- 11 hours ago
Purge of Kingdoms- The Unauthorized Game of Thrones Parody (2019) [Full Movie] [Full Version]Full EP - Full
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Short filmTranscript
00:00:28Transcription by CastingWords
00:00:35Eight kingdoms
00:00:39One fat king to rule them all
00:00:43Does that work for you guys? Is the accent good?
00:00:46Nope, I'm not doing it again
00:00:47And what the hell are we looking at here?
00:00:50Is this an alien abduction movie?
00:00:52Change this
00:00:53But ruling them isn't enough for this king
00:00:58What's this now?
00:00:59A dark room full of pot smokers
00:01:01This is how we're starting the movie
00:01:03Change
00:01:04Our story begins here
00:01:07In this wild western world
00:01:12What the fuck is this?
00:01:14You know what? Forget it
00:01:16Just start this shit
00:01:21Peasants of wild western world
00:01:23Welcome to the sporting event of the weekend
00:01:35It's Aeneas
00:01:37It's A-E-N-E-A-S
00:01:44I think I'm going to go and
00:01:45I think we're going to go over to the tent
00:01:48And have the cocksuckers
00:01:49Okay
00:01:51Oh fuck
00:01:51I think I just farted
00:01:53I just farted
00:01:53I think I just shat in my mouth
00:02:02Myself cleaned up
00:02:03Fuck off
00:02:04Master of secrets
00:02:05Let's go
00:02:09No
00:02:11What is this anus shit?
00:02:15His name is Aeneas
00:02:16A-E-N-E-A-S
00:02:18You fucking peasants
00:02:20Are so fucking uneducated
00:02:22Anus
00:02:23Put the fucking sides away
00:02:31Hello girls
00:02:49My name is Aeneas
00:02:52A-N-U-S
00:02:59Ah
00:03:00E-E-E-N-U-S
00:03:09GRO宝
00:03:11GRO宝
00:03:11GRO宝
00:03:13Oh, my God.
00:03:45Oh, my God.
00:04:24I said wine.
00:04:25Give me some wine now.
00:04:28Don't fucking spill it on me.
00:04:29You fucking idiot.
00:04:43Yes?
00:04:45My Lord.
00:04:45Yes.
00:04:47I have seen him.
00:04:51Who have you seen?
00:04:53The one who predicts our future.
00:04:55The one who makes us envious.
00:04:58The one who paints pictures of life and death with one fell swoop of a tweet.
00:05:15You brought me here for this?
00:05:17I swear he was out here.
00:05:20Sport.
00:05:22More.
00:05:38Wow.
00:05:39Wow.
00:05:40Man.
00:05:41He came back.
00:05:42Man.
00:05:43It's such an honor.
00:05:44It's like a cool man. Wow
00:05:48I've seen your future. Yeah, I mean look at that. It's so bright. I gotta wear shades. You know I'm
00:05:53saying
00:05:55Unless you quit the violence around here. Yeah, all you motherfuckers are gonna die
00:06:00Now I'm telling you want to be in any more books or TV shows y'all better stop killing each
00:06:06other
00:06:15And it shall be decreed thus
00:06:18No longer shall we live in a land where the defenseless fall prey to vicious predators and
00:06:24Sexual deviance let us restore the peace which our ancestors once enjoy
00:06:29Excuse me my lord, but there has never been peace in wild west the world. No
00:06:36No, okay
00:06:37Okay, um
00:06:39Let it thus be the creed that it is time to come out of the dark ages into a new
00:06:44age of everlasting
00:06:46Peace, and that is why I want you to join us here at Kingshire tomorrow sundown
00:06:52For purge fest 3000
00:06:56Sounds good, doesn't it? I'm sorry my lord, but did you say
00:07:01Purge? Yes, yes you impotent cocks. Yes, I did
00:07:07It isn't the purge where you violently remove a couple of people. No, no, no, no
00:07:11It's more like a bar mitzvah with music and just a few whores make sure the big tits, you know,
00:07:16I like the big tits
00:07:16You know that after you've sent out the invites and
00:07:21Everyone comes to the party and we've ushered them all into the hall
00:07:27I want you to make sure that the doors to the hall
00:07:31Are locked from the outside
00:07:38And then I want you to
00:07:41Make sure that we have plenty of dragon fire
00:07:46Because I'm going to burn
00:07:50Everyone alive
00:08:15Thank you. Thank you. No, really really. Thank you. It was nothing
00:08:21Now it's your turn baby brother
00:08:26Brendan what are you doing? It's your turn. Hold on. Hold on. I almost got my access. Oh
00:08:32Don't go away
00:08:35Oh dog, our father lord denard stork is watching and so is our mother lady stork and your ginger sister
00:08:41sancia
00:08:43And the polish baker the puerto rican gardener the carpenter and a guy named carlos
00:09:09Okay, okay, okay, which one of you was the marksman at 10
00:09:15I
00:09:15See
00:09:17Well keep practicing brendan you'll get there soon enough
00:09:21I don't want to pressure you anything
00:09:23But you're embarrassing our entire house try to at least hit something near the target this time here. Just shoot
00:09:27Yeah
00:09:28Ow ow ow ow ow ow i'm all right. I'm okay. I'm fine. It's okay
00:09:42So what's happening it's stuck oh well we did our best didn't we that's all they can ask for
00:09:49Look
00:09:51That's him
00:09:52My god, he's us
00:09:55Excuse me
00:09:57What's up you horny bitches can I get an autograph?
00:10:03I mean nothing's up really we're just talking about going to get some cheeses right guys yeah
00:10:11What about the wall it gave you stop commander doe well do this your fashion
00:10:18Ah
00:10:19Get some help here brothers. Yes. Yes. Yes
00:10:23Paul
00:10:24Paul
00:10:30Why are you grabbing my nipples?
00:10:33Uh
00:10:33I saw the other guys
00:10:37Helping so I thought I join in
00:10:39How does that help the gate come down?
00:10:41Yes, well indeed yeah good point uh my deepest apologies it won't happen again
00:10:49Then
00:10:50This is what you get when you let lord trumpet the orange build the wall with the outsider's money
00:11:00Then get the torches there's someone coming
00:11:06Hello everybody
00:11:08It's me lord
00:11:10Trumpet of orange and I want to give you an update on
00:11:14My ratings they're incredible they're amazing they're tremendous talk about the wall sir shut up miller
00:11:22This amazing wall which I installed and was paid for by the brown people who by the way did not
00:11:30vote for me
00:11:31Very stupid and sad frankly no brown people sir this wall
00:11:37Was built with the finest wood in all of wild western world and as you can see it's huge
00:11:45Just like my penis
00:11:50Oh
00:11:52My stars
00:11:54You
00:11:55Down
00:11:56Down
00:11:57Down
00:11:57Down
00:11:59Down
00:12:04Oh! Ride me! Ride me to the end of the world, you beast!
00:12:14Denise, my skanky slutty sister!
00:12:17There you are. Look what just arrived from King Shire.
00:12:25It looks like the invitation to a party.
00:12:31When they write the history of my reign, it will start today.
00:12:38How exciting. What day is it?
00:12:41February 31st. Now we shall travel to King Shire at once and deliver a special surprise to our friend, the
00:12:47King.
00:12:47I thought you hated the King.
00:12:49Of course I hate him. He's fluctuating all over my throne.
00:12:51But if you hate him, then why will you give him a surprise?
00:12:55Never mind. Just pack up your things and bring the savage with you.
00:13:07Good evening.
00:13:09We're going to a party. In King Shire.
00:13:12Are there snacks?
00:13:13More snacks than you can imagine.
00:13:16Can I come?
00:13:16Of course you can come! You're the surprise.
00:13:19Wait, I'm not popping out of a cake again.
00:13:21What? We're going to give him our dragon?
00:13:24No, no, not exactly.
00:13:27We shall hide Piff inside a pie and the King will cut it and then Piff will pop out and
00:13:30eat the King in front of everyone and I will be the new ruler of Wild Westerworld.
00:13:34Wait, did you just say eat the King?
00:13:36Yes, I did. Do you have a problem with that?
00:13:39Well, I'm actually a pescatarian, so I don't eat any living creature apart from fish because they deserve it because
00:13:46they're dickheads.
00:13:46Well, then just chew his head off and spit it out, what do I care, as long as he dies.
00:13:51Can I choke him out? Because I'm not very good around blood.
00:13:53Yes, yes, I just need him dead.
00:13:55Hold on. I've got a better idea.
00:13:59What about Killer here?
00:14:00Uh, no. You will do the killing.
00:14:04Well, I've already named him Killer, so it just seems appropriate that he should kill.
00:14:07I said no, you will kill him.
00:14:09Fine. I'll kill him. He'll be dead to you. Just like you're dead to me.
00:14:15You mean me by the power of horse shit when he's down with you?
00:14:18Which one?
00:14:25Diego.
00:14:26My moon and my stars.
00:14:28Can you go harder?
00:14:32Harder. Harder like you're taking me to the moon.
00:14:35You want to go to the moon? I'm going to go to the moon.
00:14:37Yes, yes!
00:14:57Boys, parties, style, fame, glamour, runway,
00:15:07die
00:15:09babe
00:15:11she likes dasu
00:15:17she likes dasu
00:15:23she likes dasu
00:15:25she likes dasu
00:15:29ah
00:15:33oh my gosh
00:15:36It's got, like, an invitation.
00:15:38It's a party.
00:15:39Clearly, that's for me.
00:15:41This is my pool.
00:15:43Yeah, but...
00:15:57Phone, Sebastian, give me my phone.
00:16:05Oh, my God, me too.
00:16:08Pack your things because we're going to a party.
00:16:14Oh, well, this is, like, genocide, but without the Jews.
00:16:19And bring your own whores.
00:16:22Oh, my God, you're right.
00:16:23We could be the whores.
00:16:26Oh, my God, we're going to be so famous.
00:16:29Come on, come on, come on.
00:16:32Why?
00:16:35Because it's Purge Fest.
00:16:43Oh, no.
00:16:45Oh, no, I told you, guys.
00:16:47Oh, I told you we should have gone here now.
00:16:49We're going to die.
00:16:51God help us.
00:16:53Where are you going, you fucking cowards?
00:16:57Johnny, do something.
00:16:59Do the hair.
00:17:01Yes.
00:17:03Do dance magic.
00:17:05Yeah, do it, Johnny.
00:17:20Shake your hair, bitch.
00:17:22Do it.
00:17:29Oh, that's hot.
00:17:30That's hot.
00:17:31Oh, yeah, yeah.
00:17:32Go for all of them.
00:17:33All of them.
00:17:33All of them.
00:17:37Wow.
00:17:39Fastly.
00:17:47Do it, Johnny.
00:17:50Holy mother.
00:17:53Holy shit.
00:18:00Uncle Tony.
00:18:02Lord.
00:18:03Avaya.
00:18:05Holy shit. How did you do that?
00:18:08Screw my suit. You guys go to the Purge Fest?
00:18:10Ah, my family wouldn't want me there. I'm a bastard.
00:18:12What do you mean your family wouldn't want you there? I'm your family.
00:18:15And you know what you need? You need some makeup. Make yourself pretty on the inside.
00:18:19Does that work?
00:18:20Does it work? I think I met your mother.
00:18:22You know my mother?
00:18:23Of course I know your mother. I'm your uncle.
00:18:24Who is she?
00:18:25Listen, I'm gonna go to the Purge Fest. You'll meet your mother.
00:18:28I can't go right now. I gotta go out of the Segovia. I got a hot widow in a castle.
00:18:32And she's waiting for me. But you guys will see at Purge Fest.
00:18:36Alright, good. Alright, later guys.
00:18:38Well, everyone has their way down for me.
00:18:42Sorry, Father. I was aiming for a target, but he was in the way.
00:18:46It's okay, boy.
00:18:49Lord Salk, Lady Salk. The guardsmen have returned from the hillside.
00:18:53They've captured the deserter from the wall.
00:18:55Bob tells it meant to saddle the horses.
00:18:57Brendan, you come with me.
00:18:58Are you sure, Dennett?
00:19:00Don't you think he's too young to see such things?
00:19:03He won't be a child forever, my dear.
00:19:06This would be a good lesson for him.
00:19:08Come on, Brendan.
00:19:09I would teach you how to deal with the deserters.
00:19:14I got peanuts!
00:19:16Yeah!
00:19:17Toy heads for the kids!
00:19:19Peanuts!
00:19:20Peanuts!
00:19:22Is there anything you'd like to say in your defense before I deliver your sentence?
00:19:26Yeah.
00:19:27I know I broke my oath, but I'm not a goddamn deserter.
00:19:29I know I should've ran into the wall, I want them.
00:19:31But I saw what I saw, so I wouldn't just fast for me legs to carry it.
00:19:33You might think I deserve to die like a dog.
00:19:35People need a little truth.
00:19:36I might a cat eat all the years, and the devil ate the cat, and that's all.
00:19:40Does anyone understand what this man said?
00:19:43No!
00:19:43Very well.
00:19:45Off with his head!
00:19:47Yeah!
00:19:52Fucking gobshite.
00:19:54In the name of Walter and the House of Falafel...
00:19:56Cut, cut, cut, cut!
00:19:58He can't hear you!
00:19:59Where's the boom guy?
00:20:04Is he Union?
00:20:05No!
00:20:07Yay!
00:20:08I'm free!
00:20:10In the name of Walter of the House of Falafel...
00:20:14I, Dedrick...
00:20:15Son of Fendro...
00:20:16Husband of Lady Stork...
00:20:18Lover of Athena...
00:20:20Katrina...
00:20:20Seraphina...
00:20:21And Salvador...
00:20:23Father...
00:20:23Of McCallum McCockum...
00:20:25Bobbit...
00:20:26Arianna...
00:20:27Sancia...
00:20:28I'll just do it already!
00:20:29Who said that?
00:20:31Father...
00:20:32Sorry, I just...
00:20:33I can't stand the sight of real blood.
00:20:35This is the old white boy.
00:20:36The man who passes the sentence must deliver the blow.
00:20:40Now put that game down.
00:20:41Come here.
00:20:42I'll chop his head off.
00:20:46Hold up.
00:20:49You may go.
00:20:50My boy will hold him down.
00:20:52Now hold it.
00:20:53Hold still.
00:20:55Steady.
00:21:00I told you to stay steady!
00:21:04Here comes Lady Stork.
00:21:05Don't say a word.
00:21:08Oh, hello, my dear.
00:21:10What things are here?
00:21:11Where's Brendan?
00:21:12Uh, he had a small accident, but there's nothing the Major can't fix.
00:21:16We just received an invitation to King Shire for Purge Fest 3000.
00:21:21What is that?
00:21:22A party.
00:21:23To purge all violence from the kingdoms.
00:21:25That is wonderful!
00:21:27I think that you should go alone.
00:21:29Our enemies will be there and it may be dangerous for the children.
00:21:33What say you?
00:21:34Father, Prince Dizzy will be there and I must meet him.
00:21:38He is the love of my life.
00:21:39I'm going to marry him.
00:21:41I want to lie naked in his bed while he drizzles hot honey all over my body.
00:21:46Now, now, don't get upset.
00:21:48There's no safer place in the entire realm than King Shire, my dear.
00:21:52I am certain that nothing bad will happen to us.
00:21:55My children, pack your bags.
00:21:58We're going to the Capitol!
00:22:27The Capitol!
00:22:29The unemployment!
00:22:30The magnificent!
00:22:31And the extremely dignified!
00:22:35Prince Dizzy!
00:22:39That's my voice
00:22:45Ladies, ladies, all the sexy ladies longing for a prince like me.
00:22:52Some of them be cherry ripe
00:22:55Some be lewd and some be shrewd
00:22:58Who are longing for a prince like me?
00:23:02Mongrel, you're in the wrong key.
00:23:05I believe it is the right one, Your Grace.
00:23:08What did you say?
00:23:10That you were right, Your Grace.
00:23:12I believe the only right key
00:23:15is the one that'll open the door to this shithole
00:23:18so we can all get out before this penis starts singing again.
00:23:22What did you call me?
00:23:24You're mostly honourable.
00:23:29Prince Jizzy, of course.
00:23:31That's what I thought.
00:23:34Mongrel, kill him!
00:23:45Mummy!
00:23:46That's it, run to mummy.
00:23:49Give it to mongrel.
00:23:50Go play something funky.
00:23:52Go!
00:23:54Mummy!
00:24:04I like my boy.
00:24:06Yes!
00:24:09Oh!
00:24:10Oh!
00:24:11Hey!
00:24:12Hey!
00:24:12Hey!
00:24:13Hey!
00:24:13Hey!
00:24:14Hey!
00:24:15Hey!
00:24:15Hey!
00:24:21Hey!
00:24:24Hey!
00:24:25Hey!
00:24:26Hey!
00:24:28Good boy!
00:24:37Did you get your invitation to Purge first?
00:24:40I've got it. It's a good plan.
00:24:43Talking about it. It's the stupidest idea I've ever heard.
00:24:47Just another woman with my husband.
00:24:49Stupid, bloody ideas, that drunk bastard.
00:24:53What?
00:24:54It's a brilliant opportunity to kill.
00:24:57What did you say?
00:24:58I said...
00:25:00Purge first is an excellent opportunity to kill your husband.
00:25:07You're not just a beautiful face, are you?
00:25:10You've got stuff going on up there.
00:25:13I love it when you talk dirty to me.
00:25:18After the king is dead, our son will take the throne.
00:25:23Jizzy.
00:25:24Jizzy.
00:25:24Jizzy.
00:25:26Jizzy.
00:25:27Jizzy.
00:25:28Jizzy.
00:25:29Jizzy.
00:25:31Jizzy.
00:25:32Jizzy.
00:25:40Jizzy.
00:25:48Hello, nephew.
00:25:52I heard someone in this direction calling my name.
00:25:55Oh?
00:25:56Oh, honey, you must be hearing things.
00:25:59Why don't you go run along, play with yourself?
00:26:02I'm not finished with your uncle.
00:26:04Can I go shoot peasants for my crossbow?
00:26:05No, honey, not today.
00:26:07I just can't be bothered with any maim bumpkins whining with their wretched families at the castle gates.
00:26:13Please, mother!
00:26:14Not today!
00:26:16Sorry.
00:26:17I'm sorry.
00:26:18I'm sorry!
00:26:23What's this?
00:26:26Is this a toy from the future?
00:26:28Oh, dear God, give your uncle his hand back.
00:26:31Give your uncle his hand back now.
00:26:33No way, it's so much fun.
00:26:35No, you know what?
00:26:37Oh, darling!
00:26:41I changed my mind.
00:26:42You can go shoot the peasants now, darling.
00:26:46Thank you, mother.
00:26:55Oh!
00:26:59Oh!
00:27:01Oh!
00:27:01Oh!
00:27:03Oh!
00:27:03Oh!
00:27:03Oh!
00:27:03Oh!
00:27:04Oh!
00:27:07Hello, everybody.
00:27:09Have you noticed the beautiful white swans behind me?
00:27:15They remind me of my favorite type of people.
00:27:19Graceful and white.
00:27:20Very, very white.
00:27:22Inclusivity, sir.
00:27:24They are so beautiful, and they love me for bringing them into this world almost as much
00:27:32as my beautiful Russian mail order brag.
00:27:36And you know what the best part about the swans is?
00:27:38They're just as racist as I am.
00:27:42Non-racist, sir.
00:27:43Non-racist as I am.
00:27:59It's so beautiful out here.
00:28:02I wonder who planted all these trees.
00:28:05I just spent a fortune in Gardner's.
00:28:10Hey, where are you going, you ass-wife?
00:28:13Come back here.
00:28:14I'll sue you.
00:28:16Where'd he go?
00:28:16I can't believe he did.
00:28:18I can't believe he did.
00:28:18Let's get out.
00:28:20Okay.
00:28:21Okay.
00:28:21Check it.
00:28:23Okay.
00:28:24I'm fine.
00:28:25Okay.
00:28:26Stop.
00:28:27Go.
00:28:28Go.
00:28:31Oh, no.
00:28:32Your tits hanging out.
00:28:33Oh, yeah.
00:28:34You're going to...
00:28:35You're going to...
00:28:36You know who I'm going to see.
00:28:38Yeah.
00:28:39That's true.
00:28:39For sure.
00:28:40That's good.
00:28:41What are we going to do?
00:28:42I don't know.
00:28:43I don't know.
00:28:47You're going to be kidding me right now.
00:28:49When you meet your gods, tell them Shaggy, son of Scooby, on the rock paper.
00:28:58Scissor clan has sent you.
00:29:00Please don't kill me.
00:29:06And...
00:29:08Tell me.
00:29:10Where do women of your physique come from?
00:29:13The hills of Beverly.
00:29:15Do they all have the same curves as you?
00:29:18Most do.
00:29:19Yes.
00:29:21If they can afford it.
00:29:23I think we may have to visit someday.
00:29:25Why?
00:29:27After we kill you.
00:29:28What?
00:29:34Oh.
00:29:35Oh.
00:29:36Oh.
00:29:37Oh.
00:29:37Oh.
00:29:38Oh.
00:29:38Oh.
00:29:39Oh.
00:29:40Oh.
00:29:49Oh.
00:29:49Oh.
00:30:01Oh.
00:30:14Oh.
00:30:16Oh.
00:30:17Oh.
00:30:19Oh, she's fiesty.
00:30:23Give me back my hammer or the family dies.
00:30:26Hang on a second.
00:30:28How many followers do you have?
00:30:36I have five followers.
00:30:40How do you expect me to take you seriously if you only have five followers?
00:30:47How many do you have?
00:30:49Thousands.
00:30:52Where are they?
00:30:53They're in here.
00:30:55And when I make my sex tape, I'll have millions and millions of followers.
00:31:05Well, join the club. Everyone does that around here.
00:31:08Really?
00:31:08Oh, yeah, practically all the time.
00:31:11Yeah.
00:31:13How am I supposed to get famous now?
00:31:26Somebody say famous?
00:31:31Me.
00:31:33Me famous?
00:31:35I can make all you bitches famous.
00:31:40I need it!
00:31:41Free tickets all for me!
00:31:42Oh, my God!
00:31:43Okay, duck, please.
00:31:45Famous!
00:31:48Your Majesty.
00:31:55No!
00:32:00Shut up!
00:32:01Oh, I'm hunting.
00:32:03My apologies, my lord.
00:32:04Yes.
00:32:04You've done it again, your majesty.
00:32:07First shot.
00:32:08Very good.
00:32:10Take that beast.
00:32:11Give it to the cook for tonight's feast.
00:32:16The event is just hours away, my lord.
00:32:19Yes.
00:32:21The, um...
00:32:23Yeah.
00:32:24Spit it out.
00:32:25The dragon fire has disappeared.
00:32:29The dragon fire has disappeared.
00:32:31How does the dragon fire?
00:32:32How does the dragon fire disappear?
00:32:37I'm afraid I do not know, my lord.
00:32:40I'm going to explain one thing to you.
00:32:43You're going to get rid of all those people tonight.
00:32:45I don't care how you do it.
00:32:47You throw them off the castle wall.
00:32:49You drown them in the moat.
00:32:51Feed them to the little beasties of the fucking forest.
00:32:55Use your imagination, will you, man?
00:32:58I want to think of something.
00:32:59Okay.
00:33:00Hold, hold my wand.
00:33:02Hold me.
00:33:02Ah, come here, you little bastard.
00:33:07Ah!
00:33:08Ah!
00:33:09Ah!
00:33:10Ah!
00:33:17Any more bad news you've got for the king today?
00:33:20Lord Deadard Stork and his family are about to arrive.
00:33:24Would you like to...
00:33:26Tweet?
00:33:26Well, yes, of course I'd like to greet.
00:33:30My dear, long-lost friend.
00:33:33I mean, why didn't you bring that up in the first place?
00:33:38Do you want to tell me?
00:33:40You...
00:33:41Come on.
00:33:51The king is like a feather in the air.
00:33:54He goes whichever way the wind blows.
00:33:57And right now, Deadard is blowing him hard.
00:34:17Oh, that's lovely.
00:34:20Good work.
00:34:21Yes.
00:34:32Oh, there we go.
00:34:37Ah!
00:34:41Ah!
00:34:42There we go.
00:34:49Ah!
00:34:51In the middle of nowhere.
00:34:53As we look for nothing.
00:34:54For no reason whatsoever.
00:34:57Hm?
00:34:58The story of my life.
00:35:01A bastard life.
00:35:03I'm bored.
00:35:04I'm bored.
00:35:05We could be on our way to Perchfest right now.
00:35:07I wouldn't want two more bastards.
00:35:09Oh, come on.
00:35:11Half of the people in this kingdom are bastards, and the other half are just inbred morons.
00:35:15Besides, there will be women, entertainment, cheeses.
00:35:22Hm?
00:35:22All the essentials.
00:35:26I'm a bastard child, living on a wall with forty celibate men.
00:35:37Okay.
00:35:38Uh, wait.
00:35:39I...
00:35:39I didn't want to scare you.
00:35:42But, I received a note from an hour earlier that said the storks might be in danger.
00:35:48When did you see him out?
00:35:51Uh...
00:35:52It...
00:35:52It was when I...
00:35:54When I went to the bathroom.
00:35:57I've been with you all day.
00:35:59Who sent it?
00:36:00It was anonymous.
00:36:02I've never heard of him.
00:36:04Where is it?
00:36:06I...
00:36:06I burned it.
00:36:08Why would you burn the message?
00:36:10Because I was afraid it would get into the wrong hands.
00:36:12Look, we can discuss this forever, but the point is we don't have much time if we don't have that
00:36:17now.
00:36:17Your family might be killed.
00:36:19My family doesn't want to see you.
00:36:20Oh, bloody hell.
00:36:22Are you going to sit here mopping all day about not having a mother, or are you going to get
00:36:26up and do something?
00:36:31Let's go to purge bed.
00:36:33Right now.
00:36:36Both of us.
00:36:37Let's do it.
00:36:38Let's do it.
00:36:44Pack your bags.
00:36:45Yes.
00:36:46Get your best dress.
00:36:47Yes.
00:36:48I'll get the car, and we're going to purge.
00:36:50Yes!
00:36:51Yes, let's do it, Johnny!
00:37:03Don't tell me you're playing that stupid game again.
00:37:06It's not stupid.
00:37:07I like it.
00:37:07Promise me you won't play with it while we're in Kingshire.
00:37:11Promise.
00:37:12Hodog, no playing.
00:37:14Hodog, Hodog.
00:37:15I like it.
00:37:32Your Grace.
00:37:36Little gold.
00:37:41And you're so fat, the last time they took out the counterpart.
00:37:45They thought you were a boulder.
00:37:58Just like the old days.
00:38:04Your Grace.
00:38:05Hello, darling.
00:38:07Kind as a fist, as always.
00:38:11And where are the little ones?
00:38:13Ooh.
00:38:15Not so little anymore, huh?
00:38:19Little Bobby.
00:38:20Have you tortured any defenseless little puppies lately?
00:38:25Oh.
00:38:26You must be the tomboy.
00:38:29Hmm?
00:38:29Oh.
00:38:35Hello, in there.
00:38:37Huh?
00:38:38Oh.
00:38:40Oh.
00:38:41Oh, it's the pretty little girly one.
00:38:42She loves to play with the little dollies, does she?
00:38:45The little dollies.
00:38:46Oh!
00:38:51Ah, and what have we?
00:38:53Here we have the athletic little had, don't we?
00:38:54Up and down.
00:38:56Show us those legs.
00:39:01I like pussy.
00:39:03Hot dog.
00:39:03Oh.
00:39:05Pussy.
00:39:06Hot dog.
00:39:06Pussy.
00:39:07Hot dog.
00:39:08Pussy.
00:39:08Hot dog.
00:39:09Mm.
00:39:12Welcome to Pig Shire.
00:39:15Mi casa su casa.
00:39:18Meet the family.
00:39:19Come here.
00:39:21This is Cursi, my wife.
00:39:27And Johnny.
00:39:29Bang, bang, Johnny, we call him.
00:39:31But he likes to bag anything that fucking moves.
00:39:34And Jizzy, my boy.
00:39:36I'm so fucking proud of him.
00:39:39Great shot with that thing.
00:39:41I think he looks just like you.
00:39:43He does, does he?
00:39:44Tell me about this Purge Fest.
00:39:46Why is this big party all of a sudden?
00:39:48You've never done anything like this before.
00:39:50Well, excuse us.
00:39:51We've got a little talk.
00:39:52Come on.
00:39:56You're the best friend I have in the whole wide world.
00:40:00So I'm going to be honest with you.
00:40:02This isn't a party.
00:40:04I'm going to just kill the competition before it kills me.
00:40:06Right?
00:40:07You're becoming paranoid.
00:40:09Eh?
00:40:10Everyone loves you.
00:40:11Me?
00:40:12I give my left tactical for you.
00:40:14Well, that's because you're a moron.
00:40:16Call me what you will.
00:40:17But I still believe in the old ways.
00:40:22Loyalty, honesty, character, and integrity.
00:40:30Okay, I'll go get a snack.
00:40:37Well, I figure out how to murder every single...
00:40:48That is the most disgusting thing I've ever seen.
00:40:51At least use a fork and knife, you pig.
00:40:54And what's taking you so long?
00:40:55I'd like to keep moving.
00:40:57Get to molestate my sister and let me be quiet with my shit.
00:41:02You are an embarrassment to me and our entire family.
00:41:06When I rule the Eight Kingdoms, I will have to educate you properly.
00:41:08You can't just be on a rocking horse with that beast of yours
00:41:13and dining on horse paths with your bare hands.
00:41:16Yeah, me can see.
00:41:18Me go on ti, me go on tu madre.
00:41:21We are part of a dynasty.
00:41:23The greatest dynasty the world has ever known.
00:41:25We are dragons.
00:41:27Well, I'm a dragon.
00:41:28I don't know who you are.
00:41:30Actually, I'm a dragon.
00:41:30How dare you correct me?
00:41:33You say I'm the dragon.
00:41:35You say I'm the dragon.
00:41:36You're the dragon.
00:41:37Say I'm the dragon.
00:41:38You're the dragon.
00:41:38And don't you forget it.
00:41:40And by the way,
00:41:43that's what a real dragon sounds like.
00:41:46Take it easy.
00:41:48Diego's going to get mad.
00:41:50So what if he gets mad?
00:41:51Himisil doesn't even speak the common tongue.
00:41:53He's getting pissed.
00:41:55He may not speak it, but he understands it.
00:41:58I want to go.
00:41:59Now.
00:42:00I want the crown I deserve.
00:42:02You want a crown?
00:42:04I'm going to give you a crown.
00:42:06A crown of shit.
00:42:09What did he say?
00:42:10You said he'll give you your crown.
00:42:13No.
00:42:14What?
00:42:15Denise, what's happening?
00:42:17What is he doing with that bucket?
00:42:18No.
00:42:19No, you keep that away from me.
00:42:20I'm a king.
00:42:21I'm a king.
00:42:22A crown for a king.
00:42:25No.
00:42:27No.
00:42:45I think he's dead.
00:42:46Si.
00:42:53You want some of this?
00:42:54Yes, ladies.
00:42:56Yum, yum, yum, yum, yum, yum.
00:43:00Who's your hosier?
00:43:01Who's your hosier?
00:43:02Who's your hosier?
00:43:03Who's that going?
00:43:04Oh.
00:43:04Oh, no.
00:43:11I'm not using it.
00:43:17I have stolen all the dragon fire and hidden it in the basement.
00:43:26When all the families sit down for the feast, I will burn them and you and I will be the
00:43:34new rulers of the kingdom.
00:43:37Yes, they got you, you nasty little devil.
00:43:40Now, wait till I tell all my friends about you. They won't believe it.
00:43:44Get him!
00:43:46You're quite the little pervert, aren't you?
00:43:48What's happening? What's going on? I was just up here having some fun.
00:43:52Having some fun? Is that what you call it?
00:43:55Playing with my dragon.
00:43:57Clothering the creature, yes?
00:43:58Popping the beast.
00:43:59Chasing the serpent. Tickling the lizard. We get it.
00:44:03What are you doing? You're going to kill him.
00:44:06I'm saving our asses.
00:44:10The kid is just playing dragon.
00:44:15Right.
00:44:20Can I have my jacket on the back, please?
00:44:22This is nothing but numbing your brain and get you in trouble.
00:44:25No, I don't have my jacket on!
00:44:26Come on!
00:44:31It's okay. The game!
00:44:34Still works.
00:44:37He's still alive.
00:44:40It's a miracle.
00:44:51I saw the best joust match the other day.
00:44:55Anus at the tip of his lance into the other guy's neck.
00:44:57There was blood gushing everywhere. It was pretty fun.
00:45:00Sounds interesting.
00:45:04No, I couldn't.
00:45:06Do it.
00:45:09Okay!
00:45:10Please do exactly!
00:45:11Done!
00:45:12...
00:45:24Oh!
00:45:43What is it, my sweet lady?
00:45:45Does mongrel bother you?
00:45:48Away with you, mongrel.
00:45:49You're scaring my lady.
00:45:55There.
00:45:56That's just the two of us.
00:46:00So, what do you like to do for fun?
00:46:02I, uh, sew, cook, masturbate and clean twice a day, in that order.
00:46:10A traditional woman.
00:46:11I like that.
00:46:13I'm not into these women who want to work or fight or talk.
00:46:20Sweet.
00:46:22Take that, fatty!
00:46:25You'll never defeat me.
00:46:27Don't worry, m'lady, I've got this.
00:46:28Why, shouldn't you hurry?
00:46:30You're safe with me.
00:46:30From what?
00:46:31So render your weapon, fat boy.
00:46:33Let go of my girl sister or I'll slice you in half like a loaf of bread.
00:46:37Here, man, relax.
00:46:38I'm not a man.
00:46:39I'm your prince.
00:46:42Dude, seriously.
00:46:43Stop messing around.
00:46:45We're actors on a movie.
00:46:46Don't move.
00:46:47I saw it with my own eyes.
00:46:48You attacked her with your sword.
00:46:49No, he didn't.
00:46:50He's my friend.
00:46:52This.
00:46:54It's just a stick.
00:46:55Do you want it?
00:46:55Oh, God!
00:46:57Do you need...
00:46:58Quiet, my lady.
00:47:00No one can defeat me in combat.
00:47:04Now fight me like a man!
00:47:07Oh!
00:47:08Oh!
00:47:09Oh!
00:47:09Oh!
00:47:13How dare you hit your prince?
00:47:14You aren't a prince.
00:47:17You're a penis.
00:47:18What did she call me?
00:47:19She called you a prince, sir.
00:47:23You're nothing but a little penis.
00:47:26A walking, talking penis.
00:47:31Admit it to everybody here that you're nothing but a penis.
00:47:35Never.
00:47:36Say it!
00:47:37No!
00:47:38No!
00:47:39Ow!
00:47:39Ow!
00:47:40Ow!
00:47:40Mommy!
00:47:41Ow!
00:47:42Mommy!
00:47:49Why don't people like me?
00:47:51They're jealous of you, sir.
00:47:54Am I...
00:47:54Am I good looking?
00:47:56Yeah.
00:47:57Yeah, you are.
00:47:58You hesitated for a bit there?
00:48:00No.
00:48:01No, I didn't.
00:48:01Look, look, you did it again!
00:48:03No.
00:48:04You...
00:48:04You...
00:48:05You...
00:48:06All right, all right, all right.
00:48:09All right, fuck you.
00:48:10You think you're ever going to be king, my boy?
00:48:12You got another thing coming?
00:48:14You're always going to be a little prince who's got a little dick.
00:48:17This is the biggest dick you're ever going to see, my boy.
00:48:20In this water, this reflection is the only dick you're ever going to have.
00:48:29So, are you guys coming with us to Perfvest, or what?
00:48:32Nah, I don't know.
00:48:33I don't think that place is all seen, really.
00:48:41Who is that?
00:48:44The fat one.
00:48:59You two need to leave.
00:49:02There is no place for you in here.
00:49:05Now leave before I smash you with my hammer!
00:49:09Oh, uh, I see.
00:49:12I think I saw another inn a few steps from here.
00:49:15Maybe we should go to that one, shouldn't we?
00:49:18Yeah.
00:49:23Why should we leave?
00:49:25We have the same right to be here as any of you.
00:49:28Who's that, sir?
00:49:31Mary!
00:49:32Oh, no.
00:49:33Oh, no, no, no.
00:49:35On the bar!
00:49:36On the bar!
00:49:46The Meister says it's a miracle he's still alive!
00:49:51Help!
00:49:52Help!
00:49:53Our boy is strong.
00:49:54He won't survive.
00:49:56You're safe.
00:49:56I think someone pushed him out of that tower, Dedet.
00:49:59I think he saw something he shouldn't have seen, and they tried to murder him.
00:50:03Come on!
00:50:04Who would you say, sir?
00:50:05Johnny and Percy!
00:50:07I don't know.
00:50:08The Boltons, the Fry's, the High Pigeon.
00:50:11Could have been anyone.
00:50:12Maybe even the Lay My Sisters.
00:50:14That's outrageous!
00:50:16Those alternate honorable families you're talking about.
00:50:19The Lay My Sisters would never hurt a child.
00:50:21Oh, no.
00:50:26We have to watch our backs, Dedet.
00:50:29You never know who would stab us in the back.
00:50:32I think you need the vets.
00:50:33You're becoming paranoid like the vets are now.
00:50:36Wait, wait, wait!
00:50:37Where are you going?
00:50:38I'm going to get to the bottom of this!
00:50:49Lord Stork, the King, would like to talk to you in private.
00:50:54Yes, of course.
00:50:56I'll be there.
00:51:03what's happening what's happening
00:51:11have you a-hole i'm sorry
00:51:18sex step right up step right up who wants to get a bastard
00:51:26he ain't making a part of those two
00:51:35come on i wasn't any good was i i wasn't any good and i wanted to
00:51:44hello having a wonderful time here oh god i miss your sister you know the old days
00:51:52they were beautiful your sister was a real girl she was such a party a little tits and that little
00:51:57ass of hers ah she was wonderful she reminds me of you a little bit how do you keep your
00:52:02stomach
00:52:02flat like that i have to get on a diet i mean i'm good in bed but i'm not like
00:52:08your sister
00:52:08she could take 45 people one go one time saw her with the camel with it all in her mouth
00:52:15it was
00:52:15quite beautiful in some horrific kind of way anyway do you want to have a little shot with this one
00:52:22you want to have a little shot whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa huh how can i help you my
00:52:28lord
00:52:30what i oh i do need a favor from you whatever it is you can count on me my lord
00:52:36okay you're like
00:52:37my brother yes all right don't interrupt the king now you know that i am surrounded by a bunch of
00:52:42money-grubbing ass-licking scummy little piggy alcoholic people in this kingdom and somebody's
00:52:50gonna try and kill me tonight okay listen listen we've already discussed this don't you don't fear
00:52:58to unground it no one would dare harm a king okay well i happen to disagree with you and therefore
00:53:07i'm
00:53:08going to command you to protect the realm for my little jizzy-wizzy boy so he can come and take
00:53:15all
00:53:15of the things and have it all okay please you can count on me my lord i mean i'm not
00:53:21gonna copy there
00:53:21okay thank you all right all right go on then you want a little shot because i'm gonna go again
00:53:29come here
00:53:56that column won't hit back you know
00:54:00who are you i am master dancer lover and the best swordsman you have ever seen
00:54:12my name is zoryo thuriel
00:54:20oh the grip is a bit slippery excuse me what are you doing here chasing rats
00:54:26part of your training no the rodent situation in king's shire is out of hand
00:54:32sword here catch this sword looks like your reflexes could use some practice pick up your weapon
00:54:43that is not the way boy i'm a girl that cannot be true anyway this is how you pick up
00:54:53a sword
00:55:00that's how you pick up a sword i'm just showing you how not to do it
00:55:08huh wouldn't want to knock yourself in the giggle berries i don't have giggle berries i'm a girl
00:55:20oh
00:55:21oh this sword is all badly balanced last time
00:55:32now that is how you do it now get into the fighting position
00:55:41that is not the fighting position turn to me side-faced
00:55:46sideways yes that is what i said side-faced i have been the first swordman of the bravados for
00:55:52twenty years you must listen to me boy i'm a girl no way where are your boobies then i'm like
00:55:59ten very well then hand side-faced
00:56:04good now try to strike me oh oh you i wasn't expecting that i'm sorry
00:56:13knock the wind out of me let me help you up
00:56:17you have to wait for me to say go okay
00:56:23go not above the shoulders don't have the proper gear for that you're only supposed to eat me in this
00:56:29section here follow me i will teach you to fandango and then perhaps you will become a great swordsman like
00:57:00me
00:57:00ariana what in the name of the old god are you doing zoria was teaching me to fandango
00:57:06zoria furiel at your service we must go first that's about to begin yes father keep practicing
00:57:13and you will go far i must go to chase the rats good luck boy
00:57:23hello everybody it's me lord trumpet here at the tremendous trumpet mace everyone loves this mace
00:57:32you know why because only white people can get through it and brown people get trapped
00:57:39sir
00:57:41sound stuck
00:57:42sound you know
00:57:43sound
00:57:45sound
00:57:46i can't get out
00:57:47sound
00:57:47total
00:57:48sound
00:57:49sound
00:57:49sound
00:57:51oh no johnny
00:57:52sound
00:57:56what did you do kk why do you have to stab him i didn't stab him yes you did your
00:58:03murderer and me
00:58:04i didn't do it okay if you didn't then then then you did it
00:58:10i didn't do it i saw you do it me no i'd never kill john doe you sure about that
00:58:18oh no i did oh yeah oh yeah i did okay well let's just get him into the back room
00:58:24okay
00:58:25oh yeah
00:58:28oh my god
00:58:33800 paces will be in kingshire
00:58:36i will be the first female ruler of all of wild west world my destiny awaits
00:58:47do you have horse hurt by any chance
00:58:50horse hurt
00:58:51i'll show you
00:58:52i'll show you
00:58:53i'll show you
00:58:54okay
00:58:55you make it so sad face
00:58:57okay
00:58:59let's go
00:59:01this way
00:59:04what do we do what do we do
00:59:05it's closed rip them off
00:59:08oh yeah yeah yeah yeah
00:59:09help copy
00:59:11no chance
00:59:12can you get his
00:59:16hello lady boys
00:59:18oh oh look who it is it's the red sorceress oh perhaps you can bring him back to life
00:59:23uh that's not the red sorceress that's her stepdad transgenner
00:59:29all right i'm out
00:59:32what's going on that man saved us from the bad people and now he's dead
00:59:38why are his clothes coming off we just wanted to see what he looked like naked
00:59:43oh oh is that what you're looking for oh i can just tell you what it looks like
00:59:50oh he's so so warm and so so soft
00:59:56leave the room i can't make any promises i need to work my gas fingers
01:00:08come on
01:00:08no no no no
01:00:15yo ya no puedo más no puedo
01:00:19tengo una diarrea terrible
01:00:22y ese corazón de caballo que me diste me cayó como una bomba
01:00:27un paso más
01:00:31y me cago encima
01:00:35vete
01:00:37vete tú sola con tu dragón
01:00:43de mierda
01:00:47at least night a match
01:00:49my son and my stars
01:00:56may i
01:00:58borrow your book
01:01:00my hair is falling all over me
01:01:09here
01:01:12take it
01:01:17burn him
01:01:19gay
01:01:21let's go conquer the eight kingdoms
01:01:23sorry buddy
01:01:28dad
01:01:29are you going to be much longer to just burn a metal line in the pub
01:01:32i'm just doing some magic what do you need
01:01:35i just wanted to make sure everything is okay
01:01:37yes everything is fine just let me finish
01:01:40okay i will
01:01:41die
01:02:05my falling what just happened who did this
01:02:10Who are you?
01:02:11What are you doing in my son's room?
01:02:15Sit up there.
01:02:21That's a funny place to keep a rabbit.
01:02:23Show your face, you coward.
01:02:25Show your face, you...
01:02:29Say it, then, my boy, I would catch the man who was trying to kill you.
01:02:35You were dead.
01:02:36I just blew you back to life.
01:02:40You're not going to put it there, are you?
01:02:43Don't do it.
01:02:48Who is that?
01:02:50Oh, that's Summer.
01:02:52Summer is coming.
01:02:59That must be him.
01:03:12I don't know how you managed to do all of us at once.
01:03:16You're a true master.
01:03:18Well, if I told you my secret, I'd have to kill you both.
01:03:25So close your eyes now.
01:03:27Come on.
01:03:27Both of you, close your eyes.
01:03:29That's it.
01:03:39You can open them now.
01:03:43Your time is up, troll.
01:03:45You're coming with us.
01:03:46Where to?
01:03:47Grab him.
01:03:49Excuse me.
01:03:54Put me down, you shirtless.
01:03:55Oh, come on, troll.
01:03:56Now, wait, wait.
01:03:57I don't take a chance to punch my frequent tour card.
01:04:00Oh, keep it in your pants, troll.
01:04:02Oh, tell me, brother.
01:04:15Hold up.
01:04:17Hold up.
01:04:19Please, look, please.
01:04:21Come on, come on.
01:04:23Get him out.
01:04:24Get him out.
01:04:48Please, look, please.
01:04:51We have to be reasonable about this, Ian.
01:04:53If you explain what it is that you want,
01:04:54I'm sure we can sort it.
01:04:56If I'm not at the Perch Fest in the next couple of hours,
01:04:58all my family's going to come looking for me.
01:05:01Why did you do it?
01:05:03Why did I do what?
01:05:07Why did you do it?
01:05:09If you explain to me what it is that I did,
01:05:11perhaps I can tell you why I did it.
01:05:13Oh, bloody hell.
01:05:24I think I'm chafing from all the walking already.
01:05:28Oh, John, you wouldn't happen to have some of that oil you put on your hair to rub on my
01:05:34thighs, would you?
01:05:39Oh.
01:05:40What?
01:05:40What is it?
01:05:41Is the flesh too bright?
01:05:42No, no.
01:05:43We need to get out of here.
01:05:44Well, there is no way I'm leaving this party early.
01:05:48Stop, stop, stop.
01:05:50Look, I know the future, and shit's about to pop off.
01:05:53Quick, take a photo of me holding the statue's tiny penis.
01:05:57Okay.
01:05:59How's that?
01:06:00Do I look like I'm holding it?
01:06:02Yeah, right on it.
01:06:04That's small enough?
01:06:05Yeah.
01:06:06Okay.
01:06:20Guys, I just farted.
01:06:23Quiet.
01:06:24Seriously, it's like a Dutch oven in here.
01:06:25What's the grapefruit?
01:06:26Oh, grapefruit.
01:06:28It's covered.
01:06:30My grape.
01:06:31Get down.
01:06:32Where is your mother and your brother?
01:06:34Purgefest is about to begin.
01:06:42Welcome to Purgefest 3000.
01:06:46Purgefest.
01:06:48As long as I can remember, my kingdom has been, well, it's been known for its sexual perversions,
01:06:55isn't it?
01:06:56And for its corruption.
01:06:59Violence, its betrayals, and its bloodshed.
01:07:03Purgefest.
01:07:04Purgefest.
01:07:05We're going to put an end to all that.
01:07:09There's going to be no more raping and no more killing around here.
01:07:14We're going to hand in our smartphones because I don't want no more pornography.
01:07:19And we're going to hand in all of our weapons and by, I mean everything, I mean no more kitchen
01:07:25knives, no more forks, nothing you can do nothing with.
01:07:31Didn't they read the invite?
01:07:34Most of the people in our kingdom are illiterate, my lord.
01:07:38They just heard there was free food and a party.
01:07:42I have the king just where I want him.
01:07:46Now, after just a little manipulation of Johnny Bang Bang, then it's just a matter of time before I mount
01:07:56the throne.
01:07:57Enough!
01:07:59Enough!
01:07:59I'm the fucking cake.
01:08:01And I declare that the only one participating in these violent activities is going to be expelled from the Eight
01:08:11Kingdoms.
01:08:16What?
01:08:17What?
01:08:18The storks have kidnapped my little brother.
01:08:20I demand he be released immediately.
01:08:21Wait a minute.
01:08:22No, I mean, you told me this morning you wanted that little fella punished, didn't you?
01:08:27Yes.
01:08:28I despise him.
01:08:30But he is still my little brother.
01:08:31I can't allow a stork to kidnap someone with my own blood.
01:08:35But if they don't return him to us immediately, you must ban them from the Eight Kingdoms according to the
01:08:44declaration you just made.
01:08:51Come on, you wretched Scottsbull, I'm going to get you already.
01:08:55Hold still.
01:08:57Spig troll.
01:08:58Meet your guards as an honest man.
01:09:02Confess.
01:09:02Never.
01:09:04All right, I confess.
01:09:05I confess.
01:09:06I choked him.
01:09:07Then slapped him all around the floor till he bled.
01:09:10I'm an evil man.
01:09:11Who are you talking about?
01:09:12The Lord Commander of the Southern Forces.
01:09:14He's here.
01:09:15In my pants.
01:09:17Would you like to meet him?
01:09:18Tell me the truth.
01:09:20All right, all right, I confess.
01:09:21I'm the reason why all the dragons are extinct.
01:09:23Oh.
01:09:24I screwed them all into the extinction.
01:09:26Oh.
01:09:27I built the wall with my wank hammer.
01:09:29I stabbed the crazy king with my flesh saber.
01:09:32That's enough.
01:09:33You tried to kill my son.
01:09:35Oh, oh, oh.
01:09:37Why would I want to kill your son?
01:09:39I don't know, you tell me.
01:09:41Oh.
01:09:41Oh.
01:09:44What?
01:09:45No more wax.
01:09:46Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.
01:09:55Yes.
01:09:56I got you.
01:09:59Oh, no.
01:10:00Oh, no.
01:10:01Oh, no.
01:10:03What the hell?
01:10:07Oh, shit.
01:10:12What was that?
01:10:14The king gives you fireworks.
01:10:15What the fuck is that?
01:10:20Well, I guess we know what happened to the dragon fire now.
01:10:28You check it out.
01:10:30I'll take care of the troll.
01:10:31Yes, mother.
01:10:33Oh, oh.
01:10:34Oh, oh.
01:10:35It's turning me on you.
01:10:36Oh, oh.
01:10:37Now we will have to find some other way to kill the king.
01:10:41Whoever did this must have known our plans.
01:10:44Where's your mother?
01:10:45She has the troll.
01:10:46She's trying to make him confess.
01:10:48You must go now and tell her to bring him to the feast immediately or entire families
01:10:52could be banned from the eighth kingdom.
01:10:54Yes, father.
01:10:54I should go now.
01:10:55This was the work of a true genius.
01:11:05Yes!
01:11:06I did it!
01:11:08I caught the move!
01:11:10I am the dragon's master!
01:11:22This is so much fun.
01:11:23I'm looking here.
01:11:25Father.
01:11:27Come to help.
01:11:29John.
01:11:30Christ.
01:11:30I thought you were at the wall.
01:11:32I heard you were in trouble, father.
01:11:34Who told you we might be in trouble?
01:11:36My friend Ham.
01:11:37Ham?
01:11:39The fat guy?
01:11:41Yes.
01:11:45Look, just one bite.
01:11:47No.
01:11:49No.
01:11:50I mean, come on.
01:11:52Get out!
01:11:54Where is the troll?
01:11:57I know nothing about the troll.
01:11:59I swear to it.
01:12:00He's lying.
01:12:01Look at him.
01:12:02Release him at once or be banished from the kingdom, my brother.
01:12:07Glow before holes.
01:12:09He is your grace.
01:12:11This troll tried to murder my son.
01:12:15That's not true.
01:12:16I'm innocent.
01:12:18That's a very low thing that you did there, troll.
01:12:22I'm going to have to cut you down to size.
01:12:25Since you're in the arena, I demand a trial by twerking.
01:12:41What's twerking?
01:12:42Allow me your grace to defend my family's honor.
01:12:45No, bastard.
01:12:46As the firstborn, I shall defend my mother's honor.
01:12:49The two of you, sit down.
01:12:51I am the one who must defend my wife's honor.
01:12:55Hey!
01:12:56I will twerk the troll to death!
01:12:59Wait a second.
01:13:00You're four times the size of me.
01:13:02I demand a champion.
01:13:03I have the right.
01:13:04Well, who's your champion going to be?
01:13:08I name my nephew.
01:13:10Gizzy Lays, my sister.
01:13:12Let's see him twerk.
01:13:13Oh, I can't twerk.
01:13:14I'm just a dick.
01:13:16Ha!
01:13:17About time you admitted it.
01:13:19Right.
01:13:20I choose...
01:13:22Hoardog!
01:13:24Hoardog.
01:13:51I do not wish to continue this battle.
01:13:54I will spare Hoardog's life and let the troll live.
01:13:58I demand nothing in return.
01:14:04He was my friend.
01:14:06He could have been somebody instead of a bum.
01:14:09He was my friend.
01:14:19I want you to die!
01:14:30My own wife, my own beautiful wife, what happened to you?
01:14:41Jizzy's not your son.
01:14:53I'm king.
01:14:57I'm king!
01:14:58Yes son, of course you're king.
01:15:00You're king.
01:15:07I'm king.
01:15:09And you're mine.
01:15:13Okay, guards!
01:15:14Kill all the storks.
01:15:16Kill them all!
01:15:17Kill everyone!
01:15:17Wait, except Lancia.
01:15:19I want to give her a pearl necklace.
01:15:20And a foot rub.
01:15:30That's it.
01:15:50You want some, do ya?
01:15:52Do ya?
01:15:53Do ya?
01:15:56No!
01:15:57No!
01:16:01No!
01:16:01No!
01:16:02No!
01:16:05No!
01:16:07No!
01:16:08No!
01:16:09I can't wait!
01:16:10You bastard!
01:16:11Get out of here!
01:16:14Go back to the wall!
01:16:16Go back to the wall!
01:16:19Get out of here!
01:16:23Oh!
01:16:23Get me back to the wall!
01:16:24Stop!
01:16:25Speaker 4, 2, 1, 6 or 3.
01:16:28Oh no!
01:16:29No!
01:16:30Come on!
01:16:30He's got a gun!
01:16:30Don't go!
01:16:30No!
01:16:31He's got a gun!
01:16:34Come on!
01:16:35He's got a gun!
01:16:39No!
01:16:40He's got a gun!
01:17:06Who wants to see a magic trick?
01:17:13I'm melting, melting, melting, melting.
01:17:23This is Trumpet Arena, you don't know anything.
01:17:27But I just want to protect you sir.
01:17:51I'm melting, melting, melting, melting, melting.
01:18:21I'm melting, melting, melting, melting.
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