- 4 hours ago
Virgin Island Season 2 Episode 4
Category
📺
TVTranscript
00:00Living without it.
00:01The thought of having sex with someone.
00:03Scares me.
00:04It gives me the ick.
00:05I'm missing out.
00:06Terrified.
00:06Nerve-wracking.
00:07Gut-wrenching.
00:08Embarrassing.
00:09All I think about is what I'm going to get wrong.
00:12Can you point to the outer labia?
00:15Nope.
00:19Now, 12 virgins are getting a crash course in intimacy.
00:23Social media, porn, dating apps.
00:26There are so many negative messages and we can help them blossom.
00:29Use it by stimulating the area.
00:31They'll be guided by experts.
00:33You see yourself as?
00:35Propulsive.
00:36To explore all aspects of intimacy.
00:39And maybe even have sex with a trained therapist.
00:43Do you want to put a condom on?
00:45Or each other.
00:47Get a room, guys.
00:50I really do need to change my life.
00:52Who will be ready?
00:54Desperate times call for desperate measures.
00:56To go all the way.
01:05Over the past few days on Virgin Island...
01:08I feel so connected to you.
01:09Can I grab your butt?
01:10Learning the dynamics of dating...
01:12This is only phase three.
01:15What do I do?
01:17You have to stare into my eyes.
01:18...led to Callum and Katie becoming closer.
01:21Callum, you let me giddy.
01:23Tegan...
01:23Radar with my eyes?
01:24Mm-hmm.
01:25...found self-acceptance in surrogate partner therapy.
01:28I'm definitely a lesbian.
01:30I think that's the best I've ever felt.
01:32And Bertie...
01:33You can kind of be all the way up and you can use my hips.
01:36Yes.
01:37...seems to be getting over his inhibitions.
01:39All that thrusting has made me hurt my bollocks.
01:43Now, the group face their biggest challenge yet.
01:47Bear in all.
01:48Nudity is really the phase that people dread.
01:51There are so many negative messages around bodies
01:53that the thought of, like, looking at yourself in the mirror
01:55can be really daunting.
01:57Noticing if you feel like you want to continue getting undressed.
02:00Lack of body confidence gets in the way of sex.
02:03Learning how to relax around nudity
02:05is an essential step in a sexual connection.
02:15Day seven.
02:16Almost the halfway point on Virgin Island.
02:22Oh, no.
02:24Oh, my gosh.
02:26And for many in the group, their biggest challenge yet.
02:29It's time to face and conquer the thing
02:31that may have been holding you back,
02:33as the next phase is nudity.
02:35Please come to this workshop in as few clothes
02:37as you feel comfortable wearing.
02:38This is what I've been most scared for.
02:42It's a crucial stage.
02:44Morning.
02:45Morning.
02:46What happens today could define progress
02:49for the rest of the retreat.
02:50Have you read your letter?
02:52Yeah, I'm hoping we wouldn't be doing this one.
02:54I would like to feel less shameful anxious
02:58about going fully undressed.
03:00I just don't think I would ever be able to do it.
03:03How are you feeling?
03:04I'm freaking out.
03:05Yeah?
03:06I don't want to do this.
03:10I really hate my body,
03:11and I really hate what I look like.
03:13So I'm really scared.
03:15My whole body just now feels really tense.
03:18Good morning, Becky.
03:20Is it a good morning, really?
03:22Even when, like, I've worn a checkered shirt in public,
03:26because I'm worried that the bits, like, near the buttons expose the skin,
03:30I've always worn a vest under that.
03:32That's how self-conscious I've been about my body.
03:35I'm going to put my best sports bar on.
03:43Oh, I just want to hide.
03:45Do you want?
03:46As I'll ever be.
03:48In front of the experts and their peers...
03:50Here we go, everyone.
03:52...today's workshop is an opportunity for the virgins...
03:55Good morning.
03:57Hello, hello.
03:58...to prove how much confidence they have or haven't gained at the retreat.
04:03Welcome to the nudity phase of the course.
04:06There are so many negative messages out there
04:08that make us feel horrible about our bodies,
04:11and we really want to help you change that.
04:14Because at the end of the day, if you want to have sex,
04:17you will need to be naked in front of your partner,
04:19and that can be very awkward if you don't feel good about your body.
04:23So in a moment, we're going to start going up to the mirror one by one,
04:27and then disrobe.
04:29We believe the more that they're willing to reveal in this workshop,
04:33the more it can be rewarding,
04:35because that barrier of like,
04:37oh, no, I've never done this before, finally is gone.
04:40Learning how to see their bodies as beautiful,
04:43how to take a compliment,
04:45and how to say, this is my body.
04:48Who knows they want to walk first?
05:03For 22-year-old Millie,
05:05body image has been a long-standing challenge.
05:09Hello.
05:11I've never been at peace with my body.
05:14Over the past few years, I've just been like,
05:17that should be toned or that should be slim.
05:20Take your time, sweetheart.
05:22It's OK. Take your time.
05:25And I think if I'm not liking my own body,
05:29how can anyone else?
05:31Yeah.
05:46I love your body.
05:48I like it.
05:49It's OK.
05:50You can let the feelings come up.
05:54I can take it in.
05:56I really like my boobs.
05:58I feel like they're a little weird.
06:01My boobs are very similar to yours.
06:04They serves me very well.
06:08This is my body.
06:12This is my body.
06:19Who's ready?
06:23Callum.
06:27Go on, Callum.
06:30Last time someone's probably seen me naked,
06:32it's probably went, hmm, I don't know.
06:33Maybe when my mum walked in on me while I was changing.
06:36I can't think of any time that I've been naked in front of someone.
06:39Whenever you're ready.
06:44Anything you want to share about your body?
06:46I've got quite strong shoulders.
06:48Can I take these off?
06:49Oh, please.
06:50Yeah?
06:50Yeah, I didn't know you were going to.
06:52Yay.
06:52Young lip ones.
06:53Woo!
06:56Now you can say, this is my whole body.
06:59This is my body.
07:02Woo!
07:05Woo!
07:09Woo!
07:10Woo!
07:10Woo!
07:10Woo!
07:11Woo!
07:15Woo!
07:15The perfect proportion.
07:18To face their reflection.
07:20Can you look at the mirror and say, this is my body.
07:23This is my body.
07:24While some have the confidence to bear all.
07:26The first thing that I thought was, damn, she's fucking hot.
07:33This is my body.
07:34I'm confident by myself.
07:36This is my body.
07:38My body.
07:38This is mine.
07:44others can only reveal so much the power in your body is very attractive
07:59ed would you like to come up
08:03i don't like being nude around people mostly dance like my scars and my disability
08:09my disability is colon syndrome i've got a smaller hand bent fingers no knuckle
08:16whenever you're ready you can disrobe i don't particularly like any part of my body
08:22um certain bits stand out more scars from surgery a lot of stuff i've done to myself
08:28my first relationship that part quite quite badly for me i was self-harming
08:36i've come to terms with the reason i did it and although people say no one will notice
08:41to me they will you don't hear about a lot of males doing it yeah um it's quite a difficult
08:48thing how would you feel if i just touched your scars with some love yeah yeah let's see if you
08:56can look at yourself let's take one more second and you can just say this is my body this is
09:04my body
09:09the majority of the group have faced their own reflection bertie would you like to come up
09:16bertie is one of the last
09:19i don't like the way i look without my clothes on i tend to not look in the mirror
09:25because it's i don't think it's a pretty sight
09:31take a moment and look at me okay
09:35when you're ready just to glimpse at the mirror and if you need to come back to my eyes
09:40yeah good job you're doing it great
09:46can you say this is my body
09:51this is my body
10:01katie would you like to step up
10:05i've always hated my looks on my body
10:09back in school i really struggled with my confidence
10:14i don't think there's anything about me that i like especially looks wise i really just don't like it
10:24um i was always the monster um i got bullied really badly i've spat out had things thrown at me
10:31um social media pages made of me where they've edited my face onto like different
10:35like animals and stuff um yeah i've always been insecure and just hated the way it looks
10:51okay brave woman
10:55yeah you're doing great
11:00do you want to start and just say what you see
11:05i don't like it
11:06i don't have a mirror at home so i don't see this
11:11wow so you want to take a minute and actually see if you can bring some loving eyes to your
11:16body
11:18oh my god
11:19yeah it's okay
11:21do you want to just say this is my body
11:26this is my body
11:38i feel like you are the bravest people on the planet
11:42one more step into self-reclamation and self-love
11:55hi guys
11:56hi hello oh my god you guys have clothes on i know who are you how's everyone for you though
12:02terrible terrible i'm just not happy about being on my scars and stuff i really never noticed them
12:08also scars are cool i have so many which i love on my body i'm like no they look sick
12:12i don't mean like accidental surgery i mean my self-arm scars
12:16my scars i don't think i'll ever be kind of secure with them they're kind of a memory of a
12:22worst timer really
12:25bad later everyone that went naked i wish i could have done that my boobs should have sagged down to
12:30my knees
12:32have you heard that song do your boobs hang low do they wobble to and throw
12:38can you tie the little knot can you tie the little bow
12:42that was really hard
12:43i didn't enjoy it at all
12:46it was just mental games in my head
12:48i didn't want to do it but i knew i had to
12:50to just take this process one step further
12:54you're doing really well
12:55this is the phase that i've been scared about the most
12:57and that we're in it and i just feel like shit
13:08are you staying over here or are you going over there
13:10i'm just going to stay over here
13:12don't want to leave you on your own
13:14sometimes i like being in my own company but uh
13:16i'll get that
13:19as long as there's no like an awkward silence
13:21yeah
13:25it's lunchtime on virgin island
13:28i wanted to be asking you that joke
13:30go
13:31your weight is the least interesting thing about you
13:33and for some of the group the nudity phase has brought up deep-seated emotions
13:38but it's the first thing you see about me
13:40no it's not
13:41it's not your face
13:41it's really not
13:42your face is the first thing you see
13:43and you're also beautiful
13:44and your body is great as well
13:45so it's like it's
13:46it's clearly
13:46and your personality is top tier
13:52yeah
13:53today we started the nudity phase and so many of them found a mirror
13:56for the experts one person in the workshop particularly caught their attention
14:01i was super proud of katie when she was a child in school people called her a monster so for
14:08her to come up and to be only in her underwear was extremely brave
14:12yeah i'm really looking forward today to checking in and saying hey what's happening here
14:16she is indicating some deeper emotions with regards to how she sees herself and her self-worth
14:23with katie's pastel shaping her self-image she's meeting clinical therapist abby to explore what lies beneath
14:31everyone i watch on tv or on social media they're all these beautiful skinny model looking people i'm sat here
14:39and i'm the complete opposite
14:42i'm terrified to be naked in front of someone i feel like they're going to look at my body and
14:47just pick apart every single bad thing like i do
14:53hi
14:54hi come on in
14:57my biggest fear if things carry on and i don't lose my virginity is honestly not being able to have
15:03my own family
15:04i want to hear from your perspective what are the things that you want out of out of this work
15:09i really really would like to be more confident i feel like i've got zero body confidence and it's bringing
15:15my daily life down
15:18i got badly bullied like throughout the whole of secondary school
15:21what have they made comments about just like how big i am how ugly i am
15:27do you find yourself big or ugly you do
15:31yeah i always hate the way i look and i always put myself down
15:37um i don't like anything about myself inside or out so i really do struggle
15:44yeah
15:47what do we know about bullies
15:48the whole people
15:51why is their voice that important to you
15:53i just feel like because they just align like their thoughts and my thoughts they're just they're the same
15:59so if i'm thinking it and they're saying it then it must be the truth
16:02mm-hmm
16:03because you see yourself as
16:05repulsive
16:08how does that feel hearing that out well
16:10sad
16:13yeah
16:17you're the furthest thing from repulsive
16:21you're you're a human being
16:24i don't see that though
16:26what do you see
16:29a monster
16:32yeah
16:33and i felt like this for so long
16:35i genuinely don't think i've ever looked to myself and been like even yeah half decent
16:40like not even like a oh we look cute today
16:42no
16:48change can occur in incremental steps
16:53is there any part of your body you appreciate
16:58my hands
16:59take it a step further
17:00your nails are done
17:03yeah
17:03they look really pretty
17:04can you appreciate the fact that i like taking care of my hands and my nails because it makes me
17:09feel
17:10makes me feel good
17:12okay
17:12i think the more you practice it and the more you give yourself that permission to get out of that
17:17old language
17:19it's gonna take time
17:20and also it's a practice
17:23right
17:27thank you
17:28thank you
17:28thank you
17:31this phase is the hardest for me just because my own body actually terrifies me
17:35we just took one extra step today so i'm just hoping that i can accept it
17:41and accept myself
17:48how was your one-to-one
17:51cried a little bit
17:52aww
17:53when i had to bring up like all the old bullying and stuff but um she just said say nice
17:58things to yourself accept all the compliments and yeah
18:01really good to you glad you had a good one
18:03yeah
18:04if you're happy we're happy
18:05yeah
18:06you look quite beautiful by the way you're like your skin's really glowing
18:10i don't know
18:11maybe it's like all the vitamin d that you're getting every day
18:18i don't know
18:19hello mate
18:19go on for it bertie
18:21i've tried this on the first day actually
18:23like katie this morning's workshop brought bertie's body insecurities into sharp focus
18:29i wouldn't do that
18:30oh okay
18:30what do you want to what do you want to train
18:32i have no idea probably the arms
18:33bring it behind your head
18:36that's that's good yeah yeah yeah
18:37yeah
18:39god bertie
18:42actually might lie down
18:46i see myself as very overweight and not attractive at all on a looks front
18:55whenever if ever i have sex for the first time it would uh probably be uh horrendously awkward
19:03and yeah the thought of me having sex is even making me laugh because i can just imagine it being
19:10so bad
19:18when birdie came up to the mirror it is such a hard step for him
19:22he was really proud of himself it was a huge deal for him
19:25birdie is one of the least experienced in the group
19:28he's never kissed a girl he just needs to connect with his body
19:32yeah i'm really excited to see what we need to do to feel more connected
19:36it's so foundational to have body acceptance and it makes progress possible
19:44progress for bertie could eventually mean having sex with surrogate partner therapist
19:48cat hi good afternoon
19:50if he can overcome his body issues
19:53how did you feel about the workshop
19:55when i was wearing my boxers it was one of the biggest things i've ever done in my life
20:00i have um i have a quite a an insecurity about the size
20:11that's what it is
20:12to build confidence cat introduces an exercise focused on boundaries and consent
20:17called may i will you
20:19um may i caress your arm
20:21um okay yes
20:23can i do it on both hands
20:24no because that was the ask so we want to stay with what you asked
20:28yeah
20:32how did that feel
20:33it felt very nice
20:36may i suck your dick for five minutes
20:41uh
20:41uh
20:42no
20:42yeah yeah that was a great answer
20:45yeah
20:46i think we're not at that stage
20:47yeah good job good owning you now
20:50but i'm not ruling anything out
20:52um
20:54may i kiss you on the cheek
20:57yes
21:02will you
21:04i feel like i just want you to like sit on me
21:08uh
21:09i've got quite a big bottom i don't want to crush you so
21:12it's really really important that birdie feels so much more confident with himself with his body
21:17and i don't think he'll feel safe being himself in intimacy without a lot of permission
21:21and that's something that surrogate partner therapy can really give
21:25just lay back
21:26all the way
21:27you alright?
21:28yeah i'm alright
21:28okay
21:32and guess what?
21:33what?
21:34you're not too heavy
21:39thank you
21:40thank you
21:40okay um
21:42i have an idea in mind
21:45um
21:46it's something that has never happened to me before
21:51um
21:53i was thinking
21:55may i have my first kiss with you
22:00i've not kissed anyone romantically
22:03which
22:03at 24 is a
22:05very
22:06strange thing to say
22:08when that is the
22:09very
22:10like almost the first
22:11kind of step
22:12in a relationship
22:13and i haven't even done that
22:17there's no shame
22:18okay
22:19alright
22:19and don't
22:21i don't want any tongues or anything like that
22:23no
22:23perfect
22:23just normally
22:24yeah
22:25and you don't have to like
22:27you can just kind of relax
22:28okay
22:29i don't want them to be too dry or anything
22:30no
22:31don't worry about it
22:31okay
22:39good
22:40that was my first kiss
22:41you did great
22:46wow
22:46that was fantastic
22:47that was
22:48yeah
22:49that
22:50that
22:50yeah
22:50um
22:53thank you
22:53thank you so much
22:54as bertie's confidence grows
22:58there we go
23:00he feels able to go further
23:06also
23:06side note
23:07i can tell just from
23:08under your pants
23:10that you don't have to worry about size
23:11just so you know
23:12well
23:13it's uh
23:14it's
23:14it's
23:15i'll say it
23:16it's very stiff at the moment
23:17but when it's not
23:19that's the problem
23:20okay you're a grower not a shower
23:23yeah
23:24yeah fair enough
23:25very very lovely
23:28thank you very much cat
23:29love you bye
23:32i am feeling
23:33absolutely incredible
23:35i feel like
23:36the stress has been
23:37evaporated
23:39the next session
23:40i could potentially be getting my clothes off
23:43maybe even fully naked
23:44we're making very good progress
23:53it's day two of the nudity phase on virgin ireland
23:56halfway through now
23:58yeah
23:58i can't even think what's going to happen today
24:00it should be easier
24:01no i never say that
24:03we say that every time
24:04never say that alex
24:05no
24:06no
24:10building on yesterday's body acceptance
24:13today's workshop is designed to take the group further
24:17oh my god
24:19into more explicit territory
24:22we have giant genitals on display
24:23because we want to just normalize
24:26every different kind of genital
24:28welcome
24:28i don't know where to look
24:30this workshop is all about getting familiar with your genitals
24:33and to understand where the pleasure centers are
24:36and how to start to get in touch with them
24:38any feelings that come up with it
24:40is you
24:40very uncomfortable
24:41mm-hmm
24:43i'm less uncomfortable
24:44it's more like an intrigue kind of thing
24:45i feel more comfortable with this side
24:48hence why i'm sat here
24:52first thing i want you to notice is they'll look very different depending
24:56we want to invite jason up
24:59oh my god
24:59if they want to have sex
25:02didn't even notice
25:03the virgins are going to have to get better acquainted with real live genitals
25:08i have touched like a penis
25:09couldn't see it
25:11it was dark
25:13i think i'm comfortable with female anatomy and male anatomy
25:16i mean maybe men are a bit more gross but
25:19i've pecked a lad before
25:21and that's as far as any physical contact has ever gone with me and another lad
25:26the first thing you'll see is that i am circumcised
25:29so my foreskin doesn't cover the head or the glands of my penis
25:33this ridge here where the head meets the shaft
25:37this is called the corona
25:40and this spot here is the frenulum
25:44and this is also very very sensitive
25:47thanks for going on this tour with me
25:52i don't like this
25:55cad would you like to come join us
25:58i've watched pornography and i think the vaginas that i've seen i worry that you know mine's not normal
26:06i think i know what i'm talking about but truthfully i've probably got no bloody idea
26:11all right
26:12i obviously know what the female anatomy looks like but um i wouldn't know uh where to go put it
26:20that way
26:21here is my vulva
26:24here's the outer labia
26:25and then in here you have the inner labia
26:29and here's the clitoral hood
26:31and then there's the clitoris
26:34i don't want to see other people naked
26:36it doesn't come naturally to everyone
26:39i don't feel comfortable
26:40also where it feels good to be touched can change a lot within a sexual experience
26:46so it's just important to be able to communicate with your partners about what feels good
26:56any feelings that come up
26:57i was uncomfortable at first but i feel like i've learned a lot
27:00do you feel that your comfort level changed a little bit
27:02a little bit i still don't know where to look but
27:04it is overwhelming like don't get us wrong
27:10cheers guys
27:11thank you
27:11bye
27:15that whole thing i hated
27:17it made me really uncomfortable just from start to end
27:20i'm glad they showed a variety of different yeah that's that's what i think
27:24it's the first time i've ever seen over up close and i rather enjoy that
27:29i'd be lying if i said it wasn't weird but i um actually found it quite useful
27:34how do you find it better
27:35all of a sudden i've gone off with somebody mega mate
27:44so what did you think about the naked pictures
27:47i'm not gonna lie from far away it looked like trees
27:49there's some kind of wood in it so
27:51yeah
27:53nice
27:55i don't know if this is just a male thing but it just seems like vaginas have got a lot
27:58more going on
27:58i also know now i'll never fully judge a guy for not finding a clip
28:02there was a couple where i was like i need to find it as well
28:06i was like okay cool got it
28:09thank you to jason and cat
28:11lesson i feel like a lot more confident moving forward
28:19it's not just the workshop that is giving will confidence
28:22you're letting that touch land in your body
28:25as aisha takes steps to help him with his fears of premature ejaculation
28:30what level of arousal did you feel
28:33really pressurable
28:34but like i wasn't shooting over free really
28:38okay
28:39meanwhile joy is building up her techniques to overcome vaginismus
28:44touch your perineum
28:45yeah
28:45if you kind of like come up from the perineum a little bit your finger will dip in
28:51yeah
28:52yeah
28:52what are you noticing if you're doing that
28:55there is no discomfort
28:56i didn't clench up in fear and i was able to experience a little bit of pleasure
29:03i've shown like myself that i can do it even if it's just for that one little thing
29:07so see how next session goes
29:10as joy's confidence builds
29:12it's more of a practical session today
29:14yeah
29:15so too does tegan's work with surrogate partner therapist riston
29:19she's showing me her vulva
29:21this is the vagina
29:23that is hot
29:27as things escalate from looking
29:30into touch
29:33hello
29:34come sit and we'll chat
29:35absolutely
29:36we had talked about doing genital touch today
29:39yes
29:39how are you feeling about that
29:40a little bit of nerves
29:41yeah but which is natural
29:42but no i mean i'm excited
29:44let's get undressed
29:45cool
29:46do you mind that i think
29:47yeah
29:48okay great
29:49i've never been
29:50one-on-one with a woman in a bedroom
29:52or anything like that
29:53can you pull this off
29:54yes again
29:56yeah
29:56i don't know how to initiate the physical touch myself
30:01there we go
30:03and i want that sexual romantic intimate connection
30:07start pulling these off
30:08mm-hmm
30:09but i don't know how to get to that stage
30:16how's that
30:17yay
30:17yeah
30:17good
30:19first thing i'm gonna have you do
30:20mm-hmm
30:20you're looking at me and that's great
30:23i'm gonna have you look at my pussy
30:24mm-hmm
30:25notice any feelings that are coming out for you
30:28tall
30:28mm-hmm
30:29mm-hmm
30:30i would like you to with the backs of your fingernails
30:34run your hands up my thighs very slowly
30:36mm-hmm
30:37go super slow
30:40mm-hmm
30:41mm-hmm
30:42mm-hmm
30:44see if you can see my vaginal opening
30:46mm-hmm
30:48can you see it
30:48yep
30:49with this finger
30:50so don't go in but just put the finger like right on the bottom of the hole
30:54mm-hmm
30:55yep
30:57that's nice
30:59mm
31:00that's nice
31:08all right i'm gonna come cuddle you
31:10i was nervous about giving pleasure but yeah i feel like a lot of that and those nerves have dissipated
31:17now
31:17hmm
31:22hiccups
31:24do you know what
31:25you fingering me and i got the hiccups
31:28hmm
31:29guess i gotta get back up
31:30mm-hmm
31:32oh i'm bothered
31:33it was the first time i had my fingers inside my woman
31:36i feel like a whole new person
31:37you do
31:38yeah
31:42i don't think i've felt happier being on the island right now than right now
31:45i feel it's big i feel it's big i feel it's a massive step forward for me
31:50bye
31:51see you live
31:51bye
31:51that's a big barrier that i've had in my way um and i feel like i'm a big step closer
31:57to losing my majority
32:05thank you
32:06the sun is shining on virgin island
32:09i hope you know which way we're going
32:10no
32:11we're going down here
32:12and for the last afternoon of the nudity phase clothing is optional
32:16we asked the group to take nude photos in pairs
32:19who's going first
32:20i'll take your picture
32:21go on all right
32:22it's all about the good shots jason
32:23you do you
32:24this is all about having fun
32:27oh my god
32:29here we go
32:30the goal is to help them feel relaxed around their bodies and feel comfortable with nudity
32:36for some of the group
32:37there we go
32:38improved body confidence is on full display
32:40that's it yeah
32:41ready
32:42i've never felt this sexy in my life
32:46please say you didn't laugh until after
32:49that just felt empowering and i was like massive sleigh to me
32:55smile
32:57i thought there was some power there some sort of strength and i think maybe i hadn't seen myself in
33:01that light before
33:02good
33:04i'm getting sexy vibes
33:06not bad
33:07okay
33:08take the bar
33:09woo
33:09i don't mind being nude in like the ocean
33:12and i wanted to prove to myself i could at least do it
33:15three
33:16two
33:17one
33:17over
33:19but for others bearing all for the camera is still a step too far
33:23i tried this and i guess
33:25oh
33:27shit
33:28not that
33:30that's how you do it
33:31i didn't feel like getting naked today and uh
33:34i'm glad that callum told me he wasn't going to uh get his willy out because after the morning workshop
33:40i think we've seen enough of those for one day
33:44after a tough time in yesterday's mirror workshop
33:47that's cute
33:48katie's showing tentative signs of progress
33:51i wish i could show you it looks really good i know i'd love to be able to see
33:54my boobs look so good
33:55it's just been a bit scary but these little steps are making me like open up
34:02oh
34:03oh
34:04what's that
34:04like katie
34:06this is going to be very underwhelming i'm telling you now
34:07because like i'm still in clothes so
34:10i am getting undressed here
34:11the nudity phase has exposed some of ed's body insecurities
34:19i'm just glad this phase is nearly over anything to use in this one
34:22my scars and my disability
34:25there's certain things
34:27especially intimacy
34:28where i do feel like it's going to negatively impact it
34:34the scars are embarrassing
34:36it makes even like just cuddling with someone a little bit more awkward
34:39it feels like i'm kind of stalled in life
34:44i feel a bit like a kid to be honest
34:45having built up a relationship with ed at the retreat
34:48hello
34:50how are you
34:51i'm better than this morning
34:52that's good
34:54expert kat feels she can relate to his body issues
34:56from her own personal experience
34:59i noticed that ed had scars and that's something he was really insecure about coming in
35:04and i also do
35:05and so it felt really powerful to like share that space
35:08i think something that's really important for you to practice
35:11is like really coming to people as equals
35:16okay
35:16and i saw your scars
35:17it was confronting for me because it's a part of myself that i still can feel so much shame around
35:24i get that
35:24but when i see them on you i don't have any judgment like i only feel so much like love
35:30and compassion and it creates more of a sense of care
35:33and it just felt really comforting to like not feel alone with it if that makes sense
35:40you feel comfortable taking off your shirt
35:43yeah
35:51and i'm gonna take my bra off too
35:57okay
35:58how are you feeling now
35:59how are you feeling now
36:00a little bit nervous
36:01yeah just start by looking and breathing
36:05okay
36:05i'm gonna say okay if i touch you
36:08will you touch me also
36:14can you sit down
36:18will you touch my scars while i touch yours
36:22yes
36:22does that feel okay
36:23yeah
36:24Yeah, okay.
36:25I have one on my chest as well.
36:27The worst one is the one down on my arm, that one.
36:31That's what made me stop.
36:37I'm always worried about people touching mine
36:39and not knowing how it feels to them.
36:42So with you, I feel like I can be vulnerable as well.
36:49And like I'm not alone.
36:58I'm worried about to touch your feet.
37:07Thank you, Kevin.
37:10Knowing that we've both got scars,
37:11and possibly for like similar reasons,
37:13I didn't feel any like body issues at all.
37:18I completely forgot that I have any,
37:21and I felt really good about myself.
37:31Come on, Jason.
37:32Woo-hoo!
37:35This morning, I was like, I looked in the mirror,
37:37I went, Katie, your eyebrows look really good today.
37:38That's brilliant.
37:39And also I feel like after yesterday's exercise,
37:41that's what you need.
37:42And obviously it's all positive things,
37:44so I'm like, tucked on.
37:46It's all mental.
37:46While Katie makes tentative progress on her body image...
37:51Jason, your hair looks lovely.
37:56Yay!
37:58..the experts want her to take the plunge
38:01and move on from her past.
38:05I'm going to be seeing Katie today,
38:07and the things that people have said to her
38:09about her body and her looks
38:11are truly destroying of a person's sense of dignity.
38:16I would love to bring Katie to the mirror
38:19if she feels ready,
38:20and to start to find something that brings her joy
38:23would be, I think, a big step.
38:28Ayesha plans to revisit the mirror exercise one last time.
38:36Social media is really hard for bullying.
38:38People will just constantly pick you apart
38:41and make you feel more insecure.
38:44I've had a lot of things posted on me.
38:47I was scrolling through once
38:49and someone had asked
38:51who's the ugliest girl in school,
38:53and this person had written my full name.
38:56That was really difficult.
39:02Hello?
39:03Hello!
39:05I'm just feeling which piece of clothing
39:08wants to come off.
39:10Um, let's do my top.
39:12OK, great.
39:14I really don't like this, I feel like...
39:17I've got so much blood,
39:19like, skin and stuff,
39:20and so much hatred for myself.
39:22Mmm.
39:24See if you can remember
39:25being with your body
39:27and not hating it.
39:36That must have been so nice.
39:39Young Katie did not care
39:40about what others thought
39:41or what others said.
39:43Yeah.
39:43And she didn't hate herself.
39:44Yeah.
39:45Sometimes, Katie,
39:47what happens is
39:48when we live with people
39:49who torment us,
39:51we can actually
39:52carry their voice in our head
39:54and we think it's ours.
39:58Mm-hmm.
39:59But it's not ours.
40:03Noticing if you feel like
40:04you want to continue getting undressed
40:06or if you feel good as you are.
40:09Um, I could take a short swap.
40:10OK.
40:16This is so weird.
40:17OK.
40:19What's happening now?
40:21I'm sick of just
40:22hating every part
40:24and just looking
40:24at the bad parts of myself.
40:28How do you want your body
40:29to feel?
40:30I wish that I would have
40:32let go of nasty things
40:34created with me
40:35on social media.
40:36Yeah.
40:37I've screenshotted it
40:38and I've still got the pictures
40:39on my phone
40:40from many, many years ago.
40:41Wow.
40:43Because I like to look back
40:44at them
40:44and make myself feel bad again.
40:47What would letting it go
40:49have looked like
40:49not even thinking about it
40:51ever again?
40:52Because they don't deserve it.
40:53Yeah.
40:53And I don't deserve it.
40:54Yeah.
40:55After years of criticism
40:57shaping how Katie
40:58sees herself
40:58Would you like to do it
40:59dressed or undressed?
41:01Dressed.
41:02OK, great.
41:03Now Aisha
41:04challenges her
41:05to push back.
41:06My hair
41:09it's so dead
41:11but it grows
41:12really quickly.
41:13My stomach
41:14I hate how big it is
41:16but it fuels me
41:18every single day.
41:19You're rocking
41:20right now Katie.
41:21My boobs
41:23are very
41:25droopy
41:25but I feel like
41:27they suit my body.
41:29Yeah.
41:30I want to be a mum
41:31so bad.
41:33So yeah,
41:34milk.
41:34Yeah.
41:35Comfort for my babies.
41:37Wow, beautiful.
41:41Thank you so much.
41:42See you later Katie.
41:43See you later.
41:44I really loved
41:45how relaxed
41:46and comfortable I felt.
41:47This new growth
41:48and self-exploration
41:50that I've found
41:50has just changed
41:52my entire life.
41:52I would love
41:54to be able
41:54to just carry that on
41:56so I'm really happy.
42:03As the sun sets
42:04on the nudity phase
42:06Everybody come on over!
42:09The experts
42:10have gathered
42:10to give the group
42:11one final opportunity
42:12to shed their inhibitions.
42:14You just finished
42:16the nudity phase
42:18and we are so proud of you.
42:21So many of you
42:21got naked
42:22and felt more
42:24comfortable relationship
42:26with your body
42:26and
42:27That's like a culmination
42:29and celebration
42:29of this phase.
42:31We all take
42:32a little group
42:33swim together.
42:34You can undress
42:35to your level of comfort.
42:36I will be going full naked.
42:38Who's brave enough?
42:42You're taking your shoes off!
43:06You're taking your shoes off!
43:09Bring it in.
43:10The nudity phase
43:11is awesome.
43:13I have absolutely
43:15no idea
43:15why I did that
43:16but hey
43:17I'm absolutely
43:18glad that I did.
43:19It's definitely
43:20one of the biggest
43:20things I've ever done.
43:22I feel like
43:22I've ended the phase
43:23on a high.
43:25I've learnt how to be
43:26a little bit nicer
43:26to myself.
43:28Every single person
43:28is different
43:30and every single
43:31body is different.
43:32It's crazy to think about
43:33but right here
43:34right now
43:35yeah
43:35I feel like
43:36I could do anything.
43:40Next time
43:41Hit my hand
43:42with the dick.
43:44Things get hands on.
43:46You can put
43:47your finger inside.
43:48I'm just kidding.
43:50As a special guest
43:51arrives for the
43:52playtime phase.
43:54Ooh.
43:55And a fantasy
43:56Get on your knees.
43:57becomes reality.
43:59Good boy.
44:05Get on your knees.
Comments