- 4 hours ago
Bait - Season 1 - Episode 05: Lure, Part of a Trap
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00:28Transcribed by ESO, translated by —
00:30I'm not afraid to die today, I could've chose somebody else to love
00:41Give me the gun, I'll take the blame and cover up your darker shade of blood
00:53I'll feel the rain and turn the pain into cold
01:10Hello?
01:19Mommy Baba?
01:25Why?
01:30What's that?
01:49Why?
01:50Why?!
02:14Oh, fuck.
02:23Why not? I'm his partner. You can tell me if he's here or not. You can't keep him. You can't
02:29keep him unless you charge him. Have you charged him?
02:31Listen, like I said to you before, someone...
02:32I need to know if he's here. I've been sat there for over an hour now.
02:35Listen, someone is going to come and talk to you in a minute, so you need to go take a
02:38seat.
02:39Okay, I'll give you ten minutes, and then I'm taking your name and number.
02:45Hi, I'd like to...
02:53Yeah, I'd like to report on missing family.
02:56Whole family's gone missing, have they?
02:58Yes, I think they've been kidnapped by terrorists.
03:03What? Domestic ones.
03:06The white ones.
03:11Q-U-R-R-A-T-U-L-A-I-N.
03:19Two hyphens, okay.
03:20Yeah, that's why she goes by Q.
03:22Okay, I want to go back to the bust-up that you said you had with your family.
03:27Well, that's not really that relevant, because what I'm saying is if you just hack into this, this was set
03:33up in the living room, so whatever's taken place will definitely have been recorded on this.
03:37Yeah, so...
03:38So if we can just get into that.
03:39So that's a very different kind of investigation.
03:41It's a much longer process.
03:42It's a cyber crime, really, and this falls under missing persons, so all we're trying to do is just help
03:47you find the...
03:48Why didn't you report the pig's head when you first got it?
03:51Sorry, well, it's just the details.
03:52Yeah, yeah, yeah, of course.
03:53You know what I mean?
03:55That was...
03:56That's different.
03:57I'm reporting this crime now.
03:59Alleged crime.
04:01I'm sorry, maybe I'm being a bit paranoid, but am I like a suspect or something like that in this
04:06case?
04:06Well, easy now.
04:07You know, no-one said anything about a suspect.
04:09We just need to ask questions, sir, in order to conduct a proper investigation, so that's why I'm asking, why
04:15didn't you report the pig's head?
04:18I thought I could handle it myself, with my private security consultant.
04:22You've got a security consultant?
04:23Because I'm an actor, and I'm in the news.
04:25Sorry, you're in the news?
04:27Yeah, I might be the next James Bond.
04:32Wait, wait, wait, wait.
04:33So you're saying that you're actually, like, a famous actor?
04:36I didn't say famous, no.
04:37I just said, well, actually, yes, my Bond callback is later on this afternoon, but I can't be there if
04:42I'm here, and I'm here because my family aren't there.
04:43Right, so I'm just making sure we've got private security detail, auditioning to be the next James Bond, and got
04:52sent the severed pig's head by racist trolls.
04:55I did, because they don't want me to be the next James Bond.
04:57Right, which is why these people have also abducted your family.
05:02There's my current working theory here.
05:05You sound completely fucking mental.
05:12Okay, mate.
05:13Um, give us a few minutes, and we'll be right back.
05:16All right.
05:22You've got to be kidding me.
05:25What in the shitting hell are you doing, man?
05:30If you keep your mouth shut, then maybe I can focus.
05:33Focus on this, you sentient ballback.
05:36You should be at home preparing for the audition.
05:38Shut up.
05:40And you most certainly should not be here.
05:42You're not the hero of this story to them.
05:46You're the villain.
05:47Trust me.
05:48They're going to Google me, and when they do, they're going to see all the Bond chat, and they're going
05:51to see that I'm telling the truth.
05:52And then they can tell the papers how you showed up here with a severed pig's head.
05:57Think, you turgid gimp.
06:00Think!
06:03Fuck!
06:06Completed.
06:07Thanks, Paul.
06:09No.
06:10Christian, do you understand this?
06:12This one's Christian.
06:13Yeah.
06:14This is God.
06:18Oh, sorry.
06:21Be cool, man.
06:23Police are going to be watching.
06:24I don't know.
06:25I'm just looking for my family.
06:26That's not a crime, is it?
06:27Hey, calm the fuck down.
06:28I saved you back there.
06:30All right.
06:30Okay, I'm sorry.
06:31And thank you.
06:33That's more like it.
06:34All you've got to do is walk normally.
06:38Very weird walk, man.
06:40Very weird.
06:42Be normal.
06:43This is normal.
06:57Oh, whoops-a-daisy.
06:58Gently, cockfingers.
07:01Okay, lock the doors, close the curtains.
07:03Let's run lines.
07:05Auditions in eight hours.
07:07Wait.
07:08Where are you going?
07:09I need to find the right USB.
07:11The only camera that matters is at the screen test.
07:16Shah, time's running out.
07:19Say the words with me.
07:22Do you want to know what it's like doing the dirty work?
07:27Fighting everyone and being no one?
07:30I don't live with myself.
07:33Come on, come on.
07:35Hello?
07:36I'm giving you gold here.
07:39Yes!
07:40That's right, motherfucker.
07:43This is all a distraction.
07:46Classic self-sabotage.
07:48Shit.
07:50Come on.
07:55Fuck.
07:56You're not afraid for your family.
07:58You're afraid of success.
08:01Even if they have been kidnapped,
08:04you're no superhero spy.
08:06Becoming one should be our focus.
08:10Why don't you try helping for a change?
08:12I am helping.
08:14The only version of you that has any value
08:16to your family or anyone else is Bond.
08:20Shut the fuck up.
08:23Oh, God.
08:24Selfies as basic as they come.
08:26Try his birthday, obviously.
08:29Oh.
08:36You don't even know his birthday?
08:38Some brother you are.
08:40Okay, we don't know.
08:42Come, we get back to work.
08:47The security consultant?
08:49Oh, yeah.
08:50If you were this obsessive about your craft,
08:53you'd have a career.
09:06This is a security resolution.
09:09If you see something that doesn't look alive,
09:11speak to star or text
09:13condition transport police on 65016.
09:26This is a waste of time.
09:29Oh, shit.
09:30What?
09:31We've got a problem.
09:32We've got dogs.
09:32Oh, dear.
09:34I'm dry-aged, you realize.
09:36Turn around now.
09:37I can't turn around.
09:38They've spotted us.
09:39It'll be suspicious.
09:40You're a sweaty brown man
09:41with a blood-stained duffel bag.
09:43You're already fucking suspicious.
09:46I'll just shut out, okay?
09:47Just have some faith.
09:49You want to act, aren't I?
09:51Oh, God.
09:54Excuse me, sir?
09:57I'm not doing anything.
09:58I'm not even here to catch a train.
10:00Oh, God.
10:03No, no.
10:04I've got to get back.
10:05Do you mind the vertical in the bug?
10:07Damn, boy.
10:08What's in the bug, sir?
10:10Don't you fucker.
10:11Sir, that won't be necessary.
10:18Yep.
10:22Can you say something?
10:23Good, man.
10:24Have a good day.
10:28How did you do that?
10:29Well, I've still got a few tricks up my sleeve
10:31when it comes to law enforcement.
10:33Must be nice to be tall and white, huh?
10:37Membership has its privileges, shall we?
10:40It's a complete fucking mess.
10:42I tried to go to the police.
10:43Well, there's your first mistake there.
10:44Come on, man.
10:45We're going to find your family, all right?
10:47Okay.
10:48Okay.
10:49It feels good to hear you say that.
10:50Because nobody believes me.
10:52I like him.
10:52He makes me feel safe.
10:54I'm going to put a call out of something called the Kilner system, all right?
10:57Now, luckily, Wembley is CCTV to the hilt.
11:00So if your family have been on any street, actually, in London in the last eight hours,
11:04I will be able to track their exact location down to the inch.
11:07And as soon as I get a ping, you'll be the first to know.
11:10Really?
11:10Yeah, man.
11:11All good.
11:13That's fucking amazing.
11:15I didn't realise your company had that kind of reach.
11:18My company has the biggest reach there is, all right?
11:21Don't worry.
11:21Look, listen, here's the thing, right?
11:22Your family, that's today's problem, yeah?
11:24And what about tomorrow's problem?
11:26Now, do you want to be reactive or do you want to be proactive?
11:30I want to be proactive.
11:31Of course you fucking do.
11:32You are on the precipice of something massive.
11:35And all that backlash that you've been experiencing recently, it will only get worse.
11:39Trust me, I know.
11:40I've fucked the audition and my prospects have gone down the toilet, so...
11:44Listen, I wouldn't be here talking to you now if that was the case, would I?
11:51So you've got your recall later, correct?
11:55Yeah.
11:56Yeah.
11:56So you're going to go in there, you're going to do your audition,
11:59and when you do, those decision-makers will be primed in your favour.
12:09What?
12:10You understand?
12:10How, how, how...
12:12How are you going to do that?
12:19Are you at my five?
12:23It's okay.
12:24Holy fuck.
12:25Okay.
12:26It's not a big deal.
12:27It's not a big deal.
12:28Okay, listen to me.
12:30I'm the only call you'll ever need to make.
12:33We've got your back.
12:38What?
12:39There's a catch, isn't there?
12:41No.
12:42I mean, look, every relationship's a two-way street, isn't it?
12:48So, basically, what we're trying to do is we just want to build bridges to your community,
12:54and in order to do that, we rely on individuals such as yourself just to help us with messaging.
13:00You know, as a prominent Muslim, and soon-to-be more so, your voice, it carries a lot of weight,
13:05Shah.
13:06So, let's use it.
13:07Yeah?
13:10Right.
13:11Shah, let's sidebar.
13:13Now.
13:14Just remember we're the good guys.
13:16Yeah?
13:16Don't forget that.
13:18Shah!
13:24I'll be here.
13:30I mean, that sounds shady as shit.
13:33No?
13:33Shah, I was wrong.
13:35Going to Nigel was a masterstroke, albeit an accidental one.
13:39What are you talking about?
13:40He wants me to be a snitch.
13:42Snitch?
13:43He's not asking you to honey-trap an ayatollah, is he?
13:46He's offering you the role of a lifetime in exchange for some light PR work.
13:51I'm not a sellout fed.
13:53Sorry.
13:53Sellout?
13:54Well, pardon me, Nelson-pissing Mandela.
13:57You want to star in a franchise that brazenly sells watchers, cars, and the British Secret Service.
14:05This is the only way you will land this role.
14:09I guess I just always thought I was someone who represents us to them.
14:15You know, not them to us.
14:17You're not representing them or us.
14:20This is about you, Shah, and who you want to be.
14:24And put simply, do you want to be talking to a pig's head in a toilet, panicking about your career
14:29and your family?
14:30Or do you want to be the hero of this story?
14:34The ultimate shitting hero?
14:36Because that, my friend, is what is on the table.
14:54Shah?
14:57Shah, what the hell are you doing, man?
15:01Hello?
15:03I'm improvising.
15:04Oh, God.
15:05Access.
15:09What the hell are you doing?
15:12This is, again.
15:15Hmm, hold on.
15:20Oh, God.
15:23Oh, God.
15:26Oh, God.
15:29Oh, God.
15:31Oh, God.
15:31Oh, God.
15:32Oh, God.
15:33Oh, God.
15:35Oh, God.
15:36Oh, God.
15:37Oh, God.
15:37Oh, God.
15:37Move!
15:45Watch out.
16:08Okay, okay. What in Satan's gossip did you just do? We were this close?
16:15Answer me!
16:17Hello?
16:17Oh, God, nor improv. No one's watching you, alodorous piss-flat.
16:23What's your problem, man?
16:24My problem is that I care about you, Shah. I want to make you better.
16:29No, it's just because you say that you're trying to help me, but all you're doing is shit on you.
16:32It's tough, love, and it's the only voice you understand.
16:35If I humiliate you, it's to save you from the bigger humiliation of remaining as you are!
16:42You want to chill out. I'm in control now. And I know where we're going.
16:50No, no, no! Please, don't fake hang up on me! You need me!
17:06Ok, let's be honest.
17:21Fine. I'm willing to try things your way. But if we want to be Bond, why are we at Taliban
17:27HQ?
17:28These savage little Ewoks only hold us back.
17:34Don't leave me out here!
17:58Inshallah.
18:02Excuse me. Sorry.
18:04Excuse me.
18:05Uncle, can I have a word, please?
18:07Why are you calling me uncle of the same age?
18:09I mean, sorry.
18:11I'm actually here to look for someone,
18:13someone who's gone missing my brother.
18:16Zulfi. I think you know him.
18:17He's the big guy who does the cabs.
18:19Have you seen him?
18:20Well, Inshallah, we're just about to start praying,
18:22come and join us, and then after we can talk.
18:24Okay, it's just a bit of an emergency.
18:26Excuse me.
18:27Asalaamu Alaikum, everyone.
18:28My family's gone missing.
18:31My parents, Parviz, Latif, and my mother, Tyra Latif,
18:34my siblings, Zulfi, and Q, Qura Tal Ain.
18:38I think some of you know them.
18:40I'm just wondering if you might have heard anything.
18:44I was just hoping someone might be able to help.
18:46Pig! Pig's head! Pig! Pig's head!
18:52Someone's left a pig's head at the front gate.
18:57Pig's head at the front gate.
18:57You're probably best to leave that.
18:59Get alone.
19:02He's...
19:05It's...
19:05He's with me.
19:07It's with me.
19:08It's mine.
19:09It's mine.
19:09Heh.
19:18Go the other way!
19:22Quick, down here!
19:43OI!
19:45Game!
19:47Get in the party, you shit!
19:50Look what you've done, Sha!
19:58You owe me an apology, mate.
20:00And a 90 seconds for the algorithm, yeah?
20:04I told you, your failures would catch up to you.
20:08IDF, bastard! Who recruited you, Mossad?
20:11IDF, 100% Mossad.
20:13I told you.
20:15He's not Dave Patel. He's much too short.
20:18You can't handle them alone.
20:21I told you that you need to be...
20:29Him.
20:48Ah!
20:54Ahp!
20:56Huh?
20:57Huh?!
20:58Huh?!
20:59Uh!
21:03Ah!
21:05Uh?
21:06Ooh!
21:16I don't know.
21:18I don't know.
21:36Yes. Yes. The strong must replace the weak.
21:48Your turn now, Sha.
21:50I don't know.
22:18I surrender.
22:20Surrender!
22:21Surrender!
22:40Surrender!
22:54Oh my god, are you okay?
23:06No, no, no, no, it's not bad, it's not bad, it's not too bad.
23:22I feel like it's pretty bad, feels like I'm missing an eye, am I missing an eye?
23:28You're gonna be okay, all right, you're gonna be okay.
23:31Oh, it's cold, it's so cold, I don't want to die.
23:37Say, I can't do this without you.
23:40I know you really can't, that other guy though, the one chasing you, he had potential, why, why did you
23:52resist?
23:53You tell me, you're the only one who gets it, you're the only one who gets me, that's why I
23:59need you.
24:01But I don't even know who you were.
24:04I was who you needed me to be, hidden inside the voice of Patrick Stewart, which is weird.
24:15You might want to unpack that.
24:20No, no, no, no, don't go.
24:22No, we're a team, okay?
24:25Good luck without me, dickhead.
24:33Hey.
24:35Hey.
24:38Hey.
24:39Hey.
24:50And that's just the price of it all
25:02That's just the price of it all
25:15It's written on these walls
25:18Through the rise and fall
25:21I know I can pretend
25:25That this will never end
25:27If in the end we die
25:30Then I've lost
25:32Well, that's just the price of it all
26:03It's written on these walls
26:08It's written on these walls
26:08It's written on these walls
26:26And this wall
26:26So that's just the price of it all
26:26And it's written on these walls
26:36You know exactly what this is
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