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Half.Man.S01E01.540p.X265.AAC [Full Movie] [Full Storyline]Full EP - Full
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00:27Satsang with Mooji
00:53I'm not speaking about this.
00:58You don't have to speak.
01:00You have to listen.
01:03Really?
01:06You picked today.
01:09My fucking wedding.
01:16Come on, Truman, stop messing.
01:21Put your top back on.
01:34Oh, for fuck's sake.
01:45Oh, Niall.
01:53Come here.
01:55Come here.
02:02I'm proud of you, yeah?
02:05You know that?
02:13You look gorgeous, so you do.
02:15I tell you, if I wasn't family, I'd get up and underneath that kilt right away.
02:20No, Ruben, don't.
02:21What?
02:22I tell you, you look gorgeous.
02:24Come on, show me.
02:24There's nothing to show, Ruben.
02:25I've got boxes on underneath, for Christ's sake.
02:27Oh, boxers.
02:28Stop teasing me, you little mate.
02:33Hey.
02:34Yeah.
02:35Come here, look at me.
02:36Look at me.
02:38That's it.
02:41Look at me.
02:44We may not flow through each other's veins, but we flow through each other's brains, you
02:49get me?
02:50Please, I don't think that...
02:50One more time, eh?
02:52For all time's sake.
02:54I just need to hear it.
02:57Before I lose you forever.
02:58You're not serious.
03:01Go on.
03:02Say it.
03:03What am I?
03:08Your brother from...
03:16You're not the lover.
03:21You're not the lover.
03:23Beautiful.
03:26Beautiful.
03:36No!
03:51Come on, give us your best, you little fike.
04:04What is this now?
04:06Oh, fucking Snickers, Indiana Jones, that film is gay as fuck, I'm gonna have these, no, please,
04:17Gus, you can keep one, okay, I'm not a monster, pick one.
04:29Second to last.
04:30Good.
04:52Open up.
05:00Okay, degenerate, settle down, settle down.
05:05Right, as we know, the prelim exams start this week, are we aware of how important they are?
05:15Well, the prelims are your safety net, for whatever reason you missed your finals.
05:20You get hit by a bus, you come down with a bubonic plague.
05:24These exams are your get out of jail with an appeals card.
05:27Have I emphasized their importance enough?
05:34Positively spellbinding.
05:37Right, moving on.
05:38Well done.
05:38I should probably make you aware that a new student will be joining the class from tomorrow.
05:43One Reuben Pallister.
05:46What?
05:49Some of them are, Kennedy.
05:52No, it's just...
05:54Did you just say Reuben Pallister?
05:58That's right.
05:59A new pupil you can show off your sparkling personality to.
06:04Reuben will be transferring from Pullman Young Offenders Institute, and will be resitting
06:09two years, which means he'll be a little more feral than the rest of you.
06:13Any questions?
06:17Nobody.
06:18Good.
06:18Open your jars, we'll pick up where we left off you after the day.
06:22Page 16.
06:25Kennedy.
06:27Did you listen to what I just said?
06:30What?
06:30Yeah, of course.
06:33What did I just say then?
06:37Reuben's back.
06:50Mum, it's Niall
06:52Honey, I'm working, what is it?
06:53It's Ruben, he's out, he's coming to school
06:55Look, now is not the time, alright?
06:57He's not staying with us, is he?
06:58We can talk about this when I pick you up
07:00But Mum
07:21You should have said about her then
07:22Don't piss yourself, you're a 15 year old boy
07:26Giving your life, I don't need to give you respect
07:32Look, I'm sorry, okay? I should have told you
07:37And keep him with the theme of surprises
07:39He's moved into your room
07:42What? No way
07:43What did you think that second bed was for?
07:44We were almost begging you to ask
07:46I thought it was for guests
07:47He is a guest
07:48No, he's not, he's a psycho
07:50He bit someone's nose off
07:51I've seen the guy too, it's horrible
07:53His wife left him and everything
08:03Look, you're not to talk about this, okay?
08:05Nobody in this town knows about that
08:07The last thing that boy needs is folk whispering
08:09Don't bite people's noses often
08:11No, shh
08:11You're not to speak this way in front tomorrow, alright?
08:13Oh, you always put her first
08:14She was only supposed to be living with us for six months
08:17And now her kid is moving in
08:18Come on, Mum
08:19He's a psycho
08:20Her son getting out is a big deal
08:22He's been away for two years
08:24For Christ's sake
08:25This is happening, Niall
08:27So get used to it
08:28Come on
08:28I'm alright
08:29Come on
08:43I'm okay
08:45I'm okay
08:46But you're not to가지고
08:49Don't I?
08:51Want you to goazzy?
08:52You're not supposed to be
08:54You're not supposed tohmael
09:22Remember me, Bambi?
09:24Last time I saw you, you were about
09:26Yee high
09:33Grown at least two feet since then
09:34Maybe more
09:36You've got the exact same size head though
09:39Creeping me out a bit
09:46You helping or what?
09:48We can't have this shit up
09:50I'm off for bringing Budsome
09:51Yeah
09:56Get to it then, Bambi
09:57Grab a bag, get stuff in
10:08Yeah, take that poster down and put this up
10:26Put it up then, you dick
10:54What the fuck are you staring at?
10:59What? Nothing
11:26Looks like Pallister's a no-show
11:28Off to a great start
11:31Alright everyone, open your jotters
11:33We'll pick up from yesterday
11:39Right, what's going on here?
11:50Kennedy
11:52Open your jotter
11:55Open your jotter
11:55No
11:57Open, boy
12:06Who did this?
12:08Oh no, come on
12:14Me, sir
12:15You?
12:16You called your own mum a dyke?
12:18No, I called someone else's mum a dyke
12:21Really?
12:22Really?
12:22I know first hand from your essays
12:24Your grasp of irony
12:25Isn't that strong?
12:27So come on
12:29Who did this?
12:34My mum is not a lesbian
12:36I beg your pardon?
12:37I said
12:39My mum is not a fucking lesbian
12:43Look, come with me
12:45Go off me, you nods
12:47What did you say?
12:48Like to touch young boys, do you?
12:50You fucking old poof
12:53I'm just wondering if there's something else we should be worrying about
12:56What are you insinuating?
12:57All I'm saying is
12:58I've seen a change in Niall recently
13:00And what change is that then?
13:01Look, he's gone from being a committed gifted student
13:03To one that acts out in most lessons
13:05Say, go on
13:06I know you want to
13:07Look, we have to call into question Niall's rather unusual state of affairs at home
13:10You don't know anything about my damn home
13:28You fucking
13:30You fucking
13:32You fucking
13:33You fucking
13:34You fucking
13:34Pass them here
13:35Oi, Rook
13:36I know you're up there
13:38What?
13:40Have he said about
13:41By a muck
13:42All day
13:43Waiting
13:45Is that your dad?
13:46Shut the fuck up
13:47I'll wait, no cunts
13:48Hear me?
13:53You're not a monk
13:54I'm not these fucking muck
13:57You get down here
13:58And explain why you stay with that dite
14:03And not me
14:05Ruben
14:06Son
14:07Who's that again then?
14:09I think you'll give your old man a big hug, eh?
14:15I don't think I can't see you, boy
14:18Who's he about the fucking color
14:19We've heard before
14:21I'll get, I'll get mum
14:23I mean
14:26Don't shoot her
14:27You fucking
14:27Dave
14:31Not a word
14:32Okay
14:32Not a fucking word
14:38Get, get, get me through my
14:39I don't think
14:40Shut your mother
14:41Fuck
14:41You don't tell anyone about this
14:44Do you understand?
14:45This never happened
14:47Don't
14:52Don't
14:53I don't know.
15:32I don't know.
16:16I don't know.
16:19I'm not sure whether you heard all that commotion last night.
16:28No, we were asleep.
16:30Both of us.
16:34Well, right. Well, that's okay then. Ignore me.
16:59What the fuck are you staring at?
17:02Just seeing if you're all right.
17:04Why wouldn't I be?
17:05It's just last night.
17:06Fuck last night.
17:08Oh, yeah. Absolutely.
17:10Fuck last night.
17:18Are you nervous or...?
17:20How the fuck would I be nervous?
17:21Well, first day of school.
17:23This is Dalkenny.
17:24This is where the fairies go.
17:25Hey, soft cock.
17:27Are you a boyfriend?
17:30Ignore them.
17:32Are these guys bothering you, Bambi?
17:33Nah, it's just banter.
17:35Big up to your mum, dear, you little faggot.
17:38Great banter.
17:42Are these guys bothering you, Bambi?
17:46I'll ask you again.
17:48Are these guys bothering you?
18:00Is that a knife?
18:01Go to school.
18:02What?
18:02Go to school.
18:03You're not a witness if you don't see what happens.
18:04All right.
18:05Just fucking go.
18:40And at the heart of this relentless conflict...
18:43Lies a love story.
18:47Ah, Mr. Pallister.
18:49Nice of you to fit us into your busy schedule.
18:52Boys and girls, this is Reuben.
18:54Reuben will be joining us from now on.
18:59Where's your school uniform?
19:00On your mother's floor.
19:02That's enough, everyone.
19:06Disc at the back.
19:10And for the record, my mum's dead.
19:12So extra points for nihilism.
19:20Right.
19:21As I was saying,
19:22two households like families.
19:25Both in a bit of a feud.
19:27Cuts.
20:00You've been working out...
20:01Nihil. Certainly has. Now there's only an inch of space when I cut my hand around his bicep.
20:07Used to be at least two, three maybe. I'm going to my room. No, don't. Sit down you little killjoy.
20:24We need you to persuade Rabin to go to the exam tomorrow. What? No way. Nihil, please.
20:29Do this. Do this for us. What are you doing? Stop that. I'm not a kid. That's exactly what you
20:36are.
20:37Get off me. Oh, come on. Do this for me. Come on. Come on, Nihil. I need you to do
20:41this. Come on.
20:43Please. Get off me. Come on. Come on. Just this one thing. Oh, please. I said get off me.
20:57I'll take it from here.
21:08Okay. God. You left fairly sizeable nice fire in there apart. She's making all the effort in the world.
21:18I don't care. We're not friends. We never will be. Come on. Fancy the pants off of her when you
21:25were a wee in.
21:27Remember the love letters we'd send to her house on Valentine's Day?
21:35Fine. Playtime's over.
21:39Luke, will you speak to him at least?
21:41No. No, he's terrifying.
21:44Come on, Nihil. You wouldn't believe how hard Mora had to work to get Rabin into Dalkenny.
21:49She changed her postcodes and everything.
21:52He's on probation too, so he needs to show up and pass this prelim, or the school will kick him
21:56out.
22:03JR- We have a degree in Alter Yellow가지고, so he's on vacation for me.
22:10It's almost all of a night for him.
22:15He's terrifying, thoughtless.
22:21He's terrifying.
22:24meny полностью and miles away from a girl who felt so hungry,
22:27it's extremely scary and crazy in my room.
22:27We're still angry right in the depression for some of them.
22:28Hello.
22:54What do you mean?
22:56Am I speaking foreign?
22:57That's what he does.
22:58You tell anyone about this, I will put you to sleep, do you understand?
23:01I won't.
23:02I mean, I thought it was great.
23:04I thought it was great.
23:06I thought it was great.
23:30What do you want?
23:32Just a quick something that's come to me just now, in the moment.
23:39I was thinking about the exam tomorrow.
23:41Fuck off.
23:42Right you are.
24:10You're dead.
24:12You're dead.
24:18You're dead.
24:18You know what about him?
24:21How old were you again?
24:26When I was eight, when I died.
24:32What did he do again?
24:39He was a writer.
24:42Yeah? I don't remember that.
24:45Well, he worked in a pub mainly, but he wanted to be a writer.
24:50And what did he write about?
24:55Working in a pub.
25:04He was really good though. I've read all his stuff.
25:08He was so close to getting published in the end.
25:11What stopped him?
25:14Well...
25:16Death.
25:29That's why I want to give it a shot myself, you know?
25:32You're right too.
25:34I keep a diary.
25:36That doesn't count.
25:37Try sending that to Anne Frank.
25:39Who?
25:41No, no, she was just...
25:45Maybe it doesn't matter.
25:57What happened to Gus?
26:02He'll survive.
26:07I just thought with the knife you'd done something, you know, really bad.
26:15Almost did.
26:17And I'm up against the wall with it, guppy and like mad.
26:22Whispered, it'll be over soon.
26:25So he thought for a second I was going to stick it in him proper.
26:29It'll be over soon.
26:34I love seeing that.
26:37You really get a sense of what a cunt looks like when they think they're going to die.
26:42You're sort of infant-like.
26:44He's all innocent and shit.
26:45It's weird.
26:47It'll be over soon.
27:01Night, Bumpers.
27:04Night.
27:17Where's a bulldog now, eh?
27:18Back off.
27:19Not the way you tell us where Gus is.
27:20I don't know.
27:21We know you live with an inbred prick.
27:22You're bound to have said something.
27:23We don't talk.
27:27Oi!
27:42Leave me alone.
28:07You lived here.
28:09You're a girl.
28:11You really didn't know.
28:12I'm a Jew.
28:12I can't be on that perché.
28:15You're a mouse.
28:17But if you're a Jew, you're a monkey, I don't know.
28:17You're a mouse.
28:17You're a mosquito.
28:17You're a mouse.
28:40Let's smoke this, son of a bitch!
28:42Woo! Woo!
28:44Come on! Come on!
28:45Pallister, nice of you to join.
28:47Please refrain from shouting out.
28:49It's only prelims. Where am I sitting?
28:51There's an empty chair there, two rows along.
28:54Please move quietly.
29:24Pallister, nice of you to play.
29:39All right, guys. We have ten minutes left.
29:42Ten minutes? Get fucked.
29:43Language, Pallister.
29:45I started later than everyone.
29:46Well, I'm afraid the onus is on you there.
29:48Piss off, Jenkins.
29:49I shagged your mum in her onus.
29:53Pallister, get back here.
29:56Pallister, don't you walk away from me, son.
29:59Oi, I'm speaking to you.
30:07I'm out of the room.
30:09I love you.
30:13I love you.
30:29Pallister, I love you.
30:31All right, guys. Not long now.
31:17This girlfriend.
31:18Oh, Jesus. What now?
31:21Reuben passed.
31:23He passed the prelim.
31:26He can stay in school now.
31:29Oh.
31:30Really?
31:31Yeah.
31:34You helped him, didn't you?
31:36Oh, no.
31:37Last night, I heard you talking.
31:45I mean that.
31:49I know we haven't always seen it eye to eye.
31:52Mainly because you're a little brat who blames me for everything.
31:56I do think you could be a positive influence on my boy.
32:04Thanks.
32:07I think.
32:15No, that feels weird.
32:19Let's never do that again.
32:20I don't know.
32:20I don't know.
32:22I don't know.
32:24I don't know.
32:29I don't know.
32:39I don't know.
32:39I don't know.
32:40I don't know.
32:41I don't know.
32:41I don't know.
32:42I don't know.
32:43I don't know.
32:46I don't know.
32:49I don't know.
32:50I've got to keep it down. Bambi's sleeping.
33:03Isn't it a bit weird doing this with a wee Nile in the room?
33:06I don't care. I passed the prelims today and I did it in a speck at the time every other
33:10fucker.
33:11Stop it, Ruben. If I swear anymore, I'm going to put my back out.
33:15I don't know.
33:16I thought you said you didn't care about him hearing.
33:18What are you doing? I just don't want my mum rubbing one out all week.
33:24Yeah, TV's off. I want it for you, Scal, Scal.
33:27Oh, baby.
33:47Okay, here, here.
34:09Caught you, Nile Kennedy.
34:10What? No, I was sleeping. Fuck off. We saw you.
34:14I wasn't. I was sleeping.
34:15Liar. At least admit it, you little scrote. You were perving.
34:19Pervy little Nile Kennedy, eh?
34:23So, tell me, did you see anything that you liked?
34:33Quite something, huh?
34:35Is this the first time you've seen a naked woman?
34:40In the flesh.
34:44And what do you think?
34:50What would you do to her, Nile, if you could have your way?
34:56Go on.
34:59I would...
35:01I'd ask her for her permission.
35:03Obviously.
35:04Fucking loser, aren't you, Bambi?
35:06Touch my breath, Nile.
35:08What?
35:14Here.
35:23Let's see how he's getting on, shall we?
35:25What?
35:26No, no, no, no. Wait, wait, wait, wait.
35:27No, no, no, no, no.
35:28That's fine, Bambi.
35:30Just relax, okay?
35:31Let her do her thing.
35:48Well, nothing.
35:50What's going on? You got something against Mona?
35:52Is it my boobs?
35:53What? No, it's just that this isn't how I pictured it.
35:57Well, how does you picture it, then?
35:58More than one woman.
36:01That's it, isn't it?
36:02Well, Nile here loves group sex.
36:05No, no, I don't.
36:06Well, little Nile Kennedy loves a bit of group sex.
36:10Well, I could assume different characters, if you like.
36:14I could be Candy, a blonde bombshell who lives next door.
36:19Or I could be Svetlana, Russian warrior of the North.
36:27She's incredible, isn't she, now?
36:29There's something to keep her.
36:31Uh-uh.
36:32Svetlana is kept by no one.
36:34How's he getting on now, then?
36:37Come on, son.
36:38I got full marks on my stante grates back in the day, Nile.
36:41Well, I know you love a nerd.
36:45Here.
36:47Just focus on how things feel.
36:49Give me your finger.
37:02Oh, hello.
37:03Here we go, my man.
37:06You ready?
37:33That's it, that's it.
37:34Easy, boy, easy.
37:36Steady, steady.
37:41Drop.
37:42Don't gallop.
37:46Oh, wow.
37:47He's a grower, young Nile.
37:53Oh?
37:57Sorry.
37:58Back you go, mister.
38:00No, no, no, no.
38:00Just do it.
38:01Fighting, you let her do her thing.
38:04Here.
38:05I'll hold it up, bro.
38:06What?
38:07What?
38:07Oh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh.
38:16Huh?
38:17Ah, hold it, son.
38:18Hold it.
38:20Further my rhythm.
38:41Wow, he's really going for a night.
39:09For fuck's sake, did you just call me me?
39:13You fucking did, you mink!
39:15Oh no, put my feet at all.
39:16Now son, you need to pull out.
39:18For fuck's sake, I better not be pregnant.
39:20I'm sorry, I didn't mean to.
39:21It just came out of nowhere.
39:23Relax, son, it's fine.
39:25But I mean, like, what happens now?
39:28Will I get the virus?
39:32What?
39:36Do you mean AIDS?
39:51I'll lie back, you daft cunt.
40:01So, is that it, then?
40:05That's it, Bambi.
40:14I don't know.
40:16I don't know.
40:22I'm going to die.
40:27I don't know.
40:30I don't know.
40:54I was just thinking, do you have any hash?
41:06We can bake Niall Kennedy, dark horse, my man.
41:18Niall Kennedy, eh?
41:21Sex God, drug fiend.
42:01I was thinking, do you have any hash?
42:14Well, I get the virus.
42:18Oh, I feel like an idiot.
42:22No, you're good.
42:26I know what you did.
42:29As in?
42:31Where you going?
42:33Oh.
42:38I've never seen her look at me like that before.
42:42I've seen her cry loads.
42:47You know, but...
42:53I like this.
42:55It works.
43:02What did you make of Mona then?
43:05Yeah, I liked her.
43:06Yeah, you fucking did.
43:09You can thank me when you're ready.
43:13Someone had to lose your virginity for you, didn't they?
43:17Oh, come on.
43:18You didn't think that was chance, did you?
43:21Yeah.
43:22There's no way a lassie would take time out from sleeping with me to sleep with you.
43:27I set it up.
43:29My way of saying thanks.
43:35Oh.
43:37So, come on.
43:38Tell me you loved it.
43:42I loved it.
43:45Yeah, you did.
43:49I should run a brothel or something.
43:51I'm like the Pied Piper of pussy.
43:56Okay.
43:58I don't think so.
44:00I'll be right back.
44:02Okay.
44:02You're the one thing.
44:06Oh.
44:08Oh.
44:08Oh.
44:10Oh.
44:16Oh.
44:19Oh.
44:21Oh.
44:34The pine piper are busy.
44:39I'm imagining these massive vaginas with legs falling through the roots.
44:51You're a minger, papi.
45:16Can I see something?
45:18Do I?
45:22Are our mums, you know, fucking...
45:31Yeah, I've heard so.
45:36Does it bother you or something?
45:40No, no, not really.
45:43As long as they're happy, I guess.
45:47Although they don't seem all that happy.
45:55There's a lot you don't know about.
46:09Yeah.
46:12Got you something.
46:20I'm not going to train you.
46:22Just in case something happens to me, I need to know you'll look after yourself.
46:28Why do you care?
46:32We're family, now.
46:35It's the most important thing.
46:40My brother, if I'm another lover.
46:48Come on, boys.
46:49School.
46:51Bring those thin bags down while you're at it.
46:56This is going to be some morning.
46:58We'll be floating to school after all that.
47:05Hey.
47:09You've got nothing to worry about with our mums.
47:12Ten years' time, you'll be at a party somewhere and realise it makes you more interesting.
47:23Later, Bambas.
47:24Come on.
48:02Just cause I ain't never had no nothing worth having
48:05Never, ever, never, ever
48:12You ain't got no call not to think of what I'm falling
48:15To thinking I ain't too clever
48:23And it ain't not having one thing or not another
48:25Rather neither is it anything, whatever
48:33And it's not, not knowing that there ain't nothing showing
48:36In the eyes of the name of Trevor
48:41However
48:46Knocked me down with a feather
48:50Clever Trevor
48:56Why brows wonder whether clever Trevor's clever
49:05No, neither, haven't not got no right to make a clock out of Trevor
49:38Nothing, neither, haven't got no right
50:01One more, Bambi.
50:02Here, have a sip.
50:16Hey, easy.
50:18Sip, don't chug.
50:20Come on.
50:21That's it.
50:32Jesus, you're dripping.
50:37Let's sort this out.
50:40We're gonna stay here.
50:42All right.
50:44Hey, it's gonna be okay.
50:47You're gonna be fine.
50:51Hey.
50:52Hey, it's gonna be all right.
50:54Don't...
50:54Hey, come on.
50:56Nile, please.
50:57No.
50:58Hey, hey, settle, settle.
51:00Settle.
51:01All right, settle.
51:02No, no, no, no, settle, settle.
51:04Just breathe.
51:05Hey.
51:06Hey.
51:07It's fine.
51:08Nile's fine.
51:09Just settle a bit.
51:10Sell.
51:12Here.
51:13Follow my breath.
51:19There's no following my breath.
51:21I can't.
51:22Follow it.
51:22I can't.
51:23Try.
51:23Yes, you can.
51:24You fucking can.
51:25Come on.
51:26Come on.
51:26Follow it.
51:49Hey.
51:50Hey.
51:56I said go with it, go with it, no no no, that's it, that's it boy, just breathe, okay, I'm
52:05here for you, just keep breathing, that's it, that's it boy, don't worry, it'll be over soon.
52:21It's not it boy.
52:26I don't know.
52:53I don't know.
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