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LOL: Last One Laughing UK - Season 2 - Episode 06: Here Comes the Aeroplane

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Transcript
00:00We started with ten comedians
00:03It's like the first day of school
00:04and just one rule
00:05do
00:06not
00:07laugh
00:10Are you doing bub alright?
00:11or burp
00:13or squirt sausages at a nice old lady
00:16Oh dear
00:17but one by one
00:19they've cracked
00:20No!
00:21Whoa, snap!
00:23Ten
00:24has become four
00:26I've gotta give you a red card
00:31His eye looks like a grape
00:32in a tumble dryer
00:40Who will go the distance
00:41and be the last one laughing?
00:44Okay, that was definitely a laugh
00:58I got that
00:59Come on, help my friend
01:21I'll shake it
01:21You can do you
01:23I'm gonna take it
01:23It's a real thing
01:23Toilets
01:25The more than I'm not
01:26That's not a real thing
01:27left so we're gonna go sudden death oh wow okay we've not got much time left if anyone laughs it's
01:36a red card oh what are you doing there jimmy i've got to go i've got to be quick hey
01:44that's very
01:45look at them gun doors doors for fuck's sake
02:00jimmy as i live and breathe
02:07do you want a hand jimmy be okay
02:15if they didn't laugh at that they're not gonna laugh at anything no no
02:21you're really happy aren't you i might just leave that there doors
02:30he's left his freaking little sofa thing
02:46did you see that i bumped into the door yeah yeah i thought i styled out
02:51it was a little panic in your voice as you went doors
02:59that was so good god damn it
03:08that was so good
03:09bob's gonna get a song is that his laptop yes
03:14love song darling yes please would you join me i'd like to tell you about my true feelings for you
03:26so just relax yeah just wrote a few words for you
03:34you are the love of my life would you one day be my wife
03:42because if you would i would give up the booze tend to your crops and sterilize your loo
03:53both of those things i would do for you because you are the love of my life
04:02you are the hobbit i adore
04:07i'll buy you meat and what's more
04:11if we were together i'd stop drinking bitter i'd polish your shoes and mend the leak in your shitter
04:21both of these things i would do for you because you are the love of my life
04:30so thank you
04:31i hope in some way that helped it did help that was very moving and i liked the way you
04:38rhymed bitter
04:39and shitter thank you that's i couldn't think of anything else i think david mitchell might be
04:45unbreakable david have you ever dropped a bible onto like a dog or something
04:55not onto a dog you're pretty certain that you've got a good grip when it's a well i'm carrying a
05:00bible
05:01yeah i think you probably do i'd probably do accord it favorite shape favorite shape square nine bits
05:07of advice nine see they're targeting david um or try and get your tax bill done early don't smoke
05:18uh don't tell people not to smoke
05:22uh learn to drive i wish i'd learned to drive do you not drive david it's not to live my
05:27friend
05:28no but that wouldn't you know a bit of practice on that wouldn't be a
05:34she went at speed do you want to have a go dave i mean quite fun is it yeah it's
05:39great david on a
05:40pool face fun and it's good well that's true you know i mean there we go there he goes
05:48i'm going very tentatively go through the gap i can't really steer right here's
05:54romesh's rap book readers okay let's have a look
05:59come on right i think david's playing a good game he's going to try to take them all out yeah
06:04it's a lovely treat isn't it that's how you dreamed of your rat soon performed
06:08banned from kiss chase this is called david finding my rap book i mean even saying the words
06:15as a 47 year old father of three my rap book please smash me in the face it was like
06:21somebody
06:21finding a pair of your skiddy underpants my romantic struggle started early when i was
06:27eight the whole class played kiss chase and i was banned from participating do it in a rap way
06:32though david that was in a rap way
06:39my romantic struggle started early is that more rap that was deep rap yeah yeah go deeper dave
06:47oh david might go david might go my romantic struggle started early when i was eight the
06:54whole class it doesn't scan it's the introduction that's not the actual you know the whole class
07:00played kiss chase and i was banned from participating mainly by the kids but the teacher admitted they had
07:05their reasons oh sorry this is just an introductory paragraph to the rap
07:13this makes a lot more sense go on david kiss chase kiss chase please kiss my face you'll need to
07:19slow
07:20down though i'm not good in a race kiss chase please kiss me although i am smelly i struggle with
07:25bo and
07:26i don't watch under my belly that was high drop sorry i'm not taking the blame for that david mitchell
07:35could read a kendrick lamar lyric and ruin it
07:43can i oh i have oh yeah hello oh hi sam uh could you get david to do his uh
07:51joker please
07:51vladimir pudin has been assassinated who it's time for david's joker my joker i think it yeah i think
07:59they're just okay yeah okay let's go this way he's got two jokers oh my god this is so exciting
08:08do you want to have a waltz with me bob no okay um hello uh sorry just before i start
08:18a bit of
08:19explanation about this one i've worked with a lot of stand-up comedians over the years but i've never
08:26done stand-up i feel i know you i thought this would be a very trusting environment just to try
08:33it out
08:33oh no anyway just a bit of stand-up comedy from me please go for it go for it be
08:40supportive
08:40absolutely okay quick reminder if anyone laughs red card
08:46ladies ladies and gentlemen he hasn't tried stand-up before so please give him a big hand
09:01i know what you're thinking uh david mitchell's let himself go
09:09oh is this thing on oh fuck fuck um okay yes so um
09:23i went uh on a dating app the other day
09:28um as a result of which my my wife uh has left me uh in in retrospect i i shouldn't
09:35have used her
09:36email but uh didn't want the spam um uh cats and dogs um so cats and dogs
09:54they're overwhelmingly similar aren't they domesticated mammalian quadrupeds the lot of them
10:00bob bob bob bob's in trouble so no no point in anthropomorphism no one answer for more for
10:08fundamentally they're the same thing they they live in the house and they won't try to kill you
10:11oh you know although there have been terrible terrible news let's just no move along
10:17um crowd work um uh where where you're from uh middlesbrough sorry no i'll keep the where where
10:30you're from middle fucking him he said fucking him honestly what a fucking fucking him where
10:38fucking and fucking him sure it's weird are you are you together not really what are you doing with
10:49him that's going nowhere um so close to what i do though observational stuff um okay so
11:02what about what's the deal with assisted dying
11:09who wants assistance dying it's the last thing you want i mean what's next assisted stubbing your toe
11:18assisted being late for work assisted stepping on a plug assisted falling over assist what other bad
11:28assisted being in a traffic jam assisted being in a traffic jam assisted food poisoning
11:36assisted getting a bad back why do people want assistance dying
11:42hmm it's a serious topic
11:47yeah no obviously you're quite right there's um they're in a lot of pain is the bottom line is it's
11:53it's no existence for some people anyway that's all i've got time for um so have a great trip back
12:00to
12:01fucking him
12:04you idiots
12:07uh thanks you've been a great audience i'm david mitchell good night
12:14that's the closest bob's coming yeah definitely it's not alan woods yet sam's gonna try and finish him off go
12:20on sam
12:20i didn't mind that i thought he was all right i enjoyed that very much he was good extremely funny
12:29yeah bright future that was right up my street and he's very good
12:43you know it's a few wrinkles to iron out but i please see i'm still there i can book i
12:48can book the o2
12:49i think no wrinkles as far as i was concerned what sort of usually tickles your funny bird he should
12:56have asked that six hours ago shouldn't he i like innuendo like a clever innuendo
13:03well you're as dry as a divorcee's martini a what what you're as dry as a divorcee's martini
13:12why is it what's the innuendo there
13:19it's a simile yeah why would a divorcee have a particularly dry martini
13:28do you mean dry as in just sort of dry
13:39can i show you please do dave let's get let's get close i'm a bit worried
13:44what's this what's he got there's a thing on that will put it delicate it's on the bottom of my
13:52back
13:53mm-hmm it's changed do you want me to investigate well i've taken it i've taken a picture i just
14:00love your
14:01your opinion really i mean
14:05what do you think there's this sort of metallic blue
14:12it's sort of you see the skin around it is disrupted do you want me to have a look
14:16well just sort of zoom out a bit maybe oh actually no it's fine sorry it's a hot cross bun
14:23it's just a hot cross sorry that's not there just it's just hot cross bun sorry
14:31this is it this is it you see that's sorry that's how stupid that's just that's you see
14:36oh oh oh looks to me like you've got a luncheon meat of the back right yeah yeah
14:49bob immediately spotted it as luncheon meat he's he's got up close with a lot of luncheon meat he's
14:56probably woken up to that view i'm so intimately involved with luncheon meats and spams
15:04that i knew straight away what i was looking at
15:11okay i'm going back in okay i'll deal with this
15:16okay
15:18gotta get in somehow they're gonna go head to head doors
15:23who's in hey jimmy he's not so happy sorry uh bob mel please join me on stage for a head
15:29-to-head
15:29challenge okay we are going to test your knowledge of the animal kingdom what i'll let you to do is
15:37look your partner in the eye it's a game i call nature calls i'd like you to in turn look
15:45your partner
15:45in the eye and make the noise you think this animal makes mel you're to go first
15:52a coquettish bee one moment
16:06okay bob a drunk elephant
16:13oh
16:16oh
16:17fucking hell
16:23well a mafia boss sheep
16:27bye bye
16:30bye fucking bye
16:39bob's gonna go now they've both got twitches
16:47bob a duck from belfast no
16:53crack
16:56crack
16:57crack
16:57crack
17:04sounds a bit norwegian to me
17:07he's been there yeah but he's based in belfast he's done the tour
17:13well traveled
17:15i was thinking dutch that was crazy definitely european
17:20crack
17:22that's more oslo than belfast i'd need more belfast bob
17:25crack that's definitely more oslo
17:29crack
17:31oh my god how can you survive that
17:36okay mel a geordie monkey
17:44what oh oh oh
17:45it is very good that is what they sound like
17:52oh that is so crap
17:56bob a cool goat
18:08that was pretty cool mel a flamboyant frog
18:14ribbit ribbit
18:20this is very naughty
18:26ribbit ribbit
18:28ribbit ribbit
18:31a bob easy one for you a randy dolphin
18:42it's very far away
18:45very far away
18:46can you come a bit closer please
18:49really no no the dolphin
18:53i
18:53pardon me
18:55hi
18:58ya
18:58baby
19:06mel's gone she's gone no no
19:14you'd like to take your seats we'll take a look at the clip
19:17having to do those animal noises at very very close quarters with mortimer i think it was a quick
19:23bark of a laugh it was a bit like that couldn't pull it back and i knew i'd lost it
19:27then
19:28that was extraordinarily fun let's take a look
19:32a bob easy one for you are you randy dolphin
19:44you're going to have to take a look at that you're going to have to take a look at that
19:46it was fun though wasn't it it was brilliant i loved that every i don't want to go
19:53i must go you have to go but you've done very very well please come with me
19:57oh my god and then there were three thanks mel we honor you okay guys be strong doors
20:08i thought you were out first you did so well i honestly thought you'd be gone in seconds
20:16well done you did so well brilliant you were so brilliant i've done something permanent
20:27mel survived the drunk elephant and the duck from belfast but the randy dolphin got her it's
20:33game over for gedroich
20:36you ain't laughing are you sam i don't know what's going on i think i have found his own
20:41opinion but i know what you mean well i guess it answers the question how long does it take
20:45people to go utterly mad in a room yeah
20:49you are the love of my life i will treasure that and i'll hold you to it
20:55i'm gonna ask everyone who do you think is gonna win
20:59sam sam sam sam sam sam everyone's saying sam i'm gonna go david mitchell okay let's restart the game
21:08this is so far we're off again okay
21:25do you have a special name for a wee that you do if you get up in the night no
21:31no not a special name
21:34god bob's going for david now but i do one regularly
21:43right because i recommend calling it a chadwick
21:47chadwick's not chadwick yes i'm just yeah just sorry i was chadwick just just chadwicking
22:07i got you with chadwick bob's gone okay
22:19another one bites the dust oh bob no way doors
22:28hey jimmy oh bob take a look could i recommend calling it a chadwick
22:34chadwick chadwick's not chadwick yes i'm just yeah just sorry i was chadwick just just chadwicking
22:49fucking hell that's the way to go the champion has been defeated mr mitchell did me did you with your
22:57own chadwick i got david mitchell talking about his early evening movement i think he just caught
23:05me off guard it just made me laugh now one of you has got more cards for other people than
23:11the
23:11other one we've got five minutes remaining if neither of you laugh in the next five minutes the
23:15person who has caused the most laughs will be the winner the laugh assassin the laugh assassin yeah
23:20nice bob come with me good luck lads good luck to you it's been a pleasure
23:27doors i'll watch you man i think wherever you've been on my life all right yeah yeah sorry then i
23:32mean
23:33yeah you did very well again not so bad yeah bronze bronze this time bronze yeah that's good
23:40the chat turned to late night wheeze and bob simply couldn't hold it any longer our reigning champion
23:46is out bob come and take a seat over here i've never been in here before it's lovely nice it's
24:05really lovely to have you thank you let's restart the game i got this killer question i think it's
24:10just going to do you but i don't want to waste it if there we go david how many emails
24:20do you get
24:21most days both are so incapable of an authentic chat aren't they oh it varies maybe 20. promotional or
24:31social oh i don't get much spam mainly admin
24:38doesn't feel very natural conversation does it no no we're very different people we are really
24:45different people we're different okay and congrats for making it the final two thank you i think it's
24:51nothing to sneeze at you know it's pretty awesome yeah yeah though likewise yeah you think we've done
24:57who've acquitted ourselves well dave might go you know i don't think sam's going sam is invincible
25:06i'm going back in go on jim let's seal the deal come on what would you do if you were
25:12you i'll do
25:13mine i think the shadow was kind of nice yeah we go back to the shouting yeah okay we've got
25:17to find
25:19a wonder winner doors they can operate that better than that puff hi guys congratulations on making
25:29it this far yes please take a seat as a special treat i've got some uh delicious food for you
25:38you can eat
25:38as much as you like but there is a catch you have to feed each other are you happy to
25:43do that i'm happy to
25:43do that go for it i couldn't survive this could you not somebody feed him and what's the policy on
25:50feeding frenzies uh we're all in favor of it yeah yeah doors okay oh my god there's so many items
25:59there what would you go for i'd go hand on eclair hand feed eclair i think i think i think
26:05i would go
26:06eclair and then a proper actual mush do you like some squirty cream yeah it's a little bit scott oh
26:20sorry just pop that back in there we go shame to miss it he's got his finger in his mouth
26:24that can't
26:24be good can it i'll have a squirt oh will you ever oh my god i would be howling yeah
26:34i would be out
26:35oh god i don't think harry houdini could escape these eyes the great escape artist that's a great
26:43line i mean it's a bit dated but oh i think that's just the gas
26:49yes that was like oh sorry i'm sorry david sorry david sorry oh no i can't make it stop sorry
26:56don't make it sexual no no no you do oh david
27:04has it at all got in my beard just a smidgen this is so wrong what are we watching uh
27:13ever seen a
27:14little flick lady in the trap oh i think you'd have to take control of one yeah yeah okay
27:25oh my god
27:32my mouth isn't big enough there's always room for more jelly oh a bit of jelly
27:37good some not even a flicker right hello um you've got a favorite did it taste funny it doesn't ever
27:46why aren't you laughing then david you need to have some of this jelly it is so good okay
27:51okay we need a really nice big bit there we go big bit here he comes here comes the airplane
27:55oh with
27:56circle in the runway oh here we go oh turbulence we're gonna stay in there this is like cctv footage
28:03of a
28:03nursing home
28:11banana you think so i yeah okay they say they're easier to peel from the counterintuitive ends i read
28:17that in the trades that lean in could have been amusing many hours ago yes but now that part of
28:25me
28:25has died it's gone can i tell you there's one minute to go
28:35eat it
28:44oh is it banana-y it's really good maybe the potassium
28:51if you like me oh yeah i do like you yes
28:56i don't want that because i really like you okay it's starting to become something of a fascination
29:06you want chips now we probably shouldn't have had dessert before yeah as a savory pudding they're
29:10stone cold go on
29:15okay you can't like that okay we're gonna count down you have 10 seconds remaining 10 okay quick
29:24nine oh my days eight david seven
29:29seven six this has been such a nice experience five six four how's this chip three
29:53wow amazing incredible
30:01okay it goes to the tiebreaker
30:04what happens whoever's caused the most cards is the winner the most laughs
30:10who's caused the most laughs is it sam or dave okay it's come down to this a tie break doors
30:20hey jimmy gentlemen if you'd like to join me on the stage thank you
30:25thanks very much you've both played an incredible game one of you will be declared the winner of last one
30:33laughing
30:35and i can tell you the person that caused the most laughs today
30:39is
30:40it's so good
30:43all right
30:43whoa whoa Sam
30:46oh
30:49he's gone bright red
30:54I'm sorry, I was just Chadwick-ing.
31:02David Mitchell.
31:06Thank you very much.
31:12We have a winner!
31:15Well done!
31:17Yes, well deserved.
31:18Congratulations, thank you. Let me kiss you on your shoulder.
31:23Oh, he's so sweet!
31:25Now, how do you gents feel?
31:27That was quite insane,
31:29because I think we disappeared into a place where there was no laughter.
31:33I have to say, for all of the bleakness at the end,
31:37I am delighted to win.
31:38And I think that shows a want of character in me.
31:42But I was very pleased.
31:44What was the closest you came to laughing today?
31:46Alan Carr.
31:47Just when I would check him out, sometimes he would really crack me up.
31:50I came close quite a few times early.
31:54You were both absolutely unbreakable.
31:56I kept thinking this driver was telling me about
31:58we're going up in foster care.
31:59It was, like, really harrowing.
32:01And I've just been thinking about that to get to this place.
32:05Is David Mitchell a worthy winner? Absolutely.
32:07The guy is a pro.
32:08Roisin, come through with the others and the trophy.
32:13Oh, wow!
32:14Yay!
32:16I'm really pleased that David won.
32:19He did so much.
32:21And on the strength of his singing and dancing alone,
32:24I think he deserved it.
32:27Here they are.
32:29So fun.
32:29Hello.
32:30I've had a lovely day.
32:31I loved it.
32:32Oh, my God!
32:34It went to the Mitch, and I think he was very, very flipping solid
32:39all the way through.
32:41You're entertaining, you're making other people laugh,
32:44but you're solid yourself.
32:46Absolutely worthy of the trove.
32:49Well done.
32:50Thank you, everyone.
32:52He was funny.
32:53He was sharp.
32:55He was just really good entertainment.
32:57So I'm really pleased he won.
32:59Well done.
33:01That was Last One Laughing season two.
33:04David Mitchell is the winner.
33:06I mean, they're all winners.
33:07We've had a tremendous time.
33:14David's a formidable force just because of his wit and his brain.
33:17Well done, David.
33:19Nice job.
33:19It was just a terrifically funny group of people.
33:23I was honored to be in their company,
33:27to be chosen alongside them.
33:29It was just a genuinely felt, oh, this is nice.
33:34That's our show, everyone.
33:36Thanks for watching.
33:37Good night.
33:49Bye now.
33:50Bye now.
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