- 5 hours ago
She's Not Homeless, She's Healer Goddess
Category
🎥
Short filmTranscript
00:00:01Healer goddess, hear my plea.
00:00:04Please save my child.
00:00:22Rod of a sepulis.
00:00:42Rejuvenate.
00:00:50Praise! She is the healer goddess!
00:00:54No, please. Don't call me that.
00:00:57I'm just glad I could help.
00:01:03Here you go, miss.
00:01:08Why be weighed down by a throne when I can live amongst the common people and help those the most
00:01:12in need?
00:01:25You must be rushing off to go find your jewels, because only a sackless coward would hit a puppy and
00:01:30run!
00:01:33Aw, it's okay, little guy. I'll fix you right up.
00:01:42Right.
00:01:43Right.
00:01:44Rewrites the wrong.
00:01:47Rejuvenate.
00:01:52See? Good as the day you can kicking out of your mother's womb.
00:01:58Come on, Cleo. Let's go!
00:02:11Hey, hey, hey, hey!
00:02:14Hey, hey, hey!
00:02:15Please. My brother's been in a coma the last two years.
00:02:20We have no idea what the illness is.
00:02:22We have no idea what the illness is.
00:02:22If anyone can help cure him, we will pay you handsomely.
00:02:25The Elizander Armstrong!
00:02:26His military family basically owns the entire global stock market!
00:02:31He's so hot!
00:02:32Does he come with the money?
00:02:34Yes.
00:02:35He'll even marry you if you can cure him.
00:02:37Money.
00:02:37Fame.
00:02:38Power.
00:02:38Power.
00:02:39It's all yours.
00:02:45Are we still moving forward, Miss Trixie?
00:02:47Yes.
00:02:48Give the presidential contract to Marissa.
00:02:50Oh, I have another call coming in.
00:02:54Grandma!
00:02:55I'm dying!
00:02:57Save me, Trixie!
00:02:59Grandma?
00:03:01Grandma.
00:03:02When are you getting married?
00:03:03I'm already a hundred years old.
00:03:06I'm gonna keep you healthy forever, Grandma.
00:03:07And Butch is still on deployment, so that's why I haven't been married yet.
00:03:14Oh, but why marry a vegetable when I can bang a younger stud like you?
00:03:21We're talking about my brother's life.
00:03:23I don't have time for jokes.
00:03:25No!
00:03:35Please go feed your dog, Miss. Don't let it starve like you.
00:03:38Oh, kind stranger. Let me repay you by granting you a wish.
00:03:42Grant me a wish? That you can barely feed yourself.
00:03:45The downfall of humanity. It all starts with the loss of faith.
00:03:49What?
00:03:50Oh, jeez, this is giving me a migraine.
00:03:54Are you telling me to pray to God because we've been doing that?
00:03:57I'm telling you to have some faith in me.
00:04:00Okay, uh, I wish for you to cure my brother's illness.
00:04:05Can you do that?
00:04:05I can topple mountains and make a king out of a frog if I wanted to.
00:04:10Cleo, stay right here for a second.
00:04:12Don't go too far, Cleo.
00:04:17Hold still.
00:04:25My migraine's gone.
00:04:26Okay, then let's go.
00:04:28If you can cure my brother, he'll even marry you.
00:04:30Come on. Come on.
00:04:32Oh!
00:04:46How is he?
00:04:47What is the diagnosis?
00:04:49Remember, you will not marry him unless you cure him.
00:04:51I'm sorry. I don't know what this is.
00:04:54Aren't you the queen of medicine?
00:04:55You're supposed to be one of the best.
00:04:57Don't worry, General.
00:04:58I'm the angel herbalist and I have mastered all healing methods of the East.
00:05:03I can detect what condition your son has with just one needle.
00:05:24I have no clue what this is.
00:05:28Oh, it looks like the angel herbalist doesn't live up to her name after all.
00:05:34That's why we saved the best for last.
00:05:36Me, the witch doctor.
00:05:38I'll save your son, Lysander.
00:05:50He's not budging. There's no movement.
00:05:52Truly, I have saved thousands of patients all over the world, but I don't know what this is.
00:05:59Lord, I've scoured the earth for the best doctors. They've tried all these methods and they've all failed!
00:06:05If we can't save him, there's only one person who can.
00:06:11Who?
00:06:14The goddess of healing.
00:06:18Wait a second. You're not talking about the legendary goddess healing.
00:06:22That's correct. Her right rewrites the rond and her left leaves the bereft. That's her motto.
00:06:29It's what makes her a sage amongst mortals. We are nothing compared to her.
00:06:34She is eccentric and elusive. No one has ever seen her before.
00:06:40If this legendary healer is the only one that can truly save my son, I don't care if I go
00:06:45bankrupt.
00:06:46I will find her. James, come put out a bounty to the entire world.
00:06:53Whoever finds the goddess healer will get the five million dollars.
00:06:57There's no need.
00:07:12I'll save your son.
00:07:15Who the hell is she?
00:07:16Dad, she says she can cure Lysander.
00:07:18She's gonna save your brother? Don't be ridiculous.
00:07:22How can this shit-stained hobo cure your brother?
00:07:25Exactly.
00:07:26God, the unemployed are getting crazier and crazier.
00:07:29She's trying to scam her way into marrying the rich.
00:07:33Ew! She even brought a filthy dog with her.
00:07:36I bet it has fleas.
00:07:38That flea-infested, dirty thing is your companion.
00:07:41Don't try to steal Lysander Armstrong from us.
00:07:49Don't touch him.
00:07:52They say don't judge a book by its cover.
00:07:54But I can see from all your faces that you've failed.
00:07:58So step aside.
00:07:59I'll take it from here.
00:08:01Could you hold this?
00:08:03Ho, ho, ho, ho.
00:08:04You're not gonna touch my son.
00:08:06I'm the richest tycoon in this country and a former general.
00:08:09I know a gold-digging whore when I see one.
00:08:12I bet she's only here because giving blowjobs on the street corners wasn't paying enough cash.
00:08:18Who knows what an unskilled, poor girl like her would do for some.
00:08:22A skinny-ass beggar trying to take advantage of Lysander Armstrong when he's unconscious?
00:08:29Ew!
00:08:30Disgusting.
00:08:31Go back to being a prostitute.
00:08:33Security!
00:08:34Get this STD-infested peasant out of here now.
00:08:37Let's go.
00:08:38If you throw me out, you're tossing away your son's last chance at life.
00:08:45Sir, we are at our wit's end trying to find a cure for Master Lysander into no avail.
00:08:50Maybe we should give her a try?
00:08:53You can always deal with her later if she turns out to be a fraud.
00:08:56Alright, I'll give you a shot.
00:08:59But I warn you, if you fail, I'll have your and your dog's head mounted on my wall.
00:09:05Is that any way to ask for help?
00:09:08You'd be blessed to have me.
00:09:10And I'm only here to repay your younger son's kindness.
00:09:13But since I'm not welcome here, I'll leave.
00:09:18Devon, come find me when you have a different wish.
00:09:21No, Miss Trixie, my brother is a hero to me.
00:09:24I can't lose him.
00:09:26Well, if he's a hero to you, then that means he must be a good person.
00:09:32My brother's a war hero who single-handedly saved this country from a terrorist attack.
00:09:36Also, he's great with puppies. He'd make a great husband.
00:09:42Who says I want to marry him?
00:09:44As if the number one hottest 30 under 30 would even dream of marrying a penniless bum like you.
00:09:50Only a lunatic would be crazy enough to marry her.
00:09:53I mean, look at her. Even if she cleaned herself up.
00:09:56You couldn't find an ounce of femininity on her.
00:10:00Only those cut from the lowest ranks are bigger over such trivial matters.
00:10:04Continue wasting your time.
00:10:06But I'm saving this patient.
00:10:07I'm saving this patientìž‘
00:10:15consuming content. You
00:10:18okay? What?
00:10:20What's
00:10:21happening? What are
00:10:23we doing?
00:10:34the hell are you doing i knew she was a perv she's definitely trying to steal lysander from us
00:10:41do you all not know that sweat can tell you everything that's medically wrong with the
00:10:44patient are you insane security smash her face in her licking my son he's born with congenital
00:10:52heart disease has a peanut allergy and the condition he has is called endogenic cryomorphy
00:10:57yeah right i mean no way you got all that just from licking him oh okay i've studied every disease
00:11:04known to man right i even have the badge of universal medicine right here and i've never
00:11:09heard of endo cryo what what this
00:11:23is worth nothing when i have the real thing right here
00:11:25what what so so you think that this this crummy walking stick of yours is is what the rod of
00:11:33a
00:11:33sepulius why don't you go back to the homeless asylum where you came from if you're going to be this
00:11:38delusional i agree i mean even if she does solve this medical mystery what is the point as of doctors
00:11:44who have studied for years we are all certified but lysander does have congenital heart disease
00:11:52she's right about everything
00:11:56yeah but if she just throws out a bunch of fake diagnosis one of them is bound to be right
00:12:00and again there is no such thing as endocryo what what endogenic cryomorphy
00:12:05oh and of course none of you have heard of it because i just discovered it
00:12:10this condition only affects those with both chd and a peanut allergy the chances are a billion to
00:12:16one a hundred times rarer than winning the lottery but lucky for you all you've hit the jackpot by
00:12:22finding me what a bunch of baloney i mean you wouldn't be homeless if you were actually any good
00:12:30precisely you are just a scamming prostitute you don't compare to me us who actually studied
00:12:37real medicine i bet you were too poor to go to real medical school oh so she went to the
00:12:44super circus instead and now she's here putting on this clown show coming up with fake diseases
00:12:50which mean nothing if you can't wake him up is that supposed to be a challenge
00:12:58if you three incompetent doormats want to show me up i think you all should grow parts of your brain
00:13:04back which by the way that condition is called an encephaly what is that supposed to mean it means
00:13:11you're being schooled by me and i'm about to walk all over your medical licensees
00:13:16then let's have a bet if you can't heal him break your hands and then you can't pretend to have
00:13:27healing hands anymore these hands have saved more lives than all three of you combined
00:13:34you're that desperate to get rid of your competition huh miss trixie don't risk your hands
00:13:39for them there's too many lives at stake
00:13:45don't worry i got this
00:13:49it's a deal i'll save lysander armstrong no one is dying on my watch
00:14:01lysander armstrong has been in a vegetative state for two years
00:14:08are you stopping me because you're scared i'd actually succeed homeless or not
00:14:13if you save my son i'll give you everything
00:14:24i'll even have lysander my heir marry you i'm not doing this for the money or for a wealthy
00:14:30husband i just believe in helping good people and doing the right thing prepare a jacuzzi set
00:14:36at exactly 113 degrees fahrenheit wait wait wait what what for don't listen to her
00:14:42she probably stinks so bad that she just wants a bath to wash the homeless stench off of her
00:14:47firstly this is called greatness secondly even if you drown yourself in plastic surgery
00:14:54you couldn't get rid of your own ugly moral character
00:14:58what did you just call me
00:15:02there's a man's life at stake here and you're standing in my way
00:15:07don't don the mantle of doctor when you're only capable of harm
00:15:11now stop getting in my way or i promise you
00:15:14you will be bubbling at the mouth very soon oh yeah
00:15:17hey you want to see real pain where's the dog well put down the dog
00:15:44you don't deserve to call yourself a doctor
00:15:51she's been poisoned
00:15:53it was her do you see any poison on me medicine in the right hands can save lives
00:15:59but in the wrong hands it becomes nothing but poison
00:16:03this isn't good enough to take down the queen of medicine
00:16:07do you have one of your antidotes on you of course
00:16:10i've saved entire civilizations with my antidotes
00:16:13if i want to save someone even the grim reaper can't stop me
00:16:33why is she spitting blood this wasn't supposed to happen
00:16:36i thought you said even the grim reaper can't get in your way angel herbalist
00:16:40this is what i call malpractice
00:16:45this isn't fatal she'll live but she deserves a little punishment
00:16:49well where's the jacuzzi i asked for jacuzzi is ready right this way
00:16:53wait wait wait wait wait wait what the hell is going on
00:16:57you say you want your son to live on to give you tons of grandchildren don't you
00:17:00then stop getting in my way every second counts let's go for a dip shall we
00:17:11general armstrong your family is the richest and most powerful in the nation
00:17:17are you really gonna let this hobo
00:17:19slut touch your son hold on you two are going in there
00:17:23alone if you don't want these drooling vultures to see your son naked then sure invite everyone in
00:17:30all right but i warn you no funny business
00:17:44you
00:17:49you
00:17:51you
00:17:51you
00:17:56you
00:17:57you
00:18:58We have to be listening to that. We have to have faith.
00:19:01Where did you actually find this little life?
00:19:06On the streets.
00:19:08Are you shitting me?
00:19:10You found this bum on the streets? Are you nuts?
00:19:13You don't know her. You don't know her background.
00:19:15She could be a psychotic murderer.
00:19:17That is it, General. You have to go in and stop this now.
00:19:20You're right. That's it. I'm shutting down this clown show right now.
00:19:23James, let's go.
00:19:24Yes, sir.
00:19:28Oh, my God.
00:19:35I told you all to stay out.
00:19:42This is a critical moment for you.
00:19:44We can't be interrupted.
00:19:46Otherwise, we'd both die.
00:19:51I'm not going to let this homeless hoochie mama trap my son.
00:19:57I'm going to save him myself.
00:19:59No.
00:20:04You see that, General?
00:20:05This isn't just a gull-dicking con woman.
00:20:07This is a witchcraft.
00:20:10I know what this is.
00:20:12This is the dark witch.
00:20:14I've heard of her.
00:20:15She uses her dark magic to steal the hearts of young, handsome men,
00:20:20and then she eats them alive.
00:20:21I'm going to kill that bitch before she takes my son.
00:20:24James, get the SWAT team.
00:20:27Yes, sir.
00:20:31You regain consciousness.
00:20:43Help me.
00:20:44I just want to...
00:20:49Something's wrong.
00:20:53You were drunk with an aphrodisiac.
00:20:56Lysander Armstrong and his fortune will soon be mine.
00:21:00That's one more thing I'm saving you from.
00:21:10Sir?
00:21:11The SWAT team is here.
00:21:13Captain Morales.
00:21:15My son is trapped behind there with a devious, man-eating witch.
00:21:21I need you to do whatever you can to tear down that door.
00:21:24Rest assured, General Armstrong.
00:21:26We'll break down that door and bury that bitch alive.
00:21:33Right.
00:21:34He writes the wrong.
00:21:39Human.
00:21:43Who the fuck are you?
00:21:44And why the hell are we naked?
00:21:48Good.
00:21:49You're awake.
00:21:50I'm saving you.
00:21:51Saving me?
00:21:52By bathing with me?
00:21:54Who are you?
00:21:55You're a fucking spy?
00:21:57Talk!
00:21:58I swear to God, I'm gonna have you arrested for this.
00:22:02You're the one who's trying to kiss me in your stippor.
00:22:06I will never.
00:22:08Oh, really?
00:22:22Look who's guilty now.
00:22:26Look, I don't know what the fuck this is, all right?
00:22:28But it is a biological fact.
00:22:30A man is attracted to a naked woman and her breasts.
00:22:35Science, okay?
00:22:36It just means that my body is physically...
00:22:38Oh, shut up.
00:22:38...is physically...
00:22:41You're distracted me with your friend.
00:22:44And I'm a professional.
00:22:45I hear Lysander's voice.
00:22:47Captain, do something now.
00:22:49Ready!
00:22:55We're almost there.
00:22:57Aim!
00:22:59Get him, boy.
00:23:01Get him!
00:23:03Fire!
00:23:06Fire!
00:23:22Those demon smells.
00:23:24How is this possible?
00:23:26It's not even a scratch.
00:23:27I told you this is dark magic.
00:23:30Of course, your earthly bullets won't do a thing.
00:23:32No.
00:23:32I believe Miss Trixie is a good person.
00:23:35She's not the dark witch.
00:23:37Young Master Armstrong, you are too easily fooled.
00:23:41This homeless psycho doesn't even have the skills to make a living.
00:23:45How is she going to save someone else's life?
00:23:47That's right.
00:23:47The Queen, Angel, and I are already the top female doctors in the world.
00:23:52If we can't save him, no one can.
00:23:54Except for the Goddess Healer.
00:23:56Think about it.
00:23:57We heard Lysander's voice.
00:23:59He's been in a coma for two years.
00:24:00Miss Trixie must have woken him up.
00:24:02You're right.
00:24:03This homeless girl is maybe the Goddess.
00:24:08Maybe this homeless girl is really the Goddess.
00:24:11No!
00:24:12No!
00:24:13Absolutely not.
00:24:14There is no way this hobo girl is better than us.
00:24:17How could you know for sure?
00:24:19Right now, what we need to do is not interrupt Miss Trixie.
00:24:22You're wrong, sir!
00:24:23This homeless snake is using the forbidden techniques on Master Lysander.
00:24:28It's called borderline revival.
00:24:30She uses torturous pain to wake the patient.
00:24:33But only temporarily.
00:24:35It's a trick to pull the wool over your eyes and ears.
00:24:39That means my son is in tremendous pain.
00:24:43I'm going to ask you two to do whatever you can to kill that antler-rod-bearing witch.
00:24:48My son doesn't deserve this.
00:24:50He is dying right now, naked in a jacuzzi with a smelly vagrant.
00:24:55Then it looks like it's up to me.
00:24:57The witch doctor.
00:24:58Only I know the right techniques to take her down.
00:25:03My son's life is in your hands.
00:25:05You heal him, I will give you whatever your heart desires.
00:25:10I don't know who you are, but there is no way I am letting you rip my golden bachelor away
00:25:15from me.
00:25:18This isn't the finishing touch.
00:25:21I must now give you the kiss of life.
00:25:24So we can both survive.
00:25:44It's poison gas.
00:25:46Poison gas will smoke them out and end her torture over Master Lysander.
00:25:51Poison gas?
00:25:52My son is in there.
00:25:54You're jeopardizing his life as well.
00:25:56No, don't worry, General.
00:25:58Gold diggers like her only care about themselves.
00:26:01Soon, she'll come out crying to Mommy.
00:26:04Then we can reverse the poison on your son.
00:26:06And then he can marry one of us.
00:26:09They really won't stop until they get both of us killed.
00:26:14I knew they promised you that I'd save you.
00:26:17It's now or never.
00:26:19Never.
00:26:31What the hell are they doing in there?
00:26:33It's been over ten minutes.
00:26:35Wait a second.
00:26:36You don't think that they're...
00:26:38You!
00:26:39You suffocated my brother and Miss Trixie in there!
00:26:41Don't point your fingers at me!
00:26:43If your brother's dead, it's because of that homeless gold digger.
00:26:47Oh my god.
00:26:47Yeah, she's the one who sealed the door shut.
00:26:50I mean, she probably locked themselves in there on accident.
00:26:54Miss Trixie wouldn't have to do that if you weren't trying to sabotage her from saving my brother.
00:26:58This is taking way too long.
00:27:01Captain Morales, it's time to get out the big guns.
00:27:05These bazookas can flatten even a bomb shelter.
00:27:09Bazooka.
00:27:09She won't be able to hide even if she's the devil himself.
00:27:12Crap.
00:27:13Oh my god.
00:27:13Get back something.
00:27:15Ready.
00:27:17Aim!
00:27:18Oh shit.
00:27:23Quit your whining and stand down.
00:27:37The parasite's been extracted.
00:27:39Shoot her dead now.
00:27:40Do I need to fix your hearing too?
00:27:42I said stand down.
00:27:46Don't listen to her.
00:27:47She's a fraud.
00:27:48A termite to the field of medicine.
00:27:50I just saved this man that otherwise would have died in your care.
00:27:54If I'm a termite, then you're worse than a disease spreading tick.
00:27:58Wait a second.
00:28:00Are you saying you cured my son?
00:28:02He'll wake in just a moment.
00:28:03You can see for yourself.
00:28:05Well, now you're just asking to be exposed.
00:28:08That is it.
00:28:09No more stalling, General.
00:28:11If you won't punish her, I will.
00:28:16Don't hurt her.
00:28:22He's a cure.
00:28:29His pulse is regular.
00:28:30In fact, it's never been better.
00:28:35There's no sign of illness, infection, or disease.
00:28:46Miss Trixie did it, Dad.
00:28:48Lysander's warm again.
00:28:49He's not cold and pale like before.
00:28:52And his heart is strong.
00:28:53Come, feel it.
00:28:56I saved my son.
00:28:59Next time, don't go seeking medical advice from those with ill will.
00:29:03Your son would have otherwise died by their greedy and unskilled hands.
00:29:07I've learned my lesson.
00:29:08I will not let these two nutjobs ever practice their voodoo voodoo magic again.
00:29:13Wait, wait.
00:29:14No, no.
00:29:15There is only one person in the world who is more skilled in the field of medicine than the queen,
00:29:20Angel, and I.
00:29:22It is the goddess healer.
00:29:28Could you really be the goddess of healing?
00:29:31But rumor has it that the goddess of healing is well over 100 years old, and you don't look a
00:29:37day after 20.
00:29:39It doesn't matter who I am.
00:29:40What matters is that the patient is healthy again.
00:29:43Devon, I've repaid your kindness by fulfilling your wish of saving your brother.
00:29:47Take care.
00:29:48No, wait.
00:29:50Miss Trixie, we still haven't fulfilled our promise to you yet.
00:29:52He's right.
00:29:54We are men of our words, and as I promised you, my heir, Lysander, would take you as a wife
00:29:59if you cured him, and you did just that.
00:30:01Of course, you're welcome to marry me instead.
00:30:05I really appreciate it, but I'm sorry.
00:30:09I...
00:30:10I'm already engaged.
00:30:14Already engaged?
00:30:15I am.
00:30:16I've been patiently awaiting his return from deployment for the last three years.
00:30:20And he's coming back today.
00:30:22But don't be disappointed.
00:30:24Really, I'm no one special.
00:30:26I just got lucky with your brother.
00:30:29Some guru taught me that spa water can cure all kinds of ailments.
00:30:32But you're still Lysander's savior.
00:30:34Please, let me give you what I promised.
00:30:36Take the gold.
00:30:37No, really.
00:30:39I don't need anything.
00:30:41I just believe in doing good in the world.
00:30:47Trixie, it's your fiancé.
00:30:49He's back.
00:30:50And he says he's breaking up with you.
00:30:54I must go.
00:31:01Hobo close.
00:31:03Halo glow.
00:31:04I bet the goddess healer is just like Miss Trixie.
00:31:07It was just dumb luck.
00:31:09She's even dumber for not accepting his marriage proposal.
00:31:12She could have been the richest woman in the world.
00:31:15Marrying the hottest, most powerful bachelor around.
00:31:21I'm going to marry that homeless woman.
00:31:27Oh, my God.
00:31:29I mean, I don't know about that homeless bimbo, but this is godly.
00:31:34No, no, no, no, Lysander.
00:31:37Lysander, I don't know what's supposed to be mine.
00:31:41I'd so much rather share him with you than let that penniless, ugly bitch have him.
00:31:45You two nut jobs are a disgrace to your profession.
00:31:48Take these two weirdos out of here and revoke their licenses.
00:31:52Wait, no.
00:31:53We're not for us.
00:31:54No, she's just better than us.
00:31:57Oh, my God.
00:32:01We were truly blessed to have Miss Trixie here, huh?
00:32:04She's no average Jane.
00:32:05No, she isn't.
00:32:06She said it was just dumb luck.
00:32:08But if she truly had these special skills,
00:32:11why did she wear that shit-stained dress and had an impeccable-looking doll?
00:32:15But think about the impenetrable walls.
00:32:16No normal person could have done that.
00:32:19Goddess or not, homeless or not, I don't care.
00:32:22I have never met a woman like that.
00:32:24I have to find her.
00:32:24I have to make her my life.
00:32:26She won my heart over, too.
00:32:28But if my bestest big bro wants her,
00:32:30I'll help you find her.
00:32:31All right, listen.
00:32:33I need help finding three wedding gifts.
00:32:40I'm dumping Trixie.
00:32:42So I want you, your granddaughters,
00:32:44filthy things out of my house now.
00:32:48Trixie paid for this house.
00:32:50She waited for you for three years.
00:32:54She was dumb enough to put my name on the lease.
00:32:56And I'm upgrading for a better girlfriend now.
00:32:58One wants to see.
00:32:58Fuck you money.
00:33:00So get lost.
00:33:02Who gave you permission to bark like a rabbit hyena in my house?
00:33:11Grandma.
00:33:13Beatrice, Trixie, Amore.
00:33:16I've been dying to throw this in your face.
00:33:18I'm dumping you for your best friend, Marissa.
00:33:22In fact, the wedding's tomorrow.
00:33:25So sign over the house now.
00:33:32You gave me this ring and asked me to wait.
00:33:35And I did.
00:33:37For three years while you were deployed.
00:33:39Yet you cheat on me with my best friend.
00:33:42And now you're trying to swindle my home?
00:33:45Do you have no shame?
00:33:47We were together for three years.
00:33:48And it was a complete waste of my life
00:33:51when I could have been with a loaded girl like Marissa.
00:33:58That's how much she would owe me
00:34:00if I was in the rent-a-boyfriend business.
00:34:04I see you're fulfilling your highest aspirations
00:34:06of being a low-grade male prostitute.
00:34:12Oh, yeah?
00:34:14Well, Marissa
00:34:16is so much better than you.
00:34:17Now, she grew up even poorer than you.
00:34:21And now, she's the CEO
00:34:23of an entire corporation.
00:34:28And you?
00:34:30You're still nothing.
00:34:32So you think she's an upgrade?
00:34:34Of course she's an upgrade.
00:34:36Look what she got me for my engagement.
00:34:40Oops.
00:34:42Yeah.
00:34:42That's maybe worth one millionth
00:34:45the presidential contract I gave her.
00:34:52You gave her the presidential contract?
00:34:54I certainly did.
00:34:56In fact, Marissa,
00:34:58you and your dimwit brother
00:35:00only have everything you have
00:35:02all thanks to me.
00:35:08Oh, I think she's losing it, bro.
00:35:10That breakup must have hit her hard.
00:35:13You two are the ungrateful, cheating scum here.
00:35:16My granddaughter supported you
00:35:19and your entire family
00:35:20for three years while you were gone.
00:35:23How dare you insult her?
00:35:26It's okay, Grandma.
00:35:27Let's not stoop to that level.
00:35:30Poor Edna.
00:35:30She still doesn't know what you're doing
00:35:32out there on the streets, huh?
00:35:34What is he talking about, Jersey?
00:35:36Show her, Bob.
00:35:42This is how embarrassingly useless
00:35:44your granddaughter is.
00:35:45She didn't purchase this house on her own.
00:35:47She was begging on the street for money.
00:35:51I can't be caught with a piss-poor nobody like you.
00:35:54Even if you got no game,
00:35:56I got street credit I got out of keep.
00:35:58You dig?
00:35:58The word you're looking for is dignity.
00:36:01And you're one to speak, cheater.
00:36:05Is this true, Trixie?
00:36:10I've been broadening my horizons, Grandma.
00:36:12I want to see how regular, everyday people live
00:36:15so that I can help them.
00:36:17Of course, those without substance underneath
00:36:20would never understand that.
00:36:22What is that supposed to mean?
00:36:23It means the new girlfriend you think is an upgrade
00:36:26is actually a downgrade.
00:36:32Enough bullshitting already.
00:36:33Just sign the damn papers
00:36:34and we can each get on with our lives.
00:36:48At your wedding, I will.
00:36:51What?
00:36:52If you won't do good by me of breaking things off
00:36:55before two-timing me with my best friend,
00:36:57why should I do good by you?
00:36:59I'll give you my John Hancock at your wedding
00:37:02as a charity to you.
00:37:05Fucking bitch!
00:37:06You better keep your word.
00:37:07Oh, that's rich.
00:37:09After tomorrow, you will never feel so rich ever again.
00:37:13Do remember that.
00:37:20Trixie, Marissa's a millionaire now.
00:37:24They'll destroy you if you show
00:37:25even so much as a hair at their wedding.
00:37:28Grandma, I have to confess something to you.
00:37:31I've secretly amassed a fortune worth trillions.
00:37:34Trillions?
00:37:37That would make you the richest person on the planet.
00:37:42It's because of the healing hands
00:37:43I inherited from Asseplius,
00:37:46the god of healing.
00:37:47I've saved several world leaders with these hands.
00:37:51That's how I was able to give Marissa
00:37:52the presidential contract
00:37:54and become the goddess healer.
00:37:56It makes me angrier hearing her name
00:37:58knowing how she betrayed you.
00:38:00But please, Trixie dear,
00:38:03I know it must have broken your heart,
00:38:05but embellishing your worth and who you are,
00:38:09it will only delay the healing process.
00:38:11You don't have to believe me just yet.
00:38:14After we lost mom and dad
00:38:16because we didn't have the money
00:38:17for their medical bills,
00:38:19I vowed that I would do everything I can
00:38:21to serve those in need.
00:38:23That's why I'm taking everything back from Butch
00:38:25and I'm giving it back to charity.
00:38:27You've always had an angel's heart.
00:38:30I'm certain you will meet someone
00:38:32who will treat you right,
00:38:33who actually deserves you.
00:38:36You will see tomorrow, Grandma.
00:38:39Oh, yeah.
00:38:45You said Trixie's crashing at my wedding?
00:38:48She was bullying us too, Sasa.
00:38:50She's probably trying to extort you
00:38:52now that she knows you're rich as fuck.
00:38:54When nobody steps on Snake,
00:38:57the Snake bites back hard.
00:38:58So let her come and embarrass herself.
00:39:01Yeah.
00:39:02You mean,
00:39:05we broadcast that video of me?
00:39:10Yes.
00:39:11Her cavewoman's take the 19th century tin can.
00:39:14She'll prop me up higher on my pedestal
00:39:16and the whole world sees her in her homeless mess
00:39:18against my presidential glow-up.
00:39:21Let's turn this party into her funeral.
00:39:29There he is.
00:39:32Welcome home, brother.
00:39:35Welcome home, General!
00:39:39Sir, the homeless woman who saved you, Miss Trixie.
00:39:41This is the file of her ex, Butch Tanner.
00:39:43He served with her regiment in the Marines.
00:39:46You mean the Butch Tanner that could barely carry supplies?
00:39:48Well, she's been providing for him
00:39:49and his entire family
00:39:50while he's been deployed overseas, sir.
00:39:52So she waited for him for years
00:39:54and then he betrayed her.
00:39:55Fucking coward.
00:39:56According to intel,
00:39:57she's planning to bring it down on them
00:39:58at their wedding.
00:40:00Then we should join her.
00:40:01Men,
00:40:02I'm only alive today
00:40:03because of that virtuous woman
00:40:05and her incredible power
00:40:06that saved my life.
00:40:07So she needs our support.
00:40:09Will you join me in protecting her?
00:40:10Yes, sir!
00:40:11We will allow our lives to protect her, sir!
00:40:14Then let's roll.
00:40:30Welcome, everyone, to my wedding.
00:40:33Today is a very special day for me and Butch.
00:40:35Not only are we getting married,
00:40:36but in just one hour,
00:40:37my company will be receiving
00:40:39the presidential contract
00:40:40allowing my biomedical company to go public.
00:40:47Congratulations on the contract
00:40:48once again, Mrs.
00:40:49Wait, who?
00:40:50Stowe, Butch is taking my last name.
00:40:53Oh, and please,
00:40:53don't be so uptight, Secretary Cho.
00:40:56You are the secretary
00:40:57of the entire U.S. Health Department,
00:40:59but this is a partay after all.
00:41:01I see some of the most important people
00:41:03in the nation have also arrived
00:41:05to celebrate you.
00:41:08The U.S. president
00:41:09will also be arriving soon
00:41:11to give you the contract herself.
00:41:13It's an honor.
00:41:14And that's why Sasa
00:41:16is the best wife
00:41:16a man could ever dream of.
00:41:19We will make sure
00:41:20the crowd is entertained tonight.
00:41:22We'll let the wedding begin!
00:41:26Not so fast.
00:41:28The party doesn't start
00:41:29until I say it does.
00:41:51You two really are a match made in hell.
00:41:55So I've come to save your guests
00:41:56from this oncoming train wreck.
00:41:58I don't recognize it
00:41:59from any of our elite circles.
00:42:01Who is she?
00:42:01Um, this is our entertainment
00:42:03for tonight, sir.
00:42:05Just watch.
00:42:08Trixie, what are you doing here?
00:42:10This isn't the homeless shelter.
00:42:11You lost.
00:42:12I bet she's here
00:42:13to bum a meal off us.
00:42:14You know,
00:42:15being this poor.
00:42:18Me, bum a meal.
00:42:20Have you forgotten
00:42:21that it was I
00:42:21who bankrolled you two
00:42:22for the last three years?
00:42:24And what evidence
00:42:24do you have of that?
00:42:25Look at me,
00:42:26then go look at yourself
00:42:27in the mirror.
00:42:28I'm a millionaire CEO.
00:42:30Even the first woman president
00:42:32will be here any second
00:42:33on to congratulate me.
00:42:34And you're nothing
00:42:35but a washed up sewer rat.
00:42:37Sasa, she's like
00:42:39so obsessed with me.
00:42:40She's like...
00:42:41See, everyone?
00:42:43Butch already cut ties
00:42:45with his ex,
00:42:45but she's so shameless
00:42:47and desperate
00:42:48that she'd still show up
00:42:49to my wedding
00:42:50to suck up to me.
00:42:51This is what poor,
00:42:53sad girls do.
00:42:54They beg
00:42:54for scraps
00:42:56from us,
00:42:57the rich and glorious.
00:42:59Projecting much, Marissa?
00:43:00You might feel
00:43:01all high and mighty now,
00:43:02but don't bite the hand
00:43:03that feeds you.
00:43:04Especially when I'm the one
00:43:06who's giving you the contract.
00:43:12You giving me the contract?
00:43:15You have no skills,
00:43:16no education,
00:43:18no connection,
00:43:18so how could you
00:43:19possibly have a pool
00:43:20to get the U.S.
00:43:22fucking president
00:43:23to give me
00:43:24a billion dollar contract?
00:43:25We both share
00:43:26humble beginnings, Marissa.
00:43:27And I saw potential in you.
00:43:29I even trusted you
00:43:30as my best friend.
00:43:31But I recognize now
00:43:33that greed
00:43:34has poisoned you.
00:43:35Don't be all sore now
00:43:36just because
00:43:37I stole your man.
00:43:38This is what
00:43:39us rich girls do.
00:43:41They steal from
00:43:42lame spinsters for fun.
00:43:44Damn right.
00:43:45You were
00:43:46too embarrassing
00:43:47for me.
00:43:48Sasa tramples you
00:43:49any day.
00:43:50I can say that now
00:43:51that I'm marrying the rich.
00:43:53Bravo!
00:43:54Self-admission
00:43:55of a gold digger.
00:43:56Quick!
00:43:56Somebody put that
00:43:57on a memoir.
00:43:58Sasa,
00:43:58she's embarrassing me
00:43:59in front of everyone.
00:44:00You should make her sup.
00:44:01Don't listen to her,
00:44:02everyone.
00:44:03She's a gold-dicking,
00:44:04blood-sucking leech.
00:44:05I don't even have
00:44:06to lift a finger
00:44:07and you're already
00:44:08embarrassing yourself
00:44:08in front of everyone
00:44:09for me, butch.
00:44:12You may look
00:44:13and sound like a man,
00:44:14but you're nothing
00:44:15but a pathetic coward.
00:44:16Okay, enough!
00:44:17You know what
00:44:18I always couldn't stand
00:44:19about you?
00:44:20Your moral posturing.
00:44:21But guess what?
00:44:23Morals are just lies
00:44:24to make you lame girls
00:44:25feel better about yourselves.
00:44:26That's why no man
00:44:27will choose you
00:44:28over Marissa Trixie.
00:44:30Because I've got
00:44:31the material goods
00:44:32and you're just
00:44:33all empty talk.
00:44:34I'm not here
00:44:34to request to be chosen
00:44:36because I'm the one
00:44:37who's doing the choosing.
00:44:40See this?
00:44:52Oh my god.
00:44:54Is that the billion-dollar
00:44:55contract for Sasha?
00:44:58The one that's supposed
00:44:59to make us all rich as fuck?
00:45:01No, absolutely not.
00:45:03I don't believe it.
00:45:05You all sound so scared already.
00:45:06Don't worry.
00:45:07This isn't that contract.
00:45:10It's the lease
00:45:11to the modest home
00:45:12you try to swindle from me.
00:45:16See everyone?
00:45:17She's just trying to bluff us.
00:45:19But you don't even have
00:45:19the guts to go all the way.
00:45:21Look at her following orders.
00:45:22I asked her to sign over
00:45:23the lease and here she is.
00:45:25Like a good little
00:45:27peasant slave.
00:45:28That house is worth
00:45:29all her life savings.
00:45:33You want to, I don't know,
00:45:35beg for a little treat
00:45:36while you're at it?
00:45:47You misunderstand me.
00:45:49I'm here to take back
00:45:50everything I've ever given you.
00:45:52I'm giving it to charity.
00:46:01Bro, she's gone cuckoo in the head.
00:46:02She thinks that just because
00:46:03she rented a pretty little dress
00:46:05she can pretend to be
00:46:06a deep pocket
00:46:06and invest in baddie.
00:46:07You wish you had
00:46:08that kind of money
00:46:09to just toss away, Trixie.
00:46:10It's just a drop
00:46:11in the bucket for me.
00:46:13I know what this is.
00:46:15You've gotten delusional
00:46:16and you think
00:46:17you're Cinderella
00:46:18so you can just show up
00:46:19to a fancy party
00:46:20and some Prince Charming
00:46:21will scoop you
00:46:22into money forever?
00:46:23Well, that's not happening.
00:46:24Security!
00:46:25Lock the doors.
00:46:26This woman doesn't leave
00:46:27until we're through with her.
00:46:32This is where
00:46:33your dreams will die, bitch.
00:46:37We found Miss Trixie Lysander.
00:46:39She's being cornered
00:46:40by her ex and his mistress
00:46:41at the Wickham wedding
00:46:41right now.
00:46:42Butch Tanner.
00:46:43Well, he's going to wish
00:46:44he died in battle
00:46:45after I'm done with him.
00:46:46Let's go.
00:46:50You think a few toy guns
00:46:52scare me, Marissa?
00:46:53I've saved plenty of people
00:46:55for much worse.
00:46:57Including your head
00:46:58of command, Butch.
00:46:59General Lysander Armstrong.
00:47:02You mean the legendary
00:47:03war hero?
00:47:04He's been in a coma
00:47:05for years after he saved
00:47:06the nation from a terrorist attack.
00:47:08You're an unskilled,
00:47:10unemployed, ugly leech.
00:47:12So how could you possibly
00:47:13have this magical ability
00:47:15to heal someone
00:47:16like General Lysander Armstrong?
00:47:18No one here
00:47:18is going to believe you.
00:47:19Have you really cured
00:47:20the incurable General?
00:47:22Then Sasa
00:47:22is the fucking
00:47:23Virgin Mary.
00:47:25And she's not.
00:47:26You're just asking
00:47:27to be humiliated, Trixie.
00:47:29Show them, Butch.
00:47:35See for yourselves, everyone.
00:47:38Trixie's just a
00:47:39freeloading beggar.
00:47:43She won't leave me
00:47:44and Marissa alone
00:47:45because we're rich
00:47:46as fuck now.
00:47:47I'm a major
00:47:48in the Marines.
00:47:49Sasa, she has
00:47:51a billion dollar
00:47:52biomedical contract
00:47:53with the military.
00:47:55Approved by the first
00:47:56female president
00:47:57of the United States
00:47:58herself, bitch.
00:48:00How despicable.
00:48:01She's just trying
00:48:02to leech off you
00:48:03like a parasitic gold digger.
00:48:05Get out of here.
00:48:06No one wants to marry you.
00:48:07No free meals
00:48:08for the poor.
00:48:09Do you see this,
00:48:10Trixie?
00:48:11This is high society.
00:48:13So you're either
00:48:14born on a silver spoon
00:48:15or you're as accomplished
00:48:16as me to be here.
00:48:18Maybe if you do
00:48:18some serious
00:48:19dick-sucking here,
00:48:21maybe someone
00:48:22will drop a couple
00:48:23bucks in your tin can.
00:48:26I already have
00:48:27everything one
00:48:28can dream of.
00:48:29But I valued
00:48:30our friendship, Marissa.
00:48:31Which is why I came here
00:48:32to give you a second chance.
00:48:33To see if you'd
00:48:34apologize and admit
00:48:35to your backstabbing.
00:48:36But no.
00:48:37You stooped so low
00:48:39it disgusts me.
00:48:41Nothing is more
00:48:42disgusting than you
00:48:43standing on street corners
00:48:44like a bum.
00:48:45And who knows
00:48:46if you've already
00:48:48started offering
00:48:48sexual services.
00:48:51Well then,
00:48:52why don't you
00:48:53get on your knees
00:48:54for me, Trixie?
00:48:55My brother
00:48:56will never take you back.
00:48:57No man will marry
00:48:58an embarrassment
00:48:59like you.
00:49:01But make me happy?
00:49:02And I might consider
00:49:03making you my
00:49:04personal prostitute.
00:49:16How dare you
00:49:17hit my brother?
00:49:18I'm never letting you
00:49:19leave here alive.
00:49:21It's awesome.
00:49:22I do something.
00:49:23Don't worry, my dear.
00:49:25After I'm done
00:49:25with you, Trixie,
00:49:26not even the goddess
00:49:27of healing
00:49:28will be able
00:49:28to save you.
00:49:30Oh, is that so?
00:49:33Security!
00:49:35Get down on your knees
00:49:37and give Bob
00:49:38one hell of a blowjob
00:49:39in front of everybody here
00:49:41or I'll pop
00:49:42so many holes in you
00:49:43the men here
00:49:44won't know
00:49:44which one to fuck.
00:49:45I don't need to be
00:49:46the goddess of anything
00:49:47to punish you.
00:49:48Any of the powerful
00:49:49leaders I've saved
00:49:50before could crush you
00:49:51before you even
00:49:52touch me.
00:49:53Dream on!
00:49:55You wish
00:49:56General Licentor
00:49:56scooped you
00:49:57off your feet
00:49:58but you aren't
00:49:58good enough for me.
00:49:59You're definitely
00:50:00not good enough
00:50:01for him.
00:50:01Enough!
00:50:02You're souring
00:50:03my party
00:50:04so you either
00:50:05get the fuck out
00:50:07or I'm gonna
00:50:07shoot you.
00:50:09On the count of three!
00:50:10I think I quite
00:50:11like it here.
00:50:12Two!
00:50:14Two!
00:50:14One!
00:50:17Two!
00:50:17Two!
00:50:18Two!
00:50:19Two!
00:50:20Two!
00:50:23Two!
00:50:24Two!
00:50:25This wine is so delicious!
00:50:27One!
00:50:28Shoot!
00:50:31Nobody is laying a hand
00:50:33on my future wife.
00:50:40It's...
00:50:41It's...
00:50:42It's...
00:50:42It's...
00:50:43It's...
00:50:43It's...
00:50:43It's...
00:50:44It's...
00:50:44It's...
00:50:51Who the hell is this?
00:50:56I'm sorry that I'm late.
00:50:57Did they hurt you?
00:50:59No.
00:51:00I'm fine.
00:51:01But, um...
00:51:02When did I become
00:51:03your future wife?
00:51:06You saved me,
00:51:07Trixie.
00:51:08Remember?
00:51:09I'm a man of my word.
00:51:10They're never gonna hurt
00:51:11you ever again.
00:51:12Really?
00:51:13It was nothing.
00:51:15I saved you because
00:51:16you're a good man.
00:51:17Not because I want you
00:51:18to owe me any favors.
00:51:25I see what this is.
00:51:26You're the one who cheated
00:51:27on me, Trixie.
00:51:29Look at you guys,
00:51:30a lovey-dove.
00:51:31Don't try to pin this on her.
00:51:32She waited for you
00:51:33for three years.
00:51:34This is the kind of woman
00:51:35of virtue that a man
00:51:36would die for.
00:51:37Do you hurt you?
00:51:40Don't make me laugh.
00:51:41She's probably out there
00:51:43giving blowjobs for cash.
00:51:44No man,
00:51:45who in a hundred foot pole
00:51:47would want to touch her.
00:51:48She should be happy
00:51:49Bob was willing to give her some.
00:51:55I see her in the Marines.
00:51:58I'm a major.
00:51:59And a look man.
00:52:01I know Trixie is like a,
00:52:03I don't know,
00:52:04a seven.
00:52:04Now that she's all cleaned up,
00:52:06but don't waste your manhood
00:52:07on a whiny,
00:52:08worthless woman like that.
00:52:10Ow!
00:52:11Ow!
00:52:13Ow!
00:52:13Ah!
00:52:14Ah!
00:52:15A real man
00:52:17never talks about a woman,
00:52:18no way.
00:52:20You're a coward.
00:52:30We don't need to fight fire
00:52:31with fire to deal
00:52:32with the likes of them.
00:52:34You're very gracious Trixie,
00:52:36you know that?
00:52:39You're only getting off of it
00:52:40because she's so kind,
00:52:41so you're going to do me
00:52:41the favor of never coming
00:52:42near her again.
00:52:43You understand?
00:52:44You want to fuck with me,
00:52:45you little dipshit?
00:52:46I'm a fucking major.
00:52:48You're probably lowest rank
00:52:49of the military grunts.
00:52:50I'll,
00:52:51I'll destroy you.
00:52:53Do you really not know
00:52:53who this is, Butch?
00:52:55I thought you were in the Marines.
00:52:57What have you been doing
00:52:57this whole time if you don't
00:52:58know who this war hero is?
00:53:01He was just a supply boy.
00:53:05War hero?
00:53:07Is this all part of your plan, Trixie?
00:53:09Poor girl.
00:53:11Did you sell your house
00:53:12to hire this actor
00:53:13so you can feel better
00:53:14about yourself?
00:53:15A woman's worth
00:53:16is tied to the man she marries.
00:53:18Trixie is worthless
00:53:19because that guy looks like
00:53:20a cowboy.
00:53:23A bum girl and a pimp.
00:53:26What a pair.
00:53:28Seems like they don't know
00:53:29who you are since you've been
00:53:30out of action for so long.
00:53:32I think we should try to
00:53:32play some house some more.
00:53:33Don't you think?
00:53:36Bring in the wedding gifts.
00:53:44What is all this?
00:53:46Trixie, listen.
00:53:47I know that you didn't ask
00:53:48for anything after you saved my life.
00:53:51But I know that we shared a moment.
00:53:56I'm not the kind of man
00:53:57to get close to a woman
00:53:58and then just disappear.
00:53:59It's not in my nature.
00:54:01I'm like somebody else here.
00:54:04Listen, Trixie.
00:54:06I have never met a woman like you.
00:54:11So incredible and kind and beautiful.
00:54:14So I know that you're the one for me.
00:54:19This guy's either nuts
00:54:20or a really, really good actor.
00:54:24Oscar worthy.
00:54:25Oscar worthy.
00:54:26No.
00:54:27First gift.
00:54:33Trixie, I know that you just lost your home.
00:54:35So I'm gifting you with your own new mansion.
00:54:39Worth $500 million.
00:54:41Previously owned by Jennifer Aniston.
00:54:45Second gift.
00:54:48This contains all the rights to my entire fortune.
00:54:52Which is now yours.
00:54:54Entire fortune from a cowboy actor?
00:54:57It must be nice.
00:54:58They already spent their entire life savings on this clown show.
00:55:00They've got nothing left.
00:55:02Why, Sander.
00:55:03I really don't care for any of us.
00:55:05No.
00:55:05Look.
00:55:05I know.
00:55:07I know that you are the farthest thing from a material woman.
00:55:10Okay?
00:55:10Which is exactly why my third gift is, um...
00:55:14Well...
00:55:23Well...
00:55:30Cleo!
00:55:32Hey!
00:55:33Oh my god.
00:55:35You found my dog.
00:55:41Trixie, I'm just a man.
00:55:42But with you, it's so much more.
00:55:45Trixie Amore.
00:55:49Will you marry me?
00:55:53You know I can't say no to this doggo.
00:55:58Yes.
00:55:59I will marry you.
00:56:16Go, go, power couple.
00:56:19Woo!
00:56:20Okay, stop.
00:56:22The only power couple here is Butch and I.
00:56:26Let's remind everyone how worthless Trixie is.
00:56:30No man in their right mind would marry that embarrassing sack of scraps.
00:56:35Hey.
00:56:36I don't care if she's homeless or not.
00:56:38But I'm making this woman my wife.
00:56:40Which means that she will be treated as, and cherished as, the most precious woman on Earth.
00:56:45Understand?
00:56:50You still don't realize that my brother is the most powerful man on Earth.
00:56:54This is General Lysander Armstrong.
00:57:04As if, like the almighty General Lysander Armstrong would propose to a homeless prostitute like Trixie.
00:57:11Yes, the Armstrong family basically controlled the global stock market.
00:57:15Lysander Armstrong would sooner marry the princess of England than someone from the lowest rank of society.
00:57:20I bet my life you're all just actors.
00:57:24Then you better enjoy your last breath.
00:57:26Come on, Lysander, what are we waiting for?
00:57:27Let's show them what we can do and get revenge for Trixie.
00:57:29What can a bunch of piss poor people do to us, the elites?
00:57:33Infect us with your poor people bad luck?
00:57:35She wishes.
00:57:36She could blame her low status on bad luck.
00:57:39Truth is, she's just a useless, lazy bitchin bum.
00:57:43She's utterly unmarriable.
00:57:47I can dispose of them in other means if you don't prefer violence.
00:57:51I'd handle them myself, but...
00:57:55I'll let you do all the heavy lifting.
00:57:57Go ahead, Lysander.
00:58:05Yes, hello, this is Lysander. Please bankrupt Marissa Wickham for me.
00:58:11Oh my gosh, I'm so scared!
00:58:13Anyone these days could call anyone and pretend to be on the phone.
00:58:23Uh, hello?
00:58:25Yes!
00:58:28What?!
00:58:33I'm going bankrupt!
00:58:37Hey, hey, hey.
00:58:44Are you sure that was the call, Sasha?
00:58:46That was a real call?
00:58:47People don't just suddenly go bankrupt like that.
00:58:49My company's dead!
00:58:50It evaporated!
00:58:52It's the thin air!
00:58:56That's impossible!
00:58:58Who are you?
00:58:59What did you do?
00:59:01Secretary Cho, you said you're the Secretary of Health, right?
00:59:04And you yourself said that the Armstrong family owns the entire global stock market.
00:59:08Could that be how they bankrupted Miss Wickham?
00:59:11What?
00:59:12Then that means...
00:59:14You're really Lysander Armstrong.
00:59:18The richest and most powerful man in the country.
00:59:21Trixie's married!
00:59:23The famed war hero!
00:59:25The man every girl wants and every man wants to be!
00:59:29Now you believe me?
00:59:30Those who do bad will always end up losing everything.
00:59:34There's gotta be some trick to this.
00:59:36You guys are just bums trying to extort money from us!
00:59:48I know why you're all over Trixie, because you've been in the military for so long.
00:59:52You don't know what a real woman can do for you.
00:59:55Let me take you to my wedding chamber and I'll show you a good time.
01:00:00Do you have your hands for me, or I'll have them removed for you.
01:00:08I would never be interested in a woman who's as vile and cruel and wicked as you are.
01:00:14Guess the cheater gets cheated on eventually.
01:00:19Sasa was just trying to save the company.
01:00:21I don't blame her at all.
01:00:23Your double standards are incredible.
01:00:24Okay, you don't want me, fine.
01:00:27But there's plenty of other efficiency.
01:00:29I can give you a room full of pageant winners.
01:00:3218 years old.
01:00:33Fresh for the taking!
01:00:41I did that so you wouldn't have to, Miss Trixie.
01:00:44Thank you, Devon.
01:00:47Marissa, not only have you backstabbed me, your best friend, by stealing my fiancé,
01:00:53but now you'd sell out other innocent girls just to get your company back?
01:00:57You're an insult to all good women out there.
01:00:59No, to all of humanity.
01:01:01So now, everything that I've ever given you to, I'm taking it all back.
01:01:08Wait, everyone, stop.
01:01:12They're impostors.
01:01:18I just got off the phone with the president and she said your contract is not getting cancelled, because it
01:01:22was assigned by the goddess healer herself.
01:01:25So, we won't go bankrupt?
01:01:27The goddess healer?
01:01:28You mean the eccentric and highly elusive sage in the field of medicine approved of my biomedical products?
01:01:34Yes, that's the highest honor anyone can have in the field of health and medicine.
01:01:38The goddess healer's motto is the right rewrites the wrong, the left leave the wrong bereft.
01:01:46That means she's rewarding me.
01:01:47The president would never let your company go bankrupt.
01:01:51In fact, she's on her way now.
01:01:55So you're telling me this dashingly handsome motherfucker over here isn't Lysander Armstrong?
01:02:01Who the fuck cares who he is?
01:02:03If the president and the goddess healer approves of my products, who cares about this washed-up war hero?
01:02:08We can break his legs, break his arms, no one would even bat an eye.
01:02:11She even gave us explicit permission to call upon secret services.
01:02:15FBI!
01:02:17FBI!
01:02:18You're under arrest for fraudulent claims and identity theft.
01:02:23Gotcha.
01:02:28Guess I still get the last laugh, Trixie.
01:02:31No, don't arrest her!
01:02:33Trixie's a good person.
01:02:35Please officer, don't arrest her!
01:02:37Grandma, Mr. Rogers, Mrs. Williams, what are you all doing here?
01:02:41The neighbors heard about the break-up between you and Butch.
01:02:44We were worried, so we came here to back you up.
01:02:48Listen officer, I can attest that Trixie Amoria is a good neighbor.
01:02:52She's very kind-hearted and would never break the law.
01:02:55Yes, and one time when my daughter needed university tuition, Trixie gave her everything she had just to help her
01:03:02out.
01:03:02She also paid for my recent heart surgery as well.
01:03:05My fiance really is an incredible woman.
01:03:08She's an angel descended from heaven.
01:03:15You must be the criminal pretending to be General Lysander Armstrong.
01:03:19My brother is not a criminal.
01:03:21He's a war hero who single-handedly saved this country from a terrorist attack.
01:03:26Without him, this whole country would have been bombed to ash.
01:03:28And that's why his choice to crime is stealing his identity.
01:03:32General Lysander Armstrong only fell into a coma because of the fight with the terrorist.
01:03:36And we've received no word that he's woken up yet, so this must be an imposter.
01:03:41I can tell that this whole dilemma with my identity is causing you a lot of trouble.
01:03:45But I promise that I'll get it resolved and we can focus on taking down your scumbag ex.
01:03:51If you want to arrest me, fine.
01:03:54But don't fuck with my fiance.
01:03:56You don't get to decide, punk.
01:03:57Let's go!
01:04:21Get him!
01:04:22If you can.
01:04:52Get him!
01:04:53Get him!
01:04:54Get him!
01:05:14Is that enough pain?
01:05:15Or do you want more?
01:05:25Legend is written all over you, Lysander.
01:05:29Grandma.
01:05:31Meet my new fiance.
01:05:35Wow, your new fiance.
01:05:37He's so manly.
01:05:39Much better than your last one.
01:05:41I always knew you'd find someone better.
01:05:44It's Butch's loss.
01:05:46Trixie has always been so much better than Marissa.
01:05:49She's like a shining star in the sky and Marissa's like a roach in the sewers.
01:05:55Bitch, we name calling now?
01:05:56I'll drown you out with insults from my side, right fam?
01:05:59Drown out the poor!
01:06:01Drown out the poor!
01:06:02Drown out the poor!
01:06:03Drown out the poor!
01:06:05Drown out the poor!
01:06:07Drown out the poor!
01:06:07Drown out the poor!
01:06:11Drown out the poor!
01:06:17Drown out the poor,
01:06:17So you're using defenseless lives as your shield because you know we won't hurt them.
01:06:22Let them eat, Kate!
01:06:24Hm.
01:06:34You can't shoot all of them.
01:06:35Grab what you can't, fam.
01:06:36Attack!
01:06:54You will not hurt a single soul in my presence.
01:07:03What the fuck was that?
01:07:05I don't care what the fuck it was.
01:07:06I'm not letting her make a fool of me at my own wedding.
01:07:17Damn it!
01:07:18Damn it!
01:07:18Damn it!
01:07:20You forgot I had a gun, too?
01:07:23That'll teach you from messing with the Wighhams.
01:07:25Take Miss Trixie and her family and get out of here.
01:07:27We're quartered.
01:07:28I'll sacrifice myself to fend them off.
01:07:30Devin, you and your brother are both good men.
01:07:34I will not let your injury be in vain.
01:07:36They will be punished.
01:07:40Now hold still for me.
01:07:45Wright rewrites the world.
01:07:56Holy fuck!
01:07:58Did she just reverse the bullet?
01:08:00By chanting the goddess healer's chant?
01:08:01She the goddess healer?
01:08:06I'm all better now.
01:08:08Thank you, Miss Trixie.
01:08:10See, I knew that you were no ordinary woman.
01:08:13No, please.
01:08:15I am just an ordinary girl.
01:08:16Don't put me on some sort of pedestal.
01:08:18Sure.
01:08:20You hear that?
01:08:21She's just some average homeless girl on the streets.
01:08:24She was probably holding out a super magnet that drew out the bullet.
01:08:27While I do not care for glory, I do believe in justice.
01:08:31Marissa and Butch, not only have you betrayed me, but now you've hurt the innocent, too.
01:08:36I will make you both pay for your crimes.
01:08:39And who are you to judge me for what I do?
01:08:41God?
01:08:43Wrong.
01:08:44But you're close.
01:08:46Oh, bullshit.
01:08:47I'm going to show you how the elite can travel in your little lives.
01:08:52You want to cross the line so bad?
01:08:54Then let's see you try.
01:08:55Charge!
01:09:05The hell is this?
01:09:07This is the line between life and death.
01:09:11Yo, was that extra neon spray paint?
01:09:14I'll admit it looks pretty good, but I'll die before I believe that's magic.
01:09:19You're not the Grim Reaper.
01:09:20What if it's a trap?
01:09:22That woman has many tricks up her sleeves.
01:09:24We ain't afraid of her.
01:09:25She's nothing but a circus prostitute.
01:09:28Why don't you cross the line and see for yourself?
01:09:31I will.
01:09:35Left leaves the wrong arrest.
01:09:44I'm fine.
01:09:45Nothing happens.
01:09:47You'll see soon enough.
01:09:48Oh, please.
01:09:49I really want to die.
01:09:51And you call this the line between life and death?
01:09:53I knew you were just making that shit up.
01:09:56Whoops.
01:09:56Just crossed it again.
01:09:58Whoops.
01:09:59And again.
01:10:00Nothing's happening.
01:10:13What did you do to my brother?
01:10:17I didn't do anything.
01:10:19Your brother just didn't want to heed my warning.
01:10:21I suggest you take him to the U.R.
01:10:24If you don't want your wedding to become his funeral.
01:10:27Come on.
01:10:28Major.
01:10:29Are you not going to help your own brother?
01:10:31How was he able to cross the line?
01:10:33See, this must be an illusion.
01:10:38Only the pure of heart can cross the line.
01:10:40Will somebody take my brother to the hospital, please?
01:10:50You're so sore, I wouldn't marry you.
01:10:52You'd go and hurt my brother.
01:10:53Oh, please.
01:10:54You hurt us first.
01:10:56At first, I was really hurt by your betrayal.
01:10:59But I've come to realize your true colors are that of a snake and a coward.
01:11:04Marissa, thanks for taking this low life from me.
01:11:08You blame yourself for being worthless.
01:11:11You think anyone would want to marry you when you've got nothing to offer?
01:11:16When you wear odd and crazy clothes all day?
01:11:22Don't touch my wife.
01:11:25And instead, Trixie gets a handsome and protective husband.
01:11:31You can daydream all you want now, Trixie.
01:11:33But when the presidential contract arrives, it'll hit you like a fucking truck.
01:11:37That you're nothing but an ugly phony and I'm the queen of everything.
01:11:40Oh, really?
01:11:41Then let me show you how it is I who has everything you want.
01:11:45You've got nothing on me.
01:11:50Yes.
01:11:51Tell the president to get here immediately.
01:11:58Goddess!
01:11:59Madam President, I require your assistance.
01:12:02Yes, we'll be there immediately.
01:12:07Get the VP.
01:12:08We're leaving now.
01:12:12Did she just pretend to call the first woman president of the United States?
01:12:16God, I knew you were cheap, but I didn't know you were crazy, too.
01:12:19I'm so glad I dumped you for Marissa.
01:12:22You're pathetic, Trixie.
01:12:24As Secretary, to remind everyone how I have the presidential contract coming.
01:12:27Miss Wickham is correct.
01:12:29I was on the phone with the president earlier.
01:12:30Only the most important people have Madam President's direct line.
01:12:34You hear that, everyone?
01:12:36There is no way low-life Trixie could have called the president by herself.
01:12:42She's just a desperate phony who doesn't get enough male attention,
01:12:45so she's come here to play up her importance.
01:12:48No, my granddaughter would never do that.
01:12:51Reversing time just to heal someone's wound, only the goddess healer can do that.
01:12:56Is Trixie really the goddess healer?
01:12:58Oh my gosh.
01:13:04Oh, first, your boy toy actor pretends to be the war hero General Lysander Armstrong,
01:13:10and now you, Trixie, are pretending to be the goddess healer who gave me my presidential contract?
01:13:15Is this how the working class think all the time?
01:13:19I never realized how delusional they were.
01:13:22You can only dream of what you can never have while we rub our riches and privilege in their faces.
01:13:28Look, I don't know what circus school you went to, but you trying to make me jealous, Trixie?
01:13:32Trixie, it ain't working. You can't just fake the...
01:13:37Yeah, but goddess healing power is legendary. It's like real magic.
01:13:42Trixie, you're an angel, but the goddess healing is beyond your imagination.
01:13:47And if we steal her identity just to punish her ex, won't her followers be furious and riot against you?
01:13:55No.
01:13:56Trixie, look.
01:13:57Trixie, look. I believe you. You saved me. Whether you're a goddess or not, you did that.
01:14:05No matter what happens, you are a goddess to me.
01:14:08We'll riot against you now.
01:14:10Tear her apart!
01:14:12Tear her apart!
01:14:13Tear her apart!
01:14:15Tear her apart!
01:14:17Tear her apart!
01:14:18The vice president arrives!
01:14:35Who dare cause ruckus in here?
01:14:40You're General Lysander Armstrong.
01:14:43Wait, what?
01:14:45He's actually General Lysander Armstrong?
01:14:48No, no. We've been through this already once, okay?
01:14:51Right, Secretary Cho?
01:14:52This actor Trixie hired pulled this weird stunt to try to bankrupt me.
01:14:58But you already confirmed with Madame President that I got the contract coming still, right?
01:15:02Yes. We all thought he was a fraud.
01:15:05What I mean is...
01:15:07You're the war hero, General Lysander Armstrong.
01:15:10And how dare you crash Miss Wickham's wedding?
01:15:13The moment you wake up, you fall under this vixen spell?
01:15:17And now you're attacking one of the most important allies to the president?
01:15:21He is the general.
01:15:24Oh, but he's in trouble now.
01:15:26Did you hear that?
01:15:27Even the vice president knows me as an important ally to the nation's leader.
01:15:32So what if Trixie picked up some washed-up war hero?
01:15:35We got the VP and the president.
01:15:37On our side, you'll always be nothing, Trixie.
01:15:42I told you.
01:15:43Now punish them, Vice President Langley. This is treason!
01:15:46Lysander Armstrong, you are stripped from your military honors and titles.
01:15:54Hurry! The goddess Healer needs us.
01:15:59You can't do that, Mr. Vice President.
01:16:01My brother is a war hero.
01:16:03He single-handedly saved this country from terrorist attack.
01:16:06He was in a coma for two years.
01:16:08If it wasn't for Miss Trixie, he would...
01:16:09Enough!
01:16:10You speak another word and I will bring down your entire family.
01:16:13Not just your brother.
01:16:16No.
01:16:17It's okay.
01:16:19Mr. Vice President, I've already given my life once for my country.
01:16:22I have no problem doing that again if it means protecting my fiancée's life.
01:16:27And let's be honest about one other thing, Mr. Vice President.
01:16:29I never gave a fuck about any damn titles.
01:16:35I truly saved a good man.
01:16:42I will not let you bring ruin to my fiancée.
01:16:45And what can you do about it?
01:16:47Oh, Mr. Vice President, I have a swell idea.
01:16:50My biomedical company invented the latest line of poison darts for the military.
01:16:55Let's try it out on them.
01:16:58Hold on, Mr. Vice President.
01:16:59There's no way that you're taking this seriously.
01:17:01Put innocent civilian lives in danger?
01:17:03Despicable.
01:17:04What's more despicable is that you and your filthy companions are disrespecting power.
01:17:10Miss Wickham, you can use full force on them.
01:17:14Did you hear that, boys?
01:17:18Oh.
01:17:28Shoot!
01:17:29Wait, that's the president.
01:17:41What the hell?
01:17:43Hey, idiots!
01:17:46Oh, my God.
01:17:48Oh, my gosh.
01:17:53I'm so sorry, Madam President.
01:17:55That was...
01:17:56They were totally aiming for Trixie, the fraud in the middle.
01:17:59What is this?
01:18:01Oh, that's my new biomedical weapon, Madam, for your military.
01:18:05This is a war crime.
01:18:06These are innocent civilian lives you're messing with.
01:18:09You're the uncivilized buffoon.
01:18:11I can shoot whoever I want.
01:18:12I have the presidential contract.
01:18:13With great power comes great responsibility.
01:18:16And this is the kind of dastardly creation you've made with the contract I gave you?
01:18:20What are you doing?
01:18:21Reverse the poison.
01:18:22And take it out of the present before it's too late.
01:18:24That is easy.
01:18:26There's no need.
01:18:28I'll save everyone.
01:18:43It's raining gold!
01:18:46What's happening?
01:18:48Trixie doesn't have that kind of money.
01:18:49It's got to be cheap glitter.
01:18:53She...
01:18:53She...
01:18:54She is...
01:18:55She is a criminal.
01:18:57Don't worry, Madam President.
01:18:59We will arrest her and we'll throw her in prison.
01:19:01I'd be quiet if I were you.
01:19:02Because you're the one that would be going to prison once everyone is healed up.
01:19:05What are you talking about?
01:19:07The President literally came here to give me my billion-dollar contract.
01:19:19This contract?
01:19:22Yes!
01:19:23Thank you, First Gentleman.
01:19:42My contract, you bitch!
01:19:44And that's not all.
01:19:57This foul weapon will not see the light of day.
01:20:00There is only a need for a vaccine if there is a virus.
01:20:03Don't you realize?
01:20:05Or are you too much of a goody-two-shoes to understand that?
01:20:08You're the real virus here, Marissa.
01:20:11Money is worth more to you than human lives.
01:20:13And that's something I cannot tolerate.
01:20:16So prepare yourself.
01:20:17Because I'm about to smite you.
01:20:21What are you going to do?
01:20:22The President is here.
01:20:24And I just invented the best biomedical products in the world.
01:20:29You'll pardon me for that little mishap, right?
01:20:32Madam President, you've recovered now.
01:20:35So what's your final decision?
01:20:39I'll...
01:20:40She's going to give me my billion-dollar...
01:20:47I'll smack her until she sees 50 stars.
01:20:54Why are you attacking me, Madam President?
01:20:56You're supposed to be giving me the billion-dollar contract.
01:20:59You wish, idiot!
01:21:03I've never seen a woman so vile, so ugly on the inside, it makes me want to vomit.
01:21:09I don't understand.
01:21:10I was just trying to punish these imposters for posing as the goddess of healing.
01:21:16And do you know the goddess healer saved me and my son during childbirth?
01:21:21You've really seen the goddess healer herself in the flesh?
01:21:25The one and only...
01:21:27And it's...
01:21:31Her.
01:21:47Welcome, goddess.
01:22:01You really are the goddess of healing, aren't you?
01:22:03How else did you think I saved you?
01:22:06Then why did you keep it a secret for so long?
01:22:10I wanted to walk the earth as a normal person.
01:22:13To help those in need.
01:22:15And make sure the man I chose loved me for me.
01:22:18No, so that means the billion dollar contract, it was you who gave it to me?
01:22:24She took it away just like that.
01:22:27That was her golden ticket.
01:22:29You were once my fiancé and best friend.
01:22:32But after everything you've done, we're officially getting ties with you both.
01:22:36No, please, I swear.
01:22:37I didn't know you were an ex.
01:22:39It doesn't matter who she is.
01:22:44Trixie has a heart of gold.
01:22:46She's an amazing person.
01:22:47And you ruined that the moment that you betrayed her.
01:22:51She's going to be my wife.
01:22:52Because she is the most beautiful and amazing woman on this planet.
01:23:01I love you.
01:23:15All her goals.
01:23:16All her clothes.
01:23:18All that could have been mine.
01:23:20This is all your fault.
01:23:21This is all...
01:23:22You seduced me!
01:23:25You were the one that came onto me, you himbo.
01:23:29Please, Trixie, give me another chance.
01:23:32I want to be rich again.
01:23:34I'll be your slave.
01:23:36I'll kiss the ground you walk on.
01:23:38You've had your chance to apologize.
01:23:40But it's too late now.
01:23:42All I see is your greed and how much you'd hurt others just to benefit yourself.
01:23:46You two should be locked up.
01:23:48And she shall.
01:23:50For creating illegal weapons of mass destruction, arrest Marissa and Butch Wickham.
01:23:56It's all your fault, Marissa.
01:23:58I never loved you.
01:23:59It's your fault!
01:24:00I was only with you for your money.
01:24:02You were rich.
01:24:04I'll see myself now.
01:24:07Rest assured, goddess.
01:24:09We will not be using these biomedical weapons.
01:24:12My platform is spreading kindness, just like you.
01:24:15I knew you'd uphold our shared values.
01:24:18That is why I saved you.
01:24:20With these healing hands, I will work tirelessly to change the world one good deed at a time.
01:24:25Well, let's not let this wedding go to waste.
01:24:31Let's party!
01:24:33Wait, what if we just got married?
01:24:36Right now?
01:24:37Yes.
01:24:37Well.
01:24:39Woo!
01:24:41Do you take each other to be your lawfully wedded partner?
01:24:46I do.
01:24:47I do.
01:24:48You may kiss the bride.
01:24:49You may kiss the bride.
01:24:52You may kiss the bride.
01:24:54You may kiss the bride.
01:24:57You may kiss the bride.
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