- 1 day ago
The Stupids 1996 [Full Movie] [Official Release]Full EP - Full
Category
🎥
Short filmTranscript
00:00:44Oh, I've got a feeling something special is going to happen today.
00:00:53Things to do today.
00:00:56Make check mark on paper.
00:01:00Cross item out.
00:01:02No time for that, I'm afraid.
00:01:05And finally say, that seems pretty senseless, but whatever.
00:01:12That seems pretty senseless, but whatever.
00:01:19That's odd.
00:01:25Joan, honey, did you put these trash cans on the curb?
00:01:28Oh, I left the trash out overnight.
00:01:34Oh, dear.
00:01:36Oh, no.
00:01:38Someone's stolen our garbage again.
00:01:45I just feel so awful about this.
00:01:49Darling, please.
00:01:50It's not your fault.
00:01:51It's the world we live in today.
00:01:53There are people out there for whom nothing is sacred.
00:01:56People who will steal a man's garbage week after week after week.
00:02:01We can get through it, honey.
00:02:02We'll borrow some garbage till we're back on our feet.
00:02:05Don't you see, Joan?
00:02:06That's exactly what they're counting on.
00:02:08Whoever keeps doing this knows that people like us will just sit back and take it.
00:02:12Darn it, I'm not going to take it anymore.
00:02:14Oh, Stanley, please, don't get involved.
00:02:16I already am involved, Joan.
00:02:19Someone is stolen from my family, and I will not rest until I bring them to justice.
00:03:10What does he want to do with daranuous numbers?
00:03:18How do you get your family?
00:03:21Oh, my God.
00:03:58What in the world?
00:04:45What in the world?
00:04:49What in the world?
00:04:49Four wheels.
00:04:52Eight wheels.
00:04:54All right, crooks.
00:04:56Now you've got Stanley Stupid on your trail.
00:05:15Good morning, Petunia.
00:05:17Good morning, Buster.
00:05:18Hey, sis, have you seen Dad?
00:05:20Isn't he sleeping?
00:05:21No, and he's not outside either.
00:05:23I got up early to walk my fish, and he was already gone.
00:05:27Do you think maybe he's been kidnapped?
00:05:30Oh, my God.
00:05:31We must go to the police station.
00:05:35Just as soon as we've left a note for Mom.
00:05:57Take this down.
00:06:00We have gone to the police.
00:06:05Police.
00:06:07Dad has been kidnapped.
00:06:11Kidnapped?
00:06:12Don't worry.
00:06:14We'll be back soon.
00:06:16Signed, your children.
00:06:24Let's move.
00:06:32Stanley?
00:06:34Buster?
00:06:36Petunia?
00:06:43Where is everybody?
00:06:53It's impossible.
00:06:54It can't be true.
00:07:00Hello?
00:07:01Hello.
00:07:01Is this Mrs. Stupid?
00:07:03Yes.
00:07:04I'm calling from the police station, Mrs. Stupid.
00:07:06We, uh, have your children here, ma'am.
00:07:10Oh, my God! It's true!
00:07:13The police have kidnapped my children!
00:07:36You two just sit tight.
00:07:38We'll have you home in a minute.
00:07:56We will continue!
00:08:00Yes, he's home!
00:08:09Yes!
00:08:18Hi!
00:08:23Bye!
00:08:23'Hi!"
00:08:23Bye!
00:08:24All right!
00:08:28Mom?
00:08:31Mom?
00:08:34Mom?
00:08:41Mom?
00:08:42It's no use. Mom's gone too.
00:08:45And we seem to be caught in a deadly game of cat and mouse.
00:09:03He left without even ringing the bell.
00:09:05Apparently, he only wanted us to find this.
00:09:11That's the Jade Palace.
00:09:13What does this have to do with Dad and Mom?
00:09:16I don't know, Petunia, but I think it's time we went there and found out.
00:09:28Friday, June 4th.
00:09:29Today, my world turned upside down.
00:09:32First, I discovered my husband missing.
00:09:35Then, I learned my children had been kidnapped by the police.
00:09:39Now, the fate of my family rests in my hands.
00:09:47Note to self.
00:09:48I must buy handheld tape recorder.
00:09:50Then, I will no longer be speaking into the garage door opener.
00:09:54Whoa!
00:10:02Some people can be so inconsiderate.
00:10:18Just the two of you?
00:10:19Why, yes.
00:10:22So, they have been expecting us.
00:10:34Oh, God.
00:10:58And what can I get for you?
00:11:00Oh, I think you've got a pretty good idea of what we're looking for.
00:11:05May I recommend the cashew chicken?
00:11:07You'll get your cash when we get our parents back.
00:11:10And don't call us chicken.
00:11:40Oh, no, the truck.
00:11:42It's gone.
00:11:44I've lost it.
00:11:45Now it could be anywhere.
00:11:48Finding it now would be like finding a needle in a haystack.
00:12:08It's always the last place you think of looking.
00:12:27I'll never get the hang of these things.
00:12:29Still no sign of Mom or Dad.
00:12:32I don't get it, Buster.
00:12:35Don't worry, Petunia.
00:12:36Whoever brought us here will contact us when the time is right.
00:12:48Buster, it's a message.
00:12:52Time flies when you're having fun.
00:12:55Time flies when you're having fun.
00:12:59Wait a minute.
00:13:00Isn't the Daily Times publish just a few blocks away from here?
00:13:04Yes!
00:13:04At the corner of Fun Street and Fly.
00:13:07No, it's Maple and Fifth.
00:13:09Close enough.
00:13:11Let's move.
00:13:19Okay, camouflage lesson number one.
00:13:22To look like a bush, you have to think like a bush.
00:13:28Okay, here I am just being a bush.
00:13:30Just growing and hanging out.
00:13:33Yes, this is a life for me.
00:13:36Sure is a lot of soil around here.
00:13:38A lot of sunshine, too.
00:13:40As a bush, I notice these things.
00:13:42Wait a minute.
00:13:43What's this?
00:13:45I have arms.
00:13:47I am a bush with arms.
00:13:50And legs.
00:13:52I am the first bush in history with legs.
00:13:56I can walk.
00:14:05Oh, gaze ye young believers upon this miracle.
00:14:08This walking bush.
00:14:09Half man, half plant.
00:14:11He dwells in two worlds, but is the master of both.
00:14:14Oh, man bush.
00:14:15You are nature's greatest wonder!
00:14:29Poor fools thought I was a bush.
00:14:34I'll lock up the bikes.
00:14:36You keep a lookout.
00:14:43Let's move.
00:14:56My children!
00:15:09Hey, what's the matter with you?
00:15:11Do we know how to climb?
00:15:12Hey, what's the matter with you?
00:15:14Tell her!
00:15:19Police.
00:15:21They recognize me.
00:15:22They're sure to kidnap me, too.
00:15:24What to do?
00:15:25Oh, my gosh.
00:15:39There must be thousands of people's garbage here.
00:15:42Tens of thousands, even.
00:15:44Why, the sheer organization necessary to pull off a heist like this?
00:15:49I've uncovered the crime of the century.
00:16:05Good day, officers.
00:16:12Yes.
00:16:15Good day, sir.
00:16:18Yes.
00:16:18Yes!
00:16:19How's the dokker about you?
00:16:49Is that everyone?
00:16:50Affirmative, sir. It's showtime.
00:17:04Welcome, gentlemen.
00:17:07I apologize for the unpleasantness of our surroundings.
00:17:11The setting was chosen for its seclusion, not its beauty.
00:17:17The weapons you are about to see are American-made.
00:17:21And, I humbly submit, the world's best.
00:17:35International law has long kept you from acquiring them.
00:17:38But as of now, I hope to help you overcome that.
00:17:41Lieutenant?
00:17:45The first piece of equipment we'd like to demonstrate is the Dragon anti-tank missile.
00:17:52Whether you want to foment revolution or suppress it, this hardware will help you get it done.
00:17:59Strange indeed are the workings of fate.
00:18:01How could I have known that today I would wander into the jaws of some kind of super crime?
00:18:08Pardon me.
00:18:11Chances are, my life is already in danger.
00:18:13Yet, I feel strangely, intensely alive.
00:18:16Every nerve is alert, every sense working overtime.
00:18:19Nothing escapes my eye.
00:18:24Excuse me.
00:18:28One journey has come to an end.
00:18:30But I've got a feeling the real adventure has just begun.
00:18:48Buster! Petunia!
00:18:51It's some kind of ape woman!
00:18:53Oh, no.
00:18:54It's me.
00:18:55Your mother.
00:18:56Your mother's some kind of ape woman?
00:18:59No, no.
00:19:00Children, it's a disguise.
00:19:05They're wings.
00:19:07Ah!
00:19:10Next up is an updated version of the .45 caliber personal side-on.
00:19:22I think you'll appreciate the increase in stopping power.
00:19:48I think you'll appreciate the increase in stopping power.
00:19:54Here we have the traditional M16 assault weapon with extra new capability.
00:20:00Not only will it fire...
00:20:02Excuse me.
00:20:03Got a pen I can borrow.
00:20:07See you then.
00:20:09Thank you very much.
00:20:12So, what's going on around here?
00:20:13Some kind of company picnic?
00:20:14Ben Boosh Bar!
00:20:16Why, that's a very festive name for it.
00:20:19Notice all that garbage out there?
00:20:21It's all stolen.
00:20:23There's something fishy going on.
00:20:25Frankly, our lives may already be in danger.
00:20:27Ben Boosh Bar!
00:20:29I hear you, pal.
00:20:30At first, I was pretty tongue-tied myself.
00:20:37Oh, Jerry, help.
00:20:38I need a new headline for the entertainment section.
00:20:41HBO has given the order for a pair of original outer space theme shows for the new season.
00:20:46Let's see.
00:20:47What a foul.
00:20:54Two alien pilots picked up by network.
00:20:57Perfect.
00:20:58I'm sending it.
00:21:02Hey!
00:21:02You guys!
00:21:03Give me a head in Metro, will ya?
00:21:04We're supposed to be in print five minutes ago.
00:21:11Psst!
00:21:12Psst!
00:21:13Over here!
00:21:13I found the computer!
00:21:18What have you got in mind, Petunia?
00:21:21A little ride on the information superhighway, Mom.
00:21:24In this age of microtechnology, the computer's our gateway to information.
00:21:29Now all we've gotta do is figure out the password.
00:21:40How about nose?
00:21:42It's worth a try.
00:21:46All right, computer.
00:21:48Now tell us everything we need to know about Stanley.
00:21:52Family.
00:21:55Stupid.
00:21:58Relax, soldier.
00:21:59A week from now, we'll both be wealthy men.
00:22:02I suppose so, sir.
00:22:04But I can't help wondering what our country would think of what we're doing.
00:22:09This year, our country refused my promotion, Lieutenant.
00:22:14They have only themselves to blame now.
00:22:21You really think we can pull this off?
00:22:26I gave my life to the military.
00:22:29Nothing's gonna stop me from getting something back.
00:22:35Sir!
00:22:36I think we have a potential situation on our hands.
00:22:38What is it, soldier?
00:22:40An individual, sir.
00:22:41He appears to have infiltrated the proceedings.
00:22:43As far as we can tell, he's not affiliated with any of the buyers.
00:22:46The CIA.
00:22:47We're probably already surrounded.
00:22:49Negative, sir.
00:22:49We scutted the area and he appears to be alone.
00:22:52Alone?
00:22:54Hmm.
00:22:55Just what kind of cowboy agent is this guy?
00:23:11No one is disturbing without my order.
00:23:15The buyers must not know anything is amiss.
00:23:18Understood, sir.
00:23:24If I know my business, the operative will contact us.
00:23:40To walk into a situation like this without support...
00:23:45This guy must be fearless.
00:23:47Yes.
00:23:48Yes.
00:23:57And very, very smart.
00:24:03Business?
00:24:04Weather?
00:24:05Sports?
00:24:06What is it trying to tell us?
00:24:08It's computer jargon, Mom.
00:24:10It's like a whole different language.
00:24:13Now hand me a photo of Dad and let's see what we can find out.
00:24:21It's processing the data.
00:24:27What does it say?
00:24:29Fatal error drive B.
00:24:31Oh, my God!
00:24:33What does it mean?
00:24:34I don't know.
00:24:35We've got to warn your father.
00:24:45Watch out!
00:24:45Let's go!
00:24:49We'd better get out of here!
00:24:50Let's go!
00:24:54Hey, hey, hey!
00:24:55We've got to warn you!
00:25:04We've got to warn you!
00:25:07Our bikes are gone!
00:25:12And the cops have surrounded my car!
00:25:14Run for your lives!
00:25:19Oh, my God.
00:25:48Oh, my God.
00:26:24Oh, my God.
00:26:38Oh, my God.
00:27:01Hello, Akbar.
00:27:05O'Donato.
00:27:10Adios, amigo.
00:27:11Auf Wiedersehen.
00:27:17Hi, Stanley Stupid.
00:27:19Oh.
00:27:20Honored to make your acquaintance, Mr. Stupid.
00:27:23You must be a highly skilled investigator to have discovered all of this.
00:27:27Well, actually, I knew I was on the trail of some pretty crafty thieves, but I had no idea there
00:27:31was gonna be this much garbage out here.
00:27:34You are clearly an agent of enormous talents.
00:27:38It's a shame the government will never reward you as richly as you deserve.
00:27:43No, the government doesn't even know I'm here.
00:27:45Ah, and that's why you've approached me, isn't it? To come and get your share, one way or another?
00:27:52Actually, mister, I've approached you because I need a car.
00:27:55Lieutenant, give our friend the keys to my car.
00:28:00A gift to the gifted.
00:28:04Well, thank you very much. That's incredibly generous.
00:28:06Thanks a lot.
00:28:08Appreciate it.
00:28:11And to think I just wanted to ride back to town.
00:28:17Thanks, everybody. I'll see ya!
00:28:27Talk about nerves of steel. Completely surrounded and he didn't even blink.
00:28:32We bought him off for now, sir. But what's to stop him from turning us in anyway?
00:28:36You are, soldier. Without disturbing our clients, follow. Then terminate the target with extreme prejudice.
00:28:43Yes, sir.
00:28:49Meaning?
00:28:50Kill him.
00:28:52All right.
00:29:00Boy, you never realize how many policemen there are until the day they turn against you.
00:29:06This is the biggest emergency of our lives. And we can't even call 9-1-1.
00:29:12A crisis like this calls for even higher authority.
00:29:14Mom, dial 10-1-1.
00:29:18I'm afraid that's not good enough, children. Your father's life is on the line.
00:29:24I'm calling 75,496-11.
00:29:37Yeah?
00:29:38Hello. My name is Joan Stupid. I'm a housewife and I desperately need your help.
00:29:42Yeah, let me guess, lady. You've had a hectic day running around trying to take care of the kids and
00:29:46now you're panicked because your husband's too home.
00:29:49That's right.
00:29:50Yeah, and you haven't had time to cook dinner, right?
00:29:53That's right, too.
00:29:56Yeah, I hear it every day of the week. What you need is our family special. What's your address?
00:30:0155 Maple Street.
00:30:04And does your family like coleslaw?
00:30:06Yes.
00:30:07That's all the information I need. You can relax, dear. We'll have you taken care of in less than an
00:30:12hour.
00:30:12Bless you.
00:30:15No need to worry, kids. The most sophisticated emergency response team in the world is working with us now.
00:30:22Interestingly enough, their strategy involves coleslaw.
00:30:29Hello?
00:30:32Hi, honey. It's Bea.
00:30:34Oh, Stanley. Darling, are you alright?
00:30:37I'm fine. But you won't believe the things I've uncovered.
00:30:40Stanley, listen to me closely. You must beware of the drive B.
00:30:46What's the drive B?
00:30:49We don't know. But any error you make with it could be fatal.
00:30:53Just as I suspected. My life may already be in jeopardy.
00:31:11What are you saying, Stanley? There must be some kind of interference.
00:31:14Hold on. I'll turn down the radio.
00:31:15Let's go.
00:31:21Oops.
00:31:26Ah!
00:31:28Hot!
00:31:29Hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot!
00:31:34Uh-oh!
00:31:36Uh-oh!
00:31:40Oh, hot!
00:31:42Whoa!
00:31:46Is there something about Dad that you're not telling us?
00:31:49Something about his past that would help explain what's going on?
00:31:57Children, I suppose you're old enough to know the truth.
00:32:01And the truth is, your father once worked inside the system.
00:32:08You mean...
00:32:09That's right, Petunia.
00:32:11Stanley Stupid was a courier for the U.S. government.
00:32:16At first, it seemed like the perfect job.
00:32:21Every day brought new and fascinating challenges.
00:32:25Oh, great!
00:32:29There you go.
00:32:36Five, three, seven.
00:32:42Five, three, seven.
00:32:47Whoo!
00:33:01Five, four, seven.
00:33:04Five, seven.
00:33:08Five, seven.
00:33:21Five, seven.
00:33:22Five, seven.
00:33:27One day,
00:33:28One day the father discovered something thank you
00:33:50That's odd
00:33:55Coming
00:34:05What is it now Stanley something very strange sir
00:34:08Seems like an incredible amount of letters are being delivered to somebody named sender
00:34:13Who is this sender and what is he doing with other people's mail? I?
00:34:19Believe that this calls for a full-scale investigation
00:34:25The next day he was fired
00:34:28They never told him why
00:34:31But of course he knew too much and my instinct tells me we haven't seen the last of mr.
00:34:39Sender
00:34:49Is the target neutralized?
00:34:51I'm afraid not sir
00:34:52It seems the enemy repelled our assault team with extreme defensive aggression
00:34:57In a
00:34:59Blowing up their car manner sir
00:35:02So he has some combat skills to back up his bravado
00:35:06Who do we have from special ops?
00:35:08McClellan trained with the SOF sir
00:35:10Give him the assignment
00:35:11Let's see how our friend handles a veteran assassin
00:35:14Lets see how our friend knows
00:35:44ready it's high time i got myself another tattoo
00:35:51just make sure you do it clean you can't afford to leave a trail of clues you'll never know what
00:35:57hit him did you know have a hole in your gas tank actually that's how you get the gas in
00:36:02it
00:36:02listen why don't you top her off i'm gonna go freshen up
00:36:24so
00:36:30so
00:36:43oh
00:36:55thank you for the excellent service old timer
00:37:04oh
00:37:09oh
00:37:15oh
00:37:16oh
00:37:17oh
00:37:17oh
00:37:29well i'm afraid
00:37:31it's bad news don't tell me he took out mcclellan too it's uncanny sir i've watched him dispatch
00:37:37assailants effortlessly with techniques that that defy description who's our explosives expert
00:37:44that would be martinez sir give him the assignment and everything he needs to pull it off
00:37:49i want it done surgical and i want it done now
00:37:53god's sake we're military men killing people is supposed to be our job
00:38:28god's sake we're military men killing people is supposed to be our job
00:38:40go on please leave me alone
00:38:54what are you trying to do you darn bee can't you see i'm trying to drive
00:38:57oh my god the drive bee
00:39:10fight deadly fight for your life
00:39:12fight for your life
00:39:12fight for your life
00:39:20the tables have turned
00:39:23the hunter becomes the hunted
00:39:34mission accomplished no one could survive that blast
00:39:43now that's a well-made shoe
00:39:54here's your fare and a little extra for yourself
00:39:56thank you sir what's the occasion it's just good to be home
00:40:09home
00:40:11you never know how much it means to you till you go away
00:40:18what are you doing to my grass muster is that you
00:40:25have i been away so long you live next door stanley please call me dad
00:40:30dad
00:40:34this day keeps getting stranger and stranger we find ourselves today at the center of a puzzle
00:40:41at first all is confusing but as the pieces come together patterns emerge before long we could see
00:40:48the sinister face of conspiracy and it all begins with a man named
00:41:06mr sender
00:41:26Lettuce.
00:41:28Easier to open than pistachios.
00:41:31What's inside is more delicious.
00:41:37If you still love me, Sally, tie a ribbon round the old oak tree.
00:41:44I'm afraid the only thing that's going to be hanging from that tree is you, Bob.
00:41:57Poor Jenny Miller.
00:42:01Nobody coming to her wedding.
00:42:10This postal ploy of yours is the most evil caper of our age, Mr. Sender.
00:42:15How will you ever top yourself?
00:42:16Well, with a crime so unthinkable that no one has ever dared to attempt it.
00:42:22To rob an entire nation of its garbage.
00:42:26The one resource no one ever thinks to protect.
00:42:29Yet, without it, every hefty bag, every trash compactor, every rubbish bin in America will be useless.
00:42:37Desperate men will roam the streets with empty waste baskets.
00:42:41Panic and chaos will rule the land.
00:42:44The precious balance of civilization will be destroyed.
00:42:49And then, the world will come begging for mercy.
00:42:54To me.
00:42:58Your job is to kidnap anyone who discovers my diabolical plan.
00:43:06Including children.
00:43:13This fiendishness must be stopped.
00:43:26It's not all battle to fight, Johnson.
00:43:29We've got enough trouble getting soy sauce into these tiny packets.
00:43:32Maybe we can't stop Sender.
00:43:34But I know someone who can.
00:43:35A bright fellow I worked with in the postal service.
00:43:39Are the guards posted out front?
00:43:41Only the best.
00:43:50Well, no one suspects a thing, Mr. Sender.
00:43:53Unless that bush has ears.
00:44:03The joke's on you, my friends.
00:44:07Bad news, sir.
00:44:09Stanley's stupid has discovered our secret.
00:44:11At last, a foe worthy of matching wits with.
00:44:16Release the dry feet.
00:44:35The fire's Woche who fights his remedy.
00:44:38On the back of our secretLife, this nerd.come
00:44:42on to win.
00:44:53So you see, it all begins with Mr. Sender.
00:45:01The police are against us, and obviously we can't go to the press.
00:45:05What are we going to do, Stanley?
00:45:08We've got to take on Sender ourselves.
00:45:12Oh, it won't be easy finding him, scouring the countryside for microscopic clues,
00:45:17following trails that are long since cold,
00:45:20sensing him always nearby, yet somehow maddeningly beyond our grasp.
00:45:25Hey, there's a Charles Sender listed right here in this phone book.
00:45:30The manhunt begins.
00:45:46The car won't start.
00:45:47Maybe the battery's dead.
00:45:49It was perfectly healthy this afternoon.
00:45:51Well, then maybe it's got some life left in it.
00:45:53I better give it mouth-to-mouth.
00:46:04Not now, Kitty.
00:46:06I've got a battery to revive.
00:46:17Wait a minute.
00:46:17What am I doing?
00:46:19I've cooked up some insane conspiracy theory
00:46:21and put myself in the middle of an illegal weapons deal
00:46:23with some of the world's most dangerous men.
00:46:25I've risked my life and the lives of my family
00:46:27in a scheme that makes absolutely no sense at all.
00:46:34Insight fading.
00:46:36I must remember not to go forward with this.
00:46:39What is it, Stanley?
00:46:40What are you supposed to remember?
00:46:45Um, I don't know.
00:46:55Let's go, everybody.
00:46:56We've got a job to do.
00:47:14Hey, what about the delivery?
00:47:16You can't just order food and run off like that!
00:47:21You have insulted the dignity of Floyd's delicatessen.
00:47:37You're sure this is the place?
00:47:38Oh, yes.
00:47:39When I called Cinder's home,
00:47:41his wife said that he works here.
00:47:44Oh, likely story.
00:47:57Okay, Joan.
00:47:58You and Buster searched that end of the building.
00:48:01Petunia and I will take this in.
00:48:02And remember, everybody,
00:48:04use your heads.
00:48:05You and Buster's home.
00:48:06Let's go around.
00:48:08I'll take this in.
00:48:10What about you and Buster?
00:48:34Let's go around.
00:48:34Let's go around.
00:48:35Let's go around.
00:48:38Oh, my God.
00:49:07I found his headquarters, and I've stumbled upon his winger's laboratory.
00:49:21Careful, Petunia. One false move and we could end up dead.
00:49:30Dad?
00:49:32Petunia?
00:49:33Everything's gone dark. I can't see a thing.
00:49:37Oh my God, it's happened.
00:49:41We're dead.
00:49:43I knew it!
00:49:57So, this is heaven.
00:49:59It's quite lovely, really.
00:50:04Funny, isn't it? One minute you're tracking down the head of a global conspiracy, and the next minute, poof. It's
00:50:11all over.
00:50:13Sure puts things in perspective.
00:50:16You know who I miss the most? Mom and Buster.
00:50:21Don't worry, honey. They'll be joining us soon enough. The way your mom drives.
00:50:27Hello? Somebody in here?
00:50:31Dad, someone's coming.
00:50:34You think?
00:50:37Yes, Petunia.
00:50:39It's time to meet our creator.
00:50:48Hail to thee, O Lord.
00:50:51Actually, it's pronounced Lloyd.
00:50:56All these years we've been saying it wrong.
00:50:58Come on.
00:51:06So...
00:51:07This is the face of evil.
00:51:26And this is the diary of his twisted schemes.
00:51:39Dates.
00:51:40Dates.
00:51:41Numbers.
00:51:42Years.
00:51:44What in the world?
00:51:48Buster, come on. I found out where Sender's going next.
00:51:52Just a minute, Mom. I've discovered a mysterious room here.
00:51:56There's a strange looking clock over the top of it.
00:52:02And a control panel with a bunch of numbers.
00:52:05One would almost think it's some kind of...
00:52:07Time machine.
00:52:15Mom! Help!
00:52:17Buster, no!
00:52:28What buttons did you press?
00:52:30I don't know.
00:52:31Just a bunch of random numbers in the letters BC.
00:52:34Oh, my God.
00:53:03We've traveled back to the age of the dinosaurs.
00:53:14It's just so amazing to meet you at last.
00:53:17Well, thank you.
00:53:18It's nice to meet someone who appreciates the work I do.
00:53:22Appreciates it?
00:53:23Why, you're the one that takes care of the entire universe.
00:53:26But you'd be surprised how little thanks I get for it.
00:53:28Most people don't even know I exist.
00:53:32This is the single most fantastic journey in the history of the world.
00:53:42Keep your voice down, son.
00:53:44If one of these things wakes up, we're in real trouble.
00:53:47You look absolutely starved.
00:54:02Hey, look, Mom.
00:54:04The cape of some pretty starved peoples.
00:54:13They're tools seeming to be fashioned over primitive styrofoam.
00:54:17We've got to be careful, Buster.
00:54:19The slightest disturbance to this ancient world could affect the entire course of history.
00:54:25Yes.
00:54:27The entire course of history.
00:54:36What are you doing?
00:54:42Just think, my name is now the first word ever written.
00:54:47This rock will be the most sacred mystery on earth.
00:54:50Buster, snap out of it.
00:54:52When mankind learns to read, I'll be worshipped.
00:54:57Nations will rise and fall in my name.
00:55:01Life on earth, there'll be nothing but a footnote to Buster.
00:55:07We've got to get out of here.
00:55:10Not to be disrespectful, but I feel that perhaps we've come here too early.
00:55:14The truth is the two of you shouldn't be here at all.
00:55:17You mean you're sending us back into the world?
00:55:19I'm afraid so.
00:55:21But don't get me wrong.
00:55:22It's been a pleasure talking to you.
00:55:24But there's work to be done.
00:55:26So our crusade against the world's injustice is important.
00:55:29Just head through the door marked exit.
00:55:32Take you back to where your car is parked.
00:55:34Did you hear that, Petunia?
00:55:36We're getting a second chance.
00:55:37Hooray!
00:55:41Do you have any finer words for us before we go?
00:55:44Well, if you want to make my job easier,
00:55:47remember, throw your gum in the trash when you're done chewing.
00:55:51I spend a huge amount of my time cleaning up gum.
00:55:54So long as we live, we shall fight that wrong.
00:56:08Sorry, Mom. I sort of went mad with power back there.
00:56:12Well, the most important thing is you made it.
00:56:16Mom! Buster!
00:56:19Joan! Buster!
00:56:23Dad! Petunia!
00:56:25Stanley! Petunia!
00:56:30You've made it!
00:56:32Are you all right? How did it go in there?
00:56:35Well, Joan, we had a remarkable 20 minutes.
00:56:37We died, went to heaven, met God, and got brought back to life.
00:56:42But still, no sign of sender.
00:56:44What happened to you guys?
00:56:46We traveled through time to the age of dinosaurs,
00:56:48and Buster established himself as the most important
00:56:51and mysterious figure in history.
00:56:53Buster?
00:56:54Sorry, Dad.
00:56:56And even more importantly, we found this.
00:57:02Names, places, dates, times.
00:57:06Wait a minute.
00:57:07There's an entry in here for today.
00:57:09Channel 3 News at 1 o'clock.
00:57:11We passed the Channel 3 News Station on the way over here.
00:57:15And it's almost 1 now.
00:57:16The trail is still fresh.
00:57:18Let's go.
00:57:40Let's go!
00:57:45we're here
00:57:55somewhere in this building is the man we're looking for let's find him before he finds us
00:58:11good news today for culture buffs a new exhibit arrives today at the museum of natural history
00:58:16and here to tell us about the highlights is museum director charles sender welcome thank you thank
00:58:22you you know if you love pre-columbian sculpture much as i do you are in for a real surprise
00:58:29because in less than an hour i will be picking up a stunning collection of olmec heads on loan from
00:58:36museums all over the world now i understand it's exhibits like this that have given our museum
00:58:42its most profitable year ever you must be a very sought-after curator yes sometimes i feel like a
00:58:49hunted man try your best to blend in petonia remember we can't afford to get caught oh excuse me i'm
00:59:00looking for the set of the late at night show excuse me i'm looking for the set of the late
00:59:03at night
00:59:04show i'm supposed to be making a delivery there i'm supposed to be making a delivery there
00:59:07could you give this to doug the stage hand i'd be so grateful he's a big fat guy you can't
00:59:11miss him
00:59:11here this will get you backstage i really appreciate this
00:59:22i'm sorry they're taping a tv show no one gets in without proper authorization
00:59:27oh now this way please
00:59:34keep your eyes peeled for anything unusual son mr cinder can't be far away
00:59:39just watch for the slightest sign of strange behavior
00:59:41dad
00:59:44they're putting makeup on men in there
00:59:47bullseye
00:59:55are they ready ready when you are then let's go everyone we're on
01:00:07okay let's go
01:00:12yeah but spy's a lot taller now you know people think it's really easy being a celebrity but when
01:00:18they canceled my series malibu beach detective i was just absolutely devastated
01:00:29well i'm sure everyone is very sympathetic for you you put so much work into such a fine series to
01:00:35have it taken off the air as an artist i was truly crushed
01:00:44it was the most awful heartbreaking shocking thing that's ever happened to me
01:00:58mom i can't get this light switched to work
01:01:01mom i can't get this light
01:01:02just a moment dear
01:01:08okay now let's take a look
01:01:19well maybe you'd all be happier if there was no primetime television
01:01:22in. What's going on? You can spend every night reading books together.
01:01:52Well, my next guest is a world-class French chef. So stay tuned, everyone, and let's
01:01:58give it to the fat guy.
01:02:26Okay, let's settle everybody. We're on in five, four, three. Have you ever thought you came
01:02:34from an unusual family? Well, after you meet my guest today, you may want to adjust
01:02:38your standards. I divorced my wife in order to date her daughter.
01:02:49I married a Siamese twin and had an affair with her sister.
01:02:56I've been engaged to three of my cousins.
01:03:04I'm... well, to tell you the truth,
01:03:10I'm... I'm my own grandpa.
01:03:12You're your own grandpa?
01:03:14That's right.
01:03:16Well, for those of us who've never heard of such a thing, maybe you could explain.
01:03:20Of course. It's quite simple, really.
01:03:22Many, many years ago when I was twenty-three, I was married to a widow who was pretty as
01:03:29could be. This widow had a grown-up daughter who had hair of red. My father fell in love
01:03:35with her and soon they too were wed. This made my dad my son-in-law and changed my very
01:03:40life.
01:03:40For my daughter was my mother cause she was my father's wife. To complicate the matter, even
01:03:46though it brought me joy, I soon became the father of a bouncing baby boy. My little baby
01:03:53then became a brother-in-law to dad. And so became my uncle, though it made me very sad.
01:03:59For if he was my uncle, then that also made him brother. To the widow's grown-up daughter,
01:04:04who, of course, was my stepmother.
01:04:07That was our banker in Bern. Payments will be transferred to our account when we deliver
01:04:12the hardware. In approximately two hours. Nothing left to do but relax, Lieutenant. No power
01:04:19on earth can stop us now.
01:04:22I'm my own grandpa. I'm my own grandpa. It's impossible. We killed that man. For
01:04:32God's sake, kill him again. Our future is in his hands.
01:04:36My father's wife then had a son who kept him on the run. And he became my grandchild cause
01:04:42he was my daughter's son. My wife is now my mother's mother and it makes me blue. Because
01:04:48although she is my wife, she's my grandmother too. If my wife is my grandmother, then I am
01:04:53her grandchild. And every time I think of it, it nearly drives me wild. This has got to
01:04:59be the strangest thing I ever saw. As husband of my grandmother, I am my own grandpa. I'm
01:05:07my own grandpa. Everybody! I'm my own grandpa. It's so funny, I know, but it really is so.
01:05:16Hey! I'm my own grandpa. Stay tuned, everybody. We'll be right back after this break.
01:05:29Thanks again for coming to the station, Mr. Sender. It was a pleasure, I assure you. Bye-bye.
01:05:36Cender! We meet at last.
01:05:40No time to chat, I'm afraid. I'm taking over the heads of a dozen foreign countries.
01:05:50I got it! His plans for world domination are already coming together.
01:05:58You know what's strange, Dad? I would have thought a man as powerful as Cender would be surrounded
01:06:04by bodyguards. You can't see them, Buster, but they're here. Ready to pounce on anyone who
01:06:09so much as utters the words, I'll get you yet, Cender. Whoa!
01:06:13Hey, let's go of my dad! Whoa! Buster! What happened? It's Cender's men. They captured Dad.
01:06:34So where are we going, fellas? Fasten your seatbelts.
01:07:10You're a clever man, Mr. Stupid. If that really is your name, too clever for your own good.
01:07:22And you play the innocent most convincingly. You thought you'd fool me into thinking you were dead,
01:07:29and then you'd catch me red-handed when I went to make the sale. A masterful bit of strategy,
01:07:36and you came dangerously close to pulling it off. We better get going, sir. We're due at Warehouse 21
01:07:44in less than an hour. Warehouse 21? No use gathering intelligence now, my friend.
01:07:49Our little chess game is over.
01:07:54I hope you won't find the end game too unpleasant.
01:07:59I'm sorry, ma'am. There's nothing I can do.
01:08:18It's no use. They won't let anyone onto that army base unless they're in the army.
01:08:22This is serious. Dad's in danger. I gotta think of something. What if we form our own army? To do
01:08:30that,
01:08:30we'd have to form our own country. We could call it stupidia. A sovereign nation with its own laws,
01:08:36its own customs, its own government. Mom, mother of this household,
01:08:40your leadership has stood the test of time. I'd like to nominate you as president.
01:08:46To the polls, everyone. Get this over with already, would you? This guy's already taken out
01:08:50three of our best. Relax. His hands are tied. He's unarmed. We've got two guards posted outside.
01:09:01I've got a gun on him. There's no way he's leaving here alive. Isn't that right, Mr. Stupid?
01:09:12Remember, throw your gum in the trash when you're done chewing it. I spend a huge amount of my time
01:09:17cleaning up gum. In the name of the Lloyd. Oh, geez. All right. Get your hands up.
01:09:45Thank you, dear Lloyd. The polls are dead even. Give or take a vote.
01:09:54Only we knew who Dad was voting for. Joan! Joan! Congratulations, Mom. Thank you, everyone.
01:10:03And as your president, I appoint Stanley Stupid, head of the army.
01:10:10Your first duty is to go onto that army base and rescue my husband.
01:10:14And get our dad while you're at it. I'm afraid those two will just have to wait.
01:10:17We've got to get to a place called Warehouse 21. Joan, give me the keys.
01:10:30The car won't start. Dad, you and Mom, switch places.
01:10:51Mom, hand the keys to Dad.
01:10:54Mom, hand the keys to Dad.
01:11:08Mom, hand the keys to Dad.
01:11:25This must be the place.
01:11:47Well, what have we here?
01:12:03Mom, hand the keys to Dad.
01:12:21Don't do the occasionally use the horse.
01:12:38Look at me in Spanish.
01:12:40If you are a bad man, you guys can see the old man in Spanish.
01:12:44I want to see you.
01:12:45Stop it.
01:13:02Excuse me, everyone.
01:13:03May I have your attention, please?
01:13:11Impossible.
01:13:12He's amazing.
01:13:14Before you unleash strife and warfare upon this planet,
01:13:17please look into your hearts.
01:13:21No guns.
01:13:23Inside, you're still human beings.
01:13:25You can change your ways.
01:13:29You all can come back for the dark side.
01:13:34You send a squad of men towards the eastern flank of the warehouse.
01:13:37You organize a counter to the left.
01:13:40Your men will back the first two squads while my men rove on point.
01:13:45But he's the only one of men.
01:13:47Trust me.
01:13:48You don't want to underestimate him.
01:13:52So turn yourselves in, everyone.
01:13:54My family and I did not wish to fight you.
01:13:57But if you do not give up, you will leave us no choice.
01:14:01Are they giving up?
01:14:03No.
01:14:04As a matter of fact, they seem to be organizing some sort of massive attack.
01:14:08I guess they want to do things the hard way.
01:14:14They seem pretty well armed, Dad.
01:14:17Yes, Buster, but so are we.
01:14:18Oh, they may have knives and guns and missiles and bombs.
01:14:21But we're armed with the fact that what we're doing is right.
01:14:24Sometimes you have to trust in that.
01:14:34Let the final showdown begin.
01:14:44Don't!
01:15:01Get him!
01:15:11Left, right, right!
01:15:16Left! Right! Right!
01:15:25Left! Left! Left!
01:15:27Left! No, no, the other left!
01:15:35I got him!
01:15:39Left! No, no!
01:15:52Take your time, man. He's unarmed.
01:15:56Or am I?
01:16:03Aha!
01:16:10Aha!
01:16:23I'm stuck! I'm caught! I'm trapped! Somebody help me out here!
01:16:27I'm cornered!
01:16:28Yes! That's the word I'm looking for! I'm cornered!
01:16:31I'll save you, Dad!
01:16:46I'll save you, Dad!
01:16:49No, no, no!
01:17:07I'll save you, Dad!
01:17:08I'll save you, Dad!
01:17:12I'll save you, Dad!
01:17:13of mind over matter.
01:17:21Channel every ounce of willpower.
01:17:25It's working.
01:17:27I've done it.
01:17:28Behold the superhuman strength of Buster.
01:17:32Huh?
01:17:39Buster!
01:18:05Buster!
01:18:06Sorry, Dad.
01:18:08What the hell was that?
01:18:10Sounds to me like it came from the warehouse district.
01:18:13Woo!
01:18:22Let her out.
01:18:26Come on.
01:18:38Buster!
01:18:39Stanley!
01:18:40Please be careful out there. There are lots of little fires burning all over the place now
01:19:07This is the worst fire extinguisher I've ever seen
01:19:10Oh
01:19:46How lovely
01:19:54Car 15 request backup send squad cars immediately to warehouse 21. Car 15 we are on our way
01:20:01Oh great
01:20:02Fine
01:20:03Just great
01:20:10Get out of here
01:20:31Got to get out of here
01:20:32Not to worry lieutenant
01:20:33The police are on my side
01:20:35As far as they know
01:20:40How do I look
01:20:43Quite convincing sir
01:20:44But what about me
01:20:46You my friend
01:20:50Are on the wrong side of the law
01:20:51Sir
01:20:55Get some cops over here
01:20:56I got the ring later
01:21:05Shoot to kill boys
01:21:07Those are evil men in there
01:21:16You've got to let me through officer the cargo I'm transporting is extremely cultural
01:21:21I'm sorry sir but no one's getting through here at the moment
01:21:24Oh my
01:21:25I guess I'll have to find another route home
01:21:28In the meantime
01:21:28Could you please just pull your vehicle over there with the rest of the cars
01:21:31Yes sir
01:21:32Oh Stanley you were so brave in there
01:21:38And look
01:21:39The police are on our side again
01:21:40Come on
01:21:42Keep moving
01:21:42I, I, I, I, I
01:21:44Can't lie
01:21:46Move it, move it
01:21:47Move it, move it
01:21:48Yes our work here is done
01:21:50But before we go there's a certain arch villain I'd like to speak to
01:21:53I have a feeling he learned a pretty important lesson today
01:22:01Well my friend
01:22:02It seems you lost
01:22:04I certainly am
01:22:06The problem is you took the wrong road right from the start
01:22:09Can you help get me back on the right path?
01:22:13Yes I can
01:22:14But it won't be easy
01:22:16You've got to turn yourself around
01:22:18You've got to straighten out
01:22:20But as long as you can remember to head towards the light
01:22:24You'll never go wrong
01:22:27Thanks
01:22:27You've really saved me
01:22:30Until we meet again
01:22:42It's been quite a day
01:22:46And I have to say that I'm glad it's finally over
01:22:51I'm afraid it's not over yet
01:22:56You must think you have some kind of guardian angel Stanley
01:23:00You thought you could take me on and pay no price
01:23:03Destroy my future
01:23:04And then slip through my fingers again and again
01:23:09Well not this time bucko
01:23:13This time I'm going to take care of you myself
01:23:17Where's your guardian angel now?
01:23:22Bet you're surprised to see me
01:23:24We certainly are
01:23:25I'm very impressed I might add
01:23:27Well let this be a lesson to you
01:23:29Nobody gets away from me
01:23:30I've been on the job too long
01:23:32Here's your bill
01:23:41I would have thought guardian angels work free
01:23:43Oh Joan
01:23:45You're so wonderfully nice
01:23:50I assume you work for the Lloyd?
01:23:53Me?
01:23:54No, my boss's name is Floyd
01:23:56No
01:23:58It's pronounced Lloyd
01:24:08Hey, neighbor
01:24:10Hey, Stanley
01:24:11Didn't see you around much this weekend
01:24:12What you been doing?
01:24:14Ah, this and that
01:24:14Had breakfast
01:24:16Read the paper
01:24:16Saved the world
01:24:18Oh, is that right?
01:24:19Say, today I thought we'd have a little barbecue
01:24:21Why don't you stop by?
01:24:22There's plenty for everyone
01:24:23Well, thanks Stanley
01:24:24But I left the water running in my bathtub
01:24:40Where has it alight
01:24:42Can I eat that in my bathtub
01:24:46Why don't you go?
01:24:48Well, thanks, Holies
01:24:49What is political?
01:24:54or what not he never wants
01:24:55He can't find them
01:24:56That is right
01:25:07Hello?
01:25:10Hello?
01:25:29This is going to be great, Dad.
01:25:31Say, how can I help?
01:25:33You can flip the burger, son, but I better handle the lighter fluid.
01:25:37See? Keep out of reach of children.
01:25:39Right there. You've got to be careful.
01:25:49What is it, boy?
01:25:54What is it, kitty?
01:26:12Are you hungry?
01:26:14Do you want a biscuit?
01:26:20That poor dog doesn't know what he wants sometimes.
01:26:22Whoo!
01:26:24Whoa!
01:26:28Oh!
01:26:38Poor!
01:26:39Yeah!
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