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Something Very Bad Is Going To Happen S01E01 [Full Movie] [Must See]Full EP - Full
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00:28Transcription by CastingWords
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02:27What the fuck?
02:28I don't know.
02:29Oh.
02:29Do you want me to drive?
02:30Sorry, yeah.
02:31No, no, it's fine.
02:32Yeah, yeah, yeah.
02:32Oh, my God.
02:34Sorry.
02:34Just, will you talk to me so I don't fall asleep again?
02:36Yeah, okay.
02:37Okay.
02:38Um.
02:39Oh.
02:40The original Coldies is coming up at the next town.
02:43Yeah?
02:43Yeah.
02:44Coldies?
02:45What, they didn't have Coldies in Oregon?
02:49Well, you've heard of Coldies though, right?
02:51The frozen custard shop?
02:52No.
02:52Bro, are you kidding?
02:55What about Larry Poole, the founder of Coldies?
02:58How would I know of the founder of an ice cream shop that I've never heard of?
03:01I mean, he also murdered three women, and it's custard, not ice cream.
03:07Oh, my God.
03:07How?
03:08They make it different from ice cream.
03:10No.
03:10It uses more eggs or something.
03:12It was strangulation, I think, mostly.
03:14There's this podcast about Larry Poole, and it talks about this woman who tried to kill
03:19him in the early 90s, and she was like eight months pregnant, and she just talks about
03:23all the fucking shit she had to do to survive.
03:26I mean, what kind of fucking shit?
03:27Four minutes.
03:29Four minutes.
03:29I was in his truck, and he was taking me down this remote highway, and that's when I noticed
03:35this tiny little shoe at my feet.
03:37A Barbie shoe.
03:38That could have meant he had a daughter, so I told him I was having a little girl.
03:43I was pregnant.
03:44I kept reminding him I'm pregnant.
03:46Then I saw a rest stop sign.
03:48I asked if he could stop, and he just reached over and he slit my throat.
03:55It felt hot, the blood coming out of me.
04:01And what I didn't expect is that when you lose a lot of blood, you can feel actually euphoric.
04:10It was the same way I felt on my wedding day.
04:13More than near death, it was almost like love.
04:20And then Larry threw me out on the side of the road.
04:24I just kept thinking, if you close your eyes, you'll die here.
04:30So I got up.
04:32I walked along the road, holding my throat together, and I started to feel less euphoric
04:37and more melted, like I was disappearing.
04:41But at the same time, like, I was running a marathon.
04:45And I was winning.
04:47I was winning.
04:50I made it to the rest stop.
04:51A young couple was there, their eyes.
04:54God, they were horrified by the sight of me.
04:58But they were so kind.
05:01And thank God for them.
05:02Thank God for them.
05:03Those people saved my life.
05:06I'm gonna grab a lighter from the gas station or anything.
05:10Maybe, uh, cinnamon gum?
05:12It's not that gross.
05:13It's pretty gross.
05:14Oh, will you, uh, save us a...
05:15Window booth, yeah.
05:23That's everything's fine.
05:28No doubt about it.
05:31I really think you're fine.
05:34Oh, baby.
05:36I'll shout out about it.
05:38Tell me what you're mine.
05:41Oh, baby.
05:43It's out of higher desire.
05:45And what?
05:46It's not just that.
05:47I heard that you can also actually feel their bones and organs shifting to make room for the
05:50baby to come out.
05:52No.
05:52You know some women have giant babies.
05:54Have you heard of that?
05:55Like, 12-pound babies.
05:57Huge heads just tearing everything.
05:59We wouldn't have a huge baby.
06:01How do you know?
06:02Oh, I just think that, like, our future baby would be...
06:09...dainty.
06:09You can't guarantee that.
06:12I don't want to be torn open.
06:14It'll be small, I promise.
06:15Like this.
06:16Smaller.
06:16Smaller?
06:17Okay.
06:18Smaller.
06:19Smaller, man.
06:20Smaller.
06:21Smaller.
06:22I can't...
06:23Okay.
06:24That's good.
06:26Wait.
06:27That's so close.
06:29Holy shit.
06:30Really?
06:30Yeah, wait.
06:31I gotta show you.
06:31People are embarrassed with bad things happening to them.
06:34Why does it keep getting up?
06:35I don't know.
06:36The guy loves dogs.
06:38He loves dogs, and why do they keep going missing?
06:40What do you want me to say?
06:42Dogs go missing.
06:43No, dogs don't go missing.
06:45Cats go missing.
06:46That's not how it works.
06:48Are you sure you've never seen the logo before?
06:50I mean, it's identical.
06:52It is weird.
06:54You even got the pose right and everything.
06:56Yeah.
06:58It's crazy.
06:59I don't know.
06:59Six cents or something.
07:01Did I ever tell you about my dad's girlfriend, the one that had the daughter of Kathy?
07:05No, keep going.
07:06So this four-year-old girl Kathy, she could remember her past life, and she always talked
07:10about her late husband, and how he drowned trying to rescue their son from the rapids.
07:17Sounds like Kathy had a great imagination.
07:19No, I think that children can inexplicably exist in a third dimension, or at least remember
07:26their past lives, and I don't know, maybe even the future, and I think that's weird.
07:30I don't like it.
07:32Or, Kathy had a great imagination.
07:36You didn't know Kathy.
07:37She was haunted.
07:39I don't want haunted children.
07:42Yeah, well, we won't haunt them.
07:44Make them out haunted.
07:46You're not haunted.
07:47You can't know that for sure.
07:49I hope our kid comes out like you.
07:51That's very sweet.
07:56At least my mom would have to skip that part.
07:59Which part?
08:00The whole thing.
08:02I mean, aren't children just basically like a vessel for old people to pour their love
08:06into?
08:07Just distracting the inevitable loneliness of aging.
08:09Oh, wow.
08:10What a great lunch.
08:12I mean, what reason would a person have to keep losing their daughter?
08:15It's not like it's on purpose.
08:17I'm like, who cares?
08:19Can I get big in for another daughter?
08:21What's wrong?
08:23It's okay.
08:24I didn't even know her.
08:26Yeah.
08:26It's fine.
08:29We had such a great seven and a half months together.
08:32It was so good.
08:33I didn't, I didn't really even need any more.
08:36Yeah.
08:37Yeah.
08:38I've actually heard that.
08:39That's a secret to a healthy adulthood.
08:42What?
08:43A dead mother and an agoraphobic father?
08:47Yeah.
08:47It's perfect.
08:48I think I read a New York Times article about it.
08:50And they said also that someone with overbearing parents makes the perfect match for someone
08:55with a dead mother and a strange father.
08:57Should we like get married or something?
08:59Oh, I'm thinking really small ceremony, my parents little vacation cabin in the woods.
09:04None of the wedding bullshit.
09:05Just beautiful nature, snow falling outside the window.
09:08And we don't have to fly.
09:09We can drive and stop at the fanciest restaurants we can find.
09:13That's it.
09:14Let's fucking go.
09:15I'll marry you.
09:15Okay.
09:16Cheers.
09:18Clink.
09:20I love you.
09:21Love you.
09:22Love you.
09:23Hey.
09:23What?
09:24My family's gonna love you.
09:29She's got it.
09:30We're getting married.
09:33And, um, our kid will be perfect.
09:41Don't put so much pressure on our kid.
09:44Our kid will be mediocre.
09:45Some kids kill their own parents.
09:48Okay, but how is our kid gonna kill us when it's only this big?
10:01Talking to Sam.
10:02Talking to Sam, please walk with us.
10:06You don't understand what he deserves.
10:06He's killing the dogs, isn't he?
10:09What?
10:15I'm sorry.
10:17I've got a baby.
10:24I'm sorry Mer 되er than you.
10:26I'm sorry Merlot.
10:28Everyone dive in myself into a death, Danny.
10:30I love you from the heart of the world
10:37My heart was made for bleeding
10:40I love you
10:43And I know you're mine
10:58Ready?
10:59Three
11:00Two
11:01One
11:03Two
11:14Two
11:16Two
11:17Two
11:17Two
11:17Two
11:18Two
11:31Two
11:32Two
11:32Two
11:32Two
11:36Two
11:36Two
11:37Two
11:37Two
11:37Two
11:37Two
11:38Two
11:47Two
11:49Two
11:49Two
11:51Two
11:54Two
11:58Two
12:00Two
12:00Three
12:01Three
12:02Three
12:06Three
12:09Two
12:09Three
12:09Three
12:09Three
12:09Three
12:09Three
12:09Three
12:09Three
12:09One
12:10One
12:11Two
12:12One
12:14Two
12:24Come on.
12:58God, I gotta pee.
13:42Oh my God, Mickey.
13:43Mickey, come here.
13:45Come here.
13:46What?
13:47Come here.
13:52Look.
13:53Oh my God.
13:53Do you think it's okay?
13:56Okay, stay here.
13:58I'm gonna go check the bathroom.
14:01Rachel, are you...
14:02I'm looking for its parents and, uh, just stay.
14:05I'll be right back.
14:06Rachel.
14:07Uh, okay.
14:10Hey, hi, baby.
14:11What's up?
14:12No, no, no, don't cry.
14:15Happy baby.
14:17Hello?
14:20Anyone in here?
14:30Oh my God.
14:37Hello?
14:39Hello?
14:39Hello?
14:45Hello?
17:19What the fuck?
21:12Hey, you said South of here?
21:14Uh, yeah, South of here.
21:16Um, hey.
21:17Okay, stay there.
21:18Wait, Benjamin.
21:20You are what you are to me.
21:26You are my happiness.
21:33That's what you are.
21:39You are my happiness.
21:46You are my happiness.
21:46You are my happiness.
22:56I'm sure he's the one.
23:07I'm sure he's the one.
23:32What the fuck?
23:53I'm sure he's the one.
24:33I'm sure he's the one.
24:39Oh my God!
24:42Fucking damn it!
24:45Fuck!
24:48Oh my God!
24:49Sorry!
24:50You scared me!
24:51Is the baby okay?
24:52Oh yeah, the family came back.
24:54What the fuck?
24:56You're bleeding.
24:57What happened?
24:58So they thought I was trying to steal their baby and the guy punched me in the face.
25:02What?
25:02Yeah, they pulled over to get some fresh air because she was car sick and then I guess they
25:06went for a walk.
25:07And what?
25:08And left their baby in the car?
25:09Yeah.
25:10What?
25:11Is that not fucking psychotic?
25:13Let me see.
25:13I know.
25:14I know.
25:15Oh man.
25:15Fuck, you had such a nice face.
25:17Yeah, they were really apologetic.
25:20They felt like we did the right thing.
25:21Okay, I'm so glad that they felt that way.
25:24Wait, wait.
25:24Should we wait for the cops?
25:30Let's get the fuck out of here.
25:45You okay?
25:46Hmm?
25:47You okay?
25:47Yeah.
25:48It's okay.
25:51It's okay.
26:01What is it?
26:01Uh, code is 0817.
26:04Your birthday?
26:07No pressure.
26:09Marrying your favorite child.
26:10Stop.
26:11You know they can't wait to meet you.
26:26Whoa.
26:28Yeah.
26:48Your parents' little vacation cabin?
26:52Is it not a cabin?
26:54It's not little.
26:57I don't know if I have a concussion or something.
27:05Okay.
27:07You ready?
27:19Holy shit.
27:24This is insane.
27:33Oh, God.
27:36Yeah.
27:37What is...
27:37Um, it's like a tradition of the family dogs.
27:46Oh, it's actually...
27:48We always got in trouble for looking in their eyes because it was considered, like, disrespectful
27:53to do after they were dead.
27:55How would anyone know if you looked them in the eyes?
27:58It's just my dad said that they could see.
28:00I just looked you in the eyes, so...
28:03Why am I in trouble?
28:04I guess we'll find out.
28:28I guess we'll find out.
28:34We've always dreamed of being painted into a family portrait guarded by two taxidermy dogs.
28:39Oh yeah, did they paint over your brother's ex-wife with his new one?
28:43Yeah, my sister demanded it.
28:47That's fucking weird.
28:50Yeah.
28:55This is the love game.
28:58The love game?
28:59Yeah.
29:19This is the family pet too?
29:32Oh, no.
29:34My great-grandmother Elizabeth was killed by a bear, and her husband died trying to avenge her death.
29:43Wow.
29:44Yeah.
29:46Would you do that for me?
29:49Of course.
29:51Oh, careful, careful.
29:52Sorry.
29:53Yeah.
29:53Sorry.
29:54You're good.
29:55I could, um, get you some eyes for your face, or I could, you know, just call the letter.
30:02Oh, he's off at 10.
30:07Oh.
30:08I'm just kidding.
30:10Are you sure?
30:10I can get it.
30:11I got it.
30:12Just tell me where it is.
30:13All right, I'll get the bags from the car.
30:16Kitchen, it's, uh, down the atrium.
30:19It's the right of the curb hallway by the front door.
30:22Here?
30:22Yeah.
30:23Right.
30:23I got it.
30:31I got it.
30:44I got it.
30:50He eats his shit. He eats his shit all the time.
30:53No, I don't put the rules. I put them myself.
30:56You just have to be that.
30:57Well, you should divorce him and marry me and complete the Cunningham sibling trifecta.
31:01What the fuck?
31:02You scared the shit out of me.
31:04Sorry. Sorry, I didn't want to interrupt.
31:08I can go.
31:09Oh my God, she exists.
31:12There's no such thing as an erupting country.
31:15We're family.
31:17It's your wedding.
31:19Are you excited?
31:21I am excited.
31:23Oh, we were just talking about you and you appeared out of thin air.
31:26I told you I can summon things.
31:28She's not a thing, Portia.
31:30Come meet your new family.
31:34Nellie?
31:35Julie?
31:36Nellie.
31:37Hi.
31:39It's Jules.
31:39Nice to meet you.
31:40I can't believe we're finally meeting you.
31:42It's like you've been avoiding us on purpose.
31:43Oh my God, no.
31:44I was really disappointed when you didn't come to London or an Iceland trip last summer,
31:47but you're scared of planes or whatever.
31:49I was just telling my friend Cindy about how you and Nikki met in an airport.
31:53Oh, so romantic.
31:57You're really cute.
31:59Isn't she cute?
32:00She's very cute.
32:00Oh, let me see the ring.
32:04So pretty.
32:06Nellie, isn't it pretty?
32:07It's pretty, yeah.
32:08So where is Don and Nikki?
32:09He's just unloading the car.
32:11We just got here.
32:12Um, I actually came in here to get some ice for his face because he, um, he got punched
32:20in the face tonight.
32:22Really?
32:23Why?
32:25It's a long story.
32:31You got time.
32:35Um, we were at a rest stop in the middle of nowhere and there was, um, like an abandoned
32:42baby in, in a car.
32:45Nikki stayed with the baby.
32:46I went to get help.
32:46And then when I went to this dive bar, there was this, like, very creepy guy.
32:51What if it was the sorry man?
32:55Portia.
32:59The what?
33:00Did you know there's something evil living in these woods?
33:03No, we're not doing that.
33:05Come on.
33:06I can tell a fucking story if I want to.
33:08I'm done.
33:08Rachel and Sarah.
33:11Night, Rachel.
33:12Good night.
33:14Watch out.
33:14Oh.
33:16Okay, I'm gonna go.
33:20Rachel.
33:21Hmm?
33:21It's quick.
33:22It's a bedtime story.
33:27Yeah.
33:28Okay.
33:31Okay.
33:32Picture this.
33:33It's a regular winter day, a day just like today.
33:35Jules is like eight and decides to run away because he's dramatic.
33:38I'm a baby, so I don't remember it anyway.
33:40It starts getting dark out and baby Jules is all alone in the woods.
33:44You know what's worse than being all alone in the woods?
33:47When you realize you're actually not all alone.
33:53So Jules hears a woman screaming like,
33:55But worse.
33:57He tries to run away from the sound, but no matter what direction he gets, the screams get louder and
34:04louder and louder and louder and louder and louder.
34:09Until he comes face to face with it, the sorry man, with his long, sharp, dirty nails, his distended belly,
34:22his mouth open in a downturned smile, wailing.
34:28It's awful.
34:30Picture that shit ten fucking feet in front of you and that's what baby Jules sees.
34:35So Jules hides from the sorry man, holding his breath, watching, watching, watching, as the sorry man cuts a woman
34:47open and turns her inside out.
34:53And the whole time he does it, he cries and says, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
35:03It's awful.
35:05He's totally deranged and he comes up from hell, stalking these woods, believing his long lost wife.
35:10He's hidden inside another woman.
35:12And, like, one day he'll slice a woman open and there she'll be.
35:19And the two of them can go back to hell in some fucked up romantic kind of...
35:27Oh my God.
35:30What is that?
35:36I got you!
35:38I got you both.
35:40Aw, Judy, what's up?
35:43What are you doing up, Judy?
35:46Spying on the girls?
35:48Sorry, I push up.
35:50I couldn't sleep.
35:51Well, this is Rachel.
35:52She's gonna be your new auntie.
35:54Isn't that exciting?
35:56Aw, it's okay.
35:59No, the sorry man's awoken by the scent of blood, so you just have to avoid bleeding.
36:03You're not on your period, right?
36:07Don't worry.
36:08The sorry man doesn't want little boys.
36:10No.
36:12He prefers brides.
36:14So this is what we say to Auntie Rachel.
36:16Good night.
36:16Good night.
36:17Sweet bride.
36:18Sweet bride.
36:20Don't let the sorry man see your insides.
36:31Hey, sir, I had to hear that story to get me to this.
36:34It scared us so much when we were kids that our parents put a ban on it.
36:39So you met Jules and Nellie, too?
36:41That's fun.
36:42Are they trying to kill each other with butter knives?
36:45I mean, you don't believe in it.
36:47Right?
36:47No, I definitely don't believe in the human skin-wearing monster from hell.
36:55But something happened to Jules in the woods from your kids.
36:59You just came back different.
37:03You don't know what really happened?
37:07That's the story you came back with.
37:10And then my parents ditched him at some fancy European boarding school.
37:14Pretty messed up, right?
37:15I stabbed a guy at the dive bar.
37:18What?
37:19With the car keys.
37:22He was super fucking creepy.
37:24What do you mean?
37:25He kept staring at me, and then he started walking up to me, and I thought that he was going
37:28to hurt me, but he was...
37:29I don't know how to describe it, but I was like, he was watching me pee.
37:33What? Are you okay?
37:33Yeah, fine.
37:35It was just...
37:39I don't know.
37:40I do feel sort of like I'm having deja vu, but not the good kind.
37:44I feel something so familiar, and I don't know how to describe it except just dread.
37:50Like when you just know something bad's going to happen, you just know, and I've been feeling that way more
37:55and more and more and more and more since we got here.
37:58And then now that we're here, I just like, I don't know, I just like, I really, I really feel
38:03it now.
38:04Hey, come here. Come here. Rachel.
38:05Baby, come here.
38:07It's okay.
38:08I'm sorry.
38:10I'm sorry.
38:12I get it.
38:13Hey, I've been feeling it, too.
38:15I've been feeling off.
38:16I completely understand.
38:25Nikki.
38:26Hmm?
38:28Did you tell your sister I didn't come to Iceland because of a panic attack?
38:33No.
38:34I wouldn't do that.
38:37Then why does she know I'm afraid of flying?
38:41Well, she knows the story of how we met.
38:48I'm sorry.
38:50I'm sorry.
38:51I'm sorry.
38:52I'm sorry.
38:53I'm sorry.
38:53I'm sorry.
38:55I'm sorry.
39:13I have to do the thing.
39:51Oh, my God.
40:13Oh, my God.
40:50Oh, my God.
40:57Oh, my God.
41:11Oh, my God.
41:40Oh, my God.
42:10Oh, my God.
42:23Oh, my God.
42:27Oh, my God.
42:54Oh, my God.
43:03Oh, my God.
43:05Oh, my God.
43:35Oh, my God.
44:05Oh, my God.
44:55Oh, my God.
44:58Oh, my God.
45:28Oh, my God.
46:21Oh, my God.
46:55Oh, my God.
47:24Oh, my God.
47:27Oh, my God.
47:57Oh, my God.
48:54Oh, my God.
48:57Oh, my God.
49:32Oh, my God.
50:02Oh, my God.
50:32Oh, my God.
50:57Oh, my God.
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