- 1 day ago
- #bait
#Bait S01E03 [Full Movie] [High Quality]Full EP - Full
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Short filmTranscript
00:24Packing.
00:42I hear that. I really do. It's just really not a good day to me because it's Eid, so I've
00:46got to stick with family.
00:46Okay. Well, you could have stuck with the family yesterday, but now you've got to deal with the shitstorm you
00:50created.
00:50Is it really that bad? A lot of people seem to like the whole action and ritual.
00:55I reckon it will help them visualize me as Bond.
00:57Oh, okay. Well, there is a lot of chatter. Some people think you're a tough guy. Other people think you're
01:00insane.
01:01This could cost you the role. Oh, fuck.
01:06Saju, what happened to you once again?
01:09Mommy, have you met Felicia?
01:10This is the team.
01:11Oh, this is your agent.
01:16Remember I said wait in the car and I'm going to get the sweetest.
01:19Don't give me a ticket because Felicia, what's going on?
01:23Same as you, just babysitting Bond.
01:25Oh, that horny auntie's waiting for you.
01:27You're a disgrace.
01:28Felicia, you're going to get him the job, yes.
01:31If it kills me.
01:33My Shahjee's just perfect for the job. I'll tell you why.
01:35Okay.
01:35When he was a little boy, he used to say,
01:37Mama, I want a license to kill. Remember, Shahjee?
01:41Oh, how specific?
01:42I don't remember that.
01:43Oh, look, he's got the military.
01:46I'll just be a minute, okay?
01:47Bye-bye, Felicia.
01:48Bye, Felicia.
01:54I'm sorry. You are a black lady.
01:58I know.
02:01What the fuck is this?
02:03You told me.
02:10Oh, you know what? I can't get into this right now.
02:12Okay, listen, none of this matters, okay?
02:15No one reads the fucking news.
02:17However, this is a big problem.
02:20The person you assaulted, you broke his arm,
02:22and now he wants an apology.
02:24Sid said he was going for the giant Buddha's head,
02:26but now he's coming for you with 200,000 followers
02:29and counting young and brown your core fan base.
02:32Assaulted?
02:33This man ran at me with a metal object, Felicia.
02:36It was a can of spray paint, Shahjee.
02:38Yeah, in hindsight.
02:39I mean, the worst he could have done was tag you.
02:41Okay, fine. Just give him his apology.
02:42Okay, good.
02:43All right, so how are you going to do?
02:44Oh, no, you have to apologize.
02:47On a video by end of day, or he's pressing charges.
02:49Listen, it's Ian, so I've got to stick with the family.
02:52My mum usually hosts, but I fucked that up this time.
02:54That's on me.
02:55So I can't be dealing with this.
02:56I have to be with the fan today.
02:58I have to make it right.
02:58This is about your career, Shah.
03:00Your credibility in your community
03:02for the people that you say you're doing all of this for.
03:05Do you want more followers of me?
03:10Shah!
03:12Shah Latif here.
03:14Eve Mubarak to everyone celebrating.
03:15I want to address the incident at the King's Museum last night.
03:19You might have heard about it or seen it.
03:21Well, I lived it.
03:23And I want you to know that in that moment,
03:24I wasn't thinking at all.
03:26I was acting out of sheer instinct.
03:30Community is the most important thing in the world to me.
03:33And I would never take it for granted.
03:36And there's nothing more painful to me
03:38than to know that I might have hurt a member of my own community.
03:41and to know that I might have betrayed your trust in some way
03:44hurts me deeply.
03:46You good, yeah?
03:47Yeah, I'm good.
03:50So you've come to visit us lowly villagers.
03:55Oxford educated.
03:56But no sense.
03:58Why did you attack that young man?
03:59Don't listen to him.
04:01Come.
04:01Let's take a selfie.
04:03And I want you to know
04:04that I'm going to do everything in my power
04:06to make up for it
04:07and to make it rightful.
04:09Right?
04:10Should have won black.
04:12Hmm?
04:13It would go better with the animal bitches' gold palace.
04:17Hmm?
04:18Eve is my day.
04:19It belongs to all Muslims.
04:21Mummy.
04:21It's mine.
04:22And she took it.
04:23Oh.
04:23You know one thing she doesn't have?
04:25What?
04:27Hassan.
04:29Salim.
04:30You golden boy.
04:31I stood to buy a big shot.
04:33Always trying to compete with you.
04:35Bad shot.
04:36Probably getting a Russian prostitute pregnant this second.
04:38Don't talk filthy.
04:42Orbita?
04:44She doesn't have her main attraction.
04:46You and me can be the stars of the show.
04:48We just...
04:50Come on.
04:51You worried about what Naughty Naila thinks?
04:53Mangi Naila.
04:54Mangi Naila.
04:55Oh, my God.
04:56Thank you, Naila.
04:57And she always shows skin because she's got no style.
05:01Look, where is she?
05:01She's probably too busy checking herself out in the mirror
05:04to come host her own party.
05:05Eve is my body.
05:06Oh, you're such a beautiful woman.
05:09Thank you so much for having me.
05:15Mmm.
05:19Samina?
05:20Eve is my body.
05:23I'm so happy you could come.
05:25So we've decided to co-host this year.
05:27His brother, you've done a great job, Tahira.
05:30But you know Naughty Naila, how is she?
05:32She doesn't manage her.
05:33She doesn't have to do anything.
05:34I'm not going to do decoration.
05:35I'm going to put her in the penthouse.
05:39I'm going to put her in the penthouse.
05:41I'm going to eat thisyard.
05:42Yeah.
05:42I'm going to eat this day.
05:43Eat my body.
05:45Eat my body.
05:46Eat my body.
05:47Eat my body.
05:47What the fuck?
05:48Don't leave my side.
05:49Okay, don't leave my sight, huh?
05:52Idh Mubarak!
05:54Idh Mubarak!
05:54He's coming!
05:55Hello, ladies!
05:56Idh Mubarak!
05:58Idh Mubarak!
05:59Idh Mubarak!
05:59Ah!
06:00What is my?
06:01Seed, nah?
06:03Insane seed?
06:04Ah!
06:04Now he has passed, you're the eldest.
06:06No, thank you, I'm fine standing.
06:09Baba!
06:09Call you a favor.
06:11Don't tell mommy, yeah?
06:12Is that how you're going to kill us, Bond?
06:13By raising the blood sugar?
06:16Yeah, I'll mention that to the writers.
06:18May I let him go?
06:22Maybe.
06:22Yeah, maybe.
06:23Why don't you do a Pakistani film?
06:24Something with Mayra Khan in it.
06:26No, no.
06:26You would do me go wrong with Raabu.
06:34Hey, I'm hot right now.
06:43Shah, good first try, good first try.
06:45But I'm going to need you to do another apology video.
06:49First, you forgot to say the words I'm sorry.
06:51Which is kind of key to the whole thing.
06:53He's buff, nah?
06:55Kitty says he's gone mental.
06:56Yeah, it's fucking hot.
06:58Sorry, can you man focus, please?
07:00This is the latest.
07:02Well, this guy likes you.
07:04Hmm.
07:07Also, the whole Aladdin outfit and the Bollywood sweet shop, it's their community like ten times.
07:13It feels like you're begging it.
07:14Maybe down the brow.
07:16I don't get it.
07:17What is the problem?
07:18I like you.
07:18Tough, man.
07:19I'm 22, mate.
07:21What were you trying to get wifed up?
07:22Get it to me sooner rather than later.
07:25This is not going away.
07:27Hi everyone.
07:28Shah Latif here.
07:29Now last night at the King's Museum, a brother and I came into conflict.
07:34Now I should not have reacted the way that I did.
07:37And the brother in question, perhaps, should not have run at me with a metal object the way that he
07:43did.
07:44Nuba is a community-led...
07:47It's not fucking community-led.
07:48The fact is, we're all in this together.
07:50And in the future, I promise to use my platform not to lash out, but to reach out.
07:57Bro?
07:57Nuba is for...
07:59You want some chai or something?
08:02No.
08:04Nuba...
08:04Bro, are we good?
08:05I'm good, are you good?
08:06Yeah, I'm good, bro.
08:07Are we good?
08:07No, I'm good.
08:08Are you good?
08:09Yeah, I'm good.
08:09I'm good then.
08:11Uba, not Uba.
08:12What are you doing?
08:12Trying to focus, man.
08:13You are distracting me.
08:15Alright.
08:16Yes.
08:17Yo, they've got them little laddus over there with the pink and green balls on them.
08:19You want them?
08:20Big man, please.
08:21I don't want laddus right now, okay?
08:22I just want to concentrate.
08:24Aren't you supposed to be holding it on his hand?
08:26Oh, yeah.
08:27Shit.
08:28In a bit, yeah?
08:29Don't bring me no laddus.
08:30Move before that, man.
08:31Move the baby.
08:34Come on, talk about town.
08:37Hey.
08:38Here I go.
08:39It's only gone, it's only gone.
08:40Hakimila, where have you been?
08:41I've just been checking on Baba and Zofi.
08:44Bastard, you promised you're not going to leave me.
08:46So if I just die, standing here alone...
08:48Please, please don't do this now.
08:50You left me.
08:51I'm sorry.
08:52I'm gonna get up here.
08:53My name.
08:54My name is Salim.
09:00My name is Salim.
09:01Salim!
09:01My child!
09:05Salim!
09:11Salim!
09:23Salim!
09:29Oh, beta!
09:31Ah!
09:32Beta!
09:34Come on, Mr. Dubai.
09:36I can't believe that.
09:37Look at him, the dancing monkey.
09:39Doing his mother's dirty bidding.
09:41Making Russian prostitutes pregnant.
09:43Look!
09:43No, he's not, Mummy.
09:44That was a joke that I just made.
09:47Oh, look at that fresh prey.
09:50Zulfi.
09:50Weakest of us all
09:54Don't leave she's coming. Don't shut it down. Can I borrow your money for a minute? I need my ghost
09:59in the kitchen
10:00Okay, we're just gonna okay. Okay. No, no, let's go. Let's go. Let's go. Let's go. Let's go
10:07Our KPI is the most interesting thing about this, okay?
10:10It's the retention of the customer base after that discount period, you know, it's off the charts people want more
10:15community driven ride
10:16Yes, Salim. Yes, we same bro. Yes. Good. Yes guy. You good? Yeah. Come join us man. Join us
10:24Yeah, I got you some loaders bro. Thank you. Thank you. That's I never got your number. How you been?
10:29I've been good bro
10:30Yeah, you've been breaking shit. What do you mean by that?
10:35Glass ceilings. Thank you try man trying and I got his arm
10:40It's just a fracture. Hey just to bring this back to what we're talking about before you got here
10:44Yeah, um, you know our number of drivers are growing by the day will be in all key five bars
10:49by June
10:49So move a sick idea in it. I've been there from day one
10:53I remember bro. I'm so proud of this guy customer so proud and you know what's amazing
10:56He's always been an entrepreneur if anything you just went from selling grams to Instagram
11:05Just out of interest what was the what's your credit situation with the criminal record and everything? No, no problems
11:10whatsoever
11:11No issues and just for clarity, um, I didn't go inside for selling mall
11:15It's not just five bit of island disorder. It was your self-defense. It wasn't to be honest in a
11:20way
11:20He's a ride or die and he was there for me any credit issues though
11:22No credit issues because I'm going all in with everything that I've got, right?
11:26So if you need any credit you need financing just talk to me
11:30Sorry, just I was on the impression we were coming in seed round rather than source
11:34Series a through this conversation here. This is in fact that the closest he's
11:38Been to the business
11:42It's too close. Okay. Give me back my dildos then
11:47Ah, even for me personally the most important quality about muba is in fact the quality of the relationships
11:55We're not just there for them when we want because that's bullshit. That's fake
12:00Get the fuck off me bro. I don't know
12:05And anyway, I've always had a passion for customer services. It's my thing. That's one thing I picked up in
12:09dubai
12:10That's what we do best hospitality. That's our culture one might say
12:14The muslim way of doing business. Hmm. I love the idea
12:17Can I present it to the guys see what they say? Well, you're taking this?
12:21You're trying to get investment from dubai
12:25Yeah, okay, yeah
12:27You good? No, no, I'm just saying, you know, dubai works for people with you know, all like
12:33But I mean, what the fuck's this guy gonna do in dubai, man? He ain't gonna let you in bro.
12:37You don't want to go there, man
12:38I'm all in, yeah remember that
12:43He was disrespectful. He referred to your quiff like that. There was no need
12:46They lose good
12:48Shah got your second apology. Yeah, that's not gonna work
12:51First of all, what was up with that background?
12:54If you post that you'll have to issue a second apology for being a rich arsehole. Also, you forgot to
12:59say sorry again
13:01What the first class interzaam kiya Naila
13:05Sano se tum si isi kha
13:07Next year, Ead is back at yours, no? No, absolutely, yes
13:10Very kind of you to step in this year, Naila
13:13Taira, don't mind
13:15Everything is fine, right?
13:20Why? No, nothing
13:22Just because I was watching Shanju today and I thought
13:28I worry for him, for all of you
13:30It's so much pressure
13:32That's very kind of you to worry, Naila
13:34I see a bit of your sister in him
13:44Does Shah Jahan have someone you can talk to?
13:47He has me
13:48Rukhaya had you too
13:49But she needed more help, na?
13:52She doesn't know anything, she was
13:55Naila, please
13:57It's all good
13:58My son is going to be the next James Bond
14:01We all couldn't be more proud
14:07It's okay to talk about these struggles now
14:08Really?
14:12Thank you
14:13It's all good
14:15It's first class
14:38Hm, no
14:39I have no doubt
14:50What the hell is that?
14:52You have to have a
14:53See, what is the one?
14:53And this is the one?
14:54You don't want to have a
14:54I can't believe
15:04What is the one?
15:05What is the one?
15:05What is the one?
15:05Something that looks good
15:07Is the one?
15:08I don't know
15:08I love that
15:08I love that
15:08I love that
15:12Shah, we need that apology.
15:14We're running out of time.
15:15I've literally written it out for you.
15:17Just find a quiet, neutral room.
15:20Record it and send it back now before it's too fucking late.
15:22Okay?
15:28For fuck's sake.
15:47Am I interacting, Sammy?
15:50Yeah.
15:51A conversation.
15:54Can you fucking close the door, please?
15:57Is this like you two...
15:59I like her.
16:00Texting.
16:01Wow.
16:02So how long has this been going on?
16:03Six months.
16:04Three months?
16:06Okay, so this is nothing.
16:07Can we please not do this in front of Charles?
16:09I'm chill.
16:10I'm not going to tell anyone.
16:10Why don't I come here?
16:11Can we not do this in front of Charles?
16:12I came here for you.
16:14But I never asked you to, did I?
16:15But I asked me to.
16:16I never...
16:16Calm down.
16:17I never fucking asked you to.
16:19And this, this whole thing you're doing here,
16:20this is what I'm talking about.
16:21This is the whole problem.
16:21So just to clarify,
16:22you didn't come in to see Zilfie then for the thing?
16:24No.
16:25Yes.
16:25Does he know, by the way?
16:26Oh, fuck's sake.
16:27Yeah, he's going to find out now, isn't he?
16:29I'm not going to say anything.
16:30I've got your back.
16:30I've got your back.
16:32Look, we don't have to tell anyone,
16:34but let's just be real about what this is
16:36because this is, this is something, right?
16:38Me and you both know it.
16:39What does that even mean, bro?
16:41You, you live a million miles away, okay?
16:44You have a whole life.
16:45You have fucking house keys, car keys,
16:48so, so many keys, okay?
16:49I have one key.
16:50I can give you keys.
16:51I don't want your keys, okay?
16:53I want mine.
16:54Yo, can I just step in here for a minute
16:55and offer maybe a different perspective
16:56from my own more mature experience, yeah?
16:59I want an honest answer from both of you, okay?
17:02All right?
17:03All right.
17:04Now, let's say, let's say you've been texting.
17:06There's some emotional ambiguity
17:09about where you both stand.
17:11All right?
17:12Yeah?
17:12You can relate, right?
17:13You send a message, a heartfelt one.
17:16Instead of it going green, it goes gray.
17:19What does that mean to you?
17:21It means you're blocked.
17:24Fuck off, really?
17:25Yeah.
17:26Let me just show you this.
17:28Okay, I'm going to ask you to leave now.
17:29Can I show you this quickly?
17:30No, no, no.
17:30Oi?
17:31Don't say anything to anyone.
17:33I'm chill.
17:35Salim, yeah?
17:40He's not fucking chill.
17:48With Saigon, who will lead the prayer?
17:50Pasha?
17:51Okay.
17:52Well, he resides beautifully,
17:54but I think I should lead.
17:56How will you?
17:57Seated?
17:57I won't be seated.
17:58I won't be seated.
17:58But where's by?
17:59Think about it.
17:59Let someone else lead.
18:01Listen, you asswipes.
18:03I can run circles around you idiots.
18:05I will lead.
18:13By so desperately pursuing the role of Bond,
18:16an icon of the white establishment,
18:18Shah Latifah's exchanging his political art
18:20for vanilla distraction.
18:22And so he joins a long line of brown men
18:24who think that by becoming our oppressor,
18:26he's somehow liberating all of us.
18:28And he puts a filter on his IMDb pic
18:30to look more white.
18:40Come on.
18:43Allahu Akbar, Allahu Akbar.
18:45La ilaha illa Allah.
18:48Allahu Akbar.
18:54Hey, Shah Latif here.
18:56I was involved in an incident last night
18:58at the King's Museum
18:59that was both unfortunate and avoidable.
19:01And I'm deeply sorry.
19:03Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey,
19:04you fucking pathetic.
19:07Bismillahirrahmanirrahim.
19:10Alhamdulillahirrabbilalameen.
19:11Shah Latif here.
19:12Last night at the King's Museum,
19:14I fucked up a guy running at me
19:16with a metal object
19:17and apparently I'm the one
19:18who has to apologize.
19:24Hi, Shah Latif here.
19:26Literally nothing to apologize for.
19:28Trying to save my career
19:29and my life.
19:30So fuck you and your little TikTok,
19:32you little...
19:38Assamuya Allah, Uliman Hamidah.
20:04Hello?
20:07Yeah, hi, is this Sid?
20:09Uh, yeah.
20:10Hi.
20:11Hi, this is Shah Latif.
20:13Is it?
20:14Actually.
20:15Yeah, it is actually.
20:16Bro, I just want to say
20:18I am so, so sorry
20:22for what happened yesterday.
20:24No excuses.
20:25I was bang out of order.
20:29I just don't know what came over me.
20:31I really hope you can find it
20:32in your heart to...
20:35Please forgive me.
20:36Yo, man.
20:37I appreciate this, man.
20:40Like, I really do.
20:40I was going to call my lawyers,
20:43but then the fact you called, man...
20:45Oh, bro, he's been eating me up
20:47the whole day.
20:47I can't tell you how much this means, man.
20:49Legit.
20:53Well...
20:53Do you mind just sending me
20:54what you just said?
20:56Like, in a recording?
20:59Sorry?
21:00I need the engagement, bro.
21:02Right.
21:03I mean, I...
21:04I guess so.
21:05Nice, Ryan.
21:06Appreciate it.
21:07All right.
21:07Oh, and thanks for the follow, mate.
21:09Just remember,
21:10keep the vid under 90
21:11for the algorithm, yeah?
21:14Mm-hmm.
21:14I will do.
21:15All right.
21:16See you.
21:16See you.
21:37What happened?
21:38He fell.
21:38Move.
21:39Why was he praying on a chair already?
21:41Oh, you want to sit down?
21:42Yeah.
21:42Come on.
21:44How's your breathing?
21:45Okay?
21:46You okay?
21:47Huh?
21:47Why didn't you sit him down?
21:48But now you want to be involved.
21:49What the fuck's that supposed to be?
21:50I'm doing something inside.
21:51You're for yourself.
21:51Don't come at me.
21:52You always fucking want to be the hero
21:54and you're never around.
21:54All right.
21:55All right.
21:56Come on, mate.
21:57Baba?
21:58Is anyone getting any water?
21:59Yeah.
22:00I'm glad you want to get a blanket or something.
22:05Are you good, bro?
22:07Bro, are you good?
22:08Are you dumb?
22:10He's a fucking diabetic
22:12and you're giving him boxes of sweets.
22:13Shabbat, bit up.
22:14All right.
22:15Shabbat, just fuck off again, yeah?
22:16You better when I'm not around.
22:17That's what you're saying.
22:18No, no, he's not my dad.
22:19He's your dad.
22:19Shabbat, huh?
22:20Shabbat, you.
22:22You know what?
22:22You think you're a fucking bad man.
22:24Yeah?
22:24Fucking, yeah, my people is my...
22:26How the fuck are you going to help your people
22:27if you're too busy sucking white people's dicks?
22:31It's okay with me.
22:31You're just crying about it last night, bro.
22:33What?
22:33You came in to take care of me.
22:34You came for a free fucking meal, bro.
22:35I saw you giving out your little business cards.
22:36That's some sweet little mini-caps driver, bro.
22:38Shut up, blow it, blow it, bro.
22:39He's a leech, man.
22:40He's been leeching off me my whole life.
22:42What are you now trying to leech off this dickhead?
22:44Bro, he doesn't care about your shitty ideas.
22:46He's trying to chirp your little sister.
22:48What?
22:48Only chirping.
22:49I love her.
22:50All right, what the fuck, man?
22:51Are you fucking...
22:52Are you mad?
22:53Listen, don't listen to him.
22:54He's lost the fucking plot.
22:55He's been chatting to a pig's head in the freezer.
22:56What?
22:57What freezer?
22:57In the garage and he's been talking to it.
22:59You sure you're talking to a pig's head?
23:00What if I have?
23:01What?
23:01What if I have?
23:02Better listener than any of you lot?
23:04Well, that's what happens when you're related to you guys.
23:05I'm not the first family member to lose my mind.
23:07Hey, he's not.
23:10Chalo, Shahjoo.
23:13Why are you?
23:13Why are you saying Nikaljau to me?
23:15No, no, I'm asking.
23:16Why is he saying that to me?
23:17Baba, what did I do?
23:18What did I do?
23:18I'm trying to fucking make a difference.
23:19I'm not just sat there fucking complaining about everything.
23:22Well, you lot would judge me.
23:23Huh?
23:23Why are you fucking touching me?
23:25Don't touch me.
23:25Shh.
23:26I'm trying to change the world.
23:27All right?
23:28So anyone doesn't look at you and think you're some fucking worthless thinking.
23:31Peter, Paki, look at me.
23:33Get the fuck out of here, Vospo.
23:35I've got a problem, am I?
23:36She blames you for what happened to your mom, bro.
23:38Shut up!
23:42Don't you?
23:47Let's go.
23:49That was, I love you.
23:56Yemba, you are not.
23:59Let's go.
24:00I love you.
24:01I love you.
24:02I love you.
24:07I love you.
24:08I love you
24:15I love you
24:20Two people
24:22I love you
24:25One of my own
24:28And one of my own
24:30I love you
24:31I love you
24:32I love you
24:35And I love you
24:38I love you
24:40I love you
24:41But I love you
24:44Give me a kir
24:46But I love you
24:48And I love you
24:50I love you
24:51I am so happy
24:53I love you
24:57Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.
25:31Oh, oh, oh.
26:24Oh, oh, oh, oh.
26:27Oh, oh, oh.
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