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The Lesbian Homie S05E01 on Tubi watch online.
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00:13Previously on the Lesbian Hub
00:14Alba, for real, you should come out and catch a couple games.
00:16Get over there and ball out.
00:18See you new.
00:26Hey, baby.
00:33That's why you never spin the fucking block.
00:37Oh, fuck.
00:38It must be hard.
00:40Being a stud.
00:43Playing like you're not.
00:45What?
00:46Not here.
00:47Because I don't want you live to me.
00:50I want to know who you are.
00:52In other news, my sister's coming to town and I am excited.
00:57What you think about that, Bruce?
01:01Feel about what?
01:03Ain't that your whole word?
01:04You didn't mean to tell me you ain't gonna try to kick it with her?
01:07You're not still stuck on Zara, are you?
01:09Look, I try not to get involved.
01:11I told her to reach out to you and she told me she don't want to, so...
01:13I gotta respect that.
01:15Zara?
01:21Zara?
01:22What the fuck?
01:31Zara, stop!
01:40You gotta explain this.
01:43What the fuck is going on?
01:45Where you been?
01:48Look, Bruce.
01:49It's not what you think, alright?
01:51What?
01:52It's not yours.
01:55How do you know?
01:57Cause I know.
01:58I'm positive.
01:59Alright?
02:04We gotta go.
02:25I hate lying.
02:30It is what it is.
02:45I should be politically correct and just not answer your calls.
02:54I should be pretty cool director, not be petty at all.
03:01But I'm only 60 inches high.
03:03Hard about three rivers wide.
03:05Small, I feel so small.
03:07All I get my all.
03:09Why the fuck should you feel good?
03:11Why the fuck should you sleep well?
03:12Namaste, let it all go.
03:14Fuck that shit, give em hell.
03:16Bigger, bigger, bigger person.
03:19I ain't the bigger person.
03:23Fuck being the bigger person.
03:26I ain't the bigger person.
03:31I should be wishing you the best.
03:33Forget and just move along.
03:37Fuck that.
03:38You should be feeling what I feel.
03:40Now nigga, you were dead wrong.
03:42Dead, dead, dead, dead, dead, dead.
03:45No, ho-ass nigga lookin' for the clouds.
03:48Soon I wish I would've figured out.
03:49Embarrassing the way you're runnin' round.
03:51Should let my brother punch you in your mouth.
03:53Why the fuck should you feel good?
03:55Why the fuck should you sleep well?
03:57Namaste, let it all go.
03:59Fuck that shit, give em hell.
04:01Bigger, bigger, bigger person.
04:03I ain't the bigger person.
04:08Fuck being the bigger person.
04:10I ain't the bigger person.
04:14Heh.
04:15Hold on.
04:34Bruce!
04:35What are you doing?
04:47BJ, what are you doing out here?
04:48And why are you ignoring my phone calls?
04:50What are you doing out here?
04:51How'd you find me?
04:52Charmaine called me and she said she saw you walking by the freeway.
04:55What are you doing walking around the city?
04:57Where's your truck?
04:57Alicia, get in your whip and go home.
05:00No, get in my car.
05:01I'm taking you home.
05:02I'm not going home, I'm not getting in your car.
05:04I'm good.
05:11Bruce.
05:13What happened?
05:16Look.
05:18Whatever it is, I'm sure it'll get worked out.
05:22Can the nigga just get some air?
05:23Not by the damn freeway, BJ.
05:25I just happened to be over there.
05:26Le-Le-Le, look.
05:28I'm about to go back and forth with your ass about this shit.
05:30Nigga, don't cuss at me.
05:32You got me driving around looking for your goofy ass.
05:35Did nobody ask you to come looking for me?
05:36Correction, fool.
05:37Charmaine did.
05:38And Charmaine didn't mind her own fucking business.
05:45You being an asshole.
05:48I just want to be left alone right now.
05:54Let me take you to your truck.
05:56And then I'll leave you alone.
05:59I'm a grown ass man.
06:00I think I can walk to my vehicle by myself.
06:02Your sarcasm is not needed, nigga.
06:04And if you were a grown ass man,
06:06you wouldn't be acting like a little boy whenever you go through shit.
06:18Anyways, you do something stupid tonight,
06:22I'm gonna kick your ass.
06:25I'm not on that.
06:29Yeah, alright.
06:31Be safe, stupid.
06:51Maybe I will make myself a crush.
06:51Break the apoyist.
06:51You're dying me out.
06:52Just in fullåly,
06:55Embrace stable me,
06:55I Lehrģ¹,
06:55cabbage fluffy and you know my laughing mĆŖme!
07:05And all of them with music and music Megane.
07:35Where the hell you been at?
07:36Oh, shit.
07:40Nigga, I have been sitting here for hours waiting on your ass to get back.
07:45Damn.
07:47My bad.
07:49I fell asleep on a couch waiting for you and all you got to say is,
07:52My bad?
07:53Where were you at?
07:54The damn liquor store is only right up the street.
07:57Ma, I know.
07:58Time got away from me.
08:00The fuck you mean time got away from you?
08:03What you do, doze off in the chip aisle, nigga?
08:09Did you forget I was here?
08:12And where the fuck is the wine?
08:14I asked your ass to bring me back some 19 crimes, hot Cheetos and a honey bun.
08:20It's been three hours and you came back here with nothing?
08:24Okay, and then you just gonna sit there with that stupid ass look on your face.
08:28You ain't got shit to say?
08:30Look, Bonita.
08:33I just had a lot on my mind.
08:35Like what, nigga?
08:36When you left here, I was on your damn mind.
08:40Maybe we should do this another night.
08:43Are you serious?
08:47Let me walk you to your car.
08:49How about you walk this to your car and drive straight to hell, nigga?
08:54I finally agree to come to your house, trying to see where the night takes us, and you go
08:59Rayman on me with your weird ass.
09:04Alright, I messed up.
09:07But I ain't weird.
09:08Do you know what the fuck weird means?
09:10Yes, I know what the word means.
09:12What then?
09:13Define it.
09:15It means strange.
09:17Odd.
09:18Out of the ordinary.
09:20Unexpected.
09:21Unexpected behavior, nigga.
09:23Abnormal.
09:25Do anything about this night seem normal to you?
09:27I didn't think so.
09:29So your weird ass needs to delete my damn number.
09:32Weird ass nigga.
09:34How the fuck you lose track of three hours?
09:37Do I look stupid?
09:38Do I look like Boo Boo the damn fool to you?
09:40I don't.
09:54Reese?
09:56You always say my name like you surprised.
10:00What are you doing here?
10:02Same thing you are.
10:05And what is that?
10:07Try not to feel what you already feel.
10:12Damn.
10:14E?
10:14Y'all finally caught up to yourselves.
10:17Relax nigga.
10:19It's a dream.
10:21Ain't nobody lyin' in dreams.
10:22You always gotta narrate shit.
10:24Only when people are pretending not to see what's right in front of them.
10:30You remember the first time you looked at her different?
10:33Don't do that.
10:34I ain't doin' nothin'.
10:36I'm just sayin'.
10:37Feelings don't ask permission.
10:39And love, don't knock.
10:42It just moves in.
10:45Hey, this ain't fair.
10:46Neither is pretending you don't want what you want.
10:52If this was real, would you still look at me like that?
10:56I don't know how else to look at you.
10:59And that's the part nobody tells you about love.
11:07Sometimes it don't end messy.
11:11Sometimes it just ends honest.
11:14E!
11:16E!
11:18Nah, this ain't goodbye.
11:21This is just the truth catching up.
11:22You ever notice how quiet it gets when you stop fighting it?
11:35Feels like I'm exactly where I'm supposed to be.
11:42You still here?
11:46I ain't goin' nowhere.
11:53Bruce.
11:55The fuck?
11:57Bruce!
11:59Bruce!
12:00Bruce!
12:01She needs you.
12:03What?
12:03What?
12:04Bruce!
12:05Bruce, wait!
12:07Bruce!
12:07Bruce!
12:09Bruce!
12:11Bruce!
12:12Bruce!
12:13Bruce!
12:15Bruce!
12:16Bruce!
12:17Bruce!
12:19Bruce!
12:19Bruce!
12:20Bruce!
12:20Bruce, Bruce, get up nigga.
12:25Goddamn, stink in here bro.
12:38So what's up man?
12:39You got moms and pops thinking you somewhere sick and dying.
12:42Should've smelled like somebody in here dying.
12:44Right.
12:49What the fuck you doing here?
12:53Hold on, what'd I do?
12:56I came here because you ain't answering our near phone call or text.
12:59I would've took it personal but the homie didn't hear from you either.
13:02Well with you it is personal.
13:04What the fuck, why?
13:06Nigga you know why.
13:07Bruce, what's going on man?
13:09I don't get it. Why do you got the house looking and smelling like this?
13:15When was the last time you washed your ass?
13:16Dude, it smelled like a week.
13:17Carlos, you can get the fuck out nigga.
13:20Hey, I was joking.
13:21Do it look like I want to joke with you man?
13:22No, it look like you want to sit here in the dark and your goddamn feelings again.
13:27Hey man, get the fuck out.
13:28Hey, wait, wait, wait, wait. What are we doing?
13:30Hold on a second. Bruce, what's going on man?
13:33Bruce.
13:34What nigga?
13:35What's up man? Make it make sense.
13:37Got you over Natasha.
13:40Look man, I just came over to make sure you was alright.
13:42Shit, we both did.
13:43Yeah man, what's up with ours energy bro?
13:45I guess y'all thought it was funny to push the old me and Zara's situation, huh?
13:49Zara, what are you talking about?
13:50Pushing me to rekindle with Zara knowing she gay as fuck.
13:56Zara ain't gay.
13:57Guess the fuck she is nigga.
13:58I saw her with her whole girl from that valley liquor.
14:01Man, hey, females hang out with their home girls all the time to call each other girls.
14:06Yeah.
14:06I know I saw Jerome. They was together, nigga. And Zara was dressed like Cleo from Set It Off.
14:12Oh, that's different.
14:13Nah.
14:14Nah.
14:15Nigga, I'm not playing, Carlos. Y'all thought it was funny pushing me to another stud and shit?
14:24You really serious?
14:26Zara gay?
14:26DC, stop acting like you didn't fucking know, bruh.
14:28Nigga, I didn't.
14:29How the fuck not? Marquez is married to Zola, so I know the nigga knew. Ain't no fucking way he
14:33didn't know.
14:33Nigga, I'm telling you, I didn't. So, just to be sure, so Zara is gay?
14:39Nigga, I guess so.
14:44Brucey, what's going on, man? Talk to your brother.
14:49How is it that you keep choosing these women, man?
14:51I didn't choose shit, Jerome. It's because of these niggas.
14:54Like I said, I don't know shit. And I'm not even sure that Marquez knows.
14:58Hey, fuck that. That nigga knew, man. How you know?
15:02You talk to him, you know my brother don't be on that type of time.
15:05When the last time you see my brother play with any nigga like that?
15:09Did you even ask him?
15:11How you just gonna assume and hate a nigga without a conversation?
15:14Yeah, and the fact that this is the reason why you in seclusion.
15:17Like, nigga, if you don't pull your panties out your booty, you acting like a hoe.
15:21Not for the Tex Pops, man.
15:22Hey, hey, don't do that.
15:24Instead of being mad at the world, matter of fact, mad at me and my brother,
15:28call that nigga, man. Cause I'm telling you, I don't know shit.
15:32Yeah, and get some answers first before you start cutting off your people.
15:35Over here thinking you sick, something wrong with you,
15:37and you're just suffering from hard box rejection.
15:40And call mommy back too. First, wash your ass.
15:49I can't believe you would think I'd do some shit like that.
15:53Look, man. Just shut up.
15:55Judge.
15:57Call Kez. Figure that shit out.
16:18Oh, you see so good in the morning.
16:31Yeah, it does.
16:33Hey.
16:35Don't even eat no breakfast.
16:48Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
16:51Wait a second, babe.
16:52Babe, you gotta be kidding me.
16:55I know.
16:57I just...
16:58You just what? You're not ready still?
17:00I mean, I...
17:05When are you gonna be ready?
17:07I don't know.
17:08I thought I would be by now.
17:12Me too.
17:13Baby, I'm sorry.
17:16Don't be like that.
17:17Okay, let me make it up to you.
17:20I got another orgasm behind my pillow if you want it.
17:24You would make it up to me if you let me pleasure you.
17:27Baby, I am pleased.
17:29Okay, pleasing you pleases me.
17:30I'm good.
17:31So good.
17:32All right?
17:34Listen.
17:35You're not the only one that likes to taste, Christina.
17:39I get that.
17:40Do you?
17:42Yeah.
17:47I'm gonna get ready for work.
18:09Don't make no sense.
18:11Girl, don't trip.
18:12At least the judge was in a good mood.
18:13Shit, I couldn't tell.
18:15Every time I smiled at that host, she turned the other way.
18:18Well, maybe that's because she could feel the lies through your smile.
18:22You think so?
18:23Yeah, you kind of worked on that.
18:25Fuck, man.
18:27Girl, relax.
18:28Okay, you got this.
18:30Especially since that officer seemed to be on your side, which is crazy since he's the one that arrested you.
18:35I guess so.
18:37All right.
18:37Excuse me, ladies.
18:39How are you doing?
18:40Officer Taylor.
18:41Nadia.
18:42I will give you my last name, but I got warrants.
18:45Oh, is that right?
18:46No, I'm kidding.
18:47I'm joking.
18:48I abide by the law.
18:49Unlike her.
18:51I'm joking, too.
18:53Ms. Johnson, I hope my testimony to the judge really helps you in your favor.
18:58Yeah, me too.
19:01Of course.
19:01Just keep making the right decisions.
19:03All right.
19:03I'm sure everything will be fast and over with, or minimal consequences.
19:09Y'all have a good one.
19:10Nice to meet you.
19:11Pleasure.
19:16Minimal consequences, huh?
19:18Well, that was interesting.
19:20Yeah, it was.
19:22Yeah, it was.
19:23What?
19:25Not what.
19:26Why?
19:27Why what?
19:28Why would Officer cute as hell feel the need to come over here, introduce himself just to talk to you?
19:35Why that?
19:36Talk to me.
19:38Last I recall, he came up to you and introduced himself to you.
19:42So, I don't know what you're talking about.
19:45No, no, cut it.
19:46That nigga was all over you.
19:47I'm dressing you with his eyes and everything.
19:49Bitch, the lies you tell.
19:52Oh, shit.
19:53This your brother.
19:55Come on, we gotta go.
19:56Hey, baby.
19:57Tell me why they gave your sister life, no parole.
20:00But then she flashed a jury and then they let her off, so it was okay.
20:20Oh, big Bruce, back from MIA.
20:24Where you been?
20:25Did you know Zara was gay, man?
20:27And if so, why would you let me fuck with her to know all my previous issues?
20:30On top of that, why wouldn't you tell me she was pregnant?
20:33First off, I'm gonna need you to shake my hand before I answer any questions you demand of me, bro.
20:39My bad.
20:41Hey, the fuck you mean Zara gay?
20:45So you ain't know?
20:46Hell no.
20:47If I knew you'd know.
20:48And how's she gay if she gave you the panties?
20:50That's what I'm trying to make sense of, bro.
20:52I don't know.
20:52Man, it's not like you making shit up, bro.
20:54You still salty from when she dipped on you after you then scratched her little itch?
20:58I thought you was over that, man.
20:59I was over it, bro, until I saw her ass in Valley Liquor with a whole girlfriend and a baby
21:03bump.
21:05Zara got a girlfriend?
21:07And a baby bump, nigga.
21:09You sure?
21:10I'm 100% sure she's walking around looking like young M.A.
21:15Come on, man.
21:17Cut that shit out, bro.
21:18I'm dead serious, kids.
21:22This is gonna fuck Zola up, man.
21:24She probably already knew.
21:27Fuck him.
21:28If she knew, I'd know.
21:31How's she pregnant?
21:33Stas just don't be walking around carrying babies, bro.
21:37Wait.
21:38Baby yours?
21:39Nah.
21:40She said it wasn't mine.
21:41Well, who baby is it?
21:42I don't know.
21:42I didn't ask her.
21:43Why not?
21:43Because I was in shock, Marquez.
21:45I ain't know what the fuck to say or ask.
21:47You know what I'm saying?
21:48She said the baby was 100% not mine.
21:50So that's what it was.
21:52Hey.
21:53So Zara came back in town with secrets.
21:56That part.
21:58And you thought I'd be keeping this for you.
22:01You know how hard me and Zola be trying to have a baby, man.
22:05Yeah.
22:05And why the fuck would I keep Zara being pregnant for you?
22:10You're right, bro.
22:10My bad, man.
22:11Nah, fuck that.
22:12You came over here trying to bang on me about some shit I didn't even know about.
22:16And you dressed in all black.
22:17Who would think you Nino Brown?
22:19What, you gonna G-money me?
22:21Nah, man.
22:21It's just a coincidence.
22:22I just threw this on this morning.
22:23Man, shut up, nigga.
22:26I don't know what I'm saying, nigga.
22:26Look, guys.
22:27All kind of goofy shit is happening in my life right now, bro.
22:30I don't know what to think, man.
22:31My mind is all fucked up.
22:32You need to take your goofy ass back to that therapist, nigga, Tay told you about.
22:36You still got some shit to unpack, nigga.
22:41Now, let me get back to this shit, man.
22:44Fuck off my work site.
22:47My bad, bro.
22:50Take care of yourself, fuck nigga.
22:53Love you too, bro.
22:55Yeah, alright.
23:25I'm not sure.
23:26D-money, what's up?
23:28Hey, girl.
23:29You ready to have your mind blown?
23:32I mean, sure, I guess.
23:34What you saying to do with Equal Light or something?
23:36Nah, much better than that.
23:38I got the call.
23:40What call?
23:41Effervescence.
23:42I got the call.
23:44What are you talking about?
23:46Pack your bags.
23:48I'll see you back in LA in two days.
23:50What?
23:54You going to the little metronome?
24:00A little test, man.
24:03Yeah.
24:22Hey.
24:24So.
24:25How you doing?
24:29I'm all right.
24:30That's good.
24:35Figured it wouldn't make sense to hit you.
24:39Right.
24:42That night was crazy.
24:46Yeah.
24:49Was you and your girl able to work it out?
24:57Damn.
24:58It's all bad.
25:01You know, we both wish we could take back that night.
25:04You're absolutely right.
25:08Pardon me if I ain't too eager to see you right now.
25:11You know.
25:11I know what happened was messed up.
25:13Yeah, we shouldn't have been kicking it.
25:15You know what I'm saying?
25:16We was friends, right?
25:18Or something like it.
25:19I don't know about all that.
25:21What?
25:22No.
25:23I thought we was friends, but it felt more like seduction to me.
25:27Oh, you putting this all on me?
25:29If you wasn't at my house when Natasha pulled up, we'd still be together.
25:33What do you mean?
25:34Because the last I remember, y'all was having problems before I came around.
25:39I feel guilty for being part of the reason that your girl left you.
25:43But I don't remember forcing you to unbutton my jeans.
25:47Yeah, I ain't the only one who wanted it.
25:52And so you know, I went to jail that night.
25:55But the difference between me and you is that I'm not blaming you for my shit.
26:06I know you got caught up with the police that night.
26:09My bad.
26:10I guess if you need something, wake me up.
26:21Hey, Goose.
26:22Stay.
26:32Stay.
26:39We've been here way before now.
26:44No, the story doesn't change.
26:49Can't let go cause you let down.
26:54I just charge you to the game.
27:00Thought I was more than you haunt me
27:03More than you haunt me
27:06Thought I was more than you haunt me
27:13More than you haunt me
27:16Now I don't understand you
27:23How you love to love to cry
27:27Right after all you said no
27:31I broke a thousand times
27:36I
27:37Shoot
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