00:00The End
00:00The End
00:00The End
00:12The End
00:12The End
00:15The End
00:16The End
00:19The End
00:21Oh my god, tear it off.
00:23It's Saturday, I'm still recovering till last week.
00:27God, stop, I have work to do.
00:29You have a date with that hot athletic guy to do.
00:37This is new.
00:38Okay, scoot over.
00:39Look how much room is on your side.
00:42Oh, you called it my side.
00:44Okay, that's it.
00:50Let's go.
00:51Let's go.
00:52I'm pushing you out of the nest.
00:53It's 7 a.m.
00:54Time to fly.
00:55I'm still sleeping.
00:56I'm still sleeping.
00:57What are you doing?
00:58Are you insane?
01:08Morning.
01:09It's noon.
01:10Ugh.
01:11I couldn't sleep.
01:12Your bed is so much more comfortable than mine.
01:14Well, I'll get you a mattress then, Mom.
01:15Why?
01:15You don't like cuddling with me?
01:17I'm 35 and I live with my mother.
01:18I've gotta draw the line somewhere.
01:20I'm interested.
01:21I haven't slept alone since your dad died and I-
01:24Hey, stop, Mom.
01:24Don't use dad guilt on me.
01:25Please.
01:26Well, it's true.
01:27Look, you literally do nothing on your own.
01:30You're young and totally capable of taking care of yourself.
01:34I am young.
01:35Exactly.
01:36Take baby steps.
01:38Go out and do something alone.
01:39Like go to dinner or the movies or something.
01:42Just to see that it's not so bad.
01:43Feel some independence.
01:44You might like it.
01:46I don't have money for stuff like that.
01:49What do you do with the allowance that I give you?
01:50Who can live off $200 a week?
01:53You don't have any bills.
01:56What?
01:57Really?
01:59What are you doing tonight?
02:01You wanna come over and watch a movie?
02:02Ugh, I can't.
02:04I promised Jim I'd stay home and watch some documentary on war or something.
02:06Well, wouldn't you rather hang out with me?
02:08Yeah, but I can't.
02:10At least you have the place to yourself tonight though.
02:12Right?
02:12Finally get Olivia out of your hair.
02:14She told me that I should go out to dinner by myself.
02:18What does that even mean?
02:19I don't know.
02:20Something about being independent.
02:23Please.
02:23You're the definition of codependency.
02:26Just need to find you a good husband and you'll be fine.
02:29Okay.
02:31One last sprint.
02:42I am so excited to get you out.
02:46Oh, Abby just switched to pureed food and puked on me before I left.
02:49So sorry if I smell like ass.
02:51Is that salami on a piece of bread?
02:52Yeah.
02:53Wanna bite?
02:54I would destroy that.
02:56But I'm off carbs.
02:57That's why I've been so moody.
02:58Look, you're a crazy person.
02:59You're tiny.
03:00Yeah, thanks to these.
03:02You wear Spanx under your workout clothes?
03:04Um, I wear Spanx under everything.
03:06Okay.
03:07What are you gonna wear?
03:09Mom, bring some of your dresses.
03:12Oh my God.
03:13How many pantsuits can one person on?
03:15I mean, really.
03:16Can't see.
03:17I am coming.
03:18Alright.
03:23What?
03:24I'm sorry.
03:25Do you want to sleep with him or do you want to put him to sleep?
03:27Well, it's casual.
03:29Like...
03:30Was I not clear that I was making fun of you with the pantsuits?
03:32What?
03:33This is Ann Taylor.
03:33I get compliments on this all the time.
03:35Okay.
03:36I mean, you look like you're going to an insurance conference.
03:38In Utah.
03:39I mean, what are those shoes?
03:40What?
03:40They're heels.
03:41Those are not heels.
03:42They're an inch off the floor.
03:44Yeah.
03:44I never understood what a kitten heel is.
03:46Just try on some of Mom's dresses.
03:47You know, for fun.
03:48Oh God.
03:49Come on.
03:50Go, go, go.
03:51Those are not heels.
03:51Those aren't even kind of heels.
03:53Oh my God, Mom.
03:54How do you fit in this?
03:55You just have to break it in.
03:57Uncle man, it's gonna look great.
03:58No way.
03:59This is ridiculous.
04:00My Aunt Taylor's suit is dressy.
04:02Can we just see it, please?
04:04Okay.
04:04It's amazing!
04:06I'm obviously not gonna wear this.
04:07Oh, come on.
04:08No, it's fucking...
04:09It's too tight.
04:10No, it looks great.
04:14What?
04:14What's going on there?
04:16Oh.
04:17I haven't had a chance to wax.
04:19It's fine.
04:19You're gonna go on a date like that?
04:21I'm not gonna sleep with him, Mom.
04:22But if I'm gonna go with 252 guys, I gotta be picky, okay?
04:25Well, if I were you, I would just shave it.
04:28All of it.
04:29I mean, guys like it bald now, you know?
04:31Mine is as bald as a baby's butt.
04:33Okay.
04:33Ew, Mom.
04:34Now I'm picturing it.
04:35You know what?
04:35I say you just keep it.
04:36That way you know you're not gonna sleep with him.
04:37I'm not gonna sleep with him!
04:39I'm just saying.
04:39If you have a few drinks, your decision-making gets sloppy.
04:42You're definitely not gonna let anyone down there with all that nasty.
04:46It's like a nasty belt.
04:48What?
04:49I just came up with that right now.
04:51Boop.
04:52I am not hooking up with this dude, okay?
04:54He is 26 years old, and he's wearing frickin' five-toed shoes.
04:57I told you that's fixable.
04:58No.
04:59Besides, just think of it as a practice date.
05:01You're gonna be rusty.
05:02You need someone to work out the first date kinks with.
05:04Now, you are definitely gonna fuck this guy.
05:06What mom encourages her daughter to sleep with her first date?
05:09A very evolved mom.
05:11Okay, I'm wearing this.
05:12It's casual, but I'll add my ankle booties to dress it up.
05:15I can bend over, and you don't see my underwear.
05:17My arms don't look fat with these sleeves, and it doesn't show wet spots if I sweat,
05:21which I will, because I'm really frickin' nervous.
05:24It looks super cute on you.
05:25Thanks.
05:26This is going to be my first date outfit now,
05:28so we don't have to do this ever again.
05:30We turn off the notifications on my Tinder.
05:32It's, like, keeping me up at night.
05:34Jane, what time is it?
05:35Seven.
05:35Oh, fuck, I gotta go.
05:40I can't get these out.
05:42I have to go.
05:42Okay, take a breath.
05:52Okay, thank you.
05:52Oh, my God.
05:53Oh, my.
05:55Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, my...
05:58Evening, Miss.
05:59Hi.
06:07Hi.
06:08I'm Olivia.
06:09Oh, hey.
06:10Nice to meet you.
06:11Griffin.
06:12You rode your bike.
06:13I'm always trying to squeeze an electrocardio into my day.
06:21You, uh, ready to go outside?
06:32Yeah.
06:44Can I help you?
06:46I'm just waiting for a friend.
06:48She got a flat tire, so I'm just gonna wait.
06:52I can seat you while you wait.
06:53Maybe get an appetizer?
06:55Oh, sure.
07:06Can you show her your meal?
07:07Thanks.
07:11I mean, we were born without shoes on, so it makes total sense to have the toes separated.
07:17I never take these things off.
07:19Never?
07:20Not once.
07:21Wow.
07:23Cool.
07:26Well, we've been talking all night about what I like to do.
07:29What do you like to do for fun?
07:31For fun?
07:32Yeah.
07:34All kinds of stuff.
07:36Um, I work in insurance.
07:39I pay so much liability insurance because of my business.
07:43Yeah.
07:44I mean, I don't just work in insurance.
07:46That sounds boring.
07:47I'm actually really close to becoming a member of the seven-figure roundtable.
07:50It's like a really big deal in my industry.
07:52It's gonna help when I start my own business.
07:54So.
07:55I totally get that.
07:56Yeah?
07:57I got first in the suicide sprint at the CrossFit Games last year.
08:0019th overall.
08:01And I got this flash.
08:04I could just see it.
08:06Griffin Fitness Enterprises International.
08:09That's the name of my business.
08:10Oh, what?
08:11Personal trainer.
08:12Oh.
08:12You just gotta get your head in the right place, you know?
08:15You already own your own business.
08:18Picture yourself behind that desk.
08:20And that's what I did.
08:21Look where I am now.
08:25You should totally come in for a training session on me.
08:29Oh, yeah. No, I'm not really a gym person.
08:31No, you have a really great frame.
08:34Ready to order?
08:35Yes.
08:36Yeah.
08:37Um, I'm gonna have a vodka cranberry.
08:39Okay.
08:39And then I'll just have the cheeseburger.
08:42Meanwhile, please.
08:43Okay.
08:43And I will have your cleanest grain alcohol.
08:46Okay.
08:47And I will do the white fish cooked with no oil, no sauce, and a side of steamed veggies,
08:53please.
08:54Okay.
08:57Oh, and you know what?
08:58I will not be needing this.
09:01I don't, I don't need this either.
09:04No bun on my burger, too.
09:06Buns.
09:07Yeah.
09:08Just on like salad or something.
09:09Protein style.
09:10Yeah, protein style.
09:11I like it.
09:12I usually don't have bun.
09:14But you know what?
09:15Mixers, they ruin a drink.
09:17Just empty calories.
09:18You know, you should follow me.
09:20I give daily lessons for free.
09:21Totally.
09:23That'd be good.
09:23Yeah, yeah.
09:24Let me see your phone.
09:26Right now?
09:26You wanna see my phone?
09:27Yeah, yeah, I'll just, I'll type it in.
09:31Okay, um...
09:31You're gonna love it.
09:32Cool.
09:34Go.
09:35Okay.
09:37The grifster.
09:39Alright, there.
09:40You're following me.
09:42I almost have 500 followers.
09:44Wow.
09:44Oh, wow.
09:45You only have six.
09:47Oh.
09:48I'm gonna follow you back, okay?
09:49Social media is everything.
09:51Now, you really wanna up your game on here
09:53if you wanna start your own business.
09:54And I can totally help you.
09:55Oh, cool.
09:57That's, um...
09:59You know, I'm just gonna use the bathroom really quickly.
10:01But this is...
10:02This is great.
10:04You're welcome.
10:10Oh, my God.
10:12How's it going with the hottie?
10:13Tell me everything.
10:14Oh, God.
10:15I wanna go home, Jane.
10:16Why?
10:17He was so cute.
10:18Correction, he's gorgeous.
10:20He just won't shut up.
10:21All he talks about are fucking deadlifts and kettlebells.
10:25He's a personal trainer trying to give me advice
10:26on how to start my own business.
10:27I can't take it.
10:28Okay, remember, it's a practice day just to get your feet wet.
10:31Don't take it so seriously.
10:32Oh, but he is so pretty.
10:34I mean, he put his hand on my back when we walked in
10:36and I literally shuddered.
10:37Like an electric jolt going up my spine.
10:40Whenever he reaches for anything, I can't help but stare at his arms.
10:43If he touches me at all, I am done.
10:48God, I just wanna, like, make out or something.
10:51I mean, I haven't made out in so fucking long, Jane.
10:53Okay, you realize you just did a full 180 on this guy
10:56in the time it took you to pee?
10:57It's so fucking hot.
10:58I just wish he'd stop talking.
11:00Well, he can't talk with your tongue down his throat.
11:02True, true, true. I like that idea.
11:07Oh, I loved the make out phase when Jim and I first started dating.
11:11You guys don't make out anymore?
11:12No, we do.
11:13Well, we kiss.
11:15I don't really make out, no.
11:17Oh shit, I gotta go.
11:19I don't want him to think I'm pooping.
11:20Happy making out.
11:21Alright, go make out with your husband.
11:55Hey.
11:57Oh, hey.
11:59Perfect timing.
12:00Just finished.
12:03All you, babe.
12:08Why's it so dark in here?
12:19Waiting for one more?
12:21I was, but my friend, she got a flat tire.
12:24She drives a Prius.
12:26They have the worst tires, you know?
12:28Yeah.
12:29You know, it may just be me.
12:31Unless she comes later, but I'm not holding my breath.
12:36Okay, I'll just take this out of the way.
12:38Can I get you anything to drink?
12:40Uh, kettle one martini, please.
12:42We were supposed to go out.
12:43That's why I'm wearing this dress.
12:47Okay, I like your dress.
12:49Be right back with your martini.
12:56Oh, here.
12:57Let me...
12:58Oh, thank you.
13:01That's okay.
13:11Did you want me to give you a ride?
13:13Cause I think, I think your bike could probably fit in my trunk.
13:16Of my car.
13:17It could fit your bike in my car.
13:19Yeah, yeah, yeah.
13:20That'd be great.
13:21Yeah, you know what?
13:22I've already hit my daily goal, so...
13:23Oh.
13:24Let me go take my tire off my bike and meet you outside.
13:26Okay.
13:28Okay.
13:28I'll be down.
13:40Okay.
13:42Okay.
13:43Okay.
13:49Okay, I'll be back in the night.
13:51I'll be back in the night.
13:51That's why I can't sit down, okay?
13:52Okay.
13:53I'm gonna keep your arms away.
13:55Okay.
13:55Okay.
13:58I'm gonna keep your arms away.
14:19Hey.
14:23What?
14:25Hey.
14:25My mom used to make out all the time.
14:31What?
14:32You know, whoever's dating.
14:36Remember being in the car.
14:40Yeah.
14:43You woke me up to ask me that?
14:46No.
14:48I just...
14:50I don't know what to make out again.
14:54Like we used to.
14:58Right now?
14:59Yeah.
15:00Okay.
15:02Okay.
15:04Well, let me go brush my teeth.
15:06I think I was open mouth breathing.
15:07Okay, you were, but it wasn't that bad.
15:09Oh, it's okay.
15:11Okay.
15:12Just do a quick brush.
15:13Okay, come back.
15:16Okay.
15:27What if we went out to the car?
15:30To make out?
15:31Yeah.
15:32You know?
15:33Like we used to in front of my parents' house.
15:35That was so hot.
15:36We can't leave.
15:38Abby's sleeping.
15:41Let's take the monitor.
15:43Come on.
15:44Let's go.
15:45Bye.
15:54Bye.
15:58Bye.
16:03Bye.
16:06Bye.
16:09Did you get the pasta?
16:13everybody raves about the pasta here that's what the waiter said to get something it's smart of
16:17you to listen because I got the steak and I gotta tell you it's not great you meeting someone my
16:29friend she she got a flat tire and we were supposed to go out afterwards I am wearing a dress
16:37well you look stunning really stunning and don't let your friends stop me from going out because
16:45I think you probably make new friends wherever you go hey you're right to hell with her it kind
16:58of feels like we're already eating together would you care to join me come on you seem really sweet
17:05but I'm going to be honest with you I I'm not waiting for my friend I I just said that
17:10because
17:11well I'm I'm trying to eat by myself because my daughter she doesn't think I'm independent
17:16but thank you really it was nice to talk well I think you're doing just great and
17:24I will let you alone and leave you to it
17:48thanks for the ride oh yeah no problem I had a lot of fun tonight me too
17:55yeah I got I gotta get you to come to a training session you just you're so
18:08do you want to come up
18:13look I'm not sleeping with you okay okay
18:18but um we could go up and make out you want to do that
18:41do we still listen to music I don't know
18:56oh my god this is really hot are you crossfitting me right now
19:00okay
19:04oh wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait
19:05if you're on your period that's okay I've got dark sheets under here
19:09no no I'm not on my period but I just I just I thought we're just gonna make out
19:13you know
19:14yeah okay we can do anything
19:18you're gonna go on a date like that it's like a now study belt
19:23okay you
19:25you wouldn't care if I was on my period
19:27no
19:29really
19:32okay
19:34I'm not I'm not I'm not I'll make you
19:36I'm not there anyway
19:49you you really don't have any hair on your whole body
19:52lasered it all before the crossfait games last year
19:55prevents chafing I have got to get you to my gym you're gonna look so small
20:12okay
20:13yeah
20:15gene we have an entire house to make out in and we're sitting in our car
20:19in the garage and the baby monitors beeping this is silly
20:33Come on, let's go inside.
20:49This is so cool. I've never seen a hairy pussy in real life before.
20:52I've only seen him in my dad's old playbook.
20:53Shut up! Shut up!
21:23...
21:25...
21:30...
21:31Oh, my God.
22:01Oh, my God.
22:33Hey, I found the pube.
22:38S-O-S, pull up to the corner and wait.
22:53S-O-S, pull up to the corner and wait.
23:21Hey, Mom.
23:22Hey, how was your date?
23:26What are you doing?
23:27Watching a lifetime movie.
23:29Babysitter's batshit crazy.
23:33Can I watch with you for a second?
23:35Of course.
23:46God, your bed is so uncomfortable.
23:48I told you.
23:53Oh, my God.
23:59I think I waited too long to get into all this.
24:02I have no idea what I'm doing, and apparently I'm old.
24:07If that's the case, we're both fucked.
24:12You just have to keep going.
24:15You have a lot of options on there, and any guy would be lucky to have you.
24:27Why is there a wet spot under my butt?
24:33Mom!
24:34Ew!
24:35Mom!
24:36What?
24:37I was doing what you told me to, baby steps.
24:42I guess we're sleeping in your room tonight.
24:45Subscribe to YouTube Premium and binge all of Sideswiped to see what happens next.
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