00:00and now from new york the jerry langford show with jerry's guests tony randall
00:25richard drafus rodney dangerfield dr joyce brothers little brown in the orchestra
00:32and little old me and hurley and now say hello to jerry
01:01thank you very much a pleasant good evening to you you look like a great audience louie
01:05how are you lou brown ladies and gentlemen and the marvelous franklin
01:12uh and ed how are you tonight very well jerry wonderful i'm sorry i woke you
01:18i shall adhere to your request sir
01:47i'm not going to give you anything else
01:48i just don't feel like wasting my time going there by myself together
01:51i am really good hello rupert hey rupert who'd you get nobody i got ronnie dangerfield richard harris
01:57i traded for barbara this way can you tell me thank you alan ola robin williams i give you
02:01all you want sydney i'm really not that interested it's not my whole life what's that supposed to
02:05mean that's my whole life mayor sydney's it's not my whole life that's not my whole life that's right
02:38it's yours
02:39No! No!
02:49Stop shoving, Ricky.
02:51We're just sorry, Bushy.
02:56I'm not there, take the game! No! No!
03:17I'm gonna love you
03:20Like no one's loved you
03:24Come rain or come shine
03:32High as a mountain
03:36Deep as a river
03:39Come rain or come shine
03:48I guess
03:49When you met me
03:56It was just
03:57One of those things
04:04But don't ever bet me
04:09Cause I'm gonna be true
04:12Well, if you let me
04:20You're gonna love me
04:24Like nobody's loved me
04:26Come rain or come shine
04:29Come rain or come shine
04:59We're in our yard of the money
05:04Yeah
05:04Yeah
05:07I'm with you always
05:12I'm with you, Ray
05:16I'm with you, Ray
05:18Washing
05:19Washing
05:19Yeah
05:24Yeah
05:25No
05:33No
05:35No
05:35No
05:37Please come on!
05:42OK! Stand up! Stand up!
05:50Please, Mr. Langford, just to the end!
05:53Stand up! Stand up!
05:57Back up!
05:59Did you get my message? Did you get my message?
06:02I gave it.
06:13Come on, people.
06:14Jerry, I'm sorry.
06:15I don't mean to disturb you.
06:16I don't want to take up any of your time.
06:17I just want to talk to you for a minute.
06:18I just need your advice.
06:19Hey, this is not the time.
06:20If we could just drive away, I'll...
06:22You could drop me off anywhere.
06:23If I could just talk to you, I would drive.
06:24Drive away? No.
06:25I have a very strict rule about people getting in the car.
06:28I hate to put myself as the knife.
06:29I don't mean to be rude, but I did put myself on a knife.
06:33Go ahead, Harvey. Hit it.
06:40Here.
06:45Thanks.
06:47Is that your initials?
06:49Yeah.
06:52I just want to tell you, Jerry,
06:53my name is Rupert Pupkin,
06:55and I know the name doesn't mean very much to you,
06:57but it means an awful lot to me.
07:02Billy, calm down.
07:04Calm down. Take your time.
07:07You might have wondered who I am.
07:08I've been outside your show many, many times,
07:11and, well,
07:12you know, I'm in communications right now,
07:14but by nature, and this is the point I'm trying to make,
07:16by nature, I'm a comedian, you know?
07:17No, no, I know what you're gonna say.
07:20But believe me, Jerry, I'm very good.
07:21I'm really good. I'm dynamite.
07:23I wouldn't go through this.
07:24I wouldn't take one minute of your time
07:25if I wasn't absolutely convinced that I'm dynamite.
07:27I said, you're probably wondering now,
07:28yeah, if he's so good, then how come he hasn't caught my act somewhere, right?
07:31Well, that's a very good question, and I'm willing to answer it,
07:33and I'll tell you why. You know why?
07:35See, up to now, I've been biding my time slowly and carefully,
07:39slowly and carefully, so that when my big break finally came,
07:41you know, like the night you were with Jack Pa,
07:43when Jack Pa got sick, your big break?
07:45That was the night that convinced me that I wanted to be a comedian.
07:48I walked out of that show like I was in a dream, you know?
07:51And then after that, I started catching all your guest appearances on Sullivan.
07:54I studied everything that you ever did.
07:56I studied the way you built your one-liners nice and relaxed,
07:59how you delivered the jokes without leaning too much on them,
08:02how you didn't say, hey, folks, here's the punchline.
08:05You know? You know, Jerry? You know what I'm talking about?
08:07You don't say, folks, here's the punchline. You just do the punchline.
08:12Exactly. That's what I loved about what you did.
08:14So what I'm trying to say is that, you see, now I'm ready.
08:18I'm ready, and I've finished the course.
08:20And I'm thinking as I'm sitting here now,
08:23well, maybe this is my big break. This is my big chance.
08:26You know what I mean?
08:29What do you think?
08:35Look, what did you say your name was?
08:36Rupert. My name is Rupert Popkin.
08:37All right, look, pal.
08:39I've got to tell you, this is a crazy business,
08:42but it's not unlike any other business.
08:44There are ground rules.
08:45And you don't just walk on to a network show without experience.
08:49Now, I know it's an old hackneyed expression,
08:51but it happens to be the truth.
08:53You've got to start at the bottom.
08:54I know. That's where I am, at the bottom.
08:56Well, that's a perfect place to start.
08:58I know that, but I'm not...
09:00There's got to be a...
09:01It looks so simple to the viewer at home.
09:04Yeah, yeah.
09:04Those things that come so easily, that are so relaxed,
09:07and look like it's a matter of just taking another breath.
09:10It takes years and years and years of honing that and working it.
09:14There's only one problem, though. I don't mean to interrupt you,
09:17but there's only one problem. I'm 34 years old.
09:18That's why I'm asking if you just listen to...
09:20I'm asking if you listen to my act, that's all.
09:22If you listen to my act, then tell me what you think about it.
09:24I'll tell you what.
09:26Why don't you call my office?
09:27All right, okay.
09:28I could do...
09:28You ask for Cathy Long.
09:30Terrific.
09:30She's my secretary.
09:31And we'll make time to listen to what you're talking about.
09:34Uh...
09:35You know how many times I had this conversation in my head?
09:37This is beautiful.
09:37Did it always turn out this way?
09:39Yeah, it did.
09:42I really believe this.
09:43I think once you get over the initial shyness,
09:45you're gonna be okay.
09:46Yeah?
09:47Yeah.
09:49Hope it works out for you.
09:51Thanks, Jerry.
09:51Thanks a lot.
09:53It's a pleasure meeting you, Jerry.
09:55Jerry.
09:57I'm a little short on cash,
09:58but if you don't mind just appetizers,
10:00I'd love to take you to dinner sometime.
10:01Well, I got some people waiting for me.
10:03I really don't know what my schedule is.
10:04Maybe we can.
10:05Okay.
10:05Thanks, Jerry. Thanks.
10:07Jerry.
10:08Jerry.
10:09Let me show you a picture of my pride and joy.
10:14That's good.
10:15That's good, isn't it?
10:15Yeah, it is.
10:16That's good.
10:17Hey, Jerry, take it.
10:19Take it.
10:20Go ahead, take it.
10:21Consider it a gift.
10:22It'll work for you.
10:25I will.
10:26Not that you need the help.
10:28Jerry.
10:29Seriously.
10:29You ever want lunch?
10:30My treat.
10:33Call my office.
10:34Okay, okay, okay.
10:35Okay.
10:37Jerry, you're a prince.
10:52Hey, Ru, before I forget, I really appreciate you meeting me for lunch.
10:57Yes.
10:57I know how busy you are and how tired you are.
11:01What are friends for, Jerry?
11:07Talking about schedule, you're the one who looks tired.
11:09Yeah, I know.
11:10It's the show.
11:13The pressure, the ratings.
11:15Same guests.
11:17Same questions.
11:20I'm just not enjoying it anymore.
11:22That's the worst.
11:28Listen up.
11:29I really wish you would think about it again.
11:31Okay?
11:31I'm thinking.
11:33He's starting again.
11:35He's starting up again.
11:36Hey, it's not that big a deal to think.
11:38I'm asking you to just think.
11:39I'm thinking.
11:39You're always telling me to think.
11:41That's all I do is think day and night about it.
11:42How can I not think about it?
11:44I mean, I've been sitting here at lunch with you, which I knew is the reason you invited
11:47me from the first place, and all I'm sitting here and eating for is to get guilty with
11:50you, right?
11:51I'm asking you to take over the show for six weeks.
11:54I mean, what's six weeks?
11:56I'll give you anything, but don't ask me to do six weeks.
11:59I can't take over the show for six weeks.
12:01I can't even take over my own life for six weeks.
12:04And you're asking me to do something that's impossible.
12:07It's impossible.
12:07Don't you understand?
12:09Who first?
12:09What?
12:10What are you doing down there so late?
12:12It's impossible.
12:13I'm trying to tell you that.
12:15What do you want?
12:16You want the tears to come out of my eyes?
12:18There's got to be a way you can work it out.
12:20It's just six weeks.
12:21Excuse me.
12:22Um, Mr. Pupkin, do you think you could...
12:25Yeah.
12:26Sure.
12:27What's your name, dear?
12:28Dolores.
12:29Dolores?
12:29That was my father's name.
12:32To Dolores, who sensed greatness.
12:38There you go, sweetheart.
12:41Thanks, Mr. Pupkin.
12:42Don't mess up.
12:44Rupert!
12:46Rupert!
12:46Who are you talking to?
12:48Mom!
12:49What is it?
12:49Please stop calling me.
12:58It's terrific.
12:59It's great.
13:00There's only one problem, though.
13:02He made...
13:03He made you bigger.
13:05Will you give me an answer?
13:06All right.
13:07You got the six weeks.
13:08I'll give you the six weeks.
13:09Don't bother me.
13:10I'll give you the six weeks.
13:11What can I say?
13:12You happy now?
13:13You're a tough man, Rupert.
13:15You gotta be in this business.
13:18Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!
13:20Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!
13:21Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!
13:23Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!
13:42Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha
13:58-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha
13:58-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha.
14:00Hello.
14:01Hello.
14:02It's Marsha, Gerry.
14:03Did you get my note?
14:04What was this?
14:05It's Marsha.
14:06Did you get the note?
14:07I left it on the backseat.
14:08I dropped it there before they dragged me out of the car.
14:11You know, those guys really hurt me, Jerry.
14:13I think I was a bit much. I really do.
14:15How did you get this number?
14:17Don't be angry with me, Jerry.
14:19I said, how did you get this number?
14:20I don't know what else to do. I've been trying to call you.
15:03How have you been, Rita?
15:07Do I know you?
15:08I think you might.
15:15I don't know.
15:16Rupert. Rupert Pupkin, right?
15:19Right.
15:21I brought you a little present.
15:25Oh, yeah. I remember. Mr. Romance.
15:31Put an aspirin in that. It'll last longer.
15:36So what are you up to these days?
15:39You're looking as beautiful as ever, Rita.
15:42Here I am. Local cheerleader makes good.
15:45You know, it's funny, but I voted for you most beautiful.
15:50Oh, did you?
15:51Yes.
15:51Oh, sweet.
15:52And I didn't have the nerve to tell you then, but I guess now it's okay.
15:55Yeah, now you can tell me it's okay. We're both adults.
15:58Is that funny, though? You know, when you're younger, you're afraid to say those things, but when you get older,
16:0215, 20 years later, you can say all those things that you should have said 15, 20 years ago.
16:07Isn't that the final irony of life? Isn't it?
16:12I guess.
16:17Are you happy in this place, Rita?
16:19You got something better?
16:20Maybe.
16:21Oh, really? Like what?
16:22Well, what are you doing tonight?
16:24What am I doing tonight?
16:26Yeah.
16:26What's so funny?
16:28Don't you think it's a little late?
16:30Ha, ha, ha!
17:06Ha, ha, ha!
17:36Ha, ha, ha!
18:06Ha, ha, ha!
18:36Ha, ha, ha!
19:06Ha, ha, ha!
19:36Ha, ha, ha!
20:06Ha, ha, ha!
20:36Ha, ha, ha!
21:06Ha, ha, ha!
21:36Ha, ha, ha!
22:06Ha, ha, ha!
22:36Ha, ha, ha!
23:06Ha, ha, ha!
23:36Ha, ha, ha!
24:06Ha, ha, ha!
24:36Ha, ha, ha!
25:06Ha, ha, ha!
25:36Ha, ha, ha!
26:06Ha, ha, ha!
26:36Ha, ha, ha!
27:06Ha, ha, ha!
27:36Ha, ha, ha!
28:06Ha, ha, ha!
28:36Ha, ha, ha!
29:07Ha, ha, ha!
29:10Ha, ha, ha!
29:37Ha, ha, ha!
29:40Ha, ha!
30:07Ha, ha!
30:10Ha, ha!
30:37Ha, ha!
30:40Ha, ha!
31:07Ha, ha!
31:10Ha, ha!
31:37Ha, ha!
31:40Ha, ha!
32:07Ha, ha!
32:10Ha, ha!
32:37Ha, ha!
32:40Ha, ha!
33:07Ha, ha!
33:10Ha, ha!
33:37Ha, ha!
33:40Ha, ha!
34:07Ha, ha!
34:10Ha, ha!
34:37Ha, ha!
34:40Ha, ha!
35:07Ha, ha!
35:10Ha, ha!
35:37Ha, ha!
35:40Ha, ha!
36:07Ha, ha!
36:10Ha, ha!
36:37Ha, ha!
36:40Ha, ha!
37:07Ha, ha!
37:10Ha, ha!
37:37Ha, ha!
37:40Ha, ha!
38:07Ha, ha!
38:10Ha, ha!
38:37Ha, ha!
38:40Ha, ha!
39:07Ha, ha!
39:10Ha, ha!
39:37Ha, ha!
39:40Ha, ha!
40:07Ha, ha!
40:10Ha, ha!
40:37Ha, ha!
40:40Ha, ha!
41:07Ha, ha!
41:10Ha, ha!
41:37Ha, ha!
41:40Ha, ha!
42:07Ha, ha!
42:10Ha, ha!
42:37Ha, ha!
42:40Ha, ha!
43:07Ha, ha!
43:10Ha, ha!
43:37Ha, ha!
43:40Ha, ha!
44:07Ha, ha!
44:10Ha, ha!
44:37Ha, ha!
44:40Ha, ha!
45:07Ha, ha!
45:10Ha, ha!
45:37Ha, ha!
45:40Ha, ha!
46:07Ha, ha!
46:10Ha, ha!
46:37Ha, ha!
46:40Ha, ha!
47:07Ha, ha!
47:10Ha, ha!
47:37Ha, ha!
47:40Ha, ha!
48:07Ha, ha!
48:10Ha, ha!
48:37Ha, ha!
48:40Ha, ha!
49:07Ha, ha!
49:10Ha, ha!
49:37Ha, ha!
49:40Ha, ha!
50:07Ha, ha!
50:10Ha, ha!
50:37Ha, ha!
50:40Ha, ha!
51:07Ha, ha!
51:10Ha, ha!
51:37Ha, ha!
51:40Ha, ha!
52:07Ha, ha!
52:10Ha, ha!
52:37Ha, ha!
52:40Ha, ha!
53:07Ha, ha!
53:10Ha, ha!
53:37Ha, ha!
53:40Ha, ha!
53:59Ha, ha!
53:59Ha, ha!
53:59Ha, ha!
Comments