- 2 hours ago
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Short filmTranscript
00:00:11So, I just finished reading this book about boosting your memory.
00:00:15It's really good, actually. You'll have to read it. I'll give it to you.
00:00:18Yeah, I think I read one once. Actually, I'm trying to remember where I left it.
00:00:21I think this one's written by John something. He's some professor at some school.
00:00:26What's that supplement called that's supposed to boost your memory? I think it's called Kinky Balboa.
00:00:33I think it's Gekko Barbaco. Oh yeah, that totally sounds right.
00:01:08I think it's like a lot of craftsmen. It's tough.
00:01:09It's just like a lot of craftsmen.
00:01:10I'm like, you know. I love how my wife is.
00:01:19I'm gonna let you know. I'm gonna let you know.
00:01:20I'm gonna let you know.
00:01:20Had a mess.
00:01:21I've got a mess.
00:01:50Wow, it's about time.
00:01:53Come on you son of a gun, oh you're a big one, oh yeah, oh yeah, oh dang, what the,
00:02:13you should
00:02:19come join us.
00:02:21Yeah, come on in, the water's great.
00:02:24You might want to take off that coat first.
00:02:27Or leave it on, come on let's party.
00:02:30Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.
00:02:43Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.
00:02:58Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.
00:03:45Oh
00:03:53Hey girls! Hi Mrs. Pepperdough! So you girls ready to have a good time this weekend?
00:03:58I can't wait. I've never been camping before. I have. It's really fun. We get to go on hikes
00:04:04and make campfires and roast marshmallows. That sounds like so much work. Can't we just
00:04:08go to the beach? Yeah, there'd be less bugs and dirt. We're not going to the beach. Besides,
00:04:14camping's a lot of fun and you'll learn some necessary survival skills. What are you reading,
00:04:20Marianne? Oh, it's a book on cryptids. How is it? Oh, there's this fascinating chapter. Oh, there's
00:04:28this fascinating chapter on... You're such a geek. You're such an idiot. Spaz! What? Knock it off, girls.
00:04:35Sorry. Sorry Mrs. Pepperdough. Are you princesses done chatting? If we don't get a move on,
00:04:42traffic's going to be a bitch. Now, move it!
00:05:02Yep. Uh huh. All right, put them on.
00:05:09Yeah, that's Barry. Fisherman, huh?
00:05:16Third instant this week? Okay, what's the name of this place again? Skull Mountain,
00:05:26up near Awani. Huh? Okay, I'm sending someone up there to check it out. His name is Harlan James. Huh?
00:05:39Yeah, yeah. I'll contact you once he gets up there. Huh? All right. Thank you for calling.
00:05:51James, get your ass in here.
00:05:55Have I got a story for you. It's not those Jersey Devil twins again, is it? No, this is bigger.
00:06:02And real.
00:06:04Seems a man was out fishing yesterday when his cooler full of beer went missing. Appears it was stolen by
00:06:10Bigfoot. Bigfoot? James, this isn't some made-up grainy camera footage. There were actual footprints
00:06:18left in the mud. This person was so close to Bigfoot he could have kicked him square in the crotch.
00:06:24And he turned around. So, he didn't actually see him? No, but I did just get off the phone with
00:06:32the
00:06:32local sheriff and he told me this is the third incident in two days. The day we get law enforcement
00:06:38calling us with these stories. They have to be real. I need you to get up there and see what
00:06:43you can find.
00:06:44Oh, okay. So, where am I headed? Someplace called Skull Mountain up near Awani. Once you get there,
00:06:53look up Sheriff Bubba Lopez and he'll fill you in. You tell everyone the Tattletail will offer 25,000 cash
00:07:03for anyone who can capture the creature, dead or alive. 25 grand? We've never offered that much for
00:07:11a story. I know, but we're talking about one of the most elusive creatures in the world. If we can
00:07:18just
00:07:18get pictures of this thing, or better yet, his corpse, we'll make a fortune. That seems a little extreme.
00:07:26Hey, that's journalism. You do what you gotta do to get your story. After all these years, I'm finally
00:07:37gonna get that stinking ape. James, this could be huge. Just get down there and get me that story,
00:07:45no matter what.
00:08:13This looks like a good spot, don't you think? You know, I'm tired of driving. It's perfect.
00:08:22Okay, girls, let's get, let's unpack. Let's get the stuff out of the van. We're gonna camp here.
00:08:27Isn't there like a spell of life romance? Get the crap out of the van, now!
00:08:31You've got to be fun with them, otherwise they'll walk all over you.
00:08:35And there's mud.
00:08:36My face.
00:09:11What the heck is this? Seriously, you two don't know your ass from a hole in the ground.
00:09:15Let me see that hole.
00:09:17She's never said that before.
00:09:19What was that?
00:09:20She said the instructions are in German.
00:09:22It's actually pretty simple if you aren't a moron.
00:09:28So have you ever camped up here before?
00:09:30A couple times when I was younger. In fact, I think there's a swimming hole near here.
00:09:35Hope you brought your suit.
00:09:37How's everything going over here, girls? I think we got it under control.
00:09:41Good. Why don't you do go gather some wood before it gets dark, okay?
00:09:54Yeah, it's right over here.
00:10:00Yeah, this is the spot right here.
00:10:02Oh, good. Oh, sir. I am so very glad that you called me.
00:10:08You ever seen footprints this size before?
00:10:11Yeah, I'll tell you. I have seen bigger.
00:10:14But don't get me wrong. This is a very, very interesting specimen.
00:10:20I have seen so many pieces of my body.
00:10:21I was going to kill my body.
00:10:24I'm so sorry.
00:10:25Oh, yeah, I'll tell you.
00:10:34There we go.
00:10:35I have seen Philip, Philip, Philip.
00:10:37I have seen a lot of feet here.
00:10:40I have seen a lot of feet here.
00:10:44They are many feet here.
00:10:49They are great.
00:10:49Oh, I have seen a lot of feet here.
00:11:12So what do you think?
00:11:14This is a very interesting specimen, Sheriff.
00:11:18I would like to have some plaster casts made so I can study them.
00:11:23So, Professor, tell me.
00:11:26Do you think the campers are in any real danger?
00:11:28I mean, would you need to be concerned about these big footprints?
00:11:33Well, it's hard to say.
00:11:36They're not generally known to be very violent creatures.
00:11:39However, there's no telling what they'll do if provoked.
00:11:42Huh.
00:11:44Alrighty then.
00:11:55Yeah, yeah.
00:11:56Yeah.
00:11:57He's in jail.
00:11:59Yeah.
00:11:59That was beautiful.
00:12:00That's beautiful.
00:12:02We'll wait until tonight.
00:12:04Oh, no.
00:12:05That's a dance-off.
00:12:08Yeah.
00:12:09Hey, brother.
00:12:11Oh.
00:12:14Oh.
00:12:15Oh.
00:12:15Oh.
00:12:18Oh.
00:12:18Oh.
00:12:21Oh.
00:12:23Oh.
00:12:24Oh, yeah.
00:12:33See how cute he looks now.
00:12:37Oh.
00:12:38Oh.
00:12:48Oh.
00:13:05All right.
00:13:06What'll it be?
00:13:08Well, we're supposed to meet Sheriff Lopez here.
00:13:11Have you seen him?
00:13:13Yeah, he was in here earlier, but he had to go do an interview with some newswoman.
00:13:19Sure, he'll be back soon.
00:13:21Why don't you have a drink while you wait?
00:13:23Sure.
00:13:24You got any real beer?
00:13:27Yeah.
00:13:29You're going to pay the same price as regular beer.
00:13:31It's all right.
00:13:33It's all right.
00:13:34It's all right.
00:13:35All right.
00:13:35Here you go.
00:13:37All right.
00:14:01I caught you staring at my woman.
00:14:02Eddie, I caught this guy looking at my woman.
00:14:05Your woman.
00:14:07That's my girl.
00:14:08That's my girl.
00:14:13What'd you two stop?
00:14:14You both know she's mine, right?
00:14:17Hey! Knock it off or take it outside.
00:14:19The sheriff's gonna be here any minute.
00:14:22Sorry, bud.
00:14:24Why is the sheriff coming?
00:14:25I don't know.
00:14:27Supposed to talk to this kid.
00:14:31Who are you and what are you doing in our part of the woods?
00:14:35I'm a reporter with the Tattletoe.
00:14:38Why you gotta meet with Bubba?
00:14:40Well, he called with some sightings of Bigfoot.
00:14:44I came to get the scoop and offer a reward for whoever can capture the beast.
00:14:50What kind of reward are we talking about?
00:14:5325 grand.
00:14:55Cash.
00:14:57Did you say 25 grand?
00:14:59Yep.
00:15:0125 grand.
00:15:02Dead or alive.
00:15:09Another round, fellas?
00:15:11Sorry, bud.
00:15:12We gotta go.
00:15:18Boys.
00:15:28A cup of coffee, bud.
00:15:30All right, sir.
00:15:34You must be Harlan James.
00:15:37Yeah.
00:15:37How do you know?
00:15:38Well, cause you're the only one in here that I haven't met.
00:15:42Thanks, bud.
00:15:44Bubba Lopez.
00:15:46I'm the local sheriff here.
00:15:48Pleasure to meet you, sir.
00:15:51So, I'm hearing that you've been having some problems with Bigfoot.
00:15:55Well, he's quite a legend around these parts.
00:15:59Some people believe in him, most don't.
00:16:02Some claim to have had an encounter with him over the years, but, uh, you know, from what I've heard,
00:16:07he pretty much minds to himself.
00:16:09Although, I guess lately he's been causing some of the tourists a bit of harassment.
00:16:17I'd love to talk to some of the people who have seen him.
00:16:20That could be arranged.
00:16:21Great.
00:16:22Oh, and my editor wanted me to mention, we're offering an award of $25,000 for whoever could capture the
00:16:29monster.
00:16:33First of all, Mr. James, he's not a monster.
00:16:36Second of all, well, if the locals find out about that money, there's liable to be all kinds of people
00:16:43running around here with shotguns and someone's liable to get hurt.
00:16:48I suppose you've got a point.
00:16:51So, when can we get started?
00:16:53Well, tomorrow morning. Where are you standing?
00:16:57The Blackhawk Lodge.
00:16:59That's right.
00:16:59Right across the street.
00:17:00Alright, I'll pick you up at 9 o'clock.
00:17:03And it looks like the show's about to start.
00:17:07Alright, alright, settle down.
00:17:09The contest's about to start.
00:17:11Now, the rules are real simple.
00:17:13The contestant that gets the loudest applause is going to win one free night at the Blackhawk Lodge,
00:17:19and also one free entree at Ling's Chinese and Italian restaurant in Norfolk.
00:17:27So, let's hear it for contestant number one.
00:17:33Thank you so much.
00:17:37Well done.
00:17:45Thank you so much.
00:18:06All right, test number one is here for?
00:18:10Test number two, let's see what you can do.
00:18:36Test number two, test number three, let's see it.
00:19:04All right, let's hear it for contest number three.
00:19:11I don't know though y'all, it's unanimous, contest number one, you're the winner.
00:19:26Come on boy, what are you doing there?
00:19:32Sheriff, aren't you going to break it up?
00:19:35I would but I'm off duty.
00:19:55Oh, I can smell that money.
00:19:58What are you going to do with your cut sonny?
00:20:01First I'm going to get me a new hunting bow.
00:20:04Then I'm going to take the missus out to the nicest restaurant in town, order some egg rolls and spaghetti
00:20:10and have us a feast.
00:20:13What about you?
00:20:17There's this used truck I've had my eye on for quite some time.
00:20:22What about you Roger?
00:20:25I hadn't really decided what I'm going to do with my half of the reward.
00:20:30Your half?
00:20:32There's three of us.
00:20:33I'm taking half the reward.
00:20:35You two can split the other half any way you want.
00:20:39That's full.
00:20:40Why do you get half?
00:20:42My guns, my ammo, my reward.
00:20:47Yeah, that sounds fair.
00:20:51Let's pick this stuff up and go collect our money.
00:21:05I was a hand hooked killer.
00:21:09Lame.
00:21:10Does anyone else have a story?
00:21:13Well I do, but it's not really a ghost story.
00:21:16Well go ahead and tell it anyways.
00:21:18Well the book I'm reading has this chapter on Sasquatch.
00:21:23What the hell is a Sasquatch?
00:21:25Bigfoot?
00:21:26The book I'm reading has a chapter on Bigfoot.
00:21:30This half man, half ape creature.
00:21:33Science doesn't have any proof that he exists, but lots of people think he's real.
00:21:39Apparently he's eight foot tall and weighs 500 pounds.
00:21:43Marianne, you're just making that up.
00:21:45No, I'm not.
00:21:48There's been Bigfoot sightings all over the world.
00:21:51In fact, there's been sightings in these mountains.
00:21:55Here?
00:21:57Is this thing dangerous?
00:22:00Well, he has a very distinct smell and they say he's extremely dangerous.
00:22:07He can snap a man in half like a twig.
00:22:10I'm tired.
00:22:11I'm going to bed.
00:22:13Personally, I think that was just a bunch of crap.
00:22:16My story was way better.
00:22:18Well it's getting late.
00:22:20We should all turn in.
00:22:21Shhh.
00:22:23Shhh.
00:22:24Shhh.
00:22:24Shhh.
00:22:26So is all that true about Sasquatch?
00:22:29It's Sasquatch.
00:22:30And, I don't know.
00:22:32Some people believe in him.
00:22:34Some people don't.
00:22:35Nobody's captured him to prove that he exists, but I like to think he's out there.
00:22:40It gives me the creep thinking that he's out there.
00:22:43Well, don't worry.
00:22:44You'll know if he's around.
00:22:46Supposedly, he has a very distinct odor.
00:22:49I wonder what he smells like.
00:22:51Probably like the cafeteria after fish stick day.
00:22:55Ew.
00:22:57I swear this camping trip is the worst ever.
00:23:01I know.
00:23:01I can't wait till we get home.
00:23:03The sooner the better.
00:23:04I know.
00:23:05Can you believe Marianne and her ridiculous stories?
00:23:07You didn't believe her?
00:23:09No.
00:23:10Don't tell me you believe that load of crap.
00:23:12I don't know.
00:23:13It just kind of scared me to think some giant ape lives around here.
00:23:17Aww.
00:23:17Did Morgan get all scared?
00:23:19Did you want me to make you feel all better?
00:23:24Marianne.
00:23:25Are you awake?
00:23:26Did you hear that noise?
00:23:28Is it Sasquatch?
00:23:31I'm Sasquatch.
00:23:33It's probably just an owl.
00:23:36Go back to sleep.
00:23:38It's just an owl.
00:23:39It's just an owl.
00:23:40It's just an owl.
00:23:42It's just an owl.
00:23:44It's just an owl.
00:23:44It's just an owl.
00:23:46It's just an owl.
00:23:53It's just an owl.
00:23:58It's just an owl.
00:23:59Morning, Sheriff.
00:24:00Morning.
00:24:02Dang.
00:24:04Sweet ride.
00:24:06Yeah, I've had old Darlene there ever since I was a deputy.
00:24:11You ever think about trading her in for a newer model?
00:24:14Yeah, well, the county keeps offering to get me a new cruiser, and I keep turning them down.
00:24:19I ain't ready to give her up just yet.
00:24:23Remember, son, you always dance with the girl that brought you.
00:24:29Ready to go?
00:24:30Yes, sir.
00:24:31All righty then, come on.
00:24:37What's going on?
00:24:39That's the woman that interviewed me last night.
00:24:42Looks like she's with that scientist that I brought in.
00:24:47You mind if we stop?
00:24:49Sure, we can do that.
00:25:00Looking to do another interview, Sheriff.
00:25:02Nah, we just stopped by to kind of see what was going on here.
00:25:05Well, stick around.
00:25:06I love having an audience.
00:25:08Is this your new deputy?
00:25:10Oh, sorry.
00:25:10Simone Jennings.
00:25:11This is Harlan James.
00:25:13He works for the Tattletail.
00:25:14He's also doing a story on Bigfoot.
00:25:16The Tattletail?
00:25:18Looks like I got some competition.
00:25:20Hey, Simone.
00:25:21We're ready.
00:25:21Sorry, Gemma.
00:25:23I have an interview to conduct.
00:25:27We're live in five, four, three, two...
00:25:34Bigfoot.
00:25:35Fact or myth?
00:25:37His existence has been debated for years.
00:25:40Adding to this controversy are several campers who have reported encounters with this legendary creature.
00:25:47I'm here with world-famous cryptozoologist, Professor Trent Grover.
00:25:53Professor?
00:25:53Yes?
00:25:54You've been called in to investigate.
00:25:56Were you able to find any trace of this mythical creature?
00:25:59Well, see this footprint?
00:26:03Oh.
00:26:04This footprint was taken down by the river.
00:26:08This is of an adolescent male, at least seven feet tall, weight, 400 pounds.
00:26:17Professor?
00:26:18Yes?
00:26:19Why the strain of recent activity?
00:26:21Well, this time of year is their mating season.
00:26:25I wouldn't confront one as they're liable to be extremely volatile, especially when they're horny.
00:26:36Um, what else can you tell us about these creatures?
00:26:41Well, I can tell you a lot about these creatures.
00:26:45The general misconception is that they're very simple and primitive.
00:26:49However, I found them to be quite intelligent.
00:26:54In fact, I taught one to play catch in five minutes.
00:26:59Wait.
00:27:00Are you saying that you've actually had contact with these animals?
00:27:04Oh, yes.
00:27:06I even lived with a colony of Bigfoots for over a year when I was living up in Washington.
00:27:16I'm sorry.
00:27:17Did you say you lived with a colony of Bigfoots?
00:27:20Yes, exactly.
00:27:21Uh, it was an amazing experience.
00:27:25They welcomed me into their community and their society.
00:27:29And, uh, I was able to study their patterns and behaviors.
00:27:33What exactly did you learn about them?
00:27:37Uh, well, I learned, uh, they are extremely fond of garlic.
00:27:43And, uh, oh, they love hot dogs, too.
00:27:46Yes.
00:27:47Oh!
00:27:48And they are able to mimic humans.
00:27:51Mimic humans?
00:27:52Yes.
00:27:53In fact, I once caught one pretending to smoke a cigarette.
00:27:57It was so cute.
00:27:59It looked like a huge monkey smoking.
00:28:02Well, thank you, Professor, for your time.
00:28:04Oh, yes.
00:28:04And then there was another time we were close to a village.
00:28:07Uh, I saw one actually using a urinal.
00:28:11Of course, he was using the wrong end, but, uh, he had the proper idea.
00:28:15Well, thank you, Professor.
00:28:16And do you know, Simone, may I call you Simone?
00:28:19Uh, there was this time in their colony that I taught one to play Iron Man on a ukulele.
00:28:27Thank you, Professor.
00:28:28And then it seems that when we were in...
00:28:29This has been Simone Jennings reporting live from Skull Mountain, Channel 15 News.
00:28:35And we're clear.
00:28:39That went well.
00:28:41Are you kidding me?
00:28:42That guy's nuttier than a pound of squirrel poop.
00:28:44Well, at least you look good on camera.
00:28:50So, Mr. James, how's your story coming along?
00:28:53Call me Harlan, and I haven't really started yet.
00:28:58I hope I can get what my boss wants.
00:29:01He's looking for something concrete.
00:29:04He's even offering an award for the capture of Bigfoot.
00:29:07What kind of reward?
00:29:0925 grand.
00:29:11Cash.
00:29:12Wow.
00:29:13For that kind of money, I might have to go buy a gun and go hunting myself.
00:29:17I know.
00:29:18I had the same thought.
00:29:22So, since you work for the Tattletale, I take it you believe in Bigfoot?
00:29:29I don't know.
00:29:30I'd like to, but it's hard when all you have is hearsay and blurry photographs.
00:29:37I just hope something happens real soon.
00:29:40Harlan, you ready to get going?
00:29:41Oh, yeah.
00:29:43I better get going.
00:29:44It was nice to meet you.
00:29:46It was nice to meet you, too.
00:29:48Maybe I'll see you around.
00:29:55Well, this is the place.
00:30:11It's cold!
00:30:13Yeah.
00:30:21Ha!
00:30:25Ha!
00:30:25Ha!
00:30:27Ha!
00:30:27Ha!
00:30:43So cool!
00:30:49Are you gonna join us, Marianne?
00:30:50Oh gosh.
00:30:54You know what would be fun?
00:30:55Yeah!
00:30:55If we just took our tops off, it went skinny dipping.
00:30:59I don't think so.
00:31:01What if someone sees us?
00:31:03Then they could join us.
00:31:05Come on, don't be a baby.
00:31:08Mary Ann, there's no one else around.
00:31:10It's just us.
00:31:13Uh, no, I don't think so.
00:31:15I'm gonna head back.
00:31:18Be a baby.
00:31:27Ugh, smells like wet dog.
00:31:30Oh, are you lost, little guy?
00:31:34You're okay, little guy.
00:31:36You're okay?
00:31:43You're not a dog, are you?
00:31:58Hey guys, I think I see someone.
00:32:00Well, we should really give him a show.
00:32:07Um, guys?
00:32:10Big...
00:32:10What is that?
00:32:13Get me guess you saw Bigfoot too!
00:32:17Yes!
00:32:18You girls are taking this prank way too far!
00:32:20Enough already!
00:32:22But we did see him!
00:32:23Right there!
00:32:31It's right there!
00:32:57How was that?
00:32:58Boy, that sounded worse than the cat to get caught in the engine of my truck.
00:33:02Let me see that thing.
00:33:14There, that should do the trick.
00:33:21Boy, look what you've done!
00:33:23I just tuned that for you.
00:33:25Maybe you should just stick with the kazoo.
00:33:27I told you it's too hard.
00:33:30That's not something you see every day.
00:33:38Boy, what is wrong with you?
00:33:40A bunch of half-naked women go running by and you're staring at me.
00:33:43There is no way that you came from these loins.
00:33:49I wonder what they was running from.
00:33:52There is only one thing that can cause that kind of fear in a person.
00:33:56Bigfoot, get my gun. We're going hunting.
00:34:18Buford, we're going to eat soon. Get the salad ready.
00:34:22In a minute, dear. I'm just reading up on this latest diet craze.
00:34:27Put that trash down and start tossing the salad.
00:34:35What was that?
00:34:36What was what?
00:34:38That noise. I thought it heard some leaves rustling.
00:34:43It was probably just the wind. How about you fix the salad, set the table. Food's almost done.
00:34:51There's something out there.
00:34:53Damn it! You and your imagination. Remember last year at the beach? You thought you saw a werewolf?
00:35:00Hey! I was protecting that beach.
00:35:04Well, they should have been thanking me instead of threatening to sue me.
00:35:09I told you something's out there.
00:35:13Well, they should have been killing me.
00:35:14I'm not sure the other one is at the beach.
00:35:16What?
00:35:23Oh!
00:35:24Oh!
00:35:25Oh!
00:35:25Oh!
00:35:26Oh!
00:35:36It is so hot!
00:35:38I can't believe how hot!
00:35:41Oh, my God. Is he doing what I think he's doing?
00:35:49Gross. Come on, let's get out of here.
00:36:07Eddie, where the hell are we?
00:36:10Let's see.
00:36:16The sun rises in the west and sets in the east.
00:36:22The sun rises in the east and sets in the west.
00:36:27What? Are you sure?
00:36:31I know I've seen it set in the east before.
00:36:36Give me that map before you hurt yourself.
00:36:38I know these woods like I know the back of my hand.
00:36:42And I don't know where the hell we're at.
00:36:44Hey, look at that.
00:36:50Guys, check this out.
00:36:53What do we do?
00:36:54We follow the trail, idiot.
00:37:11Let's go, Skip. They're taking off without us.
00:37:14Do we have everything?
00:37:16I think so.
00:37:18Alright, let's go.
00:37:39Where are you going? The party went the other way.
00:37:43Relax. It's a shortcut.
00:37:44We'll beat them to the campsite.
00:37:46By the time they get there, we'll already be drunk,
00:37:49while they'll still be picking dirt out of their teeth.
00:38:04Oh, come on!
00:38:07Not now!
00:38:08Son of a bitch!
00:38:15Son of a bitch!
00:38:31Damn it!
00:38:33What's wrong, baby?
00:38:35Looks like I blew the tranny.
00:38:38Well, I'm sure someone will be along shortly.
00:38:42I don't know.
00:38:43This road seems pretty secluded.
00:38:47I thought you said this was a shortcut.
00:38:50Well, I assumed it was.
00:38:53Hell, Skip! What are we supposed to do now?
00:39:00We hoof it.
00:39:23Oh, my God!
00:39:26When I say run, you run.
00:39:32You're so screwed!
00:39:33Well, that's reassuring!
00:39:38Boy, get your ass up.
00:39:41What the hell?
00:39:46You folks having some trouble?
00:39:48Uh, yeah.
00:39:49My truck died and we need a ride back to the RV park.
00:39:52Can you guys give us a lift?
00:39:53I'm sorry.
00:39:54We've been hiking these woods for hours.
00:39:56Name's Chester.
00:39:57This is my son, Billy Bobob.
00:40:00I'm Skip.
00:40:00And this is Patty.
00:40:02Pleased to make your acquaintance.
00:40:03Boy, move your ass.
00:40:07Folks, you'll have to wait till morning to get out of here.
00:40:11I mean, it's gonna be dark soon.
00:40:13It's okay.
00:40:14We've got flashlights.
00:40:17Darling, you're gonna need more than flashlights to stop what's out there.
00:40:21What are you talking about?
00:40:24I'm talking about Bigfoot.
00:40:27That's just a myth.
00:40:28Like the Loch Ness Monster.
00:40:31Oh, Bigfoot's real.
00:40:32Seen him myself on occasion.
00:40:34In fact, just got through terrorizing some women down by the river.
00:40:37Me and the boy have been out tracking him.
00:40:40We can help you get out in the morning, but you best stay with us tonight.
00:40:45I don't know.
00:40:49We got food.
00:40:50We're willing to share.
00:40:52Come on, Skip.
00:40:54They've got guns.
00:40:56And food.
00:40:57We'll be safe.
00:41:01Okay, we'll stay.
00:41:03But it's not because I believe in Bigfoot or anything.
00:41:07It's just...
00:41:09I don't want Patty to trip and spin her ankle in the dark.
00:41:13What a gentleman.
00:41:17Come on.
00:41:17I've also got some supplies in the truck.
00:41:26I'm gonna go get some firewood, Daddy.
00:41:27Hey, maybe we should go get some firewood, Daddy.
00:41:28Good idea, boy.
00:41:29Get busy.
00:41:30Boy's gonna get some firewood.
00:41:36I was right here raking leaves.
00:41:38About six months ago?
00:41:40Yes, about two weeks ago.
00:41:42Something knocked over my trash cans.
00:41:44I saw this thing come out from behind the rock.
00:41:48So...
00:41:48What was it?
00:41:50Yeah, I know it's a little blurry, but...
00:41:52That's Bigfoot.
00:41:53Bigfoot?
00:41:53Poe.
00:41:54It was Bigfoot.
00:41:57I looked up and I saw him right up there on that hill.
00:42:00What happened, if I may ask?
00:42:03Went in the house.
00:42:05He gave me my shotgun and came out and he was gone.
00:42:07Out of nowhere, I saw this thing standing right in the middle of the road.
00:42:11Pretty sure he stole my car, too.
00:42:13No one comes on my property without my permission.
00:42:16You hear me?
00:42:17Are you sure it wasn't a bear?
00:42:20Are you sure it wasn't raccoons?
00:42:22I think he got a photo of it.
00:42:24Good thing for him I haven't seen him since.
00:42:26Yeah?
00:42:28It wasn't Bigfoot.
00:42:29Let me tell you something, son.
00:42:30Mr. James, I know what I saw.
00:42:33Bigfoot or no Bigfoot.
00:42:34No it is.
00:42:36Hmm.
00:42:41You getting all that?
00:42:43That's right.
00:42:46Are you guys done?
00:42:48Nah, I just stopped by to use the restroom.
00:42:50Any messages?
00:42:51Yes.
00:42:51The mayor called.
00:42:52He wants you to call him back.
00:42:54Alright.
00:42:54Your wife also called.
00:42:56Again?
00:42:57Alrighty.
00:42:58I'll take care of this later on, okay?
00:43:00Okay.
00:43:01Harlan, I'll be right back, alright?
00:43:03Can I get you a glass of water?
00:43:06Oh, no.
00:43:07Thank you, though.
00:43:24Hey, it's Harlan.
00:43:25I know you wouldn't be calling unless you had good news.
00:43:29Did you get my story?
00:43:31No, not yet.
00:43:33Then why are you calling?
00:43:35Well, I've talked to a few people and I don't really think that there's a story here.
00:43:42James, let me explain something to you.
00:43:45You're a tabloid journalist.
00:43:47You get the story no matter what.
00:43:49I know, but it's hard because-
00:43:52I don't want excuses.
00:43:54I want results.
00:43:56If you have to shave a hundred monkeys and then glue their hair to some homeless guy to get your
00:44:01picture, then that's what you do.
00:44:03Got it?
00:44:04Understood.
00:44:07Good.
00:44:08Now the next time we talk, you'll have my story.
00:44:12Right?
00:44:13Yes, sir.
00:44:17Well, that coffee kind of runs right through me, you know?
00:44:20Alright, Rachel.
00:44:21Okay, Sheriff.
00:44:22Be safe.
00:44:23Alright, I will.
00:44:24Shall we?
00:44:31Thank you for the food, Chester.
00:44:32Oh, you're quite welcome, darling.
00:44:35Do you mind if I ask you something?
00:44:37Shoot.
00:44:39You said you've seen Bigfoot.
00:44:41What's it like?
00:44:44Well, he's all hairy.
00:44:46Bigger than a bower.
00:44:49Ugly as sin.
00:44:50I've been hunting him for years and ain't never caught him.
00:44:54Shouldn't you be running away from something like that instead of chasing it?
00:44:59Most folks would.
00:45:00I got a score to settle with that son of a bitch.
00:45:04See, my brother Riff, he disappeared one day.
00:45:08Showed up about a week later, all beaten and bowlegged.
00:45:14Well, what happened?
00:45:17Well, he was out hunting for some dinner.
00:45:20And he got knocked unconscious.
00:45:24And he woke up in a cave lying next to a female Bigfoot.
00:45:29Well, she had her way with him and he just couldn't talk about it.
00:45:35That's horrible.
00:45:37Well, that's not the half of it.
00:45:40He wound up in the Himalayas, you know, trying to clear his head and get away from all this.
00:45:48Well, he was out taking a leak in the snow one day and got punched in the head and knocked
00:45:53unconscious.
00:45:53He woke up in a Yeti cave.
00:45:56You've got to be kidding me.
00:45:58I wish I was, friend.
00:46:00He found out he had been violated.
00:46:03Again.
00:46:06Poor old Riff.
00:46:07He ain't never been the same since.
00:46:14Oh, you folks want some more beans?
00:46:18No.
00:46:20We're good.
00:46:24I think we're gonna turn in.
00:46:27Come on, Patty.
00:46:36What are you doing?
00:46:37Those hillbillies are right outside.
00:46:39Oh, they won't mind.
00:46:41Besides, Daddy needs his sugar.
00:46:46Not now, Skip.
00:46:48Come on.
00:46:50We might as well make the best of a bad situation.
00:47:07Oh.
00:47:09Oh.
00:47:10Oh.
00:47:13Yeah.
00:47:23What do you want, boy?
00:47:28It's Bigfoot.
00:47:30Give me my gun.
00:47:40You did it, Daddy.
00:47:42Come on.
00:47:43Let's finish this.
00:47:44I want to see its face when I pull the trigger.
00:47:47What the?
00:47:49What's going on?
00:47:50I'm glad I heard a gunshot.
00:47:52I did it.
00:47:52I finally shot that bastard.
00:48:03Bigfoot looked a lot like Skip.
00:48:05That is Skip, you idiot.
00:48:07Help him up.
00:48:12You shot me in the ass.
00:48:14Take it easy, fella.
00:48:15What are you doing out here in this crazy outfit?
00:48:18It was cold.
00:48:19And I had to use the bathroom.
00:48:20We thought you were Bigfoot.
00:48:23Well, I'm not.
00:48:25God.
00:48:27What am I supposed to do with this chunk taken out of my ass?
00:48:31Well, I think there's a first aid kit in the truck.
00:48:35Well, thank you, darling.
00:48:36You can go on back to sleep now.
00:48:38Are you sure you don't need my help?
00:48:41Nah.
00:48:41It's nothing serious.
00:48:42I believe we can handle it from here on.
00:48:45All right.
00:48:49Get me out of here.
00:48:51How bad is it?
00:48:53I feel like I lost a lot of blood.
00:48:55You're going to be fine.
00:48:57The bullet just barely grazed you.
00:48:58Barely grazed me?
00:48:59Tell it to my ass.
00:49:05Barely nicked you.
00:49:06Nothing but a scratch.
00:49:08What did you think about a scratch?
00:49:09Trust me.
00:49:10I've seen a lot worse.
00:49:12I haven't.
00:49:15What'd you make of your mind?
00:49:17Shut up, Billy.
00:49:18Sorry, Daddy.
00:49:26Hey, baby.
00:49:28Do those hillbillies fix you up outside?
00:49:32I know it hurts.
00:49:34Cuddly next to Mama.
00:49:38Baby, you really need to take a shower.
00:49:43Are you going to stay wrapped up in that rug all night?
00:49:47Looks like someone's feeling a little better.
00:49:50Baby, that tickles.
00:49:57Ow, that hurts.
00:49:58Stop complaining.
00:49:59I complain too.
00:50:00Are you sure you don't have any whiskey I can take for the pain?
00:50:03For the last time, no.
00:50:04Now hold still.
00:50:06Come on, Jesus.
00:50:07Ugh.
00:50:16Baby, if you're going to go to the bathroom, at least take that rug off.
00:50:21So you don't get shot again.
00:50:25I'd be squirming around too.
00:50:28Ugh.
00:50:30Ugh.
00:50:33There you are. Good as new.
00:50:34Ugh.
00:50:36Yeah.
00:50:38Good as new, yeah.
00:50:39Except for the huge chunk taken on my ass.
00:50:42You're fine. It's just a scratch.
00:50:43You'll be up and humping in no time.
00:50:47What?
00:50:52Thanks, Chester.
00:50:53I owe you one.
00:50:54I bet your ass.
00:50:56I-I help.
00:51:15Daddy's home.
00:51:17What do you say we?
00:51:19Start the fire one more time.
00:51:21Again?
00:51:23Baby, I could use a little tension right now.
00:51:26Yeah, I know.
00:51:27But I'm completely worn out.
00:51:30When did you get so...
00:51:32big?
00:51:34What are you talking about?
00:51:37I've always been big.
00:51:40All I can say is...
00:51:41wow.
00:51:43Well, thank you.
00:51:59Sheriff?
00:52:01What's your honest take on all this Bigfoot stuff?
00:52:04Am I just wasting my time up here?
00:52:06Hmm.
00:52:09Well, whether he's real or not, one thing's for certain.
00:52:13This is Bigfoot country.
00:52:16I've lived here all my life, and I've never had an encounter or sighting or anything like that.
00:52:21But I've got friends and relatives who'll swear to what they've seen.
00:52:25It's all a matter of what you want to believe.
00:52:28I mean, I've talked to over a dozen people, and I've heard some of the weirdest Bigfoot stories.
00:52:36But there's one common denominator.
00:52:39Nobody's ever gotten hurt.
00:52:42So what are you saying?
00:52:44Why do people make him out to be such a monster?
00:52:48Well, Mr. James, it wouldn't be any good if there were no evil.
00:52:55So, anybody claim the bounty yet?
00:52:58No, not yet.
00:53:00I'm sure somebody will catch him.
00:53:02No one has yet.
00:53:04Hey, bud. You almost bagged him once, didn't you?
00:53:07What?
00:53:08Wait. You saw Bigfoot?
00:53:11Sure did. I was down there by the river, hunting deer.
00:53:17Well, I had my shotgun locked on him.
00:53:20He saw me.
00:53:22Turned around, walked away.
00:53:26Why didn't you pull the trigger?
00:53:28Because he didn't give me a reason to.
00:53:30I mean, he's out there in his natural habitat.
00:53:33Probably trying to find some food.
00:53:35I figure he's out there trying to survive like the rest of us.
00:53:42Can I get a vodka and cranberry, please?
00:53:46Sheriff, Mr. James, burning the midnight oil.
00:53:49Something like that.
00:53:52Well, it's getting late. I should probably get going.
00:53:55I'll give you a holler if I hear anything.
00:53:58Do you guys serve food here?
00:54:01No, just alcohol.
00:54:03And there's an all-night diner down the road.
00:54:06You wanna go check it out? I'm really starving.
00:54:10No, I think I'm good.
00:54:13Well, I think I'll go check that place out.
00:54:16I'll see you later.
00:54:20Yeah.
00:54:22All I'm saying is that television's a dying medium.
00:54:27Everything's online now.
00:54:29So wouldn't that make your tablet obsolete, too?
00:54:33No.
00:54:35There'll always be tablets.
00:54:37People always need more junk to buy at the counter.
00:54:42No matter what's going on in the world,
00:54:45everybody wants to read about Elvis and aliens.
00:54:51Even the world's fattest cat.
00:54:53I must have missed that issue.
00:54:55Are you kidding me?
00:54:56That's every issue.
00:54:59We're always trying to convince people into believe in things that...
00:55:03don't really exist.
00:55:05I know what you mean.
00:55:06The news is always preying on people's fears.
00:55:10We're only supposed to report the facts, but...
00:55:13there's no such thing as impartiality.
00:55:16There's always an agenda.
00:55:17Last call.
00:55:22I guess we should go.
00:55:23Where are you staying?
00:55:27Across the street at the...
00:55:29Blackhawk Lodge.
00:55:55Blackhawk Lodge.
00:55:56Well...
00:55:57This is my stop.
00:56:03I guess I'll see you later.
00:56:29It's later.
00:56:45It's later.
00:56:46Hello?
00:56:48Morning, sunshine!
00:56:50Barry?
00:56:51How's my story coming?
00:56:54Slowly but surely.
00:56:57I got a couple leads that, uh...
00:56:59Get any pictures yet?
00:57:01Well...
00:57:02No, but I, um...
00:57:04What good is the story without the proof?
00:57:07I know, I just...
00:57:09It's...
00:57:10Listen to me, James.
00:57:12I really need you to get to the bottom of this story.
00:57:16If you can't do that, then I'll find someone who can and you can go back to making copies and
00:57:22fetching my coffee for me!
00:57:25Is that what you want?
00:57:28No, sir.
00:57:29Now get your sorry ass out of bed and go get my story!
00:57:33Right!
00:57:38Who's that?
00:57:39My boss.
00:57:42I gotta get to work.
00:57:47I think you'd better get down there to make sure we get our story.
00:58:00Now I know why I don't usually drink this much.
00:58:04I could really go for something to eat. You want to get breakfast?
00:58:08Sure.
00:58:15Hello?
00:58:16Hey, it's Bubba. Listen, I just got a report of another encounter.
00:58:20Seems like one of the local women got up close and personal a few weeks ago with Bigfoot.
00:58:26Well...
00:58:26Can I talk to her?
00:58:28Well, you can try. Her name's, uh...
00:58:31Julie Lewis.
00:58:32She runs a local children's store down. It's called, uh, Just For Kids.
00:58:37You might want to hear what she has to say. That is, if she'll talk to you.
00:58:42Where's the store located?
00:58:46Alright. Thanks, Sheriff.
00:58:50What's wrong?
00:58:52Looks like we just got our first lead.
00:59:02Damn it, boy. What the hell's wrong with you? You could have blown my brains out.
00:59:07Sorry, Daddy.
00:59:08Quiet, boy.
00:59:09We're in Bigfoot country.
00:59:11You smell that?
00:59:13That's the smell of the beast.
00:59:16Are you sure that's Bigfoot?
00:59:17Yep.
00:59:17I've smelt that stink before.
00:59:20He's so close, I can taste him.
00:59:23Uh, Daddy?
00:59:24Quiet, boy.
00:59:26But, uh...
00:59:26You're gonna get us killed, boy.
00:59:29What?
00:59:33Oh, son of a bitch.
00:59:35Why didn't you say something?
00:59:42I swear, there's no way you could have come from these lines.
00:59:47Come on, boy. Let's get out of here.
01:00:03Hi. I'll be right with you.
01:00:05Thank you so much.
01:00:06Oh, thank you.
01:00:13Is there anything I could help you folks with today?
01:00:15Yes. Sheriff Lopez sent us over here.
01:00:18He said you had an encounter with Bigfoot.
01:00:21Oh.
01:00:23You must be the reporter and the guy from the tabloid.
01:00:26He told me you might be stopping in.
01:00:29Miss Lewis, would you mind telling us what happened?
01:00:32I don't think so.
01:00:34Any information you provide would be helpful.
01:00:38No, I don't think so.
01:00:40I didn't even want to tell the sheriff.
01:00:42Please, Miss Lewis.
01:00:44It's important.
01:00:47Well, okay.
01:00:49I've lived up here my whole life and never once did I believe in Bigfoot.
01:00:54But now, I know he's real.
01:00:58It happened several weeks ago.
01:01:01There's a spot by the river where I go to sunbathe.
01:01:04No one ever goes there.
01:01:17This spot is so peaceful and private.
01:01:19I'm able to relax and not be bothered by anyone ever.
01:01:27Since the spot's so secluded, I'm able to do whatever I want.
01:01:31Next thing I know, the sky went dark.
01:01:34I thought maybe someone had discovered my secret place.
01:01:38I couldn't quite make out what was standing in front of me.
01:01:44I wanted to scream, but I couldn't.
01:01:47It was Bigfoot all right.
01:01:48A large, hairy, ape-like creature.
01:01:51But then, I suddenly felt a calm about the creature.
01:01:54Like he didn't want to hurt me.
01:01:56Then he was gone.
01:01:58Just like that.
01:02:02So, all he wanted were your panties.
01:02:08This happened several weeks ago.
01:02:10How come you waited so long to say something?
01:02:13Well, I didn't want everyone to think I was crazy.
01:02:17But when I found out about the bounty, I figured I should tell the authorities.
01:02:21I'm afraid someone will kill it.
01:02:24Would that be such a bad thing?
01:02:26It might be the only one of its kind.
01:02:28Miss?
01:02:29I'll be right with you.
01:02:31Can I take this?
01:02:33Oh, no. Go ahead.
01:02:35Thank you for your time, Miss Lewis.
01:02:39So, what do you think?
01:02:44I'm thinking we should go looking for this thing ourselves.
01:02:51Say, you folks from around here?
01:02:54Not really.
01:02:55Well, you folks better be careful.
01:02:56There's been a lot of Bigfoot sightings around here.
01:03:01Weren't you on television?
01:03:04Yes, I was.
01:03:05Wow, you're pretty.
01:03:07You're a person.
01:03:09Say, if you're not doing anything, maybe a little later we could...
01:03:14She's busy.
01:03:17So, where are you heading?
01:03:20I don't know. Got any suggestions?
01:03:23The swimming hole's real nice. It's down the ways.
01:03:25Want me to draw your map?
01:03:26Yeah.
01:03:31There you go.
01:03:32Oh, that'll be $14.99.
01:03:35Dude.
01:03:36That's totally him.
01:03:38No way.
01:03:40He's more...taller.
01:03:43More...hairier.
01:03:44Excuse me?
01:03:47What are you guys talking about?
01:03:49Bigfoot, dude.
01:03:52What about him?
01:03:53Bigfoot?
01:03:54He looks nothing like the postcard.
01:03:56Yeah, he does, man.
01:03:58No way.
01:04:00How do you two know what Bigfoot looks like?
01:04:05Because...
01:04:06We were out partying with him last night, man.
01:04:12We were out in the woods, getting nicely toasted, when we heard a noise.
01:04:21Then, out of the blue, there he is, standing right in front of us.
01:04:26Whoa.
01:04:27So we asked if he wanted to join us.
01:04:54All I can say is...
01:04:56That dude knew how to party.
01:04:59That dude knew how to party.
01:05:01That dude knew how to party.
01:05:11And...
01:05:13If you're there, we're out.
01:05:14What's up, man?
01:05:15What about you, we're out.
01:05:16All right, come here.
01:05:22Like, what?
01:05:26You guys can also come to town.
01:05:27It's my friend who was going to park my park and a park or the park.
01:05:31you mean to tell me you got high with Bigfoot no dude he got wasted with big
01:05:39foot do you know where he is passed out we woke up he was gone like yeah where
01:05:49were you guys last night swimming all the swimming hole I guess we know where
01:05:59to look hey man if you see him can't you only give me back my ball it took your
01:06:10ball oh don't worry about it buy a new one
01:06:26here he is I see him get down boy somebody's shooting at us
01:06:32Eddie I'm scared hold your fire down there you're gonna kill somebody
01:06:41Eddie what the hell are you doing
01:06:44sorry we thought you was Bigfoot we who else is down there with you
01:06:52me Sonny and Roger
01:06:56hold your fire I'm coming down let's go boy don't do anything to embarrass me
01:07:13Chester Scroggins you old goat what are you doing out here in that outfit
01:07:22hunting Bigfoot after the reward money too huh reward what reward 25 grand cash you mean
01:07:32somebody's willing to pay money for that bastard I'll shoot him for free you
01:07:37mean to tell me you don't know anything about that reward I don't know nothing
01:07:40about no money I'm just hunting for the hell of it I got a score to settle with
01:07:45that bastard well since you're out here too why don't you join us oh no I'm not
01:07:52splitting my reward five different ways with that son of a bitch well I might just
01:07:57let you shake my hand when I haul his corpse in
01:08:04boy what did I say about embarrassing me Chester what in the world are you feeding that kid
01:08:11come on let's get out of here before we all pass out and good luck you'll need it oh by
01:08:18the way you
01:08:19need to get out of them gilly suits before somebody takes a shot at you and takes a
01:08:23chunk out of your ass there is no way that you came from my loins let's go boy and
01:08:38take that suit off you look ridiculous I loved the swim afterwards that was just what is that thing I
01:08:59have no idea it kind of looks like a bear
01:09:07there's one stressed out bear
01:09:14what are you doing we gotta tell someone about this
01:09:21yes Rachel yeah go ahead and transfer the call Sheriff Lopez speaking ma'am could you repeat that
01:09:35really and you're absolutely positive where did you say this happen at and
01:09:43you're certain about what you saw huh and what was your name again ma'am alrighty much obliged thanks for
01:09:53notifying us
01:10:05hey that's Bubba you ain't gonna believe this one
01:10:27I think this is the spot where the fishermen and schoolgirls song the walters were too far from here
01:10:35maybe we should go to where those girls were camping
01:10:46see any signs of footprints
01:10:52no nothing
01:10:58hold it
01:10:59right there
01:11:01whoa take it easy mister
01:11:03what
01:11:05don't move
01:11:07please just let us go and we'll be out of your hair
01:11:11behind you
01:11:14what the
01:11:15oh my god
01:11:17is that what I think it is
01:11:19yep
01:11:21that's bigfoot
01:11:28it's okay you folks are safe now
01:11:34what are you planning on doing
01:11:36I'm gonna shoot him right between the eyes
01:11:39then maybe make a vest out of his skin
01:11:43soup out of his bones
01:11:45look
01:11:46if it's about the money there is no money
01:11:49I should know
01:11:50I'm the reporter from the newspaper
01:11:54tabloid
01:11:55whatever
01:11:55bottom line
01:11:57there was never any money
01:11:59we just said there was so we'd get people to talk
01:12:01I don't care about no money
01:12:03this is personal
01:12:05my brother was raped by one of these things
01:12:08twice
01:12:10um
01:12:10could you repeat that last part again
01:12:15say goodnack you crazy
01:12:17look
01:12:18chupacagra
01:12:19what
01:12:19where
01:12:22damn it
01:12:22what the hell did you do that for
01:12:24I couldn't let you shoot him
01:12:27come on boys
01:12:28get in the way
01:12:30oh
01:12:32oh
01:12:32I just
01:12:33really got bruised my hand bone daddy
01:12:35oh the love of god
01:12:36there's no way you sprang from these loins
01:12:38now get your ass up
01:12:39he's getting away
01:12:49you had your story right in front of you
01:12:51why'd you do it
01:12:55because sometimes
01:12:58sometimes the myth is more important than the truth
01:13:04hey guys
01:13:06check this out
01:13:09looks like a cave
01:13:11well what are you waiting for
01:13:12get in there
01:13:14I ain't going in
01:13:16where do you go
01:13:18there's no way I'm going in first
01:13:21fine
01:13:21I'll go in first
01:13:23but I get a bigger cut of the reward
01:13:38what kind of sick freak is this here?
01:13:42I don't know
01:13:43is your cousin real back in town?
01:13:46no
01:13:47nothing I know
01:13:48get bigfoot
01:13:50you really should take care of this pervert
01:13:53oh my god
01:13:54what's that?
01:13:56what the hell?
01:14:03I still can't believe what just happened
01:14:06I know
01:14:08what are you going to do?
01:14:15I guess I'm going to tell my boss I didn't get the story
01:14:20whatever happens happens
01:14:22I'll probably go back to being the copy boy
01:14:25I'm sure everything will be okay
01:14:29there you are
01:14:31I've been looking all over for you
01:14:33what's going on?
01:14:34they got him
01:14:34got who?
01:14:36bigfoot
01:14:36they finally got him
01:14:38no
01:14:48what the hell happened to you guys?
01:14:50nothing
01:14:51give us some whiskey
01:14:52you guys don't drink whiskey?
01:14:55we do today
01:14:58alright
01:15:29come on
01:15:31let's get out of here right now
01:15:32let's go
01:15:32come on
01:15:32come on let's get out of here right now
01:15:36come on
01:15:38watch your step
01:15:39me too
01:15:52what's going on?
01:15:53looks like they've caught bigfoot
01:15:54well it's about time
01:15:57folks we just had a break in the bigfoot case
01:16:00Here's the thing that's been causing us trouble this whole weekend.
01:16:04Nothing more than a man dressed up like an ape.
01:16:07Sheriff, you gotta believe me.
01:16:08This wasn't my idea. My boss sent me.
01:16:11I didn't do anything.
01:16:13We caught him in the woods.
01:16:15He had a bunch of makeup and costumes in the car.
01:16:18Claims he works for the Tattletail.
01:16:21Harlan? Harlan, is that you?
01:16:23It's me, Kenny, the copy boy.
01:16:25Tell the sheriff you know me.
01:16:27Tell him Barry sent me. This was all Barry's idea.
01:16:29Harlan, you know this man.
01:16:31Sheriff, I've never seen that guy before.
01:16:33I thought not.
01:16:36This was just all a big joke.
01:16:38Yeah, well, those campers didn't think it was such a joke.
01:16:41Think your little hoax wasted our whole weekend here.
01:16:44But I just got here, honest.
01:16:46I didn't do anything. Harlan, help me out.
01:16:49All right, quiet at you. Now I got a cell in there with your name on it.
01:16:52No, I didn't do anything. No.
01:16:55My boss sent me. It was all his idea.
01:16:57Come on, Harlan.
01:16:58All right, that's enough. Folks, nothing more to see here.
01:17:01Just a man and a monkey slew.
01:17:03Come on, now.
01:17:04Your boss sent him?
01:17:07It appears so.
01:17:10So what are we going to do?
01:17:15Keep quiet. Go about our lives.
01:17:20So, I guess that's it then.
01:17:24Well, it doesn't have to be.
01:17:28I've got my room for one more night.
01:17:30Feel like playing the sunbather and panty thief?
01:17:34Sounds like a plan.
01:17:45Get up, boy.
01:17:47Daddy, I'm tired.
01:17:48My foot hurts, my butt hurts, and there's a rock in my shoe.
01:17:56Hell, I'm tired, too.
01:18:01Yeah, we tried.
01:18:03We failed.
01:18:05Maybe we should just stick to hunting UFOs.
01:18:11Let me help you with that stone.
01:18:35Let's go, whole boy.
01:18:36Let's go, whole boy.
01:18:42Are you sure you guys don't want to talk about it?
01:18:45Bud, you wouldn't believe us if we told you.
01:18:48I'm a bartender.
01:18:49I've heard every story imaginable.
01:18:52Come on, lay it on me.
01:19:00Well, we was out looking for Bigfoot,
01:19:02and we found this cave.
01:19:04We went in, we found all these pairs of woman's underwear
01:19:07and empty beer bottles.
01:19:09While we were looking around,
01:19:11we discovered we weren't alone.
01:19:13Next thing we know, the cave went dark,
01:19:15and we couldn't see a thing.
01:19:17Hell, we woke up in the middle of the forest
01:19:19with our pants around our ankles
01:19:21and a shotgun shot.
01:19:23No, I'm going to have to stop you boys right there.
01:19:27Maybe there are some stories that shouldn't be told.
01:19:34There you go.
01:19:36Consider it on the house.
01:19:40All I'm saying is,
01:19:43maybe we're the aliens, man.
01:19:45Like, what if there's creatures
01:19:49out there
01:19:52afraid of us?
01:19:55He just totally blew my mind.
01:20:03You're crazy, man.
01:20:06Yeah.
01:20:08Wait.
01:20:10What did he say?
01:20:12He said,
01:20:14he said,
01:20:19dude, I have to know what he really said.
01:20:21Yeah.
01:20:25Yeah.
01:20:28Yeah.
01:20:33Yeah.
01:20:35Yeah.
01:20:45I don't know.
01:21:06I don't know.
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