- 4 hours ago
My Fake Office Fiancé
Category
🎥
Short filmTranscript
00:15Oh, fuck.
00:16Okay, time to go.
00:18What is this?
00:19It's 6 a.m.
00:20Oh, my God, baby.
00:21It's too early.
00:22First of all, let me be very clear.
00:24I am not your baby.
00:25Second of all, get out of my house before I call security.
00:28Are you crazy?
00:29No.
00:30Just very busy.
00:32You are seriously kicking me out after all the fun we had last night.
00:37Last night was fun for you.
00:39For me, not so much.
00:41Time to go.
00:42Rapido, rapido.
00:44Let's keep going.
00:45Keep it going.
00:46Hey, listen.
00:48Don't you know who my father is?
00:49You couldn't have had it all.
00:50I'll be treating you like a queen by now.
00:52That is quite the offer for a one-night stand.
00:55You listen to me.
00:56No man in their right mind would ever, but not ever, marry you.
00:59Do you understand?
01:00You are going to die alone, you heartless fucking cow.
01:04Well, lucky for me, I would rather die than get married.
01:07To you or to anyone.
01:09Goodbye.
01:12My shoes are still there.
01:15Fuck.
01:19You're so naughty.
01:21Oh, listen, I gotta go out there.
01:22I love you too.
01:24Well, you look happy this morning, Brian.
01:27Did your boss die or something?
01:29I don't think Satan can die.
01:31But it's promotion day, baby.
01:33I don't know how you do it.
01:35Honestly, you just have to know how to handle a filly like her.
01:38Jenna's tough.
01:39I'd rather work for Jenna than anyone else at the company.
01:41Even when she is being a co-
01:46A new script came in.
01:47I need you to redo the whole thing.
01:50Right.
01:51Big wigs are waiting for you in the conference room.
01:53This is it.
01:55I've worked my ass out for this.
01:57And what a fine job you've done.
02:02I know that shit, Aidingrin.
02:04What do you want?
02:05It's promotion day.
02:06For you and me.
02:08I'm just dreaming of my new window office.
02:10Ooh, out of the question.
02:11What?
02:12Oh, no, no, no, no.
02:13I have done everything you've asked for three years.
02:16You made a deal with me when I took this job.
02:18I stayed with you and put it with all of your-
02:20Look, Brian.
02:21I am the boss.
02:23You are the glorified secretary.
02:25I decide who gets what around here.
02:28You jump when I say jump.
02:30You bow down when I say so.
02:32Got it?
02:33Yeah.
02:34So, on your knees.
02:47That's a good boy.
02:54Don't say shit.
02:57Hi.
02:58Huh.
03:01Jenna, we've had our eye on you.
03:03And we'd like you to be the next CEO.
03:08However, there is one little snag.
03:11For you to be our CEO, you're gonna have to be married.
03:15Huh?
03:16That cold-hearted bitch.
03:18No promotion, huh?
03:20That's it.
03:20I'm gonna quit.
03:21I'm gonna go in there and tell it right to her sadistic fucking face.
03:27I'm sorry.
03:28You're saying my options are I get married in a week or I forfeit the CEO position?
03:36Where is this coming from?
03:38Sure, Ho-ters.
03:41You know my son, Devin.
03:43He's our newest board member, as of this morning.
03:47We know it sounds a little backward.
03:49Shareholders expect traditional family values.
03:53As a single woman, you're just too intimidating for these guys.
03:58Jenna, we need to talk.
04:01All right?
04:03I can't hold it in any longer.
04:04Me neither.
04:05Surprise!
04:07We're engaged.
04:08We're engaged.
04:25Yep.
04:27Engaged.
04:28Brian.
04:31Seriously?
04:32It's been three years.
04:34Arnhem.
04:35Brian Arnhem.
04:35My assistant and the love of long life.
04:40Oh.
04:40Right.
04:41Is this true?
04:44Of course it is.
04:47Jenna King is my kind, sweet, loving fiancée.
04:52Beyoncé.
04:55What did you say to her?
05:02It's all settled then.
05:04We'll get the paperwork made up immediately.
05:07Next week after the wedding, we'll make it official.
05:10Of course.
05:12Engaged means we'll be getting married next week.
05:16It's different when you say, like, it's different when you say, like...
05:19Congratulations.
05:21Congratulations.
05:22See you at the wedding.
05:26You're going down, King.
05:27Not if things went the way they did last night.
05:36But...
05:39What the fuck?
05:41I know.
05:42What the fuck?
05:44I know.
05:45Look, they weren't going to give me the position unless I said that I was married.
05:50I panicked.
05:51Oh.
05:52Well, you can keep panicking.
05:53Because we're not getting married.
05:55I came in here to tell you that I quit.
05:58What?
05:58And the dress selfish asshole.
06:04Okay, that sounded a lot more harsh out loud.
06:07What are you going to do about it, huh?
06:09Fire me?
06:10You are selfish, Jenna.
06:12Yeah, but so are you, Brian.
06:14Oh?
06:15What do you want?
06:18I want a race.
06:20Fine.
06:21No, no, no.
06:21I want a promotion.
06:23Then the race.
06:23This is not a fucking magic lamp, Brian.
06:25Well, then I'll just tell them you lied.
06:26Oh, Devin!
06:27No, no, no.
06:28Okay, fine.
06:28Fine.
06:29You can have a race.
06:31And promotion.
06:31And your promotion.
06:33Yeah.
06:36I didn't know you were so annoying.
06:37Oh.
06:38Well.
06:39I certainly knew who you were.
06:42You're engaged?
06:43Huh?
06:44How could you?
06:47Oh.
06:49What are you doing?
06:51Anything.
06:59It's not like you would tell your ex-girlfriend that you're even seeing someone?
07:03What?
07:04Betrayal!
07:05Tasha, come on.
07:07We went out for one drink.
07:10And then we slept together for months.
07:13Oh, don't touch me.
07:16No, no, no.
07:18As an inter-office relationship, you both are subjected for an HR interview.
07:23Answers to this interview are considered on the record and result in considerable fines
07:28if found to falsely represent the relationship.
07:31Okay, that doesn't sound legal.
07:33I don't make the rules, Mr. Arnhem.
07:36But I do.
07:38Isn't that funny?
07:41As you know, it's a very powerful company, which means that if we ever find out that this
07:47engagement of yours is a sham, not only will you lose the CEO position, but we will be
07:54in the air.
07:55Legal or not?
08:00Question number one.
08:01When was the first time you two were intimate?
08:07Oh, you owe me a big time.
08:11It was after the Poulsen style party.
08:15Yeah, Ms. King, Jenna, invited me as her plus one.
08:23Clark, honey, you said you would do it.
08:25No, I don't want to.
08:26Stop.
08:37And, uh, we shared a very, very special night.
08:42What?
08:44Please, just stop.
08:46What are you doing?
08:47No, I'm not.
08:48Come on.
08:49I'm not.
08:50Okay.
08:51Come on, show me.
08:52What do you got?
08:52Best move.
08:53Step touch.
08:55Okay.
08:59Calm.
09:01Oh, a little bit.
09:09Can I kiss you?
09:11Such a gentleman.
09:14Time to go.
09:22Thanks, Spot.
09:24Let's go.
09:25Let's go.
09:28Yep.
09:30That was the first time we were...
09:32intimate.
09:33Charmy.
09:34Moving on.
09:35What is Jenna's favorite underwear?
09:39This is ridiculous.
09:40Standard procedure.
09:42Yeah.
09:42But if you don't want to go through it, I'm more than happy to tell the board that you are
09:47receiving the offer of CEO.
09:50Black lace.
09:52From Agent Lace.
09:54Collab with Lovely Design.
09:56Is it also standard procedure to, uh, have her strip right here to prove it?
10:00He's so funny.
10:01He's so funny.
10:04Favorite movie?
10:05Speed 2.
10:07Favorite flower?
10:09Peonies, especially when they're not in season.
10:15Well, you two seem to know a lot about each other, right?
10:18But, Brian, did you happen to know that your fiancee here, she was cheating on you last
10:24night with me?
10:30Yeah, well, we, uh, had a sort of last hurrah moment, and, uh, honestly, I'm just surprised
10:38that she spent her last hurrah slumming it with you.
10:44You two better watch her back because I'm coming for you, and I'll expose you, and then
10:50I'll ruin you both.
10:53Good luck.
10:56That was brutal.
11:06I can't believe you slept with that guy.
11:09You're one to talk.
11:10Touche.
11:13He's right, though.
11:16If we're gonna do this, we need to really commit.
11:20You need to move in.
11:21Tonight.
11:24Here.
11:25Take my card.
11:26I'll cover any moving expenses.
11:29Look, this isn't ideal for me, either.
11:32Believe me.
11:33But we need to make it at least look like we're on a united front.
11:41By the way, how did you do that?
11:43Know all the answers to the questions.
11:44It's like you were living in my brain.
11:47Jenna, it's literally my job to know and anticipate everything about you.
11:52Well, it's creepy.
11:54Hey, just be glad they didn't ask anything about me.
11:57What is that supposed to mean?
11:59You know absolutely nothing about me.
12:02That is incredibly untrue.
12:04Where am I from?
12:06A farm?
12:07Mm-hmm.
12:09Ville?
12:10Nice.
12:11How old am I?
12:13Hopefully over 18, am I right?
12:16I'm turning 30 on Sunday.
12:18Really?
12:1830?
12:19And you're still an assistant?
12:22My bad.
12:23Uh, I will take you out for a nice dinner.
12:28Sunday is the day that we're getting married.
12:30Right.
12:33Ranger?
12:36Well, this is serious, Jenna.
12:39All right, it's probably fun for you fucking around with finance bros, but this could ruin
12:45us.
12:46And you might be fine, but I could lose everything.
12:49I'm out on a limb for you.
12:51I know.
12:52I know I'm asking a lot of you, but I swear I will make it up to you.
12:57Starting today.
13:10That's right, mother.
13:12Fuck!
13:17No fucking way.
13:20Welcome home, sweetheart.
13:22What did you do?
13:23You told me I needed to move in, so I moved in.
13:26It's like a fucking manosphere threw up on my house.
13:31Our house.
13:33You know, I'm starting to agree with Devin.
13:35This place could use a bit more of a masculine touch, bro.
13:39Mm-mm.
13:40Oh, and here, these receipts are for you.
13:43Get your feet off of the designer chair.
13:46Were you raised in a barn?
13:48No.
13:49The farmhouse next to the barn.
13:57Two.
14:00God, I love that.
14:06Is this a fucking waterbed?
14:08You know, my landlord would never let me have it.
14:09Where is the $3,000 California king I had custom-made?
14:13Hmm?
14:14Oh, right.
14:15Um, in the alley, being used by a wino as a toilet.
14:19Hey.
14:20Don't worry about it.
14:22Ah.
14:23Oh, come on.
14:24Now we can sleep all close and snuggly.
14:26Very cute.
14:27Now I can see that you're pleased with yourself, torturing me.
14:30Oh, I thought you'd like it.
14:32I don't let anyone sleep with me.
14:34Not even hookups.
14:35Hmm.
14:36This is supposed to be my space away from people.
14:40My sanctuary.
14:42Our sanctuary.
14:43Finish that word.
14:45I will smuggle you with a pillow.
14:52If this is going to work, there are going to be certain rules that we both need to agree to.
14:58A contract.
14:59Hmm.
15:00Got it?
15:01I'm keeping the bed.
15:03Keep the bed.
15:04I will sleep in the guest room.
15:09What does our engagement contract say about consummating the marriage?
15:13Don't.
15:14Take that as a no.
15:15Hmm.
15:16Okay.
15:17Engagement contract.
15:19Here are the terms.
15:20Um.
15:22Sleeping quarters will be separate.
15:26Next, add physical affection only when required.
15:30Like, in public.
15:32Nothing gratuitous.
15:34Gratuitous?
15:40You mean.
15:44Think that.
15:50Yeah.
15:51Try to control myself.
15:58Good.
16:00Nothing gratuitous.
16:02No dating or hooking up until the CEO paperwork is signed.
16:06And my promotion paperwork.
16:08Whatever.
16:09And...
16:11Full and total verbal commitment to each other.
16:13Blah, blah, blah.
16:13I get to pick the wedding DJ.
16:15No.
16:15No DJ.
16:16This is going to be a good old-fashioned courthouse shotgun wedding.
16:20Except I am not pregnant.
16:22Just when I thought you couldn't get any less fun.
16:24Where do I sign?
16:25We, Jenna King and Brian Arnhem, enter into this agreement of engagement willingly and of our own volition.
16:32What?
16:33Were you like a lawyer or something?
16:35Used to be.
16:39What?
16:40I practiced before I joined Purple Rabbit.
16:42Now.
16:44Sign there.
16:53Oh, great.
16:56Great.
16:56Great.
16:56Great.
16:56Great.
16:57Great.
17:03Great.
17:07Great.
17:08It's right. These are my parents.
17:11Mary and Cody.
17:12Your parents.
17:15Your parents?
17:16And you must be Jenna.
17:17It's so nice to meet you.
17:20Appreciate y'all having us.
17:22Right.
17:24Mom, Dad, what are y'all doing here?
17:27You said you couldn't make it home for your big birthday weekend because of work.
17:30So, surprise, we came to you.
17:33We went by your old place, but your roomie said you were here.
17:36And that you were getting married!
17:39Right, yeah. We almost forgot.
17:42We're engaged!
17:43We want to hear all about the engagement after we unpack.
17:48After you what?
17:49Right. Lovely.
17:52Are you guys sure you wouldn't be more comfortable in, like, a hotel or something?
17:57Jenna, they'll stay in the guest room.
17:59Family stays with family.
18:01And hey, you're family now, Jayma.
18:04Jenna.
18:05Plus, we want to get to know the gal that stole Bright's heart so suddenly.
18:09So, how long are you guys staying?
18:12We just wanted to stay for the big birthday weekend.
18:15But now that you two are engaged, we've got weeks of planning to do.
18:22Weeks.
18:24Weeks.
18:25Weeks?
18:26Really?
18:27We will be married and divorced by then.
18:30Why didn't you tell them that we're getting married next week?
18:32Come on.
18:33A courthouse wedding would devastate my mother.
18:35She's so excited about this.
18:36Just play along for a few days until I find a time to tell her.
18:41Fine.
18:42But remember when I said I don't like people invading my privacy?
18:45Well, yeah, I was going to ask you about that.
18:46Are you just afraid of people knowing the real you, or is it more of a preservation thing?
18:49Stop guessing about my neuroses.
18:53I wouldn't have to guess if you'd just trust me.
18:59I do trust you.
19:02Obviously.
19:03No.
19:04You trust me with your schedule and your dry cleaning.
19:07All right?
19:08I know almost everything about you.
19:11You know nothing about me.
19:17Am I wrong?
19:20I'll sleep on the floor.
19:21Uh-uh.
19:23I am just as stubborn as you.
19:25And twice the gentleman.
19:27You're on the bed.
19:46You're on the bed.
19:58You're on the bed.
20:00You're on the bed.
20:05You're on the bed.
20:06Joining me?
20:12You know, for somebody who loves their privacy, you sure hate knocking.
20:16Could you just put some clothes on, please?
20:19This is incredibly inappropriate.
20:22What are you saying, boss?
20:23Oh, yes.
20:24Speaking of, do your parents know who I am?
20:26What do you mean?
20:28Do they know I'm your boss?
20:29Probably not.
20:31You know, usually I just refer to you by one of my pet names.
20:35What pet names?
20:38Satan.
20:39Satan's mistress.
20:40Devil incarnate.
20:42The dark princess of the underworld.
20:44Mainly just variations on the same theme.
20:46Unbelievable.
20:49Truly.
20:53I, uh, don't think this will fit.
20:55I don't think it's a good idea for me to play hooky from work right now.
20:58You know, important business things and assistant.
21:00You could be sick one day.
21:02That witch doesn't deserve you.
21:04Right, Jenna?
21:06I'm sure that witch could do a day without you.
21:09Could she?
21:11It's not like she has anything hugely important going on.
21:16Okay, we'll have fun.
21:17Aren't you coming?
21:18Didn't you say you were between jobs?
21:21I did say that.
21:22Mm-hmm.
21:23Good.
21:24So what do you have in mind?
21:27There's a lookout at the top of the mountain!
21:29Come on, slowpokes!
21:31Sightseeing is very different than hiking, Brian.
21:35Okay.
21:36Oh.
21:38I...
21:41Oh, God.
21:45I just...
21:47I just need to say...
21:48Whoa, whoa, whoa.
21:49Hey, hey, hey.
21:57Okay.
21:58So, more of an inside, girly.
22:00Noted.
22:01I run every morning.
22:03Right.
22:05Cut like a...
22:06On a treadmill, like a civilized person.
22:11This is my nightmare.
22:14What?
22:15Well, all of this.
22:17Strangers in my home.
22:19Hugging me.
22:20A wedding!
22:21A wedding!
22:23Oh, my God.
22:24The thought of a poofy white dress
22:27literally makes me want to puke.
22:33Well, if it's any consolation,
22:34I really do appreciate you being here.
22:37You know, it means so much to my parents
22:39to be here with me,
22:39and they are psyched about you.
22:43Family is everything.
22:45Family is overrated.
22:47Oh, speaking of,
22:48I did invite your parents to the wedding.
22:51What?
22:54Just kidding.
22:56Sort of.
22:57I know family's not really your thing,
22:59but I did make a few fake invitations
23:00and left them on my desk.
23:02And just to really sell it,
23:04I just went to Mr. and Mrs. King.
23:08Is this fun for you?
23:10Terrorizing me?
23:11Oh, immensely.
23:13What do you do for fun?
23:14Besides feast on the unborn?
23:16Um, close the red floor stories deal.
23:19Um, review development slates,
23:21sign paychecks,
23:22manage schedules,
23:23order coffee.
23:24Work, work, work.
23:26You know,
23:26there is such a thing as work-life balance, right?
23:29That is the funniest thing I have ever heard.
23:31Do you think I like being this way?
23:34I have been there since I graduated,
23:36and I still have to work twice as hard
23:38for them to take me seriously.
23:41You're right.
23:42What?
23:44It must suck.
23:46You are the most talented producer they have,
23:49by far.
23:50And it must suck to have to prove yourself
23:52time and time again.
23:53Oh, God, especially when idiots like Devin
23:56just prance on in because they have a dick.
24:00Granted,
24:01I assume it's a pretty small,
24:03oddly shaped dick.
24:04Yeah.
24:05But you do deserve better.
24:14Okay!
24:15Now on to the top!
24:17Buck up, buttercup.
24:25Ma, here,
24:27I know how much you love your chocolate chips.
24:28Oh, thank you, dear.
24:31I sure do love my chocolate chip cookies.
24:34Jenna,
24:35that salad looks delicious!
24:37Oh, yeah,
24:38it's a
24:39chopped salad.
24:40Are you kidding me?
24:42That's not just any chopped salad.
24:43That's the
24:43chopped salad.
24:44Extra chopped,
24:45no basil,
24:46no spices,
24:46just the way she likes it.
24:48Wow.
24:48You're gonna make a great husband, Bri.
24:53Right.
24:54Yes.
24:56Babe.
24:57Right.
25:04Oh, you don't have to be shy in front of us, kids.
25:06You know,
25:06when your father proposed,
25:07he couldn't keep his hands off me.
25:09You still can't keep me.
25:11Stop it!
25:12No, please stop.
25:13No, no, no, no.
25:13You old porn dog.
25:14Please, please don't.
25:15Is it your parents?
25:16Yeah.
25:16Sorry.
25:19Hey, you know,
25:20the old ball and chain.
25:23I am not old.
25:25Oh, well,
25:26you certainly act a lot older than you are then.
25:30Yeah?
25:31Yeah.
25:31At least I don't act like a frat boy.
25:33Right.
25:34Right.
25:34Right.
25:35Right.
25:43Goodbye.
26:02Anybody want a drink?
26:04I know I do.
26:08Right.
26:11Oh, pull yourself together, man.
26:13It's a contract.
26:14Strictly professional.
26:16Right.
26:18Hi.
26:19Do you have anything stronger than coffee?
26:24So, Jenna, tell us what you have planned.
26:28For what?
26:30Oh, boobies, probably.
26:33No, silly.
26:34The wedding.
26:35You are a hoot.
26:39Yeah, probably just something simple like a courthouse.
26:44Probably next week.
26:45Oh, a good old-fashioned shotgun courthouse wedding.
26:49Exactly.
26:50Except I'm not pregnant.
26:53No.
26:54No, you can't be getting married in some dusty old courthouse.
26:57Sweetie, last minute we can work with, but this is going to be your wedding day.
27:02It's fine.
27:03Don't worry, Jenna B.
27:04I will help you every step of the way.
27:07We'll start today.
27:09Ah, I'm actually...
27:11Oh, what did I miss?
27:13We are going wedding dress shopping.
27:16Oh!
27:18She loves dresses, especially wedding dresses.
27:22There's bourbon in here.
27:22Drink.
27:27Oh, isn't everything just so beautiful?
27:32Don't you just love, love?
27:34Uh-huh.
27:38Is something the matter?
27:42Maybe this is also complicated.
27:45Oh, sweetheart.
27:47I'm not going to lie to you.
27:48Marriage is complicated.
27:51If you follow your heart, you always end up in the right place.
27:54And I could see how good and big your heart is, Jenna.
27:58I don't know about that.
28:00It is.
28:01You've got to believe it.
28:05Showtime!
28:07Showtime!
28:32You'll survive
28:33Never give in to a natural emotion
28:36Give in your head
28:38But you know that it just takes some time
28:44Just takes time
28:48Just takes time
29:02I think you found the one
29:11Jenna, you feeling okay?
29:13You're looking a little pale
29:15Yeah, yeah
29:16It's probably just the pike and champagne
29:18And dancing
29:22Oh, hi
29:25I think I'm going to faint
29:27Jenna
29:27Oh!
29:28Jenna, Jenna
29:29You okay?
29:34Yeah
29:34Yeah, I'm good
29:36I'm good
29:36I'm good
29:37You look beautiful
29:40Oh, no
29:46She'll be fine
29:48Take her home
29:50Here
29:51Come on
29:53We'll get you some rest
29:57You know, you weren't kidding
29:59When you said wedding dresses really disagreed with you
30:01Not the time, Bri
30:02I don't even know what happened
30:05Oh, I talked to the doctor
30:07He said you just had too much fun
30:10A little bit of rest
30:11And you'll be right back on your feet
30:14Oh, God
30:14Oh, God
30:20You can have my
30:22Session blanket
30:24Yeah, there you go
30:26Some water over here if you need it to
30:28Your mom's really sweet, by the way
30:31Your whole family is
30:33I'll see where you get it
30:36Was that a compliment?
30:38Maybe we should take you to the ER
30:41Stop, don't make me laugh at my weekend's tape
30:44Sorry, sorry
30:48I don't think anyone's ever actually taken care of me before
30:51Really?
30:53But you make it so easy
30:58My parents never really cared about me like that
31:01It's like their careers and lives were so much more important than me
31:04Growing up, I was a parent
31:08And I think I just started
31:11Seeing and believing, really, that
31:14Showing vulnerability was a weakness
31:17Yeah
31:17Well, that sounds pretty hard
31:19Made me a good producer
31:21But a bad partner, I think
31:23You're not a bad anything, Jenna
31:27I mean, we're all humans
31:28Just
31:30Trying our best
31:33Except Devin
31:34Oh, yeah
31:35Except Devin
31:36Fuck that guy
31:37Fuck that guy
31:39Okay
31:43Fuck Devin
31:44Yeah, fuck Devin
31:46Fuck that guy
31:57Fuck that guy
32:01Fuck that guy
32:02Fuck that guy
32:03Fuck that guy
32:04Fuck that guy
32:04Fuck that guy
32:05Fuck that guy
32:05Fuck that guy
32:05Fuck that guy
32:05Fuck that guy
32:06Fuck that guy
32:14Fuck that guy
32:22hi
32:23good morning
32:26I'm really glad you didn't
32:27turn into a pumpkin last night
32:30or whatever they have in hell
32:31right
32:33cause I'm the devil
32:42thank you
32:46it was really sweet of you to take care of me
32:48what
32:50are you still sick
32:53do you have a fever or something
32:54it feels really nice
33:10are you feeling good
33:18I gotta go
33:20gotta go to work
33:28bye
33:29oh my god
33:36I love Brian
33:45wow
33:49I really have no friends to talk to
33:51maybe Brian was right about this whole work-life balance
33:56oh shit my meeting
33:58okay that is a problem for future Jenna
34:00just get it together babe
34:02and stop talking to yourself
34:03starting now
34:08okay
34:11so with the new script changes
34:13I wish Brian was here
34:17schedule changes
34:19I can't believe she slept with my husband
34:21did I just say husband?
34:23you seem a little
34:24distracted Jenna
34:26no
34:27not a good look for the next CEO
34:29no
34:30no no everything
34:30everything is good
34:31everything is great
34:32let's just pick this up
34:33after the wedding
34:34you seem to have a lot
34:35on your mind right now
34:40yeah
34:43tick tock
34:44tick tock
34:45it all falls down
34:49it's two different nursery rhymes
34:51you moron
34:52did you just call me a moron?
35:01okay I'm just gonna
35:03tell him that I have real feelings
35:04and
35:05be over the thing straight
35:09Jenna
35:10I met your new neighbor
35:19Clark?
35:21long time no see Jenna
35:24oh you two know each other
35:26I'll start dinner so you can catch up
35:28Brian will be home soon
35:30who?
35:31uh
35:31Brian
35:32he's
35:34he'll be home soon
35:35okay
35:37so what are you doing here?
35:39funny enough just moved in
35:40down the street
35:42why?
35:43you hate this neighborhood
35:44things change
35:46people change
35:48look I'm not the man
35:49who I once was
35:50okay
35:51I'm not the one
35:51who let you get away
35:58what we had
36:00that was special
36:01you can't deny that
36:02I
36:03I don't know what to say
36:04say it's not too late
36:06is it?
36:09right
36:14I'm engaged
36:15didn't answer my question
36:16you left me
36:18you broke my heart
36:19you don't know how sorry
36:21I am truly
36:21I wasn't ready then
36:23but
36:23I am now
36:24okay
36:25I'll prove it to you
36:27I don't have time for this
36:29do you love him?
36:31if you do just
36:32tell me
36:32I'll leave you alone for good
36:35oh you've got to be kidding me
36:39Clark
36:40would you like to join us for dinner?
36:42um
36:44no no
36:44sure
36:45hey
36:51come on
36:52dad if you don't mind
36:53oh
36:53sure
36:56here you go pal
36:59thanks for coming
37:00yeah
37:00appreciate it
37:01look at this
37:03alright
37:03let's
37:04scream
37:05ooh
37:06nice
37:07comfy
37:08yeah
37:09it's about right
37:11hmm
37:12Craig could you pass the wine?
37:18Brian could you pass the wine?
37:27hi
37:27I'll do it myself
37:29hmm
37:31Clark said you two go way back
37:33yeah I knew Jen before all sass
37:35no frass
37:38I rather like strong independent Jenna
37:42sass and all
37:43well
37:44any Jenna's better than no Jenna
37:47right?
37:49uh
37:50Jenna
37:51uh
37:52any wedding
37:53progress today?
37:54oh no
37:55we're still
37:56planning
37:57I thought you hated planning weddings
37:59people change
38:01right?
38:25I know you and Clark
38:27dated
38:29but
38:31were you ever in love with him?
38:36we were engaged
38:47glad to see you're still running
38:50mind if I join?
38:52uh
38:56may I?
39:04there
39:09come on
39:16hey
39:25well hey it was great uh catching up Jen
39:30what's up Brian?
39:33what's up
39:39do you make breakfast?
39:43I did
39:45that plate's for you
39:47although
39:47I see you are gay
39:49got a little
39:49something left
39:51he is harmless Brian
39:53really
39:55right
39:55we're gonna be late to meet my parents
40:00you should put a shirt on
40:10oh my god
40:11it's so good
40:12you like it?
40:13it's delicious
40:14and
40:15very good
40:20here
40:21here
40:21broad guy
40:22keep Jim
40:23listening with us
40:25here you go
40:26sweetie
40:30if it isn't the happiest couple ever
40:37that's a spirit
40:41oh
40:44these are the board members of my company
40:46the big day is almost here
40:48are you getting excited?
40:49over the moon
40:50I just have to figure out how to smuggle a wedding cake into a courthouse
40:54oh
40:54no
40:55you can't get married at the courthouse
40:57Devin
40:58call the staff
40:59tell them to prepare the house for a wedding this Sunday
41:02no
41:03can we at least offer you some cake?
41:07well
41:07oh
41:07oh no no
41:08he's probably really busy
41:10he's got
41:10very important
41:11that's when meetings going on
41:12usually
41:13very
41:15I need you to meet me at the cafe right now
41:20how are you guys doing?
41:22oh my god
41:22come right on in
41:24really good
41:24you know what I just realized
41:26we haven't heard the proposal story yet
41:28it must be amazing huh?
41:30so good
41:30please
41:31tell us about it
41:32it was actually
41:34it's a really funny story
41:35really?
41:36um
41:37Clark
41:41Clark
41:42Clark?
41:45I thought your name was Brian
41:51why don't you join us?
41:52we're just hearing about the proposal story
41:54what?
41:55if I do
41:55go on Jenna
42:01it was our anniversary
42:04and um
42:07he wrote me a poem
42:10it was so sweet
42:12and masculine
42:14and harsh
42:16and then he took me to a poetry reading
42:20I didn't know you liked poetry son
42:22I don't
42:23but apparently Jenna does
42:25you know
42:26you know
42:27ode to a fancy urn
42:27is my favorite
42:29go on babe
42:30why don't you
42:31tell the rest
42:32fine
42:33I will
42:35and then he cried
42:37and he cried
42:38and he cried
42:39and then he got down on Whitney
42:40and he proposed
42:41yeah well that's not exactly
42:42how I remember it
42:43fine
42:43then you tell them
42:49pre-wedding jitters
42:53what the hell are you doing?
42:55besides single-handedly
42:55keeping up this narrative?
42:57no I mean
42:57turning into an
42:58unrecognizable puddle
42:59the moment
42:59Clark walks into the room
43:00what are you talking about?
43:01oh you know exactly
43:02what I'm talking about
43:03are you jealous?
43:05no
43:05this is a contract marriage
43:06okay so then
43:07what is it?
43:08you're putting us both
43:08in jeopardy
43:09alright do I need to remind you
43:10that I have real stakes
43:12and that's my family
43:12I'm lying to them
43:13okay well I'm sorry
43:14if I don't know
43:14what you're into
43:16maybe you like poetry
43:16I don't know
43:18anything about me
43:20that is not fair
43:22it is not my job
43:23to know things about you
43:24you're right
43:26but you never tried to either
43:41came to check on you
43:42I'm fine
43:43couldn't sleep
43:44I know you Jack
43:46you're not okay
43:48it's just
43:49a whole wedding thing
43:51and Brian
43:52drives me nuts
43:54he does seem a little
43:56high strung
43:57yeah
43:57yes
43:58he's always like
43:59doing things for me
44:00not like
44:01not like in a patronizing way
44:02in like
44:03a supportive way
44:04and he's
44:05ambitious and smart
44:07which is annoying
44:10and he listens to me
44:11which is
44:12so
44:14weird
44:14I can't stop
44:16thinking about you
44:18can I kiss you?
44:28I'm marrying Brian
44:29in two days
44:29look
44:30I messed up
44:30I can see that now
44:31but
44:32if you have an ounce
44:33of feeling the way
44:34I feel about you
44:35then
44:36you should be mine
44:38I want to marry you
44:39what?
44:42I thought you said
44:43marriage was a loss
44:44of independence
44:45it's worth it
44:46to be with a person
44:47you love
44:50yeah
44:52you're right
44:58hey
44:59think about it
45:08did you buy it?
45:10every word
45:11sweet
45:12very sweet
45:17just play the part
45:18until she falls for you
45:19and break it off
45:20with that loser
45:21Brian
45:21then you're gonna be free
45:22to leave her again
45:23and I'll get you
45:24the rest of your money
45:25you got it
45:26I'm so glad you're again
45:27win-win for me
45:28I get paid
45:29I get some tail
45:30in the meantime
45:31I kind of forgot
45:32how hot she is
45:33I like you Clark
45:37hey hey hey
45:39you need to talk
45:42I need your help
45:44to teach someone
45:45a lesson
45:48like a team
45:50you're a team
46:00I said you hated
46:01hiking
46:03like you said
46:05people change
46:05glad you called this morning
46:07look I like Bri
46:09but no one
46:10makes me feel
46:12the way you do
46:23God I've missed you
46:29can we baby
46:31here
46:32hey
46:33I am all yours
46:34yeah
46:35do whatever you want
46:36what about Brian
46:37what about Brian
46:44I don't have to take my shoes and socks off
46:47right babe
46:47I mean
46:48there's pokey stuff everywhere
46:49that actually depends
46:51on if you want to hike down fully
46:53nude or not
46:57I think I'm gonna puke
46:59I think I'm gonna puke
47:01oh god
47:02I know this was part of the plan
47:03but watching that was truly sickening
47:05oh well at least you don't have his tongue in your mouth
47:07whoa whoa whoa
47:08what's going on
47:10we need to talk
47:11there is nothing
47:13between me and Clark
47:15there was at one time
47:16but that is over
47:18I am marrying you
47:23go to bed
47:26every time you come into my life
47:27you fuck it up
47:29you're the reason I didn't want to get married
47:31you are a pathetic
47:34impotent excuse for a man
47:37even if I hadn't seen this video
47:39of you and your little dirtbag boyfriend this morning
47:42I knew you were up to something
47:44so I strung you along until I could figure it all out
47:48thank you for coming to Jenna King's TED Talk
47:50Kobe
47:51oh no no
47:51oh come on
47:55that's fine
47:56thanks for doing this
47:58have a nice hike down
47:59douchebag
48:00brought in hell
48:01bye
48:08oh dear
48:09you look beautiful
48:11thank you
48:12I want you to meet Grandma Sandra
48:14she has something special for you
48:16Grandma
48:18welcome to the family
48:21we want you to have this
48:23oh I really
48:25oh yes
48:27absolutely
48:28yes yes
48:29we insist
48:29it's an Arnhem
48:31family heirloom
48:32and we want you to know
48:34every time you look at it
48:36that you belong
48:38farming
48:39fun
48:40and family
48:42family
48:57hey now
48:59I told Jenna this already
49:01but I got the whole CEO paperwork right here
49:04now
49:05during the wedding ceremony
49:07you're going to sign the marriage certificate
49:08but you'll also sign this
49:10make it all official
49:13welcome to married life son
49:14alright
49:18that's your last chance bro
49:21I know it's all lies lies lies
49:25I'm going to make a deal
49:26for both of us
49:27so we can get what we want
49:28if you are Jenna
49:30I'll promote you
49:32to her job
49:33and I'll pay you
49:34three times
49:35the raise
49:36but if you go up
49:37and sign that deal
49:39I'm going to make good on my promise
49:41to ruin both of you
49:42my offer stands for five more seconds
49:46five
49:47four
49:49three
49:50two
49:52you know what
49:53you're right
49:54you are very consistent
49:57consistently the biggest
49:59D-bag I have ever seen
50:01enjoy
50:02having Jenna as your new CEO
50:05bye
50:13thank you
50:14that's all
50:34there's a bunch of
50:34and I'll dwell
50:34at the center
50:34and he feels
50:34he's a big
50:34yeah
50:35how do you know
50:36he's
50:45are
51:17It, uh, looks like our plan's gonna go off without a hitch.
51:23You sure about this?
51:27Stop the wedding!
51:36Oh, my God.
51:41This marriage is a sham.
51:45As you can see in this contract right here, dated a week ago.
51:50I told you you shouldn't have given it.
51:51About the time, Brian.
51:52They have deceived this company.
51:54And they have deceived all of you, ladies and gentlemen.
51:57Oh, my God.
52:00What's he talking about?
52:02I'm very glad you asked.
52:03In order to get promoted, Jenna, right here, forced her assistant, Brian, to marry her.
52:15Is this true, Jenna?
52:29You know, you would have made a really shitty lawyer.
52:32What?
52:33Look at the bottom of that page.
52:37I didn't sign that.
52:40You can wave that piece of paper around all you want.
52:44It's not gonna do anything for you.
52:46Because I made a promise to Jenna that I would marry her.
52:50And that's exactly what I'm gonna do.
52:53You didn't sign the contract?
52:54Nope.
52:57So you did all of this because you're a good person.
53:06I'm sorry.
53:07I can't do this.
53:09What?
53:12You have given me so much.
53:14What are you doing?
53:15You've given me years of your life.
53:17I threatened to ruin your career.
53:20I forced you to lie to everyone.
53:23I forced you to pretend to be in love with me.
53:26You don't have to do this.
53:27You cannot stop.
53:28I'm sorry you ever met me.
53:33Wait.
53:37Just let me go.
53:39Trust me.
53:46I don't deserve this.
53:47No.
53:48I don't deserve to be a part of your family.
53:51You don't get to decide this.
54:06I guess she did all the dirty work to ruin both of you.
54:12I don't deserve this.
54:12That's why you'll never be CEO.
54:15What?
54:15Devin, you are an embarrassment to this company and to our family.
54:21If you insist on acting like a child, you are going to be treated as one.
54:26Go to your room and stay there.
54:31Daddy, I can explain.
54:32Please.
54:43So how you doing, son?
54:45Pretty shitty, Dad.
54:49I'm sorry I lied to y'all.
54:51You do what you have to do for true love.
54:54Including never giving up.
55:01Everyone can go home.
55:02It's over.
55:03She's gone.
55:08It's not over, Brian.
55:10Go find her.
55:12So what are you waiting for, son?
55:32Jenna, it's me.
55:35I know you're in there.
55:49Can I come in?
55:50I don't deserve this.
55:54Not after everything I've done.
55:58But you don't love me.
56:01This is all fake.
56:03I don't think you can fake the kind of connection we have.
56:06Do you?
56:09Why are you doing this?
56:10You don't need me.
56:12They offered you my position.
56:15Jenna, I quit.
56:18You what?
56:22Why?
56:24Devin offered you the position.
56:26That's your dream job.
56:27Why would you do that?
56:28I don't want to be anywhere you're not.
56:30Brian, I'm...
56:30Look, I know what you're going to say.
56:32Okay?
56:33Because I know you.
56:34Better than anyone else.
56:38And I also know that I love you.
56:50And I have loved you.
56:52From the day that I met you, Jenna King.
56:56And even when I've hated you.
56:58Which I have.
57:00Many, many times.
57:03I've still always been head over heels in love with you.
57:07So.
57:09What do you say?
57:11No contracts.
57:12No professional strings attached.
57:22Will you marry me?
57:25For real?
57:28I love you, Brian.
57:30I love you, Brian.
57:32I love you, Brian.
57:42Brian, do you take Jenna to be your lawful wedded wife?
57:46So this is what you wanted?
57:48To get married tonight.
57:50I do.
57:53I don't want to spend another birthday without you.
57:55And Jenna?
57:57I do, too.
57:58You may now kiss your bride.
58:27Put the script in Cayman's hands.
58:29See if he likes it.
58:30Okay, oh.
58:31Hi.
58:33Oh, hey, could you get me a coffee?
58:34What happened to our new assistant?
58:36Amy's out there at the desk.
58:37Uh, Amy, could you grab us two lattes?
58:38Sure thing, boss.
58:41I'm the really tall guy.
58:42Yeah.
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