- 13 hours ago
My Dad Is Poseidon 💕 💕 💕
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🎥
Short filmTranscript
00:12Slow-ass sea slug! Your launch today, Beach!
00:33Slow-ass sea slug!
00:37Slow-ass sea slug!
00:40Slow-ass sea slug!
01:00Filthy scavengers!
01:02When Lord Poseidon ruled the Deep, you Skyrats swore never to breach the surface!
01:09Poseidon?
01:10Fish food ages ago.
01:12No!
01:15No!
01:37Sire, Zeus' people just breached your outer barrier.
01:41I'm retired. Don't bring that crap to my door.
01:45Get out!
01:47Sire!
02:04Who the hell broke my new console?
02:06I'm gonna go deal with that bastard!
02:09Sire! You're finally stepping in!
02:25Go fight somewhere else. Don't block me from clearing my game.
02:28My king! Even Poseidon himself would still be fit to shine my boots!
02:54What did you do? Turn me back right now!
03:02Sire! The entire Abyssal Realm awaits your command. Lead us against Olympus! We beg you!
03:08Zeus' brain's probably been eaten out by Chlamydia for years. I'm retired. I don't waste breath on crazy people.
03:20Screw power struggles. Rotting in bed playing games is the real way to live.
03:30Fight!
03:37Get your hands off me, creep!
03:39Sorry. I didn't mean to...
03:45Wait. Pointy ears. A dryage? What's a Forrest Nintz doing here?
03:54He's just a regular human. A total nerd.
03:57Damn it.
03:58The Aphrodisian's kicking in.
04:09You're burning up down here. Way harder than I pictured.
04:14I was drugged. This whole thing is Dylan's sick set up. If I don't mate someone before the timer runs
04:20out, I die. I really need this guy.
04:29Goddamn. You really know how to flip my switch.
04:40I need more. A lot more.
04:50Don't stop. Harder.
04:53Squeeze me tight.
05:01What the hell did you do to me last night?
05:05Hey, I put in a lot of work. Don't tell me you forgot.
05:10Leora! I know you're in there! Nowhere left to run!
05:14Damn it. He tracked me.
05:28Leora.
05:29Leora. You're my fiancé. You belong with me. Come home.
05:33Get away!
05:34Dylan!
05:37As the leader of the Satyr you actually drugged me.
05:44Why the fuck are you wearing some dude's shirt?
05:47You slept with someone?
05:50Who screwed up my plan!
05:54Oh, so you're the genius who roofed her.
05:57Newsflash, tough guy. Real men don't need tricks.
06:00You talking to the boss like that, punk?
06:08So you're the loser who ruined everything?
06:10You actually fuck this beach bomb shut in?
06:20Touch him again and you'll regret it.
06:22Her body's tainted now, but her blood still has value.
06:25Can't push too hard yet.
06:28I won't kill him.
06:31But you're coming with me, Leora.
06:34Babe, if you don't want to go, I can handle this clown.
06:43Forget today ever happened.
06:45Go back to your life.
06:59Seriously? Can't I just play my game for once?
07:12Those assholes are back already.
07:14What are you talking about?
07:21Hey, pencil neck! I'm Dylan's top enforcer.
07:24Either get the hell out of this water, or kneel and call me daddy.
07:28Dylan who? Speak up, man. My ears are shot.
07:31Keep acting tough!
07:32Jax can stomp boulders to dust!
07:34Even Nereus' sea folk give him a wide burn.
07:49You asked for this.
08:03You one-shotted pants top an orcer? Who the hell are you?
08:07You!
08:23It's too late, boss. Her heartbeat's fading fast.
08:41Somebody help me!
08:55give me a name Leora
08:57who did this
08:58I'm going to tear them apart
09:02it was
09:24your father sold you to me a long time ago
09:26you're my fiance my property
09:28you filthy whore
09:30spread your legs for some straight dog
09:36but at least your bloodline is still worth something
09:43no let go
09:47with nymph blood in my veins
09:49even Olympus will bow to me
09:58I got careless
10:01diving near a shipwreck
10:03my fault
10:03shipwreck
10:05those cuts are surgical Leora
10:07someone did this to you
10:12you're just a regular
10:13guy
10:14stay out of it
10:15boss
10:17soup's ready
10:23if I don't make it
10:26promise me you'll take care of Lily
10:28she's all we have left
10:31she's safe
10:31now drink
10:35soup isn't gonna fix this Jack
10:42Jack
10:43you
10:46ambrosia residue
10:47golden applesap
10:48I studied this in grad's time
10:51Greek meth said it could raise the dead for mortals
10:53where the hell did you get this
10:56more
10:57try it
11:08these ingredients
11:09where did you get them
11:16it's my first time meeting daddy
11:18I gotta find the prettiest shell for him
11:44what a lively little snack
11:47what a lively little snack
11:58I just fished this stuff out of the bay
12:00you want more
12:02I've got a ton of it laying around
12:03this guy's luck is insane
12:07a random mortal just happens to have relics of the old gods
12:12is this coast a secret olympian vault
12:15you're safe here Liria
12:19we've got a kid together now
12:22I'm not letting anything touch
12:24you or Lily
12:27Jack
12:28I'm grateful but I
12:29daddy
12:29help
12:33something's trying to eat me
12:36Lily's in trouble
12:44I'm not tasty
12:45my mommy and daddy are super strong
12:48please don't eat me
12:54divine power runs through this girl
12:57devour you
12:59and I might even claim the sea king's throne
13:02oh
13:05huh
13:17oh
13:18yeah
13:21yeah
13:35You disgusting freak!
13:38What do you think you're doing to my daughter?
13:40Mommy!
13:43I've got you, baby.
13:45Touch my kid again, and I'll rip her head off your shoulders!
13:50Ha!
13:51You ruined my meal?
13:55Wait.
13:56The baby mama herself.
13:59Perfect.
14:03Two courses for the price of one!
14:12You bitch!
14:19Jack, take Lily and run.
14:21Go!
14:22Go!
14:27Run from the Lercian Hydro, you pathetic little insects.
14:46Poseidon's bloodline, if I stay, I'm dead.
14:59Poseidon's bloodline, if I stay, I'm dead.
15:01Cass, you straight up scared the monster off.
15:04Me?
15:05No way.
15:06Even at full strength, I couldn't take that thing.
15:08I'm still recovering.
15:10Wait.
15:11Maybe it sensed the guardian of this sea vault?
15:16Whatever.
15:17Let's get home.
15:17That thing might circle back.
15:22About that monster.
15:28Failed at the perfect time?
15:30Figures.
15:31He's just a regular guy, after all.
15:33kale.
15:55He's just a regular guy.
15:55I don't know.
15:58Entraged the button for the unexpected.
15:58Then we are at it.
15:59There's a regular guy.
15:59He's just a regular guy.
16:00I don't know.
16:00Why are you?
16:13my liege have mercy i didn't know she was your die i swear it i please spare my life
16:20no problem thank you my lord thank you for your mercy try to remember that in your next life
16:38enjoying the show
16:49my king we had nothing to do with the hydro we swear listen to me if any of you take
16:55one step
16:56near my daughter again i will skin you alive now get the fuck out of my sight yes yes my
17:03leash
17:15my love since you refuse to tell me who did this to you i'll just have to dig up the
17:21truth myself
17:30that wild god pan's always pulling power grabs but poseidon guy's long gone probably fish food in
17:38some trench right sea god myth ancient history want to bet there ain't no sea king anymore
17:55the world's the same as ever the dead are louder than the living who the hell are you
18:01you're in hades territory asshole
18:16poseidon
18:25is hades still breathing if he is tell him to get his ass out here
18:33who the fuck is tearing up my domain
18:41i don't have time for this i'm not wasting it on you i need a background check
18:50you know who i am hades is ace you crash my spot you die here
19:18little fish
19:27hades staff one shot the sea king he's real
19:34hades you hiding come out or this whole place turns into driftwood
19:42one two
19:47thank the fates the boss is here
19:54boss this bum
20:02you idiot piss off the lord of the oceans and we all drown
20:05you're done get out in front of poseidon your ants i'm saving your worthless heights
20:16my lord is this handling satisfactory i'm not here for fun dig up everything on that leora and her daughter
20:28understood i'll mobilize every team right now
20:31you have three days i'll be back
20:37everyone drop what you're doing full sweep on the leora and child
20:41every resource every contact now tell them poseidon's back
20:53poseidon's back let's hope this time he doesn't flood the place just to make a point
21:05dylan wants the woman dead kid comes with us alive she's still hurt
21:09easy pickets let's move
21:23we'll make a nice stew surprise daddy for lunch
21:33a forest nymph playing happy home mater pathetic
21:40who are you
21:42dylan's orders
21:44come quietly to the stronghold
21:46or i drag your corpse back
21:49mommy
21:50who's the ugly goat man
21:52hand over the kid
22:02stay away from my daughter
22:03don't you dare touch her
22:21mommy you're bleeding
22:23this forest is locked down
22:26surrender now
22:27i'll go with you on one condition
22:30let my daughter go
22:32no mommy i'm not leaving you
22:35no mommy i'm not leaving you
22:46kid's mine
22:47you die
22:50you poisoned me
22:55my poison fog the more you fight the faster it rots you from the inside
23:01give up
23:02you've gone too far
23:04even if i die today
23:06even if i die today
23:07i'm not letting you win
23:10you're wounded
23:12poisoned
23:13done
23:15the kids coming with me
23:19don't touch her
23:20come at me
23:22feisty one
23:23dylan wants you dead
23:25but first i'm gonna have some fun
23:35such a pretty face
23:37all mine now
23:41let my mommy go you bastard
23:51lilly
23:51lilly
23:52lilly
23:53get out of here
23:58serve me well
23:59and i might let her run a little longer
24:08lilly
24:09lilly
24:10lilly
24:15lilly
24:31lilly
24:32woman
24:32you're a dead man
24:35ah
24:39jack
24:41what the hell just happened
24:45are you okay babe
24:47so you're the boyfriend
24:48too bad
24:50i'll snap every bone in your body with one hand
25:09Jack, keep Lily safe
25:11Long as I'm here, you don't lose
25:13Shut up and go
25:15Now
25:27If I pull this vine, the whole cliff goes with us, demon
25:32Run all you want
25:33My pack tears you both apart
26:01Run all you want
26:25Daddy, don't leave mommy
26:27I don't want to lose her
26:29Shh, Lily, don't cry
26:31Daddy promises mommy's gonna be okay
26:33We're going back for her right now
26:41Hand over the kid
26:42I'll make your death quick
26:51Lily
26:52Turn around and cover your ears
26:54Okay
26:57Daddy's gonna do a little magic trick
26:59Okay
27:03You are the best
27:13Some nobody dare stare me down
27:15You're asking to die
27:20You're not human
27:22Who the hell are you?
27:23My daughter's here
27:24So I'm keeping it clean
27:26Disappear
27:45Okay, Lily
27:46Lily, you can turn around now
27:51Daddy
27:52What happened to the bad guy?
27:55He got so dazzled by how cute you are
27:57He just passed out
28:04Lily
28:04Stay right here inside this circle
28:06Don't move
28:07Daddy's gonna help mommy beat the bad guys
28:09I'll be right back
28:15Daddy, be careful
28:18Don't worry, Lily
28:19No one's ever beaten your dad
28:28That poison's eating you alive, little nymph
28:30How much longer you got?
28:32Let me have my fun first
28:35So what?
28:37I'll drag you to hell with me before I die
28:45Damn
28:51You take a hit well
28:53Let's enjoy this body
28:55Then I'll turn you into my eternal trophy
28:58For Jack and Lily
29:00Even if I die
29:01I'm taking this beast down with me
29:05No signal?
29:06You trying to hog the glory?
29:08More coming
29:09Killing one won't save Jack and Lily
29:11No choice
29:12I'm taking them down with me
29:14This the woman Dylan wants?
29:16Where the kid?
29:17Some guy took the brat
29:20Useless
29:21Grab her first
29:22Then we hunt the child
29:27Just
29:28Let Jack and Lily be safe
29:33You all want to come at once?
29:35Then die together
29:36Pick your graves
29:49Why did you come back?
29:51Where's Lily?
29:55Lily?
29:56Lily's safe
29:56Don't push yourself
30:00So this is the woman's secret lover
30:03Her taste is trash
30:05Beg now
30:06And maybe I'll leave your corpses in one piece
30:10Refuse
30:10And you'll be screaming
30:12End it fast
30:16You?
30:17In our eyes
30:18You're not even an enemy
30:19Just weeds to be crushed under feet
30:23Just hold on a little longer
30:25Jack means more to me than anything
30:27I won't let him get hurt
30:38You want my husband?
30:40Step over my corpse first
30:43In a hurry to die?
30:45Fine
30:45I'll oblige
31:15You're half dead already
31:17How the hell did you knock me back?
31:19The sea is sinking
31:20Those are Poseidon's warriors
31:23This
31:25Can't be
31:50Ancient Ekethra
31:52The coastal legend monster?
31:54Why would she be here?
31:57Ha ha ha!
31:59Our boss has real backing
32:00He summoned three of Poseidon's elite guards
32:03No matter how strong you are
32:06Kneel and beg
32:07They're coming for us
32:08We're finished
32:10Don't worry darling
32:11Things might turn around
32:12Lyra Vale has been captured
32:15Now we await the Sea King's warriors
32:17To execute this peasant
32:20They're here for me
32:21Jack
32:22Stay behind me
32:23With me here
32:25No one touches you
32:26Stop saying that Jack
32:27Look around
32:28We're surrounded
32:29We could actually die here
32:36My lords
32:37Let me teach this adulterous couple a lesson
32:43You worthless creature
32:46You shouldn't even exist
32:48Where I stand
32:56Who dares show such insolence
33:00Before the Lord of the Sea?
33:02The protesters
33:03Every step
33:05You should be
33:06Who dares show such insolence
33:07I want to know
33:08You should be
33:08You should happen
33:08to
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