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The Burbs S01E01 [Full Movie] [Watch Free Online]Full EP - Full
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00:28Transcription by CastingWords
00:58Transcription by CastingWords
01:28Transcription by CastingWords
01:30Oh God, I don't want to go back to work.
01:32You and Mars aren't going to have too much fun without me, are you?
01:34My maternity leave is going to be spent watching a window like Bravo,
01:38learning the choreography.
01:44I don't like that one bit.
01:50Stroll's over.
01:56Are you sure that house is empty?
01:58Yeah, right.
03:01Then I look at you
03:05And the world's all right with me
03:11Just one look at you
03:15And I know it's all right
03:18Shit, shit, shit.
03:20Wait! Wait!
03:26Stop! Stop!
03:28Stop! Don't leave me with these diapers!
03:34Hey, dude. Fire hair.
03:38I forgot.
03:39Nice to see you.
03:41Back on Asheville Place.
03:45Why you don't... you don't remember me?
03:50Sorry.
03:51Never been good at remembering faces.
03:53That's all right.
03:54Yeah, I always liked this street.
03:56You hear the thing about cul-de-sacs?
03:59There's only one way out!
04:03Have a great day, Robert.
04:08Bye now.
04:23They're okay.
04:25Things I'll do for you.
04:30Like moving here.
04:43Do you want me to stay?
04:44I can call Nina, tell her I need another week.
04:47What are we watching?
04:49How long has that house been empty?
04:5120 years.
04:52Give or take.
04:54You don't think that's weird?
04:56Not really.
04:57I'm sure they've got a good reason for hanging on to it.
04:58So there's a they.
04:59Who's the they?
05:00You know.
05:01Whoever owns it.
05:02Okay, shrug night.
05:04So you never thought about it?
05:06No, not really.
05:07Whatever.
05:08I know you gotta get to work.
05:09Naveen and I are catching the same train.
05:11The train pooling, he's calling it.
05:12But say the word, Noste.
05:13No, no, no.
05:14Gotta rip the band-aid off some way, somehow.
05:16It'll be me, myself, and I.
05:18And Miles.
05:19Together, alone, for the first time.
05:20I mean, no friends or family nearby, but that's why it's good.
05:24Yeah, because I'm not worried at all.
05:27You're giving me some very mixed signals here.
05:29I know.
05:31Get on the train.
05:32I love you so much.
05:33Mm-hmm.
05:33I love you too.
05:34I love you too, little man.
05:35And you can call me anytime, okay?
05:37I'm the guy saved in your phone as White Bob with the black thumbs-up emoji.
05:41And it'll never change.
05:44Try to get out of the house today.
05:54Can I help you?
05:59I'm sorry?
06:03Should he be listening to this?
06:05Well, he can't understand the words.
06:09Babies absorb these things.
06:12Okay.
06:13Oh!
06:15Oh, you must be Rob Fisher's wife.
06:19Oh, I heard you were back here to live.
06:26Well, this is fabulous.
06:28I was wondering when I would get to meet you.
06:31I don't get out much.
06:33I'm Lynn Gardner.
06:34I'm Samira, and that's Miles.
06:37Aw.
06:38He looks just like his mama.
06:41Samira.
06:42Such a pretty name.
06:43Is it African?
06:46Yes.
06:47Fascinating.
06:48I just live catty-corner if you ever need anything.
06:52And you must come to Wine Night.
06:54It's just a bunch of friendly neighbors dabbing and guzzling on my porch,
06:59and they are dying to meet you.
07:01I'm breastfeeding, unfortunately.
07:03Oh, pump and dump, my darling.
07:07Welcome to Ashfield Place.
07:18Hey.
07:19Hey.
07:20I got a very important question for my big sis.
07:23Mariah, Whitney, Janet, or Beyonce?
07:28When you gotta go?
07:29I'm not about to fight with you today.
07:31Well, that's not a fight.
07:31I miss you.
07:33How's my apartment?
07:34Well, if you're referring to the artist currently known as my new apartment, it's divine.
07:40Look, girl, your taste is impeccable, okay?
07:41And these views?
07:43Exquisite.
07:43How's my nephew?
07:44Cute as hell.
07:45Oh, yes, he is.
07:48Because we're twins.
07:50And see, that's why you go off FaceTime.
07:53And how is Hinky Mountain?
07:55Hinkley Hills is Caucasian.
07:58That's the burbs, babes.
07:59Am I a bad mom for bringing my melanated son out here?
08:03I don't know.
08:04Are you a bad mother for accepting a very nice house in a very nice neighborhood
08:07where there's practically no crime, really nice schools?
08:10I mean, make it make sense.
08:11This feels so isolated.
08:13I mean, every day is the same thing.
08:16I don't know what I'm doing.
08:17And I don't have anybody to teach me how.
08:19Well, you know she's looking after you.
08:21That's what daddy say, but you can't teach somebody how to swallow a baby from heaven.
08:25Amen to that.
08:26How am I going to get through maternity leave?
08:29I mean, I thrive in collaborative environments.
08:32I need structure and tangible goals.
08:35Bitch, I don't speak resume.
08:37I speak housewife.
08:39This is what you do.
08:40Pick up a little day drinking habit.
08:41Maybe a little pill habit or something.
08:43Something cute.
08:43Yeah.
08:44Hard to do when you got a tit gremlin.
08:46Yeah, you could have kept that one.
08:48Well, baby, you just need some friends.
08:50I have friends.
08:51I mean, in a 10-mile radius.
08:52None of your neighbors ain't no potential there?
08:55Uh, no.
08:56It's a who's who of who's not it.
08:58These people are crazy.
09:00Well, I'm just spitballing, though.
09:01I know.
09:02I know, and I appreciate you.
09:03And I love you.
09:04And I'm going to come and visit you soon.
09:06Okay?
09:07And I know you would have chapped Mariah.
09:09I don't know her.
09:11Love you.
09:12Bye.
09:15Naveen?
09:19Look at us.
09:21Train buddies.
09:23Commute comrades.
09:25Megan filed for divorce.
09:26What?
09:27She was waiting for me when I got home yesterday.
09:30Suitcases at the bottom of the stairs.
09:31Like, out of a bad movie.
09:34Shit.
09:35Said she's been unhappy for a long time and wants to start over while she still has her youth.
09:39Said she can't stand another day of my moodiness.
09:41I'm not even...
09:45I'm not even that moody, Rob.
09:49She's fucking her dentist.
09:52Dr. James.
09:53The only one who takes my insurance.
09:54So that's fucking great.
09:56I should have known she was getting way too much dental work done for someone who has perfect teeth.
10:01She does have great teeth.
10:03Right?
10:03Two cleanings in a week.
10:04She said she needed to get a filling.
10:06Oh.
10:07Fuck.
10:09Remember what you said at my bachelor party?
10:11No.
10:12I was drunken on three different classes of drugs.
10:14We were in Miami.
10:15My jaw was in Texas.
10:16You grabbed my face and you said,
10:19Never trust a Megan.
10:22Nostradamus, motherfucker.
10:23I should have listened.
10:24I'm sorry, mate.
10:26Anyway, let's talk about you.
10:28Enough about me.
10:29How's the little man?
10:30Oh, God.
10:31He's the best.
10:32Perfect.
10:33I mean, he doesn't sleep.
10:34And he shits like a trucker.
10:36But wouldn't change it for the world.
10:38Nice.
10:39And Samira?
10:41She keeps asking questions about the house across the street.
10:47Really?
10:48Yeah.
10:53What'd you tell her?
10:55What is there to tell?
10:57I don't know.
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20:52I didn't think that's true
21:30Completed in 1902, Hinkley House was built by Hinkley Hills founder, H. Horace Hinkley.
21:36The mining magnet and philanthropist purchased 25,000 acres of hillside forest in 1898 and
21:44developed it into the thriving suburb that bears his name. Today, Hinkley Hills is more
21:50than just an idyllic bedroom community, it is a shining example of fellowship and family values.
21:56Hinkley Hills, the safest town in America.
22:29Here we go.
22:37Hello, how may I help you? Do you have a periodical section, collections of old newspapers, microfiche
22:42maybe?
22:43I'm doing okay, thank you for asking.
22:46I'm sorry, I am a new mom and I'm practically feral.
22:50I understand. Oh, what a cute little mocha munchkin. To answer your question, yes, we have bound
23:00copies of all the Hinkley Hills Heralds dating back to 1946. Is there a particular date you're
23:07interested in? March 15th, 2005. One moment, please.
23:29I'm afraid that March volume has been checked out.
23:33Really?
23:33It's due back in a week. You can come back for it then. It's a date, Judy.
23:58Bill, you missed a spot, dear.
24:15Oh, shit, she about to do it.
24:18Mm-mm-mm. It's not even her house.
24:22What's she feeding that doll?
24:27She gonna be mad when she get cussed out, folks.
24:38You are not gonna believe this.
24:42Oh, my gosh.
24:44I know.
24:45So are we gonna go in?
24:47Do white ladies love salads?
24:48Hell, yeah, we're going in.
24:50BRB, I'm gonna go get Lynn.
24:51Rob, honey, if you were awake, I would have asked what you thought, but oh, oh, well.
25:03I just got a chill.
25:06Anybody else get a chill?
25:12I'll do it.
25:13I was gonna offer, but it seems like you already offered.
25:17Oh, it's stuck.
25:20Oh, well.
25:23Oh.
25:42Everybody be cool.
25:44I cannot be less cool right now.
25:49This place looks like a museum or a mausoleum.
25:54Oh.
25:55That's why the lights are on.
25:57You're staging the house.
26:00Hiya, homebuyers.
26:01How can I help you?
26:02We are looking for an enormous house for our niece.
26:07Um, we would love a tour.
26:11Follow me.
26:13The owners have instructed that interior photography is not permitted.
26:18This is the library.
26:21Very tasteful.
26:22We enjoy literacy.
26:24All of the flooring is original to the house, which is built in the Queen Anne style.
26:29As you can imagine, a little love and a professional sander will go a long way.
26:35Oh, feel free to show yourselves around.
26:37Excuse me.
26:38Hello there.
26:38Welcome.
26:40They discriminate against older female buyers.
26:42This always happens.
26:43Oh, please.
26:44Our niece, you're a really bad liar.
26:46Well, I had to get him to take the bait or he might have thrown us out.
26:50Well, it's an open house, so by definition...
26:52I'm gonna peek around.
27:27This is the ugliest kitchen I've ever seen.
27:53When did you get here?
27:56Okay.
27:57Okay.
27:58Okay.
28:04Okay.
28:12Okay.
28:36That's creepy.
28:47Oh, absolutely not.
28:52Everything okay, ma'am?
28:53Yes.
28:54I'm good.
28:54Great house.
28:55Beautiful house.
29:13Can you believe it?
29:15After 20 years...
29:16End of an era.
29:18So, any intel on our new neighbors-to-be?
29:21It was an all-cash deal.
29:23Quick escrow, too.
29:24Oh, they must have really wanted it.
29:26He.
29:27Just he.
29:28Go on.
29:29A doctor.
29:30How'd you find that out?
29:32I have my ways.
29:33He installed a security system, which, in my expert opinion, is overkill for a private residence.
29:39You'd only need a security system that robust if you are in danger or you have something to hide.
29:46Or both.
29:47I've never heard you say so many words at once.
29:49Well, I wish him luck with the Munster mansion, and I hope he has a good contractor and a good
29:56exorcist.
30:09What?
30:10I'm pretty young.
30:13You're a new.
30:15What?
30:17What?
30:20What?
30:28What time is it?
30:292 a.m.
30:32Something's not right out there.
30:34Okay, that is so weird.
30:40Is that it?
30:42No.
30:56Yeah.
30:57Uh-uh.
30:58That was about the new neighbor.
30:59But I'm sad and starving.
31:01Too bad.
31:01I'm being nice.
31:02Isn't this the kind of place where the neighbors act nice until they are nice?
31:06I did say that.
31:07Yes, you did.
31:08Your mother's up to something.
31:10What?
31:10I just want to know what his deal is, don't you?
31:12Maybe he doesn't have a deal.
31:14A guy moves into a dilapidated haunted house at 2 a.m.?
31:17Come on.
31:18He definitely has a deal.
31:19That is weird, weird.
31:22When did you pick that up?
31:23Ninja.
31:25Ninja.
31:49Ninja.
31:50Ninja.
32:15Ninja.
32:23i got him five minutes on the left boob and he was out like a light that's great babe great
32:28it's
32:29a miracle okay if he can go to sleep when it's dark outside in a stationary position that is a
32:33game changer a life-affirming moment what are you looking at your brownies are still there
32:42wait really why won't he eat the goddamn brownies
32:47maybe he doesn't fuck with gluten then throw him out and give us the plate back that's a good plate
32:51it doesn't make sense everyone likes brownies they're the beyonce of dessert and if they don't
32:57they're just being contrary jinx maybe you just didn't see you put in there the camera was on on
33:04sorry i just love it when you get all lawyery order in the court oh council please approach the bench
33:09i object is there anything else you've noticed curtains opening and closing could he be watching
33:14us definitely could be i think we better
33:23he always knows no i got too cocky i flew too close to the sun and now he's punishing me
33:28like a tiny
33:29vengeful god it's all right i'm gonna go drive him around okay
33:37i'm coming i'm coming
33:42thank you
33:45be back in a second
33:47love you
33:48love you get some rest
33:49come on
34:01fuck it
34:06reclaiming my plate
34:09what's he think he is
34:10not eat my brownies i love my brownies i eat it my damn self
34:42he can keep the damn place
34:44what's he think he is
34:55what's he say
34:59oh shit
35:01shit
35:02shit
35:03shit
35:03shit
35:03shit
35:03shit
35:31Is everything all right?
35:32Hands where I can see him.
35:34What's happening?
35:35We got a call about a trespasser at the old Grant House.
35:38I'm guessing matches the description.
35:40Hey!
35:42What the hell is going on?
35:43New owner said they saw a black person skulking around the property.
35:47This is a big misunderstanding.
35:49Is it?
35:50Because apparently it happened twice.
35:51I was just dropping off brownies.
35:53This is my wife.
35:54And our house, where we live with our son.
35:57Fuck off.
36:00Robert Fisher.
36:02Danny Daniels.
36:03From high school.
36:05I heard you move back.
36:09Baby, it's okay.
36:10Mommy's...
36:11Sorry, man.
36:12You know we got to take the call.
36:13This is nuts.
36:16Consider this drop, my good man.
36:21Yeah, don't worry about it.
36:22They all kind of look like that at that age.
36:26Robert Fisher.
36:28As I live and breathe, you folks have a great evening.
36:36Did you just thank the cops?
36:39Oh, shit.
36:41But...
36:42What's wrong with me?
36:44Sorry, babe.
36:45I...
36:47We can't live across the street from someone like that.
36:50I mean, what would have happened if I hadn't gotten there when I did?
37:00What's up, man?
37:00This is some bullshit.
37:02That freak, Nark, will rue the day he stepped foot in Hinkley Hills.
37:05Huh, yeah.
37:06Just used rue the day in a sentence.
37:08You're welcome.
37:11Hey.
37:13Todd told me what happened.
37:14I heard it on the police scanner.
37:17What the hell?
37:18What do you need, babe?
37:20You need some wine?
37:21How about some ice cream?
37:22You want a hit, man?
37:23I know people.
37:24I'm people.
37:25Say the word.
37:26Okay, we can hold on the ladder, but I could use some wine.
37:30Yeah, that's the cure-all for all.
37:32Even racial profiling?
37:33We share your rage.
37:35He will not last long here.
37:38Spoken like a true hater.
37:39I love this energy, my dude.
37:40Oh, there's the sommelier now.
37:42Oh, Rob, this is lunacy of outrageous proportions.
37:47We won't stand for it.
37:49Should I get some glasses?
37:50Yes.
37:51I got it.
37:51Please, make your stuff.
37:53Yeah.
37:54Shove over.
37:55I think we should all sleep here tonight.
37:57Safety in numbers.
37:59Hunker down.
37:59Someone should always be on watch, right?
38:01Like in the Marines?
38:02Yes, I will be out front the entire time.
38:05Okay, good.
38:05I've had a lot of coffee, so I'll stay up all night.
38:09Sleep out there like a dog.
38:10Um, we gotta, like, stick together right now and form an alliance.
38:14Mm, right.
38:16I'm a lone wolf.
38:16Is that a united front?
38:17I've got some big-ass flashlights.
38:19I'm gonna bring over about 10 of them.
38:20Do you have stuff that you brought home from the Marines?
38:22I have a lot of stuff in the garage.
38:24I just have to remember the password for that case.
38:27Oh, wow.
38:42Are those fireflies?
38:46Yeah.
38:48I always wanted to see fireflies growing up, but you can't see them in the city.
38:51It's like spotting a fairy in the wild.
38:58It's not fair.
39:01I was just starting to feel at home here.
39:05There's space.
39:07And a community.
39:12I damn sure don't want to drag no stroll up four flights of stairs.
39:24I think we should stay.
39:27I want Miles to have fireflies.
39:30And our family's not gonna be run out by some racist, brownie-hating prick.
39:39We're doing this.
39:41Hell yeah, we're doing this.
39:54Coming in?
39:56In a minute.
39:59I want to smell this sweet suburban air.
40:33Oh, shit.
40:34I want to smell it.
40:48I want to smell it.
41:06Oh, shit.
41:18I want to smell it.
41:20I want to smell it.
41:20Oh, shit.
41:34Oh, oh, oh.
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