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Animal Control S04E12 (2026) [xa6yram] [Full Movie] [Trending]Full EP - Full
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00:01Good morning Seattle and welcome to Old Town's 17th annual Wiener Parade.
00:07We've got boot trucks, we've got marching bands and of course the Wiener Queen.
00:12At 17 years old, Her Majesty is the longest living wiener in Washington's history.
00:17I don't like one better than this. Something feels off.
00:20I just say that every time we experience whimsy.
00:23No, a parade is no place for whimsy.
00:24Whimsy is for college improv teams before they all have sex with each other, ruining the dynamic.
00:28James, this is Ace. I've got a pocket queen. Check in. Does everything go prosthetic?
00:32No, it's your worst nightmare, Frank. People are having fun.
00:34Yeah, everything's cool. There's all that and a bag of chips.
00:38You want to eat something, Vince?
00:44Put your hands together for the memorial high school marching band, the Fighting Badgers.
00:50For the love of God, no. Dachshunds hunt badgers. It's in their DNA, along with short legs and back problems.
00:59Take your head off. Show him you're a man.
01:03Take your head off.
01:06Take him. I need to take him.
01:11Where are you?
01:12I lost the queen. She's old and blind. She doesn't stand a chance.
01:16I got eyes on the queen.
01:17Unfortunately, she's in the middle of a sausage party and we're all invited.
01:22I saved the queen. I mean, it's a dog, but still. Dressed like a queen. It's peeing all over me.
01:30Excited for the Animal Control Officer of the Year award weekend in Bellingham.
01:35Are you going to be like this for the entire two-hour bus ride?
01:37Well, I for one am jazzed because two of our cootie nominees hail from our very own precinct.
01:43We have Frank Shaw and Templeton Dunn.
01:50Future winners get the board of the bus first.
01:52Let's bring home that hard. Where's he, Rufy?
01:54You know, there's a world where Templeton's compression socks cut the blood off to his heart and I win by
01:58default.
01:59Frank, I'm really excited to watch you. Glad hand on the campaign trail, but I do have one note.
02:03Too handsome?
02:03Yeah, it's a curse of how to deal with most of my life since a very successful puberty.
02:07We need to talk handshakes.
02:08You come from a time when it was fun to squeeze hard, but that's not where we're at now.
02:12Yeah, see that? That's crazy.
02:14I need you to win the golden moose so that Templeton doesn't, because I know him and he's going to
02:17try and leverage a win to take over the precinct.
02:19So, no pressure, but I need you at your most charming and least offensive.
02:22Well, it's tricky because people find my offensiveness charming.
02:24If he takes over, I mean, it's going to be a nuclear winter.
02:27Forced overtimes, creepy one-on-one performance reviews.
02:29I'm saying goodbye to riddle of the day.
02:32Riddle of the day is the first thing to go.
02:34After that, we're going gender-specific uniforms, girls in skirts, boys in shorts.
02:42Are you leaving for good?
02:44Supplies for my annual cocktail party.
02:45We had a huge crowd for Speakeasy for Sheezy last year.
02:48This year's theme is Freaky Tiki. I don't know what to expect.
02:51I'm loving a Cootie Patel, man. 48 hours away from the family, so full of life.
02:55It's a little glimpse of what could have been, brother.
02:56Okay, no flaming cocktails, though, because after the fire that Victoria started last year,
03:00we're kind of on thin ice with the menu.
03:02You neglect to mention me saving all of our co-workers by pulling the fire alarm.
03:06All that's filling my margarita al fuego.
03:07Thanks to you, I spent the evening shivering on the sidewalk.
03:10Yeah, because you ripped your shirt off as you were running down the hallway.
03:12That was for speed.
03:13Look, I'm sure it was an accident, sort of, but you know you're banned from the hotel, right?
03:18No, no, no. I'm banned from booking a room at the hotel.
03:20That doesn't mean that I can't find someone to crash with.
03:22And this is, like, the horniest animal control weekend of the year.
03:24I'm sure someone will take it astray.
03:26All right, let's get everyone on the bus.
03:31Welcome, everybody. I'm Wayne Peters, and I'm running this year's Cooties.
03:34Quick administrative housekeeping note.
03:36I've noticed a few officers walking around in these What Happens in Bellingham t-shirts.
03:41This is a work event, and we do not want a repeat of last year.
03:45No, we do not. You?
03:47Because what happens in Bellingham can wind up on your professional record.
03:51Okay, let's go get them.
03:53Meantime, cocktails and so forth. Enjoy yourselves.
03:57Hey, so I haven't checked in yet. Should we try to get conjoining rooms?
04:01What? No, of course not. Didn't you hear what Wayne said? This is still work.
04:05Wait, so everybody's going to hook up with a co-worker here except for us?
04:08Exactly.
04:11Morgan from Oregon. I barely recognize you with that pretty dry skin. Get out of here, girl.
04:15Jerry! Hey, congrats on the empty nest, brother.
04:18My kids are doing great, though. I've got one in travel soccer, the other one's doing debate.
04:22Wait, what am I talking about my kids at a party?
04:24Big thing you know, I'll be trying to show you pictures of my baby eating with a fork.
04:28It's pretty cute, though.
04:31Hey, cheers to last year's a cootie winner.
04:34Did they put you up in a penthouse?
04:35No, just a garden unit.
04:37Tell me more about this unit.
04:38It's pretty nice. It's got one of those retractable clotheslines in the shower and everything.
04:42My clothes get so wet.
04:43And he looks confident.
04:45I was a nervous wreck this time last year, and I didn't even have to write a speech.
04:48Wait, Frank has to give a speech?
04:50Yeah.
04:51Can I talk to you out here for a second?
04:53Okay, everybody here is going nuts on each other.
04:56On the walk over, every other door had a do not disturb sign on.
04:58Just try not to think about it. You know, enjoy the party.
05:02Okay, yeah, this is rough.
05:03He was really getting in there.
05:05You can count on the guy that rescued 24 animals in 24 hours.
05:09Hey, um, did you know that you have to make a speech tomorrow night?
05:12Yeah, acceptance.
05:13No, this is a speech about what being an animal control officer means to you, and it's a new thing
05:17this year.
05:18Whoa, wait, wait.
05:18You have to give a speech and you didn't know about it?
05:20Guys, I know that I have to give a speech.
05:22Now, if you'll excuse me.
05:27Are you enjoying the party?
05:29Damn it, if you'll excuse me.
05:30Okay.
05:32You okay?
05:33Hello, Erin. Do you mind if I just jump in here real quick?
05:35I was like, calm all over again.
05:38But don't take my word for it.
05:40Take mine.
05:43Confirming you can still see the teleprompter with the video?
05:45I don't need it. I memorized this three weeks ago.
05:47I have a photographic memory. That's why women don't change in front of me.
05:50Yeah, that's one of the reasons why.
05:52You kept the speech requirement from me?
05:53I did.
05:54When I took over your desk, I started intercepting your emails.
05:57Oh, your dentist says happy birthday, by the way.
06:00I lost a molar because I didn't get that appointment reminder.
06:02I don't think you're going to be smiling anyway,
06:04sputtering improvised sentence fragments in front of a full room of your very judgmental peers.
06:08Now, if you'll excuse me, I have a fitting because you just ruined my rehearsal.
06:12We're done.
06:13The two-three is coming for you.
06:14Are you afraid? Because you should be.
06:17No, I'm not afraid.
06:18Guys, stop it. Stop.
06:20Stop.
06:29Oh, if it isn't the almost arsonist of Bellingham.
06:33Oh, I can't talk right now.
06:35I'm writing the speech.
06:37I just hit a flow state.
06:38Oh, let's see what's flowed out of you so far.
06:41Well, the faucet's not fully cranked.
06:43What does job mean to Frank?
06:45Uh, Templeton really screwed you over.
06:46You might as well do your go-to and rip your shirt off because you're not going to win people
06:49over with this.
06:50I just started an hour ago.
06:52I'll tell you what.
06:53I'll help you with your speech.
06:55You let me crash here.
06:56So your alley cat and heat strategy didn't work on anyone?
06:59You know what?
06:59I think I've underestimated the emotional trauma escaping a burning building leaves on people.
07:04And I bought these to sweeten the deal.
07:06Screwtops.
07:07Way to go.
07:12Thanks for meeting me here.
07:14I know it's not the honeymoon suite, but, you know, it's ours.
07:20Okay, why are you kissing me like I'm your grandmother?
07:24Okay, I know this whole thing is hard.
07:27Yeah, it is.
07:28You won't come to my room, but we have to meet in, like, the coldest place in the hotel.
07:32You know I hate it, too, but there's nothing we can really do about it.
07:34Yeah, but there is, though.
07:36You said we could tell people two months ago, and it's been four months.
07:39Okay, well, the two-month thing was just kind of like an estimate.
07:41It's just starting to feel like maybe you don't want people to know because I'm not worth the risk.
07:46Like, that you don't think this can actually work.
07:50Ugh, this hopeless...
07:53No, you just, you have to hook people emotionally.
07:56That's the only way to win them over, because people are stupid, and they're ruled by their dumb hearts.
08:00I haven't spent a lifetime bottling up my feelings.
08:03You want me to spill it to these plebs?
08:04Yes, give me a good sob story.
08:07Ugh, this is so beneath me.
08:12I had an awful dog named Buddy.
08:14Okay, not a great start.
08:15Here's the sad part.
08:16My mom got sick.
08:18Great, we're getting somewhere.
08:19Okay, let me write this down.
08:20And I don't know how, but Buddy sensed that I needed him, and he turned into the sweetest guy.
08:29And on the morning my mom died, Buddy wouldn't leave my side.
08:33He knew my pain.
08:37Animals are amazing.
08:39Growing up, my bird always knew when I was high.
08:43Every time.
08:46He was the best.
08:47Sometimes when I'm in the field and I see a dog that looks like Buddy, it reminds me of how
08:53great animals are to us.
08:56And I want to try my best for them.
08:59Unless the Buddy lookalike is rapid, and then, of course, I keep my distance.
09:04I don't think I've ever heard you talk like an actual person before.
09:07Well, please do not tell anyone what has transpired here.
09:13I'm going to tell everyone.
09:20Frank!
09:21Frank, are you pooping?
09:22I need you, man!
09:25What is it?
09:26Hey, ma'am.
09:27Me and Emily had a fight, and I just...
09:30I need a bro to lean on right now.
09:31Oh, wait.
09:32What happened?
09:33Is Emily okay?
09:34She's fine.
09:34I'm distraught.
09:35I'm sorry.
09:36Do you mind?
09:36I think the boys need the room.
09:39Okay.
09:44I...
09:44I will...
09:45text you the speech.
09:49Oh, love.
09:53Emily!
09:54Take off your sleep apnea mask and turn off your rainforest soundscape.
09:57I need to sleep.
09:58And I want to make sure you're okay.
10:01Do you mind shutting the hell up?
10:03Uh, yeah.
10:04I do mind, actually, because I have nowhere to go.
10:06And nobody wants to have seats with me, which never happens, so...
10:11Thank you.
10:16Fine.
10:16You can bunk with me.
10:17But I'm a very active sleeper, so don't crowd me or you might get punched.
10:35Daddy!
10:37Hi.
10:38Hi.
10:38Are you okay?
10:39Hi.
10:40Uh, what are you guys doing here?
10:42Let's go to the swimming pool.
10:43Hi, kids.
10:44I miss you so much.
10:45Oh, my God.
10:46You'll love this place.
10:47You have to come.
10:48I mean, I'm telling you, the only thing that's good about my life is my family.
10:51Guys, Daddy, uh, I had a lot to drink last night.
10:54Can you just...
10:55Shh.
10:55Thank you, Raquel St. James and Lieutenant Peaches.
10:58Uh, I'd also like to ask everyone else, please act respectfully to the nominees.
11:02It takes a lot of courage to get up here.
11:05Stop saying moose.
11:06It sounds like you're booing.
11:08Let's keep this a cootie train moving, huh?
11:10And now with our next nominee, Templeton Dodge, who has asked me to issue a strobe light warning
11:15to pregnant women and the weak.
11:18Okay, attention.
11:20You might learn something.
11:22Cue the fog.
11:31Daisy, cut the fog.
11:34I had a feast for the eyes plan, but tonight's about the animals, so I want to speak from the
11:38heart.
11:40Growing up, I had an awful dog named Buddy.
11:43Then, my mom got sick.
11:45No.
11:46Cue the strings.
11:48What the hell's happening?
11:50I don't...
11:51And it's like he knew that I needed him.
11:54He turned into the sweetest guy.
11:57And when my mom died, he...
11:59He never left my side that day.
12:01First he steals my bear rescue, then he steals my desk, and now he steals my dead mom?
12:06Sometimes when I'm in a field and I see a dog that looks like Buddy, I'm reminded of all
12:09the great things that animals do for us.
12:11So I try to do my best for them.
12:15Thank you.
12:20That's my sloth.
12:21You fed you my sloth.
12:23Let me get my sloth.
12:24Daisy must have stolen it off my phone.
12:27I sure did.
12:28I put that sleeping mug up to the face ID.
12:30Two, three, four, live.
12:33Oh, it did.
12:34Oh, it did.
12:34Oh, it did.
12:34Oh, it did.
12:34Let's bring up our final nominee, Frank Shaw.
12:38Yeah.
12:39I was supposed to follow that.
12:40That was the greatest of following myself.
12:42Woo-hoo.
12:44Woo-hoo.
12:46Woo-hoo.
12:49Woo-hoo.
12:49Woo-hoo.
12:49Woo-hoo.
12:51Woo-hoo.
12:54Woo-hoo.
12:56Woo-hoo.
12:59Woo-hoo.
13:05This is like watching an old man get confused at the post office.
13:08We're screwed.
13:09Seriously, you just gave me the award.
13:11He's kind of happy.
13:12I'm like, when the guy...
13:16Frank, this is not the time.
13:17Frank.
13:18Oh, no, no, no, no.
13:20Frank, I was joking when I see Tangled.
13:21Oh, shit.
13:22Oh, God, I can't watch.
13:23Is he getting naked?
13:25Oh, there it is.
13:30This guy's jacked.
13:32Woo-hoo.
13:38Woo-hoo.
13:39I mean, why did he do this to a little bit?
13:41Woo-hoo.
13:47And the Animal Control Officer of the Year is...
13:53Frank Shaw
14:02Once again, the hedonistic spirit of Bellium has spoken
14:07Officer Shaw
14:11Thank you, Pacific Northwest
14:16A few more bounces
14:30Hi
14:31Hi
14:31So, I didn't hear my name in your acceptance speech, which is crazy because I'm basically where you won
14:36My dedication to pro team is why I won, but thank you
14:39I think I saw the Portland team walking each other on leashes
14:42When I have tracks with people from Oregon, this thing gets messier every year
14:47Yeah, things happen here that maybe wouldn't happen at home
14:54Did you find a place to crash tonight?
14:56Table 12 grabbed me some molly, so I think I'm just going to dance until I pick up time tomorrow
15:09Hey, you got my text
15:11I was worried you weren't going to come
15:15Hotel rooms are off limits, but tiny little photo booths are okay
15:20I'm sorry, that was, I didn't mean it, that sounded bad
15:22No, no, no, I've been thinking a lot about what you said and I'm really sorry
15:29Because the truth is, you are just, in every way, completely
15:35Definitely worth the risk
15:37So I'm going to call my boss first thing on Monday
15:40Wait, really?
15:41Yeah, because I
15:44Well, I love you and
15:47I just want to be with you
15:49I love you too
15:51You sure you want to do this?
15:52Yeah
15:59Okay, okay, let's just stagger our entrances to be safe
16:01Because we're so close, so let's not mess up now
16:03Homestretch
16:04Okay
16:04Monday
16:06Okay
16:09I'll be good for my past boy photo
16:12Pardon me, folks
16:14Good to see you, good to see you
16:17Look at that!
16:21Oh!
16:25This is bad
16:27This is really bad
16:29I heard they're serving Sherber in a few minutes
16:35Something bad happened
16:39Oh my god
16:41How fast can we turn that into a poster?
16:43Business center's open 24-7
16:45Turn, turn, turn, turn
16:48Kids are finally asleep, who's ready to party?
16:51What?
16:54Oh my god
16:54Oh god, it's way
16:56I'm getting fired
16:56Oh my god, this is it
16:57I have to do something
17:00Don't worry, I'm going to save you
17:01Oh my god
17:05You are fired!
17:06Come on!
17:07This way!
17:08This way, the exit, this way!
17:09I thought I knew where this was
17:11It's okay
17:16It's okay
17:16Alright, see you
17:26Feels right
17:28Hey, congrats again, Frank
17:29And I don't say it enough, but
17:31You're my hero, man
18:01You say it all the time
18:02Um, yeah, I've been suspended
18:05Um, pending an investigation
18:06What?
18:07Wait, I consented
18:08It's okay
18:09I consented to the whole thing
18:10Yeah, um, this means there will be an interim supervisor
18:13Filling my position until, um, yeah, further notice
18:16Who's taking over?
18:18Uh, yeah, it's, um...
18:31I guess I did die in that dachshund parade
18:33I'm in hell
18:34And I'm still your god
18:36Will you be the devil?
18:37Will I be your boss?
18:45Meeting meetings won't be the same without you
18:46He's already threatening to ban meeting snacks
18:48Come on
18:49It's not goodbye, guys
18:50It's see you later
18:51Pending a thorough investigation
18:53An ethics board review
18:54And reinstatement confirmation
18:56From the mayor's office
18:57I just hope they don't subpoena our texts
18:59I sent you that Jessica Rabbit gift
19:00On your birthday
19:01I can't
19:02You're gonna be fine
19:02And in the meantime
19:03We'll make Templeton's life
19:04As hellish as possible
19:06I've already started
19:08Daisy, grab me a tire jack
19:10Flat
19:11Again
19:12Wait, is this what it's like
19:13To not be the boss?
19:14I kinda like it
19:15Can I throw something?
19:16I'd be disappointed if you didn't
19:19Okay
19:25I've never respected you more
19:26Love you
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