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00:00:00You
00:00:23Hey, Jaywalkers. Hey, motherfucker. You best be crossing the light
00:00:30You gotta get fucked up
00:00:33No, you're right here
00:00:34You're right here, you see?
00:00:37You're fucked up
00:00:38You don't see a sign, man? What's good if you pay the taxes on a sign and you're not gonna
00:00:43use it?
00:00:44Oh shit, see?
00:00:47Fucking working for everybody, bro
00:00:49Working for everybody
00:00:52Go ahead
00:01:00Fuck this sign
00:01:01Fuck this sign
00:01:03Fuck this sign
00:01:05Oh, oh, oh, oh
00:01:07Oh, what do you mean?
00:01:10Whoa, whoa, whoa, come on. Don't be an asshole
00:01:28Why was he acting like that?
00:01:30I don't know, he's just been a really big baby.
00:01:31And you only have one sibling, right?
00:01:33Yep, my little bro.
00:01:34You guys get along?
00:01:35Yeah, we hang out all the time.
00:01:36You hang out?
00:01:37Like drink beer in the garage with friends.
00:01:40Oh, that sounds awesome.
00:01:42I look forward to it.
00:01:45Me and my sister will go to concerts and shit together.
00:01:49You think it's weird that we talk about sex?
00:01:51Me and my sister.
00:01:54You have sex with your sister.
00:01:56What?
00:01:56No, no, no.
00:01:57We talk about sex.
00:01:59She'll be like, yeah, I was fucking this dude.
00:02:00He had all this shit in his teeth.
00:02:01And I'll tell her about the girls I've been boning.
00:02:04And she'll come right back at me.
00:02:05I don't really want to hear about that.
00:02:06What?
00:02:06That's weird.
00:02:07All right, come on.
00:02:07That's not weird.
00:02:08Let's go.
00:02:08Time for work.
00:02:09But okay, so I guess that's it.
00:02:11Let's go.
00:02:13But all day today, I'll think about seeing you tomorrow.
00:02:16Aww.
00:02:16See how nice he can be?
00:02:18Friends.
00:02:18Hey, Monica.
00:02:19Monica!
00:02:19Come on.
00:02:20Bye, Lonnie.
00:02:21Let's go.
00:02:22Wrap it up.
00:02:23I don't know.
00:02:23Is it weird that I think she's really hot?
00:02:25No.
00:02:26She's beautiful.
00:02:27Yeah, she's got a boyfriend.
00:02:28No.
00:02:28Yeah, but she don't like him.
00:02:30How do you know?
00:02:32How long did it take for her to bring him up?
00:02:34I don't know.
00:02:34A while.
00:02:35Exactly.
00:02:36I met the dude.
00:02:37He's kind of a pill.
00:02:38A pill?
00:02:38What do you mean?
00:02:39Like a moat?
00:02:40Yeah, like a moat.
00:02:42He's the guy she was fucking in college, and now she doesn't know how to get rid of him.
00:02:47You assume.
00:02:51Yeah, I do.
00:02:52And when I assume, I'm usually right.
00:02:56That's what happens when you're brought up Catholic, and you go to college, and you want
00:02:59to fuck.
00:02:59You pick a fella out that doesn't disgust you, and you call it a boyfriend.
00:03:03It eases the bread in guilt.
00:03:04Mm, objection.
00:03:07Grounds.
00:03:08That you did not go to college.
00:03:11Overruled.
00:03:12Overruled.
00:03:12Overruled why?
00:03:13Because I fuck a lot of college girls.
00:03:25Oh my God, enjoy it.
00:03:37You know what's fucked up?
00:03:39People still talk about Seinfeld.
00:03:41You say something to somebody, and they're like, oh yeah, like that Seinfeld.
00:03:43Did you ever see that Seinfeld?
00:03:45It's weird, man.
00:03:45The show's been off the air for like 10 years.
00:03:48Well, more than 10 years.
00:03:50We were in high school, and the show went off the air.
00:03:53No, no, for sure.
00:03:56Wait.
00:04:00Okay.
00:04:03And, what year did we graduate again?
00:04:06I don't care.
00:04:09Huh, shit.
00:04:1098.
00:04:12We graduated in 1998?
00:04:15No, that's what it says here.
00:04:18What, did we graduate in 98?
00:04:19No, it said Seinfeld.
00:04:20Oh, Seinfeld 98.
00:04:20What year did we graduate?
00:04:22No, I think we graduated in 98, too.
00:04:24Oh, so they both have been in the years.
00:04:25We both graduated in 98.
00:04:27We both graduated in 98.
00:04:27Yeah.
00:04:29What the fuck have we been doing for the last 10 years, man?
00:04:3316 years.
00:04:35Holy shit.
00:04:39I'm gonna start thinking about that right now.
00:04:43That's probably a good idea.
00:04:49Okay, here you go.
00:04:50All right, thank you.
00:04:51Um, my dog got into some of that stuff you were using.
00:04:54The mud?
00:04:55Yeah, he ate some of it.
00:04:56Is that bad?
00:04:57It ain't good.
00:04:59Any idea what I should do?
00:05:00Just, just keep an eye on it.
00:05:02Make sure they poop in the next 24 hours.
00:05:03It happens.
00:05:04Oh, okay.
00:05:04They love that stuff for some reason.
00:05:06All right, thank you.
00:05:07Nothing to worry about.
00:05:08All right.
00:05:09Come on, guys.
00:05:12Bert.
00:05:35You heard about those kids in Romeoville?
00:05:37Uh-uh.
00:05:39No one should I have heard.
00:05:41Fucking kids are nuts.
00:05:42They take their friend, light him on fire, then they were gonna cut him up and bury him.
00:05:46That didn't work.
00:05:47They take and throw him in the back of his mother's car, and then they go play video games
00:05:51all night.
00:05:52Jesus Christ, that's fucked up.
00:05:53Yeah, I know.
00:05:54You know what?
00:05:54This whole Chicago area is going to hell.
00:05:56Yeah, Romeoville, right?
00:05:57Yeah, Romeoville, Chicago just aggravates the hell out of me.
00:06:11Hey, did you drive tonight, Len?
00:06:14No.
00:06:15I didn't.
00:06:15I walked from home.
00:06:17Okay, well...
00:06:17Yeah, I was at home.
00:06:18I didn't want to be there.
00:06:20So I figured I would come down here and hang out with you.
00:06:22Fucking sad, as that sounds.
00:06:24Come on, it's not that fucking sad.
00:06:25It's not that fucking sad.
00:06:26Come on, I'm not that bad, am I?
00:06:27No, you're not that bad.
00:06:29Come on.
00:06:29Here.
00:06:30Let's make it a little happier.
00:06:31Oh, happier.
00:06:32Isn't alcohol a depressant?
00:06:34That one hurts free.
00:06:37There you go, Phil.
00:06:38Thanks, Phil.
00:06:39All right.
00:06:40Salud.
00:06:40Salud.
00:06:43What do I owe you for everything?
00:06:45You know what?
00:06:45Just call it 25.
00:06:47Okay.
00:06:48Oh, shit.
00:06:48Thanks.
00:06:51There you go.
00:06:52Have a good night.
00:06:53All right, you too.
00:06:57Be careful out there, okay?
00:06:59See you tomorrow.
00:06:59See you tomorrow.
00:07:19See you tomorrow.
00:07:48Here you go.
00:08:18So, let's get started.
00:08:39I can't see anything.
00:08:41Oh, you dick.
00:08:43Oh, my purse.
00:08:45No, I got it.
00:08:45Hey, hey, no, no.
00:08:46Hey, come here.
00:08:47I got it.
00:08:48It's right here.
00:08:49It's on my shoulder.
00:08:51I know.
00:08:57Wait.
00:08:59Wait, what?
00:09:02What the hell was that?
00:09:05I don't know.
00:09:10Okay.
00:09:12Okay, come on.
00:09:19Come on.
00:09:20Turn over.
00:09:23Come here.
00:09:24Come here.
00:09:25Come here.
00:09:25Come here, dance.
00:09:30Here, sit.
00:09:32Sit up.
00:09:32Are you talking again?
00:09:34Yeah, I guess so.
00:09:36Gross.
00:09:37I'm going to go sleep on the couch, okay?
00:09:39No, you're supposed to stay here with me.
00:09:41Okay.
00:09:42I don't think that's a good idea.
00:09:44Come here.
00:09:46No, stop fucking me, please.
00:09:49Fine.
00:09:52Okay.
00:09:55No, it's okay.
00:09:57Oh, shit.
00:10:01Okay.
00:10:03Oh, shit.
00:10:05I'm okay.
00:10:06Okay.
00:10:06I'm okay.
00:10:08I don't know.
00:10:08It's okay.
00:10:10Okay.
00:10:18Whatever.
00:10:18It's okay.
00:10:19If you have any digging��,
00:10:26Let's go.
00:11:49Guess how many miles I ran yesterday.
00:11:51A million miles.
00:11:53Why you gotta guess so high?
00:11:54No, I ran five miles.
00:11:56Should I have guessed four and a half?
00:11:57Let me tell you.
00:11:59It was really hard, but I powered through it.
00:12:01I was having a good time.
00:12:02Now I got the shin splints.
00:12:03You don't have shin splints.
00:12:04Well, they hurt like hell.
00:12:06Of course it hurts.
00:12:07When was the last time you exercised?
00:12:10No.
00:12:11You ran five miles?
00:12:13I jogged five miles.
00:12:14Jogged five miles.
00:12:15Five miles, though.
00:12:16Your shins are sore, but you don't have shin splints.
00:12:19Your butt's probably sore?
00:12:20It is.
00:12:21You have a shin splints?
00:12:21No.
00:12:22It's like the most annoying thing in the world when people start jogging and then they quit
00:12:25because they've heard of shin splints.
00:12:27Well, he always explains things to me, so he understands them.
00:12:30Somebody's got still money.
00:12:32Somebody's got still money.
00:12:34And give me more going otherwise.
00:12:38What?
00:12:55What the hell, dude?
00:12:57Come on.
00:12:58Ow.
00:12:59Fuck.
00:13:00I'm leaving you alone.
00:13:06Mike.
00:13:11Mike.
00:13:16Michael.
00:13:19Mike.
00:13:25Can I trade you one of my oranges for one of your special oranges?
00:13:42Pull.
00:13:44You hear about that old guy?
00:13:46Uh, he shot one of the intruders that was robbing his house.
00:13:49No, I didn't.
00:13:50What happened?
00:13:50He was totally fucked.
00:13:52The guy was running the other way, so he wasn't in any danger.
00:13:55Yeah, I don't really give a shit about that.
00:13:56You know what scares me?
00:13:57He is the other people.
00:13:58That's what we're saying, dickhead.
00:13:59Pull.
00:14:00If somebody gets shot, it's always the gun they're after.
00:14:04Right, because you'd have lead pipey to beat those kids to death with it.
00:14:07Here's the thing, though.
00:14:07What the fuck's that mean?
00:14:08Think about it, idiot.
00:14:09Pull.
00:14:10Listen.
00:14:12If the guy hadn't had those guns, he wouldn't have shot those people, right?
00:14:15Yeah.
00:14:15You asked him?
00:14:16No, I assumed.
00:14:18And when I assumed...
00:14:18You make a hit?
00:14:19No, I am usually right when I assume.
00:14:21Hold on a second.
00:14:22Let me load the fucking track.
00:14:23You see a guy raping a girl.
00:14:24Can you shoot him?
00:14:26Pull.
00:14:27I didn't tell him to knock it off.
00:14:29Self-defense on me.
00:14:30You want me to...
00:14:31No, I got it.
00:14:32All right.
00:14:33I got it.
00:14:36You know, sometimes I get so bored or so drunk that I think about blowing my head off.
00:14:42Or shooting it out the window.
00:14:44Why don't you?
00:14:46I don't know.
00:14:47Just lazy.
00:14:49Pull.
00:14:50It's like fucking Campbell.
00:14:51Lazy.
00:14:53Wait, what do you mean like fucking Campbell?
00:14:54What are you fucking...
00:14:55He fucking killed himself.
00:14:58Wait, when?
00:14:58Pull.
00:14:59Hold on.
00:15:01New Year's Eve.
00:15:02No, the 18th I heard.
00:15:04Nobody told me.
00:15:05Wait, what did you say?
00:15:06December 18th.
00:15:07December 18th.
00:15:09This...
00:15:09Dude, December 18th.
00:15:10But nobody told me though.
00:15:11Yeah man, it's Campbell.
00:15:12It's not like they set up a scholarship fund for the fucking guy.
00:15:14Why the fuck didn't anybody tell me?
00:15:16I guess we filed it in our give a shit file and moved on.
00:15:19Pull.
00:15:20Seriously.
00:15:20I think someone would have seen it.
00:15:22Pull.
00:15:23Was he gonna tell me what the fuck actually happened though?
00:15:27I don't think there was a funeral or anything.
00:15:29Pull.
00:15:30Vicky's a piece of head solid.
00:15:32He was with a girl.
00:15:34She got tired of being with a drunk, I guess.
00:15:36New Year's Eve.
00:15:37Lonely.
00:15:38Probably drunk out of his mind.
00:15:40Yeah.
00:15:40Fucking killed himself.
00:15:45You surprised?
00:15:47No.
00:15:48Not really.
00:15:50Pull.
00:15:55Yeah, it sounds like a really good time.
00:15:58No, it sounds like you're gonna be having a really fun time.
00:16:03You still there?
00:16:05You alright?
00:16:08I guess I'll just go fuck myself then.
00:16:11Well, they already got the tickets and everything, so...
00:16:15I didn't buy them.
00:16:19I don't know how to answer that.
00:16:22I don't know if I do this.
00:16:24I've done that.
00:16:27I can't do that.
00:16:30I'm here.
00:16:30I'm here.
00:16:32I'm here.
00:16:33All right.
00:16:42I have 10.
00:16:4250 cents box 473-916-108-831-616.
00:17:02Hi Monica.
00:17:03Chuck's out back already.
00:17:06Okay, I'll just go fuck myself then.
00:17:08Oh my god, would you?
00:17:10How's your morning going?
00:17:12Who died?
00:17:16Fine, Lonnie.
00:17:17How is your morning that is just beginning going so far?
00:17:20It's good. This part. I like this part. It's fun.
00:17:23It's about to suck.
00:17:26How'd that test go?
00:17:28It wasn't a test, but it was good.
00:17:29My smartphone is fucking stupid.
00:17:32458 on the work order. Fairview.
00:17:34Do you know where 458 Fairview was at?
00:17:35Did you plug the street address in?
00:17:38Yeah, I plugged it in.
00:17:40Okay, first of all, you have to use the passcode.
00:17:43Do you know what the passcode is?
00:17:44You gotta do that first.
00:17:45Yeah, you have to unlock it.
00:17:46Okay.
00:17:46Do you know the password?
00:17:47No uncertain terms.
00:17:48She feels awful about it.
00:17:50Just terrible.
00:17:50Hey, part time.
00:17:52Never touches the drum thing again.
00:17:53Just sits there, lying totally to waste, collecting dust.
00:17:56So what do we do?
00:17:56We buy a house.
00:17:57We buy a house so she can play the video game drums at 9pm on a Tuesday.
00:18:02Chopping off your head to fix a toothache.
00:18:04Yeah, exactly.
00:18:05I like it though.
00:18:05It's nice.
00:18:06It's nice to have a to-do list you actually give a shit about.
00:18:08Oh yeah.
00:18:09What school district?
00:18:1299th?
00:18:13That's good.
00:18:14That's where we were before we moved.
00:18:15Yeah.
00:18:16Yeah.
00:18:16It's nice.
00:18:16The only part about the neighborhood I don't like, kind of bothers me, is they have to
00:18:19drive everywhere.
00:18:21Yeah.
00:18:21You know, literally everywhere.
00:18:22You want to get a gallon of milk, you've got to get in your car and go like two miles
00:18:24down the road.
00:18:25It's kind of fucking with me.
00:18:26Yeah.
00:18:27Well, at least you know where your money's going for the next 30 years, right?
00:18:30Thanks.
00:18:31That's helpful to know.
00:18:32Good time to buy.
00:18:33Yeah.
00:18:35Communities used to build themselves.
00:18:38Now you've got to buy your way in.
00:18:40It's all become a grid.
00:18:41Home Depot, Meijer, Benny's, Sam's, Ikea.
00:18:46Three miles down the road, Benny's, Home Depot, Office Max.
00:18:50Then how much you make determines which grid and how far you are from black people.
00:18:59We do live near Section 8 housing.
00:19:09Shut the fuck up.
00:19:10Shut up.
00:19:14This is what I get for fucking playing 13-year-olds.
00:19:18Piece of shit.
00:19:19Does your mom know you're up this late?
00:19:21Huh?
00:19:22You little bitch.
00:19:26Alright.
00:19:26Now watch how...
00:19:29Watch how a fucking man does it, huh?
00:19:32Oh!
00:19:33You got members and all that shit.
00:19:34Yes.
00:19:35You confirmed.
00:19:38Off the second floor.
00:19:39Off the second floor.
00:19:40I got you.
00:19:41You confirmed.
00:19:45In the middle.
00:19:46It's crazy how somebody's really fucking sniping on this map.
00:19:50Oh.
00:19:59That sounds really nice.
00:20:01It is.
00:20:02Okay.
00:20:03Well, just think of me here, standing around with my thumb up my ass while you're there.
00:20:07I don't know what to say to that.
00:20:08Yeah, you don't know what to say to anything.
00:20:11You and your feelings.
00:20:12Okay.
00:20:14How about this?
00:20:16I don't want to be just the guy that you're fucking.
00:20:18Which I love.
00:20:19I love that part.
00:20:19I'm not complaining about that.
00:20:21But please let me know so I don't feel like I'm going to die standing around waiting,
00:20:26wondering whether or not you're going to invite me to a Sunday dinner at some point.
00:20:29Okay.
00:20:31I'm not ready for that.
00:20:33Ouch.
00:20:34But okay.
00:20:35Why don't we just say that instead of you standing around shuffling your feet and scratching the countertop.
00:20:41I just, yeah, I get, I get scared because every relationship I'm in, I get bored.
00:20:46Every relationship?
00:20:47How many relationships have you been in?
00:20:49I just broke up with my boyfriend for you.
00:20:53What is that cunty face?
00:20:55You act like you're 40 years old and have been engaged three times.
00:21:00I don't know what that means.
00:21:01It means that the best day of my life is when you broke up with that dude, but...
00:21:05Come on.
00:21:06Come on, what, what?
00:21:08Don't piss me off, just...
00:21:09It was a long distance thing that you weren't that into.
00:21:11And a relationship is just a little bit more than having sex with somebody in your group of friends at
00:21:16college.
00:21:17Otherwise that's just Catholic at college.
00:21:19You don't, no.
00:21:20I need to mention him for like an entire month after we started hanging out.
00:21:27I don't want to talk about this.
00:21:32Okay.
00:21:34So what is it like to know everything, hmm?
00:21:36Oh, I get pretty tired of people resenting me for it all the time.
00:21:47I'm gonna go.
00:21:50Okay.
00:21:52Hey.
00:21:56You know what I mean though, right?
00:21:59Yeah.
00:22:04Uh, so the snake head fish are apparently the...
00:22:08Uh, I don't want to talk about snakes.
00:22:09Can I get three wet?
00:22:11Two with husband eating along with sweet pepper cheese to go?
00:22:13You can avoid them all you want, but sooner or later they're gonna be the most round.
00:22:17Looking for you.
00:22:18You know what we could do?
00:22:19We could just not go to...
00:22:221794.
00:22:22I got you.
00:22:24Yeah.
00:22:25That's really good.
00:22:28Thanks, man.
00:22:29Thank you very much.
00:22:30Have a good day.
00:22:40Oh!
00:22:41Oh shit!
00:22:42Sully, what's up, man?
00:22:43What's up, Lonnie?
00:22:44How you doing?
00:22:45Oh my God, it's good to see you.
00:22:46How's it going?
00:22:47Good, good.
00:22:47Hey, this is my wife, Catherine.
00:22:49Your wife?
00:22:50Oh my God.
00:22:51Holy shit, Sully got married.
00:22:52Two years.
00:22:53Two years, congratulations.
00:22:54This is so funny.
00:22:55What's so funny?
00:22:56Oh, we were just talking about how whenever we come out here, everyone starts calling him
00:22:59Sully.
00:23:00Oh, yeah.
00:23:00You know what?
00:23:01I know.
00:23:01I know.
00:23:02And if someone had actually asked me his first name, it would have taken me a minute to remember.
00:23:06So where are you guys living?
00:23:08Yorkville.
00:23:09Oh, Jesus.
00:23:10Really?
00:23:10No wonder you're here.
00:23:12That's where she's from.
00:23:13That's where I'm from.
00:23:13Are people from Yorkville?
00:23:14Really?
00:23:16So what are you doing?
00:23:17I'm good.
00:23:18I've just been working with Chuck.
00:23:19I'm here.
00:23:20I'm going to get some beef.
00:23:20I'm going to see my dad.
00:23:21We're going to watch the game.
00:23:22Yeah?
00:23:22How's he doing?
00:23:23He's good.
00:23:23He's fucking crazy.
00:23:24He's good, though?
00:23:25Yeah, he's good.
00:23:26How's it going with you?
00:23:27Did you ever get that mole removed off your dong?
00:23:30I think that's somebody else's dong.
00:23:32Yeah, I think that's your dong.
00:23:34Somebody dong's.
00:23:35I know.
00:23:35There's a lot of them.
00:23:38We're pregnant.
00:23:40Oh, my God.
00:23:41Wow.
00:23:42That's awesome.
00:23:43Congratulations.
00:23:45Thanks.
00:23:45We're excited.
00:23:46That's awesome.
00:23:46Wow.
00:23:47What was your name again?
00:23:49Lonnie.
00:23:50Sorry.
00:23:53She used to say, we used to work when you were a baby.
00:23:58So she kept doing it.
00:24:00He would come home from school during lunch.
00:24:04And he'd be like, Mom, Mom.
00:24:07Mom.
00:24:10I don't know.
00:24:11Where are your counters?
00:24:13When are they coming?
00:24:14Okay.
00:24:16I don't know what to say to these kind of people, right?
00:24:18Tell them to fuck off.
00:24:20Be nice.
00:24:21Yeah, you'd like to.
00:24:22So anyway, we jump in the truck.
00:24:26Fuckin' fly out to Romeoville.
00:24:27Monica?
00:24:31Monica!
00:24:33How's Brian doing?
00:24:34We never see him anymore.
00:24:36Oh, that's because we're not together anymore.
00:24:37Oh.
00:24:38Oh, no.
00:24:40It's okay.
00:24:41I broke up with him.
00:24:42I'm so sweet.
00:24:44You two are so cute together.
00:24:45Were we?
00:24:46I'm sure you were.
00:24:47I don't know.
00:24:48I think it was just me.
00:24:52So, how's school going?
00:24:55It's good.
00:24:57Good.
00:24:57Yeah.
00:25:01And we lost her.
00:25:02There she goes.
00:25:05Hey.
00:25:05Hey.
00:25:06Need sleeves for that shirt.
00:25:07I got some inside.
00:25:08I'm good.
00:25:09Thanks.
00:25:09Thanks.
00:25:10Yeah.
00:25:14Huh?
00:25:14Yeah, it's cool.
00:25:15Alright.
00:25:16So, what else is going on?
00:25:18Nothing.
00:25:19Uh, my clan made 50.
00:25:21What the hell does that mean?
00:25:22Guys I play video games with.
00:25:23We made 50.
00:25:24You're still with that shit, huh?
00:25:2550 all over the world, Dad.
00:25:26Yeah, what's bad for your head, that shit?
00:25:28So staying in so much.
00:25:29What's going on with that girl?
00:25:32Nothing.
00:25:33You know what, though?
00:25:33I think it's okay because I'm handsome.
00:25:35Well, you gotta be more than handsome
00:25:37if she's the prize you're describing.
00:25:38No, I meant like I don't look like a video game guy.
00:25:41So, it's okay.
00:25:43I'm staying in stirreason.
00:25:44Yeah, right?
00:25:44I thought you were bringing beef.
00:25:45I did, it's right there.
00:25:47I'm starving, right?
00:25:48Hello?
00:25:49Hi.
00:25:49Aren't you going to say anything about Dad's cool invention?
00:25:52Wow, that's awesome.
00:25:53Come on, Dad.
00:25:53Rose before hose.
00:25:54Let's go.
00:25:55I don't even know what that thing does.
00:25:57Grandpa used to say.
00:25:58I can't do that anymore.
00:25:59I've just been...
00:25:59Brethren, let's go to the Chinese food restaurant.
00:26:01Let's go to the Chinamen.
00:26:03Ready?
00:26:04Let's call up the Chinamen.
00:26:05Sure.
00:26:06I used to make a stir fry.
00:26:08Wow.
00:26:09A girlfriend of mine lived next door when we were in the house on Cicero gave me the recipe.
00:26:15I probably made it twice a month.
00:26:17I used to go to this place...
00:26:18Then when...
00:26:19I don't know if you noticed like near the zoo.
00:26:21It's called the...
00:26:22I'd make a pot of soup.
00:26:23Mike.
00:26:23That lasted a week.
00:26:25What was that?
00:26:27That's it.
00:26:29That's it.
00:26:31You can see this again too.
00:26:33Yeah.
00:26:34It's awesome.
00:26:36I haven't made a stir fry in a long time.
00:26:39I'm going to make that next week.
00:26:41He said, no, no, don't worry about it.
00:26:43I'm going to make you your stir fry.
00:26:46Holy shit.
00:26:47Right?
00:26:48And he says, Lil, I never really cared for your stir fry.
00:26:54What'd you say?
00:26:56I just said, okay.
00:26:58I won't make it.
00:27:00How big was that?
00:27:01Took it 30 years to say something.
00:27:04I think it was like five feet.
00:27:05Jesus Christ.
00:27:07But they had some pretty good.
00:27:09I thought you were bringing Sebastian.
00:27:10You know Danimo's fucking name.
00:27:12It's Brett, right?
00:27:13Brock.
00:27:13It's not funny.
00:27:14Yeah, Brock.
00:27:15Trevor.
00:27:16No.
00:27:17Tootsie, right?
00:27:18It was Tootsie.
00:27:19You're right with Tootsie.
00:27:21Come on.
00:27:22You said you were bringing him.
00:27:23You know what?
00:27:24I actually think that he's made up.
00:27:25I think you made up Brock the hunk because you were ashamed to admit that you were a dyke.
00:27:31Fuck off, Lonnie.
00:27:32Uh-huh.
00:27:34Well, next time we come, I'll bring him by then.
00:27:36Something come up?
00:27:37What?
00:27:37Family?
00:27:37Work?
00:27:38What?
00:27:38Work.
00:27:39So how's it with that girl?
00:27:41Can you go limping her yet?
00:27:43Once you see how fucking beautiful she is, you'll want to hit that ship.
00:27:46Thanks for the warning.
00:27:48I don't know.
00:27:50Tell her how I feel.
00:27:51I tell her what's up.
00:27:52She's weird.
00:27:54She's not like that.
00:27:54She says she doesn't feel anything.
00:27:56Stupid.
00:27:57I know.
00:27:57It's weird.
00:27:59I don't like her.
00:28:00But you don't know her.
00:28:01I want to punch her in the face.
00:28:03Don't know why.
00:28:03Well, if you don't care, then why are you asking me?
00:28:06If she doesn't tell you how she feels, it's because she doesn't feel the same way.
00:28:08Quit like you know everything, John.
00:28:13Where's my purse?
00:28:15Last time I used it, I put it back where it belongs.
00:28:20Listen, she's young.
00:28:22Alright?
00:28:23Keep your mouth shut.
00:28:23Have fun.
00:28:24I know.
00:28:25It's just, I've never felt this way before.
00:28:26I don't know.
00:28:27No.
00:28:28You don't.
00:28:28Really?
00:28:29Could've swore.
00:28:29You just told me.
00:28:30I don't know, Dad.
00:28:31The thing is...
00:28:32I'm saying, I know the feeling.
00:28:34Alright?
00:28:34No.
00:28:35You don't.
00:28:37One of these days, I'm gonna say, I understand, and you just say, thanks.
00:28:43The fuck is this?
00:28:44The fuck is this, Dad?
00:28:45No.
00:28:45It's for my doctor, alright?
00:28:47It's enough.
00:28:47Just give it to me.
00:28:47Well, what are you having all these tests for?
00:28:49Look, if you would bother to really-
00:28:49Well, you had to have a biopsy.
00:28:51You don't fucking tell anybody?
00:28:52It's a little thing.
00:28:53They felt they should look, alright?
00:28:54No, no, no.
00:28:55You don't fucking do this, Dad.
00:28:56You don't keep shit like this to yourself.
00:28:57I'm gonna foot them off.
00:28:58Jesus.
00:28:58Don't you yell at me.
00:28:59You're a bit too tough guy.
00:29:01We don't fucking get you like this to us.
00:29:03You don't do it!
00:29:04Fine.
00:29:04No, fine.
00:29:05Not fine.
00:29:06You don't do that.
00:29:08Okay.
00:29:10That's what we're here for.
00:29:11That's why we're here.
00:29:15Wait, weren't you scared?
00:29:17What do I nice to talk to somebody, huh?
00:29:21I'm so pissed at you.
00:29:26You okay, though?
00:29:28Yeah.
00:29:30Weren't you worried?
00:29:32Yeah.
00:29:33Yeah.
00:29:35Well, that's what we're here for.
00:29:37I appreciate you not bothering me, though.
00:29:40Suck a dick, Lonnie.
00:29:41Do you talk to your friends like that?
00:29:42Go after them.
00:29:43What are you talking about?
00:29:44What the fuck I want?
00:29:44You're some kind of saint or something?
00:29:46I can make it through a sentence without sounding like trash.
00:29:48Oh, trash!
00:29:48No!
00:29:52You okay?
00:29:53You alright?
00:29:53Moving on?
00:29:59Okay.
00:29:59What'd you want to tell me?
00:30:00What?
00:30:01Your purse.
00:30:02You said something about your purse.
00:30:03Okay.
00:30:08Anything else good?
00:30:10Yeah, that's good.
00:30:11Good.
00:30:11Listen.
00:30:12That girl, hm?
00:30:13You should bring her around.
00:30:15Yeah, she's weird.
00:30:16Hold on.
00:30:16She's good at that.
00:30:17Alright.
00:30:18It's good.
00:30:19Here?
00:30:19Here.
00:30:25Dad.
00:30:28Come on.
00:30:28I want to go.
00:30:29What?
00:30:30Dad, come on.
00:30:31Okay.
00:30:34I'm up.
00:30:43Why the hell are we watching cartoons?
00:30:46Dad.
00:30:47Should I wake you up?
00:30:49Hmm?
00:30:50I'm going.
00:30:51Should I let you sleep?
00:30:54No.
00:30:55I'm up.
00:30:56I'm up.
00:30:56Alright.
00:30:57I'm going.
00:30:57Wake up.
00:30:58Bye.
00:30:59Bye.
00:31:00No.
00:31:01Oh.
00:31:02Ow.
00:31:03Ow.
00:31:05Wake up.
00:31:06Wake up.
00:31:07No, just fucking wake up.
00:31:08I love you.
00:31:09Love you.
00:31:09Bye.
00:31:19Oh.
00:31:21Uh-oh.
00:31:23What's in here?
00:31:26Ah.
00:31:41Hey.
00:31:42I'm really sorry.
00:31:43No, it's okay.
00:31:44Come in.
00:31:44It smells really good in here.
00:31:45Oh, thanks.
00:31:46I fell asleep on the train, so I'm not tired.
00:31:48You took the train.
00:31:49Oh, is that a problem?
00:31:50Yeah, I was a little bit worried about that.
00:31:52What's the problem?
00:31:52You know, the last train is like an hour from now.
00:31:54I might.
00:31:55Oh, I didn't.
00:31:55Yeah, I know, but it's okay.
00:31:56It's fine.
00:31:57I'll show some moderate self-control.
00:31:59I won't get too fucked up.
00:31:59I just didn't want you to have to drive me home.
00:32:01I just didn't want you to have to drive me home.
00:32:04I guess I'll stay here then.
00:32:06Okay, yeah.
00:32:07Move in if you want.
00:32:08You want a drink?
00:32:09Yeah.
00:32:10I went shopping the other day because I decided I'm going to start cooking myself more often.
00:32:14That's good.
00:32:15Yep.
00:32:16Surprise!
00:32:16No more living on takeout for me.
00:32:18Looks good.
00:32:19Mm-hmm.
00:32:20I already feel so much better.
00:32:22Like, immediately.
00:32:23I don't feel like I shoved a sandwich up my ass and I have to take a nap for the
00:32:27next,
00:32:27like, six hours.
00:32:30Oh, and I remembered just how much I love vegetables.
00:32:33They stopped looking like food to me at a certain point.
00:32:36You smoke?
00:32:38Oh, no.
00:32:39I quit.
00:32:40Cigarettes in your freezer.
00:32:42Yeah.
00:32:42These are stress cigarettes.
00:32:45So you do smoke?
00:32:46No, I keep these in here so that when I start to have a craving I won't freak out.
00:32:52I won't buy a pack.
00:32:52I'll smoke one.
00:32:53I'll throw it away and I'll feel like shit about myself.
00:32:55Just knowing that they're in there is like a relief for me.
00:32:57Security blanket.
00:32:59Exactly.
00:33:00Yeah, I picked it up from this guy that I used to work for.
00:33:02He used to carry a pack in his breast pocket for like 25 years.
00:33:06When?
00:33:06In high school?
00:33:07When did you quit?
00:33:10When you agreed to see me outside of work.
00:33:15You are such a weirdo.
00:33:17Really?
00:33:17Don't say that.
00:33:18Come on, don't say that.
00:33:19Do you have any limes?
00:33:21I do.
00:33:21I got everything.
00:33:25I also got you a toothbrush and a hair dryer cause you know I figured that those could be some
00:33:29things that you could use.
00:33:34Oh, that is sweet.
00:33:35That's what?
00:33:35That's really sweet.
00:33:37Thoughtful.
00:33:38How about this?
00:33:38Every time you say, you are such a weirdo, all I will hear you saying is this, you are so
00:33:43goddamn cute.
00:33:44You are so good looking.
00:33:46I'll take that too.
00:33:47Now that's from that Seinfeld episode where they say, instead of God bless you when people sneeze they say, you
00:33:53are so good looking.
00:33:55I see your surprise.
00:33:56You alright?
00:33:57Is this wet?
00:33:57Hell yeah.
00:33:58Oh.
00:34:00Are you gonna, is it, am I gonna end up in a trunk?
00:34:04I don't know, why did I say that?
00:34:07I don't know, I mean there is, there's some, there's some up there.
00:34:09The moon seems pretty bright.
00:34:10It is, that might be part of the problem.
00:34:12That is, that's pretty.
00:34:13My family has this place, we call it camp but it's actually like a little house and it has plumbing
00:34:18and everything.
00:34:19But it's kind of off the beaten track, like the last three miles getting there are all dirt road.
00:34:25And at night if you walk away from the fire and you let your eyes adjust you can see so
00:34:33many stars.
00:34:34It's like dizzying because there's like more stars than there is black.
00:34:40All these white dots.
00:34:42I'm not describing it well.
00:34:44When I laid down and stared at them I just got really sad because we can't see the stars where
00:34:52we live.
00:34:54All of the, it all gets drowned out by all the, the light.
00:35:00The ambient light.
00:35:00Ambul, the and, the ambulance light.
00:35:03Ambulances and ambience.
00:35:05I think it's a combo.
00:35:07It's a combo.
00:35:08I'll accept ambulance lights.
00:35:10Yeah, it's just stupid, like I can't believe that all that man-made shit could out do the stars, you
00:35:15know.
00:35:16Where is the wonder in that? That just sucks.
00:35:20You know, stars don't really shine, they're just there.
00:35:23That's some bullshit.
00:35:25It is some bullshit.
00:35:28Do you like your surprise?
00:35:30I love it, thank you.
00:35:33You're welcome.
00:35:34Not too cheesy.
00:35:36A little baby.
00:35:38Like this.
00:35:42Why are you so nice to me?
00:35:46Really?
00:35:48Come on, don't.
00:35:52I know that you're not comfortable with me telling you that I love you, but I do.
00:35:57Just don't fucking bait me into saying it.
00:36:00Don't fuck with me.
00:36:11Oh my god, you're the angriest elf right now.
00:36:14You're an angry elf.
00:36:19Don't be angry.
00:36:21You wanna dance with me up here?
00:36:23Yes, you know that I do.
00:36:26Alright.
00:36:26Don't be angry.
00:36:30Don't be angry.
00:36:31Don't be angry.
00:36:46There you go.
00:36:47Don't be angry.
00:37:03I hate a creep.
00:37:07Hey.
00:37:10What do you mean
00:37:11No, come on, come here
00:37:13Come on, I have morning breath too, it'll cancel out
00:37:16No, mine's the worst
00:37:19I've never been telling you this before
00:37:21Because I thought you'd judge me
00:37:22But bad breath is a fetish of mine
00:37:26I swear
00:37:26I bet it is
00:37:28I need stink
00:37:31Oh my god, that smells like an abortion
00:37:34What the fuck
00:37:36That's terrible
00:37:37Oh, come on
00:37:38You like it
00:37:45Okay
00:37:49I know you're just fucking with me
00:37:52But I'm not not playing this game
00:37:53Yeah, sorry
00:37:55I'm really hungry and I need to poop
00:37:56Oh, awesome
00:37:58You're not supposed to give blowjobs on an empty stomach, you know
00:38:01Is that true?
00:38:02Mm-hmm
00:38:03Where'd you hear that from?
00:38:05My gammy
00:38:06Really?
00:38:06Yeah, my grandmother
00:38:13You're perfect
00:38:15Shut up
00:38:16I'm serious
00:38:18You're the most beautiful woman I've ever seen
00:38:22You're nice
00:38:23I'm including all print media in that too
00:38:28Where's my bra?
00:38:30I don't know
00:38:31But last time I used it, I put it back where it belongs
00:38:34You text all the time and shit
00:38:36You text all the time and shit
00:38:36It's just
00:38:37She's either like
00:38:38Too tired from school
00:38:40Or it's some family shit
00:38:42Which, you know what?
00:38:43I totally get
00:38:44But what sucks is when she's like
00:38:47Yeah, oh, I can't really go out because I'm doing things with friends tonight
00:38:52What's wrong with it?
00:38:54Oh
00:38:54Yeah
00:38:55Yeah
00:38:55Yeah
00:38:56I don't know
00:38:57I'll just go fuck myself, right?
00:38:59I, you know, the thing is I just don't want to be all, like, oh, but what about me?
00:39:07Can I come out and play too?
00:39:09If she wants to invite me, she will
00:39:11Otherwise, you know, I don't, you know, I just feel like an asshole
00:39:14You can't put her in a position where she doesn't come up to answers with all your crazy fucked up
00:39:18questions
00:39:19What crazy questions?
00:39:21I'm just saying, save some shit for yourself, you know?
00:39:24Let it happen
00:39:25You go to a diner, you eat some food, talk about the food, you know?
00:39:29You go out and take your shit, talk about the shit
00:39:32That's where the shit the shit comes from, by the way
00:39:34I'm just tired of putting myself out there
00:39:36I'm tired of being clear and honest
00:39:39And she didn't give anything back, you know?
00:39:41And she'll say, oh, I broke up with my boyfriend for you
00:39:43And I want to tell her, hey, you know what?
00:39:45We were fucking before you did it
00:39:48Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa
00:39:49No, you never do that
00:39:50You never, ever, ever use that against her
00:39:52Ever
00:39:53Why? It's fucking true
00:39:54One thing you never do, that's one thing everyone knows
00:39:56You never use a woman's indiscretions against her
00:39:58Ever
00:39:59You know?
00:40:00You never buy a youth card from a friend
00:40:02You never ask a pediatric surgeon that was day-winning
00:40:04Wait, who said that?
00:40:06I said that
00:40:08You said that?
00:40:09I said that, I'm fucking funny
00:40:10What took you so long?
00:40:11Let me get that out
00:40:16Hey, alright
00:40:17Oh no
00:40:18This room's supposed to be blue
00:40:22How's it going?
00:40:24It's good, how's it going in here?
00:40:25Good, good, smooth sailing
00:40:27Alright, good to hear
00:40:33Alright, I'm going out for like an hour
00:40:35Do you guys need anything from me, or?
00:40:37No, I'm getting this
00:40:38Winning a lotto ticket would be great
00:40:41Yeah, alright
00:40:42I'll see what I can do
00:40:43Be safe
00:40:45I am
00:40:51Make sure you tell all the annoyed motorists we said what's up
00:40:56Right?
00:40:57There's the one form of exercise that puts yourself into other people's lives
00:41:00Right?
00:41:01Like I get it
00:41:02You know, you buy some clothes
00:41:03Boom, it's a hobby
00:41:04Because you invest a little bit of money
00:41:06But know this
00:41:06You are fucking annoyed
00:41:08You're basically forcing your shit into other people's lives
00:41:11And no one, no one invited you
00:41:13Know that
00:41:14You know what doesn't bother me though?
00:41:16Is a Mexican going to work
00:41:17Yeah, sure
00:41:18God bless them
00:41:19They're absolutely leisurely on the sidewalk
00:41:21It's the over the hill middle aged spandex burrito motherfuckers that get me
00:41:27Spandex burrito
00:41:28Yeah, it's because they look like a burrito made in a spandex
00:41:30I get it
00:41:32Alright
00:42:06Tiny dancer
00:42:07I don't really thank you for a dancing guy man
00:42:09I fucking hate dancing man
00:42:11You do
00:42:13You know what I also fucking hate?
00:42:14What?
00:42:15The beach
00:42:16We went to Florida for our last vacation
00:42:18It's one huge beach
00:42:19It was awful
00:42:21You know what I also hate?
00:42:22At what?
00:42:23Rollercoasters
00:42:25Went to Six Flags for my birthday
00:42:28That's alright
00:42:28I like doing stuff with her
00:42:29I'll dance with her
00:42:33She taught me
00:42:34The guy sitting down
00:42:35Is never going to get the girl to dance with her
00:42:38That's the smartest thing that anyone has ever said to me
00:42:42I should consider it
00:42:44I will
00:42:44Thank you
00:42:45Right now
00:43:12For real?
00:43:29Thank
00:43:29you Thank
00:43:35you
00:44:05Oh my god, you're so little.
00:44:06I feel it.
00:44:21Yeah, I'm really pretty.
00:44:25I really like it when you're here.
00:44:36Listen, it takes less than five minutes to get there.
00:44:38I promise.
00:44:39I've done it like a hundred times.
00:44:40You're fine on time.
00:44:41Do you have an extra train schedule, please?
00:44:43No, but there's a big one man on the outside of the wall at the train station.
00:44:46Don't say that on no good for you.
00:44:48I had fun.
00:44:49They come off on this time of day.
00:44:51What side of the tracks do I need to be on?
00:44:52Other side.
00:44:52Hey.
00:44:54Who's breath?
00:44:55Bye.
00:44:56Bye.
00:44:57Bye.
00:45:11Bye.
00:45:13Bye.
00:45:16Bye.
00:45:18Bye.
00:45:26Bye.
00:45:30Bye.
00:45:31Bye.
00:45:33Bye.
00:45:34Bye.
00:45:37Bye.
00:45:37Bye.
00:45:39Bye.
00:45:40Bye.
00:45:40Bye.
00:45:43Bye.
00:45:55That's the most important one.
00:45:56That one?
00:45:57Yeah.
00:46:07Yeah, keep smiling, you fucking moron.
00:46:16Hey, I can't sit here, I can't sit.
00:46:17Would you relax?
00:46:19Jesus, you know what, you fucking relax.
00:46:21Jesus Christ.
00:46:22All right, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, I'm sorry.
00:46:27Let's just all agree we want to murder the shit out of that guy and just move on.
00:47:01I just thought it was hilarious.
00:47:03Hey, there's my buddy.
00:47:04That's your home team.
00:47:10What do you say?
00:47:11I personally know that we leave now, so we're going to have to see this big bag and start celebrating.
00:47:15But if we have to listen to this asshole, asshole, I don't know.
00:47:19This is an angry elf, this is a very angry elf.
00:47:24Angry, very angry elf.
00:47:26Yes.
00:47:28Angry, angry elf?
00:47:30Angry elf.
00:47:31This is wasting carriers.
00:47:33I don't think.
00:47:34I don't know.
00:47:36I don't know.
00:47:36I don't know.
00:47:38I don't know.
00:47:39I don't know.
00:47:40Okay, here we go.
00:47:41Is anybody here a member of our wing ring?
00:47:43We get an email twice a month with special offers, discounts, goings on, any other thing?
00:47:48No.
00:47:48No, we're okay.
00:47:49You want to sign up?
00:47:50The wing ring?
00:47:51Mm-hmm.
00:47:51No, we're okay.
00:47:52Okay.
00:47:53No, wait.
00:47:54Can we take some money?
00:47:55We're not signing up for the wing ring.
00:47:55We're adults.
00:47:56We're not going to join clubs that rhyme.
00:47:58Okay?
00:48:01Mm.
00:48:02A little while back, we were visiting her parents.
00:48:04Do you remember this?
00:48:05We were driving back to our place, and we need to get food for the turtle.
00:48:09So we stopped at this pet store.
00:48:11The pet store we've never been to before.
00:48:12The kid who registers at the register.
00:48:14He's checking us out.
00:48:15He says, do you want to sign up for our saver rager reward discount card or whatever it's called?
00:48:20And I'm like, no, actually, I just want to go home and take a three-hour nap, okay?
00:48:24You know what?
00:48:24And the kid's like, you see this money that's in your hand right now?
00:48:28You could get more money in your hand right now if you sign up for this discount.
00:48:32She's already walking to her car.
00:48:33It doesn't give a fuck, right?
00:48:35The kid's going on and on and on about the benefits, and I'm just like, you know what?
00:48:39Could you just give me the money?
00:48:40Whatever the difference would be if I were to sign up for your stupid fucking membership,
00:48:43could you just put the money in my hand?
00:48:45Every single store has a card.
00:48:47Every single one.
00:48:47It undermines the very notion of membership, okay?
00:48:50Am I supposed to feel allegiance or some sort of special quality if everyone else is doing
00:48:54the same fucking thing?
00:48:55No.
00:48:55I live where I live and the fucking convenient options are limited, so don't patronize me
00:48:59with your bullshit and don't compromise my dignity by having me have 37 fucking plastic
00:49:04cards in my wallet.
00:49:05Chuck, here.
00:49:06Thanks.
00:49:07No one really gives a fuck about this story either.
00:49:10I'm sorry your vagina hurts, Lonnie.
00:49:12I'm really, really sorry, but it bugs me.
00:49:14This shit bugs me.
00:49:15If it bugs you, it bugs me.
00:49:16It fucking bugs me.
00:49:17Everything bugs them, so here you go.
00:49:21Look, I see the world for what it is, okay?
00:49:23And it makes absolutely zero sense to me.
00:49:26That's all I'm saying.
00:49:26That's why I keep you around, honey.
00:49:28No.
00:49:28Because you make sense.
00:49:28You're the one thing that makes sense in this world.
00:49:31Let's just pick.
00:49:32Can we go?
00:49:32Yeah, we can go.
00:49:33Let's go.
00:49:33Steve Madden purse that she really liked, and I was like, I'll get it for you.
00:49:36Don't worry.
00:49:37Went there and gone.
00:49:39Jesus.
00:49:43Have a nice, sweetheart.
00:49:44Oh, oh.
00:49:45Shit.
00:49:46Stop.
00:49:46Stop.
00:49:47No, no, no.
00:49:48Jesus.
00:49:53Get the fuck out of me, man.
00:49:54Get the fuck out of me, man.
00:50:08I'll do that.
00:50:09Let's go.
00:50:16I'll try.
00:50:16I'll come.
00:50:20Just be sure, man.
00:50:20Yeah, man.
00:50:29Let's go.
00:50:32Okay.
00:50:56There you go man, have a good one man, have a good day, see ya.
00:51:12Where the fuck are you?
00:51:15You're late as hell, you know that?
00:51:17Yes sir.
00:51:21You drunk?
00:51:22Yeah, a little bit, but I woke up that way so it's not my fault.
00:51:51Euro?
00:51:54Sure.
00:52:00You know what song I heard recently, realized I hear it all the time?
00:52:03Life is a highway.
00:52:06That is not a good song.
00:52:08That is a very bad song.
00:52:11It's amazing how such a lame metaphor can be so catchy.
00:52:13You know?
00:52:16Love is a flower, I wanna watch it bloom.
00:52:22I just made that up.
00:52:29When was the last time you bought an album?
00:52:33When was the last time you cared that an album was coming out?
00:52:37Hmm?
00:52:37That's the problem.
00:52:38Everything's about the singles now.
00:52:40The hits.
00:52:41Hits.
00:52:42You know?
00:52:43You listen to a song, you like a song, you buy the song, and then people buy it.
00:52:46It becomes a hit.
00:52:47Think about what that does to a young developing musician.
00:52:50To their mind.
00:52:52Think about how it wires that mind.
00:52:54Write a song.
00:52:56Hopefully it's popular.
00:52:57It becomes a hit.
00:52:58Next time, write a song, make a bigger hit.
00:52:59Instead of, write a hundred songs, whittle it down to the best handful of songs, form
00:53:06a bigger idea, figure out a way for that bigger idea to shape who you are as a musician.
00:53:11What are you talking about?
00:53:13I'm talking about what music has withered down to.
00:53:16Which is, old dudes writing shitty songs for slutty young twats who lip-sync those songs
00:53:23in front of twelve-year-old boys who are rolling on oxy.
00:53:26That's what I'm talking about.
00:53:28Instead of, young developing musical minds crafting, crafting music, honing their fucking
00:53:36shit.
00:53:37That's the thing, is that the choruses are way too catchy.
00:53:40That's the problem.
00:53:41In the upskirts, way too easy to find on the internet.
00:53:43They're all over the place.
00:53:45And yeah, maybe I'm talking about the mainstream, but guess what?
00:53:48That's what most people out here get.
00:53:50The popular stuff.
00:53:52It's like, if you kill 99% of the bacteria, the 1% that survives, that 1% germ,
00:53:57it's so much stronger and more resilient than the other germs.
00:54:00And over time, you know what you get?
00:54:03Super germ.
00:54:05Think about that.
00:54:06The timeline expands.
00:54:08It's longer.
00:54:17When was the last time you hummed a song?
00:54:20You know?
00:54:21Remember when we used to hum songs?
00:54:23You'd hum it to your buddies, hopefully one of them would recognize and figure out the
00:54:26tune.
00:54:27Now you can just Google anything in a second.
00:54:30Think about what that does to the human brain.
00:54:33It makes everything so easy.
00:54:34We just shrivel up into these fucking morons.
00:54:38Just shut the fuck up, please.
00:54:43When you're in a bad mood, you just make it everybody's problem, don't you?
00:55:00When did every Asian get good at dancing?
00:55:04Have you noticed that?
00:55:05Every fucking Asian can dance now.
00:55:07When did that happen?
00:55:09You look in the dance floor, this breaking ass, bad driving motherfucker just getting nasty
00:55:13out there.
00:55:14Right?
00:55:15You almost done that.
00:55:17If I shut my mouth for a second, yeah.
00:55:52I think I'm gonna go.
00:55:54Wait, what?
00:55:55I'm just really tired.
00:55:58Okay.
00:55:59You can crash here if you want.
00:56:01No, I'm gonna go home.
00:56:04Okay.
00:56:06Will you do me a favor?
00:56:07Will you text me when you get home and let me know that you got home okay?
00:56:09I won't remember.
00:56:11Alright, fuck it.
00:56:13I'm going.
00:56:14Yep.
00:56:40I'm going.
00:56:42Yep.
00:56:51Stop staring at me, weirdo.
00:56:54I can't help it.
00:56:57I'll try.
00:56:58The creep.
00:57:04Revolution.
00:57:05Best thing ever made.
00:57:06You watched it?
00:57:07So good.
00:57:08I watched the first three episodes.
00:57:10I fell asleep halfway through the fourth.
00:57:11It's incredible.
00:57:12Do you understand that?
00:57:12It's the best thing made by people in the history of everything ever made by anyone.
00:57:15Let's just put it on the list.
00:57:16What is this?
00:57:17It's a TV show she told me about.
00:57:18It's on the list.
00:57:19TV show?
00:57:20Yeah.
00:57:20So good.
00:57:22Why?
00:57:22Why?
00:57:24You know where the world starts out really awesome with the electricity going up and then
00:57:27it just sucks?
00:57:28No.
00:57:29Then never mind.
00:57:33Okay.
00:57:34Ready for work?
00:57:36Bye, Monique.
00:57:38Bye, Monique.
00:57:46That was for you.
00:57:48I was trying to keep the game interesting.
00:57:54Everything alright?
00:57:56It ain't happening.
00:57:58What ain't happening?
00:58:00Come on, man.
00:58:01You know what ain't happening.
00:58:04You look good from here.
00:58:07Fuck it though, right?
00:58:07Fuck it.
00:58:09Fuck it.
00:58:10Am I alright?
00:58:11She ain't coming.
00:58:13You know what?
00:58:14Fuck.
00:58:16I'm sorry, Lonnie.
00:58:18That's cool.
00:58:26No.
00:58:28Let me get another one of these.
00:58:30Hold the ice or else I'll just kill myself.
00:58:32You know?
00:58:34Fuck.
00:58:35Fuck.
00:58:37Fuck.
00:58:37Fuck.
00:58:37Fuck.
00:58:46Fuck.
00:58:50Fuck.
00:58:52Fuck.
00:58:53Hey, Jaywalkers.
00:58:55Hey, motherfucker.
00:58:56You better be across with the light.
00:58:59You gotta get fucked up.
00:59:02No, you do it here.
00:59:08You don't see the sign, man?
00:59:10What's good is you pay the tax on the sign,
00:59:12you're not gonna use it.
00:59:14Oh, shit.
00:59:15Fuck the sign.
00:59:17Fuck the sign.
00:59:18Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
00:59:20What do you mean?
00:59:20What do you mean?
00:59:22Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
00:59:52Okay, I'm gonna run away.
01:00:02And on the front.
01:00:04What do you mean?
01:00:05Really?
01:00:09Let's go.
01:00:15Let's take a moment, Schrouder.
01:00:18I'm gonna make you look good.
01:00:20If you love this
01:00:21I remember when I was the redidge where I was
01:00:21I figured that the black pepper fell.
01:00:22I'm always hungry.
01:00:22I'm coming out.
01:01:12Nice job, asshole.
01:01:14Fucking moron.
01:01:31Oh, shit.
01:01:33Night, Lonnie.
01:01:35Shit, I didn't even drive here.
01:02:04I'm failing to see the point in getting up in the morning.
01:02:08Go on.
01:02:10What I do most days seems pointless because what's it supporting?
01:02:15You know, most days I'm too...
01:02:18I used to look forward to seeing this girl I liked, right?
01:02:26You know what?
01:02:27No.
01:02:32There was this guy that I knew from like a lifetime ago, right?
01:02:37He killed himself.
01:02:39He offed himself on New Year's Eve.
01:02:42Not only did I not really care, but I really wasn't surprised and it made sense to me.
01:02:52Him killing himself or killing oneself in general?
01:02:56Killing oneself in general.
01:02:59You have any idea why he'd do such a thing?
01:03:01Oh, yeah.
01:03:01Because he was way too drunk and way too lonely and I know that feeling.
01:03:07You were about to mention a girl?
01:03:10Yeah.
01:03:13I was kind of seeing this girl that I'm really crazy about.
01:03:17But I don't think anything's gonna happen.
01:03:20No.
01:03:20You know what?
01:03:21Nothing is gonna happen.
01:03:24She doesn't feel the way that I feel.
01:03:25I'm just saying it hurts.
01:03:31Go on.
01:03:34Really, that's it.
01:03:36Before I could look forward to seeing her at least.
01:03:39Even if she just came over and slept, which she did do a couple of times.
01:03:43It was just nice having somebody there with me.
01:03:45I mean, what am I supposed to do now?
01:03:47Get a fucking cat?
01:03:48Sorry.
01:03:50Some sense of community, no matter how small, is what makes life worth living.
01:03:57You ever consider volunteering here at the church?
01:04:00That sounds awful.
01:04:01Why?
01:04:02I don't know.
01:04:03I don't know why I said that either.
01:04:04You sound like an asshole.
01:04:05Shit.
01:04:07Alright, I'm just gonna shut up.
01:04:10Taking the Lord's name in vain is the only cursing that I'm aware of.
01:04:13And you did sound like an asshole.
01:04:17You see why I suggest living your life not just with but for someone is what makes life worth living.
01:04:22Worth getting out of bed in the morning.
01:04:24Someone looking forward to seeing you and you them.
01:04:27I assume you don't attend mass regularly?
01:04:31No, I do not.
01:04:33And a little problem with the cigarettes and booze?
01:04:37Yeah.
01:04:38How'd you know that?
01:04:39I can smell it.
01:04:40Oh, right.
01:04:41Dumb.
01:04:42Is it a problem?
01:04:44Hmm.
01:04:45I'm aware of what I do.
01:04:46I'm trying to make healthier habits.
01:04:49That's why I ask about mass.
01:04:51Any particular reason?
01:04:52Yeah, the girl was kind of a health nut.
01:04:54Any particular reason you don't attend a weekly service?
01:04:58Um, um, I don't know.
01:05:03You know, after my mom died, my sister and I kept going out of respect or something.
01:05:07But my dad, he just wasn't that into it.
01:05:09So, I kind of hit her off.
01:05:14But, I hear what you're saying, Father.
01:05:16It's just, I feel like an idiot, you know?
01:05:21Wanting to live your life with someone feels great, doesn't it?
01:05:27Yeah.
01:05:28Yeah.
01:05:30But who that someone is is not up to you.
01:05:33You think it's this girl.
01:05:36I guess it's not.
01:05:40Just relax.
01:05:42Look around.
01:05:44Pay attention.
01:05:45Take the opportunities when they present themselves.
01:05:48And they will.
01:05:57I feel like I should shake your hand or something.
01:06:00Should I come out there?
01:06:02Is that...
01:06:02Nah, we're good.
01:06:04Well, now I feel awkward.
01:06:06So, what about like one of these up here?
01:06:09You got that?
01:06:10Is...
01:06:10Are we fist bumping?
01:06:12I think we are.
01:06:15Come on.
01:06:15Here you go.
01:06:16Give me a little something, Father.
01:06:16Got it.
01:06:17Got it.
01:06:18Thanks.
01:06:19Thanks for talking with me.
01:06:21My pleasure.
01:06:22What else am I going to do in here?
01:06:23I don't know.
01:06:23You could be playing Angry Birds or something.
01:06:26Yes, I could be.
01:06:28I'm Lonnie, by the way.
01:06:30Nice to meet you, Lonnie.
01:06:31Yeah, it's nice to meet you too, Father, um...
01:06:33Tony.
01:06:35Huh.
01:06:35Father Tony.
01:06:37Seems like a weird name for a priest.
01:06:39Does it?
01:06:40No.
01:06:40No.
01:06:41And I don't know why I said that either.
01:06:43It's a first.
01:06:45I'm just trying to keep you on your toes.
01:06:47You take care of yourself, Lonnie.
01:06:49I will.
01:06:50Thanks again, Father.
01:06:51I haven't done anything, Lonnie.
01:06:55Hey, hey!
01:06:56You think?
01:06:56Or 10,000.
01:06:58Let's go.
01:07:03You bet I tout do as aesian train.
01:07:04Very big.
01:07:09That's very RFP.
01:07:10How's your child?
01:07:14Tell us.
01:07:18I don't know where your child is needed.
01:07:22Hey, hey, how's everybody?
01:07:24Hey, hey, guys.
01:07:25Hi.
01:07:25What's up, Calzone?
01:07:28Needs to come, plug it in, keep it in.
01:07:34They don't have any good stuff.
01:07:36How can I see you?
01:07:37There's a screamer in the room.
01:07:39What's going on, bud?
01:07:40Hey, how you doing?
01:07:41How come we don't see that Brian guy?
01:07:43Because we broke up.
01:07:44There's a screamer in the fridge.
01:07:45Oh, well, I guess that would explain it.
01:07:49I'm hearing about how good it is without time.
01:07:52This is Brock's first-ever Freddy's Pizza.
01:07:54Wait, you've never taken that before?
01:07:56I've never gotten around to it.
01:07:57You got the Jardine?
01:07:58Nice to meet you.
01:07:59You too.
01:08:00What did you say?
01:08:01You got the what?
01:08:01I was going to bust your balls.
01:08:03You never had Jardine or Bean.
01:08:04You know what it is?
01:08:05You're too tall.
01:08:05I can't bust your balls.
01:08:06Celery.
01:08:07Too tall to tease.
01:08:08Wait, you've never had Jardine before?
01:08:10No, Florida.
01:08:11That's weird.
01:08:12You just doesn't get out with it.
01:08:13I was born in Michigan.
01:08:14It's a bad answer to any questions.
01:08:16No.
01:08:17Go ahead.
01:08:18Go ahead.
01:08:19Go straight in?
01:08:20Yep.
01:08:22It's amazing.
01:08:23I love it.
01:08:24Hey, I'll get you a jar.
01:08:26I'll give you this jar.
01:08:27She looks dirty.
01:08:28She looks dirty.
01:08:31I like that.
01:08:34That's nice.
01:08:35And, you know, Connie Chung.
01:08:37In her day.
01:08:39Yeah, I don't know when do you look good.
01:08:44She's not Connie Chung.
01:08:45Ah, yeah, I was just going to say Connie Chung.
01:08:48No, I don't know when you wish you could do it.
01:08:50Like a poor baby.
01:08:53Same story over and over again.
01:08:58Don't leave the change of pants.
01:09:00It's probably not part of the day.
01:09:02I've told you, like, 15 times.
01:09:04Wait, I thought you were kidding, though.
01:09:05No, I kept telling you.
01:09:07Wait, you're seriously a fucking private investigator?
01:09:10Yeah.
01:09:10Seriously?
01:09:11Seriously.
01:09:12Is your name on your door?
01:09:14I mean, the company name is on the door.
01:09:16There's a couple of us at work there.
01:09:18You carry a gun.
01:09:19I have once.
01:09:20Have you ever showed up to a crime scene and a cop's been like,
01:09:23Beat it, Brock.
01:09:24This crime scene's for real cops.
01:09:26You don't have to answer that because that question is retarded.
01:09:30I'm so sorry.
01:09:32What?
01:09:32No, that's not.
01:09:33Doesn't that happen?
01:09:34No, I'm very sorry to overload you with questions.
01:09:38I'm very sorry.
01:09:39Fine.
01:09:40I mean, it's a lot of surveillance.
01:09:42You know, you're serving people.
01:09:44You serve people papers.
01:09:45So you go up to someone and you say, oh, hey, you're so-and-so.
01:09:49Well, guess what you've been served?
01:09:51What?
01:09:52Some iteration of that.
01:09:54Okay, like what?
01:09:54I mean, okay, so the other day I pulled up to this, you know,
01:09:57I mean, I pulled up to this guy's place, like, 600-pound black guy
01:10:00and 10 of his best friends sitting on the stoop bullshitting.
01:10:04Yeah, how did you know it was like a basketball game?
01:10:06You know, in that case, I call back to the office.
01:10:09There's absolutely no way I walk into that yard.
01:10:11What if that was me and you?
01:10:13What if we didn't?
01:10:15Hey, what's so funny?
01:10:16Really, Dad?
01:10:17What's so funny?
01:10:18I know I look like a pussy.
01:10:20I know I look like a pussy.
01:10:21But I'm strong as shit.
01:10:22I can totally prove it.
01:10:24You're a pussy.
01:10:24Wow.
01:10:25I'm being straight, though.
01:10:26What if one day I tagged along with you?
01:10:28Can we do that?
01:10:29Don't encourage him.
01:10:30I mean, you don't have to.
01:10:32No, I want to go.
01:10:33I want to go.
01:10:34I want to go.
01:10:35Can I come with you?
01:10:36Absolutely.
01:10:36For real.
01:10:37Are you serious?
01:10:39Do I look like I'm kidding?
01:10:40All right.
01:10:41I don't see why not.
01:10:42For real.
01:10:42For real.
01:10:43If you're serious, I'm serious, buddy.
01:10:45I'm serious.
01:10:46Let's do it.
01:10:47That's awesome.
01:10:48You really, yeah.
01:10:49You really want to.
01:10:50I do really want to.
01:10:51This guy's welcome anytime.
01:10:53Successfully.
01:10:54Into my house.
01:10:55Comes into my house, he's welcome you.
01:10:59I don't know any other names.
01:11:01But they do the news in bikinis, I think.
01:11:03It's like, it's like,
01:11:07how do you know they're doing the news?
01:11:09I don't speak the language, but I'm like,
01:11:14transfix.
01:11:15It's absolutely transfix.
01:11:16I don't know any other names, but I don't know any other names, but I don't know any other names,
01:11:24but I don't know any other names, but I don't know any other names, but I don't know any other
01:11:24names, but I don't know any other names, but I don't know any other names, but I don't know any
01:11:24other names, but I don't know any other names, but I don't know any other names, but I don't know
01:11:24any other names, but I don't know any other names, but I don't know any other names, but I don't
01:11:25know any other names, but I don't know any other names, but I don't know any other names, but I
01:11:26don't know any other names, but I don't know any other names, but I don't know any other names, but
01:11:30I don't know any other names, but I don't know any other names, but I don't know any other names,
01:11:38but I don't know any other names, but I don't know any
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