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TVTranscript
00:05Sorry, I...
00:06What's got you so focused, you forgot how to walk?
00:11G-get back, I...
00:12Give it back!
00:13Beg me.
00:20Get off me, nerd!
00:22Lucas!
00:28Don't laugh!
00:29Shut the hell up!
00:40Go pick that ball up, or I'm gonna make you regret it.
00:50Let him go.
00:51Oh, come on, Marcus.
00:52You mess with him every day.
00:53Now you're playing hero?
00:57Only I get to bully him.
01:01Touch him again, and I'll twist your head off and use it as a soccer ball.
01:08You okay?
01:09Mind your own business!
01:10He's right, this is all your fault!
01:12And now you're acting like some hero?
01:15Marcus, listen to me.
01:16The person I hate most in this world...
01:19is you!
01:23Lucas, I bully you because...
01:25I fucking like you!
01:31Lucas, you're home.
01:33I made you your favorite, hot cocoa.
01:36Spare me the fake nice.
01:37I know what you're doing.
01:39You... you know?
01:40You're trying to win me over.
01:41But let me make this clear.
01:43You will never be the lady of this house.
01:49What the hell is that?
01:51Were you trying to poison me?
01:59Your father won't marry me because of you.
02:01If you're alive, I'll never inherit his fortune.
02:04So I have to get rid of you!
02:07If my dad finds out you tried to hurt me,
02:09he'll never marry a psycho like you!
02:12Too bad you won't get the chance to tell him.
02:15Die!
02:21Marcus, what are you doing here?
02:23I came down the chimney.
02:24Lucas, I need to explain why I mess with you.
02:42Let go of me!
02:56Okay, either I'm dead or I blacked out at a renaissance fair.
03:00What are you, a flying paper cut?
03:02Ah, our Prince Charming is finally awake!
03:04I am the Guardian Sprite of Fairy Tales.
03:07You awakened me, so I brought you into this storybook.
03:13Oh my god!
03:14I look like a rejected Disney extra.
03:18Why am I dressed like Prince Chanham's cousin who sells essential oils?
03:21How can I leave this ridiculous place?
03:25Your Highness,
03:26the King commands you to depart at once
03:28to marry the Princess Snow White of the neighboring kingdom.
03:31Snow White?
03:32Absolutely not.
03:33I'm gay.
03:34I'm not about to drag some innocent girl into a straight marriage starter pack.
03:37That's emotional terrorism.
03:41You have got to be kidding me.
03:43Good morning.
03:44Princess Snow White?
03:45Sleep well?
03:46I'm a guy.
03:47Do you see the stubble?
03:48The Adam's apple?
03:49The entire male anatomy-gy package?
03:51Hmm.
03:52Yeah.
03:52That's not supposed to happen.
03:54Okay.
03:55Looks like we've got a role assignment error.
03:58Let me file a ticket with fairytale tech support.
04:02Oh great.
04:03So how long is the wait time?
04:04Three business entries?
04:05Why won't this thing come off?
04:07I want men's clothes, pants, a hoodie,
04:10literally anything with sleeves that aren't made in.
04:12Can't.
04:12Your character is Snow White.
04:14Snow White has a dress.
04:15It's in the contract.
04:16I never signed anything.
04:18You did.
04:18You just didn't read the terms and conditions.
04:21Like everyone else.
04:23Look.
04:23You got unlimited dresses.
04:25Fresh options daily.
04:26It's basically princess Netflix.
04:31No.
04:32No, no, no.
04:33Stop.
04:33All right.
04:34Ready to meet your Prince Charming?
04:36He'll be here soon to marry you.
04:39What?
04:40I'm straight.
04:41I don't like men.
04:42Tell me how to get out of this nightmare.
04:43Easy.
04:44You just have to truly fall in love with Prince Charming.
04:46You're insane.
04:49Except reality, your highness.
04:51This is the only way you can return to the real world.
04:54Fall in love with a man?
04:55I'd rather be trapped here forever.
04:58Princess Snow White,
04:59you inherited your father's heroic masculinity.
05:05Princess, the queen requests your presence.
05:09What is it?
05:11Oh, my God.
05:13Lucas, you're Snow White?
05:16This is amazing.
05:17The evil queen?
05:19Yeah, that tracks.
05:21You're dressed like a walking jewelry store.
05:23Afraid people might miss how greedy you are?
05:26Oh, my dear Lucas.
05:28In here, I'm the queen.
05:29I have everything.
05:31And honestly, I'm in love with this place.
05:35And you are the key back to reality.
05:37So if I want to stay here,
05:40I'll have to kill you.
05:42You're sure he's the coldest killer in the kingdom?
05:47Yes, your majesty.
05:49He's the infamous hunter nicknamed Mr. Alpha Male.
05:52I hate women.
05:53Especially women prettier than me.
05:55So Snow White, the most beautiful, cannot be allowed to live.
06:02Leave your Snow White to me.
06:16Die, Snow White.
06:22Snow White is a man?
06:25A man and he's hot?
06:29Who the hell are you?
06:32I'm your secret lover.
06:36Snow White's taste is a felony.
06:38I get it.
06:39You're the queen's assassin.
06:40She sent you to kill me.
06:41She told me to eliminate you.
06:43She just forgot to mention you're a man.
06:46And exactly my type.
06:49I've changed my mind.
06:51A face like yours?
06:52I couldn't possibly pull the trigger.
06:56You don't come any closer.
06:58The entire palace is under the queen's control.
07:01She won't stop until you're dead.
07:03But I can protect you.
07:04Whether you come with me is your choice.
07:07You protect me?
07:09That's right.
07:10I'm the coldest killer alive.
07:13Mr. Alpha Male.
07:14He actually let that little trash escape!
07:18Issue a kingdom-wide manhunt now!
07:21A princess with an Adam's apple.
07:23Chest hair shouldn't be hard to spot.
07:27For the last time, I am not marrying Snow White!
07:29I only want Lucas.
07:31Your Highness!
07:31Bad news!
07:32Snow White has gone missing!
07:35Missing?
07:35Perfect!
07:36This Snow White has a suspicious amount of testosterone.
07:40Wait.
07:41Snow White is Lucas?
07:46I...
07:47I...
07:47I can't run anymore!
07:52Hide!
07:56I'll go distract them.
07:57You head east and find your fiancé, Prince Charming.
08:01He will protect you.
08:02But what about you?
08:04Don't worry.
08:05I'm a Mr. Alpha Male.
08:06A few guards can't hurt me.
08:09Remember, never enter the enchanted forest.
08:12There are seven total psychos in there.
08:14Nobody who goes in ever makes it out alive.
08:20Damn.
08:21He's handsome.
08:22Too bad he doesn't like men.
08:24Wait.
08:25Does he actually like men or not?
08:27Hey!
08:28You ugly freaks!
08:30Come and catch me!
08:33Get him!
08:35Damn this dress!
08:36Damn the queen!
08:38Damn this fairy tale!
08:43Princess Snow White.
08:45Her Majesty requests your return to the palace.
08:49And what if I say no?
08:50Then you'll suffer a little.
08:57Marcus!
08:58What the hell is this jerk doing here?
09:00As long as I'm here,
09:01nobody can lay a finger on him.
09:03Someone thinks a little too highly of themselves.
09:11What are you doing?
09:12Stop it!
09:13Hold the unstoppable secret technique!
09:16Tickle attack!
09:24Are you okay?
09:27You're wearing a prince's uniform.
09:29You're Prince Charming?
09:32No, no, no!
09:34If you're Prince Charming,
09:35I'd rather die or stuck here forever!
09:37Lucas still hates me.
09:38I should hide my identity for now
09:40and give him time.
09:42I'm not...
09:44I'm not Prince Charming.
09:46I'm his half-brother,
09:48Prince Charging.
09:49Prince?
09:50Prince Charging?
09:51What the hell is that?
09:53Look!
09:53Bright enough to light a whole kingdom.
09:55That's why they call me Prince Charging.
09:58Even your horse looks gay as hell.
10:02I'm heading to find my brother Prince Charming.
10:05Why don't we go together?
10:06No thanks.
10:07There are wild beasts around here.
10:09It's dangerous alone.
10:10Well,
10:10even if I'm wearing this stupid dress,
10:12I'm still a man.
10:13I'm not afraid of any beasts.
10:20I'm not afraid of any beasts.
10:23So,
10:24want to reconsider my offer?
10:25And just so you know,
10:26there's more than one snake out here.
10:29Dammit!
10:30I might actually need this jerk to protect me.
10:33Fine.
10:34Whatever.
10:38Stop!
10:39In broad daylight?
10:40What are you doing?
10:43Fixing my shirt.
10:44What did you think?
10:48Damn.
10:49His body is actually amazing.
10:51If you want to look,
10:52you can be bold.
10:53I'd be honored if my muscles have your approval.
10:57Who's looking?
10:59Narcissist.
11:00Then do you want to touch them?
11:03What are you doing?
11:07I know you want me to.
11:09I don't.
11:14Kissing a man
11:15actually feels pretty good.
11:31Thank God it was just a dream.
11:33Lucas,
11:34Lucas,
11:34get a grip.
11:35You're straight.
11:37Stop having stupid dreams like that
11:39and the guys you hate the most.
11:40I'm straight.
11:42I'm straight.
11:45Being queen feels wonderful.
11:47Even my hair is smoother than before.
11:50This is...
11:53My hair!
11:54What happened to my hair?
11:56Wow!
11:57This means Snow White and Prince Charming have met.
12:00What?
12:00From now on,
12:01every time their relationship grows a little deeper,
12:04you'll lose another patch of hair.
12:06And when they truly fall in love,
12:08your head will become one perfectly smooth boiled egg.
12:13No!
12:14Lucas!
12:15Marcus!
12:15I'll kill you both!
12:18Spread my order!
12:19Hunt down Snow White across the entire kingdom,
12:21alive or dead!
12:23Your majesty,
12:25perhaps the legendary magic mirror could cure your boldness.
12:28Right!
12:29The all-knowing mirror!
12:30It has to be able to fix my hair!
12:33Go find that mirror immediately!
12:35I want it brought to me within three days!
12:38Lucas,
12:40once I catch you,
12:41I'm going to pluck every single hair off your head.
12:47Look!
12:48Is that a princess?
12:49Princess?
12:50That's obviously a man.
12:52A man who likes wearing dresses.
12:54Hey, handsome, cute dress!
12:56Mind lend it to my big sis sometime?
13:00Just ignore them.
13:01I hate this dress!
13:03Oh my goodness!
13:04Whose daughter is this?
13:05She's so tall!
13:12Mom!
13:12That lady has stubble!
13:14Don't say nonsense!
13:16Apologize to the lady!
13:17Wait!
13:19He really does have stubble!
13:20I'm a man!
13:21A man in a dress?
13:24Sick!
13:24Calm down!
13:25Don't bother with them!
13:32Look!
13:33There's a hot girl bathing!
13:34Man!
13:35Tonight's our lucky night!
13:38Why does the voice sound like a guy?
13:40You know nothing!
13:42Androger and your beauty is trending!
13:47It's a man!
13:48My eyes!
13:49Hey!
13:49I haven't even screamed yet!
13:50What are you screaming?
13:51I swear I'll never peek at bathing girls again!
13:54Please stop sending cross-dressing dudes to test me!
13:57I've had enough of this!
13:59Sprite!
13:59Fairy!
14:00Whatever!
14:01Just get out here right now!
14:06I want to get rid of this damn dress!
14:10Well, it's not impossible!
14:12Play a game with me and you can change it!
14:14What game?
14:15Look!
14:22No way!
14:23Whatever the game is, I won't play anything with him!
14:25Hey!
14:26What did I do to you this time?
14:27Then I guess you'll just keep wearing the dress!
14:31Honestly, the more I look at it on you, the better it suits you!
14:34Fine!
14:35What game?
14:37Blindfold feeding!
14:40Lucas puts on the blindfold!
14:42Marcus sits three meters away!
14:44Lucas has to walk over and feed the strawberry to Marcus!
14:47That's it?
14:48Easy peasy!
14:49But you can't use your hands!
14:50You have to hold the strawberry in your mouth!
14:52What kind of perverted game is that?
14:54What's wrong?
14:55Scared?
14:56Who's scared?
14:57I'll just pretend I'm feeding a pet!
15:01Okay.
15:20Where are you touching?
15:22Shut up!
15:33Oh my god.
15:35Does this count as kissing Marcus?
15:37This is a straight man's greatest humiliation.
15:40His lips are just as soft as in my dream.
15:45Wait!
15:45Why am I reacting?
15:47No, no, no!
15:47That's impossible!
15:48What's wrong?
15:49Stomachache?
15:50I'm fine!
15:50Don't come closer!
15:52Ho ho!
15:53I see what's going on now!
15:54Shut up!
15:57You know, I'm actually the same as you.
16:01Take some time.
16:03Wait!
16:04Does this mean I've actually been turned gay?
16:08Finally!
16:09I can get out of that damn dress!
16:13I can't reveal my identity to Lucas just yet.
16:15Please keep it a secret for me.
16:17This is getting good!
16:18The plot just keeps getting juicier!
16:20Do you think you're watching a reality show?
16:32Hungry?
16:33No, I'm fine.
16:34Here.
16:36Thirsty?
16:37I said I'm fine.
16:39Cold?
16:40Drop it!
16:41I'm not cold.
16:46I've never seen such a beautiful flower.
16:48This is for you.
16:49Just so you know, this adorable little flower?
16:51Completely poisonous.
16:58It has no taste at all.
17:00I want juice.
17:01Although there's no juice, honey water on the house.
17:04And trust me, we got plenty.
17:06You're not trying to...
17:08Watch me.
17:09Marcus, don't do it!
17:12This is gonna end badly.
17:17Hey there.
17:20Is it coming?
17:31It's all your fault.
17:32We almost got stung to death and you're still laughing?
17:35You're still cute when you're mad.
17:39No, no, no.
17:40I'm straight.
17:41Totally straight.
17:42From now on, you must stay at least one meter away from me.
17:46Ah!
17:56Marcus!
17:57At your service?
17:59Pull me up right now!
18:00Didn't you just tell me to keep more than a meter away from you?
18:03This pit looks at least three meters deep,
18:06which meets your requirement perfectly.
18:08Marcus, stop messing around!
18:09But you literally make that rule like five seconds ago.
18:12Asshole, just wait till I get up there, I swear!
18:15I'm gonna mess you up!
18:16Why don't you climb up here first, then we'll talk.
18:18Marcus!
18:19Come back!
18:21Jerk.
18:21All that talk about liking me was a lie.
18:24Bullying me at school,
18:25and now abandoning me.
18:27I almost believed him.
18:30Crying?
18:31Idiot.
18:32Didn't you leave?
18:33What are you doing back here?
18:34Silly boy.
18:35I'd never leave you here.
18:37Grab on, I'll pull you up.
18:39I've got you!
18:41Ah!
18:42Ah!
18:44Ah!
18:45Ah!
18:46Ah!
18:48Ah!
18:49Aren't you the captain of the football team?
18:50How come you're so weak?
18:52Maybe because you're heavier than you look.
18:54I'm literally standard weight.
18:55The real problem here is you're weak.
18:57Fine, fine.
18:57It's all my fault.
19:00You can scoot a little closer.
19:02Trust me, it's way warmer over here.
19:04In your dreams.
19:06I'd rather freeze to death.
19:07Fine.
19:08Have it your way.
19:09Idiot.
19:09Freezing your ass off and still pretending you're fine.
19:15Damn it!
19:15Why am I in his arms?
19:18Hmm.
19:19No wonder he won Prom King two years in a row.
19:22He really is good looking.
19:24You're awake!
19:25I-I-I was just-
19:34What the hell are you doing?
19:37Lucas, I'm sorry.
19:38I just-
19:39Let me tell you, Marcus.
19:40I'm straight.
19:40I could never like you.
19:41I was just being impulsive.
19:43I'll never forgive you for bullying me at school.
19:45You make me sick.
19:47What did you say?
19:48I said, you make me sick.
19:50There is no way I'd ever fall for a jerk like you.
19:54You're right.
19:59Right, I am a jerk.
20:01I'm such an idiot for falling for you.
20:03Marcus, let go of me.
20:04I'm such a fool for doing everything I could to get your attention,
20:08for trying to protect you this whole time.
20:10But from now on, I'm not going to like you anymore.
20:14I finally got rid of this jerk.
20:16I should be happy.
20:17But why do I feel so lost?
20:20We need to figure out how to get out of here.
20:24Marcus!
20:25I heard you.
20:31Grab it.
20:42Thanks.
20:45Let's go.
20:51Marcus?
20:53Where are you?
21:00Marcus, help!
21:04Marcus, help!
21:08Run!
21:15I said run, do you hear me?
21:19No, I can't leave you to face this alone.
21:26Lucas, get out of here.
21:28I can't hold it off much longer.
21:30But you?
21:31What I said before.
21:32I didn't mean it.
21:33I lied to you.
21:34What?
21:35I still fucking like you.
21:37I've liked you since middle school,
21:38and I never stopped.
21:47I'm not leaving you here.
22:02I'm not leaving you here.
22:03Are you hurt?
22:06No, I'm fine.
22:08Just, my legs are just a little shaky.
22:18He actually risked his life to save me.
22:21After I was so mean to him.
22:23I said, you make me sick.
22:25There is no way I'd ever fall for a jerk like you.
22:27Did I go too far with what I said?
22:30If it weren't for him, those scars would probably be on me.
22:41It's ready.
22:42You first.
22:45Marcus, I said those things earlier out of anger, too.
22:48I know I was way out of line.
22:50I'm sorry.
22:52Lucas, would you just give us a chance?
22:55I don't expect you to say yes right now.
22:57I just want to know,
22:58is there even a tiny chance you could ever like me?
23:01How could I ever like a guy?
23:03It should be an easy answer, so why is it so hard to say?
23:07I'm sorry.
23:08I can't.
23:09I'm really grateful you saved my life.
23:11But I'm straight.
23:13And I'll never be anything else.
23:14I-I'm sorry.
23:18I get it.
23:19I respect your choice.
23:22But I'm still going to like you anyway.
23:28I'm finally free of his nonsense, so why don't feel happy at all?
23:32Get a grip, Lucas.
23:34You're just grateful he saved you.
23:36You're not gay.
23:38A glowing flower?
23:40Never seen one of those before.
23:41It smells special.
23:47It's so hot.
23:48What's going on?
24:06Marcus.
24:09What's wrong?
24:13What's wrong?
24:14I want you.
24:23You've got a fever?
24:24Why are you burning up?
24:33Lucas.
24:34Are you drunk?
24:35There isn't even any alcohol out here.
24:37Marcus.
24:38I know you want me.
24:39You're not thinking straight.
24:41I'm not taking advantage of you like this.
25:00I'm not taking advantage of you like this.
25:09Don't.
25:11Don't.
25:13Don't what?
25:14Don't stop.
25:16Don't stop.
25:27Morning.
25:29Don't touch me.
25:56I'm not taking advantage of you like this.
26:00So now you're denying everything?
26:00A bird's castle.
26:01Tomorrow you'll finally meet him.
26:03Great.
26:03After tomorrow I won't have to see your annoying face ever again.
26:07why does it feel like my heart is breaking that flower must have fried my brain i'm just used to
26:13having him around all the time that's all don't worry once i get back to the real world everything
26:18will go back to normal the last glowing thing we found was an aphrodisiac flower don't tell me this
26:27glowing water is some kind of love potion too why don't you take a sip and find out
26:33well look who finally made it here you again every time you show up something bad happens
26:38relax i'm just here for the show this time this is the spring of desire if you look into it
26:44you'll
26:44see what your heart wants most oh yeah then let's see what i want most probably a massive feast back
26:50in the real world back off okay okay
27:02no way the thing i want most is him what did you see why are you so red nothing i
27:08just i just saw
27:09a beautiful bathing a beautiful woman bathing you really are straight you can fool him but not me
27:16i know exactly what you saw it must be because i'm snow white maybe this body's female hormones are
27:23messing with my head stop lying to yourself the spring of desire is never wrong
27:29do i really like him what are you two whispering about we were just talking about lucas's deepest
27:34desire shut up i'm an honest elf my mother raised me never to lie please you're just here for the
27:41drama what are you two even talking about why can't tell me i saw us kissing really lucas you like
27:48me too
27:48don't you so what if i do i have to fall in love with prince charming if i want to
27:53leave this place
27:55marcus we can't be together it's time to tell lucas who i really am lucas wait lucas there's
28:01something i have to tell you i'm actually
28:10joanna sent them no idea but they don't look friendly on three we run in opposite directions
28:17you think you can outrun them pretty sure you failed pe i was the 10 meter sprint champion in
28:22kindergarten thank you very much your highness prince charming we finally found you your highness
28:29your prince charming your highness and this is he's snow white my fiance no my fiance not that either
28:39whatever he's the one i love he's the legendary snow white with the stubble i don't care if he's a
28:45man or a woman he's the one i'm going to marry but his majesty has given strict orders he cannot
28:51accept
28:51two men marrying this snow white is forbidden from entering the castle that old fossil people are out
28:56here falling in love with chat gpt lucas is at least a real human being his majesty also said that
29:02if you insist on marrying him he'll hang your embarrassing baby pics at the castle gate
29:07your embarrassing baby pictures your king's got a pretty good sense of humor
29:13wait so you were fucking lying to me this whole time lucas i'm sorry i didn't mean to deceive you
29:19i was afraid that if you knew the truth i finally accepted my feelings for you
29:23and all this time you were just making a fool out of me no lucas i like you i would
29:29never hurt you
29:29enough i hate being lied to more than anything lucas i was wrong please just let me explain
29:39hey wrong way that's the enchanted forest the enchanted forest the one no one's ever made it out of alive
29:46you kept saying you liked me but you were lying to me the whole time
29:58who's there another stupid just wandered in perfect it's been forever since we've had fresh meat
30:05he looks delicious oh crap i must have stumbled into the legendary seven villains
30:13god i'd kill for a big mac right now
30:18nope i can't hold it in did you see his face he went completely white
30:30you guys are the legendary seven villains you ever seen demons this handsome
30:35we're not demons we're victims victims we used to be guards for the evil queen but she wanted us to
30:43take turns being her lovers monday through sunday no repeats we're respectable guards okay not rent
30:49boys why would we ever agree to that so she got mad threw us into the enchanted forest and trapped
30:54us here with dark magic i can't believe the seven dwarves from the fairy tale actually have it this rough
30:59we've been stuck here so long we're dying of boredom but hey now you're here at least we've got a
31:05new face
31:05around what's your name where are you from do you have a girlfriend please that's outdated gay is in
31:10now so do you have a boyfriend oh so there is someone no nothing like that then why are you
31:17blushing
31:18oh i i'm hot okay tell us more
31:29we have a witness who says snow white ran into the enchanted forest you boys wouldn't happen to know
31:34where he is would you wait is that guy snow white by order of the queen if you reveal snow
31:40white's
31:40whereabouts your freedom will be restored
31:46are they gonna hand me over
31:49oof you're too late what do you mean snow white got eaten by a beast the second he ran into
31:54the
31:54enchanted forest i saw it with my own eyes it was brutal total bloodbath want me to take you to
32:00the
32:00scene though fair warning you probably won't be able to eat for days no no no that won't be necessary
32:06as long as i've got something to report back to the queen
32:10head back and inform the queen snow white is dead
32:19hey they're gone you're safe now why did you help me because we hate that old witch of a queen
32:25the enemy of our enemy is our friend
32:30your majesty word from the guard snow white is dead
32:35finally that little noose is dead so my hair should grow back now right
32:40oh no no no no no no no no
32:47i thought my hair was supposed to grow back once he died
32:51that's because snow white isn't dead who are you i'm the all-knowing magic mirror
32:55oh wow your majesty that hair is a bold choice shut up just tell me how to get my hair
33:01back
33:01as long as snow white and prince charming never fall in love your hair will grow back
33:06i'm going to the enchanted forest and killing him myself
33:08your majesty those three hairs of yours would be gone in one gust of wind
33:12shut up let me do it i hate couples more than anything
33:15the second i see them acting all sweet i want to lose it
33:18all he has to do is take one bite of this apple pie
33:22and it's over
33:24it's been days and that bastard marcus still hasn't come looking for me
33:28figures you can't trust the word men say
33:34who are you
33:35i'm the little match girl sister
33:37the little apple pie girl
33:39sister
33:39with those wrinkles you look more like the little apple pie grandma
33:42oh i have never seen such a handsome man in my life
33:46apple pie handsome
33:49wow smells incredible go on it's free
33:51wait apples and fairy tales are always poisoned
33:54you're not joanna are you
33:59in fairy tales the evil queen dresses up as an old woman and tricks snow white
34:04into eating a poisoned apple
34:05joanna stop pretending
34:08i'm not her
34:09i'm just the little apple pie girl
34:12i know that's your disguise joanna
34:14and your makeup is terrible
34:15hey you can question my character
34:18but not my makeup skills
34:20come on
34:20let's rip the mask off her
34:26no no stop
34:29so you really aren't joanna
34:31i told you i wasn't
34:32and you still rip my clothes off
34:34sorry
34:35i got it wrong
34:36i offered you free apple pie
34:38and somehow i'm the bad guy
34:40okay okay don't cry i'll eat it
34:41i'll eat it
34:45lucas
34:46lucas
34:48what are you doing here
34:50i've been looking for you this whole time
34:52huh
34:52looking for me
34:53what so you could keep lying to me
34:54lucas can you stop being impossible for one second
34:57i'm impossible
34:57you're the one who's heartless shameless and impossible
34:59how am i heartless
35:00how am i shameless
35:01how am i impossible
35:02how are you not heartless
35:02how are you not shameless
35:03how are you not impossible
35:04fine
35:06even if i am heartless
35:07shameless and impossible
35:08what are you two doing
35:09practicing a damn tongue twister
35:12handsome
35:12want some apple pie
35:13might help you calm down
35:15i'm not hungry
35:16come on
35:17eat a little
35:18you need energy
35:19if you're gonna keep arguing
35:21i said i'm not hungry
35:22just one bite
35:23god you're annoying
35:24can't you see we're in the middle of something
35:26fine
35:27i'll eat it
35:28happy
35:34get it out
35:35do you have any idea how hard that was to make
35:37i pulled three all-nighters on that pie
35:41let go
35:42what are you doing
35:43let him go
35:44so you do still care about me
35:46god i hate couples like you
35:48will you two die
35:49if you stop acting lovey doovy for one second
35:51god
35:52calm down
35:53don't do anything stupid
35:54you can always make another one
35:57seriously
35:57it was just an apple pie
35:59that was my masterpiece
36:01i spent forever perfecting that poison blend
36:04wait
36:04so you really were sent by joanna
36:06well obviously
36:07why else would i drag myself into this dump of a forest to deliver apple pie
36:11as long as we're here
36:13you're not hurting lucas
36:14i wasn't even planning to hurt him
36:16a man that handsome is practically in danger
36:18but the queen gave me orders
36:20no matter what it takes
36:22i have to keep him and prince charman apart
36:24help he's trying to stab me
36:26i'm not
36:27i was just
36:31please
36:35as long as i'm here
36:36you're not laying a finger on lucas
36:38i
36:39i wasn't trying to hurt him
36:40i was going to kill myself
36:43i failed my mission
36:44if i go back the queen will punish me anyway
36:47might as well end it myself
36:49oh sorry my bad
36:51well be our guest
36:54wait
36:56your job is to keep snow white and prince charming from ending up together right
37:01then wouldn't poisoning prince charming work just as well
37:03huh
37:08let go
37:10poisoning prince charming works just as well
37:13serves you right for being greedy and snatching someone else's food
37:16that's what you get
37:18alright
37:18mission accomplished
37:21what
37:23you do realize that pie you just swallowed was poisoned right
37:26right
37:26the pie was poisoned
37:32water
37:33somebody get me water
37:37i think i'm dying
37:42marcus actually took the fall for you
37:44that is so moving
37:46is this what true love looks like
37:48if somebody did that for me i'd marry him on the spot
37:51i don't care if it's a man a woman a cat or a dog
37:53he didn't even know the pie was poisoned
37:56what's so moving about that
37:57yeah but before that
37:58he jumped into that pit for you
38:00he fought a beast for you
38:01keep going and i'm gonna fall for him myself
38:03lying to you was wrong
38:04but his feelings for you are real
38:06lucas just forgive him
38:08yeah come on just forgive him
38:09alright alright i get it okay
38:10marcus we just did you a huge favor
38:12so how are you gonna thank us
38:14me i'm poisoned i'm dying here
38:16maybe help me first
38:19right he's poisoned come on think of something
38:21hmm
38:21but you actually look pretty good
38:24your skin's kind of glowing
38:25maybe it was fake poison
38:26worst case he gets diarrhea for a couple days
38:28okay that's a relief
38:33marcus
38:34marcus
38:35okay we know you hate him but this is a little much
38:39he really is poisoned
38:40come on think of something
38:42i heard my grandpa talk about a miracle cure once
38:45hot oil
38:46heat kills poison
38:52this kind of worm feeds on toxins
38:54if we put it inside marcus
38:56it'll suck all the poison out of his body
39:02it says the best way to get poison out
39:04is to literally beat it out of him
39:06watch this
39:09you didn't just break his ribs did you
39:16i've got another idea
39:17enough
39:17at this rate the poison won't kill him
39:19you too will
39:22maybe there is one thing that might work
39:24what
39:24true love's kiss
39:26in fairy tales
39:27snow white eats the poisoned apple
39:29and prince charmia's kiss wakes her up
39:31yeah but that's a fairy tale
39:32this is the real world
39:33you wouldn't get it
39:35to me this is the fairy tale
39:36this isn't just an excuse to kiss him is it
39:38like i need an excuse
39:40we've kissed plenty of times already
39:45i'm only doing this to save him
39:49and he still says he's not gay
39:55why didn't it work
39:56maybe your kiss wasn't heartfelt enough
39:58shut up
39:59i'm trying to save him
40:00kiss him again
40:00kiss him again
40:03i refuse to believe i can't kiss you awake
40:10lucas it's no use
40:11he already missed the golden seven hour window for antidotes
40:14he's not breathing anymore
40:16lucas
40:17i'm sorry
40:18we should bury him in the prettiest garden in the enchanted forest
40:22how could you just die like this
40:24you said you'd protect me forever
40:26if you're dead who's supposed to protect me now
40:29marcus you asshole
40:30i never got to tell you
40:32i fell for you a long time ago
40:35lucas
40:36the grave's ready
40:37it's time
40:38i love you marcus
40:42i love you too
40:44you're not dead
40:46i woke up the first time you kissed me
40:47then why were you playing dead
40:48because i wanted to hear you say you loved me a few more times
40:51marcus
40:52you were messing with me again
40:55lucas
40:55thank you
40:56you've made me the happiest man in the world
41:04so this is what love looks like
41:06we're leaving lucas with you
41:07you better take good care of him from now on
41:11thank you
41:12for taking care of me all this time
41:16wait
41:17i just thought of a way to get you out of the enchanted forest
41:21the way is
41:27lucas
41:29you didn't finish your words
41:31what was the way out lucas come back
41:34wait
41:35could lucas's method be
41:37true love's kiss
41:39in your dreams
41:41i am not kissing you
41:42i mean
41:43it wouldn't hurt to try
41:56your majesty
41:57good news
41:58well
41:59out with it
42:00mission accomplished
42:01prince charming is dead
42:03there's no way those two can end up together now
42:05really
42:06i saw him eat the apple pie with my own eyes
42:09he dropped dead right after
42:12excellent
42:13if i can't poison that bitch lucas to death
42:15then poisoning his prince charming works just as well
42:19so my hair should grow back now right
42:24what
42:25what is going on
42:28didn't you say prince charming was dead
42:30i i saw him eat the pie myself
42:33then why is my hair still falling
42:35maybe
42:36maybe killing prince charming doesn't work the same way
42:39i'm gonna kill you
42:44your majesty
42:46your majesty
42:47where are you
42:48i haven't even told you who the fairest woman in the land is yet
42:55obviously me
43:04i'm back
43:09was
43:10was all of that just a dream
43:13if all of that was just a dream
43:16then marcus and i
43:17you damn bald woman
43:18get away from me
43:22honey you can't throw me out
43:25you said you were going to marry me
43:27i like women with hair
43:29i do not want to wake up in the middle of the night thinking i'm holding a man
43:33my hair will grow back
43:34the doctor said it's hair loss from stress
43:37stress
43:37you use my card every day to buy bags shoes and makeup
43:40what exactly are you stressed about
43:42if i were still queen i'd have your head chopped off you old fool
43:48queen
43:49so it wasn't a dream
43:51it was real
43:52i wasted years of my youth on an old fossil like you
43:56you owe me a huge settlement
43:58joanna you tried to poison me and you still think you deserve a payout
44:01want to see how fast i call the cops
44:03bitch if it weren't for you i'd still be the mighty queen
44:06joanna don't forget
44:07in fairy tales the evil queen never gets a happy ending
44:10in the fairy tale snow white falls for prince charming
44:13what about you
44:15did you fall for your prince charming too snow white
44:18your father's such an old fossil
44:20there's no way he'll accept the whole lgbt thing
44:22he'll definitely throw you out
44:24queen snow white
44:26are you two doing cosplay or something
44:27if i can't inherit your father's money
44:29then you don't get to inherit it either
44:33lucas is my son
44:34he's my only heir
44:35what happens in this family is none of your business
44:37oh yeah
44:38what if your only heir is gay
44:40you're gay
44:43i'm not
44:43not
44:44because i heard you and that boy marcus were all over each other
44:48hugging kissing the whole thing
44:50shut up
44:52dad yeah i
44:56dad you're not mad
44:58truth is
44:59i had a boyfriend when i was younger too
45:01what
45:01his name was tom
45:03six foot three
45:04eight pack abs
45:05blonde hair
45:05blue eyes
45:06insanely hot
45:09anyway
45:09that's all in the past
45:11as long as you two really love each other
45:12i don't care if it's a man or a woman
45:16wow
45:16i had no idea gay was hereditary
45:18instead of stirring the pot
45:20maybe you should focus on
45:21fixing that bald head of yours
45:22shut up
45:26so what was that boy's name again
45:29marcus
45:30i have to go find him
45:37hey nerd
45:38lend us some money
45:39get lost
45:40i don't have time for this
45:41you know who we are
45:42and you still talk to us like that
45:44i've dealt with the seven bullies
45:45what are you two supposed to be
45:47if you're not gonna hand it over
45:48don't blame us for what happens next
45:53try touching him
45:54see what happens
45:56if you run now you might still make it
45:58come on let's go
45:59he's the football captain
46:03you okay
46:04marcus
46:04i missed you
46:06lucas
46:07what are you doing
46:11weren't we together
46:12together
46:12since when were we together
46:14that's news to me
46:15you don't remember
46:16prince charming
46:17the enchanted forest
46:19the seven boys
46:20lucas
46:21what are you even talking about
46:22you ate the poisoned apple pie
46:24i kissed you
46:25you told me you loved me
46:26you seriously don't remember any of it
46:28lucas
46:29have you been reading too many fairy tales or something
46:31was it all just a dream
46:32it wasn't a dream
46:33marcus think
46:34we went through all of that together
46:36lucas
46:36i have no idea what you're talking about
46:39and i've never liked you
46:43then why did you save me just now
46:45if i see anybody getting bullied
46:46i step in
46:47it had nothing to do with you
46:50what the hell happened
46:52why doesn't he remember any of it
46:55damn you marcus
46:56you turned me gay
46:58and now you don't remember any of it
47:12your highness snow white
47:14i'm back in the fairy tale world again
47:16you're not back
47:17i just moved the fairy tale world into your house for now
47:21wasn't all of this supposed to be over
47:23what do you want now
47:24relax
47:25snow white and prince charming story still hasn't reached the finale
47:28the finale
47:31come on let's see the first ending
47:33you're gonna love this one
47:37guys thank god
47:38you guys made it out of the enchanted forest
47:42that's thanks to you lucas
47:43me but i didn't even finish what i was saying
47:45you and marcus gave us hope
47:47you made us believe true love really can break any curse
47:49so we tried the true love's kiss thing too
47:52and the curse broke
47:53that's amazing i'm so happy for you guys
47:56first ending
47:57the seven boys break the evil queen's curse
48:00and win back their freedom
48:01hold on we're not done yet
48:03there's still the second ending
48:05second ending
48:06joanna got exactly what she deserved
48:08this is joanna
48:09based on your test results
48:10your hair is never growing back
48:12no that's impossible
48:13your scalp is severely inflamed
48:15you need to stop wearing wigs immediately
48:17what
48:17how am i supposed to go out without a wig
48:19are you saying i'm supposed to spend the rest of my life as a bald beauty
48:22bald yes
48:24beauty
48:24not exactly
48:26she'd be bald and alone for the rest of her life
48:30and now for the third ending
48:31the final ending
48:33prince charming is about to officially confess to snow white
48:36that ending's probably not happening
48:38marcus doesn't remember any of it
48:40are you sure he doesn't remember anything
48:44marcus
48:45i thought you didn't remember any of it
48:47idiot
48:47i was messing with you
48:49and you said you didn't even like me
48:50i just wanted to make sure
48:52i needed to know if you really liked me
48:54or if you were just moved because of everything that happened in the fairy tale world
48:57asshole
48:57do you know how miserable i was
48:59i'm sorry lucas
49:01i promise i'll never make you feel that way again
49:04lucas i love you
49:05will you be my snow wife forever
49:11final ending
49:12snow white and prince charming finally get their happily ever after
49:17all right
49:18i'm off to mess with the next fairy tale
49:22see you in the next story
49:24fun
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