- 2 days ago
Ghosts - Season 5 (2021) - Episode 05: T-Daddy
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00:13I'm sorry, what are we...
00:14Shh, shh. Don't talk while we're waiting for the gurgle.
00:19It's very rude.
00:20Sorry.
00:28Will it definitely be today?
00:30No.
00:42Oh! I heard it!
00:45Oh, I heard the gurgle!
00:47Oh, wow!
00:54What does she mean she doesn't want it?
00:56Are you sure you don't want to keep the car, Abby?
00:58Trevor's just having a little trouble wrapping his head around anyone turning down a free Porsche.
01:02It's a very kind gesture. I just, um, the car is a little bit, uh...
01:08Douchey?
01:08Exactly.
01:09Douchey? The founder of Hooters drove one of these. It is pure class.
01:14I can't get over the fact that a ghost has Porsche money. We're barely scraping by.
01:18I didn't add guac to my Chipotle order last night.
01:21Also, honestly, it's just way too expensive, GD. GD's short for ghost dad.
01:26I suppose it's better than fished out of a lake dad.
01:30Okay, so I swung big. But I missed out on the first 25 years of her life.
01:35I mean, amortized over 200 nights of Hanukkah? This is barely anything.
01:38Anyway, I should get to work, because I don't like being more than one hour late for my shift.
01:42You know I'm your boss, right?
01:44Yeah, but GD pays my salary.
01:48Ooh, she's selectively entitled. I like it.
01:51So, you need help returning the car now, Trevor?
01:53I'm not returning this car, Sam. Have you heard of depreciation?
01:57I sell this, I'm gonna take a bath. No, no. I'll keep it.
02:00You can't drive.
02:01Whatever. It'll be my sitting Porsche.
02:04Feel that supple leather on my beard to this.
02:07What's he saying?
02:09He's gonna keep it as his sitting Porsche.
02:11Again, no guac. None. Guac-less.
02:18Chef, I hate to do this, but, uh, I gotta talk to you about that race again.
02:24Oh, sorry, Cobra. It's not really a good time.
02:27I'm gonna pinch. Dolphins blew my parlay, and I need some scratch.
02:31He's going to Turkey to get a hair transplant.
02:33You hate when gambling is your cover story.
02:35You did say after three months, you would evaluate our salaries.
02:38I'm with Amanda. You need to pay these people a living wage, Jeremiah.
02:43I thought we'd be in a better position than we are today, but unfortunately, we're not.
02:47Look, we're all hurting. I ate a very dry burrito last night.
02:51Ooh, a dry burrito? That's harsh. I'm back on Jeremiah's side.
02:56We had so many unexpected expenses. I had to fix the roof because the stripper crashed through it.
03:01That's an image I'll never get out of my head. The blood, the glitter, the penis straws strewn about.
03:06We don't talk about it in front of you guys, but Sam and I are barely keeping our heads above
03:10water.
03:12I'm sorry, boss. I didn't know.
03:15If you sign up for the rewards program, Burrito Barn gives you free guac on National Avocado Day.
03:20Well, thank you, Gabe. That doesn't solve the bigger problem, but I will be doing that.
03:27Look at this thing. So ostentatious. I'm going to move it around back.
03:32Trevor says it has over 500 horses in it.
03:36My only question is, how do they crush the bones into such perfectly rounded curves?
03:41I don't get fancy cars. I just want something that gets me from point A to point B.
03:48Wow. The seat really hugs you.
03:50Yes. Embrace the opulence.
03:53Oh my. The leather is so supple.
03:56That's it. Feel the woodstone coursing through your veins.
04:00Wait. Do these seats have a massage function?
04:02Coming.
04:09Is it unusually bright in here?
04:12No?
04:13My eyes must still be adjusting.
04:15As you know, I'm a denizen of the basement now.
04:18I must have grown accustomed to the dark.
04:19Oh, these many weeks.
04:21It's been two days.
04:23What?
04:23But it has been eventful.
04:25Abby now knows Trevor's a ghost.
04:26Oh, how are you enjoying that, Trevor?
04:28Are you loving getting to know your daughter?
04:30Yeah.
04:30I mean, yeah.
04:32I believe those are my exact words when the minister asked me if I take this woman to be my
04:36lawfully wedded wife.
04:37Yeah, Trev. That didn't sound very enthusiastic.
04:40I'm thrilled Abby's in my life. I love that we're getting to know each other.
04:45But is it me or does she just seem sort of aimless?
04:49What do you mean?
04:50What are her goals?
04:51She majored in French poetry, she's working this dead-end job, and she's turning down free cars.
04:55Well, speaking as a guy who knows a thing or two about aimless girls...
04:59Oh, because that little girl shot you.
05:01Right.
05:01How long have you been waiting to use that quip?
05:03It'll be 16 years in February. It has proven very hard to work into conversation.
05:07But the point, Trevor, is Abby's young. She'll figure things out.
05:10I just hate to see her waste her life.
05:13Oh, Papa Trev. Just talk to her. Tell her about your concerns.
05:18No, I don't want to be the annoying, nudgy dad. I want to be the cool ghost dad.
05:22By the way, ghost dad. Underrated Bill Cosby movie.
05:26Ugh. If only he were here to help guide me.
05:29America's dad. Am I right?
05:31Great actor. Better man.
05:33Hey, guys.
05:34Oh, why don't you have Samantha talk to her?
05:36Trevor's worried about Abby's lack of direction, but he doesn't want to seem like a nag.
05:40That's where you come in.
05:41Yes, you can find out what her goals are.
05:44See if she has any dreams. Point her in the right direction.
05:47You know, give her the full Cosby.
05:49Okay. I feel like some information didn't filter down to the ghost community,
05:54but I hear you regarding Abby, and I'm happy to talk to her.
05:59Maybe I could take her for a spin in the convertible.
06:02Yeah, whatever. Or lunch or a walk.
06:04Cool. Spin in the convertible it is.
06:09So you went there on a team tour. Nice. How was it?
06:13Istanbul? It was cool.
06:16I don't know. It was a long time ago.
06:19Yeah.
06:20I might go. Just to check it out.
06:23Not for any kind of medical procedure.
06:28Hop in, kid.
06:29Let's ride.
06:30Do so at your own risk, Abby.
06:32This lady's a terror behind the wheel.
06:35What up, Cobra?
06:38Cobra?
06:40Broke my ass.
06:43Slow down, Sam. Some of us can't buckle in.
06:47Well, the talk with Abby went great.
06:49You don't have to worry. She's got goals.
06:52In fact, I think you're going to really love what she wants to do with her life.
06:55She wants to get a degree in finance.
06:58What?
06:58Oh, Trevor must be loving this.
07:01Oh, Trevor, this is great.
07:03She's following in your capitalist pig footsteps.
07:05I can't believe this.
07:06I know. It seems a little out of character, but she's really into it.
07:09She says it's always been a dream of hers.
07:11Oh.
07:12Hi.
07:13Oh, Abby.
07:14I just told Trevor about your plans to go to grad school, and he is very excited.
07:19Really?
07:20I wish my living dad felt the same. He doesn't want to pay for it.
07:24That's ridiculous.
07:25Why wouldn't Pincus want her following in his footsteps?
07:28Trevor's very supportive.
07:29In fact, you tell her I'm going to pay for it.
07:32Really?
07:33He says he's going to pay for your tuition.
07:36Seriously?
07:36How does a ghost have so much money, meanwhile I'm wearing pants that a guest left behind?
07:41I gotta say, they look better on you than they did on Linda.
07:44I can't accept that.
07:45It's just too big a gesture.
07:48Sam, please tell her I want to do this for her.
07:52If she can't accept the car, at least take this.
07:55He won't take no for an answer.
07:58All right. Thank you, ghost dad.
08:01Wow.
08:03You know, when I tell most people that I want to go to Paris to study French poetry,
08:08they think I'm crazy, but not you.
08:10You get it.
08:12What'd she say?
08:13Oh my God.
08:13I'm going to go look for Brace, but thank you, ghost dad.
08:17Sam, what the hell's going on?
08:20Explain.
08:20I have no idea.
08:22In the car, she said I want to get a degree in finance.
08:25Oh, I think I see what happened.
08:27Sort of a hilarious misunderstanding.
08:30What I really want to do is get a degree in France.
08:34Right on.
08:36Are you going a little fast?
08:38You want me to give it some gas?
08:40Okay.
08:41Unbuckle ghost back here!
08:44She said she wanted to get a degree in France.
08:47But what I'm realizing now is you thought she said a degree in finance.
08:51Sam, what did you do?
08:53I'm sorry.
08:53It was the wind and the roar of the engine.
08:56It was all so loud.
08:57Why were you revving it so much?
08:59Because the big dog's got to eat.
09:06This is a nightmare, Sam.
09:08My daughter is going to throw away her life with a Foucault degree in French poetry,
09:12and I'm paying for it.
09:14Trevor, don't worry.
09:16Your daughter's going to have some of the best sex of her life in France.
09:19I don't think that's helpful here, Flower.
09:21You know, the French invented the menage a trois.
09:24Fun fact, it's only a menage a trois in the menage region of France.
09:27Otherwise, it's just a threesome.
09:29Sam, you have to fix this.
09:31Oh, I don't think I should get any more involved.
09:33Take that, put it on a post-it, jam it on your mirror.
09:37That's the Newhouse motto.
09:38In Germany, they call threesomes uberbangs.
09:41Sam, you are involved.
09:43This whole thing is your fault.
09:45It's those engineers in Stuttgart.
09:47Why do they have to tune the darn engine to purr so loud?
09:50Wait, you're driving the Porsche?
09:51Why is everyone else living like a king while I'm wearing knockoff juicy?
09:55Hey, Sam, you tell him they're hugging his curves just like the real thing.
09:58Look, I personally think it's fine for Abby to pursue her passion, but I'm not the one paying for it.
10:03If you disagree, then you need to be honest with her.
10:05This is tough.
10:06I really think that she is throwing away her life, but if I'm honest with her, I'm no longer the
10:13cool dad.
10:14Look, take it from another cool dad.
10:15Stop right there, Pete.
10:16Cheerfully withdrawn.
10:17Either be okay with her following her passion or tell her how you really feel.
10:21You don't have any other choice.
10:23For what it's worth, Bela has a ton of stupid degrees and she turned out okay.
10:27I mean, she did get fired from a cat cafe and tried to sleep with several ghosts.
10:31You know what?
10:31I don't know what point I'm trying to make.
10:33I should get back to Mahesh.
10:34Okay, well, I'll drive you.
10:36It's like a hundred yards.
10:37Yeah, but you know, it's like hot or cold out.
10:39Whatever.
10:40Just shut up.
10:40I'm driving.
10:44Man, I sure hope Jay's butt rhinestones don't scratch the leather seats.
10:48Wait a second.
10:50Bela.
10:51That's how I fix this.
10:52What do you mean?
10:53We got a walking, talking, cautionary tale right under this roof.
10:57Let's scare the French poetry right out of Abby.
11:01No.
11:02They bought a 9-11?
11:03Yeah, those things are pricey.
11:05I once spent 500 bucks just to rent one for a date.
11:07I told this chick I was the heir to the Baskin-Robbins fortune.
11:10Why does ice cream always feature so prominently in Neil's sexual ploys?
11:15This is total bullcrap.
11:16Chef told us he has no money and his wife is driving a $200,000 sports car?
11:20Aw, did you see his pants today?
11:22I think there were diamonds on him.
11:24We don't have to stand for this.
11:25Oh, dear.
11:26We should do something.
11:27Totally.
11:28Yeah.
11:29This is all chillingly familiar.
11:32Please, ma'am.
11:33An extra three pennies a week would really help.
11:36Three pennies?
11:37That's outrageous.
11:38Do you think we're made of money?
11:39Well, then what about at least cutting back some of the hours in the factory?
11:42I've heard of a rumor about a new thing called a weekend.
11:46The answer is no.
11:47You shall not be getting a raise.
11:48Not now and not ever.
11:49I have already said that you're welcome to eat any rats that you find.
11:52You people are relentless.
11:54And maybe we'll have to do something about it.
11:57Like what?
11:58Like maybe we'll form a union.
12:00Union.
12:01Union.
12:02We should form a union.
12:06And we should get medical.
12:07And certain elective procedures should be covered.
12:11So I heard you're studying in Europe.
12:14That's so exciting.
12:15What's going on?
12:16Trevor texted Bela to tell Abby about the time when she studied abroad.
12:19Oh, that's nice.
12:20To get her all excited about the experience?
12:22No.
12:23To scare the crap out of her.
12:25Bela doesn't know that's my intent, but hopefully her hot mess misadventures will speak for themselves.
12:29I am really excited.
12:31So you also went to school in Europe?
12:33Mm-hmm.
12:34I studied pottery in Greece.
12:36That is incredible.
12:37So did your pottery degree lead to anything?
12:39Did you get a job in your field?
12:41Well, not in my field per se, but I did get a job in a field picking olives.
12:46See, I was dating this Greek guy from the moped rental place.
12:49Anyways, we went to Delphi and then Stavros stole all my money and my passport.
12:53So I had to work for two weeks to pay for my train ticket.
12:56And that, my friends, is why you always carry traveler's checks.
12:59Pete, I'm really enjoying this new relationship, but too many of our conversations involve traveler's checks.
13:04Not possible.
13:06That's a little intense, but overall you're really happy you went, right?
13:11Financially?
13:12No.
13:13Professionally?
13:14Of course not.
13:15But the good news is you can't get hepatitis A twice.
13:19Hey, guys.
13:20Trevor's trying to get Bela to carry Abby out of going to Europe.
13:22Why would you tell her that?
13:23Remember in 2006 when you noticed that stain on my dress and you called me Alderta?
13:27Oh, come on.
13:28That was one burn 20 years ago.
13:30We're here for eternity.
13:31All I have are my grudges.
13:32Oh my God, Trevor.
13:33What's going on?
13:34Abby, I'm just going to come clean with you because obviously your father is too scared
13:38to do it himself.
13:40In the car, because of the turbocharged roar of the engine, I thought you told me you
13:44wanted to get a degree in finance, not in France.
13:47Sam, stop this right now.
13:49Wait, so that's why Trevor offered to pay for my tuition?
13:52Yeah.
13:53And now he's trying to get Bela to scare you off.
13:55What?
13:55I thought I was pumping her up.
13:57No, you're a cautionary tale.
13:58Sorry.
13:59Oh, no.
14:00A cautionary tale would have been what happened to me in Ibiza.
14:03I boarded a literal pirate ship.
14:06So you don't support me and you're too lame to be honest.
14:10That's great, Trevor.
14:12Abby, wait.
14:14Sam, look what you did.
14:16Damn it.
14:18Ooh, Stopros is on Facebook.
14:21He looks good for 61.
14:22And she just friend requested him.
14:24I wonder if he's still married.
14:33Ooh, what y'all watching?
14:34Does it have Momoa or no Momoa?
14:36This is Formula One automobile race Samantha demanded we watch.
14:40Come on, accelerate out of the turn, Leclerc.
14:43What is this, amateur hour?
14:44This Porsche has become her entire personality.
14:47Okay, that's crazy.
14:48And it's Porsche.
14:50A lot of people don't know that.
14:51Sam, what were you thinking?
14:53She told Abby that I didn't want her studying in France.
14:56But you don't want her studying in France.
14:58Yeah, but I was trying to blow that up without Abby getting upset with me.
15:03Look, Trevor, I'm sorry for calling you out, but you hit a nerve, okay?
15:07What are you talking about?
15:08I was raised by a very controlling mother who was constantly tricking me into doing what she wanted.
15:13I was trying to keep her from making a mistake.
15:16But that's not the way to go about it, Trev.
15:18Look, I had the craziest dream of all.
15:20To go to New York and to be a star.
15:23But my dad was my biggest supporter.
15:25And that always meant a lot to me.
15:27You ended up getting murdered.
15:29Later.
15:29It was good for a while.
15:31My father wanted me to marry a woman.
15:33And then I did.
15:35It's not a great story.
15:36Nor a great marriage.
15:36But those are the facts.
15:39His point is, a parent pushing someone into doing something they don't want to do will just lead to resentment.
15:45No, I was just talking because I felt left out.
15:47But yes, apparently it was relevant.
15:49Look, Trevor, you can try to steer Abby in the direction that you think is right, but ultimately it's her
15:54life.
15:55She's going to live it.
15:56You make your case, and then she decides.
15:59So you're saying I should just be honest?
16:01Yes.
16:02You can't handle her with kid gloves.
16:05Speaking of which, I'm going to go buy some driving gloves.
16:11You have a problem, girl.
16:12Oh, I know.
16:13They say you can't outrun your problems.
16:16But I'm going to try.
16:20What do we want?
16:21The living way!
16:23What do we want it?
16:24To us!
16:25Oh, man, this is not good.
16:27Why don't they just hire some goons to violently bust this strike?
16:31You can't do that anymore, Hetty.
16:32Oh, what has happened to this country?
16:34This is all because of that stupid car.
16:36They think we're loaded.
16:37Why don't you just sell it?
16:38I mean, the optics will certainly be better, and then maybe you can use some of the money to pay
16:43the staff more, including your hardworking manager.
16:46Now you're asking for more?
16:47Well played, Bela.
16:48Besides, I can't sell the car.
16:50Because his wife loves it more than she loves him?
16:52Trevor correctly anticipated that we might want to sell it, so he registered it under a false name with some
16:56offshore LLC.
16:58Aruba.
16:58Great beaches.
16:59Famously permissive financial regulations.
17:01Only Trevor knows the passwords, that pantsless bastard.
17:05He's like an evil genius.
17:06I know.
17:07It's so hot.
17:09I mean, bummer.
17:12I mean, how long does it take to complete a wordle?
17:15It's build, damn it.
17:16Build, you absolute simpleton.
17:19Oh, it's guild.
17:21My bad.
17:23Abby, I'm with Trevor, and he wants you to know that he's sorry for not being honest with you.
17:29Thank you, Trevor.
17:30But he still doesn't think you should go to France and study poetry.
17:33He thinks it's a waste of time.
17:36He may be saying that, but in another way, he's telling me to go.
17:40Okay, I'm very confused.
17:42What do you mean?
17:43Trevor died when he was very young.
17:45He missed out on so many experiences.
17:47I've seen too many people not live long lives.
17:51Not just Trevor.
17:52My mom died young.
17:54I want to have fun while I still can.
17:56Will going to France advance my career?
17:59Probably not, but it'll be a sick time.
18:01Ben Franklin gave half of Paris gonorrhea.
18:05Talk about a sick time.
18:07Trevor, I'm not going to France to waste my life.
18:11I am going there to live it.
18:16You know what?
18:17She's right.
18:18You never know what's coming around the corner.
18:20You could get sick or hit by a bus.
18:23Or eat two random pills from your friend's secret junk drawer.
18:26Exactly.
18:27You can make all the right decisions.
18:28But when it's your time, it's your time.
18:32Sam, tell Abby she should study in France, and I will pay for it.
18:38Abby?
18:39He says you should study in France, and he will pay for it.
18:43Really?
18:44That's a lot of money.
18:46Oh, I can always sell the Porsche.
18:48Oh, he says you might have to take out some loans.
18:51What?
18:52Sam?
18:53Yeah, that's okay.
18:54I can do that.
18:55Sam?
18:55Okay, fine.
18:56He says you'll pay for the whole thing.
18:58And it's poor Shaw.
19:00Damn it.
19:04What do we want?
19:05A living weight!
19:07When do we want it?
19:08Now!
19:09Why are they still out there?
19:10We sold the Porsche.
19:12That's what happens with these things.
19:14It starts out with them wanting an extra helping of gruel, and then the next thing you know
19:17what, they want an 18-hour work day.
19:19Hedy, how did you end the strike back in your day?
19:21Well, it felt wrong to bring in the goons against the children.
19:24So, we were forced to pursue more creative solutions.
19:30Unfortunately, we cannot increase your wages.
19:34The budget simply won't allow it.
19:35But we have something better than money to offer.
19:38Is it food?
19:39I'm very hungry.
19:41No, no.
19:42It's dignity.
19:44You, young man, shall henceforth be known as the vice president of operations.
19:51Really?
19:52Well, then what am I, man?
19:53You are the cheap executive child person.
19:59Wow!
20:00Hmm, wow indeed.
20:02Perhaps it's worth a shot.
20:04No, those were kids.
20:05The kitchen staff are sophisticated adults, right, Jay?
20:10Well...
20:11Wow, president of cuisine.
20:14Thanks, chef.
20:16And Gabe, you're going to be vice president of...
20:19Please say chips, please say chips.
20:22Sure, chips.
20:23No way.
20:25Quick, take away their weekends while you have their goodwill.
20:28You're good.
20:31Yeah.
20:39Okay.
20:40Eh...
20:41Oh, boy.
20:46Okay.
20:57Other things...
20:57Hold on.
20:57Is this the best you're here?
20:57I mean, Sean?
20:57I mean, on the fuckingeb okay.
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