- 13 minutes ago
Half.Man.S01E01.540p.X265.AAC [Full Movie] [English Subs]Full EP - Full
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Short filmTranscript
00:00Oh
00:53I'm not speaking about this.
00:58You don't have to speak.
01:00You have to listen.
01:03Really?
01:06You picked today.
01:09My fucking wedding.
01:16Come on, Truman, stop messing.
01:21Put your top back on.
01:34Oh, for fuck's sake.
01:45Oh, Niall.
01:53Come here.
01:55Come here.
02:02I'm proud of you, yeah?
02:05You know that?
02:13You look gorgeous, so you do.
02:15I tell you, if I wasn't family, I'd get up and underneath that kilt right away.
02:20No, Ruben, don't.
02:21What?
02:22I tell you, you look gorgeous.
02:24Come on, show me.
02:24There's nothing to show, Ruben.
02:25I've got boxes on underneath, for Christ's sake.
02:27Oh, boxers.
02:28Stop teasing me, you little mate.
02:33Hey.
02:34Yeah.
02:35Come here, look at me.
02:36Look at me.
02:38That's it.
02:41Look at me.
02:44We may not flow through each other's veins, but we flow through each other's brains, you
02:49get me?
02:50Please, I don't think that...
02:50One more time, eh?
02:52For all time's sake.
02:54I just need to hear it.
02:57Before I lose you forever.
02:58You're not serious.
03:01Go on.
03:02Say it.
03:03What am I?
03:08Your brother from...
03:16You're not a lover.
03:21You're not a lover.
03:23Beautiful.
03:36You're not a lover.
03:37No!
03:51Come on, give us your best, you little fike.
04:04What is this now?
04:06Oh, fucking Snickers, Indiana Jones, that film is gay as fuck.
04:14I'm gonna have these.
04:16No, please, Gus!
04:20You can keep one, okay?
04:23I'm not a monster.
04:25Pick one.
04:29Second to last.
04:30Good.
04:32I'm not a monster.
04:52I'm not a monster.
05:00Okay, degenerate, settle down, settle down
05:06Right, as we know, the prelim exams start this week
05:10Are we aware of how important they are?
05:16Prelims are your safety net
05:18For whatever reason, you miss your finals
05:20You get hit by a bus
05:22You come down with a bubonic plague
05:24These exams are your get out of jail with an appeals card
05:28Have I emphasised their importance enough?
05:34Positively spellbinding
05:37Right, moving on
05:38I should probably make you aware that a new student will be joining the class from tomorrow
05:43One Reuben Pallister
05:46What?
05:49Some of them are, Kennedy
05:51No, it's just...
05:54Did you just say Reuben Pallister?
05:58That's right
05:58A new pupil you can show off your sparkling personality to
06:04Reuben will be transferring from Pullman Young Offenders Institute
06:07And will be re-sitting two years
06:09Which means he'll be a little more feral than the rest of you
06:13Any questions?
06:17Nobody
06:17Good
06:18Good
06:18Open your jars
06:19We'll pick up where we left off you
06:21After a day
06:22Page 16
06:26Kennedy
06:27Did you listen to what I just said?
06:30What?
06:30Yeah
06:31Of course
06:33What did I just say then?
06:37Reuben's back
06:50Mum
06:50It's Niall
06:52Honey, I'm working
06:52What is it?
06:53It's Reuben
06:53He's out
06:54He's coming to school
06:55Look, now is not the time, alright?
06:57He's not staying with us, is he?
06:58We can talk about this when I pick you up
07:00But Mum
07:21You should have said about her then
07:22Don't piss yourself
07:23You're a 15-year-old boy
07:26Giving your life
07:26I don't need to give you respect
07:32Look
07:33I'm sorry
07:34Okay
07:35I should have told you
07:37I'm keeping with the theme of surprises
07:39He's moved into your room
07:42What?
07:42No way
07:43What did you think that second bed was for?
07:44We were almost begging you to ask
07:46I thought it was for guests
07:47He is a guest
07:48No
07:48He's not
07:49He's a psycho
07:50He bit someone's nose off
07:51I've seen the guy too
07:52It's horrible
07:53His wife left him and everything
08:03Look, you're not to talk about this, okay?
08:05Nobody in this town knows about that
08:07The last thing that boy needs is folk whispering
08:09Don't bite people's noses often
08:11No, shh
08:11You're not to speak this way in front tomorrow
08:13Alright?
08:13Oh, you always put her first
08:14She was only supposed to be living with us for six months
08:17And now her kid is moving in
08:18Come on, Mum
08:19He's a psycho
08:20Her son getting out is a big deal
08:22He's been away for two years
08:24For Christ's sake
08:25This is happening, Niall
08:27So get used to it
08:28How come he's been noticed?
08:35Oh, come on
08:36Come on
08:46Then her body will stand
08:50Who's going to go with her?
08:52She was waiting, isn't her?
08:57She was being quiteArt
09:22Remember me, Bambi?
09:24Last time I saw you, you were about yay high.
09:33Grown at least two feet since then, maybe more.
09:36You've got the exact same size head though, creeping me out a bit.
09:46You helping or what?
09:48We can't have this shit up.
09:50I'm off for bringing Buds home.
09:52Yeah.
09:56Get to it then, Bambi.
09:58Grab a bag.
09:58Get stuff in.
10:07Yeah.
10:08Take that poster down and put this up.
10:26Put it up then, you dick.
10:54What the fuck are you staring at?
10:58What?
11:00Nothing.
11:26Looks like Pallister's a no-show.
11:28Off to a great start.
11:31All right, everyone, open your jotters.
11:33We'll pick up from yesterday.
11:39Right, what's going on here?
11:49Kennedy.
11:52Open your jotter.
11:55No.
11:57Open, boy.
12:06Who did this?
12:08Oh, no.
12:09Come on.
12:12Uh, me, sir.
12:15You?
12:16You called your own mum a dyke?
12:18No, I called someone else's mum a dyke.
12:21Really?
12:22I know firsthand from your essays.
12:24Your grasp of irony isn't that strong.
12:28So, come on.
12:29Who did this?
12:34My mum is not a lesbian.
12:36I beg your pardon?
12:37I said, my mum is not a fucking lesbian.
12:43Look, come with me.
12:45Go off me, you nods.
12:47What did you say?
12:48Like to touch young boys, do you?
12:50You fucking old poof.
12:53I'm just wondering if there's something else we should be worrying about.
12:56What are you insinuating?
12:57All I'm saying is I've seen a change in Niall recently.
13:00Then what change is that, then?
13:01Look, he's gone from being a committed, gifted student to one that acts out in most lessons.
13:05Sir, go on.
13:06I know you want to.
13:07Look, we have to call into question Niall's rather unusual state of affairs at home.
13:10You don't know anything about my damn home.
13:28You fucking fucking bastard, man!
13:35Oi, Rook!
13:37I know you're up there!
13:38What?
13:40I've seen about.
13:41I am what?
13:43Okay, reason!
13:45Is that your dad?
13:46Shut the fuck up.
13:47I'll wait, no consumer!
13:53You're not a muck.
13:55I'm not these fucking muck.
13:57You get down here and explain why you stay with that dite!
14:03And not me!
14:05Ruben, son.
14:07Let's start again, eh?
14:09I think you give your old man a big hug, eh?
14:15I don't think I can't see you, boy!
14:18I see you by the fucking color we've learned before!
14:22I'll get, I'll get mum.
14:23I'll be with a bitch!
14:25We're in a bitch!
14:26Don't shoot her.
14:27Fucking deal.
14:31Not a word, okay?
14:33Not a fucking word.
14:35aaaave, son.
14:36God?
14:38God полез the rest!
14:39Don't you shut your mouth up!
14:41Fuck!
14:42No!
14:42You don't tell anyone about this!
14:44Do you understand?
14:45This never happened!
14:47No!
14:48No!
14:50No!
14:51No!
14:51I don't know.
15:22I don't know.
16:03I don't know.
16:15I don't know.
16:16So, boys, I am not sure whether you heard all that commotion last night.
16:28Now we were asleep, both of us.
16:34Oh, right. Well, that's okay then. Ignore me.
16:59What the fuck are you staring at?
17:02Just seeing if you're all right.
17:04Why wouldn't I be?
17:05It's just last night.
17:06Fuck last night.
17:08Oh, yeah. Absolutely.
17:10Fuck last night.
17:18So, are you nervous, or?
17:20How the fuck would I be nervous?
17:21Well, first day of school.
17:23This is Dalkenny.
17:24This is where the fairies go.
17:25Oi, soft cock.
17:27Are you a boyfriend?
17:30Ignore them.
17:32Are these guys bothering you, Bambi?
17:33No, it's just banter.
17:35Big up there, I'm under you, you little faggot.
17:38Great banter.
17:42Are these guys bothering you, Bambi?
17:46I'll ask you again.
17:48Are these guys bothering you?
18:00Is that a knife?
18:01Go to school.
18:02What?
18:02Go to school.
18:03You're not a witness if you don't see what happens.
18:04Look, I...
18:05Just fucking go.
18:08Ah.
18:40And at the heart of this relentless conflict...
18:43lies a love story.
18:47Ah, Mr. Pallister.
18:49Nice of you to fit us into your busy schedule.
18:52Boys and girls, this is Ruben.
18:54Ruben will be joining us from now on.
18:59Where's your school uniform?
19:00On your mother's floor.
19:03That's enough, everyone.
19:06Desk at the back.
19:10And for the record, my mum's dead.
19:11So extra points for nihilism.
19:20Right.
19:21As I was saying,
19:22two households like families.
19:25Both are better views.
19:27Cuts.
19:30I'm not sure.
19:33No, no, no.
19:33I'm not.
19:49I'm not.
20:00you've been working out now certainly has then there's only an inch of space when i cut my hand
20:06around his bicep used to be at least two three maybe i'm going to my room don't sit down you
20:13a little killjoy we need you to persuade rabin to go to the exam tomorrow what no way now please
20:30do this for us what are you doing stop that i'm not a kid that's exactly what you are off
20:37me oh come on
20:38do this for me come on i need you to do this come on please come on come on come
20:45on just this one
20:46please i said go off me
20:57i'll take it from here
21:08okay
21:10that's
21:12you left fairly sizeable nice fire in their apartment
21:16she's making all the effort in the world
21:18i don't care we're not friends we never will be
21:23come on fancy the pants off of her when you were a wee in remember the love letters we'd send
21:28to her house on valentine's day
21:35fine playtime's over
21:39look will you speak to him at least no
21:42no he's terrifying
21:43come on nile
21:45you wouldn't believe how hard mora had to work to get ruben into dulcanny
21:49she's changed her postcodes and everything
21:52he's on probation too so he needs to show up and pass this prelim
21:55for the school kick him out
22:10I just saw the point that everybody shows us in the light of the sun
22:15of the sun
22:16of the sun
22:18our fire
22:23there's no more
22:25I said no, I'm not gonna say no, never, never, ever.
22:34Things got better, did to what I never said, till my mouth become dead, which ain't not all that clever.
22:43And it's not saying one thing, no, not another, rather, nor is it anything I haven't said, whatever.
22:54What's this, Eve?
22:55What, what do you mean?
22:56Am I speaking foreign?
22:57That's what it does.
22:58You tell anyone about this, I will put you to sleep, do you understand?
23:01I won't.
23:02I mean, I thought it was great.
23:04Thought it was great.
23:30What do you want?
23:32Just a quick something that's come to me just now, in the moment.
23:39I was thinking about the exam tomorrow.
23:41Fuck off.
23:42Right you are.
24:10You're dead.
24:18What about him?
24:21How old were you again?
24:26I was eight.
24:28When I died.
24:32What did he do again?
24:39He was a writer.
24:41Yeah?
24:43I don't remember that.
24:45Well, he worked in a pub mainly, but he wanted to be a writer.
24:50And what did he write about?
25:04He was really good though.
25:06I've read all his stuff.
25:08He was so close to getting published in the end.
25:11What stopped him?
25:13Well.
25:16Death.
25:30That's why I want to give it a shot myself, you know.
25:32You're right too.
25:34Like, I keep a diary.
25:36That doesn't count.
25:37Try sending that to Anne Frank.
25:38Who?
25:41No, she was just...
25:45It doesn't matter.
25:56What happened to Gus?
26:02He'll survive.
26:07I just thought with the knife you'd done something, you know, really bad.
26:15Almost did.
26:17And I'm up against the wall with it, guppy and like mad.
26:22Whispered.
26:22It'll be over soon.
26:25So he thought for a second I was going to stick it in him proper.
26:29It'll be over soon.
26:34I love seeing that.
26:37You really get a sense of what a cunt looks like when they think they're going to die.
26:42You sort of infant-like.
26:44It's all innocent and shit's weird.
26:48It'll be over soon.
26:59It'll be over soon.
27:00Night, Bumpers.
27:04Night.
27:17Where's a bulldog now, eh?
27:18A goth!
27:18It's not the way you tell us where Gus is.
27:20I don't know.
27:21We know you live with that inbred prick.
27:22You're bound to have said something.
27:23We don't talk.
27:25No.
27:25God.
27:27Oi!
27:41Leave me alone.
27:43Leave me alone.
27:47Leave me alone.
27:56Leave me alone.
27:57I'm in this one.
28:10I'm in this one.
28:11Leave you alone.
28:12Take care.
28:16I'm in this one.
28:17I've been in this one.
28:17Oh!
28:18I do not blame it.
28:20I don't blame it.
28:22I'll blame it.
28:22I'm in this one.
28:40Let's smoke this, son of a bitch!
28:42Woo! Woo!
28:44Come on! Come on!
28:45Pallister, nice of you to join.
28:47Please refrain from shouting out.
28:49It's only prelims. Where am I sitting?
28:51There's an empty chair there, two rows along.
28:54Please move quietly.
28:55Hmph.
29:39All right, guys. We have ten minutes left.
29:42Ten minutes? Get fucked.
29:43Language, Pallister.
29:45I started later than everyone.
29:46Well, I'm afraid the onus is on you there.
29:48Piss off, Jenkins. I shagged your mum in her onus.
29:53Pallister, get back here.
29:56Pallister.
29:57Don't you walk away from me, son.
29:59Oi! I'm speaking to you.
30:31All right, guys. Not long now.
30:33Don't you walk away from me, son.
30:36I'm speaking to you.
30:37I'm speaking to you.
31:17The school fund.
31:18Oh, Jesus. What now?
31:21Reuben passed.
31:23He passed the prelim.
31:26He can stay in school now.
31:29Oh. Really?
31:31Yeah.
31:34You helped him, didn't you?
31:36Oh, no, I...
31:38Last night, I heard you talking.
31:45I mean that.
31:49I know we haven't always seen it eye to eye.
31:52Mainly because you're a little brat who blames me for everything.
31:56I do think you could be a positive influence on my boy.
32:04Thanks.
32:07I think.
32:15Nah, that feels weird.
32:19Let's never do that again.
32:20Let's just do it.
32:51Bambi's sleeping.
33:03Isn't it a bit weird doing this with a wee Nile in the room?
33:06No, I don't care.
33:07I passed the prelims today and I did it in a speck at the time every other fucker.
33:11Stop it, Ruben.
33:11If I swear anymore, I'm going to put my back out.
33:15Shh!
33:15I don't.
33:16I thought you said you didn't care about him hearing.
33:18I don't.
33:19I just don't want my mum rubbing one out all week.
33:23Yeah.
33:24TV's off.
33:25I want to feel your skin.
33:27Oh, baby.
33:47Okay.
33:48Here, here, here.
34:09What?
34:11No, I was sleeping.
34:11Fuck off.
34:13We saw you.
34:14I wasn't.
34:15I was sleeping.
34:15Liar.
34:16At least admit it, you little scrote.
34:18You were perving.
34:19Pervy little Nile Kennedy, eh?
34:23So, tell me.
34:26Did you see anything that you liked?
34:33Quite something, huh?
34:35Is this the first time you've seen a naked woman?
34:40In the flesh.
34:44And what do you think?
34:48She...
34:49She...
34:49She...
34:50She...
34:50She looks...
34:50What would you do to her, Niall?
34:52If you could have your way?
34:56Go on.
34:58I...
34:59I would...
35:00I'd...
35:01I'd...
35:01I'd...
35:02I'd...
35:02I'd ask her for...
35:02her permission.
35:03Obviously.
35:04Fucking loser, aren't you, Bambi?
35:06Touch my breath, Niall.
35:08What?
35:09What?
35:22Here.
35:23Let's see how he's getting on, shall we?
35:25Huh?
35:26What?
35:26No, no, no, no.
35:27Wait, wait, wait, wait.
35:27No, no, no, no, no.
35:28That's fine, Bambi.
35:30Just relax, okay?
35:31Let her do her thing.
35:47Wow.
35:49Nothing.
35:50What's going on?
35:51You got something against Mona?
35:52Is it my boobs?
35:53What?
35:54No, no, it's just...
35:55This isn't how I pictured it.
35:57How did you picture it, then?
35:58More than one woman.
36:01That's it, isn't it?
36:03Niall here loves grip sex!
36:05No, no, I don't...
36:06No, no, I don't...
36:07Little Niall Kennedy.
36:07Loves a bit of group sex.
36:10Well, I could assume different characters, if you like.
36:14I could be Candy, a blonde bombshell who lives next door.
36:19Or I could be Svetlana, Russian warrior of the North.
36:25Oh, she's incredible, isn't she now?
36:29There's something to keep her.
36:30Uh-uh.
36:32Svetlana is kept by no one.
36:34How's he getting on now, then?
36:37Come on, son!
36:38I...
36:38I got Phil Marks on my Santa grades back in the day, Niall.
36:41I know you love a nerd.
36:45Here.
36:47Just focus on how things feel.
36:49Give me your finger.
37:01Oh, hello.
37:03Here we go, my man.
37:06You ready?
37:15Oh!
37:17Oh!
37:19Oh!
37:23Oh!
37:24Oh!
37:27Oh!
37:27Oh!
37:32That's it.
37:33That's it.
37:34Easy, boy.
37:35Easy.
37:36Steady.
37:37Steady.
37:39Steady.
37:41Trot.
37:42Don't gallop.
37:46Oh, wow.
37:47He's a grower, young Niall.
37:53Oh!
37:56Oh!
37:57Oh!
37:57Oh!
37:57Oh!
37:58Oh!
37:58Back you go, mister.
37:59No, no, no, no, no.
38:00Stop it.
38:01Fighting.
38:02Let her do her thing.
38:04Here.
38:05I'll hold it, I'll pray.
38:06What?
38:07Ah!
38:08Ah!
38:10Ah!
38:11Ah!
38:12Ah!
38:13Ah!
38:13Ah!
38:15Ah!
38:16Hold it, son.
38:18Hold.
38:20Hold.
38:21Hold.
38:21Hold her my rhythm.
38:24Oh, wow!
38:26Oh, wow.
38:34Oh, wow.
38:42Oh, wow.
38:43Oh, you've also been baptized.
38:45Wow.
38:45Oh, wow.
39:09For fuck's sake, did you just call me me?
39:13You fucking dead, you mink.
39:15Oh, no.
39:15For my feet are all.
39:16Now, son, you need to pull out.
39:18For fuck's sake, I better not be pregnant.
39:20I'm sorry, I didn't mean to.
39:21It just came out of nowhere.
39:23Relax, son.
39:24It's fine.
39:25But, I mean, like, what happens now?
39:28Will I get the virus?
39:32What?
39:36Do you mean AIDS?
39:41It's...
39:51I'll lie back, you daft cunt.
40:01So, is that it, then?
40:04I said, Bambi.
40:15I said, Bambi.
40:54I was just thinking, do you have any hash?
41:06We can bake Niall Kennedy.
41:09Dark horse, my man.
41:18Niall Kennedy, eh?
41:21Sex God.
41:22Drug fiend.
41:23I said...
41:23I said...
41:25I said...
42:14Well, I get the virus.
42:18Oh, I feel like I can do it.
42:22No, you're good.
42:26I know what you did.
42:29As in?
42:31You got him.
42:33Oh.
42:38I've never seen her look at me like that before.
42:42I've seen her cry loads.
42:47You know, but...
42:53I like this.
42:55It works.
43:02What did you make of Mona then?
43:05Yeah, I liked her.
43:06Yeah, you fucking did.
43:09You can thank me when you're ready.
43:10Why?
43:13Someone had to lose your virginity for you, didn't they?
43:17Oh, come on.
43:18You didn't think that was chance, did you?
43:22There's no way a lassie would take time out from sleeping with me to sleep with you.
43:27I said it up.
43:29My way of saying thanks.
43:35Oh.
43:37So, come on.
43:38Tell me you loved it.
43:42I loved it.
43:45Yeah, you did.
43:49I should run a brothel or something.
43:51I'm like the Pied Piper of pussy.
44:22I'm like the Pied Piper.
44:39I'm imagining these massive vaginas with legs falling through the roots.
44:51Hang on, Papi.
44:55Hang on, Papi.
45:16Can I see something?
45:18See what?
45:22Around mums, you know.
45:26Fuck him.
45:31Yeah.
45:32Afraid so.
45:36Does it bother you or something?
45:39No.
45:40Well, I don't really.
45:43As long as they're happy, I guess.
45:47Although they don't seem all that happy.
45:55There's a lot you don't know about.
45:56There's a lot you don't know about.
46:09Yeah.
46:12Got you something?
46:16There's a lot you don't know about.
46:22There's a lot you don't know about.
46:25After yourself.
46:28Why do you care?
46:32We're family now.
46:35It's the most important thing.
46:39My brother.
46:41From another lover.
46:48Come on boys, school
46:51Bring those thin bags down while you're at it
46:56This is going to be some morning
46:58We'll be floating to school after all that
47:05Hey
47:09You've got nothing to worry about with our mums
47:12Ten years time you'll be at a party somewhere
47:14And realise it makes you more interesting
47:23Later Bumbers
48:02Just cause I ain't never had no nothing worth having
48:05Never, ever, never, ever
48:12You ain't got no call not to think of what I'm falling to thinking I ain't too clever
48:23And it ain't not having one thing or not another
48:25Rather neither is it anything
48:28Whatever
48:33And it's not, not knowing that there ain't nothing showing in the eyes
48:36Better to the name of Trevor
48:40However
48:46Knock me down with a feather
48:50Clever Trevor
48:56Why browse wonder whether clever Trevor's clever
49:05No, neither, haven't not got no right to make a clock out of Trevor
49:25No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no
50:00One more Bambi, yeah, have a sip
50:15Hey, easy, sip, don't chug, come on
50:20That's it
50:32Jesus, you're dripping
50:37Let's fill this out
50:39We're gonna stay here
50:42Hey, it's gonna be okay
50:47You're gonna be fine
50:51Hey
50:51Hey, it's gonna be alright
50:53Don't, hey, come on
50:55Nile, please
50:58Hey, hey, settle, settle
51:00Sell
51:02No, no, no, no, settle, settle
51:04Just breathe
51:04Hey
51:06Hey
51:06It's fine
51:07No, it's fine
51:09Just settle a bit
51:10Sell
51:12Here
51:13Follow my breath
51:19There's no following my breath
51:21I can't
51:22Follow it
51:22I can't
51:23Try it, yes, you can, you fucking can
51:25Come on
51:25Come on, follow it
51:49Hey, see
51:51Hey, see
51:57Go with it
51:58Go with it
51:59Yeah, no, no, that's it
52:00That's the boy
52:01Just breathe
52:04Okay
52:04I'm here
52:05Just keep breathing
52:10That's it
52:12That's the boy
52:15Don't worry
52:18It'll be over soon
53:10It'll be over soon
53:12It'll be over soon
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