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00:00From Hollywood, it's Jimmy Kimmel Live!
00:04Tonight, Moldy Han from Deli Boys, Asif Ali and Sagar Shaikh,
00:10plus music from Duran Duran featuring Nile Rodgers with The Klee Tones!
00:17And now, Jimmy Kimmel!
00:33Very nice.
00:34Jimmy, I'm the host of the show.
00:37Thank you for joining us here at our home at Hollywood.
00:43We are very pleased to welcome you,
00:46especially those visiting us from outside the United States.
00:50You are in royal company.
00:52The royals are here in the U.S.
00:53King Charles and Queen Camilla spent the day in New York today
00:58shooting rats.
01:01Last night, they were honored, the king and queen,
01:03with a lavish state dinner at the White House.
01:05About 100 guests enjoyed a garden vegetable velouté,
01:09handcrafted spring-herbed ravioli,
01:12a Doversole Meuniere bathed in a nutty brown butter,
01:15spring ramps, snow peas, a potato pave,
01:18and a deep-fried Twinkie for dessert with Jell-O on it.
01:22Wanted to get some American stuff in there.
01:26So King Charles is here to try to mend the fractured relationship
01:31between the United States and everyone, really.
01:33Everyone in the world has a...
01:35We are about as popular as Scabies right now.
01:38Our special relationship with England is on the rocks,
01:42but that wasn't the only special relationship on display
01:45last night.
01:46Our first couple, Donald and Melania,
01:48who lately have seemed closer than ever,
01:49and I like to think I played a part in that.
01:53And I like to...
01:56Watch them here and...
01:59Watch their hands, if you will,
02:01as they enter with the king and queen,
02:03because the hands say so much.
02:07Melania's wearing gloves.
02:09There's the king and the queen.
02:10And here we go.
02:18Yeah.
02:20Maybe...
02:21Anybody else coming?
02:25Hello.
02:29A little tap.
02:35And...
02:37All right.
02:38Okay.
02:39Uh...
02:40Yeah.
02:40There you go.
02:41You know what?
02:42Considering the week I've had with the first couple,
02:44I'm just going to say that is a completely normal way
02:46to interact for two people who are very much in love.
02:56Maybe that's why his hands are all bruised from Melania
02:59swatting them away.
03:01This is a big night for Trump.
03:03He absolutely loves being alongside the royals,
03:06and the idea that they have to kiss his ass
03:09is as bigly as it gets for him.
03:12The king, he laid it on thick.
03:14He came bearing exactly the kind of gift Trump loves to get,
03:18a big gold thing with his name on it.
03:20Speaking of submarine alliances,
03:22there was one particular AUKUS predecessor.
03:25Her name, HMS Trump.
03:31So tonight, Mr. President,
03:33I am delighted to present to you as a personal gift
03:39the original bell which hung on the conning tower
03:44of your valiant namesake.
03:46May it stand as a testimony
03:51to our nation's shared history and shining future.
03:55Yeah.
03:56Unfortunately, the only bell Trump likes is the taco one.
03:59So...
04:00But that's smart.
04:02You give him an olden bell from the Trump submarine.
04:07What if he starts wearing it?
04:09Jingling his way around the white?
04:10Could be a game changer for Melania at night.
04:13You know?
04:14The king told the president to cherish the bell
04:17and ring it whence do you run low on tomato ketchup.
04:20And then it was time for his majesty to offer his prepared remarks.
04:25He weaved in some commentary about the royal mess he's made in Iran.
04:29We're doing a little Middle East work right now, too, if you might know.
04:32And we're doing very well.
04:34We have militarily defeated that particular opponent.
04:38And we're never going to let that opponent ever...
04:42Charles agrees with me even more than I do.
04:45We're never going to let that opponent have a nuclear weapon.
04:48Wait a minute.
04:49How does someone agree with you more than you agree with yourself?
04:54It's...
04:54Charles agrees with me 400.
04:56Some are saying 500.
04:58Even 600%.
05:00And I thought it was very interesting.
05:02I don't know if you caught it.
05:04And he now keeps saying we've militarily defeated Iran.
05:08It's the war version of conscious uncoupling.
05:11We are now on day 60 of this war.
05:14The White House the other day issued a statement saying
05:16the United States will not negotiate through the press.
05:19And last night I made a joke about that.
05:20I said, right, we exclusively negotiate through truth social posts
05:25from the president's toilet in the middle of the night.
05:26And then sure enough, a few hours later, early this morning,
05:31he posted this.
05:32Iran can't get their act together.
05:34They don't know how to sign a non-nuclear deal.
05:36They better get smart soon.
05:38No more Mr. Nice Guy.
05:40He posted this at 4.05 a.m.
05:43So much for toning down the rhetoric, I guess.
05:46Can we maybe get him one of those bricks
05:48that locks him out of his phone between hours of midnight and 6?
05:52Maybe one of those yonder pouches they have at concerts?
06:01How are the Iranians supposed to react to that?
06:04Is it supposed to scare them?
06:06Wait, where am I?
06:06Is this supposed to scare them?
06:09Best case scenario, they go, you know what?
06:11The old man's lost his marbles.
06:13He can't sleep.
06:14He's cosplaying as fat John Wick.
06:19I think we need to call his kids to make sure he's OK.
06:22Does he really think that this image will strike fear
06:25into the beards of those hardcore religious zealots running around?
06:29After two months of being bombed, they're going to open their laptops,
06:32they're going to look and they're going to go,
06:33oh, Mushtaba, get in here.
06:35This time he means business.
06:38He looks like Rambo and Dumbo at the same time.
06:42But I do want to commend him.
06:44What happened at the Correspondents' Dinner on Saturday
06:46was very scary, and he waited three whole days
06:49before posting a picture of himself holding an assault rifle,
06:52showing a lot of restraint.
06:54And when he's not posting crazy stuff in the middle of the night,
06:57the president is busy putting his name on things.
06:59A few weeks ago we learned he's planning to put his signature on money,
07:02and now the State Department is reported to be finalizing plans
07:06to put Trump's beautiful face on U.S. passports.
07:10This is the mock-up for what they call a limited-edition passport
07:15to honor America's 250th birthday.
07:17There's a photo of Trump on the inside.
07:20The back is a portrait of the founding fathers complaining about it.
07:24And what an expression. Go into that if you can.
07:27This is the look he has on his face when his secretary tells him,
07:30I have Eric on line one.
07:35Imagine the warm welcome you will get
07:38when you hand this to a foreign customs agent.
07:41And read the fine print there.
07:43It says, uh, not for use in whole countries.
07:47I'm not exactly sure when this offer for this passport
07:51will go into effect, but if you need to renew your passport,
07:53do it tomorrow morning.
07:56Because it lasts for ten years.
07:58The next time you'll need to renew it is 2036,
08:00and there's only, like, a 50% chance
08:02he'll still be president by then.
08:04At the White House today, the president welcomed
08:06the astronauts from Artemis II.
08:08This was a chance for the administration
08:10to celebrate their historic achievement
08:12of reaching the far side of the moon,
08:13and for the president to take credit
08:15for them reaching the far side of the moon.
08:17Trump had a lot of positive things to say
08:19about this trip to the moon, which is funny,
08:22because during his first term as president,
08:23he said, for all the money we're spending,
08:26NASA should not be talking about going to the moon,
08:29and now he sent them to the moon.
08:31And he was very gracious in receiving both the astronauts
08:34and NASA Administrator Jared Isaacman.
08:36Are you considering relocating NASA's headquarters
08:40out of D.C. once the lease is up?
08:42States like Texas, Ohio, and Florida?
08:44Well, the best man to tell you that
08:46is the man standing right over here.
08:47You heard that question?
08:49With those beautiful ears of yours?
08:51He's got great hearing now.
08:53Super...
08:53He's got super...
08:58This guy's probably a genius,
09:00and he's making...
09:01Let me tell you what that was,
09:02because I know exactly how his brain works.
09:04I've studied him like Jane Goodall
09:06and the chimpanzees, okay?
09:09Trump spent the whole day and night
09:12with King Charles yesterday
09:13looking at his ears.
09:16And he couldn't say anything,
09:18because he's the king.
09:19So then this poor guy sashays in,
09:21and he gets Mickey Mouse
09:23right in front of everybody.
09:25And then we have this absolutely pigeon-brained vendetta
09:29against former FBI director Jim Comey,
09:31who they indicted on bogus charges
09:34once in September.
09:36Those got thrown out of court,
09:37and so now they're going after him again.
09:39This might be the most egregious move
09:41they've made yet.
09:42Jim Comey, first of all,
09:44is a lifelong Republican.
09:45He was FBI director under Obama and Trump.
09:49He oversaw the investigation into Russia
09:51collusion palooza, which Donald did not like.
09:54So yesterday, the Justice Department
09:55came up with a new indictment against Comey,
09:58claiming he posted a death threat
09:59against the president on Instagram last year.
10:02Now, if you've not seen it, this was the death threat.
10:06It is a photo of seashells and some rocks
10:10on the beach arranged to read 86-47.
10:13And that could land Jim Comey in prison for 10 years.
10:18Now, 86 is a restaurant term for when you cancel an order,
10:21and Trump is the 47th president.
10:24But Trump took this conveniently in a very different way.
10:28And the rumor is that part of the reason Pam Bondi got the ax
10:31is because even she didn't think this was worth pursuing.
10:34But acting attorney general Todd Blanche
10:36is very eager to get the job permanently,
10:38and so now he has to go out there
10:40and defend this with a straight face.
10:42Jack Paskovic posted on X, 86-46.
10:46He did not take it down. He did not apologize.
10:49Mr. Comey has done both of those things.
10:50Will the Justice Department pursue that case?
10:53Because they sound very similar.
10:55That's just completely not true.
10:57That's not how a grand jury does its work.
11:00They don't just look at a single image
11:01and then say, okay, yes, we'll indict,
11:04or okay, no, we won't indict.
11:05They do an investigation.
11:07So the answer is no.
11:09They do an investigation.
11:11They leave no seashell unturned.
11:14Of course it's serious when you threaten
11:16the president of the United States,
11:17and anybody that tries to put forward some narrative
11:19that this is just about seashells
11:22or something to the contrary is missing the point.
11:24The point is, Trump's got his hand up my ass like a sock puppet.
11:29Do you think...
11:30I mean...
11:33I wonder.
11:35I probably should have looked this up,
11:36but do you think a U.S. Attorney General
11:38has ever said the words,
11:39this isn't just about seashells before?
11:42So today Trump was asked to explain this silliness,
11:45which gave him a chance to play his favorite part,
11:48innocent victim.
11:49Do you really think that he was endangering your life
11:51or threatening your life with that?
11:52Well, if anybody knows anything about crime,
11:57they know 86, you know, it's a mob term for kill him.
12:02You know?
12:02You ever see the movies?
12:0486 him.
12:05The mobster says to one of his wonderful associates,
12:0886 him, that means kill him.
12:11It's...
12:12I think of it as a mob term.
12:13I don't know.
12:14People think of it as something having to do with disappearing,
12:17but the mob uses that term to say,
12:20when they want to kill somebody,
12:21they say,
12:2386, the son of a gun.
12:26That's right.
12:26I think we all remember that famous quote from The Godfather
12:29when Don Corleone said,
12:3186, the son of a gun,
12:34and do it with seashells.
12:38Poor James Comey.
12:39This guy.
12:41He has to hire a lawyer.
12:43He has to defend himself.
12:44And if he loses, he might go to prison
12:46because Donald Trump watched Goodfellas on TBS this weekend.
12:50When is enough enough already?
12:52Even Republicans are starting to speak out
12:54about these vendettas,
12:55coming after talk shows, Instagram posts.
12:59This is not the behavior of a well man.
13:01But the good news is,
13:03help is a TrumpRx prescription away.
13:06Nobody said getting older was easy.
13:09You're struggling to stay awake.
13:11Your memory is fading.
13:13Our great first lady, who's here someplace?
13:16Let's see.
13:17I think this is our first lady.
13:19Your dear lifelong friends are dead.
13:21And no matter what you do,
13:24you just can't get your pole up.
13:27It's time to make yourself great again
13:30with Resign.
13:32Go back to doing the things you love.
13:35No more intelligence briefings,
13:37questions about the war you started,
13:39or shaking hands with the French.
13:44Resign will lift the weight of the world off your cankles,
13:48so you can grab life by the again.
13:51Ask your conscience if Resign is right for you.
13:54Side effects include spontaneous celebrations,
13:56loss of ballroom, and firm global erections
13:58that will last for years to come.
14:00Get your life back.
14:01And give us hours with Resign.
14:06I'm J.D. Banks, and I approve this message.
14:10We have a big show tonight.
14:12The Deli Boys are here.
14:13We have music from Duran Duran with Niall Rogers,
14:17and we'll be right back with Goldie Hawn.
14:26Hi there. Welcome back to the show tonight.
14:28They are the funniest convenience store workers on television.
14:31Their show is called Deli Boys.
14:33Asif Ali and Sagar Sheikh are with us.
14:36And then later, they have been in our lives and ears
14:40for more than four decades.
14:41This is their latest song,
14:42Free to Love, Duran Duran, with Niall Rogers.
14:45You can see Duran Duran.
14:48Headlining the Beach Life Festival in Redondo Beach
14:51this weekend here and also at Hyde Park in London
14:55on July 5th.
14:56Tomorrow night, our guests will be Meryl Streep
14:59and from The Daily Show, Desi Lydic.
15:01So please join us for that.
15:02Our first guest tonight is an Oscar-winning movie star,
15:05a world-class giggler, and best-selling author, too.
15:09This is her first book for kids,
15:11The After School Kindness Crew.
15:12It comes out May 5th.
15:14Please say hello to Goldie Hawn.
15:17vacation is not extraordinary.
15:35This is your life.
15:40I love you.
15:41I love you.
15:43I love you.
15:44Everyone loves you, right?
15:46There's nobody that doesn't like you.
15:47Is there anybody that doesn't like you?
15:49I don't know.
15:50I don't think so.
15:51I've never heard anyone say anything bad about you.
15:54Well, I don't want them to, so maybe that's why.
15:58I don't want people to, but they're doing it all the time.
16:02How's everything?
16:04Everything is great.
16:05Can I tell us about a personal interaction
16:08that we had that I thought was very interesting?
16:10Yeah, I'd love that.
16:11So I think I had just hosted the Oscars,
16:14and you and I were talking about when you won the Oscar
16:16in your first movie, which is crazy.
16:19Crazy, crazy.
16:20And I was asking you about it.
16:23Cactus Flower, 1970.
16:26And I was asking you about your experience,
16:28about when you won.
16:30And you said, well, I wasn't there.
16:32I wasn't at the ceremony.
16:34No.
16:35And then I asked you if you said you were in London?
16:39Well, I was making up my second picture with Peter Sellers.
16:41Uh-huh.
16:42And I just forgot they were on television.
16:44You forgot the Oscars were on.
16:46I forgot the Oscars were on.
16:47There's a big time difference, obviously.
16:49I know, but I was sleeping, and I got a phone call.
16:51And they said, and I didn't know it was like a publicity person,
16:55I guess, but they said you won.
16:57And I went, I won what?
16:59I mean, I had no idea.
17:00And I won the Academy Award.
17:03Yeah.
17:03You won the Academy Award.
17:04And I was like, I was like, I don't know.
17:08And then I asked you who accepted it on your behalf.
17:13Right.
17:13And it was Raquel Welch?
17:15Raquel Welch was the answer.
17:16I didn't know.
17:17But you told me you had never seen it.
17:20You did not know.
17:21You never watched it.
17:22No, I didn't.
17:23And so then I found it and sent it to you.
17:26And you watched it, right?
17:28I cried.
17:29You cried?
17:29OK, good, good.
17:31I'm glad I made an impact.
17:32You did.
17:32You made an impact on me.
17:34Yeah, yeah.
17:34But it was really, he was my idol.
17:37And I didn't know why.
17:39Fred Astaire was the presenter, right?
17:41Exactly.
17:41So he was the one, sorry, that said my name.
17:46And he was my total idol.
17:48And when I got the telegram, because then
17:52I got telegram back then, is that he congratulated me.
17:57And I thought, gosh, Fred Astaire congratulated me?
18:01I had no idea that he actually said my name
18:04when he opened the envelope.
18:06It was him.
18:07That's pretty crazy, right?
18:09And you shared that with me.
18:11I'll never forget that.
18:12Yeah, well, I, you know, if I, I mean,
18:14you know you've done a lot in your life
18:16when you never think to go on YouTube
18:18and Google your own Academy Award.
18:21I did not.
18:23That's, I think, a good sign.
18:26Your daughter, Kate Hudson, was nominated for an Oscar,
18:29as you know, earlier this year.
18:34You were her date to the Oscars.
18:36I know.
18:37She asked me to be her date, isn't that so?
18:38That had to be very exciting.
18:39So I was really honored.
18:41Of course I'll be your date.
18:42Yeah.
18:43And it was like a big deal.
18:43That's got to be much better than being nominated yourself,
18:47right?
18:47Well, it, oh, it's completely different.
18:49Yeah.
18:49I mean, there's, there's no, I can't,
18:51I can't talk about it without crying.
18:53I mean, if it was me, I wouldn't be crying, you know?
18:56But with my daughter, of course, it's like,
18:58and she's so brilliantly talented.
19:00Yes.
19:00And very sweet.
19:02And sweet, and a good person, and, you know,
19:04all of the, all of the above.
19:06But it was one of those nights that we kind of knew
19:08she wasn't going to win.
19:10And we said, Mom, and I said, no matter what,
19:13we're just going to have a great time tonight.
19:15And that's what we did.
19:16We all went.
19:17The family was there.
19:18Of course, you know, we go everywhere together.
19:20Yeah, you guys do.
19:21I do.
19:22I think your family's been on this show
19:24more than any other family.
19:25I'm not sure if there are any families that have been on,
19:27besides mine.
19:30Your daughter, Kate, Oliver, Wyatt.
19:33Your daughter-in-law has been here, Meredith.
19:36Meredith, I know.
19:36And of course, your long-term roommate slash lover,
19:40Kurt Russell.
19:40Exactly.
19:41Exactly.
19:43And what I've noticed, because we almost always
19:46talk about your family, is it seems like you guys are
19:49having a lot of fun.
19:51Well, first of all, we miss someone, and that's Boston.
19:54Now, I would say Boston is Kurt's firstborn.
19:56He was one of the great gifts that Kurt brought me in my life.
20:00And a Boston Russell.
20:01And he's a psychotherapist.
20:03He's a psychotherapist.
20:04On top of everything, I got also someone who does
20:08and interested in the things that I am.
20:11It's what this part of my life is all about.
20:12Yeah, you are.
20:13I know you are, Varian.
20:14I know that's why you wrote that book.
20:16Exactly, and why we're here, and so forth.
20:18But, you know, it's a great, we laugh.
20:20We, I remember when the kids were little, and we would go
20:24on vacation together.
20:25And they said, can we not invite anybody else but just our family?
20:28Oh.
20:29And it meant so much, you know?
20:31It's like, we just, and, and, and.
20:33My kids go, just our family?
20:38Aren't there going to be any kids there?
20:40But, but, but, but, but there's another part of it is, is that Kurt is really a kid.
20:44And I don't think I've fully grown up.
20:46So I think that our children actually, well, we model for them, right?
20:50So that's what we did.
20:52You, um, one thing that a lot of the members of your family seem to have in common is that
21:00you've had sightings of unidentified flying objects.
21:05Really?
21:05No, no.
21:06Yes?
21:06Yeah.
21:06Kurt has?
21:08Yeah.
21:08You have?
21:09Yeah.
21:09What was your experience?
21:11I was, um, in West Covina, dancing.
21:16I was a dancer then.
21:17I was about 18-ish, 19 maybe.
21:21And I literally was dancing in, in, in Anaheim.
21:25I thought that was Hollywood, but I wasn't.
21:28But, and then I was living there in a, in a little apartment.
21:31And I went outside and I literally sat there.
21:34And I don't know where this came from.
21:36I don't know except I'm always looking for things that I can't see to understand what's
21:40going on in the world.
21:41I looked up in the sky and I said, I know you're up there.
21:45And I know we're not alone.
21:48And I want to meet you one day.
21:52And that was that.
21:54And about three months later, I was now dancing in West Covina in the theater in the round.
22:00And I got really sleepy.
22:02Like, I don't know why.
22:03I wasn't out all night.
22:04I was just like, somebody gave me a shot of like Valium.
22:08And I said, could I go sleep in the back of your car?
22:10And I said this to one of my dancer friends, name is Todd.
22:12I lay down in the car.
22:14I don't remember anything after that.
22:15And I heard a high pitched sound in my, in my ear, but it was so high frequency.
22:21And I was lying in the back of the car.
22:24I remember looking at my hand and my body and I couldn't move anything.
22:27I was completely paralyzed.
22:28And I looked out the window.
22:30Two people, short, whatever, looking at me with triangular shaped sort of heads, all sort of silver color or whatever.
22:39But they were droning.
22:41And the, the, the window was down because it was hot.
22:44And, and I heard the droning.
22:47They were droning like making a noise?
22:48They weren't, there was sound out of coming out of them.
22:50They were, it was communication through sound, not through words.
22:54And, and, and they were pointing at me.
22:58So the, the next part of this story is many years later, I didn't know what happened to this day.
23:03Was I, was it a dream?
23:05Was that really happening?
23:06But then all of a sudden I just said, I got to get out of here, whatever.
23:09I got to get out of here.
23:09Boom.
23:10I came to this, like felt like a force field.
23:12And, and I was just asking people, wonder what that was.
23:16I wonder if I really saw anything.
23:17In the 1980s, mid eighties, there was a book that came out that was writing about all these different sightings
23:23that different people have seen.
23:24Right.
23:25And I thought, okay, I'll look.
23:26It's like master terrestrial or, you know, whatever name the book was.
23:29And I read it.
23:30And when I read into it, I read that these people that were abducted, they, they, they all were paralyzed.
23:37And they all had a high pitch sound in their ear, this high pitch frequency, but they were paralyzed.
23:43That's when I put the book down.
23:45I said, you know, this is, this really did happen to me.
23:49So now the other thing is this, and I will share this with you because I've shared it one other
23:53time.
23:53But, so a very, very famous man.
23:56He's an astrophysicist.
23:58He's one of the fathers of the internet.
23:59He wrote a lot of the algorithms.
24:02I met him.
24:03Turns out, he's had been studying UFOs for many years working with the government.
24:08And he came to my house.
24:10He said, came to my house.
24:11He said, I'm spending the night.
24:12He was also coming down to San Diego.
24:14This is getting shaky.
24:15No, I know, I know, I know, I know.
24:17But it's not going there.
24:18Okay.
24:18I said, I told him everything I remember.
24:21It's a long time to remember this stuff.
24:23And I remember, he asked me, what were the mouths like?
24:25What was it about?
24:26Do their ears, were there things?
24:27Just all these questions.
24:29And it almost took me back into some sort of thing.
24:31And I, I, I, I suddenly, he said, what were their fingers like?
24:35And I saw their fingers, and I remember these long fingers.
24:38Oh, my God, I'm going to get emotional right now.
24:40But I do get emotional when I say this.
24:43I, I said, oh, my God, I forgot something.
24:46They touched my face.
24:48And what, I said, it was like the, it was the most benevolent touch I ever had.
24:54It was like the finger, I'm sorry to, because, you know, God.
24:57But what am I saying?
24:58The finger of God.
24:59And I got emotional, because it was so beautiful.
25:04But I had not remembered any of that stuff.
25:06Is it possible that you and your family are aliens from another planet?
25:11Yes.
25:12I swear to God.
25:13We were sent here.
25:13I think that's crazy.
25:15To win all of our awards.
25:17I think that's so possible.
25:19I mean, I really wonder.
25:21Somebody once read my cards or something.
25:23You know, you're from the Pleiades.
25:24I went, oh, really?
25:26Is that outer space?
25:27They went, yes, that is.
25:30Pleiades, Plei-70s, you name it.
25:32Well, what we're going to do, I'm going to take a break,
25:35and then we'll repeat that story in its entirety, OK?
25:37Goldie Hawn is here.
26:06I'll be right back.
26:12All right, Steve.
26:13Hey, Steve.
26:14Hey, Steve.
26:14Hey, Steve.
26:16Hey!
26:17That's Goldie Hawn in the Goldie Hawn special from 1978.
26:24You're a really good basketball player, it turns out.
26:26Well, so well.
26:27But it'll help, maybe.
26:27I mean, you beat five guys.
26:29Incredible.
26:30What I liked was that butt tushy bump.
26:33I mean, that was like, I forgot it was that, you know, intricate.
26:37We don't see stuff like that anymore.
26:40You know, it's a shame.
26:41Like, I love that stuff.
26:42They're like, all right, who's popular?
26:43The Harlem Globetrotters.
26:45Let's get them in a sketch with Goldie.
26:46Exactly.
26:47That's George Schlatter, who created Laffin and all of that.
26:50The great producer George Schlatter, yes.
26:54I do want to mention your book.
26:56This is called The After School Kindness Club.
26:59Crew, sorry.
27:00The After School Kindness Crew.
27:01That's what I do all the time.
27:03You say club?
27:04Yeah.
27:04Because I think of, you know, like chess club.
27:06Yeah, exactly.
27:07We had one beat up in the parking lot club in the school.
27:12And you've written this with Lynn Oliver,
27:14who works with Henry Winkler sometimes as well.
27:16I know, yeah, a lot.
27:17She's great.
27:18And this is something that I've spoken to you a lot about,
27:20because you do a lot of charitable work with kids
27:24and their mental health and their brains.
27:27You really are, like, you want children to learn
27:30about their brains.
27:30That's right.
27:31That's right.
27:32I did that 23 years ago, if you can believe it.
27:35That's how long.
27:36You started it 23 years ago.
27:37I started it.
27:37I dreamed it.
27:38I said, why aren't children learning about their brain?
27:40I made this happen.
27:41I put the people together.
27:43It's like I produced a movie.
27:44You know, same thing.
27:45Like, you know, except the script.
27:46I had to get the writers and all that.
27:49Similar thing.
27:49And part of it is some kind of a meditation
27:51that is tailored specifically to young kids, right?
27:54It's a brain break.
27:55But it's actually a brain break is for everyone.
27:58Oh, for everyone.
27:59Yes.
27:59How long is a brain break?
28:00A brain break is anywhere from three minutes,
28:03sitting in a car before you go see your kids
28:05after you've been working all day,
28:06to pull yourself together and quiet your mind.
28:09These are really important things to do
28:11to turn on your executive function.
28:13So that's what the children are learning.
28:15And, honey, 23 years.
28:17Can I show one of the photographs here?
28:19Or drawings here?
28:20This is Mrs. Gold.
28:23Is she modeled after you?
28:25Well, I don't know.
28:27You don't know.
28:28I mean, they did say gold.
28:29So it is kind of a clue.
28:31Well, she is a really cool character.
28:35Because that's where the kids go to get creative
28:39and to get calm.
28:40And they learn how to do a brain break in this.
28:42And this is one of four books that are coming out.
28:45Four books?
28:45There's four books.
28:46And this book is to...
28:48And the reason I love this book is because I remember my childhood.
28:52And it was so much fun.
28:54There were no tablets.
28:55There was nothing there.
28:57I'd sit on the curb.
28:58I'd say to my girlfriend,
28:59what do you want to do now?
29:01She'd say, I don't know.
29:01What do you want to do?
29:03And I think, why don't we get rocks and crack them open
29:06and see what's inside?
29:08We had...
29:10Where we understood that we got in trouble.
29:13We had the kids together.
29:14We didn't have anybody looking at us, following us.
29:18You know, we were alive and figuring out having the best day.
29:23And I will never forget it.
29:25And kids aren't doing that today.
29:27And this shows how kids can be together, relating together,
29:31solving problems together, which, by the way,
29:33is how you create more grit and critical thinking
29:36in your prefrontal cortex.
29:38And they learn how to calm themselves down
29:40when they feel anxious.
29:41And this book is not a teaching book.
29:44It's full experiences.
29:45But if we could remember how free we were
29:49when we were in our backyards and playing and...
29:52Oh, I made the best mud pie you could possibly imagine.
29:55Yeah.
29:56And so that's this book.
30:00Boy, I wanted that alien when it touched your head.
30:04It really gave you some wisdom there.
30:06I thought about that.
30:07When you got face fingered by that alien.
30:10So much came out of it.
30:12This is the book, the After School Kindness Crew,
30:15Pooch on the Loose by Goldie Hawn and Lynn Oliver.
30:18It comes out May 5th.
30:19You can pre-order it now.
30:20The great Goldie Hawn, everybody.
30:22Thank you, baby.
30:23We're back with The Gun Boys.
30:30Tomorrow on Jimmy Kimmel Live,
30:33Meryl Streep and Desi Leiden.
30:35Join us next week with guests Steve Carell,
30:39Jelly Roll and John Mulaney.
30:41Plus music from Social Distortion and Avett Paddy.
30:46Hi, and welcome back.
30:48Music from Duran Duran with Niall Rogers is on the way.
30:51Our next guest star as brothers whose lives
30:53are thrown into turmoil when their father dies
30:56and leaves them his convenience store criminal empire.
30:59You know, we lost two dealers to the Favros.
31:01Mm-mm-mm.
31:02And Reza needs his down payment soon for the golf course.
31:05Oh, Jesus.
31:06Well, I have something that'll cheer you up.
31:08Look at this.
31:09Jimmy .
31:10So his real name is Raj,
31:13but the Internet has been calling him the F Me Felon
31:16based on this attractive mugshot.
31:18Now, this is how the legal system works in America.
31:21You're innocent until proven ugly.
31:24That's me.
31:25TVG Love, Deli Voice premieres May 28th on Hulu.
31:28Please welcome Asif Ali and Sarger Sheik.
31:52Hi, guys.
31:54Thanks for having me on your show.
31:57We're glad to have you.
31:58We're glad to have you back.
31:59I had you on my show.
32:00You put me on your show.
32:01I don't get that courtesy extended to me very often.
32:04You know what?
32:05We really like you.
32:06And I like you guys too.
32:07From the moment I met you,
32:08I feel like we hit it off like instantly when we met.
32:11Yeah, yeah.
32:11And the last time I saw you,
32:12do you remember what the last time was?
32:14Yeah, don't.
32:14You're going to remind us.
32:16You guys were contestants on Who Wants to Be a Millionaire,
32:19which I host.
32:20And you were doing, as I recall, very well.
32:24We were kind of killing it for a while.
32:26You were.
32:26You made a mistake, though,
32:28that contestants make from time to time.
32:30You were hoarding your lifelines.
32:33I think you were up to $125,000.
32:36Yeah, and we really thought like the plan was
32:37we're going to get to a place and then we're going to rip
32:40with the lifelines and then become millionaires.
32:42We really thought we were doing something.
32:44Yeah, yeah, yeah.
32:45You saved three out of your four lifelines.
32:47Do you remember the question that you asked?
32:49I have it here on the phone.
32:49I just remember the answer
32:50because I see a Telluride on the road all the time
32:52and it pisses me off.
32:54The answer was Kia Telluride.
32:55Yeah.
32:56It was a complicated question.
32:57It was hard.
32:58It was mixed geography and automotive details,
33:01but your family, you know, who was your lifeline for that?
33:04It was Hasselman Hodge.
33:05Mm-hmm.
33:06Oh, Hasselman Hodge.
33:07Yeah, yeah, yeah.
33:08And do you think he would have known the answer to the question?
33:10At the time I was thinking no, but now I'm like, why?
33:14He knows so many things.
33:15Why wouldn't he know the answer?
33:17My dad was like, why didn't you call me?
33:20Did you think your dad really knew the answer?
33:22No.
33:22Because everybody claims they know the answer after they told the show.
33:25Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
33:25After they've been told the answer.
33:26Is your family reaping the benefits of your success, your television?
33:30You know, we've been so busy working on the show.
33:32I have a brother that looks just like me and he's a pharmacist.
33:35And so he will constantly send me videos and photos of fans,
33:39because they'll go in and be like, I just need to get my prescription filled.
33:42And then they look up and they go, why is a guy from Deli Boys working at this pharmacy?
33:49And he goes, hey, man, Hollywood's hard.
33:51I told him to say that.
33:55Hollywood's hard.
33:57Hasselman, you are now teaching as well, right?
33:59Yeah, that's right. That's right.
34:00Where do you teach?
34:01At the University of Texas in San Antonio.
34:03How did that come to pass?
34:04We were promoting the show at South by Southwest last year.
34:08And I ran into this kid who had a fancy camera.
34:12And I told him to take a picture of us in front of our truck, our activation.
34:16I was never going to ask him for the photo.
34:18I just wanted him to have it, you know?
34:19Yeah.
34:20And he said he works for the Paisano.
34:22And I was like, that's our UTSA, you know, like newspaper.
34:27He's like, yeah, I go to UTSA. I'm a film major there.
34:30I was like, UTSA has a film department?
34:32That didn't exist when I went to school there.
34:34He's like, yeah, you know, I'm really excited to be there.
34:36It's new. It's two years old.
34:38And I told him, I was like, if you want, I'll come to a panel at UTSA.
34:44And he asked his professors and they emailed me.
34:46There was like seven professors, like, emailing me at once.
34:50They set up the panel. I did a Q&A. He was a moderator.
34:53The kid was. And at the end of it, I joked.
34:55I was like, if you guys want me to come back next semester to teach,
34:57let me know. And they did.
35:00Wow. Is that fun for you?
35:02Yeah, it's great. You know, it's a nice little bit I'm doing.
35:08Yeah, yeah, right, yeah. Do you work hard on it?
35:10I actually really do. It's way harder than I thought it was going to be.
35:16And some of the kids are amazing.
35:20Some of them really piss me off.
35:22Oh, they do? Really?
35:23You know, those are the ones that I really care about.
35:25Oh, interesting.
35:26I really want them to do well, you know, because, like, this industry is really hard.
35:30And who gets to have, like, a working actor as their professor?
35:34Nobody.
35:35During class five, I asked. I was like, who here has seen Deli Boys?
35:38And I heard, like, a, whoo!
35:42And I was like, wait a second. Raise your hand if you haven't seen Deli Boys.
35:46And I have 25 students. And I swear there was about 20 of them that raised their hand.
35:50And I was like, you know what, guys? The rest of the class, we're not doing anything.
35:54I found my laptop. I took it out. I logged into Hulu for the first time on my laptop.
36:00I didn't remember my password.
36:02So I had to try a couple of times. I had to hit, you know, forgot my password.
36:06And then I finally got it on and I cast it on the screen and I made them watch the
36:10pilot right in front of me.
36:11And then did they, on their own, go and watch the rest of the show?
36:15I made it an assignment.
36:17Come on.
36:18Because I can do that.
36:20Oh, sure.
36:22You know, if you could take on more students, you could have the number one show in the world.
36:26You're right. You're right.
36:28I made it an assignment. I'm doing a Deli Boys quiz at the end of the semester.
36:32Very good. I don't blame you.
36:33So it's an extra credit, you know.
36:34Now, is the show picking up where last season left off?
36:39It is.
36:39Yes, yes. And it's even crazier.
36:42You know, we have all these amazing guest stars and we.
36:45Yeah, who's the, who are the guest stars?
36:46Besides, well, obviously you got a real big one.
36:48Our number one guest star is right here.
36:50Yeah.
36:50Yeah.
36:51Yeah, thank you.
36:52Big guest.
36:55We got Tan France back.
36:57We got Andrew Rannells.
36:59We got Lilly Singh.
37:01And we got Kumail Nanjiani.
37:03Great.
37:04Fred Armisen.
37:04Fred Armisen, of course.
37:05Oh man, the best.
37:06Yeah.
37:07Robin.
37:08Yeah, Robin B.
37:09We did, um.
37:10It's stacked.
37:11It's fun.
37:11Is everybody fitting in?
37:13Everybody's behaving themselves?
37:14Yeah, yeah.
37:15They did good.
37:16They did good, yeah.
37:16Getting along with Fred and Kumail.
37:19Love Fred.
37:20Yeah.
37:20Love Fred.
37:20Love Kumail.
37:22Unless it's ping pong.
37:23Unless it's ping pong.
37:24Me and Kumail got a little bit of a ping pong beef going on.
37:27Oh, do you?
37:27Yeah.
37:28And you know what, Kumail?
37:29I challenge you, man.
37:30Who's better at ping pong, you or Kumail?
37:33Not even close.
37:34It's me.
37:35I mean, it's pretty close.
37:36It's pretty close.
37:37I'm not gonna lie.
37:38He's good.
37:38He's good.
37:39He's good.
37:40Is Fred Armisen invited to play ping pong?
37:42He can watch.
37:43Oh, yeah.
37:46All right.
37:47Well, it's great to see you guys.
37:48I'm glad everything is coming.
37:49You got another season.
37:50Yeah.
37:50You're teaching.
37:52We're so stoked.
37:52Your brother sells drugs.
37:53It's incredible.
37:54And we're really hoping, we're really hoping to get it season three.
37:58And Jimmy, I really wanted you to say something that Anne Hathaway said on TV the other day.
38:01She said, Inshallah.
38:03And I want you to say that, you know, we get a season three, Inshallah.
38:08Come on.
38:08Inshallah.
38:09There we go.
38:09Come on!
38:13And I'll see you again soon, Inshallah.
38:16In season two of Deli Boys premieres May 28th on Hulu.
38:20We'll be back with Duran Duran and Nile Rodgers.
38:28Thanks to Goldie Hawn and the Deli Boys, apologies to Matt Damon.
38:32Nightline is next but first with the TV debut of their new song, Free to Love.
38:37With help from Nile Rodgers, Duran Duran.
39:00We're at the intersection, potential in all directions.
39:09Ready for a connection.
39:12Maybe of skin to skin.
39:16That thought is so delicious.
39:22The thought of massive patience.
39:25Who tempt the superstitions.
39:29To bring this black hat in.
39:33Free to win or lose.
39:36Free to love.
39:37To what you want to do.
39:40Free to love.
39:41Free to see it through.
39:45Out there and free to love.
39:53Until this moment only.
39:57One of the lost and lonely.
40:01One of the lost and lonely.
40:01Now you ride a hot star pony.
40:05Across the galaxy.
40:09We're under no illusion.
40:14Chasing the dream.
40:15And all the confusion.
40:18But there's no substitution.
40:20To be the best that we can be.
40:25Free to love.
40:26Free to win or lose.
40:29Free to love.
40:30Do what you want to do.
40:33Free to love.
40:34Free to see it through.
40:38Out there and free to love.
40:48No illusion.
40:50No illusion.
40:57Free to love.
40:59Be free to win or lose
41:01Do what you want to do
41:06Be free to see it through
41:11Out there and free to lose
41:17To love
41:19To love
41:26Out there and free to love
41:30Be free
41:33To love
41:37To love
41:41Be free
41:47To love
41:48To love
41:48To love
41:50To love
41:54To love
41:57To love
41:58To love
41:58To love
41:59To love
41:59To love
41:59To love
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