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FunTranscript
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00:00:20You don't have to feel like they need to cry.
00:00:28Layla once said that somebody once said that all stories end in death or marriage.
00:00:35That's because somebody was a complete idiot.
00:00:44You could argue that they're more or less the same thing anyway.
00:00:47But hey, this is Layla's story, not mine.
00:00:52His note says he's dead.
00:00:57He signed it.
00:01:00And he dotted the I in his name with a little happy face.
00:01:05From this day forward, I swear to God that I will never let some lying clown tell me he loves
00:01:12me.
00:01:13Much less agree to marry him for it.
00:01:15Nonsense.
00:01:16I'll die first.
00:01:18You go to Harvard first.
00:01:20Okay, granted, getting blown off on your wedding day sucks a pretty big one.
00:01:24But, you know, hunt him down and kill him.
00:01:26Don't go all hysterical.
00:01:29I mean, what chick hasn't sworn off boys at some point in her life?
00:01:33Really, they're like cigarettes.
00:01:36You try out a few in the woods behind school.
00:01:39You puke.
00:01:40You give them up.
00:01:41But right around that third jello shot, they start to sound pretty good again.
00:01:46And while we're at it, what guy hasn't had his most tender lies, well, you know, burnt up?
00:01:56What I'm trying to say is you get over it.
00:02:00Unless, of course, you're still a virgin.
00:02:03Then it can take a while.
00:02:08A long while.
00:02:30Good morning, Paxa.
00:02:33what the hell are you doing?
00:02:39Are you going to try to apply figurine?
00:02:42Why doesn't he almost get invalid?
00:02:46that's a really vast difference?
00:02:49Maybe.
00:02:50What do we try to do?
00:02:51What do you try to do?
00:02:52For a supper, we make our hearteticPart range.
00:02:53When it comes along, we get really quick and easy to makeahi so much modern at still.
00:02:54When there is a prison, we don't think it's probably enough to make jokes.
00:02:59And that's the ayud.
00:03:08So 12 years later, and Leila's suite remains the poster child for purity.
00:03:14Gorgeous, virtuous, and clearest.
00:03:18Lost in the sexual woods with a big moral compass, but without the thing they put in
00:03:22the compass to make it actually point somewhere.
00:03:24And if on the bright side she has one male friend, note that he's on the end of the leash
00:03:29and is named after an antidepressant.
00:03:31Come on, Paxil.
00:03:33Come on, Paxil.
00:03:35Come on.
00:03:40Good boy.
00:03:47What do you call this?
00:03:49It doesn't have a name.
00:03:51Where's Paxil?
00:03:52He's afraid of you.
00:03:53Well, try it at least, dear.
00:03:55It's full of vitamins and quite slimming.
00:03:58Is your sister joining us?
00:03:59She's on the phone with Donald.
00:04:01Oh, yes.
00:04:03Donald.
00:04:03He's a very nice boy.
00:04:05Good family.
00:04:06John is toast.
00:04:07He's about to be our son-in-law.
00:04:10Must be great in the sheets.
00:04:12Ernest.
00:04:12What?
00:04:14Like you both haven't thought the same thing?
00:04:16Well, you probably haven't.
00:04:18God, what now?
00:04:22It's quite slimming.
00:04:26Here we are.
00:04:28So, ready for the big day?
00:04:30I guess.
00:04:31It's going to be a beautiful ceremony.
00:04:33I booked St. Andrews.
00:04:35Yeah.
00:04:36Ernest.
00:04:37You're quite a grouchy uncle, aren't you?
00:04:40Ignore him.
00:04:41You just fell off the horse once, that's all.
00:04:43I think she got bucked off.
00:04:45You're right again, sweetie.
00:04:46In a great big billowing white dress.
00:04:49Okay.
00:04:50Can I remind you all that I am not marriage-minded?
00:04:53I hate love.
00:04:55I hate weddings.
00:04:57Except for yours.
00:04:59And I hate white dresses.
00:05:02Obviously.
00:05:03You burned a perfectly good one to billowing gray ashes.
00:05:07Okay.
00:05:08I have to go.
00:05:09I'm late for the park.
00:05:11Come on, Paxil.
00:05:13Oh, sweetie, don't.
00:05:18How can you be late to a park?
00:05:22Bye.
00:05:29Listen to this.
00:05:31Researchers announced that male dogs raised in New York City
00:05:34are at an increased risk to develop medical problems,
00:05:38including anxiety, skin rashes, depression, tooth decay,
00:05:42hypochondria, and impotence.
00:05:45That's so sad.
00:05:52There you go.
00:06:05Yours?
00:06:07Me?
00:06:09No.
00:06:11Mine.
00:06:12Paxil.
00:06:13Very fuzzy head.
00:06:21Yours?
00:06:22Well, it's my sister's.
00:06:24They steal them on Sundays.
00:06:28Uh, we were just about to leave.
00:06:30I don't suppose you'd want to get a cup of coffee with us?
00:06:32I wouldn't.
00:06:34You would?
00:06:35Oh, no.
00:06:35I was just wondering why you thought that I wouldn't.
00:06:38So you want?
00:06:40I actually don't do this.
00:06:43What?
00:06:43The talking to you part.
00:06:46I understand.
00:06:47Thanks, though.
00:06:49Sure.
00:07:01Over here.
00:07:01But,
00:07:29You have a有一 vecío
00:07:31Daddy!
00:07:44Daddy!
00:07:45Bye, honey.
00:07:47Oh, boy.
00:07:50Daddy, look at the box!
00:07:52Look at the box!
00:08:08Somebody once said that nostalgia is the rust of memory.
00:08:13Now, that one I agree with.
00:08:18See, people's brains are basically oysters, all mucousy and gross.
00:08:23But there's always a grain of sand inside trying to annoy the oyster into making a pearl.
00:08:27And not a bogus pearl, either.
00:08:29One with some value.
00:08:31One with some weight.
00:08:33The kind you cast before swine.
00:08:36Come on, Paxil.
00:08:38Come on.
00:08:42Of course, there is such a thing as a false pearl.
00:08:51The ten of rods.
00:08:53You know, it looks like the bartender at Vivisection.
00:08:57What?
00:08:58Good morning, boss.
00:09:00Good morning, boss.
00:09:02The help from Slacker Hell.
00:09:05That's me with the marble.
00:09:07Remind me to nominate you employee of the month.
00:09:11Remind you?
00:09:12Isn't that what's-its job?
00:09:14Post-its.
00:09:15Prozac.
00:09:16Paxil.
00:09:19Then again, if this guy was your only customer, how hard would you work?
00:09:24Welcome to Sweets Muffin Shop.
00:09:27Would you like to hear a list of our muffins today?
00:09:32What's your problem?
00:09:33Layla wants us to be nice to the customers.
00:09:37All right, Dottie.
00:09:38Let me hear a list of your muffins today.
00:09:41Do you have...
00:09:43cranberry?
00:09:47I'll have one of those.
00:09:48Okay.
00:09:53What happened to your arm?
00:09:55You get shot?
00:09:56It's a nicotine patch.
00:09:58Like you don't get enough from smoking.
00:10:04Hey, Layla.
00:10:06Hello.
00:10:07See you tomorrow, Dottie.
00:10:08Will you lock up?
00:10:09Sure.
00:10:09You wanna come out with us tonight?
00:10:11We're gonna get tattoos.
00:10:11Um, I already have plans.
00:10:16All I said was hey.
00:10:20It's like I'm invisible.
00:10:25T'was brillig, and the slithy toves did gyre and gimble in the way.
00:10:30All mimsy were the borogoves, and the moan wrath's outgrave.
00:10:35I remember that one.
00:10:37I'm the faintest idea what it means.
00:10:39I have a picture of Evie and me here as kids.
00:10:42Yes, I know, dear.
00:10:43I took it.
00:10:43You were six.
00:10:46Mammy, are you sorry that you never had children of your own?
00:10:49But I do.
00:10:49I have two beautiful daughters.
00:10:51You know what I mean.
00:10:53I don't think children were ever an option for me.
00:10:56Or for your uncle.
00:10:59What's on your mind, sweetie?
00:11:02I wanna have a baby.
00:11:05Immaculately.
00:11:06Vaginally.
00:11:09Oh, dear.
00:11:13This is not a pretty mental picture.
00:11:15Gee, thanks.
00:11:16No, seriously, I can't even get your clothes off.
00:11:18Evie!
00:11:20Layla, I'm sorry.
00:11:21It's just that for ten years you've been locked up tighter than a nun.
00:11:25And now all of a sudden you want the Kama Sutra.
00:11:28Just the part that gets you pregnant.
00:11:31Okay.
00:11:33Well, you know, there are working parts.
00:11:38Penis?
00:11:39Good.
00:11:39Well, it's not a minute.
00:11:41.
00:12:01Make sure you lose the panties.
00:12:06what nothing you're not wearing panties no i'm wearing underwear you don't see men running
00:12:16around in panties maybe in a perfect world fine job excuse me
00:12:28occupation i run a muffin shop gee that's what i do shouldn't i be getting undressed now
00:12:37oh sure the doctor will be beating the door down any minute now
00:12:59so
00:13:07so
00:13:10so
00:13:12so
00:13:12so
00:13:13so
00:13:14so
00:13:14so
00:13:14so
00:13:14so
00:13:15so
00:13:15so
00:13:15so
00:13:16so
00:13:16so
00:13:17so
00:13:27i'm sorry to keep you waiting
00:13:31uh i'm dr kirk
00:13:34as in beverly
00:13:36uh yes my mother claims it's british
00:13:39uh this really is quite the horrifying coincidence
00:13:43i could refer you to a colleague
00:13:44no
00:13:44thank you
00:13:45that won't be necessary
00:13:49horrifying
00:13:50not of course what i meant at all embarrassing is what i meant
00:13:54i mean for me that is
00:13:57uh
00:13:58do you know that's on backwards
00:14:00i thought it was supposed to be
00:14:02uh not here
00:14:03oh
00:14:05well i could turn it around
00:14:07no we'll manage
00:14:22so
00:14:23so you'd like to start a family
00:14:24how that's lovely
00:14:26uh
00:14:26i noticed you answered the sex question no
00:14:29yes
00:14:31i see
00:14:34how long have you and your partner been trying to conceive
00:14:38i don't have a donor
00:14:40as of yet
00:14:44artificial insemination
00:14:46no thank you
00:14:48right
00:14:50i'll tell you what let's uh start with the routine exam
00:14:52and uh
00:14:53when you leave i'll recommend an population kit
00:14:55the instructions are on the package
00:14:59oh
00:15:01sorry
00:15:01i
00:15:02i was bored
00:15:04it can be erased
00:15:06you wrote this
00:15:08it's uh
00:15:09ben casey
00:15:11yeah
00:15:19i can't remember the one for birth
00:15:22doctor
00:15:24doctor
00:15:25yes of course i'm sorry
00:15:28right
00:15:29right
00:15:30um
00:15:39i have trouble finding a uh
00:15:41oh
00:15:42your
00:15:42your ears are on your neck
00:15:44go on
00:15:45i'd
00:15:47would you be more comfortable if the nurse were present
00:15:49no
00:15:51no thank you
00:16:14wait
00:16:15did you lock it
00:16:16yeah i locked it
00:16:17hmm
00:16:18hmm
00:16:20he didn't lock it
00:16:21why are you looking at it
00:16:23she didn't give you the one key
00:16:24no no no no no
00:16:25is the customer in there
00:16:27i don't know
00:16:27you were just in there
00:16:44Well, I understand that, but I'm not the person who rents out clowns.
00:16:51I'm sure you want his birthday party to be special.
00:16:54Who wouldn't?
00:16:57Hello?
00:16:59I'm not the person who rents out clowns.
00:17:01You mistakenly called my number when you were trying to reach clowns to go.
00:17:04Their number's the same as mine, but in the 718 area code.
00:17:07Hello?
00:17:08Mrs. Barrows?
00:17:09Hello?
00:17:09Hi, my name's Layla Sweet.
00:17:11I'm not the person who rents out clowns.
00:17:12You mistakenly called my number when you were trying to reach clowns to go.
00:17:15See, their number's the same as mine, but in the 718 area code.
00:17:20I get a lot of calls from people looking for clowns and...
00:17:24You know those people who say, get a life?
00:17:27Sure.
00:17:28I'll hold.
00:17:30Well, if you're a single, sexually challenged babe in the big city, this is a life.
00:17:36That is, until an actual one shows up.
00:18:03I saw Evie yesterday.
00:18:05How is your sister?
00:18:07Good.
00:18:07She's working on another fish story for the magazine.
00:18:11One uses the Ivy League education I paid for to write about food, the other to serve it.
00:18:16There they are.
00:18:17I think she's getting cold feet.
00:18:19That's perfectly normal.
00:18:21Oh, that reminds me.
00:18:22I have to check some measurements for your dress.
00:18:24Oh, not today, Mammy.
00:18:25Please.
00:18:28I understand you've got a new doctor.
00:18:30Are there any secrets in this family?
00:18:32How did you find him?
00:18:34Handsome?
00:18:35Competent.
00:18:37Bull feathers.
00:18:38He's a hunk.
00:18:40How would you know?
00:18:41Evie emailed his file.
00:18:44Oh, God.
00:18:45If you can't give it up for a cute single doctor, I'll shoot your dog.
00:18:50He's not trying to pressure you, dear.
00:18:52Yes, I am.
00:18:56When I say push, you have to push hard.
00:18:59And don't freak out if there's a little blood, okay?
00:19:01Won't it hurt?
00:19:02For a little while.
00:19:03Just make sure it goes all the way through and catch the needle with the cork.
00:19:07Okay.
00:19:08Got any cream?
00:19:09Check the fridge.
00:19:11We're out.
00:19:13Okay, you ready?
00:19:14Mm-hmm.
00:19:15Alright.
00:19:16One.
00:19:17Two.
00:19:18Three.
00:19:19Go!
00:19:20Ow.
00:19:22Okay.
00:19:23Good.
00:19:23Good.
00:19:23Good.
00:19:24Good.
00:19:25Just let it stay until it takes.
00:19:27Tell me if you think I've got this right.
00:19:31Attractive, intelligent, self-employed woman, not 30, virgin, seeks potent, genetically sound
00:19:37man, 25 to 44, short-term sex.
00:19:40No romantics or commitment seekers, please.
00:19:57So, you mentioned in your questionnaire that you have, um, four kids.
00:20:03Can I ask if you're still in touch with them?
00:20:06Well, as much as the next guy, I suppose.
00:20:09We know teenagers, they have a mind of their own.
00:20:11So, your wife has custody.
00:20:14You know, custody, divorce.
00:20:20You are divorced.
00:20:29Actually, uh, where I come from, I'm known as being large.
00:20:34And, uh, do you want to see?
00:20:36No.
00:20:36Oh, okay.
00:20:38I'll put the doggy in a pound for you, baby.
00:20:40I'll get you barking like a coon hound.
00:20:44I'm just really horny.
00:20:46Woo!
00:20:47I don't show blanks.
00:20:48Full metal jacket.
00:20:50I once had an erection for, for 19 and a half hours.
00:20:54You sure you don't want to take a little peek?
00:20:57Also, the idea of not paying for sex is, is a new idea to me.
00:21:06You know, I almost didn't come over.
00:21:09The whole thing just seemed so, I don't know, clinical.
00:21:14Then I realized the sacrifice you were making for this baby.
00:21:18I thought, well, maybe I could help.
00:21:21Maybe I was chosen to help.
00:21:25That the Virgin of the Plains was risen.
00:21:27And that I, the foul spawn of indifference, had found purchase on the honeyed trail.
00:21:51I'm sorry, no more men.
00:21:53What?
00:21:55No interviews.
00:21:57Don't want one.
00:21:59Who are you?
00:22:03What are you supposed to be?
00:22:04What do you mean what?
00:22:05Slappy the Clown.
00:22:11Nothing rings a bell?
00:22:13What kind of childhood did you have that you don't know Slappy the Clown when he comes to your own
00:22:17front door?
00:22:18I heard of him.
00:22:19I just thought he was cuter.
00:22:21I brought you these.
00:22:25Don't you frighten the children?
00:22:28I just want to thank you for referring all those calls to Clowns To Go.
00:22:32Hey, you!
00:22:34Tickles!
00:22:35F*** off!
00:22:36It's Slappy, okay?
00:22:38And eat me, pal.
00:22:41Well, I'm sorry to bother you.
00:22:44Here.
00:22:49Bye!
00:22:51BLEEP!
00:22:55Yep.
00:22:59Bye!
00:23:13BLEEP!
00:23:21Oh, stay back, lady.
00:23:23I...
00:23:23What?
00:23:24I'm sorry.
00:23:26I just don't want any menus.
00:23:28Did I ask you if you wanted any menus, lady?
00:23:30I didn't ask you if you wanted any menus.
00:23:32I don't care if you want menus.
00:23:34Well, I don't.
00:23:36Good.
00:23:36Because I don't want to crawl around like a reptile
00:23:39passing the damn things out.
00:23:40Oh, poor you.
00:23:42Right.
00:23:43Poor me.
00:23:45If I don't hand these out, I don't eat.
00:23:47Well, if you'd bothered to read my sign,
00:23:51none of this would have happened.
00:23:52I read your sign.
00:23:54I ignore it.
00:23:55That's how I make money.
00:23:57And anyhow, aren't you a bit attractive
00:24:00to be doling out menus for a living?
00:24:03What's that supposed to mean?
00:24:05Nothing, except you could be, like, a supermodel.
00:24:09Then I definitely couldn't eat.
00:24:12Fine.
00:24:14So, what do you want to be?
00:24:16According to my MFA, I am a poet.
00:24:19Really?
00:24:19I love poetry.
00:24:21Say one.
00:24:23What am I, a jukebox?
00:24:26Oh, come on.
00:24:28It'll be fun.
00:24:30We could go get coffee and muffins.
00:24:33Do you think I need a date?
00:24:42Me?
00:24:43I'd have this guy in a bondage chair
00:24:45with a rubber ball in his mouth.
00:24:47But Layla's going this stale coffee, burnt pastry route.
00:24:51We should probably have a talk.
00:25:00Let me guess.
00:25:02A donut?
00:25:03That's not mine.
00:25:18What are you looking at?
00:25:20Him.
00:25:22He's a friend.
00:25:24Okay.
00:25:25How'd you find a friend?
00:25:26On the street.
00:25:28He's a starving artist.
00:25:30That explains the donut.
00:25:33It's not a donut.
00:25:35And, uh, I have to take it somewhere.
00:25:38So, when he gets up, give him whatever he wants.
00:25:41Don't worry.
00:25:42And then, you know, show him the ropes.
00:25:44We don't have ropes around here, Layla.
00:25:46If we did, we'd hang ourselves.
00:25:48So, what's he gonna do?
00:25:50What you do.
00:25:52Do you think he can handle it?
00:25:57We're supposed to tell you what to do around here.
00:26:00As you can see, business isn't an issue.
00:26:04But there is something that desperately needs doing.
00:26:10The cheese?
00:26:12The balls.
00:26:14You have to tell her about the birds and the bees.
00:26:17They fly.
00:26:18No, no, no, no, no.
00:26:19Um, you have to tell her how to get boned.
00:26:24Consider it done.
00:26:27You did her?
00:26:30She's been clued.
00:26:32Right here?
00:26:34Right here.
00:26:35Six hours of good, hard, honest talking.
00:26:42Is that a slam?
00:26:44She was a bit confused about the penis.
00:26:47Who isn't?
00:26:48Straight up.
00:26:49You guys make the worst muffins I've ever tasted.
00:26:53The customer likes them.
00:27:03What?
00:27:05What?
00:27:05What?
00:27:19You are this one.
00:27:20You, man.
00:27:27I'm happy to be.
00:27:28This is a new house.
00:27:28I'm happy.
00:27:28I'm happy.
00:27:29I'm happy.
00:27:31I'm happy.
00:27:33I'm happy.
00:27:58I don't have an appointment.
00:28:00No, please, come in.
00:28:06Sorry about Timmy, he's mad at his mother for being pregnant.
00:28:11Me too.
00:28:12Let me get your towel.
00:28:20Here, it's birth.
00:28:22Oh, you found it.
00:28:24It's kind of messy.
00:28:26Well, it usually is.
00:28:27Um, huh.
00:28:30Sit.
00:28:36Oops.
00:28:38Um, circles.
00:28:39Uh, I don't remember circles.
00:28:47So, uh, I have your, uh, your test results back.
00:28:51And everything looks normal.
00:28:52I'm normal.
00:28:54Well, not normal.
00:28:55Well, that sounds like average, which of course I don't mean.
00:28:58Uh, you're certainly way, way above average.
00:29:00Like, uh, I don't know, uh, spectacular.
00:29:06Uh, the point being, uh, I don't see any reason why you shouldn't be able to have a child.
00:29:11If you want to.
00:29:14Would you like a grapefruit juice?
00:29:16Oh, sir.
00:29:18Oh, sir, yes.
00:29:18You mentioned that.
00:29:19You read my chart then.
00:29:21I'm nearly through it.
00:29:23Uh, you have wonderful penmanship.
00:29:24I suppose I was a little thorough.
00:29:26Uh, no, no.
00:29:27I learned you have very good teeth.
00:29:29Not that that matters to me, of course.
00:29:31And that, uh, we had a fine education.
00:29:34Uh, which you used to, uh, uh, to become a waitress in a donut shop.
00:29:41Proprietor.
00:29:42Muffins.
00:29:43Uh, that your height and weight are perfect.
00:29:45Uh, not to mention your skin, of course, and your eyes.
00:29:53Would you call out with me?
00:29:56I, I really can't.
00:29:58Of course not.
00:29:59I'm sorry.
00:30:00Not that I'm against it.
00:30:01Just that it leads to, you know.
00:30:03Indicourse.
00:30:05You got pretty far in my chart.
00:30:08I was actually referring to love and marriage.
00:30:11Those two, I don't do.
00:30:14The other thing, well, I just haven't done yet.
00:30:18That's why I'm here.
00:30:24That's not birth.
00:30:26What?
00:30:27Birth's not a donut.
00:30:28It's an upside down triangle.
00:30:31Your source?
00:30:32The what?
00:30:33Yours?
00:30:34A poet?
00:30:36I think we got a loser.
00:30:38Thank you, Jean.
00:30:45Well, I should go.
00:30:49Timmy's probably out there squirting things.
00:30:53Um, I just wanted to give birth to you.
00:30:57The sign.
00:30:59Oh.
00:31:00Yeah.
00:31:01Yeah.
00:31:03Okay.
00:31:28Hey.
00:31:29Hey, hey.
00:31:30Timmy.
00:31:31This is not a toy.
00:31:33Okay?
00:31:33You understand?
00:31:34You could seriously hurt somebody with one of these.
00:31:39Is Mr. Peters here?
00:31:44There.
00:32:00Where'd he get food?
00:32:04is he astray leila adopted him hey who are you strictly need to know basis
00:32:17where's leila she's not upstairs sorry tight ship as usual girls this place is like the
00:32:24microsoft of muffin shops thanks nice dear your skin and bones i'm gonna make you a tin roof
00:32:41it's your uncle's favorite every bite could kill him
00:32:47mammy you're kind of like a woman right it's a good thing i love you here
00:32:54you know what i mean you're softer than uncle thank you sweetie
00:33:01do you still have sex with him
00:33:05you do know that normal people don't talk like this
00:33:09when you do does a big bell go off or something because i've interviewed some men and i don't
00:33:16think i have a bell maybe it's just in a different key dear you have to wait for the right
00:33:23song
00:33:43i had a sunbound clouds and rainbows
00:33:49out of the car
00:33:51out of the car
00:33:53out of the car
00:33:54but anything
00:33:58anything
00:34:02i've been a
00:34:04out of my prison
00:34:07with blue and grey for the skies and bow
00:34:10Here's some Twinkies.
00:34:12Framed inside with a cell, anything but love.
00:34:20Yeah, I had to go, but I won't miss him.
00:34:25I've got better things to do, like writing stories
00:34:30and making pictures of anything but love.
00:35:09Nothing about the children!
00:35:11I like the story about a couple
00:35:16Still apart from an old movie
00:35:20You can tell what inspired you
00:35:25Or anything in love
00:35:29You had to go, but I won't miss him
00:35:34I've got better things to do
00:35:38Like writing stories and painting pictures
00:35:43Of anything alone
00:35:47Of anything alone
00:36:11Axel, you fed yourself
00:36:13You're a great dog
00:36:20Hey Lila, it's me
00:36:21I'm with Mammy choosing linens or something
00:36:24Oh, I left you some goodies today
00:36:26Have you picked a guy yet?
00:36:28Call me
00:36:32Hi, my son is having a birthday party on the 17th
00:36:35Hello
00:36:35I was wondering if you had someone who makes balloon animals
00:36:37Especially pigs
00:36:38Please let me know
00:36:39My number is
00:36:40Hello
00:36:42Hello, you there?
00:36:44Hi
00:36:47Who are you?
00:36:49It's me, Slappy
00:36:51You're not Slappy
00:36:52He's got blue hair
00:36:54Alright, so I'm the gingerbread man
00:36:56Do you think I can come upstairs and change my clothes?
00:36:59Please?
00:37:00Why?
00:37:01Because I'm a cookie
00:37:02Hey, you
00:37:03Yeah, you
00:37:05Ginger snack
00:37:06What?
00:37:07Fuck off!
00:37:11Do you have a business card?
00:37:18Eddie
00:37:19Head clown
00:37:24Paxil
00:37:24Head dog
00:37:25I'm Lila
00:37:29Do you think I could use your...
00:37:31Oh yeah, sure
00:37:31It's right back there
00:37:33Thanks
00:37:33Excuse me
00:37:34Oh
00:38:03What are you having?
00:38:06Oh
00:38:06I changed my mind
00:38:10Would you like anything...
00:38:12At all?
00:38:14Along the lines of...
00:38:16Milk
00:38:17Do you have anything along the lines of tequila?
00:38:21I've had a long day
00:38:23There's a bottle up there
00:38:26Scotch
00:38:26But it's ten years old
00:38:28And the label on it warns you that it was twelve years to begin with
00:38:43Looks like you could use some too
00:38:45Me?
00:38:46No
00:38:47I haven't had any since I was eighteen
00:38:52Alcohol
00:38:53I got dumped
00:38:54I got depressed
00:38:55And I drank a whole bottle of Luna
00:38:57And...
00:38:58Ooh
00:38:59Mm-hmm
00:39:00What kind of peckerhead would dump a babe like you?
00:39:04I bet you say that to all the girls
00:39:22What's with the guard dog?
00:39:25He wasn't as pretty as the collies so they dumped him
00:39:28Who dumped him?
00:39:30He's rich and different owners
00:39:33Some people shouldn't have dogs
00:39:36And others who truly deserve them can't have them
00:39:39Like who?
00:39:41Orphans
00:39:42Orphans do not have beautiful dogs with little red collars
00:39:47What about Annie?
00:39:49She's an exception
00:39:51She's a cartoon
00:39:55So...
00:39:56What do you have?
00:39:58Huh
00:40:01What's good?
00:40:04Drink up
00:40:07Drink, drink, drink
00:40:11Thanks
00:40:12N
00:40:13Okay
00:40:17Nepal
00:40:19Oh
00:40:21Uh...
00:40:21Lesiltho
00:40:22Ooh la la
00:40:27Um...
00:40:27Oh
00:40:30There aren't any O's
00:40:32There's one
00:40:36Okinawa
00:40:36That's not a country
00:40:39Ah...
00:40:39That's another drink right there
00:40:41No fair, you've played this before
00:40:44Alright, more ice
00:40:54I fed myself
00:40:56I fed myself
00:40:56Good for you
00:41:01Have a girl
00:41:03I'm trying, I'm trying, okay?
00:41:05Don't...
00:41:05Don't pressure me
00:41:08Wait, you're married?
00:41:10No
00:41:12Gay?
00:41:15No
00:41:16Well help me out here, Layla
00:41:28That's my sex life
00:41:32I'm like...
00:41:33A total...
00:41:35Virgin
00:41:40Will you show me...
00:41:42How?
00:41:46Um...
00:41:47Well...
00:41:48Your lips were a little...
00:41:49A little bit slack
00:41:51You might wanna...
00:41:54Just...
00:41:57To me
00:42:15You'll do
00:42:16You'll do
00:42:17Huh?
00:42:18I don't know
00:42:36I don't know
00:42:45I don't know
00:42:50But...
00:42:52You know
00:42:53You'll do
00:42:54All right
00:42:59I'll do
00:43:01You'll get me
00:43:25I never would have got that.
00:43:29So you didn't actually have sex then?
00:43:30No, not according to the evidence.
00:43:33Well, good.
00:43:35I mean, most people like to at least remember their first time
00:43:39so they can pretend years later they enjoyed it.
00:43:41Look, I want tips. Hard tips. Hard as bullets.
00:43:47I want it to be scary.
00:43:49Tips?
00:43:51Positions. Good ones.
00:43:53I have to answer you?
00:43:55You're my doctor.
00:43:56Yeah. Yes.
00:43:58Well, there's a school of thought which believes that conception may be more likely to occur if one were to...
00:44:09Well, if you were to get up on one's, um, off force, helping to, you know, attaining a sperm near
00:44:20the cervix.
00:44:23Sperm near the cervix?
00:44:24Then after, you might want to, to, to roll over on one's, uh...
00:44:31Back?
00:44:32Good.
00:44:33Not so that you're long.
00:44:34You're, uh...
00:44:35You're up in the air.
00:44:36My legs.
00:44:36That would be fine.
00:44:39And...
00:44:40Bradley takes over.
00:44:42Gee.
00:44:44Doesn't sound like much fun.
00:44:46Speak for yourself.
00:44:56Bad night, dear?
00:44:58I got drunk and kissed a clam.
00:45:00But that's wonderful.
00:45:03I went to the doctor.
00:45:05You don't need a doctor.
00:45:07It got worse at the doctors.
00:45:09It's about love, isn't it?
00:45:11That sickly blue sheen under your skin.
00:45:14An affair of the heart can be wretchedly blue.
00:45:17People have perished.
00:45:19It's alcohol, not love.
00:45:22There's nothing wrong in a little champagne, in moderation, and on the right occasion.
00:45:26What about a tidal wave of scotch?
00:45:29Washes away the inhibitions.
00:45:31Very instrumental in the bedding of your uncle.
00:45:33And look how that turned out.
00:45:36Oh, Lord.
00:45:37Your uncle, the fitting.
00:45:40What's the fitting?
00:45:42Baby sister's big day.
00:45:43They're the maid of honor.
00:45:45I left Ernest in a love car.
00:45:47Today's the final fitting.
00:45:50When was the first?
00:45:51Well, honey, you're not the bride.
00:45:53Well, of course, you will be one.
00:45:56Again.
00:45:57Oh, there's everybody's coat.
00:46:00Just bring me a dress.
00:46:01I don't even care if it fits.
00:46:04Yumi Katsuru waits for no one.
00:46:08She outfitted the nutcracker.
00:46:13I don't see how one person can forget about another person when that person is sitting downstairs in a car
00:46:20for an hour.
00:46:22Twenty minutes, max.
00:46:25Forty bucks, minimum.
00:46:27Where's Evie?
00:46:29You tell her.
00:46:31She's not in the mood.
00:46:33It's her wedding. I'm not in the mood.
00:46:35The important thing is, the only thing is, there is going to be a wedding.
00:46:39What about the dress?
00:46:41Tell her.
00:46:43You tell her.
00:46:44Tell me what?
00:46:48No.
00:46:50Absolutely not.
00:46:51I do not wear gowns.
00:46:53You can, and you will.
00:46:57Oh, no.
00:46:58Don't worry, you're getting out the jiffy.
00:47:01And you're practically the same size as Evie, except for the rise.
00:47:04And there is no rise.
00:47:05And of course, the little white panties.
00:47:08How do you do?
00:47:10Is this the joyful bride?
00:47:12No.
00:47:13Do I detect a few jitters?
00:47:15You detect a bottle of scotch.
00:47:18Where's the dumb dress?
00:47:19Please excuse my extra niece.
00:47:22She poo-poos love and marriage.
00:47:24Ah, the single sister of the bride.
00:47:28Poor child.
00:47:29For this poor child, we'll also need something in white.
00:47:32As we mentioned, we're planning an all-white wedding.
00:47:35This one actually is a virgin.
00:47:37The bride, of course, is not.
00:47:39Yes.
00:47:40Yes.
00:47:40Don't worry.
00:47:42When a young woman puts on a wedding dress, even someone else's,
00:47:45she's positively transformed.
00:47:47Come on.
00:47:49Come on.
00:47:50Come on.
00:47:53Come on.
00:47:56Come on.
00:48:13Wow.
00:48:23Come on.osuon
00:48:28are you alone?"
00:48:41Till the moon and the stars fly away
00:48:51So far
00:49:03You're a bad boy
00:49:05No, I'm not
00:49:07Yes, you are
00:49:10No, I'm not
00:49:11Yes, you are
00:49:13No, I'm not
00:49:19Spartacus?
00:49:21Me, Addie
00:49:23Well, you look like Spartacus
00:49:25Then you look like a lot of people
00:49:29Why are you crying?
00:49:32Because I barfed on my sister's wedding dress
00:49:36You can tell me
00:49:38I just did
00:49:40Come on, Layla
00:49:44You're trying to get me to say that I'm crying
00:49:48Well, that I'm really crying because I once was a kid
00:49:54And I once had parents
00:49:58And I once had secret hopes and dreams
00:50:02But I'm afraid that that's not it
00:50:05It's that I threw up on my sister's dress
00:50:09Well, my uncles will have it clean but still my sister, my little baby sister has to get married in
00:50:14a dress that I barfed on
00:50:16Once you barf on it, they make you buy it
00:50:20Bastards
00:50:23One look I'm talking about
00:50:26One
00:50:28And suddenly I am
00:50:30I'm in this vortex of some giant sucking, unfathomably forceful
00:50:39Force
00:50:41We're still talking about the Virgin, right?
00:50:44It's more like a great big thundering speedball of a rushing toady flood
00:50:54You know that feeling?
00:50:56Lust?
00:50:59Dread
00:51:00The kind of dread that perfect women inspire
00:51:04I'm married
00:51:06She writes five TV show words on my blackboard
00:51:09And I run with it, boy, do I run with it
00:51:11Let it out
00:51:16I don't completely remember last night
00:51:19You were toast
00:51:21Still, I should thank you for being such a gentleman
00:51:24You were a tad unconscious at the time
00:51:26They have laws about that
00:51:28Gee, you're like the perfect clown
00:51:32Not a clown now
00:51:34No, you're a vulcanized gladiator
00:51:37I saw the movie
00:51:40Touch my chest
00:51:42Well, it's so cold and synthetic
00:51:44But inside beats the heart of a lion
00:51:48Noble Roman
00:51:49The sword is at your service
00:51:53Would you be so shamelessly used?
00:51:57I'm Spartacus
00:51:59You really do deserve to wear the skirts
00:52:09When you areishes
00:52:09Put your pants
00:52:11Alright, here we go
00:52:12Get out here
00:52:13Get out here
00:52:14Get out here
00:52:15Get out here
00:52:15Get out here
00:52:15That's it
00:52:16Good boy, madam
00:52:19Okay, what happened next to all the details?
00:52:21So, then you took off his helmet, and he kissed me a lot, all over, and you were awake.
00:52:32That's so gross.
00:52:34Breastplate on earth.
00:52:36Oh my god, this is just like ice cold.
00:52:41Did you touch it?
00:52:43I laughed at it.
00:52:44No, Leila, no.
00:52:47Well, he took it out, I laughed, and he laughed, that's all.
00:52:52That's all.
00:52:53I knew that's probably enough.
00:52:57I told you I couldn't trip that shit here!
00:53:01Love you, baby.
00:53:03Yeah, come on now.
00:53:06He's quite graceful.
00:53:10He's rich.
00:53:12He's gorgeous.
00:53:16He's perfect in bed.
00:53:21Oh, god.
00:53:23Come on.
00:53:47Hey, boss, I haven't seen you in a while.
00:53:50Where are all these people?
00:53:52Customers.
00:53:53When do we get customers?
00:53:57Here's the deal, Harvard.
00:53:59From now on, the menu's whatever I decide to cook.
00:54:03I set the prices according to who's buying.
00:54:07Lawyers can no longer afford to eat here.
00:54:10Hey, I'm a lawyer.
00:54:11Who is this guy?
00:54:13He hates that question.
00:54:14How would you know?
00:54:20I get no salary but 10% of the gross.
00:54:24We close on Wednesdays because I don't like Wednesdays.
00:54:27We are close on Sundays because I do like Sundays.
00:54:30But it's possible that I will leave at any time.
00:54:34Do we have an understanding?
00:54:37Are you wanted or something?
00:54:38Good one, Donald.
00:54:40Say yes, boss.
00:54:42Can you get her here by 6 a.m.?
00:54:45Nose rings set and shined.
00:54:46Doubtful.
00:54:47Doubtful.
00:54:48Very, very doubtful.
00:54:50So, who's angry?
00:54:53I can eat.
00:54:54What about you?
00:54:55I don't know how to price your meal.
00:54:59Layla.
00:55:01Uh, Eddie.
00:55:04Listen, I don't know what got into me last night.
00:55:08I'm not a dad.
00:55:10Some clown.
00:55:11Last night?
00:55:13It's a long story.
00:55:16So, this is Slappy?
00:55:17All the good names were taken.
00:55:20Could we take this?
00:55:25Listen, Layla.
00:55:27I'm beginning to feel a little bit objectified here.
00:55:30Well, Defender?
00:55:33Oh, good.
00:55:34Children.
00:55:35Are you really the Defender?
00:55:38Sure, why not?
00:55:39Then you gotta help her.
00:55:41She's sick.
00:55:47How is she?
00:55:49I'm only hypothermic.
00:55:50A little weak.
00:55:50She'll be fine.
00:55:52Well, you always feel better when they throw up on me.
00:55:54Uh, who are you again?
00:55:56Eddie.
00:55:57Head clown.
00:55:59Oh.
00:56:02So, someone must be worried about you, huh?
00:56:04What's your name?
00:56:06I'm Jack.
00:56:07She's Red.
00:56:08Nobody's worried.
00:56:10Okay.
00:56:11Red.
00:56:12That's a pretty name.
00:56:13Do you remember your address?
00:56:14Hmm?
00:56:15She zipped her lips.
00:56:17Really?
00:56:17You know, I once did that too.
00:56:18I once zipped mine for about a month.
00:56:20So, where's your secret key?
00:56:22It's a zipper.
00:56:24Not a lock.
00:56:25Huh.
00:56:27Whoops.
00:56:30Okay, then what about you?
00:56:32What's your address?
00:56:33Same as hers.
00:56:34Or twins.
00:56:36Huh.
00:56:37Well, on that note, Doc, Layla, kids, I'm off to right some wrongs.
00:56:48Is he your boyfriend?
00:56:50I don't have boyfriends, Jack.
00:56:53He's not really a superhero, you know.
00:56:56Not by a long stretch.
00:56:59Here you go, sweetie.
00:57:00You want that?
00:57:02My dog?
00:57:05I was gonna mention him.
00:57:06Hey.
00:57:07That's her dog.
00:57:09Okay.
00:57:10Will you take good care of him?
00:57:12Hmm?
00:57:13He zipped his lips too.
00:57:16Jack.
00:57:17Red.
00:57:18You're staying with me tonight, okay?
00:57:21You got a cable?
00:57:34I'm just gonna go tuck her in, okay?
00:57:36Okay.
00:57:38Your room's right there.
00:57:40Yeah.
00:57:51I'm just gonna wait here for a second.
00:57:56Okay.
00:57:57You know, make sure everything's cool.
00:58:02I understand.
00:58:03Cuz you never know what's gonna happen.
00:58:07That's true.
00:58:09I'm not even that tired.
00:58:12You're a brave guy, Jack.
00:58:13He took good care of your sister.
00:58:16Can I shake your hand?
00:58:22All right.
00:58:23You know, I was thinking, though, what if, uh, what if Red wakes up and, uh, you're not there?
00:58:29She might get scared?
00:58:32Amanda, you'd rather have your own room, but you think for tonight you might stay with her?
00:58:37Protect her?
00:58:39Yeah?
00:58:40Yeah.
00:58:42Yeah.
00:58:56I may not be perfect at this, but I won't be mean.
00:59:00So, please, don't get anything bad or fatal or indictable while you're here.
00:59:07Or not here.
00:59:09Actually, don't get anything anywhere.
00:59:12Okay?
00:59:15Amen.
00:59:18And you.
00:59:20Look after them, Buster.
00:59:31And you.
00:59:33Look after them, Buster.
00:59:46You're not an astronaut.
00:59:46Because there was always spacesuits lying around the house.
00:59:50Mm-hmm.
00:59:52His real job was to make sure that the visors on the helmets didn't steam up.
01:00:00You're not an astronaut.
01:00:00Not everyone's a star.
01:00:14What's gonna happen to them?
01:00:16I don't know.
01:00:18I'll make some calls.
01:00:20I was thinking that they could stay here.
01:00:23What about your mission?
01:00:24Well, I can postpone that.
01:00:28Still, I think Eddie's an excellent choice.
01:00:31He can name almost every country.
01:00:34On Krypton?
01:00:35I'm serious.
01:00:37Okay, seriously then, I would have to say the clown in question is not an excellent choice.
01:00:45It's less than excellent.
01:00:46In fact, actually, it's insane.
01:00:50It is stupendously, mind-numbingly insane.
01:00:58You don't practice on children, Layla.
01:01:00You don't pick daddies off a Wheaties box.
01:01:04The only thing more idiotic than letting that guy touch you is letting him father your child.
01:01:10And the only thing dumber than that is you having a child in the first place.
01:01:15Is that a medical opinion?
01:01:18No.
01:01:19No.
01:01:20Do you want one?
01:01:22No.
01:01:32You know, when I was about four, my mom was pregnant with my little sister.
01:01:39And she asked me if I wanted to touch her stomach.
01:01:45And I burst out crying because I thought that she'd swallowed this baby.
01:01:50That she was gonna swallow me.
01:01:55So...
01:01:57So she told me that she loved me more than anything.
01:02:03That I had nothing to be scared of.
01:02:07I mean, the reason I know, I mean, I absolutely know, that you can love somebody again, Layla.
01:02:14Is that you're so completely afraid to.
01:02:21Why are you doing this to me?
01:02:26Why are you doing this to me?
01:02:30Please.
01:02:32I can't.
01:02:37Look, I...
01:02:38I told you from the beginning.
01:02:40No, I know. You don't do love.
01:02:44Why?
01:02:48I'm sorry.
01:02:52Me too.
01:03:16...
01:03:46You're so sorry.
01:03:46Give me a brush.
01:04:25This is a very lucky card.
01:04:28This means that you'll have a lot of luck.
01:04:33Rest steady, little flip.
01:04:36I got pancake.
01:04:57Hey, you.
01:05:01You guys ready?
01:05:04Not done.
01:05:12Hands up.
01:05:28Ten minutes, kids.
01:05:30I'm out of here, okay?
01:05:35Eddie, it's Layla.
01:05:38Um, I just wanted to thank you for what you almost did to me.
01:05:46Oh, and under the cape?
01:05:48Very impressive.
01:05:50I know, I've seen videos.
01:05:52Certainly didn't mean to laugh.
01:05:55But this just isn't a good time for me at all.
01:06:00And thank you.
01:06:03You've been very kind.
01:06:06Oh, and by the way, um, Mrs. Herbert is looking for two clowns on Sunday.
01:06:13I said you were excellent.
01:06:15Everything you do, everywhere you go, and everything you do, you do it for your lady love, your lady love,
01:06:24your lady love, your lady love.
01:06:49Oh, God, that girl talk.
01:06:51Let them be.
01:06:51This is a precious time for sisters.
01:06:55Ten minutes.
01:06:58I could be making a big mistake.
01:07:05Me too.
01:07:07This isn't about you.
01:07:09Sorry.
01:07:14Snoddy little monster.
01:07:16She won't put on the dress.
01:07:18Oh, speak to me.
01:07:20She's not your talker.
01:07:22Oh, are you?
01:07:25Huh?
01:07:28Do we know any of these people?
01:07:31That's Dr. Beverly.
01:07:36Well, is this the way he felt before you almost got married?
01:07:46No.
01:07:48I felt perfect.
01:07:51I felt beautiful.
01:07:54Well, that's fucked up.
01:07:57Thanks.
01:07:59No, that's good.
01:08:01Because you were really happy.
01:08:03And the guy bailed.
01:08:06And I'm really...
01:08:09drunk.
01:08:11So, this is good.
01:08:14This is fine.
01:08:20You shave your outfits.
01:08:24I do.
01:08:30Oh, my God.
01:08:32You look like an angel.
01:08:37Very nice.
01:08:40Could we get on with this?
01:08:53Red.
01:08:56You're beautiful.
01:09:01So are you.
01:09:02Mm-hmm.
01:09:05Okay.
01:09:06All in our places with sunshiny faces.
01:09:20Okay.
01:09:21All in our places with sunshiny faces.
01:09:33Oh, shit.
01:09:34What?
01:09:35I forgot to write my vows.
01:09:38We were supposed to write vows.
01:09:41I...
01:10:05Needle Harvard.
01:10:06Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
01:10:22In the maze, they still let heterosexuals marry.
01:10:26Is the groom at least here this time?
01:10:29He's here.
01:10:32When Evie divorces him and remarries,
01:10:35you do realize we'll have at least one more of these?
01:10:39Your pessimism has no place at this ceremony.
01:11:17Would you agree that the eyes are the windows of the soul?
01:11:22Uh, absolutely, Father.
01:11:26Perhaps your bride might like a glimpse of your soul just now.
01:11:37Dearly beloved,
01:11:39We are gathered here in the sight of God and in the face of this company to join together this
01:11:43man and this woman in holy matrimony.
01:11:47You two.
01:11:52Rough night.
01:11:55Before we recite the traditional vows, I understand the bride and groom have taken the time to compose something from
01:12:01their hearts.
01:12:06Why do I have to go first?
01:12:08Just reading what you've written, son.
01:12:18Why do I have to go first?
01:12:19Just reading what you've written, son.
01:12:20I love you.
01:12:22Deeply.
01:12:25Like the deep snow.
01:12:29Like the deep snow.
01:12:31Like the deep snow.
01:12:35Sometimes the heart is too full for words.
01:12:39And the bride's declaration?
01:12:48Is she drunk?
01:12:53You know, there's a guy in a bee suit here.
01:12:56It's a bee.
01:12:59Oh.
01:13:01Just forget it.
01:13:02Let's, uh...
01:13:03Let's move on.
01:13:05Deep snow?
01:13:08Well then.
01:13:11If any man could show just cause why these two may not lawfully be joined together, let him speak now,
01:13:17or else hereafter forever hold his peace.
01:13:24Anyone?
01:13:27No.
01:13:29Excuse me.
01:13:30Wilt thou, Donald, take this woman to be thy wedded wife?
01:13:34Wilt thou love her, comfort her, honor and keep her, in sickness and in health, as long as you both
01:13:39shall live?
01:13:41I do.
01:13:43Wilt.
01:13:47Wilt thou, Evie, take this man to thy wedded husband?
01:13:50Wilt thou love him, comfort him, honor and keep him, in sickness and in health, as long as you both
01:13:56shall live?
01:13:58Oh, boy.
01:13:59Huh.
01:14:01Just saying I do.
01:14:06Well...
01:14:07... or I do, eh.
01:14:11Or...
01:14:12... something else.
01:14:13Excuse me?
01:14:15Is it too late to forever not hold my peace?
01:14:19Uh...
01:14:21I mean, to speak now.
01:14:23Who is this woman?
01:14:25Sister.
01:14:26Look, Donald.
01:14:28I know this is really tricky timing and everything.
01:14:32I mean, God, you've got your whole family here.
01:14:35But look, my guy didn't even make it inside the church.
01:14:38At least Evie walked all the way up here to tell you.
01:14:42Tell me what?
01:14:43That you're not the one, Donald.
01:14:47You're certainly a one.
01:14:48And probably even the one to a lot of women.
01:14:51Evie says you really know your way around a waterbed.
01:14:55But you're just gonna have to be somebody else's big one.
01:15:00Well, that makes it unanimous.
01:15:02You're not.
01:15:02Louis, you're his father.
01:15:05Anyway, I'm the last person who should say anything about love.
01:15:12But I know what it looks like.
01:15:15You see, it's this thing.
01:15:18It's this really, it's this thing that gets under your skin.
01:15:26And...
01:15:27And what in me is dark illumines?
01:15:33Wow, that's great.
01:15:36Very medieval.
01:15:37But no, I was gonna say it's a hairball.
01:15:40It's an unholy hairball.
01:15:44Which rots and festers and grows enormous.
01:15:50So for like 12 years, you don't lay a finger on it for fear that when it stops choking and
01:15:58itching and gagging you, you won't feel anything at all.
01:16:04And then, one day, a light bulb goes on and you see.
01:16:16Well, that your sister shouldn't marry the man that she intended to.
01:16:22Well, that's all.
01:16:26She's right, Donald.
01:16:29You think about it?
01:16:30You understand, don't you?
01:16:33I understand.
01:16:35I just don't know where to go.
01:16:37Well, don't go anywhere.
01:16:40We're, uh, we're unmarried.
01:16:42We're not dead.
01:16:43We can still get together later.
01:16:47Well then, if there are no more completely inappropriate surprises, perhaps now would be a fine time to call these
01:16:54proceedings to a full floor.
01:16:56Wait, there's actually just one more thing.
01:17:00Of course there is.
01:17:03When I was 17, I stood outside of this very church and swore to God that I would never again
01:17:11let anyone tell me they love me.
01:17:14And guess what?
01:17:17Nobody has.
01:17:20Because the longer that the wall stood, the higher it got.
01:17:25Until no one could knock it down anymore.
01:17:28Least of all me.
01:17:31I've spent a long time scared to let anyone in.
01:17:36Especially the one who's hiding out there behind the curtain.
01:17:41How about it, Beverly?
01:17:44Will you love me?
01:17:46Beverly, not in my church.
01:17:48He's a man, Reverend.
01:17:50He's a good and kind man.
01:17:52But even if you're a woman, I'd love him till death even dared.
01:17:56Beverly, will you keep me and comfort me in sickness and dubious mental health?
01:18:05Beverly?
01:18:14Okay.
01:18:36We may never get this close again, so kiss me, darling.
01:18:40Are you insane?
01:18:55As for the rest of us, no real change in forecast.
01:19:00The customer smokes and pines, but mostly smokes.
01:19:07Many men actually did manage to turn this dump around, all the while banging Evie who
01:19:13continues to date Donald.
01:19:16Dottie's in a millennium cult.
01:19:20Mammy, our den mother, is deeply in denial, forever planning fabulous weddings that will
01:19:26never come and fussing over the adopted twins.
01:19:32Ernest, on the other hand, thinks children, like dogs, should be seen and not heard.
01:19:39I don't know who that guy is with Preacher, but he kind of smells.
01:19:44Me, I got stung by Eddie, repeatedly, until I realized I was allergic to bees.
01:19:52I have something for you.
01:19:56It's birth.
01:20:01I have something for you, too.
01:20:08Where are they going?
01:20:09Boy, you're dumb.
01:20:16Wine comes in at the mouth, love comes in at the eye, that is all we shall know of truth
01:20:22before we grow old and die.
01:20:25I lift my glass to my mouth, I look at you, and I sigh.
01:20:30That's Layla's favorite poem, which she learned at Harvard.
01:20:32She says it's romantic, but I take it to mean a guy will only love you when he's loaded.
01:20:39Which is why I have no plans for college.
01:20:46I brought something for Layla, I got something for Layla, I was going to bring it if she wanted
01:20:51to give her.
01:20:52I found this in the garbage.
01:20:55It's a, I think it was like a snowball, you know, it's got, it's New York City in here.
01:21:03It's New York and there was like water with snow in it and stuff, and it must have broke.
01:21:10And I thought, I thought she would like, it actually plays a song.
01:21:19See, this is the Empire State Building here.
01:21:25That's the Plymouth, no, Chrysler Building.
01:21:32And, um, I love New York, man, I really love New York.
01:21:37It's such a great town.
01:21:39I mean, I love it when it snows in New York, you know, when it covers all the shit and
01:21:42the
01:21:42grime.
01:21:43I wish it was snow still in it, she would probably, but it still, it still plays a song.
01:21:48And there's Times Square, lots of porno shops.
01:21:51And, uh, there's a little, little cab right there.
01:21:55There's snow, snow in New York.
01:22:00I know the song to, uh, um, start letting me out.
01:22:10Um, I'm coming today.
01:22:16Um, New York, New York, it's a hell of a town.
01:22:25Something's up and the other thing is down.
01:22:29And I'm gonna drive in a cab with Layla all over town.
01:22:36And we'll make it in this town.
01:22:43I love Layla, man, I really love Layla.
01:22:47And we'll make it in a bit of a lamp.
01:22:50And we'll make it in a bit of a lamp.
01:22:53We'll make it in a bit of a lamp.
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