- 23 hours ago
The Secret Lives of Mormon Wives - Season 4 - Episode 10: The Book of Thorns and Roses
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00:04we're not friends
00:08what the fuck is going on
00:11what the fuck you just said that to me
00:13that you don't feel like we're friends
00:14okay then fuck you
00:16holy shit
00:26to be honest I'm not surprised
00:28with the way that Whitney's acting right now
00:31and this is just reconfirmed to me
00:33why I have kept my distance
00:36Kayla will you just talk to me
00:38and just did I do something
00:39like genuinely what happened
00:41if so she was upset because
00:43Jen didn't say congrats on her
00:45getting Chicago
00:46therapy's expensive I'm gonna send Whitney my bill
00:49after this conversation
00:51what did she tell you
00:53Zach told me last week
00:55oh and you just haven't said anything
00:57and I just haven't texted her
00:58I've told her in person
00:59but she's upset that I didn't tell her
01:01when you knew
01:02when I knew
01:03if someone posts
01:04I'm literally terrified
01:05to not comment on somebody's post
01:06because I feel like we have this expectation now
01:08like if I'm not like showing complete
01:10and it's probably that
01:11I mean I don't want to hear it
01:13like it's my fault
01:14this Whitney and Jen drama
01:16definitely makes me feel like
01:17I'm back at the CMA drama
01:18from last year
01:19I posted about my CMAs
01:21not a single one of my friends
01:23from MomTalk
01:23said a single thing about it
01:25or commented
01:26to hear nothing
01:27like what the fuck
01:28I think all the cool opportunities
01:29we're getting are great
01:31but I also think it has potential
01:32to pull us away
01:33from why we're in MomTalk
01:34to begin with
01:35and make us lose sight
01:36of the genuine friendships
01:38it's hard to balance it all
01:40but if we don't have our friendships
01:42what is this all for?
01:44I see where Whitney's upset
01:46but to be honest
01:47I don't feel like our friendship
01:48has been genuine
01:49to be honest
01:49I think it's very much
01:50been transactional and fake
01:53and I feel like
01:54in order to protect my energy
01:56I've been just being cordial
01:59this whole time
01:59because I don't have the time
02:00or none of us do
02:01there's a lot of competition
02:03and jealousy
02:03between Whitney and Jen right now
02:05and that's where this is all stemming from
02:06but MomTalk does not need
02:08to be dealing with this right now
02:09as we kind of grow in popularity
02:11we're getting more and more offers
02:13like Taylor with the Bachelorette coming up
02:14and when we start getting more exposure
02:17and more opportunities
02:18I do worry it may drive us apart
02:20it's all transactional
02:22she's saying like
02:23I don't care about her
02:24I'm like you don't care about any of us either
02:26you only came back for Dancing with the Stars
02:28I am feeling like
02:30so heated right now
02:32I don't even know
02:33if people are backing me up
02:35or people backing Jen up
02:36but if there is one thing
02:38that I have learned
02:38being a part of this group
02:39is that something is bound to happen
02:43but the show must go on
02:44come ye saints and come ye sinners
02:56alleluia
02:57listen up
02:59I'm the one you've been dreaming of
03:02I got everything you could ever want
03:06try me in your sleep
03:08I'll bring you to your knees
03:10baby you're gonna believe
03:22hey
03:23Feltation, baby, love, it's a temptation
03:53Transcription by CastingWords
04:12Transcription by CastingWords
04:29Hey! Oh, yep, get on in. You're going with me, huh?
04:33What's your expectations? Are you nervous?
04:36It's okay to be nervous. I'm nervous for you.
04:39I don't have any. I don't have any going in that way.
04:43It's like, whatever happens is going to happen.
04:45There's a part of me that even wonders if I'm capable of doing this, given the recent events.
04:50And then there's another part of me that's like, well, you already said you're going to do it.
04:53You need to do it. So pull through.
04:54So kind of very chaotic in the head for sure, which is no secret to anybody, I guess, at this
05:00point.
05:00I'm so excited for you. This is going to be something so fun and challenging and emotional, too.
05:08And I just hope that you can handle all of it.
05:12Honestly, like, I can't imagine more chaos than I'm already living.
05:17So I'll never say that.
05:45Good morning.
05:48Good morning.
05:50What's up? How are you feeling?
05:52I need to stay off my phone.
05:54Yeah, you really need to stay off social media right now.
05:57Yeah.
05:58I know you've cried most of the night.
06:02Last night I got eliminated.
06:05And to be honest, I am devastated and very much surprised.
06:10The couple going home is...
06:15Jen and Jan.
06:19Just like, it's like a pit in my stomach.
06:21Like, I dreamt of this moment, like, my whole life.
06:26And the fact that it's, like, over just like that, it just...
06:31It feels just, like, weird.
06:33Yeah.
06:34Like, the positives even hurt more because it's like those memories and...
06:37Yeah.
06:38You can be sad, but you also...
06:41You have to be proud of yourself because you wanted to inspire people.
06:44And you accomplished that.
06:46You did this eight weeks postpartum.
06:49And I'll never forget, like, finishing my dance and looking over.
06:55Looking over at you and Nora.
06:59And just seeing how proud you were.
07:02I really gave it my all.
07:04Yeah, you gave your heart to it.
07:05And you have to be proud of that.
07:08Oh, man.
07:10I think I'm still trying to process.
07:13You should be really proud of yourself.
07:16Yeah, for sure.
07:20You made it to, what, week seven?
07:22You're right.
07:23I should be proud of myself.
07:25So proud of yourself, Jen.
07:29Whitney has been blowing up my phone.
07:32Apparently, she wants to have a conversation, which is...
07:35You think she wants to apologize for how she yelled and screamed at you, or...
07:39No.
07:40You think she wants to apologize for laughing when you got eliminated?
07:44No.
07:45Okay, fam.
07:45It looks like Whitney is laughing when Jen gets kicked off.
07:49Do you think that she's happy she's safe?
07:50Or do we think that she's actually happy to see Jen going home?
07:54Hit me up in the comments.
07:55Let me know what you think.
07:56I think she's worried about...
07:59She's thinking about her and being in the competition, and she didn't like what I had
08:04to say on live, and so I'm sure she...
08:06Or about you not voting for her?
08:08Yeah.
08:09And I would be rooting for a former mom talk person, but we won't get into it.
08:14Okay, well, I'm in this line now.
08:17Oh, I'm out of this shit.
08:19Whitney only cares about Whitney and her not getting eliminated, and she knows that I hold
08:23power when it comes to that, just because if I say anything more, it could hurt her.
08:29Hello.
08:31Um, I just want to apologize for overreacting and yelling.
08:35So I'm going to say hi to you when I see you at the studio and wish you luck.
08:39Um, but yeah, I just wanted to say sorry for treating you that way.
08:43She knows she effed up.
08:45You want to act like everything's okay?
08:47I'm tired of being fake, and I've done that a lot, and I'm tired of doing that, and I'm
08:50not doing that anymore.
08:51And if that means the whole group is against me, because I'm not friends with Whitney,
08:56who's currently popular, and that's the cool thing to do right now, I don't care.
09:00And I think it would be good.
09:01I mean, just to have like a cordial conversation and just like, hey, this is my perspective,
09:07that's her perspective, and you guys can just talk it out.
09:09You think I should go talk to her?
09:11Yeah, I think someone needs to hold her accountable.
09:15I know you feel like this is the end of the world, but this is just the beginning.
09:19I know it doesn't feel that way, but you're going to go do way bigger things.
09:23This journey of Dancing with the Stars, Jen was gone all the time, and so like our marriage
09:27did get neglected.
09:29At the same time, like it was one of the coolest, happiest, fun experiences, and I feel
09:32like pretty sad for her, but I also feel really grateful that she got as far as she
09:36did.
09:36I've really learned I have to cherish every second I get with her, and it's also helped
09:40me realize I have a lot more respect for stay-at-home parents.
09:43Getting away from Whitney and going back with some of your other friends could be good, too.
09:48If you don't have a lot of friends.
09:49If Whitney's down here, yeah, I should probably get out of here.
09:53But hey, she's going to be in Chicago.
09:56New York.
09:57It's New York.
09:58The play's called Chicago.
10:02I'm dead.
10:06Love it, yes, I love it all the time, time.
10:10Hello.
10:12Hi, Gorge.
10:14You're here.
10:15Wait, this is new.
10:16That's cute.
10:16So much.
10:17Love her.
10:18Did you get that in New York?
10:20Slay.
10:20Love her.
10:21Slayla.
10:22With all of the Shania and Dakota and Taylor drama going on, I haven't really had a chance
10:27to check in with Layla and see how she's doing.
10:30And I'm so excited to see how her meeting went with Ford Models, because I know this
10:33is a huge opportunity for her, and it's a dream of hers.
10:36Okay, so you haven't told me any update on Ford.
10:39Ugh.
10:40Yeah.
10:40Oh, yeah.
10:41What did, how did that go?
10:43They didn't find me.
10:45Um, so just calling to give you a little bit of an update.
10:48Yeah.
10:48Um, so I've spoken with my team here in New York.
10:51Unfortunately, not everyone is really aligned or on the same page.
10:55So we're going to have to pass at this time.
10:58So I'm just, like, embarrassed.
10:59I feel like I'm, like, don't be.
11:00Like, you're going to get yeses and you're going to get noes.
11:02And every supermodel literally will tell you.
11:05Has had noes.
11:05They have plenty of noes.
11:08I don't think you guys, like, getting rejected by a modeling agency, like, that means there's
11:11something wrong with me that they didn't choose me.
11:13So I feel like I've been, like, the last couple days I've been, like, struggling so
11:16hard with, like, confidence.
11:18And I'm, like, I weigh too much or my face isn't symmetrical.
11:21And I'm, like, I'm literally the ugliest person ever.
11:23You're not at all.
11:24I know.
11:25But I think it just, like, stems back to, like, just, like, me never feeling like I'm,
11:27like, enough.
11:29If that makes sense.
11:30And just, like, I don't know.
11:31Just, like, having someone, like, look at you and, like, look at your face and be,
11:33like, yeah, like, we don't want you.
11:35You know?
11:36Like, it just kind of, like, it sucks.
11:38And I feel like everyone's always told me, like, you should pursue modeling.
11:40Like, you're built for it.
11:41I'm, like, maybe I'm not.
11:43I've struggled with body image issues and an eating disorder since I was in high school.
11:49I used to have anorexia.
11:51And then I got pregnant with my first son when I was 19.
11:55And naturally, I mean, there's a baby inside of me that I have to care for.
11:59So I feel like I kind of healed for a little bit.
12:01And then I got pregnant again.
12:02And I didn't spiral then.
12:05But after me and my ex separated, that's when I feel like I started to go back into those
12:10old ways and those old habits.
12:12And I feel like I've been battling it for the last four years now, silently.
12:17You know that that's not true because, first of all, you have a mirror that you can look
12:22in and you have eyes at work.
12:23But also...
12:24I also have a brain that tricks me and says I'm too bad.
12:27But you also have booked so many other modeling deals.
12:30I just feel like every girl is getting such awesome opportunities and I'm so proud of them.
12:34But I definitely, you know, you get a little hard on yourself and you hope that, you know,
12:38you can achieve things outside of mom talk as well.
12:40And rejection hurts.
12:42You wouldn't even have the...
12:43You wouldn't have made it in the door at Ford if you weren't a beautiful, like accomplished
12:48person that had a lot of potential.
12:51I feel like I'm trying to look at positives in the situation that if I did get it, I
12:55would have to move to New York for three months and that would definitely be hard with my
12:59babies and with Mason and figuring all of that out.
13:02But it's just a hard toss up because it's something that I want so badly.
13:05It's not the only big agency.
13:07No.
13:07Like there are others.
13:08I don't think I mentally can handle another now.
13:10No.
13:11I think I just wanted it like so bad.
13:33I felt really bad the way that I handled Jen and I's argument.
13:36No matter what's happened, no one deserves to be yelled to like that.
13:39So I don't want things to be awkward with us.
13:42I've asked her to meet up with me and hopefully we can move past this.
13:52What the fuck?
13:53Why is Zach here?
13:54And where is Jen?
14:05Hello.
14:06Hi, how you doing?
14:08Good.
14:10I'm going to be filling in today.
14:13Filling in for Jen?
14:15I decided to go talk to Whitney because Jen asks me to.
14:18I wanted to go kind of just defend Jen.
14:22I don't care if Whitney screams or yell at me.
14:24Like I'm not scared of Whitney.
14:26She didn't want to come.
14:28Why?
14:29I mean, the truth is she's hurting right now.
14:31She's sad.
14:32She's grieving.
14:32I think just like you would be.
14:34Yeah, of course.
14:35Yeah.
14:35I'm so sorry she got eliminated.
14:37It would suck.
14:37I don't know if you are.
14:39I hope you are.
14:40I think she's just, I think she needs time to process her journey.
14:44And to be honest, I think she's probably scared to come here and get yelled at by you.
14:49You do that a lot.
14:50Yeah.
14:50You know what else I did?
14:52I voice memoed her an apology for yelling at her.
14:55Yeah.
14:55Whitney, it was a bullshit fake apology.
14:58I heard it myself.
15:00You know what?
15:01It wasn't a bullshit apology.
15:02I really did feel bad for yelling.
15:04And I said, I'm so sorry for saying that.
15:05And then you said, let's be friends again because I don't want this exposed to the media
15:07because I'm going to get voted off.
15:09No, I didn't.
15:09I'm a mean girl.
15:12That's the truth.
15:13Whitney.
15:14I'm not even, I'm not even going to defend myself for that.
15:16She said she didn't want to be friends and I didn't know that.
15:18That hurt my feelings and I overreacted.
15:20I apologize.
15:21I love the transparency, but you don't, I will not stand is for you to go on live
15:26after you get eliminated to then say, I'm not voting for Whitney.
15:31What's the objective there?
15:32I'm in a competition.
15:34I think the objective is she thinks there's people who deserve it more than you.
15:39That's fine.
15:40You could have said who you were voting for, not who you're not voting for.
15:43You know what?
15:45That to me is cruel and it's mean because what do I have to deal with now?
15:49This hate online, it's overwhelming.
15:52And then on top of it, all of the news media outlets saying, oh my gosh, Jen's not voting
15:56for you.
15:57Whitney's not Montauk because I have that narrative.
15:59That's manipulation.
16:00That's an objective.
16:01That's counterfeit.
16:02And that's critique.
16:03Why do you think the whole world, all of social media thinks that about you?
16:07Because people can see your true colors.
16:09If you had gotten eliminated, would you be voting for Jen?
16:12Absolutely.
16:13And that is complete bullshit.
16:14I don't even believe that one person.
16:16And you know what, Zach?
16:17You don't have to.
16:18Because even when I had a conversation with Jen, the way that she thinks is she thinks
16:22everybody's calculating, everyone's strategic, and the world's up to get her.
16:25You know, she thinks you and me aren't.
16:27It's weird that you two happen to be best friends.
16:29First of all, I don't appreciate that because I know who I am.
16:33I am a great fucking person.
16:35And I put in so much effort in that relationship.
16:37The difference between me and Jen is I'm going to be straight up and honest.
16:41And Jen isn't.
16:42That actually is probably the biggest lie that's come out of your mouth.
16:45Jen is actually the least calculated person.
16:47Therefore, she gets herself in bad situations.
16:48Yeah, that's not true.
16:49This isn't easy for anyone, Zach.
16:50All of us are mentally unwell.
16:54I can tell.
16:56And I don't think she should have said that on life.
16:57But I think there's a part of Jen that wants the world to see your true colors because she's
17:01sick of it.
17:02She's sick of you being fake to her on camera for the show for your own gain.
17:07And then in real life, she knows you're not a genuine friend.
17:10This is the most delusional woman I've ever met.
17:14Winnie's friendship with Jen has been fake from the beginning.
17:17Anytime Winnie's been frustrated or things haven't gone her way,
17:20she screams or she runs away from mom talk.
17:23She's hurt you.
17:23I've never hurt Whitney.
17:24And then runs away.
17:26I'm going to start my own mom talk.
17:29I'm sorry.
17:30They're like, oh, Whitney's only back filming because she wants Dancing with the Stars.
17:35They're not wrong.
17:36I just think it was a very transactional friendship.
17:38She's not the main star.
17:40Whitney is not interested in it.
17:42When someone goes on a live and decides to create more shit for me to deal with,
17:47that's fucked up.
17:48And I'm sorry for that.
17:50I don't want to hear your apology.
17:52I want to hear Jen's.
17:53But guess what?
17:54She doesn't think she did anything wrong.
17:56No, I don't think she cares to give you an apology.
18:00Of course she doesn't care.
18:03Shout it to the rooftops.
18:04Of course she doesn't care.
18:07Do you have anything else you want to say?
18:10I don't want to talk about it anymore.
18:11That's fine.
18:12I'm sorry.
18:13I wish you guys the best.
18:15I'm not going to sit here and try to convince you the perspective that I have.
18:19I'm not going to sit here and try to convince you that what your wife did was unwarranted.
18:24How she's treated me is unwarranted.
18:26You are not my friend.
18:27You are not in my circle.
18:28And I do not trust you.
18:30Hey.
18:31Hey.
18:32Oh, no.
18:34Whitney.
18:35Zach showed up instead of Jen.
18:37Oh, my God.
18:39They're just, every time I talk to them, I just feel, I feel so manipulated.
18:46And then I hate fucking crying because then the world is like, oh, she's being the victim.
18:50I like, I can't ever fucking win.
18:53And then for you to sit there and be like, Jen has done nothing wrong.
18:56It's you that's not a good friend.
18:58I'm like, what the fuck?
18:59And then he's saying like, basically that I deserve all the hate I'm getting.
19:03It's like, go fuck yourself.
19:05I'm going to rip that man's head off.
19:07My biggest fucking pet peeve with me is when men try and make women feel fucking small.
19:13Well, guess what?
19:14I feel that way.
19:15And I hate so fucking much that like, I let it get to me.
19:19I don't know where I'm at after this.
19:21But what I can control is not having Jen and Zach a part of my life, a part of my
19:26circle.
19:27And that's what I'm deciding.
19:29He wanted you to feel like shit.
19:30Mission accomplished, Zach.
19:32I hope you feel like a big, strong fucking man right now.
19:34What a fucking loser.
19:37Is it all just smoking in?
19:41Oh, oh, oh.
19:46Oh, oh.
19:47Oh, oh, oh.
19:49Hello.
19:51How are you?
19:51Good.
19:52How are you?
19:53Good to see you.
19:54I know.
19:54You too.
19:55I'm excited for this.
19:56I feel like we all need this.
19:57You guys look so cozy and cute.
19:58I know.
19:59I'm so glad we all went like lounge wear.
20:01Because I was like, am I going to look homeless?
20:03Oh, never.
20:03You're carrying your $6,000 product.
20:05Homeless.
20:07MomTalk has a lot going on right now.
20:09And Taylor's leaving for the bachelorette in a few days.
20:11And then after that, I'm hosting my annual Halloween party.
20:14We should talk about the guest list, though, because with Taylor gone, I'm like, okay, who are we inviting?
20:19We can actually have alcohol because Taylor's gone, which will be fun.
20:22Open bar.
20:23Okay, so I have MomTalk on the list, obviously.
20:25Who's left of it?
20:27Dakota.
20:27I think Shania's been invited because Jordan invited everyone at Red West.
20:30But I don't know if she would actually show up.
20:33We've been so busy lately, and I'm so excited to just go and have fun and relax today with Miranda
20:38and Layla at the spa.
20:39Okay, we can do anything for 30 seconds.
20:42We'll be the burpee then.
20:43You were married to Chase.
20:44You can do it.
20:45Not a sec.
20:46That's more close to that.
20:48One, two, three.
20:52No, no, no.
20:55That was a frozen tundra.
20:57Straight out at, like, ice cap, frigid temperatures.
21:03This is what I've ever experienced.
21:05I thought it was supposed to be relaxing.
21:07No, no, no.
21:08Not relaxed.
21:09Yeah.
21:10Good.
21:11How are you feeling about all the modeling stuff?
21:13I don't know.
21:14I feel like I'm trying to, like, keep my expectations low.
21:16I feel like I put a lot of my self-worth into my image.
21:20Having someone say that, like, they didn't want to take me on, even though they didn't say anything physically was
21:24wrong with me, I feel like my brain automatically was like, oh, like, I'm not small enough, or I'm not
21:28pretty enough.
21:29But I think more of it was just, like, I feel like I weighed too much.
21:33I'm sure your sample size is not smaller.
21:35I don't look at myself that way, though.
21:37I weighed myself, like, two days ago when I was 99.
21:43And you're, like, 5'10", 5'9".
21:48I mean, do you know that that's not super healthy?
21:52And when I say healthy, like, it doesn't mean big, you know?
21:56Like, healthy is strong.
21:57Yeah.
22:00No, I'm...
22:02I just feel like I really can't.
22:04I don't know.
22:05I just feel like it does not.
22:06I don't think I'll ever be, like, small enough in my head.
22:09And I know that it's affecting me.
22:10And, like, I'm so exhausted all the time because I don't eat.
22:13And my body hurts every night when I go to bed.
22:15What do you mean?
22:17Like, I, like, would literally, like, lay down.
22:19Like, if my, like, knees are touching each other, it, like, hurts because I don't have
22:22any, like, fat on my body.
22:23Like, cushion it.
22:25Like, I know that it's going too far and I'm taking it too far, but I, like, can't stop.
22:28Do you think, like, are you open to stopping trisacetate?
22:33Yep.
22:33I have been using weight loss drugs, GLP-1s now for about a year, I would say.
22:42I initially got on them because I feel like I just had stubborn weight that I couldn't
22:46get off.
22:47But the thing is that people don't talk about how addicting this is and how hard it is to
22:52get off.
22:53And it's just this ever-living thing that's so negative and especially negative here in
22:59Utah.
22:59People are obsessed with how they look.
23:01It's a very negative part of the Utah culture.
23:04I can't even count on both hands how many people I know abuse GLP-1s like myself.
23:09And it's a real problem, for sure.
23:13When's the last time you did it?
23:14Last week.
23:16That's what scares me is I don't think you need to be actively losing.
23:19It's hard.
23:20And I feel like everyone, like, obviously everyone's starting to notice what it looks
23:23like in my comments.
23:24Like, I can't post a single video right now with, like, every single person saying something
23:28about, like, you need to eat or you're not going to be able to show up to your kids.
23:31Like, you're being a bad mom, blah, blah, blah, blah.
23:33Like, I always say something I'm not trying to.
23:35Like, I, it's not like it.
23:37Like, well, I've noticed your comments have switched from, like, you're so thin, your arms
23:41are so long, to now, like, are you okay?
23:43And I think that's kind of the sentiment we're all thinking is that, like, just are you okay?
23:48I feel like for a long time there, people calling me ill or saying that I look sick
23:53or too thin, it was almost a dopamine rush for me because I feel like with an eating disorder,
23:58okay, someone's noticing all this work that I'm putting in to look this way and, like,
24:02it's paying off in a way.
24:03But now I can't even post a simple ad to make money, to support my family without there
24:09being a bunch of comments on it.
24:10And it's actually starting to get a lot that I don't even want to post right now because
24:14I can't run away from it.
24:18And I don't know, like, how to stop.
24:20But obviously, like, you've always had to have such a strong friend growing up the way
24:24that you grew up.
24:25And I think when so much is out of control, it's easy for you to cling on to one thing
24:30you can't control.
24:31Yeah.
24:32And I want you to know that, like, you do love me.
24:34You have a family hand.
24:37And we're here for you.
24:39And we love you.
24:41Okay?
24:42Have a blast.
24:43Help you.
24:44And you don't, like, we can help you be in control.
24:47Like, you don't have to do it by yourself.
24:48Like a threat that starts when I believe
24:55And all the pieces never seem to fit
24:59When you feel you can breathe
25:07When you're lost in the dark, I'll be here in your heart
25:11Hi, buddy.
25:14Hi, buddy.
25:21This is Taylor's last night
25:22Before she flies out for The Bachelorette
25:25And I'm just dropping Ever off
25:27This is kind of, like, the last
25:29Like, our last time, like, actually kind of seeing each other
25:32Before she goes away
25:34And, uh, yeah, it kind of feels surreal
25:38There's part of me, obviously, where I want to go over there
25:40Because, like, I know she's leaving
25:41Like, and I'm not going to talk to her, I think, for, like, two months
25:44So, yeah, I'd be lying if I didn't think there was a piece of me
25:48That just kind of wanted to go
25:50I don't know
25:50Like, see her
25:51Be with her, like
25:54Possibly the last time
25:55Like, I don't know
26:23Taylor's leaving for The Bachelorette today, Dakota
26:25What happened last night?
26:30Um
26:33I want to take my time to make my decision
26:38Take my time for no damn reason
26:50Espen and I are at Taylor's house
26:52Getting ready to leave to California for The Bachelorette
26:56And we're supposed to leave in two hours
27:00Taylor
27:01Taylor
27:03Well, it's 8.40
27:07She is not ready
27:09She is still in bed
27:11And she is not feeling well
27:14What do you think we should do?
27:16We're supposed to be leaving here, like, any minute
27:19By nine
27:20She's still sleeping
27:21You're her mom
27:22No, you can talk, too
27:23Because I'm always the one that's, like, the B
27:26Did you talk to Taylor?
27:26What did she say?
27:27She says she just doesn't feel like
27:29She's just not feeling well
27:31She says she can't get on a plane
27:32And that you guys can go
27:35And she'll just have to meet you there
27:37She's just
27:38She's like
27:38There's just no way I can get up right now and go
27:42This is ridiculous
27:45I'm very frustrated right now with Taylor
27:48She has this huge opportunity
27:50And I feel like a part of me is, like, she's not going to go
27:53I know that you have anxiety
27:55I know that there's a lot going on
27:56That's not why
27:57I know you're sick
27:58I know
27:59You've been running like
28:00The same
28:00The same
28:02This is a commitment that you made
28:04I don't want her to blow this opportunity to possibly find love
28:09And also to get on with her life
28:12Aspen and I are going to get on this plane
28:14And I'm hoping that Taylor will meet us there in California
28:18I expect you to be there tonight
28:25Okay, you two are sitting in the very back right here
28:28Yeah, oh my gosh
28:30Do we have everything?
28:33We're going to miss our flight
28:38On our way for the first week of Bachelorette
28:41Who's not even coming with us?
28:43Who's a no-show?
28:44Mom
28:44You're crazy, huh?
29:04Come on
29:04Me and the girls are at the airport ready to surprise Taylor
29:07We decided to make signs for her new adventure
29:10She's been through so much
29:11Kind of send her off on her little mission to the Bachelorette
29:14Because in our church, when someone goes on a mission
29:16Usually when they come home
29:17People have signs welcoming them back
29:19So you'll see that a lot at Salt Lake Airport
29:21So we're sending her off to her mission to the Bachelorette
29:24And we're ready for her to be away from Dakota
29:25And find her real man
29:27We're already getting close
29:28It's great
29:29Guys, it's 9.45
29:30It leaves at 11
29:32Where is she?
29:34Was she with Dakota last night again?
29:35Yes, 100%
29:36She was with Dakota last night
29:37So I am genuinely stressed that she told him
29:40Like, I'll stay for you
29:41This morning, Jordan heard from Dakota
29:44Taylor slept with Dakota again last night
29:46Go self-sabotage!
29:48Jessie tells us that Jordan told her
29:50That Dakota slept with Taylor last night
29:53Oh my god
29:54I thought I couldn't get more disappointed
29:56Right when we're like, yes
29:58She sees it
29:59She sees her worth
30:00It's like, she's going to the Bachelorette
30:02She's ready to start this new journey
30:03We're so excited for her
30:04She's back sleeping with Dakota again
30:06And I'm so disappointed
30:07I'm so disappointed
30:08I'm definitely disappointed in Taylor
30:10I don't think that this was a smart move to do
30:12Right before the Bachelorette
30:13To be frank
30:13If I was one of these guys
30:14And I found out that she
30:16F'd her baby daddy
30:16The day before meeting me
30:18I would be extremely upset and pissed
30:21Dakota's trying to pull out all of his cards
30:22Because he's desperate
30:24Like, he's doing anything he can to get her to not go
30:27Like, I'm shocked
30:28But I'm not shocked at the same time
30:29I'm just tired
30:30I'm so over this
30:31I'm just hoping Dakota doesn't sneak there at some point
30:34Dakota's in the checked luggage
30:35Let's be honest
30:37Is that Ben?
30:38That's not Ben
30:38Weird
30:39No, that's Ben
30:40Shut the fuck up
30:41Do you like my sexy socks?
30:43I was just gonna comment on your sexy socks
30:47Wait
30:47That's not them
30:48That's not
30:50Oh
30:51It looks exactly like it
30:52I about died, you guys
30:54She only has 40 minutes
30:5640 minutes until boarding ends
30:57Wait, she's right there
30:58Coming down
30:59She's right there
31:00She's right there
31:00I can see that rat's neck for a mile away
31:03You guys, wait
31:03Oh, that's Aspen
31:04Okay
31:05I'm gonna yell
31:06Okay, that's her mom
31:08That's her mom
31:08There's Aspen
31:08Wait, where's Taylor?
31:09She's right there
31:10Wait, where is she?
31:13But that's Aspen and her mom
31:15Where's Taylor?
31:16Taylor's not even there
31:17What the hell?
31:18Where's Taylor?
31:19Aspen's gonna be the bachelorette
31:21Oh my gosh
31:22Oh my gosh
31:23Look at that
31:24Wait, where's Taylor?
31:26Oh my gosh
31:26Wait, where's Taylor?
31:27Where's Taylor?
31:28Is she not coming?
31:29She's not coming?
31:30She's not for real?
31:32She's not coming
31:33You're joking
31:34No, I'm being dead
31:35I heard about this
31:37Is it because of Dakota?
31:39Oh no, we don't know why
31:40What's going on
31:41She slept with him last night
31:42No, sir
31:43For real
31:45No, sir
31:46You guys are freaking kidding me
31:47You're joking, right?
31:48I know
31:49I know
31:50I know
31:50I got to let her whole fight
31:52So why the hell are we going and doing all of this?
31:54Oh my gosh
31:55It makes me actually very sick
31:57That she would put this whole deal in jeopardy
32:01Why isn't she here?
32:02She wouldn't get up
32:03We could not get her up
32:05And she's like, I'm not going right now
32:06I can't do it
32:07You guys
32:08And then she's like, you guys get on the flight and go
32:10Okay, no
32:11She's going to send you without going
32:13Like, what's the point of that?
32:14Hey, I need you to call me like ASAP
32:16I fucking hate Dakota
32:18And Taylor, I'm like, I love my sister
32:20But I'm like, pull it out of your ass
32:23And you can't be this mad at Shania
32:24And then give him a pass
32:25I'm like, I'm so
32:26Ew, ew, ew
32:28Does ABC have a backup plan?
32:30Oh, I freaking hate him
32:32Don't forget to drop your baggage
32:34Yeah, she's allowing it
32:36I know, I'm sorry
32:38I'm sorry, Leigh-Anne
32:38Come here, give me a hug
32:39I'm sorry
32:40I know, I'm sorry
32:41This is so bad, you guys
32:43Taylor not showing up at the airport
32:45Is not only a bad sign for her
32:47And her journey in The Bachelorette
32:49But also for MomTalk
32:50Like, she's going to choose Dakota
32:51Who's been kind of ruining her life
32:52For the last three years
32:53Over something that is a fresh start
32:56Like, all of us in MomTalk
32:57We've all tried so hard to help her
32:59And we've all been there for her
33:01But I think it backfired on us
33:03I'm like, so frustrated
33:04I'm so pissed
33:05I don't even want to get on a plane
33:06No, this is stupid
33:07You guys shouldn't
33:07If she's not coming
33:09She has to go
33:10She has to
33:10She's already announced it
33:11I'm going to go on this flight
33:13And she better be there today
33:14Or I'm cutting her freaking off
33:16Do you want us to go to her house
33:18And drag her out of bed?
33:19Tell her she better get there
33:20We've got to rebook a flight
33:20Well, you could go ahead and tell her
33:22If she doesn't get up and go
33:23That she's losing everybody
33:24Her help
33:25I'm done
33:26She'll be done
33:27And I'll be done too
33:28I'll be done
33:30This is so bad
33:31Taylor is like an addict
33:32When it comes to Dakota
33:33We're just trying to help her
33:35We spent hours making these signs
33:37We showed up early at the airport
33:38To be there and send her off
33:39But seeing her mom and kids
33:41Come to the airport without her
33:42And saying she's not coming
33:43I'm like, great
33:44My worst fears have come true
33:46She's going to sabotage
33:47This entire experience for Dakota
33:48And she's never going to get better
33:50I love you
33:51I'm sorry
33:51I'm so heated
33:52I'm sorry
33:53So, yeah, go to her house
33:56We need to go take these to her door
33:58And be like
33:58Look, we were here to support you
34:00Let's go
34:00If we stomp him
34:10She's not going to let us in, you guys
34:11I don't give a shit
34:12I'm going to break her damn window by her bed
34:14And jump in
34:15It's a Sunday
34:16I should be in church
34:17Praising the Lord
34:18And here I am
34:20Does anyone know her doorstep?
34:22I don't care
34:22But I know there's a big rock by her window
34:24We can slap this
34:25I'm just not sure how to approach this yet
34:27Let's approach it
34:27I don't know if we approach it angry
34:28Or like
34:29I just don't know
34:31She's not going to answer you guys
34:33Do you have a text sent out?
34:35Almost
34:35Oh, it's locked
34:37That's probably there
34:38You guys, should we go around back?
34:40Yeah, let's go
34:42Tap on the window
34:45Oh, what about this one?
34:46No, it's locked
34:46I thought it wasn't
34:48Oh, wait
34:48I got in
34:49But there's something there
34:49Is it Dakota?
34:51Oh my gosh
34:52What is all of this?
34:53Now that we've successfully broken into Taylor's house
34:55I think we can officially add breaking and entering to our resumes
34:59Should I wink?
35:01I can't wink
35:03I've been working on it
35:05Is she going to be so mad at us?
35:07Well, Leanne told us to do this
35:08There's her bag like half packed
35:11It's half packed?
35:12Yeah
35:13Oh my hell, Taylor
35:15I think it looks like she didn't fully go
35:16You guys, what do I do?
35:18We're already in here, guys
35:19Now we can't leave
35:20So we have to lose it
35:21We're already in here
35:22Just like pop your head in
35:23Just don't like
35:24Don't say anything unless she's awake
35:25Because I don't want to wake her up
35:50I mean, you were with Dakota last night
35:54You weren't that sick
36:00I mean, if you don't want help, we'll leave
36:01But we're just trying to get you on top
36:04Because you said yes to Bachelorette
36:07You should have said no
36:08You're not well
36:10I'm feeling definitely sick
36:13Exhausted
36:14Drained
36:14My friends want the best for me
36:15And they're, you know, in my house
36:17Trying to get me to go
36:17And I really appreciate it
36:18I'm just to a point where it's like so low
36:20That I don't even want them to help me
36:22Like, I'm sorry
36:23But I'm just sick of supporting you
36:24When you keep doing this
36:25Your mom's pissed
36:26Your sister's pissed
36:27Like, you're sending them to L.A. with your kids
36:28And you can't show up
36:30Like, just say no to the Bachelorette
36:33Sucks that we woke up at 6 a.m. to be there for you
36:35So over it
36:37All of us girls are honestly going through a lot right now
36:40Mikayla and Jace's marriage
36:42Is going through a really hard time
36:43Jesse's contemplating divorce every day
36:45I'm dealing with my eating disorder
36:47And the last thing that we need
36:49Is our leader, Taylor
36:50To be falling apart as well
36:51I just feel like she's kind of the glue to this group
36:54And if she's not doing well
36:56Then mom talk is not doing well either
36:58Let's just go
36:59And let her deconstruct on her own
37:01Okay, we'll leave, Taylor
37:03But we hope that you make one of the later flights today
37:06Go talk to Dakota
37:07You can talk to him and not us
37:24Thank you for talking to Whitney for me yesterday
37:27Are you eventually interested in talking to her?
37:29Are you just done with this friendship?
37:32I don't owe her anything
37:33I literally told her
37:35I said, Whitney
37:35If anything, Jen's the least manipulative
37:38Calculated person I know
37:39In fact, she's so not calculated
37:41That, like, she gets herself in trouble
37:42Jen wasn't planning on doing a live
37:44If she wanted to expose you
37:45For the way you've treated her
37:46She would have already done it
37:47I mean, watch the live
37:48It was very much
37:49Should I have said that?
37:51No
37:51Someone asked me if I'm rooting for her
37:53And I say no
37:54And now I owe her an apology
37:56That's what I told her
37:57I said, wait
37:57I'm sorry, I'm not rooting for you
37:59Were you not just saying F you to me last week?
38:03Do you see yourself ever being friends with Whitney again?
38:10Holy shit
38:11Fuck you
38:13Well, I mean
38:16Whitney's, to me, 2.0
38:18Like, I have no interest in
38:20Being friends
38:22Interacting
38:23I'll always be cordial
38:25But, like
38:26Feels like Whitney ruined enough of the experience
38:29And it's sad to me that now that it's over
38:31We're still talking about it
38:32And it feels like
38:33It feels like she's like a parasite
38:35And no matter what thing we do
38:36It always
38:37Like, we can never just enjoy the experience for what it is
38:40And take the positives
38:41Like, and I just want to, like, focus on what you've accomplished
38:43And the positives you took away
38:45You becoming a better dancer
38:46You growing as a person
38:47Like, that's what I wish we were talking about
38:49Not Whitney and her drama
38:50Yeah
38:52When I got eliminated
38:53Honestly, I was
38:56So sad
38:59Gosh
39:00I think the hardest part about leaving Dancing with the Stars
39:05Was how much it brought back my authentic self
39:10And so when that journey was over
39:13I felt like it was almost stripped from me
39:15And so I just remember praying to God
39:17Just being like
39:18Oh, please don't let that version of myself go away
39:22Things are ever going to go wrong
39:24Whenever talking to Whitney
39:27To be honest
39:28I think that's why I want to go back to Utah
39:30Is I want to regroup
39:32Go back to my family and friends
39:34And just really figure out what it is that I want
39:37I think we need to go do something fun
39:38We need to get out of the house and just go
39:40We need to go to the beach
39:41Yeah, we need to go to the beach
39:58This is the thing with being a part of mom talk
40:01Is there are going to be relationships that ebb and flow
40:04But with Jen not even bothering to show up
40:06It seems that my friendship with her is officially coming to an end
40:10Can I still be in this group and have Jen in the group?
40:12Absolutely
40:13Because I'm actually a mature adult
40:15Right now my focus is on bringing home that mirror ball
40:18And then I need to pack for New York City
40:23And what's in New York City?
40:25Roxy Hart
40:28It's official
40:30I booked the lead role in Chicago
40:32And I'm heading to Broadway
40:50I am scared to find a guy that will love me back
40:55And also be willing to deal with a couple baby daddies and kids
41:00But I think if I don't take this step
41:02I do stay stagnant in where I'm at
41:04This is not only like an opportunity
41:06I think for just finding someone
41:08This is an opportunity to get away from the toxicity I'm in here
41:12And I want out of it
41:30I got a later flight
41:32I am in LA
41:33I am exhausted
41:34But I'm here
41:35And I'm happy that I made it
41:39I love you
41:45Hello
41:46Hello
41:47Hi
41:48Hi
41:50Hi
41:50Did you make it?
41:52I did
41:53How was it?
41:55Good
41:55I'm just really tired
41:58yeah i bet so taylor just landed and i feel like this is the last chance i'll be able to
42:03kind of
42:05i don't know even like express to her how i feel essentially just the fact of i've always wanted
42:11you i um i do just want to say sorry for everything that i did i know that that caused
42:20a lot of
42:20problems um not any more specific what you're talking about with shania um you're doing what
42:26what did you do even with you for you know what i did for hooking up with her well be
42:30specific if
42:31you're going to apologize well i think i think everybody knows uh i want to hear it yes i want
42:37to hear how sorry you are for what you did i know i am taylor i'm sorry for what i
42:41did i'm sorry for
42:42hooking up with shania i think was it dumb of me yes well could i pick someone else yes like
42:48who it
42:49was matters and that's where i think i went wrong and i picked somebody that i mean obviously yeah
42:57it was going to come with problems and um i think that was like very shitty of me to do
43:03thank you and it put you in a shitty spot and i know that hurt you really bad
43:07the apology is just words like it always is how many times can he do this where you believe it
43:13and
43:13you suck back into it and it's not true wake up i think there's a lot of pain i think
43:18there's a lot
43:18of things we've done to hurt each other but overall i still think we love each other it's
43:23toxic that's the issue i know it is toxic i agree but that's the thing is i also it doesn't
43:28have to
43:29be this way we make it toxic it doesn't have to be that way this would be the best thing
43:34for us
43:34regardless of like what happens yeah like this would be the best like break and break off of like
43:40our cycles and i think you could do a lot of healing but it's up to you really what you
43:45do
43:45i just feel like i don't know like i am i'm happy for you like i want you to be
43:50happy and if you and
43:51that's what i'm saying if you do find someone like great but all i'm gonna say
43:57save a rose for me okay like if you don't find someone like i know i've been acting like such
44:04a dumb
44:04ass and i've kind of just like fell completely away from who i am and like that's that's why i
44:12love
44:12you it's like like you're the only person that could help me see that sometimes i'm just like
44:19like hey like this isn't who you are
44:22hey just not i think that's not secret to anybody dakota what say it
44:31that there's feelings there obviously can you just admit that you still love me
44:37i love you and i hate you
44:40i think talking to dakota is not a good idea but it's a hard pill to swallow that it's done
44:45and i need
44:45to move on it hurts just say it like oh at the end of the day i do think it's
44:52an opportunity to get
44:52away from him absolutely it's like a dream come true okay they're about to film me getting okay
44:57save me rose say it save me rose
45:03so just let me know
45:07okay bye
45:23the night is finally here it's my annual halloween party last year at the halloween party there was a
45:28lot of rowdiness i have no idea how this is going to go down but this year i'm hoping that
45:32tonight
45:32we can just have a chance to relax and maybe have one night of fun
45:37i am so happy to hear that taylor finally caught a flight to la for the bachelorette
45:42things with taylor and mom talk feel a little unresolved right now but i feel like the bachelorette
45:47is going to be like an eight-week detox where she can't talk to dakota
45:50and it couldn't be coming at a better time
45:52are you flair i'm the new queen bee obviously i should have known
45:59thank you look at she's flair
46:01you look so hot though i'm like obsessed thank you uh where's jace though
46:09i have no idea what i'm like i think he's coming
46:12oh okay you just drove separate yeah okay it's still kind of awkward because i still haven't told
46:17the other girls kind of the state of where jace and i are at and they don't know that the
46:21two of
46:21us are living separately currently and macy's the only one that knows i like my alone time for sure
46:28but also i'm like i don't like being alone at the same time i'm just hoping it gets better
46:34and i just don't want this information in someone's hand like jordan who has a big mouth
46:39jack bass is here
46:43i think it's definitely hitting me the gravity of being separated and what that looks like
46:49i think there's part of me that is definitely scared to lose him because i don't know how long
46:55it's going to take and i don't know how long he can be patient for
47:00yeah i don't know i don't know how to feel about it
47:02just feeling super nice
47:04you can touch me all the time
47:06dan humphrey
47:08hi you're crying
47:10you're crying
47:12you're so good
47:13you're so good
47:15i like love this vibe on you
47:17naughty school girl
47:19he liked it
47:20he's so good
47:22i'm upset
47:23it's a running day
47:25golden golden with a mama only girl
47:27oh my goodness
47:35i'm very grateful for jesse and miranda and how supportive they've been for me throughout this
47:39hard time
47:41sometimes when you're in the midst of an eating disorder it feels
47:45like you're never gonna
47:47be better and you're never gonna
47:49like overcome it
47:51however jesse found one of the number one eating disorder facilities here in the u.s which is amazing
47:57hey guys hello
47:59hi layla thank you so much for coming
48:01thank you i'm a little nervous definitely i feel like i don't know what to expect
48:05okay we have all options we have 24-hour care we have outpatient so we'll just kind of see what
48:10kind of fits your needs what you're looking for
48:12i was definitely anxious going into the center and they kept telling me that they weren't gonna
48:16check me in and have me be impatient but that didn't happen so that's good
48:20are you guys are you all school girls like what's going on hey
48:23how are you i've listened to your book
48:25okay i'm like i'm an hour left it's fucking so good
48:29yeah i'm actually shocked to hear that mason read my book and he was saying how much he loved it
48:33which i was like wait what i like sorry i didn't know guys like read books
48:37maybe that's so horrible of me to say but like despite everything going on in mom talk right now
48:41the reason why i wrote this book was to inspire i think that's what keeps me fighting to save my
48:46friend group to save mom talk and keep them away from all these toxic men because i've been through
48:51a lot of challenges heartbreaks hardships and i just want my friends to be happy i just want us
48:55to thrive and that's a big purpose behind what i do
49:05it looks like his type so we're like we're like we're trying to figure it out
49:14you're crazy i'm not crazy i cannot believe you're here
49:24so shania shows up and uh damn this is a tough spot so it feels a little awkward obviously like
49:33seeing her the last thing i want is for us to have some shit show happen like the last halloween
49:38why is he talking to shania
49:41they're back together
49:42he's so dumb for doing this right now
49:44i'm glad we made a sex pack for sure that was cool
49:46yeah that was badass huh
49:48i want to be fair i also thought it was gonna last a lot longer than what it did
49:53you broke it not me
49:55i know but hang on
49:56wait i know
49:57no no no no no oh my gosh okay technically okay oh fuck
50:04i didn't even well i never got the chance to even tell you this so
50:10uh yeah you're gonna fucking hate it but
50:13you already know probably
50:16it was freaking taylor
50:19the truth is this right now okay this is what i am right now i'm like i'm just emotionally like
50:26i think a little bit more messed up than i thought
50:29i thought i could maybe do it
50:31i would love to be with taylor i would love that opportunity and maybe there's a chance that this
50:35could be something that she needs
50:37if she goes out and dates like 30 handpicked men for her and ends up choosing me at the end
50:42i feel like that's also maybe like a good sign for her like maybe that would help her yeah but
50:48i'm also again i'm in a position to where i don't think i can sit and rely on that either
50:53of having that hope
50:55i do what you know i do what you know i really did care a lot about like how everything
51:00went down and that was really hard to watch and i'm like sorry you had to go through that
51:05i just don't ever wanted to come back on brandon that's my only thing that i care
51:09being back in mom talk it's no secret that taylor and i have kind of been through hell i mean
51:16it's been one thing after the next it seems
51:19you think taylor should still be leading mom talk personally you know maybe we just raw dog mom talk no
51:27leader
51:30we have come so far in just the last few years especially here in the utah mormon culture
51:39because mom talk has flipped typical gender roles we're breadwinners not trad wives with taylor being
51:44bachelorette whitney and jen doing dancing with the stars macy and her book event layla and modeling we
51:50all have so many cool things happening for us oh i love it it really is true that in life
51:55what you do
51:55doesn't matter it's who you spend your time with so having a good supportive group of friends makes
52:00your accomplishments even better i'm not here because i need to pray okay i needed to talk to somebody about
52:08this because like it's kind of been freaking me out a little bit but like taylor told me like
52:13the last time that we did it that she was like ovulating
52:21so she could be pregnant like taylor randomly in bed she goes she's like i haven't had my period
52:26yet okay and i was like i was like from like when like and then she told me i was
52:30like whoa hang on
52:31okay or i could be pregnant bachelorette that's what i'm freaking but because they took her damn
52:37phone before i could ask her and say hey have you did you start your period or what's going on
52:42this is a movie like deep down like you have symptoms you know if you're pregnant like especially
52:47weird too is like then i was trying to think about like how emotional kind of she's been lately she's
52:51been a little erratic yeah like a little bit more it's where i was like dakota this is so
52:55and then she's like sick a few times like i remember telling me she felt sick a little bit
52:58but i just don't i don't know anything can you imagine you guys like she's the bachelorette and she's
53:06pregnant like that's never happened i don't feel like they could keep her on for that i'm scared
53:09to death i don't know if she's pregnant what are you feeling is there a possibility that you know you
53:22could be pregnant
53:44feel the beat of my heart only you can make it stop
53:53at the final part
53:56can you feel the beat of my heart
54:00can you feel the beat of my heart beat of my heart beat of my heart beat of my
54:10heart beat of my heart beat of my heart beat of my heart beat of my heart beat of my
54:13heart beat of my heart beat of my heart beat of my heart beat of my heart beat of my
54:13heart beat of my heart beat of my heart beat of my heart beat of my heart beat of my
54:13heart beat of my heart beat of my heart beat of my heart beat of my heart beat of my
54:14heart beat of my heart beat of my heart beat of my heart beat of my heart beat of my
54:14heart beat of my heart beat of my heart beat of my heart beat of my heart beat of my
54:15heart beat of my heart beat of my heart beat of my heart beat of my heart beat of my
54:15heart beat of my heart beat of my heart beat of my heart beat of my heart beat of my
54:16heart beat of my heart beat of my heart beat of my heart beat of my heart beat of my
54:16heart beat of my heart beat of my heart beat of my heart beat of my heart beat of my
54:16heart beat of my heart beat of my heart beat of my heart beat of my heart beat of my
54:16heart
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