- 10 hours ago
My Dad Is Poseidon
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Short filmTranscript
00:12Slow-ass sea slug! Your launch today, beach!
00:33Slow-ass sea slug!
01:00Filthy scavengers! When Lord Poseidon ruled the Deep, you Skyrats swore never to breach the surface.
01:09Poseidon? Fish food ages ago.
01:37Sire! Zeus' people just breached your outer barrier.
01:41I'm retired. Don't bring that crap to my door.
01:48Sire!
02:04Who the hell broke my new console? I'm gonna go deal with that bastard!
02:09Sire! You're finally stepping in!
02:25Go fight somewhere else. Don't block me from clearing my game.
02:28My king! Even Poseidon himself would still be fit to shine my boots!
02:54What did you do? Turn me back right now!
03:02Sire! The entire Abyssal Realm awaits your command! Lead us against Olympus! We beg you!
03:08Zeus' brain's probably been eaten out by Chlamydia for years. I'm retired. I don't waste breath on crazy people.
03:20Screw power struggles. Rotting in bed playing games is the real way to live.
03:30Fight!
03:37Get your hands off me, creep!
03:39Sorry. I didn't mean to...
03:45Wait. Pointy ears. A dryage? What's a forest nintz doing here?
03:54He's just a regular human. A total nerd. Damn it. The Aphrodisians kicking in.
04:09You're burning up down here. Way harder than I pictured.
04:14I was drugged. This whole thing is Dylan's sick setup. If I don't mate someone before the timer runs out,
04:21I die.
04:21I really need this guy. I really need this guy. Goddamn. You really know how to flip my switch.
04:40I need more. A lot more.
04:50Don't stop. Harder. Squeeze me tighter.
05:01What the hell did you do to me last night?
05:05Hey. I put in a lot of work. Don't tell me you forgot.
05:09What?
05:10Leora! I know you're in there! Nowhere left to run!
05:14Damn it. He tracked me.
05:29Leora. You're my fiancé. You belong with me. Come home.
05:33Get away, Dylan!
05:37As the leader of the Sacher, you actually drugged me.
05:44Why the fuck are you wearing some dude's shirt?
05:47You slept with someone?
05:50Who screwed up my plan?!
05:54Oh, so you're the genius who roofed her.
05:57Newsflash, tough guy. Real men don't need tricks.
06:00You talking to the boss like that, punk?!
06:08So you're the loser who ruined everything?
06:10You actually fucked this beach bomb shut in?!
06:20Touch him again and you'll regret it!
06:22Her body's tainted now, but her blood still has value. Can't push too hard yet.
06:28I won't kill him.
06:31But you're coming with me, Loria.
06:34Babe, if you don't want to go, I can handle this clown.
06:43Forget today ever happened.
06:45Go back to your life.
06:59Seriously? Can't I just play my game for once?
07:12Those assholes are back already.
07:14What are you talking about?!
07:21Hey, pencil neck! I'm Dylan's top enforcer.
07:24Either get the hell out of this water, or kneel and call me daddy.
07:28Dylan Hoop, speak up man, my ears are shot.
07:31Keep acting tough!
07:32Jax can stomp boulders to dust!
07:34Even Nereus' sea boat give him a wide burn!
07:49You asked for this.
08:03You one-shotted pants-topping orcers?!
08:05Who the hell are you?!
08:17You!
08:18Asshole. Using my divine power to barbecue.
08:21Hope you die alone and miserable.
08:24What are you whining about?
08:26Nothing.
08:27Heat's too low. Sprinkle this and baste it again.
08:35Molly? Gods make heroes with it use seasoned food?
08:41Huh. Tide barrier just got tripped.
08:50Mommy, is daddy stationed way out in the deep sea? Is that why he never comes to see me?
08:55Yeah, baby. But he retired recently. We're gonna find him now.
09:09I'm badly wounded. I don't have much time.
09:13Find Lily's real father. Leave her with him.
09:16I just hope you two can live in peace.
09:20Far away from those bastards on Mount Olympus.
09:36There it is.
09:45Liara's wounded bad. Drag them both back to the Dillon. Lifetime of easy living.
09:54What the hell was that?
09:57Nothing. Just swapped a bug.
10:02That girl from five years ago. You came looking for me?
10:07She's your daughter.
10:09We need you now.
10:12So you're my dad?
10:13You're actually pretty handsome.
10:16This aura? She's got my blood.
10:24Who did this?
10:26Don't worry about it. Just keep Lily safe.
10:33Mommy? Mommy?
10:36Mommy? Mommy?
10:37Mommy?
10:45Mommy?
10:47Mommy?
10:52It's too late, boss. Her heartbeat's fading fast.
10:59Please.
11:10Somebody help me!
11:24Give me a name, Leora.
11:26Who did this?
11:27I'm going to tear them apart.
11:31It was...
11:53Your father sold you to me a long time ago.
11:55You're my fiancé, my property.
11:57You filthy whore.
11:59Spread your legs for some stray dog!
12:04But at least your bloodline is still worth something.
12:12No, let go!
12:16With nymph blood in my veins, even Olympus will bow to me.
12:27I got careless.
12:30Diving near a shipwreck.
12:31My fault.
12:32Shipwreck?
12:34Those cuts are surgical, Leora.
12:36Someone did this to you.
12:41You're just a regular guy.
12:43Stay out of it.
12:44Boss, soup's ready.
12:52If I don't make it, promise me you'll take care of Lily.
12:57She's all we have left.
12:59She's safe.
13:01Now drink.
13:04Soup isn't going to fix this, Jack.
13:12Jack, you...
13:15Ambrosia residue?
13:16Golden apple sap?
13:17I studied this in grad's time.
13:20Greek meth said it could raise the dead for mortals.
13:22Where the hell did you get this?
13:25More.
13:26Try it.
13:37These ingredients, where did you get them?
13:45It's my first time meeting Daddy.
13:47I gotta find the prettiest shell for him.
14:13What a lively little snack.
14:26I just fished this stuff out of the bay.
14:29You want more?
14:30I've got a ton of it laying around.
14:32This guy's luck is insane.
14:36A random mortal just happens to have relics of the old gods?
14:41Is this coast a secret Olympian vault?
14:43You're safe here, Liria.
14:48We've got a kid together now.
14:51I'm not letting anything touch.
14:54You or Lily.
14:56Jack, I'm grateful, but I...
14:58Daddy!
14:59Help!
15:02Something's trying to eat me!
15:05Lily's in trouble!
15:12I...
15:13I'm not tasty.
15:14My mommy and daddy are super strong.
15:18Please don't eat me!
15:23Divine power runs through this girl.
15:26Devour you.
15:28And I might even claim the Sea King's throne.
15:33Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!
15:37Ha ha ha ha ha!
15:42Ha ha ha ha ha ha!
16:04You disgusting freak!
16:07What do you think you're doing to my daughter?
16:09Mommy!
16:12I've got you, baby.
16:14Touch my kid again,
16:16and I'll rip her head off your shoulders!
16:19Ha!
16:20You ruined my meal?
16:24Wait.
16:25The baby mama herself.
16:28Perfect.
16:32Two courses for the price of one!
16:41You bitch!
16:48Jack, take Lily and run!
16:50Go!
16:51Go!
16:55Run from the Lycian Hydro,
16:58you pathetic little insects!
17:07You...Posei?
17:09That kid's his.
17:11No wonder the power's so pure.
17:13That's Poseidon's bloodline.
17:16If I stay, I'm dead.
17:24What the hell just happened?
17:26It ran?
17:27Damn, Leoya.
17:29Your powers are badass.
17:31You straight up scared the monster off.
17:33Me?
17:34No way.
17:34Even at full strength,
17:36I couldn't take that thing.
17:37I'm still recovering.
17:39Wait.
17:40Maybe it sensed the guardian of this sea vault?
17:44Whatever.
17:45Let's get home.
17:46That thing might circle back.
17:51About that monster.
17:57Failed at the perfect time?
17:59Figures.
18:00He's just a regular guy, after all.
18:03That's over.
18:05And now...
18:08How are you?
18:10Yeah!
18:10Ready!
18:15Good play!
18:16Yeah!
18:22I'm kidding.
18:42My liege, have mercy.
18:45I didn't know she was your daughter, I swear it.
18:47Please, spare my life.
18:49No problem.
18:50Thank you, my lord.
18:51Thank you for your mercy.
18:52Try to remember that in your next life.
19:07Enjoying the show.
19:18My king!
19:19We had nothing to do with the Hydra, we swear!
19:21Listen to me.
19:22If any of you take one step near my daughter again, I will skin you alive.
19:29Now, get the fuck out of my sight.
19:31Yes!
19:32Yes, my liege!
19:44My love, since you refused to tell me who did this to you, I'll just have to dig up the
19:50truth myself.
19:59That wild god Pan's always pulling power grabs.
20:02But Poseidon?
20:04Guy's long gone.
20:05Probably fish food in some trench, right?
20:08Sea god myth, ancient history.
20:10Wanna bet?
20:11There ain't no sea king anymore!
20:24The world's the same as ever.
20:26The dead are louder than the living.
20:29Who the hell are you?
20:30You're in Hades territory, asshole!
20:43Poseidon?
20:45Poseidon?
20:54Is Hades still breathing?
20:55If he is, tell him to get his ass out here.
21:02Who the fuck is tearing up my domain?
21:10I don't have time for this.
21:12I'm not wasting it on you.
21:13I need a background check.
21:19You know who I am?
21:21Hades is ace.
21:23You crash my spot, you die here!
21:26You crash my spot, you die here!
21:47Little fish.
21:56Headed staff?
21:58One shot?
21:59The sea king?
22:00He's real.
22:03Hades?
22:04You hiding?
22:05Come out!
22:06Or this whole place turns into driftwood.
22:10One!
22:11Two!
22:16Thank the fates!
22:17The boss is here!
22:23Boss!
22:24This bum!
22:30You idiot!
22:32Piss off the Lord of the Oceans and we all drown.
22:34You're done.
22:35Get out!
22:36In front of Poseidon.
22:38Your ants.
22:39I'm saving your worthless heights.
22:45My lord.
22:47Is this handling satisfactory?
22:48Actually, I'm not here for fun.
22:51I'm not here for fun.
22:51Dig up everything on that Leora and her daughter.
22:57Understood.
22:58I'll mobilize every team right now.
23:00You have three days.
23:01I'll be back.
23:06Everyone!
23:07Drop what you're doing!
23:08Full sweep on the Leora and child!
23:10Every resource.
23:12Every contact.
23:13Now!
23:13Tell them Poseidon's back!
23:15Yes, boss!
23:22Poseidon's back.
23:23Let's hope this time he doesn't flood the place just to make a point.
23:34Dylan wants the woman dead.
23:36Kid comes with us alive.
23:37She's still hurt.
23:38Easy pickets.
23:39Let's move.
23:52We'll make a nice stew.
23:54Surprise daddy for lunch?
24:02A forest nymph playing happy home mater?
24:06Pathetic.
24:09Who are you?
24:11Dylan's orders.
24:13Come quietly to the stronghold.
24:15Or I drag your corpse back.
24:18Mommy?
24:19Who's the ugly goat man?
24:22Hand over the kid!
24:26No!
24:31Stay away from my daughter!
24:33Don't you dare touch her!
24:35Mommy!
24:50Mommy!
24:51You're bleeding!
24:52This forest is locked down.
24:55Surrender now!
24:56I'll go with you.
24:58On one condition.
24:59Let my daughter go.
25:01No, mommy, I'm not leaving you.
25:14Kids mine, you die.
25:20You poisoned me?
25:24My poison fog.
25:25The more you fight, the faster it rots you from the inside.
25:30Give up!
25:31You've gone too far.
25:33Even if I die today, I'm not letting you win.
25:39You're wounded.
25:41Poisoned.
25:42Done.
25:44The kid's coming with me.
25:48Don't touch her!
25:49Come at me!
25:51Feisty one.
25:52Dylan wants you dead.
25:54But first, I'm going to have some fun.
26:03Such a pretty face.
26:06All mine now.
26:10Let my mommy go, you bastard!
26:19Lily, Lily, run!
26:22Get out of here!
26:27Serve me well, and I might let her run a little longer.
26:44That's enough!
26:46That's enough!
26:49Eddie?
26:51Eddie?
27:26Jack, what the hell just happened?
27:31You okay, babe?
27:33So you're the boyfriend.
27:35Too bad, I'll snap every bone in your body with one hand.
27:54Jack, keep Lily safe.
27:57Long as I'm here, you don't lose.
27:59Shut up and go.
28:00Now!
28:12If I pull this vine, the whole cliff goes with us, demon.
28:17Run all you want.
28:19My pack tears you both apart.
28:21Run all you want.
28:58Run all you want.
29:10Daddy, don't leave Mommy.
29:13I don't want to lose her.
29:14Shh, Lily.
29:15Don't cry.
29:16Daddy promises Mommy's going to be okay.
29:18We're going back for her right now.
29:23Hand over the kid.
29:25I'll make your death quick.
29:34Lily, turn around and cover your ears, okay?
29:40Daddy's going to do a little magic trick.
29:42Okay.
29:46You are the best.
29:56Some nobody dare stare me down?
29:58You're asking to die.
30:03You're not human.
30:04Who the hell are you?
30:06My daughter's here, so I'm keeping it clean.
30:09Disappear.
30:28Okay, Lily.
30:29Lily, you can turn around now.
30:34Daddy, what happened to the bad guy?
30:37He got so dazzled by how cute you are, he just passed out.
30:46Lily, stay right here inside this circle.
30:49Don't move.
30:50Daddy's going to help Mommy beat the bad guys.
30:52I'll be right back.
30:58Daddy, be careful.
31:01Don't worry, Lily.
31:03No one's ever beaten your dad.
31:10That poison's eating you alive, little nymph.
31:13How much longer you got?
31:15Let me have my fun first.
31:18So what?
31:19I'll drag you to hell with me before I die.
31:33Damn.
31:34You take a hit well.
31:36Let's enjoy this body.
31:38Then I'll turn you into my eternal trophy.
31:41For Jack and Lily, even if I die, I'm taking this beast down with me.
31:47No signal?
31:49You trying to hog the glory?
31:51More coming.
31:52Killing one won't save Jack and Lily.
31:54No choice.
31:55I'm taking them down with me.
31:57This the woman Dylan wants?
31:58Where the kid?
32:00Some guy took the brat.
32:03Useless.
32:04Grab her first, then we hunt the child.
32:10Just let Jack and Lily be safe.
32:16You all want to come at once?
32:18Then die together.
32:19Pick your graves.
32:32Why did you come back?
32:34Where's Lily?
32:38Lily's safe.
32:39Don't push yourself.
32:42So this is the woman's secret lover.
32:46Her taste is trash.
32:48Beg now.
32:49And maybe I'll leave your corpses in one piece.
32:52Refuse, and you'll be screaming.
32:55End it fast.
32:56Ah!
32:58You?
32:59In our eyes, you're not even an enemy.
33:02Just weeds to be crushed under feet.
33:05Just hold on a little longer.
33:07Jack means more to me than anything.
33:10I won't let him get hurt.
33:21You want my husband?
33:23Step over my corpse first!
33:26In a hurry to die?
33:27Fine!
33:28I'll oblige!
33:57You're half dead already!
34:00How the hell did you knock me back?
34:02The sea is sinking.
34:03Those are Poseidon's warriors!
34:06This...
34:07can't be.
34:33Ancient Ekathra?
34:34The coastal legend monster?
34:36Why would she be here?
34:40Ha ha ha!
34:41Our boss has real backing!
34:43He summoned three of Poseidon's elite guards!
34:46No matter how strong you are, kneel and beg!
34:50They're coming for us.
34:51We're finished.
34:53Don't worry, darling.
34:54Things might turn around.
34:55Lyra Vale has been captured.
34:57Now we await the Sea King's warriors to execute this peasant.
35:03They're here for me!
35:04Jack, stay behind me!
35:06With me here, no one touches you.
35:09Stop saying that, Jack!
35:10Look around!
35:11We're surrounded!
35:11We could actually die here!
35:18My lords!
35:20Let me teach this adulterous couple a lesson!
35:26You worthless creature!
35:29You shouldn't even exist where I stand!
35:39Who dares show such insolence before the Lord of the Sea?
35:55Mercy, my lord!
35:56We were just following orders!
35:58Dylan called the shots, not us!
36:01Dylan is just a rabid dog on Pan Vos' leash.
36:05We're not dying for that piece of shit.
36:06The Lord of the Deep is the only king.
36:09We're yours.
36:09Our lives are yours.
36:11Enough talk!
36:12Kill them!
36:13Kill?
36:15Us?
36:26My lord, please forgive us.
36:30I'm not done with you.
36:32Are you insane?
36:34Don't yell at them!
36:36I am so sorry.
36:39My husband is...
36:40He's just completely terrified.
36:42Please, don't mind him.
36:45It is...
36:46just fine.
36:55Wait, did they just call you my lord?
36:58Yeah, they're my bodyguards.
36:59Run errands for me sometimes.
37:01Quiet!
37:01This isn't a video game, Jack.
37:03If they kill us, you don't get to respawn.
37:05He never misses a chance to brag.
37:07That guardian of the sea must have stepped in again.
37:10I owe him more than I can ever repay.
37:13Those were scouts.
37:15The real army is coming.
37:17We're sitting ducks out here, Jack.
37:18We have to take Lily.
37:20And seek my father's protection.
37:24This is an amulet my father left me.
37:26It'll keep you safe when it matters.
37:27This war was never meant to involve you.
37:29I'm the one who dragged you into it.
37:32So I won't let you get hurt.
37:34This isn't that old bastard Hades' amulet.
37:36Damn.
37:37My brother turning into my father-in-law?
37:39Who the hell wrote this plan?
37:41It's way too Greek mythology.
37:42It's way too Greek mythology.
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