Firecracker.
00:19:24Unless you're too busy helping Homelander find V1.
00:19:30We're nowhere on the V1.
00:19:32Huh. Really?
00:19:34Nothing but dead ends.
00:19:35Well, keep me posted.
00:19:37Makeup is gonna need you in the chair, 6am.
00:19:40They can feather my nut hair.
00:19:42I'm busy tomorrow.
00:19:50Holy fuck.
00:19:51The inside of his head.
00:19:52That was terrifying.
00:19:54I'm not kidding, I think I just shit Ashley's pants.
00:19:56They have a lead on V1?
00:19:58Yes.
00:19:58Some guy named Bombsite, who Soldier Boy hates.
00:20:01Homelander has all of crime analytics looking for him,
00:20:03with orders not to tell you.
00:20:05Where's Soldier Boy's head in all this?
00:20:06You were right.
00:20:07He's thinking about helping Homelander.
00:20:09Like, he's kind of proud of him.
00:20:11But he doesn't want him to know that he's proud of him.
00:20:15So what's the plan?
00:20:16Don't worry.
00:20:16Saw this coming a mile away.
00:20:19It's handled.
00:20:22By the morning, V1 will be toast.
00:20:24Where are you going?
00:20:26Gotta cut my tracking chip out.
00:20:28Never come in here again.
00:20:30It's time for phase 3.
00:20:32Wait, but what should I...
00:20:33Are you really just leaving me here?
00:20:40Fuck.
00:20:44What's got you looking blue, little lady?
00:20:46Gee, Bombsite.
00:20:47It's just...
00:20:48Henry's noticed that I've put on a few pounds.
00:20:51Getting hefty, are ya?
00:20:52You must not be using Vought brand weight control tablets.
00:20:56Just take one with breakfast.
00:20:58Or better yet, instead of breakfast.
00:21:00Our patented methamphetamine formula will melt away that ugly belly fat.
00:21:06And give you pepiness death.
00:21:07Thanks, Bombsite.
00:21:09Henry will be thrilled.
00:21:11You said he will.
00:21:13Fuck!
00:21:16Shit!
00:21:18Hey, Goldie.
00:21:20Night-night.
00:21:25Fuck!
00:21:27Yeah.
00:21:29Yeah, dog.
00:21:30Ugh!
00:21:31Come on!
00:21:33I'm here.
00:21:35Ugh.
00:21:37You and the hippie.
00:21:49Ugh!
00:22:00Not so fast, white man
00:22:12This one's for you, eh?
00:22:13Fuck you
00:22:21Fuck you
00:22:42Fuck you
00:22:46No, you'll kill him!
00:23:02What is taking you so long?
00:23:19You sure this is the right address?
00:23:22I'm sure.
00:23:24Well, there's no sight of bombsite.
00:23:26Or fucking anyone.
00:23:29Maybe Crime Analytics got a bad tip.
00:23:41Come on, rub it.
00:23:42Rub it with your stump.
00:23:43Ah, right in.
00:23:46Oh!
00:23:47Oh!
00:23:48Oh!
00:23:54What the fuck was that?
00:23:56I can't explain.
00:23:57That was Clara.
00:23:58You told me she killed herself.
00:24:00She did, after Ryan did that to her.
00:24:03It's his fault.
00:24:03So then what, you locked her in your apartment
00:24:05like some kind of amputee fuck doll
00:24:07and filmed her for kicks?
00:24:09No, no, no!
00:24:10It wasn't like that.
00:24:11I did everything I could to keep her alive,
00:24:15to make her happy.
00:24:16Oh!
00:24:21Just listen to me, okay?
00:24:23It wasn't all like that.
00:24:29I couldn't let her go.
00:24:32I didn't know how.
00:24:40I didn't know how.
00:25:00Just, this has been plen-
00:25:03Fuckin' Sage.
00:25:05It's Sage.
00:25:07You see?
00:25:08She's trying to screw with us.
00:25:10Oh, come on.
00:25:11I can't find the B1 without you.
00:25:13I do.
00:25:23Good.
00:25:26You don't deserve to live forever.
00:25:44The security cameras are looped.
00:25:56Who are they?
00:25:58It's almost every psychic in the country.
00:26:00What the fuck does Homelander want with all of them?
00:26:25Oh my God.
00:26:26It's firecracker.
00:26:33Jesus.
00:26:34I mean, it had to be a Homelander, right?
00:26:39You'd think I'd feel relieved, but...
00:26:43I just feel sad. I mean, she's a human being.
00:26:47Maybe that's why Homelander killed her.
00:26:53A fucking fax machine?
00:26:55Yeah, it's the last of the numbers she had for him.
00:26:58Oi!
00:26:59Twenty-three fucking numbers you had for bombsite,
00:27:02and they're all fucking shite.
00:27:03Do you know how to delete them?
00:27:06I was telling you the truth.
00:27:08I have no idea where a bombsite is or how to reach him,
00:27:11so just let me go.
00:27:12Camigo.
00:27:13Keep an eyeing.
00:27:21What the fuck do we do there?
00:27:23Fetch her supplies and put her screws to her.
00:27:26She knows more than she's letting on.
00:27:29Oh, she doesn't.
00:27:31I'm sorry, but she's not that good of an actress.
00:27:34He's right.
00:27:36Oh, I know.
00:27:37Billing switches sides in the final hour.
00:27:41What a twist.
00:27:42Shock that never happens.
00:27:44But, unclench those assholes, fellas.
00:27:46I'm here to help.
00:27:47I'm a free agent now.
00:27:48Came alone.
00:27:49You can shoot me in the heart whenever you like.
00:27:51That's a good idea.
00:27:53That would go against our mutual interests.
00:27:57Which is?
00:27:58Stopping a petulant laser-eyed narcissist from also becoming immortal.
00:28:03I want him dead.
00:28:04As much as you do.
00:28:06You spent the last couple of years building Homelander up,
00:28:08and now you want to tear him down?
00:28:10Why the fuck should we trust you?
00:28:11You can't trust me.
00:28:13Honestly, you shouldn't.
00:28:14But you will.
00:28:15And why would we do that?
00:28:16I know Campbell and Starlight are headed to plant your little virus.
00:28:21You can trace anyone.
00:28:22You know what to look for.
00:28:23And you baboons, you leave a trail of banana peels wherever you go.
00:28:27I could have stopped you.
00:28:28I could have killed you.
00:28:30But I didn't.
00:28:32That virus is gonna wipe out the fucking lot of you.
00:28:36And you don't strike me as a suicide type.
00:28:40I will be in my nice quiet bunker reading Wittgenstein in peace.
00:28:44Well that is, unless that bleached blonde baby gets his hands on V1 and survives.
00:28:51You must have realized by now Granny out there has no clue how to contact bombsite.
00:28:56But, I do.
00:28:59And I can get him here.
00:29:01So, let me help.
00:29:08Earlier today there was a catastrophic failure of a Vought petroleum pipeline
00:29:12resulting in a significant amount of crude oil spilling into the Bering Sea.
00:29:17Sorry, I'm just shaking off a migraine.
00:29:19But your mind is still an open book, Chad.
00:29:21Yes, the spill was larger than Deepwater Horizon.
00:29:24Much larger.
00:29:25Nope, Jimmy. We don't know when the rupture will be sealed.
00:29:28I'm hearing weeks at least.
00:29:29And yes, this pipeline was Deep's baby.
00:29:32Rest assured he's got the situation completely under control.
00:29:34I can't breathe. I can't breathe.
00:29:37I can't breathe.
00:29:45Just breathe.
00:29:46I can't breathe.
00:29:48Jeremy!
00:29:48No, no.
00:29:49No, no.
00:29:52No. He's not breathing.
00:29:58Did you hear me?
00:30:02Can you hear me?
00:30:04We know, Kevin.
00:30:06We know it was you.
00:30:26Why are you so certain bombsite will come here?
00:30:29If I sent you a picture of Kimiko tied up, you'd hop here.
00:30:33As fast as your froggy little legs could take you.
00:30:36Park Geisha over there and keep an eye on her.
00:31:00I wanted to say, I'm very sorry about this.
00:31:07I watched every episode of Undercover Geisha when I was a kid.
00:31:10I loved it.
00:31:12Even the parts that were ridiculous, racist stereotypes.
00:31:16It meant so much to see someone who looked like me on TV.
00:31:22We watched with Japanese subtitles.
00:31:24It's how I learned English.
00:31:26If you're such a big fan, let me go.
00:31:29Usually, but we cannot.
00:31:32Not until we get the V1 that bombsite possesses.
00:31:35Wait, that's what you're after.
00:31:37V1?
00:31:42What's so funny?
00:31:44I'll tell bombsite to just give it to you.
00:31:46I sure as hell don't want it.
00:31:51He stole the V1 for you.
00:31:54So you two could be together forever.
00:32:02But you didn't take it.
00:32:04I said no.
00:32:07Which is why he left.
00:32:10I guess for him,
00:32:12watching me get old was too painful.
00:32:17I'm sorry.
00:32:18I do not understand.
00:32:19Why won't you take it?
00:32:22To live forever.
00:32:25Maybe torture.
00:32:30We're both so young, you wouldn't understand.
00:32:33Maybe I would.
00:32:40Summer is only beautiful.
00:32:43When you know winter's coming.
00:32:59Is this how you feel?
00:33:07Honey and I talked about it.
00:33:11We'd have to...
00:33:27Neither of us wants to die, but...
00:33:31I don't want to be vampires, either.
00:33:38I'm sorry.
00:33:40I hadn't, uh...
00:33:42It's okay.
00:33:43We're both willing to do it anyway.
00:33:47For you.
00:34:06Jesus Christ.
00:34:07Yep.
00:34:08That's pretty much what he was going for.
00:34:14Do I even need to say be careful?
00:34:17It's okay.
00:34:17It won't go off until the timer does.
00:34:20I think.
00:34:23Okay.
00:34:41Starlight.
00:34:43I was wondering who befouled the security cameras.
00:34:47Hi, Aaron.
00:34:48It's been a while.
00:34:50The Lord is working in his most mysterious ways this evening.
00:34:54I didn't think I would ever see you in a house of worship again.
00:34:58Yeah, well, I didn't think I would ever see you meet riding Homelander so hard, but I guess we're both
00:35:03just full of surprises, aren't we?
00:35:05Take it you're not here to repent.
00:35:06No.
00:35:07I'm here to talk sense into an old friend.
00:35:11You did that for me, do you remember?
00:35:13When, um, Alex and I were going to get those matching tattoos and you talked us out of it.
00:35:17Tramp stamp crucifix is a bit of a mixed message, especially on a shit-faced 15-year-old, but if
00:35:23memory serves, you weren't so grateful at the time.
00:35:27Yeah, you know, it's hard to hear that you're making a mistake you could regret for the rest of your
00:35:31life.
00:35:34But, I, God, I wanted your approval so badly back then.
00:35:40You know, you were like a cool older brother that I never had, and you weren't cynical like Ezekiel.
00:35:51You, you believed.
00:35:55I still do.
00:35:57In Homelander?
00:35:59Come on, Aaron.
00:36:01You know, I started preaching when I was nine years old at Moldy Tent in Greenwood, and people would come
00:36:09and beg me to pray for them, heal their illness, look after their children, get them a job.
00:36:19And I raised my hands in prayer for each of them.
00:36:24Those prayers went unanswered.
00:36:28Nobody was listening.
00:36:31God checked out.
00:36:33Homelander is standing in front of us.
00:36:35He's not asking for blind faith.
00:36:38And when I talk, when I talk, he listens.
00:36:41God is supposed to be selfless.
00:36:43Okay, Homelander?
00:36:45Homelander doesn't care about anyone or anything outside of himself.
00:36:48May be imperfect, but he, he brought this church up out of ruin.
00:36:52He fights back against the secular forces corrupting this nation.
00:36:55He killed Firecracker, and you're delusional if you think he won't turn on you.
00:36:59Firecracker was a non-believer.
00:37:00She brought his wrath upon herself.
00:37:03I am not afraid to stand before Homelander's judgment.
00:37:12But you didn't sneak in here to argue about dogma, did you?
00:37:18Oh, Annie, I am sorry.
00:37:22I really did like you.
00:37:23I really did like you.
00:37:53I open it.
00:37:54You're dead in 30 seconds.
00:38:01So is Annie.
00:38:03No.
00:38:06She already took the antidote.
00:38:10You didn't go to all this trouble just to waste that on me?
00:38:13No.
00:38:15But I will.
00:38:19Unless you let her go.
00:38:31Don't be a stranger, Annie.
00:38:32Room for everyone in our flock.
00:38:42Authorities are calling it the worst environmental disaster in U.S. history.
00:38:46An estimated 2.5 million gallons of crude oil have already...
00:38:50Plenty of fish in the sea, bro.
00:38:54But most of them are fucking dead.
00:38:59You think official Holocaust is funny, bro?
00:39:02Uh, yeah.
00:39:03Payback's a bitch, bitch.
00:39:07What's that supposed to mean?
00:39:08It means I flew up to Alaska, swam down in your dumb pipeline and punched a hole in it.
00:39:13It wasn't even that hard.
00:39:15That shit is really poorly built.
00:39:17What?
00:39:19Why?
00:39:20You killed Adam Bork, so I killed a bunch of porpoises or whatever.
00:39:25Now we're even, Steven.
00:39:28I killed...
00:39:29I killed one...
00:39:32I killed one dude.
00:39:33You killed 1.4 billion fish, motherfucker!
00:39:36One human being who was a national treasure, asshole.
00:39:39Not just some stupid fish.
00:39:44They were my friends.
00:39:48Sucks to suck.
00:39:50Dipshit.
00:39:51Stop, loser!
00:39:54So let's record this stupid fucking thing.
00:40:21You were never my bro.
00:40:23Bro.
00:40:47Oh, God.
00:40:51No.
00:40:57Oh, God.
00:41:08Hey, some kid shit on the floor in the men's room.
00:41:11Again.
00:41:13Terrific.
00:41:28Bubbler, you might not remember, but we actually met back in the day.
00:41:33You must have been yay high, but you know what?
00:41:34I saw greatness in you, even then.
00:41:38I don't remember that yet.
00:41:41I did.
00:41:42Um.
00:41:45We needed to talk in private.
00:41:47Okay.
00:41:49I take it you saw the security footage?
00:41:52From the old folks home?
00:41:54And you probably got the very reasonable impression that I'm somehow working with Butcher and them.
00:42:01But honestly, fuck those guys.
00:42:04Fuck them.
00:42:05I'm on you.
00:42:06I'm on team you, big guy.
00:42:07And I'll gladly tell you anything you want to know.
00:42:17Great.
00:42:19That's great.
00:42:28Tell me something.
00:42:29Hmm?
00:42:30You got all this figured out, but you still end up trapped in a bunker eating canned tuna and Chef
00:42:34Boyardee?
00:42:35Oh, corn traps, please.
00:42:37And, uh, solitude?
00:42:40It's all I ever wanted.
00:42:42Since way before Homelander knocked on my door.
00:42:46It's gonna be magnificent.
00:42:48You're fucking crazier than I thought.
00:42:50And I thought you were fucking crazy.
00:42:52Sorry.
00:42:52Are you not working day and night to drop a genocidal virus?
00:42:56Yeah, but I ain't gotta enjoy it.
00:42:58I just gotta do it.
00:42:59Don't pretend you're better than me.
00:43:02Enjoy it.
00:43:03Don't enjoy it.
00:43:04Still mass murder.
00:43:07At least I'm honest about it.
00:43:28Right on, kid.
00:43:42Hey, bum sight.
00:43:45Glad you could pop in.
00:43:46Get the fuck away from her.
00:43:47You're pretty spry for a hundred years old.
00:43:50When you blow your load, is it just a puff of dust?
00:43:52You motherfuckers.
00:43:53I'm gonna rip every one of you to pieces.
00:43:56Try it.
00:43:59And you'll be wiping your better ass, better half off your fucking face.
00:44:06Now, how's about we just cool our jets,
00:44:10and you and I have a little chinwag like proper gentlemen?
00:44:27No one here.
00:44:28I grant you, it looks like that, yeah, but...
00:44:30This is their hideout,
00:44:32so I'm sure there's plenty of clues all over here.
00:44:35Here you go.
00:44:37No, no, well, this is nothing.
00:44:39But...
00:44:40No, they have to have left something behind.
00:44:42You know?
00:44:42No.
00:44:49It's not nothing.
00:44:51It's a Taco Bell receipt.
00:44:53No.
00:44:54This is sage.
00:44:55Taunting me.
00:44:56Okay.
00:45:07This makes no sense.
00:45:09This makes no sense.
00:45:12This makes no sense.
00:45:16You said I would get the V1.
00:45:19Said I'd be a god.
00:45:21Did I do something wrong?
00:45:22Did I fail you?
00:45:24I did everything you asked me to.
00:45:26I gave my boy up.
00:45:29Please, don't leave me here to just rot.
00:45:31Don't just...
00:45:32Let me become nothing like him.
00:45:38Please.
00:45:41I've got to assume...
00:45:44The only reason you're saying all this stuff is you're...
00:45:49You're not going to let me walk out of here alive, are you?
00:45:53Yeah.
00:45:55Okay.
00:45:57Yeah.
00:46:02I...look.
00:46:03Kid.
00:46:05I...I...I...I've been around a long time, and I...
00:46:10This is just how it goes.
00:46:13You know all those old soups at the home?
00:46:15Every one of them had their moment in the sun, and they all thought it was going to go on
00:46:19forever.
00:46:20And every one of them got shoved out in the end.
00:46:25They all got shoved out.
00:46:27All of them.
00:46:29And I know what I'm talking about.
00:46:33I did the shoving.
00:46:36I mean, look at Goldie.
00:46:38One minute, she's on the set of Undercover Geisha, getting finger popped by Lorenzo Lamas.
00:46:44And next, she's shilling for Vought Alert necklaces and Activia poop yogurt.
00:46:50Geisha sells Vought Alert necklaces?
00:46:52Guess you don't watch your own news channel.
00:46:55Point is, look, there comes a day...
00:46:58I got shoved out, too.
00:47:00Never saw it coming.
00:47:01Did not see that coming, and I fought it like hell.
00:47:04But in the end...
00:47:06Bupkis.
00:47:09There's a natural order to things.
00:47:12And the more you fight the inevitable...
00:47:16The more the inevitable just...
00:47:18Cunt-punts you.
00:47:24Yep.
00:47:30You're not scared of me.
00:47:33No, I'm not scared of you.
00:47:35I...
00:47:36I feel for you, kid.
00:47:38I do.
00:47:41I mean, you're a fucking whack job.
00:47:44But, you know, that's talent.
00:47:47So...
00:47:49No surprise there.
00:47:54So, there you go.
00:47:57Do what you gotta do.
00:48:06You can go.
00:48:10I can go.
00:48:11Leave.
00:48:12No words.
00:48:12Just go.
00:48:13Now.
00:48:14Go.
00:48:15Now.
00:48:15Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:48:17Yeah.
00:48:34How can I help you, sir?
00:48:35I need the tracking coordinates for a VOD alert necklace.
00:48:46Look, all we're after is the V1.
00:48:49You hand that over, we all go home happy.
00:48:55I can't.
00:48:57Robbie.
00:48:58No.
00:48:59You'll change your mind.
00:49:01I've watched enough friends get old and die to know.
00:49:04You'll change your mind.
00:49:05I'm sorry.
00:49:07But I won't.
00:49:10That doesn't mean we can't be together.
00:49:14We've wasted years already.
00:49:24If I gave it to you, what would you do with it?
00:49:28We will destroy it.
00:49:31She's right.
00:49:35It is a curse.
00:49:40No.
00:49:41Listen, mate.
00:49:42You can sort things out with a missus later.
00:49:46But you ain't leaving here with her shine.
00:49:48What, you think I'm stupid enough to bring it with me?
00:49:50You're exactly that stupid.
00:49:52You thought Geisha's life was in danger.
00:49:54You brought the V1 to save her.
00:49:56It's the bolt in your left pocket.
00:50:14Hey!
00:50:25No, this is Robbie.
00:50:27Just give it what he wants.
00:50:34Hey!
00:50:36Hey!
00:50:36Hey!
00:50:38Hey!
00:50:38Hey!
00:50:40Hey!
00:50:41Hey!
00:50:41Hey!
00:50:42Hey!
00:50:43Hey!
00:50:44Hey!
00:50:47Hey!
00:50:48Hey!
00:51:00Hey!
00:51:01Hey!
00:51:02Hey!
00:51:03Hey!
00:51:03Hey!
00:51:04Hey!
00:51:04Hey!
00:51:05Hey!
00:51:07Hey!
00:51:08Hey!
00:51:10Hey!
00:51:27Oh, you're Robbie Ben fuckers. He's here to help. We don't need that motherfuckers out
00:51:35Those two crackers have been at each other's throats for 80 years. It's their bone. Let the old dogs fight
00:51:41over it
00:51:45You know how long I've wanted to smash in that pretty face buddy the queen sat on this face
00:51:52It's a national fucking treasure
00:52:03Why the fuck do you trust him? There's no one who hates homelander more right now. Would you be sure?
00:52:09Because people are fucking predictable
00:52:25God damn it
00:53:22Oh
00:53:23God damn it, I hate flying
00:53:33Tough skin or not, I could still break your fucking neck. Ben, stop. Please
00:53:46God damn it
00:53:57I
00:53:57Can't give it to you. Goldie doesn't even want to take it. Then maybe someday I'll find someone who will
00:54:01you're always gonna fuck it up with Goldie anyway
00:54:04You never hold down a girl
00:54:06It was either a smack needle up your dick or having to stand next to you
00:54:12You were everyone's favorite from the start
00:54:15especially Clara
00:54:18Everything they wanted us to be everything they're working towards they saw it in you
00:54:24I fucking hated you for it
00:54:28No
00:54:30No, I wasn't everything Clara wanted I
00:54:35Didn't know how to be but you loved her
00:54:42What wouldn't you give to have her back?
00:54:46Forever
00:54:50I really fucking hate you no shit
00:54:55But we don't have to kill each other
00:54:58But we don't have to kill each other
00:54:58I can take away your immortality
00:55:01And your powers
00:55:03You won't have to live forever alone
00:55:06Then you and Goldie can
00:55:08Spend whatever time you have left like you want
00:55:14Why would you do that for me?
00:55:17I'd do it for the V1
00:55:19I'd do it for the V1
00:55:45I'd do it for the V1
00:56:06Up A
00:56:07The fuck is that?
00:56:14Come on.
00:56:33This is the first time I've seen my blood.
00:56:38I can't remember.
00:57:09Don't.
00:57:10I don't want to fight you.
00:57:19You know, Clara used to say the craziest shit.
00:57:22That I was the strongest soup alive.
00:57:25The ultimate expression of what we could be.
00:57:32But she was wrong.
00:57:38You know, she hadn't met you yet.
00:57:55Oh.
00:58:03I don't understand.
00:58:04You wasn't supposed to.
00:58:06It's impossible.
00:58:10When you hate me, I love her more.
00:58:17And this is what she would want.
00:58:55Run.
00:58:57No!
00:59:27No!
00:59:57No!
01:00:27No!
01:00:58No!
01:01:29No!
01:02:03No!
01:02:33No!
01:03:03No!
01:03:33No!
01:04:03No!
01:04:27No!
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