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The Last Leg - Season 34 - Episode 04
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00:02What a hell of a heart!
00:04Thank you for lettin' us be ourselves
00:06So don't mind me if I repeat myself
00:08These simple lines be good for your health
00:11And keep them trying rhymes on the shelf
00:13Live love life like you just don't care
00:15Five of eyes believe us never scared
00:18Raise the noise as the moment they fear
00:20Get up, you still appear from my dead
00:22Get up, throw your hands in the air
00:25Get up, get up, and shit right there
00:27Get up, get up, get up, get up
00:38Check out the news, take a deep breath
00:40And try not to break a sweat
00:42It's Friday, we're live, and it's time for The Last Leg
00:47Tonight on the show, we'll check out
00:49What happened when Andrew got seized
00:51Find out whether social media's gonna get yanked
00:55And see who nudged what at the Winter Olympics
00:57Plus we'll be joined by comedians Bridget Christie
01:00And Chloe Petz
01:01On the show that always pushes its luck
01:20Oh, g'day, hello
01:25Save it, there's a lot coming
01:28G'day, I'm Adam Hills, welcome to The Last Leg
01:30The show that's really glad we don't pre-record earlier in the week
01:36With me as always with the pride of Dartmoor, Josh Whittacombe
01:39And the man who genuinely said on Wednesday
01:41And I quote
01:42I still reckon this Andrew thing's gonna escalate
01:48Alex Crystal Ball Brooker
01:58Crystal Ball Brooker sounds like another of my disabilities
02:06It's very delicate
02:08We will cover the biggest news of the year in a second
02:11But before we get there
02:13It's February
02:16I mean, I can't imagine it getting any bigger than what happened yesterday
02:19But Josh, you have had a big week of your own, right?
02:22Yes
02:22Oh, yes
02:23I've been up to quite a lot
02:25I framed a man for a crime he didn't commit, actually
02:32I set up an email address, andypandyatgmail.com
02:36Sent a few emails to Jeffrey Epstein
02:38And I tell you what, it snowballed all right
02:40No, I didn't
02:42No, I went skiing
02:44I went on a skiing holiday for the first time, Adam
02:47Yes
02:48And I was, I'd never skied before, I'm 42
02:52I'm shocked to hear you've never skied before
02:56And I was excellent
03:01Would you like to see video proof of this?
03:03So, the, all right
03:08That sounded like you just, someone reacted to you saying you were gonna strip
03:12Oh, yes
03:13I'll see a little bit of that
03:14My instructor's in
03:17So, my daughter, who's eight, is in the kind of pink trousers
03:21And then in between us is the instructor
03:24And then I'm the one, the third one coming down
03:26So, you'll see the kind of speed I'm cutting down the slopes
03:29Okay
03:33So, here I go, as you can see
03:36Absolutely nailing it
03:38Look at that
03:39Look at that speed
03:43Look at me go
03:45Look, wait for it
03:47Yeah
03:48Yes
03:58I love the fact that the instructor's gone
04:00Do you know what?
04:01I'm just gonna let the eight-year-old go on their own
04:03And look after this little guy
04:05I had a feeling it wasn't gonna be great
04:07When you described your daughter as wearing trousers
04:12That genuinely is the worst thing to happen to winter sports since Tonya Harding
04:16And much like Tonya Harding, the people next to you have got gammy legs
04:21I, uh, genuinely, obviously they've played that at ten times slower than it should have
04:26Uh, it was tough
04:27It's tough skiing
04:29Really?
04:30Have you ever put ski boots on?
04:31You can bet
04:31Well, it's wrong two people to ask that, actually
04:33I've got on
04:36I've finished what you were about to say about the ski boots
04:38Do you know what?
04:38It's tough to move your foot
04:42You should try driving in one
04:46But it wasn't only your feet that struggled at the altitude
04:49No
04:49I, so the altitude, the atmosphere changed my hair
04:54Genuinely, I just, I looked in the mirror
04:56Like, every afternoon I had this haircut
04:59Which I've never had
05:03The irony is
05:05It looks like a ski slope
05:08You know, I look like one of those Tories that's just moved to reform
05:14You know, like in the films when Shrek becomes human for a little bit
05:22We were trying to work out who you look like
05:23My first thought was this guy from the Winter Olympics
05:28But, no, I think this is the perfect look-alike
05:42So that's our poll tonight
05:44Who do you think Josh looks like in that photo?
05:46What?
05:47Messages on Instagram with the hashtag Joshalike
05:50Or on WhatsApp using the number 07956175908
05:53Or you can scan the QR code on the screen
05:55You can also ask us any questions about the news
05:58Using the hashtag IsItOK?
06:00Look, let's not muck about
06:01Let's jump straight into the big story
06:03Emma said
06:04Is it OK that Andrew Mountbatten-Windsor has finally been arrested?
06:08Now
06:09At 9.55am yesterday
06:12The big story for this week's show
06:14Was going to be the upcoming by-election in Gorton and Denton
06:22That's the sound of a relieved crowd
06:28You should have heard the relieved co-hosts
06:31At 10am yesterday it was announced that the Andrew formerly known as Prince
06:35Had been arrested at his Sandringham estate for misconduct in public office
06:38By 10.05, Gorton and Denton started to sound like Andrew's new cellmates
06:45Lads
06:46Is this the ultimate case of fuck around and find out?
06:50Well
06:50Sorry
06:51I've never heard you say that phrase before
06:56Well, I mean
06:56Guys, is this a case of chat shit get banged?
07:00Right?
07:03Let me throw it out there, right?
07:05This is
07:07Netflix and chill
07:08I've run out of them
07:11Um
07:11Well, yeah
07:12I mean, it must have been weird for him to see handcuffs that weren't fluffy
07:18But I genuinely
07:19When somebody said to me
07:22Andrew's been arrested
07:23And they'd have asked me
07:24What for?
07:26Misconduct in a public office wouldn't have been in my first 100 years
07:29I bet you even when they told him he was like
07:32What, nothing else?
07:36If someone said to me
07:37What is misconduct in a public office?
07:39I go
07:39Has he photocopied his arms?
07:44Let's not rule it out
07:46Let's not rule it out
07:47He's ate someone's lunch in the fridge
07:49Police attended Andrew's estate at 8am yesterday
07:52And what we're calling
07:53It's a royal knock at the door
07:55Apparently you're up to 15 police in attendance
07:58In one car
08:00It's like clowns
08:02I bet you
08:03Before they went and done the arrest
08:05They were all sat there
08:06Just going to each other
08:06Tell you what
08:07I wonder who's going to play me in The Crown
08:12I mean, 15 seems heavy-handed
08:14But maybe they were just told
08:16They were visiting an estate
08:17To arrest an unemployed single dad
08:18With criminal connections
08:20What's worse for Andrew
08:21It was his 66th birthday
08:24I know
08:25Fee said
08:26Is it okay to wonder
08:26If he thought strippers
08:27Had been ordered for his birthday?
08:41He did he didn't know how to feel about it because he booked an escape room for his birthday
08:47This is harder than I thought
08:48All I've got is a bucket and a badge
08:51Do you reckon when he opened the door they still went, surprise?
08:55But this is the thing
08:56My thing is
08:57I was wondering
08:59Does Andrew
09:00Does he have two birthdays?
09:02Like the king
09:03So they're not going to have to like go and arrest him again in June
09:07And go, by the way
09:08This is your official arrest
09:10All of this raises so many questions
09:12Will there be a mug shot?
09:13If so, will he turn side on to make it look like a stamp?
09:18Will he be formally interviewed?
09:20If so, can it be by Emily Maitlis?
09:23Will he go to jail?
09:25If so, will he be serving at his brother's pleasure?
09:30And look, jail won't be too much of a stretch for Andrew
09:32Because he's used to arriving in a massive building
09:34And saying, what wing will I be sleeping in?
09:37I bet you he's watching Shawshank Redemption now
09:40Just planning to tunnel out behind a poster of a sloppy Giuseppe
09:45By the way, sloppy Giuseppe is not someone you want to meet in prison
09:51The Guardian reported that police have been assessing allegations
09:54That Andrew shared sensitive information
09:56With the billionaire child sex offender Jeffrey Epstein
09:58When he was a UK trade envoy
10:00Which makes me wonder
10:01Are we focusing on the wrong part of the sentence?
10:05Because surely the important words are
10:06With the billionaire child sex offender
10:09Not the other
10:10Hours after the arrest
10:11The King released a statement saying
10:17I'm going to say it
10:19Any statement you issue about your brother
10:21In which you have to use his full name
10:22Is not a good statement
10:24He finished by saying
10:26Let me say clearly
10:26The law must take its course
10:28I thought it was interesting
10:29That the King didn't say
10:30The news about my brother
10:32Yeah
10:33I just surely
10:34I mean, I'm sure he's thought this many times
10:37But especially this week
10:38King Charles must have sat there just going
10:40How was he mum's favourite?
10:52This is the mad thing
10:53Because they've just changed his home
10:56And they're basically going
10:57Oh, he's no longer associated with us
10:58Yeah, yeah
10:59And to be all serious
11:00Like, the Queen and Prince Philip
11:03They put the money up for him
11:04To, you know, settle that case situation
11:06I don't know what the legal way to say that is, Adam
11:09Yeah
11:10And then also the Queen's
11:11Someone who pushed for him to have this job
11:13And now basically
11:14The royals want less to do with him
11:17Than Brooklyn does with his own parents
11:22Meanwhile, the family of Virginia Giffray
11:24Released a statement saying
11:35And look, this may well be the first domino to fall
11:37In all of the rich and powerful men named in the Epstein files
11:40But if Andrew is found guilty
11:42Let's hope he's not just a mascot
11:43Who takes the hit for everybody else
11:45Because it's very hard to believe
11:47That of all the people named in those files
11:49Andrew is the only person
11:51Who may have done anything wrong
11:53Ironically, Andrew's sister, Princess Anne
11:55Yesterday
11:56Visited a prison in Leeds
12:02Presumably to do a recce
12:05So, if someone was to escape
12:07How would they do it?
12:13Do you think
12:13Exactly how high are these walls?
12:16She smuggled in some drugs
12:17So that he could trade them at a later date
12:21Andrew, there's three grams of spice
12:22Under a light fitting
12:27There's a burner phone in the toilet system
12:30The king, on the other hand
12:32Was at London Fashion Week yesterday
12:34This candid snap of him
12:36With Stella McCartney
12:37Looks like he was breaking
12:38The Andrew news to her
12:42In real time
12:44And you're not going to believe it
12:45It was his birthday
12:49He's going
12:50She's hidden spice in the light
12:53I tell you what though
12:54The king had a great day
12:56He said there going
12:57I tell you what
12:58Andrew would have loved this
12:59Honestly
13:00He'd have loved this
13:01It's orange jumpsuits
13:02In this season
13:02He'd have been
13:03The only way
13:04The king could have had
13:05A better day at London Fashion Week
13:06Is if the fashion
13:07Had turned out to be big gloves
13:12He's asking
13:12To sell him a carnage
13:13You can make a custom pair for
13:15Look, it's got to be annoying
13:17For Andrew too
13:17Because he's just moved
13:18Into a new place
13:19He's probably signed
13:20A 12-month contract
13:21With Sky
13:23Plus who's going to look
13:23After his massive horse
13:40I love that even the horse
13:42Watch the distance
13:43Themselves
13:46Social media
13:46Obviously went into overdrive
13:48And let's be honest
13:48It was only a matter of time
13:49Before someone did this
13:50Poignant drawing
13:57I've just got an image
13:58Of Paddington offering him
13:59Cigarettes
14:01And Andrew pulling some
14:02Out of his arse
14:02Going, no
14:03I keep mine in here
14:05For later
14:07And look
14:07Just when we thought yesterday
14:08That the story had no more
14:09Left to give
14:10Andrew was photographed
14:11In the back of the car
14:12As he left the police station
14:13You've all seen that
14:16In this now
14:17Iconic image
14:21You know
14:21When you've accidentally
14:22Text someone
14:23That you're slagging off
14:27I think
14:28I know
14:29There's not much praise
14:30Given to Andrew
14:30But you've got to respect
14:31A man who drops
14:32Existy
14:33For a police interrogation
14:37The worst thing
14:38Was it was an Uber pool
14:41So far or not
14:42You've used the word
14:43Spice and ecstasy
14:44And I've never seen you
14:45More uncomfortable
14:47To be fair to Andrew
14:48People do say
14:49You end up looking
14:50Like your dad
14:56And look
14:57We've all been
14:57We've all been caught
14:58In awkward photos
14:59I mean like this one
15:00That was taken of
15:00Josh and Alex
15:01Arriving at the studios today
15:07That's the ecstasy
15:08And spot
15:11The government
15:11Announced
15:12The government
15:12Are now said
15:13To be considering
15:13Removing Andrew
15:14From the line of succession
15:15Because he's still
15:16Eighth in line
15:17To the throne
15:18Thing is though
15:19If he goes to prison
15:20And he's queuing for the bog
15:21He might only be
15:22Third in line
15:22For the throne
15:23So there's
15:24Can you imagine
15:25If he's in prison
15:27And king
15:28And the king's speech
15:30Is done with his one phone call
15:34And he's like
15:35I'm going to keep it short
15:36There's some really scary guys
15:37Behind me
15:43I've seen a few
15:44Anasalubles in there
15:47Look if ever there was a chance
15:49That Andrew might be king
15:49It's now gone
15:50Like he's not going to get to live in a castle
15:52He's not going to get to wear the crown
15:53He certainly won't get to be on a stand
15:55So we've made this one up for him
16:02And look
16:03You know
16:04At the end of the day
16:04All of the
16:05Everything that went on yesterday
16:06He still missed out
16:08On his birthday
16:09Yeah
16:09He didn't get to celebrate his birthday
16:10He got home
16:11At like
16:11You know
16:11After 11 hours
16:12I'm sure they weren't celebrating then
16:13No exactly
16:14So we thought
16:15We'd do something for it
16:16Like obviously
16:17All of this broke yesterday
16:18We haven't had a lot of time
16:19To get a cake together
16:19But we've managed to get a cake together
16:21For him
16:21And I'm just hearing from our producers
16:23That it has just arrived
16:24So let's bring out the cake
16:27And let's sing
16:30For he's a pervy old fellow
16:33For he's a pervy old fellow
16:36For he's a pervy old fellow
16:41And so say all of us
16:43I think we need to be quicker
16:44So say all of us
16:46So say all of us
16:48For he's a pervy old fellow
16:50For he's a pervy old fellow
16:52But he's a pervy old fellow
16:55Stop!
16:56I need to say this last bit
16:57Subject to what happens in court
17:09Thanks Fergie
17:10Good luck with the new job
17:15Alright let's bring out tonight's guests
17:16Two comedians
17:17Who are making their first appearance
17:18On The Last Leg
17:19And boy have they chosen
17:20The right week to do it
17:21Please welcome
17:22Bridget Christie and Chloe Petz
17:33All right
17:35Hello
17:36Hello
17:36Happy Prince Andrew Arrest Day
17:49Happy Prince Andrew Arrest Day
17:51Hopefully we don't all hump as it's a special occasion.
17:55Look, obviously the big question is, first question is,
17:58have you ever had a disappointing birthday?
18:02Well, I've never been arrested for sharing trade secrets
18:05with a known paedophile whilst in public office,
18:07if that's what you're implying.
18:10I've only had good birthdays.
18:12So my last birthday I went to Disneyland
18:13and on my birthday I did like a character brunch breakfast
18:18and I was a bit nervous because Captain Hook's there
18:20and he was obviously a bit of a wrong one.
18:22But then I was thinking that's kind of thematically relevant
18:25because he had his own dealings with the underage on an island.
18:31So you heard it here first, Captain Hook is on the Epstein files.
18:36Hey, hey, hey, don't have a guy that's disabled on this show.
18:41Fine, allegedly.
18:44I had my 30th in a Wetherspoons
18:47and I got there before everyone else
18:50and everyone was two hours late.
18:53So I was just on my own.
18:54Oh.
18:56Very depressing.
18:57Wow.
18:59Even Andrew went, oh.
19:03Now, Chloe, you're on tour at the moment
19:05and I bring that up for a couple of reasons.
19:07One, to let everyone know you're on tour,
19:09but also because your tour poster, on your tour poster,
19:11your hair looks remarkably like Josh's from earlier on in the show.
19:22You were at altitude as well.
19:27Everyone was, um...
19:28Yeah, everyone was very surprised by Joyce's haircut,
19:30but it's just a classic lesbian haircut.
19:35I would urge you not to go to East London with your hair like that
19:38or a lot of ladies that look like me will try and kiss you on the lips.
19:42Be very careful.
19:43And why am I not going?
19:46You do dress like a lesbian, Josh.
19:48You what, sorry?
19:49You dress like a lesbian.
19:50Yeah.
19:53I've got to be clear on this.
19:54I do fail one of the key criteria.
19:58Which is...
20:02I'm a man.
20:03I'm a man.
20:05You fancy women, that's close enough.
20:07Yeah.
20:07Yeah.
20:08You've brought along a lookalike of Josh, though, tonight.
20:11Well, I've met a lot of horses that...
20:16You what?
20:16Have we got a photo?
20:17I think you've got a...
20:22Yeah, I can see it.
20:24Shall we get her back on to Prince Andrew?
20:29You've copped it more than him tonight.
20:31Look, it's been a bit of deja vu for us this week,
20:34because it was only a few weeks ago,
20:36we wrote a song to Farewell Peter Mandelson
20:38for his association with Jeffrey Epstein.
20:40And, look, here we are tonight doing the same for Andrew.
20:42So, much like Westlife did for Barry Manilow,
20:45we're repurposing the same song with a slightly different twist.
20:48So, to do that, over to you, Charlie Baker.
20:50And one of them we wanted to get here.
21:00Be it entitled to all your life.
21:05Lovely house, two kids, a wife.
21:09But you were brought undone because you had a weird response.
21:13When Maitlis asked why
21:15You were friends with a nonce
21:1866 just yesterday
21:22But this year there'll be no soiree
21:27Not so long ago
21:29You were perving at G-strings
21:32Now you might go down
21:34And you're serving on D-Wing
21:36Oh Andy
21:37Well they came and they ruined your birthday
21:43And they took you away
21:45Oh Andy
21:47Well who would you want as a cellmate
21:52Perhaps you could bonk with Mandy
22:07We'll have more last week for you after the break
22:10We'll weigh in on the social media ban
22:12And we'll check in on the Winter Olympics
22:13And we'll make a prediction for Gorton and Denton
22:14Plus we want to know who does Josh look like in this photo
22:17Message us on WhatsApp or Instagram
22:19Use the hashtag Joshalike
22:20We'll see you in a little bit
22:36Welcome back to Last Leg
22:37We've got my Bridget Christie and Chloe Petz
22:39We didn't get to ask you about Prince Andrew
22:42About what you've made of it all this week
22:43Andrew sorry Andrew
22:45Well I mean I think you do have to look at the parents
22:49No because if you look at all these men
22:53They're egomaniacs and they have a sense of entitlement
22:56And I don't think that just comes in adulthood
22:58And I think that I do
23:00I think we're too easy on little boys
23:03I think we need to be much harder on them
23:06Yeah
23:06Crueler
23:09So that they feel less good about themselves
23:11I mean I'm convinced
23:12No it's true honestly
23:13I was at a birthday party the other day
23:15Yeah
23:16And it was my friend's eight year old daughter
23:20And it was time for the cake
23:22And then her little brother came out
23:23He was about three
23:25Well and I'm sorry about this
23:26It's not very nice
23:27But he came out holding a poo on a plate
23:30Oh
23:31Disgusting
23:31I thought oh the shit's going to hit the fan here
23:34Anyway
23:35And they'd had an argument that morning
23:37He starts singing
23:38Also he wasn't dressed properly
23:40So there was only two candles in as well
23:43And she was eight
23:44I mean what a loser
23:45Anyway
23:46And then he sings her this song
23:48Happy birthday to you
23:49I've made you a poo
23:50I know it's disgusting
23:51But I hate you too
23:53Horrendous
23:54Awful
23:54And he wasn't
23:55And also I've got to be in my bonnet about
23:57I don't understand why we make allowances
23:59For little children's bad behaviour
24:01And old people's bad behaviour
24:04So like oh he's only three
24:06I know he's brought in a poo on a plate
24:07But he's only three
24:08And I know granny's racist
24:09But she's 90
24:13No but it's true
24:15Why do we do that?
24:18It's true though
24:20And also
24:22I'm 54
24:22And I'm not allowed to poo on a plate
24:24And be racist at a party
24:26Am I?
24:27I found that out the hard way
24:31But my point is
24:32My point is
24:34That the mum
24:35I thought the mum was going to go mad about it
24:37But she didn't
24:37She just went
24:38Oh dear
24:39Shall we put that in the toilet
24:40Where it belongs?
24:41I've forgotten his name
24:42I'm so traumatised by it
24:43Adolf probably
24:44Anyway
24:45And I was like
24:46Oh this is awful
24:47And I don't think she would have been
24:48If it was a little girl
24:50I think she would have been much harder
24:51Yeah
24:52On the girl
24:52Because we encourage girls
24:53To be caring and nice and nurturing
24:55We don't
24:56And I think it is precisely
24:58Because we tolerate little boys
25:00Pooing on plates
25:01At their big sister's birthday parties
25:03That Donald Trump
25:04Is the president of the United States
25:18Andrew's gotten away with it
25:19I mean it starts
25:20I think it must have started
25:21When he was little
25:22Your thoughts
25:22Um
25:23I just liked that it happened on his birthday
25:27Because I'm pretty sure
25:29That the arresting officer
25:30Must have been a gay man
25:32Right
25:33To have that level
25:34Of drama and chaos
25:38Just sat round in the briefing
25:39Like
25:39We shouldn't do it on his birthday
25:41Should we
25:43And then
25:44They definitely plan to get
25:45One of those big cakes
25:47Right
25:47And then the arresting officer
25:48Jump out of it
25:49And be like
25:50Come on prince
25:51You're going to the slammer
25:55Alright let's move on
25:55To other news now
25:56And there has been other news
25:59Apparently
25:59The boss of Meta
26:01Mark Zuckerberg
26:01Was in court
26:02In America this week
26:03To answer claims
26:03That social media platforms
26:04Are engineered to
26:05Exploit young people's brains
26:07Do we think social media apps
26:09Have affected our brains
26:11Leave a comment below
26:15Yeah 100%
26:17I personally can't get tiktok
26:19Because I know
26:20That it would absolutely
26:21Take over my life
26:22And the good thing
26:23For me about not having tiktok
26:25Is it gives me loads of time
26:26To go on instagram reels
26:31But I think the thing about me
26:33Is it kind of doesn't matter
26:34If I get rid of the apps anyway
26:35It's the phone that I'm addicted to
26:37Because if I didn't have like
26:38Instagram or tiktok
26:39I'd just be sat there like
26:40Scrolling the tesco club card out
26:42I did this
26:44I genuinely
26:45I locked off
26:46You can get this thing
26:46Where you locked off
26:47All my distracting apps
26:49And then I found myself
26:50Bored on a train
26:52I was like
26:52I wonder which town has uber
26:56So I just went on my uber app
26:58And typed in different towns
27:00To see if it worked
27:01I was like
27:01I am addicted to this
27:03So there's talk of a social media ban
27:05For children under 16
27:06How do we feel about that?
27:08Definitely
27:08I would do that
27:09Because it affects
27:10Genuinely
27:11To be serious
27:12Um
27:12It
27:13You can feel it yourself
27:15It affects you
27:16I've never
27:17Gone on social media
27:18And left feeling happier
27:20I always feel worse
27:21I feel more antsy
27:22I feel more anxious
27:24Do you disagree?
27:25I'm sorry
27:26I think that
27:26Any parent
27:28I think that
27:29If you've got children
27:30You want them to be on social media
27:32Even more
27:33Because it means that
27:34You don't have to
27:36Talk to them as much
27:39Oh come on
27:41Come on guys
27:42Come on
27:43A lot of agreement in the room
27:45I mean I think they should be on it more
27:47Yeah
27:47And I think all these politicians
27:49Saying no we've got to ban it
27:50They obviously don't spend any time
27:52With their children at all
27:53Hold on
27:54Okay
27:55Over Christmas
27:55My daughter made me
27:57A pasta dish
27:58That from a recipe
27:59From TikTok
28:00And then played me
28:01A Labby Siffre song
28:02That had gone viral
28:03On Instagram
28:04Yeah
28:04And I was
28:05Eating this amazing dinner
28:06Listening to this music
28:07Going
28:07Social media is awesome
28:08Yeah
28:09Yeah but
28:10Like recipes and music
28:11Existed before social media
28:20Alright let's move on
28:21To the Winter Olympics now
28:22GB racked up their third gold medal
28:24Last night
28:25GB's curlers
28:26Made it through to the final
28:27Which will take place tomorrow
28:29They're going to take on Canada
28:30Geocast said
28:31Is it okay that
28:32The most badass thing about Canada
28:33Is that they're cheating at curling
28:36Yeah so this week
28:38The Swedish curling team
28:39Accused the Canadian team
28:40Of double touching the stone
28:41Which sounds very much
28:43Like an Australian euphemism
28:44For ruining the toilet
28:47Oh mate
28:48I think I just
28:49Double touched the stone
28:51Didn't Prince Andrew
28:52Double touch the stone
28:54The Canadian athlete
28:55Was accused of
28:56Letting go of the stone
28:57Then giving it a tiny
28:58Extra flick with his finger
29:00Which is not allowed
29:01Yeah
29:01His response was to tell
29:02The Swedish curler
29:03To and I quote
29:04Fuck off
29:06I know
29:07It's the most exciting thing
29:08To happen to curling
29:10I mean
29:14Who would have thought
29:15The great rivalry
29:16Of our times
29:17Would be between
29:17The firebrands
29:18Of Sweden and Canada
29:19I love the fact that
29:22Somebody told someone else
29:24To fuck off
29:24While they're both
29:25Holding brooms
29:27But this is why
29:29I mean
29:29You don't
29:30You
29:30Canada
29:31You don't want to mess
29:32With Sweden
29:33Because you know now
29:34All the flat pack furniture
29:36That's getting sent to Canada
29:37That's going to have
29:38One screw missing
29:42How did World War 3 start
29:44And you go
29:44Well it's between
29:45Canada and Sweden
29:49Or should you start
29:50The bombing first
29:52Oh no after you eh
29:54Finally Chinese skier
29:56Is this your audition tape
29:59For hello hello
30:02Finally Chinese skier
30:03Eileen Gu gave
30:04One of the best answers
30:05Of all time
30:06At the Winter Olympics
30:07To a journalist this week
30:08Who asked whether
30:08Her two silver medals
30:10Could be seen as a loss
30:12Do you see
30:13These as two silvers
30:15Gained or two goals
30:16Lost
30:18I'm the most decorated
30:20Free skier
30:21Female free skier
30:22In history
30:22I think that's
30:23An answer in and of itself
30:26How do I say this
30:27Winning a medal
30:29At the Olympics
30:30Is a life changing
30:32Experience for every athlete
30:33Doing it five times
30:35Is exponentially harder
30:36Because every medal
30:37Is equally hard for me
30:39But everybody else's
30:40Expectations rise
30:41Right
30:42And so
30:42The two medals
30:44Lost situation
30:46To be quite frank
30:47With you
30:47I think it's kind of
30:49A ridiculous perspective
30:50To take
30:51I'm showcasing
30:52My best skiing
30:53I'm doing things
30:54That quite literally
30:55Have never been done before
30:56And so I think
30:58That is more than
30:59Good enough
30:59But thank you
31:00But thank you
31:01Thank you
31:02They're right
31:03Yes
31:03Come on
31:05And Phil
31:08Me and you
31:10How many times have we had the conversation
31:12You know
31:13Do we see it as a foot lost
31:14Or a silver won't gain
31:19You were fired up by that Chloe
31:21Yeah absolutely
31:22That was astounding
31:23And that was her like
31:24Under the intense pressure
31:26And media scrutiny
31:27Like that was so eloquent
31:28And beautiful
31:29Big up her
31:30Also
31:30Eileen Gu is one of the
31:33Highest paid female athletes
31:34On the planet
31:35She won two silvers
31:36In skiing
31:37And gold
31:37In the freestyle
31:38Verbal smackdown
31:40As I mentioned earlier
31:41The big story of the week
31:42Was going to be
31:43The Gorton and Denton
31:44By-election
31:44It does take place
31:46Next Thursday
31:46And is being seen
31:47As a massive test
31:48For Keir Starmer's leadership
31:49We should have the results
31:50Of the by-election
31:50For you next Friday
31:51Unless another royal
31:52Is arrested
31:53But
31:56I have to cross fingers
31:58Using two hands
32:03This week though
32:04We thought we'd try
32:05To predict the winner
32:05Of what you called
32:06The Mancunian Candidate
32:16Now
32:17We've taken our inspiration
32:18From the Winter Olympics
32:20For this predictor
32:21And just
32:22Genuinely
32:23People accuse us
32:24Of bias
32:24No matter what it is
32:25That we're doing
32:26So
32:26This week
32:28Josh and Alex
32:28Will randomly choose
32:29Helmets
32:30To put on our skiers
32:31Each helmet
32:32Will represent
32:32A different party
32:33We are doing this
32:34Clearly
32:35Fairly
32:35And above board
32:36Just like FIFA
32:38We've got 11 candidates
32:39Up there
32:40Alex pull out a helmet
32:41I'll tell you
32:42Which candidate
32:44And party it's for
32:44Happily
32:45This is
32:46The Conservative Party
32:48The Conservative Party
32:50Their candidate
32:50Is Charlotte Cadden
32:51She spent 30 years
32:52As a police officer
32:53So she's used to
32:54Dressing in blue
32:55This is
32:56The Communist League
32:58The Communist League
32:59The candidate is
33:00Hugo Wills
33:01They are an exceedingly
33:02Left wing political party
33:03And not
33:03As I thought
33:04A super group
33:05Made up of members
33:05Of the Communards
33:06And Human League
33:08The Social Democratic Party
33:11The Social Democratic Party
33:12The SDP
33:13Sebastian Moore
33:14Volunteers at a food bank
33:15And at 29
33:16Is a Millennial
33:17Which means
33:17If you don't vote for him
33:18He'll say
33:18It's totes cringe
33:20Rejoin EU
33:23Rejoin EU
33:24Joseph Omar
33:25From the Rejoin EU Party
33:27Wonder what their policies are
33:29I guess we'll never know
33:31Oh, the Green Party
33:33Sorry I broke the hat
33:34Oh, the hat's broken
33:35Green Party
33:35It's Hannah Spencer
33:36That's because it's not been made
33:38From good plastic
33:41She's a police officer
33:42No, she's a plumber by trade
33:44So let's hope she can end
33:44The leaks in Westminster
33:46Reform
33:47Reform
33:49Matt Goodwin
33:49Former GB News presenter
33:51Who ate his own book
33:52Live on air
33:52After losing a bet
33:53And it's not the only time
33:54Words have come out of his ass
33:58Advance UK
33:58Advance UK
33:59Nick Buckley is a candidate
34:01I don't know much about him
34:02But he's got a subheading
34:03On his Wikipedia page
34:04That says
34:04And I quote
34:05Views about women
34:09Libertarian
34:11Libertarian
34:11That is Dan Clark
34:12Is against digital ID cards
34:14And wants to roll back
34:15The arm of the state
34:15Just like Andrew
34:16Mountbatten-Windsor
34:17But for very different reasons
34:18Labour
34:20Labour
34:21The candidate is
34:22Angeliki Stoja
34:23She's a Labour candidate
34:25Or as she's known in Manchester
34:26Can't believe it's not Burnham
34:28Liberal Democrats
34:29Liberal Democrats
34:30Jackie Piercy
34:31A normal competent woman
34:32Who's lived in the area for years
34:33So she's not going to win
34:36And finally
34:37The monster raving loony party
34:38Monster raving loony party
34:42Their candidate is Sir Oinkalot
34:46Whose slogan is genuinely
34:47Think big, vote pig
34:51I'm going to count down
34:52I'm going to ask you to lift the barrier
34:54And the winner will be the skier
34:56Who goes the furthest
34:57Once they get off the edge
34:58Glad you're asking me to do this on live TV
35:00That's great
35:00Three, two, one
35:02Go
35:03Whoa
35:04And it's
35:06I'm going to say
35:08Oh my god
35:10Are you okay?
35:10Yeah, I'm fine
35:11Oh my god
35:13It's number two
35:15I fell off
35:16I was so excited
35:19I fell off
35:20No, it's number seven
35:22What a way to become disabled
35:27I was so excited
35:31I fell off
35:32So according to our poll
35:34The Libertarian candidate
35:36Dan Clark
35:36Is going to win
35:37Gordon and
35:38Henson
35:39Best episode ever
35:41That's fine
35:49You know what
35:50I'm better on the ski slopes
35:5314 years waiting for you to get a limp
35:57We'll have all last week for you after the break
35:59We'll ask whether aliens are real
36:00We'll meet this week's mystery guest
36:02And we'll find out if Josh is okay
36:04Plus we want to know
36:05Who does he look like in this photo
36:06Message us on WhatsApp
36:07Are you okay?
36:08Oh my god
36:08You've torn through your jeans
36:10Oh no
36:13Hashtag a Josh to like
36:14We'll see you in a bit
36:28Welcome back to The Last Leg
36:30We're joined by Bridget, Chrissy and Chloe Petz
36:32We've asked you tonight
36:34Who Josh looks like in this photo
36:36Andy said
36:37My dog
36:44Can we add the RSPCA to that please
36:47Johnny said
36:48Claire Balding
36:52And Hallie said
36:53This llama
37:03Alright back to the news
37:05Is it okay that Barack Obama said aliens are real this week
37:09I don't know if you've seen this
37:10He was answering quick fire questions on the podcast
37:12And he gave this intriguing answer
37:15Are aliens real?
37:18They're real but I haven't seen them
37:20And they're not being kept in
37:22What is it?
37:24Area 51
37:24Area 51
37:25There's no underground facility
37:28Unless there's this enormous conspiracy
37:31And they hid it from the President of the United States
37:36What about Area 52?
37:40So he knows they're real
37:42Yep
37:42But he hasn't seen them
37:43Yep
37:44The only explanation for that
37:45Is a blind date kind of scenario
37:47Where he's sat there
37:49There's three aliens on the other side of the screen
37:50And he's just asking them questions
37:53He never picked one
37:54Because they kept coming out with all sorts of innuendo
37:59Obama later issued a statement saying
38:01Statistically the universe is so vast
38:02That the odds are good there's life out there
38:04But the distances between solar systems are so great
38:07That the chances we've been visited by aliens is low
38:09And I saw no evidence during my presidency
38:12That extraterrestrials have made contact with us
38:14I think if President Obama had revealed aliens were real
38:19And we were putting it in part three
38:23That would show quite how much we do want to talk about Prince Andrew
38:27I also think that if aliens were real
38:30We would know by now
38:31Because Trump would have told us
38:32Right?
38:33I mean like the aliens are real
38:35And they find me very attractive
38:37But funnily enough
38:39Overnight Donald Trump announced
38:40He's now going to direct the defense departments
38:42To release government files
38:44Relating to the existence of UFOs and aliens
38:46Oh for the Epstein files
38:48Come on man
38:48Yeah but wait till you find out
38:51That there's a leak in it
38:53And Prince Andrew's been feeding secrets to the aliens
38:58Thingy I mean
38:59Will he be redacting any aliens in those files?
39:06Look it's been a big year for conspiracy theorists
39:09First it's revealed the world is being run by a cabal of pedophiles
39:12Now it turns out there might be aliens as well
39:15I mean next week we'll be interviewing the Loch Ness Monster
39:17And hear the new song from Tupac
39:21All right it's time to bring on this week's mystery guest
39:23Bridget and Chloe have to work out how they're connected to the news
39:25Can we have the mystery guest please?
39:28Oh
39:31Mysterious guest
39:40Okay so who is the mystery guest?
39:42This is Brenda
39:43Brenda was in the news this week
39:45But the question is why
39:46Can we have the dramatic lighting change please?
39:51What's Brenda in the news?
39:53Because
39:53A. She was reunited with her prosthetic leg
39:5610 months after losing it in the sea
39:58Because it finally washed up on a beach in East Yorkshire
40:01Was it because she was reunited with her prosthetic leg
40:0510 months after checking it into the cloakroom at the O2 arena
40:08And losing her ticket
40:10She eventually found a ticket in a pocket and they returned the leg
40:14Or is it because
40:16C. She was reunited with her prosthetic leg
40:1810 months after picking up someone else's
40:20In the changing rooms of a disabled line dancing session
40:24Eventually she found the person in a leg amnesty
40:27Okay
40:28A leg amnesty
40:30A leg amnesty
40:30A leg amnesty
40:31Do you not think that's a real thing?
40:33Have you been on this show before Chloe?
40:36The green room is a leg amnesty at the end
40:39Or sometimes we just all put them in a bowl
40:46I do like the idea of a leg honesty box
40:50I think whatever happens we know that Brenda is messy as fuck
40:55That is cool
40:56Yes
40:57Wow
40:57Okay
40:59Shall we ask some questions?
41:01Well just
41:01Do we have time?
41:02Well what was the concert?
41:06Okay
41:08We'll reveal the mystery guest after this round
41:10Fuck it out Brenda what's the point?
41:12Sorry sorry
41:13Emma Long Vale a song for her as well
41:15Plus Josh will wrap up the last seven days
41:16We'll see you in a little bit
41:30Welcome back to the last leg we're joined by Bridget Christie and Chloe Petz
41:33Now before the break we challenged them to work out how this person was connected to the news
41:37Can we have the options again please?
41:40So was Brenda A reunited with her prosthetic leg after losing it in the sea and it finally washed up
41:46on a beach in East Yorkshire
41:48Was she reunited with her prosthetic leg after checking it into the cloakroom at the O2 Arena and losing her
41:53ticket
41:53She eventually found it and they returned the leg
41:55Was she reunited with her prosthetic leg ten months after picking up someone else's in the changing rooms of a
42:00disabled line dancing session
42:02And she found it in a leg amnesty
42:04What are your thoughts?
42:06I wish it was all three
42:07But we think it is
42:09Lost at sea
42:10Lost at sea
42:13Brenda you've just given away the answer but
42:16Can you tell us the correct answer please
42:20Lost at sea
42:21Yay
42:21It was fun
42:24Thank you
42:24Thank you
42:26Thank you
42:26Thank you
42:26Thank you
42:27Thank you
42:31How?
42:33How?
42:34We all want to know how
42:36Okay
42:37On my bucket list was to have a swim in the sea before I was 70 so I joined the
42:44Flamborough flippers and
42:46Decided I was going to have this first dip with them for safety reasons obviously
42:50And I had a sea leg don't laugh I had a sea leg on so you can just go to
42:57the water
42:58You're not supposed to actually swim with it you're supposed to just get there take it off and then swim
43:03on
43:04Yeah
43:05Unfortunately they wanted to photograph so we stood along had a photograph done and at the last minute a big
43:12wave come and knocked me over
43:14And I fell backwards
43:16And I fell backwards leg went
43:17Off
43:18When it travels
43:19I fell on the floor
43:21But did nobody try and get get the leg for you?
43:25Um somebody apparently saw a leg
43:28Yeah
43:28But couldn't um
43:29But couldn't actually get hold of it in time because the wave was took it off
43:36That's a shit lifeguard
43:37That is
43:38That is
43:38That is
43:39That is
43:39So you got written off the leg?
43:41You'd forgotten about it then what happened?
43:42Oh 10 months had gone by and I'd forgotten about it and thought well I'm never going to go to
43:47see it again
43:47Just thought I'd never see it again and then a fossil hunter
43:52found it
43:54But
43:5410 months later and posted it on Facebook and one of the Flamborough flippers
44:01Noticed it and remembered me and said must be hers
44:05And they sent me a picture of this leg embedded in clay and the fossil hunter dug it out
44:14In clay?
44:14Yeah it was like in like this bottom of the hill it was like just embedded in clay
44:19Your leg was in a cliff
44:21Yeah in a cliff
44:23Sorry
44:23It wasn't in a bottle
44:24It was a message
44:25It wasn't in a bottle
44:27It wasn't in a bottle
44:27No it was in a cliff
44:28It was like washed up so hard
44:30Yeah
44:30It embedded itself in some clay
44:32Is it or is the leg like is it usable is it?
44:36Probably yeah
44:37Of course this
44:38Is it like a shell where if you put your ear to it you can hear the sea?
44:42I don't know
44:43I'm not that familiar with it yet
44:45I've not had it very long
44:46It's only recently been found
44:49But I reckon it probably is yeah
44:51Well listen we love this story so much we think it could be a musical
44:56And we've written a song for it and we're going to end the show with it tonight
44:59The song about you and your reunited leg
45:02Would you please thank Brenda?
45:03Thank you very much
45:05Well done Brenda
45:12Alright very briefly we ask you who you think Josh looks like in this photo
45:15Oh
45:16Ollie said a young Alan Bennett
45:20Katie said Princess Diana
45:24Kelly said
45:25Kelly said Gail Platt
45:31And Alex's mum Elaine Brooker said Peter Mandelson
45:36Oh
45:40Jesus Christ mum
45:42Alright
45:43We are about to end the show with a song about Brenda's prosthetic leg that was returned after 10 months
45:48at sea
45:48But before we do would you please thank our guests Bridget Christie
45:53And Chloe Petz
45:55And Chloe Petz
45:57And my co-host Josh Witticam
45:59And Alex Brooker
46:02We'll be back next week with comedians Jason Manford, Bella Hull and Lou Sanders
46:07Right now though we'd like to leave you with a song we wrote about Brenda Ogden's prosthetic leg
46:11That was discovered in a cliff last week after 10 months at sea
46:16And with Wuthering Heights topping the box office
46:18We asked Kate Bush tribute act moments of pleasure to help us out
46:21Thanks for watching the last leg my name is Adam Hills
46:24See you next week for the next leg
46:25Thank you
46:35Wily
46:37Sandy Shores we ran and jumped in glee
46:41You lost your leg when you jumped into the sea
46:46It was seaweed
46:49How could you leave me when I was part of you
46:54Attached to you
46:56I'm waterproof
46:57I'm waterproof
46:59Day turned into night
47:03You went home while I was part of being out of sight
47:07You left behind your withering, withering, withering stump in the cliff
47:13It's me, where's your knee? I've come home, I'm so cold
47:19Check me on your leg now
47:24In the cliff, it's me, where's your knee? I've come home, I'm so cold
47:31Check me on your leg now
47:43You left behind your withering, and if you take a mile
47:48You left behind my withering, withering, withering, withering, withering, withering, withering, withering, at all
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