- 11 hours ago
Bad Witch (2021) [Full Movie] [Long Version]Full EP - Full
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Short filmTranscript
00:00:28Transcription by CastingWords
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00:02:09I don't know.
00:02:50Good morning.
00:02:52What time is it?
00:02:55Late.
00:02:57Tim is going to freak.
00:03:00I need a good excuse.
00:03:03Just tell him you're leaving him for a more handsome man.
00:03:10I'll see you later.
00:03:31I'll see you later.
00:03:37And I'll rise up from these ashes.
00:03:44But for now, I'm enjoying my blue, blue whiskey-colored glasses.
00:03:52In one way or another, she's going to get what she wants, and you're going to be wondering
00:03:54if it's yours.
00:03:55Hey, guys.
00:03:56Here's the name.
00:03:58Birthday, girl.
00:03:59Happy birthday.
00:04:00Hey, Trish.
00:04:01Yeah.
00:04:03She could topple over at any moment.
00:04:05Heels to a barbecue.
00:04:06Dude, all I'm saying is that I'll get her a little puppy.
00:04:10That's it.
00:04:11That's what you think.
00:04:12I already told you.
00:04:13As soon as she sees her friends popping out a couple, she's going to want one of her own.
00:04:17It's what always happens.
00:04:19It's not going to happen.
00:04:21Oh, damn it.
00:04:23She invited him?
00:04:26Oh.
00:04:27Happy birthday, beautiful girl, huh?
00:04:30Yeah.
00:04:37Play cool.
00:04:38Happy birthday, dear Trisha.
00:04:43Happy birthday to you.
00:05:06What are you doing here?
00:05:09What's the matter?
00:05:10You got shit in your ears?
00:05:13What is that?
00:05:15Some cliche bad guy shit you heard in an 80s movie?
00:05:26You come back here again, and I'll kill you.
00:05:30Are you sure you want to fuck with me?
00:05:33Hey.
00:05:35Is everything okay?
00:05:36Yeah.
00:05:38Everything's fine.
00:05:41We were just howling around.
00:05:44Yeah.
00:05:46Happy birthday.
00:05:54He's a nice guy, that's all.
00:05:56He's an idiot.
00:05:57No, he's not.
00:06:00Are you jealous?
00:06:02Oh, please.
00:06:02Like, you could do better than me anyways.
00:06:07Babe, I just thought you this.
00:06:08Sometimes you have to do better than me.
00:06:19I know.
00:06:24I know.
00:06:32I'm sorry.
00:06:33I know.
00:06:33I know.
00:06:35I know.
00:06:37I know.
00:06:37I don't know.
00:07:07I don't know.
00:07:41I don't know.
00:08:19I don't know.
00:08:49I don't know.
00:08:56I don't know.
00:09:28I don't know.
00:10:19I don't know.
00:10:22I don't know.
00:10:45I don't know.
00:10:46I don't know.
00:10:49I don't know.
00:11:21I don't know.
00:11:40I don't know.
00:11:45I don't know.
00:11:47I don't know.
00:11:48I don't know.
00:12:04I don't know.
00:12:17I don't know.
00:12:20I don't know.
00:12:22I don't know.
00:12:46I don't know.
00:13:06All right, man. I'll see ya.
00:13:08See ya.
00:13:10Have fun with the children.
00:13:11Oh, yeah, yeah. Little shitheads.
00:13:22Another day, another birthday cake.
00:13:27Do you feel that you have wished enough?
00:13:33Give a lot, give a lot of love.
00:13:39A shooting star is just above.
00:13:47Is it too late to die off?
00:13:58Is it too late to die off?
00:14:07My vision's unfocused, where am I going?
00:14:19Is it too late to die too soon?
00:14:23I want to...
00:14:26I want to...
00:14:26I want to...
00:14:28I want to...
00:15:02what are you doing
00:15:08you know now that you're not using you're gonna have to find a new way to make money
00:15:11oh you mean like get a job the diner's looking for help
00:15:19you're right you want a place to crash or not
00:15:26are you serious
00:16:04sup eronica long time i just saw you in biology you know what i mean
00:16:12anyways how's your story going pretty well actually
00:16:16yeah you know actually roland's writing this really cool story
00:16:19oh sick that's dope can you fuck off
00:16:29conrad what what he's lurking it's creepy
00:16:34so what are you doing for prom i don't know yet
00:16:39i can get us a limo oh a limo
00:16:42you won't regret it
00:16:47i'll think about it
00:16:49sounds good
00:16:50um anyways i've got to go big sister duty and everything so
00:17:04totally gonna tap that ass
00:17:08because that's just the thing that people say
00:17:10yes they do
00:17:14waiter waiter waiter
00:17:16yes sir yes
00:17:18can we please get some service
00:17:20sorry about that guys i'm sorry
00:17:21all right what can i get you
00:17:23well i was actually really in the mood for um
00:17:27a blowjob
00:17:28yeah
00:17:29from your mom
00:17:31it's funny guys
00:17:33maybe some scrambled eggs and milk
00:17:37hey you xander
00:17:40i am
00:17:41all right cool
00:17:44you got any experience
00:17:45none
00:17:46you like working with people
00:17:48nope
00:17:49can you wash dishes
00:17:53i guess
00:17:54great you start tomorrow
00:18:14come on kid
00:18:15what are you waiting for halloween
00:18:17dude i'm seriously doing my best over here
00:18:20use soap and water
00:18:22it's not that hard
00:18:50careful
00:18:53sorry but if frank catches you he's gonna lose his shit
00:18:56oh
00:18:58well
00:18:59frank can kiss my ass
00:19:10i'm rolling
00:19:12xander
00:19:14you work here long
00:19:15about a year
00:19:16it's okay
00:19:17it's my first day and i'd rather pick pieces of corn out of shit
00:19:22you get used to it
00:19:24can hardly wait
00:19:29i'm gonna go back inside
00:19:37hey roland
00:19:38yeah
00:19:40you know you ought to tell those guys that bother you to go fuck themselves
00:19:45thanks but i sort of don't want to die
00:20:08well that looks disgusting
00:20:10do you want to do the cooking
00:20:11nope that is your responsibility
00:20:16can't uh grab me one while you're at it huh
00:20:17yep
00:20:21thanks
00:20:21uh so coach thinks i have a pretty good chance of impressing the scouts next month
00:20:29no
00:20:29don't screw it up okay
00:20:33thanks uncle fred
00:20:35thank you for your support
00:20:36hey listen
00:20:36you want to get out of this shit hole town
00:20:38this is it
00:20:39i mean it
00:20:40don't screw it up
00:21:07hey dad
00:21:10let's bring in that history challenger
00:21:38let's bring in that history challenger
00:21:52oh
00:21:54oh
00:22:07But you know what happens to us
00:22:09when we stop using it.
00:22:15Oh, God.
00:22:48Let me get another.
00:22:50I think you've heard about 5,000.
00:22:52Come on, lady.
00:22:54Just one more.
00:22:59Hey, beautiful.
00:23:08I'm Xander.
00:23:13Melissa.
00:23:16Can I get you another beer you drink?
00:23:20Excuse me.
00:23:23What?
00:23:24You're in my seat, dickhead.
00:23:29Oh, I'm in your seat.
00:23:32My bad.
00:23:34Yeah.
00:23:35So get lost.
00:23:36Look, man.
00:23:37I don't want any trouble, okay?
00:23:39I was just having a friendly conversation
00:23:41with Melissa over here, and...
00:23:44You know, next drink's on me, huh?
00:23:46Hey, can I get another beer over here
00:23:49for my handsome friend?
00:23:52Fuck you.
00:23:53We're leaving.
00:23:54Let's go.
00:23:54I'm not ready.
00:24:04Look at this.
00:24:06Look at this.
00:24:08Come.
00:24:12Hey, can you turn the air on in here?
00:24:16It's on.
00:24:22Do you need to step outside?
00:24:26Sit up.
00:24:26I'm fine.
00:24:27You don't sound too funny.
00:24:31Babe, what is it?
00:24:33I don't know.
00:24:35Did you do this to me?
00:24:36What the fuck are you talking about?
00:24:39Oh, God.
00:24:41Yes.
00:24:44Yes.
00:24:45Yes.
00:24:45Oh, my God.
00:24:47Oh, fuck.
00:24:48Oh, what are you doing?
00:24:51Oh, stop it.
00:24:52Oh, no.
00:24:55Oh, this is disgusting.
00:25:04What the hell?
00:25:09Hey.
00:25:12I know a really good dermatologist.
00:25:15Did you do that?
00:25:20Oh, my God.
00:25:22That's so hot.
00:25:28Whoa.
00:25:29Whoa.
00:25:30Whoa, whoa, wait.
00:25:31Oh, yes.
00:25:55Dan, you're starting to stink.
00:26:02I'm just saying it wouldn't hurt to try.
00:26:06I'm trying. I am.
00:26:11Then when are you going to go back to work?
00:26:15I will.
00:26:18Just need some time.
00:26:20It's been almost two years, Dad.
00:26:23She left me, too.
00:26:25Yeah, I know.
00:26:30I think I just need some time.
00:26:43Can we at least get rid of that thing?
00:26:48Why?
00:26:49It's weird.
00:26:51It's cute.
00:26:53Whatever.
00:26:55She got that for me in West Virginia.
00:26:59It's precious.
00:27:01It's precious.
00:27:01It's precious.
00:27:04It's precious.
00:27:08It's precious.
00:27:09It's precious.
00:27:11It's precious.
00:27:14It's precious.
00:27:19It's precious.
00:27:21It's precious.
00:27:23It's precious.
00:27:25It's precious.
00:27:26It's precious.
00:27:28It's precious.
00:27:30It's precious.
00:27:31What happened?
00:27:34A street fight.
00:27:36Mysterious.
00:27:39Let me get your number.
00:27:41Why?
00:27:43So we can talk later.
00:27:48I don't know.
00:27:51I'm not really quite sure how I feel about women that are into face melting.
00:28:01Get the fuck out.
00:28:03All right, go!
00:28:05You asshole!
00:28:09I never texted you back.
00:28:12You just don't do that anymore.
00:28:15Watch it, watch it, watch it, watch it, watch it.
00:28:17Oh!
00:28:20Yes!
00:28:22Yes, clean up our aisle, douche!
00:28:28Hey.
00:28:30You okay, bud?
00:28:31Oh, you okay, buddy?
00:28:34You okay?
00:28:35Oh, he's all right.
00:28:35He's all right.
00:28:36He's good.
00:28:36He's good.
00:28:45You Conrad?
00:28:48Can I help you?
00:28:50How are those sores on your dick?
00:28:53If it still hurts to pee, I know a good urologist.
00:28:56Yo, who is this guy?
00:28:59I don't know.
00:29:00I mean, what were you thinking?
00:29:02Messing around with that chick in her parents' basement last year before Christmas?
00:29:06You gotta wrap that shit up, dude.
00:29:25You really shouldn't stigmatize STIs like that.
00:29:39Hey.
00:29:41Roland, right?
00:29:44You need a ride?
00:29:48Come on.
00:29:52Hey, thanks for rubbing me out today.
00:29:54Don't worry about it, man.
00:29:56Happy to help.
00:29:59Do you want to come in?
00:30:02Nah.
00:30:02I got a lot of stuff to do today.
00:30:04Yeah.
00:30:05Oh, yeah.
00:30:06It's not going to be funny, you know, to play video games or whatever, but you know what?
00:30:09Never mind.
00:30:10Doesn't matter.
00:30:11I will see you tomorrow.
00:30:15You know what?
00:30:17Why not?
00:30:18Yeah?
00:30:20Sure thing.
00:30:22Okay.
00:30:23Awesome.
00:30:26So you got any booze in here or what?
00:30:29Uh, my dad does.
00:30:31Where's your dad?
00:30:32He's probably at a bar.
00:30:35Perfect.
00:30:38What?
00:30:40You're kind of being a shitty host right now, you know.
00:30:43I can't give you my dad's beer.
00:30:46Come on.
00:30:48Yeah, I'll take care of it.
00:30:49It'll be okay.
00:30:50Go.
00:30:51Go.
00:30:52Go.
00:30:56Hey, by the way, is that Veronica chick?
00:31:00She's pretty hot.
00:31:02I know.
00:31:05So why aren't you, you know?
00:31:08My man.
00:31:10Ha.
00:31:11Yeah, right.
00:31:17My man.
00:31:22Nice.
00:31:29Oh, I'm good.
00:31:33Hey, Roland, take the beer.
00:31:45Cheers.
00:31:46Yay.
00:31:52Oh, that's disgusting.
00:31:56Oh.
00:31:58What the fuck is that thing?
00:32:07What?
00:32:11What is this, an owl?
00:32:14It's my dad's owl.
00:32:17Can you just put it down, please?
00:32:20Shit.
00:32:29I'm sorry, man.
00:32:32Oh, my dad is going to freak.
00:32:36My mom got that for him on their honeymoon to West Virginia.
00:32:39West Virginia?
00:32:43Look, man.
00:32:45It's okay.
00:32:46I can fix this.
00:32:47I swear.
00:32:49Look, do you have anything that belonged to your mom made of cloth?
00:32:56Yeah, I got something.
00:32:59Oh, yeah, this will work.
00:33:00Yeah, it's the towel my mom used to dry herself with.
00:33:03My dad doesn't want to wash it.
00:33:05Gross.
00:33:10All right.
00:33:13Okay.
00:33:18Pistachio.
00:33:20Repario.
00:33:37Are you a magician?
00:33:43Roland?
00:33:46I'm a witch.
00:33:47A warlock?
00:33:49No.
00:33:50A witch.
00:33:51Oh, a wizard.
00:33:53No.
00:33:55I said a witch.
00:33:59But, no, no way.
00:34:00That's impossible.
00:34:02How did you do this?
00:34:04Can you just get it?
00:34:05Can you get it?
00:34:05I'm a witch, okay?
00:34:07Bullshit.
00:34:09No bullshit.
00:34:14What the hell, dude?
00:34:17I just wanted to see if you'd melt.
00:34:21Come here.
00:34:23Hey, I need those.
00:34:24I need...
00:34:28I got news for you, pal.
00:34:30Wait until tomorrow.
00:34:32You're not going to need them then.
00:34:33What am I supposed to read with tonight?
00:34:38Do yourself a favor.
00:34:39Watch some porn.
00:34:58I'm not going to be.
00:35:03I'm not going to be.
00:35:30I can see.
00:35:32I can see.
00:35:32I mean, I can see we got my glasses on.
00:35:37Whoa.
00:35:38You really are a witch.
00:35:43So I still don't get it.
00:35:44Why are you called a witch and not a wizard or a warlock?
00:35:47Listen, man.
00:35:48Why is a zebra called a zebra and not just a horse with fucking stripes?
00:35:57Look, I'm only telling you this because, frankly, I was like you once.
00:36:03Like me?
00:36:04Yeah, a virgin.
00:36:07Okay, I can't really explain the feeling that you get when you cast a spell, but it's the best.
00:36:14It's better than sex.
00:36:16This is why I need this to stay between you and me, because if my roommate finds out about this,
00:36:22he'll kill me.
00:36:23But it's why I'm going to help you.
00:36:24Yeah?
00:36:25Yeah.
00:36:26So next time Conrad comes into the diner, put that shit in his food.
00:36:31What'll this do to him?
00:36:37Pretty much make his life miserable.
00:36:50Does your burger taste funny?
00:36:53No.
00:36:55All right.
00:36:57I can't believe I got a D on that paper.
00:37:00I mean, I've never gotten anything below a B before.
00:37:03Maybe you're just stupid.
00:37:06What?
00:37:07Yeah, you are.
00:37:08I mean, maybe you're just plain old dumb.
00:37:13I mean, you're hot, but there's just, like, not that much going on in your head.
00:37:16Dude, shut up.
00:37:17Well, I just, I just can't wait to get to prom so I can bang you and move on with
00:37:22my life.
00:37:25Conrad, stop.
00:37:26I mean, then again, according to Paul Mason, you're kind of disappointing.
00:37:38What, what, what, what just happened?
00:37:40Holy shit.
00:37:44What?
00:37:45I think there's a zit on your forehead.
00:37:59And you can forget about that whole, when you're a witch, whatever you do comes back
00:38:04at you, times three thing, it's bullshit.
00:38:16Brother, gonna be a teacher one day, yeah, he's gonna show you what it's all about.
00:38:21You're gonna be an expert on everything.
00:38:23You're gonna break your mind and let the knowledge out of all.
00:38:25Brother, gonna be a teacher one day, yeah, he's gonna show you what it's all about.
00:38:29I like this.
00:38:30It's getting complicated, cause you know it, but I can't explain it.
00:38:33We're gonna, we're gonna, we're gonna...
00:38:35Yeah, it's getting ready for this job, okay.
00:38:36We're gonna, we're gonna, we're gonna, we're gonna.
00:38:38We're gonna be an expert on mama things.
00:38:40She gonna make a mama's mama proud, oh.
00:38:42She gonna be a mama one day, yeah, she gonna show you what it's all about.
00:38:46I like this, that it's complicated, cause you know it, but I can't explain it.
00:38:54Yes!
00:38:59Okay.
00:39:00Oh!
00:39:08No, you didn't want to hurt nobody
00:39:10No, you did whatever that you thought was good
00:39:12I know you're trying to fix it like everybody
00:39:14Trying to make a home out of a neighborhood
00:39:17No, you didn't want to hurt nobody
00:39:19No, you did whatever that you thought was good
00:39:21I guess it's not as complicated
00:39:23Cause I know it, but I can't explain it
00:39:28Oh, I can't explain it
00:39:46He's got a beautiful smile
00:39:49Thank you
00:39:50Thank you
00:40:12Where is it?
00:40:27Damn it
00:40:34What the hell are you doing?
00:40:37Uh, nothing
00:40:41P.E. assignment
00:40:53What made you think you could fly?
00:40:55I don't know
00:40:57It's not what witches do
00:40:58Roland, I can't even fly
00:41:00Well, I'm an idiot
00:41:02What the hell are you doing anyway?
00:41:04Trying to make a healing potion
00:41:08It smells really bad
00:41:11Tastes even worse
00:41:13Like Bigfoot's jockstrap
00:41:17Down the hatch
00:41:21Well?
00:41:24Well, I don't seem to be hatefully shitting yet
00:41:27So, I guess we'll find out tomorrow
00:41:30Have I ever turned someone into something else?
00:41:32Like an object?
00:41:33I read this fairy tale once
00:41:34Called The Old Witch
00:41:35It's about this spoiled little girl
00:41:36Who gets turned into a log by a hat witch
00:41:39I'm sorry
00:41:39Can I just ask you one question?
00:41:41Yeah, sure
00:41:44What comes to your mind
00:41:45When I say the word boob?
00:41:51You answered it
00:42:07I think this is gonna work
00:42:09Relax, it's gonna work
00:42:11Are you sure?
00:42:12I mean, you've done this kind of thing before, right?
00:42:15No
00:42:17Xander
00:42:17Hey
00:42:19Have I ever steered you wrong?
00:42:22Yes
00:42:25Don't have to be a dick about it
00:42:30Well?
00:42:31I don't recognize the number
00:42:32So, answer it then
00:42:38Hello?
00:42:43Yeah, yeah
00:42:43Veronica
00:42:44I'm still here
00:42:53Conrad
00:42:54What the hell are you doing in there?
00:42:56Give me a minute
00:42:58What are you coming out?
00:42:59Give me a second
00:43:00Oh, shit
00:43:06Oh, shit
00:43:09Oh, shit
00:43:12Oh, God
00:43:26All right
00:43:32Um, hey
00:43:34Can we, uh, can we talk?
00:43:38There you go
00:43:43So, uh, you have any trouble finding the place?
00:43:46Uh, no
00:43:47Why would I?
00:43:49Why would I?
00:43:50You hungry?
00:43:55You sure?
00:44:00How about a movie?
00:44:03Listen
00:44:04Um, I've been thinking a lot, um, about you
00:44:12About me
00:44:14Well
00:44:16You're like the only guy in school who
00:44:19Who what?
00:44:21Who isn't a complete asshole
00:44:23I, I don't know
00:44:24Well
00:44:25I do
00:44:27I mean
00:44:29People just
00:44:31They just treat me like the pretty girl
00:44:33Very pretty
00:44:34I mean, not
00:44:35That's what matters
00:44:36Sorry
00:44:38It's, it's okay
00:44:40Relax
00:44:48Um
00:44:49You've, uh
00:44:50You've never done that before, have you?
00:44:52I mean, why
00:44:52Was it that obvious?
00:44:57But, listen
00:44:58I'm
00:45:00I'm not
00:45:01What they say I am
00:45:02I don't believe anything they say
00:45:05I mean
00:45:06Like, I've never even
00:45:09Look, I know what they say about me
00:45:11And it's
00:45:12It's not true
00:45:16But
00:45:17If I were to
00:45:20Be with someone
00:45:22Um
00:45:24I'd want it to be you
00:45:30I'm sorry
00:45:31I can't do this
00:45:32What's wrong?
00:45:33I'm sorry, Veronica
00:45:34This is a mistake
00:45:34You need to go
00:45:35But, Roland
00:45:36Just go
00:45:41Fuck
00:45:44Fuck
00:45:45Fuck
00:45:49Fuck
00:45:52Fuck
00:46:06What are you doing?
00:46:08Look what you left out
00:46:10Mastering the art of sex spells
00:46:13Classy
00:46:14Oh, shit, man
00:46:15How's it working for you?
00:46:18I'm not using it
00:46:19I swear
00:46:19No?
00:46:21No
00:46:21No, I met this kid named Roland
00:46:23And he reminded me of how we were in high school
00:46:25And
00:46:25What?
00:46:26Roland?
00:46:27Roland Grimm?
00:46:27Yeah
00:46:28Fuck you, man
00:46:29I was nothing like that kid in high school
00:46:31I was just trying to help him out
00:46:34You know
00:46:35With all the bullies
00:46:37And the other joys of being a teenager
00:46:39What is this?
00:46:40Revenge of the witches?
00:46:41You made a deal with me
00:46:43You weren't gonna use that shit anymore
00:46:44I'm not using
00:46:45I'm just teaching him
00:46:47What happened to witchcraft can't be taught?
00:46:52Henry
00:46:53Henry, he can handle it
00:46:56You weren't ready
00:46:58Who always had your back in high school?
00:47:01You did, and I appreciate it
00:47:02And I appreciate you telling me how to be responsible, you fucking psycho
00:47:06Henry
00:47:07I need you to trust me
00:47:08No, why?
00:47:09You just shut the fuck up
00:47:11You're full of shit, Xander
00:47:20Witch
00:47:23Witch
00:47:23Witch
00:47:24Witch
00:47:25Witch
00:47:44Oh, uh, hey.
00:47:46Hey, you got a minute?
00:47:48Um, sure.
00:47:55So, Roland, this is my brother, Jack.
00:47:59Step brother.
00:48:00Shut up.
00:48:01Nice to meet you, Jack.
00:48:04So, what's up?
00:48:12Um, I just wanted to apologize for this past weekend.
00:48:15What are you talking about?
00:48:17Um, you came to my house, and we, uh, did things.
00:48:23Well, I mean, we almost did things.
00:48:25Roland, are you on drugs?
00:48:29No, seriously, are you?
00:48:34Never mind.
00:48:35Doesn't matter.
00:48:38Um, I know the answer's probably no, and you already have a date, but do you want to go to
00:48:41prom with me?
00:48:43Okay.
00:48:55Dude.
00:48:57What happened?
00:48:59What am I supposed to do, man?
00:49:02You can't play like this on Saturday.
00:49:10Shit.
00:49:13I used to be so hot, so I guess right now is not a good time to tell you about
00:49:20Grant.
00:49:21What about that piece of shit?
00:49:25He's taking Veronica to prom.
00:49:30You okay?
00:49:35Do me a favor.
00:49:37Kick his ass.
00:50:06Good morning, son.
00:50:07Dad, hey.
00:50:10Well, I better get going.
00:50:11I don't want to be late for my interview.
00:50:13You have an interview?
00:50:16You have a good day at school.
00:50:17I'll see you when I get home.
00:50:19Yeah, okay.
00:50:27Hans?
00:50:28What are you...
00:50:35What's this?
00:50:36Hans, give it back.
00:50:37Please.
00:50:38Conrad's gonna love this.
00:50:40Hans, stop.
00:50:42Oh.
00:50:45Oh.
00:50:46Oh.
00:51:08Hey, buddy.
00:51:09What's up?
00:51:10Hans found out we're witches.
00:51:13Hey, Conrad, call me back as soon as you get this.
00:51:16It's about Grimm.
00:51:17He's into some voodoo-type shit.
00:51:28Give yourself a bigger penis.
00:51:34What the fuck?
00:51:47Hans, buddy.
00:51:50No.
00:51:51Wait, wait, wait.
00:51:51Come on.
00:51:54What do you want?
00:51:55We have a little proposal for you.
00:51:59Fine.
00:52:02You know you're not getting the book.
00:52:04I'm telling the whole school about you.
00:52:07Here's the thing, Hans.
00:52:09You give us our book back, we'll help you out.
00:52:12You?
00:52:13Help me?
00:52:15I'm kind of like the Al Capone of witches.
00:52:19Who?
00:52:20Never mind.
00:52:21Look, do you really want Conrad to know that you hooked up with Christy Becker last year?
00:52:26What?
00:52:27Do you also want him to know that you secretly hate him?
00:52:31Because he gets more attention from the girls at the parties?
00:52:35Don't lie to me.
00:52:36You daydream about his face getting run over by a tractor trailer.
00:52:42Granted, I think you're slightly more handsome.
00:52:45But that's just my humble opinion.
00:52:48I...
00:52:49I don't know what you're talking about.
00:52:53Oh!
00:52:54Oh!
00:52:56That's cool, man.
00:52:58Damn, I didn't...
00:52:59I didn't know.
00:53:00What?
00:53:04You think about Conrad sometimes when you jerk off?
00:53:10All right, get the fuck out of my house.
00:53:13All right.
00:53:14Calm down.
00:53:15We're just here to help.
00:53:19This will solve all of your insecurities.
00:53:23Who said I was insecure?
00:53:25Witchcraft, Hans.
00:53:26Witchcraft.
00:53:27And if you drink this, then all the girls and the guys will find you irresistible.
00:53:32And I mean like, oh my God, there goes Hans.
00:53:35He's so hot.
00:53:36I just want to lick the stinky, smelly sweat out of his armpits.
00:53:46What's the catch?
00:53:48You give us the book, and keep your mouth shut.
00:53:53Deal.
00:54:05What's it supposed to do to him?
00:54:07He's supposed to forget everything.
00:54:15Is it working?
00:54:17Because I feel like shit.
00:54:18I feel like shit.
00:54:53Are you sure you did that right?
00:54:56I mean, I did snort some blow before I made the potion, but...
00:55:01Yeah.
00:55:03Seriously?
00:55:04No.
00:55:05How irresponsible do you think I am?
00:55:08Just a little weed, though.
00:55:10Santa!
00:55:11Santa!
00:55:21What happened to him?
00:55:25Hell if I know.
00:55:32Nice going, fairy godmother.
00:55:35It'll keep him quiet, at least.
00:55:37No, we have to turn him back.
00:55:40Do we really?
00:55:42Yes.
00:55:43I mean, I hate him, too, but we can't keep him like this.
00:55:46There is a way to reverse this, right?
00:55:49Yeah, I guess.
00:55:51It's just a lot of work.
00:55:52Okay, then let's go.
00:56:04Oh, fuck.
00:56:10Oh, shit.
00:56:12Yeah.
00:56:13Oh, yeah.
00:56:15Yeah, no, he's dead.
00:56:17What is it?
00:56:19Santa, what do we do?
00:56:21I don't know.
00:56:25We just killed someone.
00:56:27Hey, hey.
00:56:30Let's get it together, huh?
00:56:32Let's think of something here.
00:56:33When do his parents come home?
00:56:35We can clean all this shit up, and nobody will know anything to happen.
00:56:39No, no, no.
00:56:40We have to bring him back.
00:56:41We have to bring him back.
00:56:42Roland, we can't bring him back.
00:56:45Yeah, but what I mean?
00:56:45We're witches.
00:56:46We can do anything, right?
00:56:47Buddy.
00:56:49We can't bring him back.
00:56:52And if we did, we wouldn't be doing him any favors.
00:56:58He'd come back as a monster.
00:57:05Oh, shit.
00:57:12Are you good with the shovel?
00:57:14What?
00:57:15What?
00:57:22That's good.
00:57:24No, I mean, I can't.
00:57:25I can't.
00:57:29I can't.
00:57:59You're a hot dog.
00:58:00You're a hot dog.
00:58:00You need to relax, Roland.
00:58:04We're so fucked.
00:58:09You just killed someone.
00:58:12I know, man.
00:58:15But think about it.
00:58:18Hans was just gonna end up being some serial killer or rapist anyway, so it's fine.
00:58:24Xander, stop it.
00:58:27I don't think we should be witches anymore.
00:58:31What we did to Hans was really wrong.
00:58:37I know.
00:58:38I know, man, but it was a mistake.
00:58:40Yeah, okay, so no more witchcraft.
00:58:42At least not for a while.
00:58:45Xander?
00:58:51All right, man.
00:58:53No more witchcraft.
00:59:05Conrad, get it together.
00:59:08I'm not playing this weekend.
00:59:10Are you kidding?
00:59:11I feel like complete shit.
00:59:14So we'll go to the doctor?
00:59:16Uncle Fred.
00:59:18Look at me.
00:59:20I can't play like this.
00:59:29Hey, Conrad.
00:59:30Call me back as soon as you get this.
00:59:31It's about Grim.
00:59:33He's into some voodoo type shit.
00:59:36What's that all about?
00:59:39He's probably just drunk or something.
01:00:05Hey.
01:00:08So how's your story going?
01:00:10It's okay.
01:00:11I'm kind of taking a break from it right now.
01:00:13Why?
01:00:14It sounded interesting.
01:00:15Yeah, there's better things to write about than witches.
01:00:17Like what?
01:00:18I don't know.
01:00:20Vampires?
01:00:21Werewolves?
01:00:21Psycho soccer moms?
01:00:23You know, my mom was a psycho soccer mom.
01:00:25Really?
01:00:26Mm-hmm.
01:00:27Even though I hated soccer.
01:00:29I'd always get hit in the face with a ball and everyone would laugh at me and I was like,
01:00:33you know what?
01:00:33This is why I'll stick with cheerleading.
01:00:35You know, you're good at other things.
01:00:37Oh, yeah?
01:00:38Yeah, I remember freshman year when Andrea Quinney called you a whore and you gave her
01:00:41two black eyes.
01:00:43So I'm good at cheerleading and sticking up for myself.
01:00:46Big deal.
01:00:46It is a big deal.
01:00:48Seriously.
01:00:48You've got a lot going for you.
01:00:50Thanks, Roland.
01:00:53Actually, there's something I need to tell you.
01:00:56What?
01:00:57Remember the night you came over to my house?
01:01:00No, of course not.
01:01:01Why would you?
01:01:02My friend Xander and I, we kind of cast a spell on you.
01:01:06You're losing me here, Roland.
01:01:07Xander and I, we're witches.
01:01:09Witches?
01:01:10Look, I know this is going to sound really out there, but the point is we cast a spell
01:01:14on you to make you like me and you and I almost had sex.
01:01:16We didn't.
01:01:17I swear.
01:01:18What?
01:01:19I just wanted you to like me.
01:01:20So you put a fucking rape spell on me?
01:01:23Look, I swear nothing happened between us, okay?
01:01:26I just...
01:01:27You said some things, and I don't know if it was the spell or what, but it felt so real.
01:01:33So how am I supposed to know that me liking you now isn't bullshit?
01:01:36Because I canceled the spell, okay?
01:01:38I am done with witchcraft.
01:01:40You know, I knew you were weird, but wow.
01:01:43No, Veronica, please.
01:01:44I'm sorry.
01:01:46I'm sorry.
01:01:49Fuck.
01:02:10Can I help you?
01:02:12Are you Roland Grimm?
01:02:14I'm Detective Proctor.
01:02:15I'd like to speak with you.
01:02:19Do you know this kid?
01:02:22Uh, he goes to my high school.
01:02:25His parents reported him missing two days ago.
01:02:28Yeah.
01:02:29Yeah?
01:02:30You mean you knew that already?
01:02:32No, I meant nothing.
01:02:34I'm sorry.
01:02:34It's been a long week.
01:02:36Are you friends with Hans?
01:02:38Yes.
01:02:40Really?
01:02:42Kind of.
01:02:43Well, not according to Conrad Miller.
01:02:45I just got done talking to him.
01:02:47He said that Hans left him a voicemail about you.
01:02:51A very strange voicemail.
01:02:53He did.
01:02:54Yeah, he said you're into voodoo.
01:02:56You do voodoo, Roland?
01:02:59Witchcraft, black magic?
01:03:02It's not that taboo these days.
01:03:04My niece is a Wiccan.
01:03:06He's probably just confused.
01:03:08I'm currently working on a project on the Salem witch trial, so...
01:03:13Really?
01:03:15I promise, sir.
01:03:17I am no witch.
01:03:29Hey, stranger.
01:03:30We're fucked.
01:03:39I knew we wouldn't get away with this.
01:03:40We're fucking murderers.
01:03:41Hey.
01:03:43First of all, it was a complete accident.
01:03:46And second of all, how's anybody gonna find out now?
01:03:50It still doesn't feel right.
01:03:52No, I know, but this isn't Salem.
01:03:54Nobody's gonna put us on trial for witchcraft.
01:03:58Can you please sit down and have a drink?
01:04:02No.
01:04:03We're done.
01:04:05I don't wanna be your friend anymore.
01:04:07What?
01:04:08Okay, Hans is dead.
01:04:10Veronica hates me now.
01:04:12And everything is going to shit because of you.
01:04:16Roland.
01:04:17Come on.
01:04:20Come on, Roland.
01:04:21I said I wouldn't use witchcraft, and I haven't.
01:04:24I kept my word.
01:04:27It has nothing to do with black magic or witchcraft or whatever you wanna call it.
01:04:30It's you.
01:04:33What do you mean?
01:04:34I mean, you don't fucking care about anybody besides yourself.
01:04:52Mr. Hunter, what's going on?
01:04:54I know I sound delusional, but it's true.
01:04:58There's no such thing as witchcraft.
01:05:06Why do you think Conrad here is turning into the fucking Elephant Man, huh?
01:05:09They put a spell on him.
01:05:11That's impossible.
01:05:13Uncle Fred, remember the voicemail from Hans?
01:05:17You're not gonna hear from Hans ever again.
01:05:19They did something to him, too.
01:05:21Not that I really care.
01:05:22Kid was a pain in the ass.
01:05:24What?
01:05:25Let's say this is all true.
01:05:28Why are you the whistleblower?
01:05:29Well, it's simple.
01:05:30I need $10,000.
01:05:33You're crazy.
01:05:34Okay.
01:05:35Have fun looking like Shrek at prom, kid.
01:05:37Wait, wait, wait.
01:05:40Uncle Fred.
01:05:43You have the money.
01:05:45Shut up.
01:05:50So, how do we get rid of this Hex?
01:05:53You could just kill Xander with a gun, but that won't take off any of the spells he's cast.
01:05:57Damn, Mr. Hunter, you really went all out on this.
01:06:02Crushing.
01:06:02Pretty simple.
01:06:03Tie him to a board.
01:06:04Put a bunch of stones and rocks on top.
01:06:06He stops breathing.
01:06:07Ooh, yeah, yeah.
01:06:08I like that one.
01:06:09Mmm.
01:06:12Hanging.
01:06:12Find a noose.
01:06:13Put it around his neck.
01:06:14Tie it to a tree.
01:06:15Dead.
01:06:18Burning at the stake.
01:06:19The most popular way to kill a witch.
01:06:21Tie him to a piece of wood.
01:06:22Pour gasoline all over him.
01:06:23And light that motherfucker.
01:06:25Well, what about drowning?
01:06:26Not gonna work.
01:06:29If Xander really is a witch, which he is, he'll float.
01:06:33Cool friend.
01:06:35What do you think?
01:06:41Burn, witch, burn.
01:06:49Where's Roland been?
01:06:51I don't think I'm gonna see him anymore.
01:06:53But I thought you liked him.
01:06:56It's complicated.
01:07:00I thought he was a lot better than the other witch at school.
01:07:05You're right.
01:07:05He was.
01:07:14Hey.
01:07:16Ow!
01:07:17Now we're even.
01:07:18Dad.
01:07:20So...
01:07:21You promised you reversed the spell?
01:07:24I promised.
01:07:25I would never do that to you.
01:07:34You really wanna go, don't you?
01:07:37I don't wanna be here anymore.
01:07:38So, I'm guessing you heard about Hans?
01:07:41Hans?
01:07:42Yeah.
01:07:43He went missing.
01:07:45Oh, wow.
01:07:47Maybe he ran away.
01:07:49Yeah.
01:07:50Maybe.
01:07:52I don't know.
01:07:52His parents must be worried sick.
01:07:56Yeah, I can't imagine.
01:07:57You're right.
01:07:58You're right.
01:07:59Simon.
01:07:59I can't believe...
01:08:28Hey, man.
01:08:29What's going on?
01:08:30Hey, man.
01:08:31I totally overreacted the other day.
01:08:35That's all right.
01:08:36You know, I'm probably gonna give this witchcraft thing up for good this time.
01:08:39Really?
01:08:40Well, that's great.
01:08:41Yeah, I mean, I think the side effects are gonna wear off eventually.
01:08:51Oh, man.
01:08:56Oh, man.
01:09:04Oh, my God.
01:09:05You're so great, tell me.
01:09:05Okay, because I want to put my eyes on this one.
01:09:05Oh, man.
01:09:06Oh.
01:09:06Oh, man.
01:09:06Oh, man.
01:09:06Oh, man.
01:09:06Oh, man.
01:09:07Oh, man.
01:09:08Oh, man, eh.
01:09:08Oh, man.
01:09:10Oh, man.
01:09:15Do you guys mind? This is going to be kind of awkward.
01:09:28Henry?
01:09:29Dammit, how do I do this?
01:09:33The point is, I love you, man.
01:09:35I do. You're my buddy.
01:09:38But I really, really love my house.
01:09:41Plus, can you even begin to imagine what a foreclosure would do to my credit?
01:09:47But more importantly, did you really think that I would not care?
01:09:54After all I've done for you,
01:09:56that some pathetic, nerdy teenager comes along and suddenly witchcraft can be taught?
01:10:02What about me, hmm? Your best fucking friend?
01:10:05Henry, you don't understand. It's not that simple.
01:10:08No, no, no. I don't care anymore.
01:10:11I don't understand. I really don't.
01:10:18I'll be very nice and slow.
01:10:26Henry?
01:10:28Henry?
01:10:29Henry, please come back!
01:10:31Oh, shit.
01:10:34Step through, Theo.
01:10:35No, no, no!
01:10:36Come on.
01:10:37Come on.
01:10:38Come on.
01:10:40Come on.
01:10:41Come on.
01:11:15Roland.
01:11:17Roland.
01:11:19Roland.
01:11:21Roland.
01:11:21Roland, Roland.
01:11:22Where are you?
01:11:24Roland, it's Xander.
01:11:25Please help.
01:11:26Roland, please.
01:11:28Take care.
01:11:28They could've killed her.
01:11:29They could've killed her.
01:11:31They could've killed her.
01:11:44Veronica, we have to go.
01:11:46What's wrong?
01:11:47It's Xander. Conrad's gonna hurt him.
01:11:49Conrad?
01:11:50Do you remember when I told you about Xander and I being witches?
01:11:53Yeah.
01:11:55Well, Hans found out.
01:11:57Wait, you know where Hans is?
01:11:58Sort of, yes.
01:12:00Roland, what did you do?
01:12:02He was gonna use it against us.
01:12:04So Xander tried to cast a spell to keep him quiet, but...
01:12:09Hans is dead.
01:12:10You killed him?
01:12:12It was an accident.
01:12:13Oh yeah, like the spell you cast on me.
01:12:14Veronica, please.
01:12:16Okay, we have to help him.
01:12:18He's my only friend.
01:12:20Please, just trust me.
01:12:35Again, Xander, really sorry about all this, buddy.
01:12:38Do me a favor, alright?
01:12:39Don't curse my future family or anything like that.
01:12:42You guys tend to do that a lot in the movies.
01:13:01Alright, Frederick, I'm heading out.
01:13:03I prefer cash if you don't mind.
01:13:05Cash?
01:13:05Yeah, of course.
01:13:18ten grand you out of your fucking mind
01:13:27okay good well now my college fund is safe come on con let's get this shit over with
01:13:46you
01:14:08Comrade, don't...
01:14:11Comrade!
01:14:39Come on.
01:14:43Come on.
01:14:45Come on.
01:14:48Come on.
01:14:59Come on.
01:15:01No.
01:15:03Sit there.
01:15:04Sit there.
01:15:06No!
01:15:08No!
01:15:08No.
01:15:13No!
01:15:14No!
01:15:15No!
01:15:18No!
01:15:21No!
01:15:24No!
01:15:25No!
01:15:26No!
01:15:27No!
01:15:30No!
01:15:43Carol!
01:16:08Abracadabra, motherfucker.
01:16:42What are we supposed to tell the cops?
01:16:48We're not telling them anything.
01:16:51As far as I'm concerned, I've never lived in this town.
01:16:57But, but, but you're a witch.
01:16:58Can't you, can't you bring him back?
01:17:03Can't you reverse all this shit?
01:17:11It would be a big mistake.
01:17:18I'm sorry.
01:17:39I feel like I got wind and growing up.
01:17:46I feel like the top of the top of the top of the top
01:18:40Rasta Conspira, Life Conjura.
01:18:44Rasta Conspira, Life Conjura.
01:18:47Rasta Conspira, Life Conjura.
01:19:16Rasta Conspira, Life Conjura.
01:19:32Rasta Conspira, Life Conjura.
01:20:19Rasta Conspira, Life Conjura.
01:20:21Rasta Conspira, Life Conjura.
01:20:23Rasta Conspira, Life Conjura.
01:20:45Rasta Conspira, Life Conjura.
01:20:49Rasta Conspira, Life Conjura.
01:21:23Rasta Conspira, Life Conjura.
01:21:28Rasta Conspira, Life Conjura.
01:21:46Rasta Conspira, Life Conjura.
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