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Half.Man.S01E01.540p.X265.AAC [Full Movie] [Trending Drama]Full EP - Full
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Short filmTranscript
00:53I'm not speaking about this.
00:58You don't have to speak.
01:00You have to listen.
01:03Really?
01:06You picked today.
01:09My fucking wedding.
01:16Come on, Truman, stop messing.
01:21Put your top back on.
01:34Oh, for fuck's sake.
01:45Oh, Niall.
01:53Come here.
01:55Come here.
02:02I'm proud of you, yeah?
02:05You know that?
02:13You look gorgeous, so you do.
02:15I tell you, if I wasn't family, I'd get up and underneath that kilt right away.
02:20No, Ruben, don't.
02:21What?
02:22I tell you, you look gorgeous.
02:24Come on, show me.
02:24There's nothing to show, Ruben.
02:25I've got boxes on underneath, for Christ's sake.
02:27Oh, boxers.
02:28Stop teasing me, you little mate.
02:33Hey.
02:34Yeah.
02:35Come here, look at me.
02:36Look at me.
02:38That's it.
02:41Look at me.
02:44We may not flow through each other's veins, but we flow through each other's brains, you
02:49get me?
02:50Please, I don't think that...
02:50One more time, eh?
02:52For all time's sake.
02:54I just need to hear it.
02:57Before I lose you forever.
02:58You're not serious.
03:01Go on.
03:02Say it.
03:03What am I?
03:08Your brother from...
03:16You're not a lover.
03:21You're not a lover.
03:23Beautiful.
03:51Come on.
03:52Give us your best, you little fag.
04:04What is this now?
04:06Oh, fucking stickers.
04:09Indiana Jones.
04:12That film is gay as fuck.
04:14I'm gonna have these.
04:16No, please, Gus.
04:18You fuck.
04:20You can keep one.
04:21Okay.
04:23I'm not on one star.
04:25Pick one.
04:29Second to last.
04:30Good.
04:52Open up.
04:54Oh.
04:59Okay, degenerate.
05:01Settle down.
05:02Settle down.
05:05All right.
05:06As we know, the prelim exams start this week.
05:10Are we aware of how important they are?
05:16Prelims are your safety net.
05:18For whatever reason, you missed your finals.
05:21You get hit by a bus.
05:22You come down with a bubonic plague.
05:24These exams are your get out of jail with an appeals card.
05:28Have I emphasized their importance enough?
05:34Positively spellbinding.
05:36Right, moving on.
05:39I should probably make you aware that a new student will be joining the class from tomorrow.
05:43One Reuben Pallister.
05:46What?
05:49Some of them are, Kennedy.
05:52No, it's just...
05:54Did you just say Reuben Pallister?
05:58That's right.
05:59A new pupil you can show off your sparkling personality to.
06:04Reuben will be transferring from Pullman Young Offenders Institute.
06:07And we'll be re-sitting two years.
06:10Which means he'll be a little more feral than the rest of you.
06:13Any questions?
06:17Nobody.
06:18Good.
06:18Open your jars.
06:19We'll pick up where we left off yesterday.
06:22Page 16.
06:26Kennedy.
06:27Did you listen to what I just said?
06:30What?
06:30Yeah.
06:31Of course.
06:33What did I just say then?
06:37Reuben's back.
06:50Mum, it's Niall.
06:52Honey, I'm working.
06:52What is it?
06:53It's Reuben.
06:54He's out.
06:54He's coming to school.
06:55Look, now is not the time, all right?
06:57He's not staying with us, is he?
06:58We can talk about this when I pick you up.
07:00But, Mum...
07:21You should have said about her then.
07:22Oh, piss yourself!
07:24You're a 15-year-old boy.
07:26Given your life, I don't need to give you respect.
07:28Respect.
07:33Look, I'm sorry, okay?
07:35I should have told you.
07:37I'm keeping with the theme of surprises.
07:39He's moved into your room?
07:42What?
07:42No way.
07:43What did you think that second bed was for?
07:44We were almost begging you to ask.
07:46I thought it was for guests.
07:47He is a guest.
07:48No, he's not.
07:49He's a psycho.
07:50He bit someone's nose off.
07:51I've seen the guy too.
07:52It's horrible.
07:53His wife left him and everything.
08:03Look, you're not to talk about this, okay?
08:05Nobody in this town knows about that.
08:07The last thing that boy needs is folk whispering.
08:09Don't bite people's noses often.
08:11No, shh.
08:11You're not to speak this way in front of Maura, all right?
08:13Oh, you always put her first.
08:15She was only supposed to be living with us for six months,
08:17and now her kid is moving in.
08:18Come on, Mum.
08:19He's a psycho.
08:21Her son getting out is a big deal.
08:22He's been away for two years, for Christ's sake.
08:25This is happening, Niall, so get used to it.
09:00He's a psycho.
09:22Remember me, Bambi?
09:24Last time I saw you, you were about yea high.
09:33Grown at least two feet since then, maybe more.
09:36You've got the exact same size head though, creeping me out a bit.
09:46You helping or what?
09:48We can't have this shit up.
09:50Not enough for bringing birds home.
09:51Yeah.
09:56Get to it then, Bambi, grab a bag, get stuff in.
10:08Here, take that poster down and put this up.
10:26Put it up then, you dick.
10:27Put it up then, you dick.
10:54What the fuck are you staring at?
10:58What?
11:00Nothing.
11:24Ah!
11:26Looks like Palace there's a no-show.
11:28Off to a great start.
11:31Alright everyone, open your jotters.
11:33We'll pick up from yesterday.
11:44Right, what's going on here?
11:49Kennedy.
11:52Open your jotter.
11:55No.
11:57Open, boy.
12:06Who did this?
12:08Oh no, come on.
12:12Uh, me, sir.
12:15You?
12:16You?
12:16You called your own mum a dyke?
12:18No, I called someone else's mum a dyke.
12:21Really?
12:22I know first hand from your essays, your grasp of irony isn't that strong.
12:27So, come on.
12:29Who did this?
12:34My mum's not a lesbian.
12:36I beg your pardon?
12:37I said, my mum is not a fucking lesbian.
12:43Look, come with me.
12:45Go off me, you nods!
12:47What did you say?
12:48Like to touch young boys, do you?
12:50You fucking old poof!
12:53I'm just wondering if there's something else we should be worrying about.
12:56What are you insinuating?
12:57All I'm saying is I've seen a change in Niall recently.
13:00Then what change is that then?
13:01Look, he's gone from being a committed, gifted student to one that acts out in most lessons.
13:05Sir, go on.
13:06I know you want to.
13:07Look, we have to call into question Niall's rather unusual state of affairs at home.
13:10You don't know anything about my damn home!
13:28You fucking fucking bastard!
13:35Oi Rook.
13:37I know you're up there.
13:38What?
13:40I've eaten about.
13:41I am what?
13:43I'm getting, waiting.
13:45Is that your dad?
13:46Shut the fuck up.
13:47That way ain't no consumer!
13:53You got a muck?
13:55How long is fucking muck?
13:57You get down here and explain why you stay with that dite!
14:03And not me!
14:05Ruben, son, you start again, eh?
14:09I think you give your old man a big hug, eh?
14:15I don't think I can't see you, boy!
14:18Where is he by the fucking collar?
14:20We've gone before!
14:22I'll get, I'll get mum.
14:23I'll be with a bitch!
14:26Don't shoot her!
14:27Fucking dite!
14:31Not a word, okay?
14:33Not a fucking word.
14:38I can't believe through this!
14:39Don't you shut your mouth!
14:42You don't tell anyone about this!
14:44Do you understand?
14:45This never happened!
14:46Fuck!
14:50Fuck!
14:52Fuck!
14:54Fuck!
14:55Fuck!
14:56Fuck!
14:58Fuck!
14:58Fuck!
14:59Fuck!
15:00Fuck!
15:02Fuck!
15:03Fuck!
15:04Fuck!
15:04Fuck!
15:05Fuck!
15:07Fuck!
15:08Fuck!
15:15Fuck!
15:21Fuck!
15:34Fuck!
15:35Fuck!
15:36Fuck!
15:37Fuck!
15:37Fuck!
15:37Fuck!
15:38Fuck!
15:39Fuck!
16:03I don't know.
16:15so boys
16:18I am not sure
16:19whether you heard
16:20all that commotion
16:21last night
16:28no we were asleep
16:29both of us
16:34oh right
16:35well that's okay then
16:37ignore me
16:59fuck you staring at
17:02just seeing if you're alright
17:03why wouldn't I be
17:04it's just last night
17:06fuck last night
17:07no yeah
17:08absolutely
17:10fuck last night
17:18so are you nervous or
17:19how the fuck would I be nervous
17:21well
17:21first day of school
17:23this is dull Kenny
17:24it's where the fairies go
17:25hey
17:25soft cock
17:27are you a boyfriend
17:30ignore them
17:32these guys bothering you
17:33Bambi
17:33nah it's just
17:34banter
17:35big up the other one
17:36do you you little
17:37faggot
17:38great banter
17:42these guys bothering you
17:43Bambi
17:46I'll ask you again
17:48are these guys bothering you
18:00what's that
18:01what's that
18:01I've got to school
18:02go to school
18:03you're not a witness
18:03if you don't see what happens
18:04just fucking go
18:06Oh, man.
18:46Ah, Mr. Pallister.
18:49Nice of you to fit us into your busy schedule.
18:52Boys and girls, this is Reuben. Reuben will be joining us from now on.
18:59Where's your school uniform?
19:00On your mother's floor.
19:03That's enough, everyone.
19:06Desk at the back.
19:10And for the record, my mum's dead.
19:12So extra points for nihilism.
19:20Right.
19:21As I was saying, two households like families.
19:25Both in a bit of a feud.
19:27Cus.
19:28Let's go.
19:30Let's go.
19:48Let's go.
19:49Let's go.
19:50Let's go.
20:00you've been working out now certainly has then there's only an inch of space when I cut my hand
20:06around his bicep used to be at least two three maybe I'm going to my room don't sit down you
20:13a little killjoy we need you to persuade Robin to go to the exam tomorrow what no way now please
20:30do this for us what are you doing stop that I'm not a kid that's exactly what you are off
20:37me oh come on
20:38do this for me I need you to do this come on please go off me come on come on
20:45just this one please
20:46I said go off me
20:57I'll take it from you
21:09okay but you left fairly sizable nice fire in the airport she's making all the effort in the world
21:18I don't care we're not friends we never will be come on fancy the pants off of her when you
21:25were a
21:26wee in remember the love letters we'd send to her house on valentine's day
21:35fine playtime's over
21:39look will you speak to him at least no no he's terrifying oh come on Niall you wouldn't believe
21:46how hard mora had to work to get ruben into dulcanny she changed her postcodes and everything
21:52he's on probation too so he needs to show up and pass this prelim for the school kick him out
22:09and then we'll be right back
22:14of yeah
22:16and we will find a lot of the love that we can make sure to find out
22:23of yeah
22:25I said nothing, what I say never, never, never, ever.
22:34Things got affected to what I never said
22:36till my mouth becomes dead, which ain't not all that clever.
22:43And it's not not saying one thing, no, not another, rather,
22:47neither is it anything I haven't said, whatever.
22:54What's just eat?
22:55What, what do you mean?
22:56Am I speaking foreign?
22:57That's what he does.
22:58You tell anyone about this, I will put you to sleep.
23:01Do you understand?
23:01I won't.
23:02I mean, I thought it was great.
23:04Thought it was great.
23:30What do you want?
23:32Just a quick something that's come to me just now, in the moment.
23:39I was thinking about the exam tomorrow.
23:41Fuck off.
23:42Right you are.
24:10You're dead.
24:18What about him?
24:21How old were you again?
24:26I was eight.
24:28When I died.
24:32What did he do again?
24:39He was a writer.
24:41Oh yeah?
24:43I don't remember that.
24:45Well, he worked in a pub mainly, but he wanted to be a writer.
24:50And what did he write about?
24:55Working in a pub.
25:04He was really good though.
25:06I've read all his stuff.
25:08He was so close to getting published in the end.
25:11What stopped him?
25:15Well, death.
25:30That's why I want to give it a shot myself.
25:31You know?
25:32You're right too.
25:33I keep a diary.
25:36That doesn't count.
25:37Try sending that to Anne Frank.
25:39Who?
25:41No.
25:41She was just...
25:45It doesn't matter.
25:56What happened to Gus?
26:01He'll survive.
26:07I just thought with the knife you'd done something, you know, really bad.
26:15Almost did.
26:17And I'm up against the wall with it, guppy and like mad.
26:21Whispered, it'll be over soon.
26:25So he thought for a second I was going to stick it in him proper.
26:29It'll be over soon.
26:34Yeah, I love seeing that.
26:37You really get a sense of what a cunt looks like when they think they're going to die.
26:42He's sort of infant-like.
26:44He's all innocent and shit's weird.
26:48It'll be over soon.
27:00Night, Bumpers.
27:04Night.
27:17Where's a bulldog now, eh?
27:18Back off.
27:19Not the way you tell us where Gus is.
27:20I don't know.
27:21We know you live with an inbred prick.
27:22You're bound to have said something.
27:23We don't talk.
27:25Go on.
27:27Oi!
27:42Leave me alone.
28:09I got an open neighbor.
28:11Let me in.
28:12You were brown.
28:13I got us on average.
28:13I'm not really good.
28:13I'm great.
28:13I'm not really good.
28:15I'm not.
28:16I'm not.
28:17I'm not really good.
28:40Let's smoke this, son of a bitch!
28:42Woo! Woo!
28:44Come on! Come on!
28:45Callister, nice of you to join.
28:47Please refrain from shouting out.
28:49It's only prelims. Where am I sitting?
28:51There's an empty chair there, two rows along.
28:54Please move quietly.
28:55Hmph.
28:58Hmph.
29:01Hmph.
29:03Hmph.
29:23Hmph.
29:39All right, guys. We have ten minutes left.
29:41Ten minutes? Get fucked.
29:43Language, Pallister.
29:45I started later than everyone.
29:46Well, I'm afraid the onus is on you there.
29:48Piss off, Jenkins. I shagged your mum in her onus.
29:53Pallister.
29:53Pallister. Get back here.
29:56Pallister. Don't you walk away from me, son.
29:59Oi! I'm speaking to you.
30:12Where is he?
30:12Five pounds of pajamas.
30:13Well, that's right.
30:13Five pounds of pajamas.
30:29I'm gonna do it.
30:29Pallister.
30:31All right, guys. Not long now.
31:17This girlfriend.
31:18Oh, Jesus. What now?
31:21Reuben passed.
31:23He passed the prelim.
31:26He can stay in school now.
31:29Oh.
31:30Really?
31:32Yeah.
31:34You helped him, didn't you?
31:36Oh, no, I...
31:38Last night, I heard you talking.
31:45I mean that.
31:49I know we haven't always seen it eye to eye.
31:52Mainly because you're a little brat who blames me for everything.
31:56I do think you could be a positive
31:58influence on my boy.
32:04Thanks.
32:07I think.
32:15No, that feels weird.
32:19Let's never do that again.
32:20I don't know.
32:20I don't know.
32:21I'm not sure.
32:51Bambi's sleeping.
33:03Isn't it a bit weird doing this with a wee Nile in the room?
33:06No, I don't care.
33:07I passed the prelims today and I did it in a speck at the time every other fucker.
33:11Stop it, Ruben.
33:11If I swear anymore, I'm going to put my back out.
33:15Shh!
33:15I don't know.
33:16I thought you said you didn't care about him hearing.
33:18I don't.
33:19I just don't want my mum rubbing one out all week.
33:23Yeah, take these off.
33:25I'm going to throw you a skin.
33:27Oh, baby.
33:28Oh, baby.
33:47Okay.
33:48Here, here, here, here.
34:09Caught you, Nile Kennedy.
34:10What?
34:11No, I was sleeping.
34:12Fuck off.
34:13We saw you.
34:14Yeah, I wasn't.
34:15I was sleeping.
34:15Liar.
34:16At least admit it, you little scrote.
34:18You were perving.
34:19Pervy little Nile Kennedy, eh?
34:23So, tell me.
34:26Did you see anything that you liked?
34:33Quite something, huh?
34:34Well, is this the first time you've seen a naked woman in the flesh?
34:45And what do you think?
34:48She...
34:50She looks...
34:50What would you do to her, Nile, if you could have your wife?
34:56Go on.
35:00I'd ask her for her permission.
35:03Obviously.
35:04Fucking loser, aren't you, Bambi?
35:06Touch my breath, Nile.
35:08What?
35:10What?
35:22Here.
35:23Let's see how he's getting on, shall we?
35:25What?
35:26No, no, no, no.
35:27Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
35:27No, no, no, no, no, no.
35:28That's fine, Bambi.
35:30Just relax, okay?
35:31Let her do her thing.
35:47Wow.
35:49Nothing.
35:50What's going on?
35:51You got something against Mona?
35:52Is it my boobs?
35:53What?
35:54No, it's just...
35:55This isn't how I pictured it.
35:57How does your picture it, then?
35:58More than one woman.
36:01That's it, isn't it?
36:03Nile here loves group sex.
36:05No, no, I don't...
36:06Ooh, little Nile Kennedy loves a bit of group sex.
36:10Well, I could assume different characters, if you like.
36:14I could be Candy, a blonde bombshell who lives next door.
36:19Or I could be Svetlana, Russian warrior of the North.
36:27She's incredible, isn't she, now?
36:29There's something to keep her.
36:31Uh-uh.
36:32Svetlana is kept by no one.
36:34How's he getting on now, then?
36:37Come on, son.
36:38I got Phil Marks on my standard grades back in the day, Nile.
36:41I know you love a nerd.
36:45Here.
36:47Just focus on how things feel.
36:49Give me your finger.
37:02Oh, hello.
37:03Here we go, my man.
37:06You ready?
37:33That's it, that's it.
37:34Easy, boy, easy.
37:36Steady, steady.
37:41Drop.
37:42Don't call her.
37:46Oh, wow.
37:47He's a grower, young Nile.
37:57Sorry.
37:58Back you go, mister.
38:00No, no, no, no.
38:00Stop fighting.
38:02Let her do her thing.
38:04Here, I'll hold it up, Ray.
38:16Hold it, son.
38:18Hold it.
38:20Pull the mind rhythm.
38:41Wow, he's really going for a night.
39:09For fuck's sake, did you just call me me?
39:13You fucking did, you mink!
39:15Oh no, put my feet at all.
39:16Now son, you need to pull out.
39:18For fuck's sake, I better not be pregnant.
39:20I'm sorry, I didn't mean to.
39:21It just came out of nowhere.
39:23Relax, son, it's fine.
39:25But I mean, like, what happens now?
39:28Will I get the virus?
39:32What?
39:36Do you mean AIDS?
39:51I'll lie back, you daft cunt.
40:01So, is that it, then?
40:05That's it, Bambi.
40:08Thanks, God.
40:19Shoo!
40:21Shoo!
40:26Shoo!
40:54I was just thinking
40:57do you have any hash we can bake now Kennedy dark horse my man now
41:18Kennedy eh sex code drug fiend
42:14well I get the virus
42:19oh I feel like an idea now you're good I know what you did as in me yeah oh
42:38I've never seen her look at me like that before I've seen her cry loads you know but
42:53I like this it works
43:02what did you make of Mona then yeah I liked her yeah you fucking did you can thank me when
43:10you're ready someone had to lose your virginity for you didn't they oh come on you didn't
43:19think that was chance did you there's no way a lassie would take time out from sleeping
43:25with me to sleep for you I set it up my way of saying thanks
43:37so come on tell me you loved it
43:42I loved it yeah you did
43:48I should run a brothel or something I'm like the pied piper of pussy
43:55it'll be
43:57it'll be
44:25it'll be
44:34The pine piper are busy.
44:39I'm imagining these massive vaginas with legs falling through the roots.
44:51You're a minger, papi.
45:16Can I see something?
45:18Do I?
45:22Are our mums, you know, fucking...
45:31Yeah, I've heard so.
45:36Does it bother you or something?
45:40No, no, not really.
45:43As long as they're happy, I guess.
45:47Although they don't seem all that happy.
45:55There's a lot you don't know about.
46:09Yeah.
46:12Got you something.
46:20I'm not going to train you.
46:22Just in case something happens to me, I need to know you'll look after yourself.
46:28Why do you care?
46:32We're family, now.
46:35It's the most important thing.
46:40My brother, if I'm another lover.
46:48Come on, boys.
46:49School.
46:51Bring those thin bags down while you're at it.
46:56This is going to be some morning.
46:58We'll be floating to school after all that.
47:05Hey.
47:09You've got nothing to worry about with our mums.
47:12Ten years' time, you'll be at a party somewhere and realise it makes you more interesting.
47:23Later, Bambas.
47:38See you later.
47:41Bye.
48:02Just cause I ain't never had no nothing worth having
48:05Never, ever, never, ever
48:12You ain't got no call not to think of what I'm falling
48:15To thinking I ain't too clever
48:23And it ain't not having one thing or not another
48:25Rather neither is it anything, whatever
48:33And it's not, not knowing that there ain't nothing showing
48:36In the eyes of the name of Trevor
48:41However
48:46Knocked me down with a feather
48:50Clever Trevor
48:56Why brows wonder whether clever Trevor's clever
49:05No, neither, haven't not got no right to make a clock out of Trevor
49:21No, neither, haven't or have youori
49:29be fine We'll
49:29be fine
49:35I don't know.
50:00It won't work, Bambi.
50:02Here.
50:04Have a sip.
50:15Hey.
50:17Easy.
50:18Sip.
50:18Don't chug.
50:20Come on.
50:21That's it.
50:31Jesus.
50:33You're dripping.
50:37Let's sort this out.
50:40We're gonna stay here.
50:42All right.
50:44Hey.
50:45It's gonna be okay.
50:47You're gonna be fine.
50:51Hey.
50:52Hey, it's gonna be all right.
50:54Don't...
50:54Hey.
50:55Come on.
50:56Nile.
50:56Please.
50:57No.
50:57Please.
50:58Hey.
50:58Hey.
50:59Settle.
50:59Settle.
51:00Settle.
51:01All right.
51:02Settle.
51:02No, no, no, no.
51:03Settle.
51:04Settle.
51:04Just breathe.
51:05Hey.
51:06Hey.
51:07It's fine.
51:08No, it's fine.
51:09Just settle a bit.
51:11Settle.
51:12Here.
51:13Follow my breath.
51:19There's no following my breath.
51:21I can't.
51:22Follow it.
51:22I can't.
51:23Try.
51:23Yes, you can.
51:24You fucking can.
51:25Come on.
51:26Come on.
51:26Follow it.
51:33Oh, my God.
51:50Hey, see?
51:53Yeah.
51:56I said go with it, go with it.
51:59No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,
52:01no, no.
52:01Just pray.
52:04Okay, I'm here for you.
52:07Just keep breathing.
52:10That's it.
52:12That's a boy.
52:15Don't worry.
52:18It'll be over soon.
52:43It'll be over.
53:12Transcription by CastingWords
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