- 16 hours ago
My Dad Is Poseidon
Category
🎥
Short filmTranscript
00:12Slow-ass sea slug!
00:14Your launch today, beach!
00:35Slow-ass.
00:37Slow-ass.
00:39Slow-ass.
01:00Filthy scavengers!
01:02When Lord Poseidon ruled the Deep, you Skyrats swore never to breach the surface.
01:09Poseidon.
01:10Fish food ages ago.
01:12Lino.
01:18Snow.
01:37Sire, Zeus's people just breached your outer barrier.
01:41I'm retired.
01:42Don't bring that crap to my door.
01:47Sire!
02:04Who the hell broke my new console?
02:06I'm gonna go deal with that bastard!
02:09Sire!
02:10You're finally stepping in!
02:25Go fight somewhere else.
02:26Don't block me from clearing my game.
02:28My king!
02:30Even Poseidon himself would still be fit to shine my boots!
02:54What did you do?
02:55Turn me back right now!
03:01Sire, the entire Abyssal Realm awaits your command.
03:05Lead us against Olympus.
03:07We beg you.
03:08Zeus's brain's probably been eaten out by Chlamydia for years.
03:11I'm retired.
03:12I don't waste breath on crazy people.
03:20Screw power struggles.
03:22Rotting in bed playing games is the real way to live.
03:37Get your hands off me, creep!
03:39Sorry.
03:40I didn't mean to...
03:45Wait.
03:46Pointy ears.
03:47A dryage?
03:48What's a forest nintz doing here?
03:54He's just a regular human.
03:56A total nerd.
03:57Damn it.
03:58The Aphrodisians kicking in.
04:09You're burning up down here.
04:11Way harder than I pictured.
04:14I was drugged.
04:15This whole thing is Dylan's sick setup.
04:18If I don't mate someone before the timer runs out, I die.
04:21I really need this guy.
04:28God damn.
04:30You really know how to flip my switch.
04:38What the hell did you do to me last night?
04:43Hey.
04:44I put in a lot of work.
04:45Don't tell me you forgot.
04:47Leora!
04:48I know you're in there.
04:50Nowhere left to run.
04:51Damn it.
04:52He tracked me.
04:54He tracked me.
05:05Leora.
05:07You're my fiancé.
05:09You belong with me.
05:10Come home.
05:11Get away, Dylan!
05:14As the leader of the Satyr, you actually drugged me.
05:22Why the fuck are you wearing some dude's shirt?
05:25You slept with someone?
05:27Who screwed up my plan?
05:32Oh, so you're the genius who roofed her.
05:34Newsflash, tough guy.
05:35Real men don't need tricks.
05:37You talking to the boss like that, punk?
05:45So you're the loser who ruined everything?
05:48You actually fucked this beach bomb shut in?
05:57Touch him again and you'll regret it.
05:59Her body's tainted now, but her blood still has value.
06:02Can't push too hard yet.
06:06I won't kill him.
06:08But you're coming with me, Leora.
06:12Babe, if you don't want to go, I can handle this clown.
06:20Forget today ever happened.
06:22Go back to your life.
06:25Yeah.
06:36Seriously, can't I just play my game for once?
06:50Those assholes are back already.
06:51What are you talking about?
06:59Hey, Pencil Neck, I'm Dylan's top enforcer.
07:02Either get the hell out of this water or kneel and call me daddy.
07:05Dylan who?
07:06Speak up, man.
07:07My ears are shot.
07:08Keep acting tough.
07:09Jax can stomp boulders to dust.
07:12Even Nereus' seafo give him a wide burp.
07:14Okay.
07:18Okay.
07:20Okay.
07:21Okay.
07:26You asked for this.
07:40You one-shotted pants top an orcer?
07:43Who the hell are you?
07:55Asshole.
07:56Using my divine power to barbecue.
07:58Hope you die alone and miserable.
08:01What are you whining about?
08:03Nothing.
08:04Heat's too low.
08:05Sprinkle this and baste it again.
08:12Molly?
08:13Gods make heroes with it, you seasoned food?
08:18Huh.
08:20Tide barrier just got tripped.
08:27Mommy, is daddy stationed way out in the deep sea?
08:30Is that why he never comes to see me?
08:33Yeah, baby.
08:35But he retired recently.
08:37We're gonna find him now.
08:46I'm badly wounded.
08:48I don't have much time.
08:50Find Lily's real father.
08:52Leave her with him.
08:53I just hope you two can live in peace.
08:58Far away from those bastards on Mount Olympus.
09:14There it is.
09:22Liara's wounded bad.
09:23Drag them both back to the Dillon.
09:25Lifetime of easy living.
09:32What the hell was that?
09:34Nothing.
09:35Just swapped a bug.
09:39That girl from five years ago.
09:41You came looking for me?
09:44She's your daughter.
09:46We need you now.
09:49So you're my dad?
09:50You're actually pretty handsome.
09:53This aura?
09:54She's got my blood.
10:01Who did this?
10:03Don't worry about it.
10:04Just keep Lily safe.
10:10Mommy.
10:12Mommy!
10:29It's too late, boss.
10:31Her heartbeats fading fast.
10:47Somebody help me!
10:49Somebody help me!
11:01Give me a name, Leora.
11:03Who did this?
11:04I'm going to tear them apart.
11:09It was...
11:30Your father sold you to me a long time ago.
11:32You're my fiancé, my property.
11:34You filthy whore.
11:36Spread your legs for some stray dog!
11:42But at least your bloodline is still worth something.
11:49No! Let go!
11:53With nymph blood in my veins, even Olympus will bow to me.
12:04I got careless.
12:07Diving near a shipwreck. My fault.
12:10Shipwreck?
12:11Those cuts are surgical, Leora. Someone did this to you.
12:18You're just a regular guy. Stay out of it.
12:22Boss?
12:23Soup's ready.
12:30If I don't make it, promise me you'll take care of Lily.
12:33She's all we have left.
12:36She's safe. Now drink.
12:41Soup isn't going to fix this, Jack.
12:49Jack, you...
12:52Ambrosia residue? Golden applesap?
12:54I studied this in grad's time.
12:57Greek meth said it could raise the dead for mortals.
13:00Where the hell did you get this?
13:03More. Try it.
13:15These ingredients, where did you get them?
13:22It's my first time meeting Daddy.
13:25I gotta find the prettiest shell for him.
13:50What a lively little snack.
13:53Gulp you down and my power doubles!
13:57Ha ha ha!
14:04I just fished this stuff out of the bay.
14:06You want more?
14:07I've got a ton of it laying around.
14:09This guy's luck is insane.
14:13A random mortal just happens to have relics of the old gods?
14:18Is this coast a secret Olympian vault?
14:21You're safe here, Liria.
14:23Liria, we've got a kid together now.
14:28I'm not letting anything touch you or Lily.
14:33Jack, I'm grateful, but I...
14:35Daddy!
14:36Help!
14:39Something's trying to eat me!
14:42Lily's in trouble!
14:50I'm not tasty.
14:51My mommy and daddy are super strong.
14:55Please don't eat me!
15:00Divine power runs through this girl.
15:03Devour you.
15:04And I might even claim the Sea King's throne.
15:10Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!
15:23Whoo!
15:26What's that?
15:28Go!
15:28Whoa!
15:30Goodbye!
15:38Bye!
15:39Bye!
15:41You disgusting freak!
15:44What do you think you're doing to my daughter?
15:46Mommy!
15:48I've got your baby.
15:51Touch my kid again, and I'll rip her head off your shoulders!
15:56Ha! You ruined my meal?
16:01Wait. The baby mama herself. Perfect.
16:10Two courses for the price of one!
16:19Bitch!
16:25Jack, take Lily and run. Go!
16:32Run from the Lycian Hydro, you pathetic little insects.
16:45You...Posei?
16:46That kid's his. No wonder the power's so pure.
16:51That's Poseidon's bloodline. If I stay, I'm dead.
17:01What the hell just happened? It ran?
17:04Damn, Leoya. Your powers are badass. You straight up scared the monster off.
17:10Me? No way. Even at full strength, I couldn't take that thing. I'm still recovering.
17:16Wait. Maybe it sensed the guardian of this sea vault?
17:22Whatever. Let's get home. That thing might circle back.
17:28About that monster.
17:34Failed at the perfect time? Figures. He's just a regular guy, after all.
18:19My liege. Have mercy. I didn't know she was your daughter. I swear it. Please, spare my life.
18:26No problem.
18:27Thank you, my lord. Thank you for your mercy.
18:29Try to remember that in your next life.
18:44Enjoying the show?
18:55My king! We had nothing to do with the Hydra. We swear!
18:58Listen to me. If any of you take one step near my daughter again, I will skin you alive.
19:06Now, get the fuck out of my sight.
19:08Yes!
19:09Yes, my liege!
19:10Yes!
19:21My love, since you refuse to tell me who did this to you, I'll just have to dig up the
19:27truth myself.
19:36That wild god Pan's always pulling power grabs.
19:39But Poseidon? Guy's long gone.
19:42Probably fish food in some trench, right?
19:45Sea god myth, ancient history.
19:47Wanna bet? There ain't no sea king anymore!
19:50Ha ha ha ha ha ha!
20:01The world's the same as ever.
20:03The dead are louder than the living.
20:06Who the hell are you?
20:07You're in Hades territory, asshole!
20:10Asshole!
20:20Poseidon?
20:31Is Hades still breathing?
20:33If he is, tell him to get his ass out here.
20:39Who the fuck is tearing up my domain?
20:47I don't have time for this. I'm not wasting it on you.
20:50I need a background check.
20:56You know who I am?
20:58Hades is Ace.
21:00You crash my spot, you die here!
21:03You die here!
21:05You die here!
21:24Little fish.
21:33Headed staff?
21:35One shot?
21:36What? The sea king? He's real.
21:40Hades?
21:41You hiding?
21:42Come out!
21:43Or this whole place turns into driftwood.
21:47One!
21:48Two!
21:53Thank the fates!
21:54The boss is here!
22:00Boss!
22:01This bum!
22:02This bum!
22:07You idiot!
22:09Piss off the lord of the oceans and we all drown!
22:11You're done!
22:12Get out!
22:13In front of Poseidon, your ants.
22:16I'm saving your worthless heights.
22:22My lord, is this handling satisfactory?
22:26I'm not here for fun.
22:27Dig up everything on that Leora and her daughter.
22:34Understood.
22:35I'll mobilize every team right now.
22:37You have three days.
22:38I'll be back.
22:43Everyone!
22:44Drop what you're doing!
22:45Full sweep on the Leora and Child!
22:47Every resource!
22:49Every contact!
22:50Now!
22:50Tell them Poseidon's back!
22:52Yes, boss!
22:59Poseidon's back.
23:00Let's hope this time he doesn't flood the place just to make a point.
23:11Dylan wants the woman dead.
23:13Kid comes with us alive.
23:14She's still hurt.
23:15Easy pickets.
23:17Let's move.
23:18Let's move.
23:29We'll make a nice stew.
23:31Surprise daddy for lunch?
23:33Ha ha ha ha!
23:37Ha ha ha ha!
23:39A forest nymph playing happy home mater?
23:43Pathetic.
23:46Who are you?
23:48Dillon's orders come quietly to the stronghold, or I drag your corpse back.
23:55Mommy?
23:56Who's the ugly goat man?
23:59Hand over the kid!
24:07Stay away from my daughter!
24:09Don't you dare touch her!
24:11I'm not.
24:27Mommy, you're bleeding!
24:29This forest is locked down.
24:31Surrender now.
24:33I'll go with you.
24:35On one condition.
24:37Let my daughter go!
24:38No, Mommy, I'm not leaving you!
24:42No, Mommy, I'm not leaving you!
24:49I'm not leaving you!
24:51Kid's mine.
24:53You die.
24:57You poisoned me?
25:01My poison fog.
25:03The more you fight, the faster it rots you from the inside.
25:07Give up!
25:08You've gone too far.
25:10Even if I die today, I'm not letting you win.
25:15You're wounded.
25:18Poisoned.
25:19Done.
25:21The kid's coming with me.
25:24Don't touch her!
25:26Come at me!
25:27Feisty one.
25:29Dillon wants you dead.
25:31But first, I'm gonna have some fun.
25:40Such a pretty face.
25:43All mine now.
25:47Let my mommy go, you bastard!
25:56Lily!
25:57Lily!
25:58Run!
25:59Get out of here!
26:04Serve me well, and I might let her run a little longer.
26:21That's enough!
26:26Ready?
26:31Let her run!
26:33No!
26:37Ready?
26:54Let her run!
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