- 15 hours ago
The Yes Men 2003
Category
🎥
Short filmTranscript
00:00:33Jesus, this is terrible.
00:00:35It's the stupidest.
00:00:36I can't.
00:00:38It's an hour's difference.
00:00:40The time zone is different here.
00:00:42Fuck.
00:00:43It's unbelievable.
00:00:44How the fuck can that happen?
00:00:47Okay.
00:00:48There, that's done now.
00:00:49What?
00:00:50Okay.
00:00:50Got it.
00:00:51Okay.
00:00:51Pull it up.
00:00:53Okay.
00:00:54Okay.
00:00:54Okay.
00:01:03A few years ago, we wanted to try to help out with some activist anti-corporate activities.
00:01:10And we heard about this website called artmark.com.
00:01:13And we went there and they handed us a domain name, gwbush.com, and asked us if we might
00:01:20like to make a website that was critical of George Bush, because George Bush's real domain
00:01:25name was georgewbush.com.
00:01:27And this was 1999.
00:01:29So it was just during the campaign when he was beginning to run for president.
00:01:33And we didn't really know quite what to do.
00:01:35So we went to Bush's website and looked at it.
00:01:38And it turned out to be full of strange hypocrisies.
00:01:41Like, for example, he called himself the environmental governor of Texas.
00:01:43But we looked a little closer at his record and found out that he had actually created
00:01:49the most polluted state in the country because he dismantled the clean air laws while he was
00:01:53there.
00:01:53And actually, that's, I guess, what he's doing now nationally.
00:01:56So we thought, well, this kind of hypocrisy we can easily poke fun at by making a satire
00:02:01website.
00:02:02And we made the satire website.
00:02:03It looked exactly like Bush's, except for a few key differences.
00:02:07Like, there was a photo on the banner instead of him and his wife in front of the Capitol
00:02:12building in Texas.
00:02:14We showed him pointing the finger at black people.
00:02:17And this seemed to get him a little bit angry.
00:02:20So the Bush campaign tried to shut us down by sending us a cease and desist letter and
00:02:25by complaining to the Federal Elections Commission.
00:02:27But we were able to just take those threats and send them to the media.
00:02:32And immediately, the New York Times wrote an article and there were a whole bunch of other
00:02:35articles.
00:02:36And in fact, one reporter read these articles and at a press conference asked Bush, so what
00:02:42about this website, GWBush.com?
00:02:44What do you think of that?
00:02:46How far should these sites go?
00:02:47I mean, this particular site talks about drug use in your past.
00:02:51How far should these guys go before the fraud is closed?
00:02:54There's a lot of garbage in politics.
00:02:56And obviously, this is a garbage man.
00:02:59But how far should they go?
00:03:00I mean, they're talking about cocaine.
00:03:01There are be limits.
00:03:02There are be limits.
00:03:03There are be limits to freedom.
00:03:06But and we're aware of the site.
00:03:08And this guy's just a garbage man.
00:03:10So it was all over the place.
00:03:12Yeah, a lot of people read about it, including a guy who had another domain name called GATT.org.
00:03:17And of course, GATT is the Global Agreement on Tariffs and Trade.
00:03:20And it's the predecessor agreement to the World Trade Organization.
00:03:23And he said, if you could do this for Bush, then maybe you can also do this for the WTO.
00:03:31The WTO is supposed to be sort of a United Nations of Commerce, a conglomeration of all these countries in
00:03:38the world that get together every now and then to discuss trade policies and how exactly goods will be bought
00:03:47and sold throughout the world.
00:03:48Well, I'm sure originally the stated purpose of the WTO was to help these countries who are developing so that,
00:03:58you know, the world community can help raise them out of poverty.
00:04:02In fact, what it's done is it's allowed large corporations to go in and exploit these people even further so
00:04:09that Americans become even wealthier.
00:04:11And the people in these countries continue to struggle to get by.
00:04:16And I think that's at this point, it's upset quite a few people.
00:04:36Okay, so I got to try to remember where Sal lives.
00:04:39Um, it's a little bit complicated.
00:04:41There's, like, the snaking road up over the hills.
00:04:45And who is Sal?
00:04:47Sal is a friend who I met in San Diego.
00:04:50And, um, he moved to L.A. to work in the movie industry.
00:04:54And that's why now he does actually costuming professionally.
00:04:59Builds, like, weird suits out of, you know, pretty much any material you can imagine.
00:05:04And so when we needed a costume, I knew who to call.
00:05:18Yeah, this is it.
00:05:19Yeah.
00:05:22Maybe bring him his mail, actually.
00:05:24As long as we're at it here.
00:05:27Yeah, I don't like it.
00:05:28It looks too much like sex stuff instead of too...
00:05:32It's not very modern looking.
00:05:33Okay.
00:05:33It's got to...
00:05:34This is the future.
00:05:35This isn't about, like, straps and stuff.
00:05:37That's like dungeons and torture in the past.
00:05:39The costume is a manager's leisure suit.
00:05:43And the idea is that Hank Hardy Unruh, the representative from the World Trade Organization,
00:05:48is going to go and, uh, wear this breakaway business suit that's going to be pulled off of him during
00:05:54the middle of the keynote address of the conference.
00:05:56And then a big inflatable phallus is going to emerge from this golden suit.
00:06:01And on the end of it is a TV screen that he uses to manage sweatshops remotely.
00:06:07The reason we got invited to these things is we have a website called GATT.org.
00:06:12The GATT.org website looks a lot like the WTO website, but it is critical of the WTO.
00:06:19Most people, though, who find GATT.org by searching for the World Trade Organization, um, will go without reading it
00:06:26and will send us email directly.
00:06:28So a lot of people ask us weird questions about tariffs and trade, and we try to answer as accurately
00:06:33as we can.
00:06:34And occasionally, invitations come in from official or, you know, quasi-official organizations asking for opinions or asking us to
00:06:42attend a conference.
00:06:44And so when they ask, they really think they're talking to the WTO.
00:06:47And we respond by giving them what we think they want, which is the opinions of the WTO, as accurately
00:06:55as we can represent them.
00:06:56You know what I'm thinking, actually, looking at this?
00:07:00Is it maybe this is a zipper?
00:07:02Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:07:04And then he just unzips it and pulls the thing at the same time.
00:07:06Oh, that could be really good.
00:07:07Because to have it burst out of the Velcro, it might not be strong enough to burst out.
00:07:13And then he'd have to pull it.
00:07:14Part of the thing that gives us the courage to go to Tampere with this really absurd suit is that
00:07:23we already went to Salzburg, Austria, to represent the World Trade Organization at a conference on tariffs and trade.
00:07:29And so there, our representative, the same guy who is Hank Hardy Unru here, was Dr. Andreas Bickelbauer there.
00:07:37And he gave a lecture that focused on basically doing away with all customs in the name of free trade,
00:07:45like getting rid of the siesta in Spain and Italy so that business hours could be the same.
00:07:51In Italy, on the other hand, you have a totally different situation in which sleep is done during the day
00:07:58as much as at night, almost.
00:08:01And allowing people to sell their votes over the Internet to the highest bidder so that the barriers to sort
00:08:07of free trade and things like votes were out of the way.
00:08:10One possible solution is being tested in the field of American politics to streamline the grotesquely inefficient system of elections.
00:08:19And voteauction.com, in turn, employs only four people to transmit not merely information, but actual money directly to the
00:08:29consuming voter.
00:08:30It's a forum for people voluntarily to offer their vote to the highest bidder.
00:08:37And despite giving what we thought was a lecture that would immediately get us booed off stage or, you know,
00:08:43get Bickelbauer maybe even thrown in jail because people would figure out he was an imposter,
00:08:47or the exact opposite happened.
00:08:50Everybody was super polite.
00:08:51Nobody, it didn't seem like everybody, everybody even noticed that what he said was so absurd.
00:09:18So far, we thought Bickelbauer would be very extreme and people would react to it,
00:09:25and we'd get shut down, and nothing of the sort happened.
00:09:30So this time we just have to really push it, make it totally extreme.
00:09:34I mean, we keep trying to push things further to try to really clarify the positions of the WTO to
00:09:41make them very legible.
00:09:42It's one back, but this is good.
00:09:45Any questions, Zara?
00:09:46clinically, you don't need to get that question from me.
00:09:54Andy.
00:09:56Andy?
00:09:58It has a terrible spirit.
00:10:00Yeah.
00:10:05I have to check the web when we get upstairs.
00:10:07Oh, my God, though, what are we going to do about this Patrick?
00:10:09We've got to watch the Patrick video.
00:10:11Um, it's weird stuff, isn't it?
00:10:16That's one way I'm putting it.
00:10:18It's really a problem.
00:10:19See, it's about the weirdest I've seen from him ever, I think.
00:10:26It looks pretty good on us.
00:10:29Yeah, it's all right.
00:10:34And what we have here is that we have our Cyber Andy here, who's going to be wearing the suit.
00:10:41And I'm going to be showing all the different ways in which the management leisure suit can be useful in
00:10:48industry today and maximize leisure potential.
00:10:55Sometimes I don't think they know what the hell to expect out of me.
00:10:58Um, what I'll come up with is frequently not exactly what they, uh, had in mind, but, um, it's, uh,
00:11:11you know, it fits in perfectly with what they're, what they're going to do.
00:11:16Well, I mean, I came out of a corporate environment and a company that I really gave, you know, a
00:11:23good bit of my soul to over a long period of time, progressively.
00:11:27There were a lot of downsizing and, of course, you know, that, the, the company I was with, I thought
00:11:33was going to take care of me, you know, and I realized that the bottom line is the bottom line
00:11:37and there really isn't any humanity in corporate structures.
00:11:42So, therefore, I hope that maybe being part of the yes-man might in some way help raise issues about
00:11:49global work issues and, uh, social issues that are being, uh, brought about by globalization, etc.
00:11:58I grew up in the suburbs here and then I moved to Troy, uh, six years ago for a job
00:12:05at the university.
00:12:06There's a place there called Norensselaer Polytechnic Institute and I teach there.
00:12:11I was moving back home, really, because I'd been away.
00:12:13I'd been on the West Coast for about 12 years.
00:12:17Wait, what is this?
00:12:18Uh, this is, um, it's this, uh, SimCopter, uh, hack.
00:12:23Here it is.
00:12:24I wanted to watch this tape because I, this, this is a tape I've been cleaning out the, uh, archives,
00:12:29you know, and I found this tape in there.
00:12:31I met Andy through a friend, actually, a mutual friend.
00:12:34Actually, two people that we both knew suggested that me and Andy get in contact with one another because we'd
00:12:41both done similar projects.
00:12:42One of the jobs that I had was at this games company called Maxis that makes SimCity.
00:12:49One of the games they were making at the time was, uh, SimCopter.
00:12:53I was in charge of the little people that run around in the game and I made them, uh, wearing
00:12:59nothing but swim trunks.
00:13:00And they'd all be boys and they'd be running around kissing each other.
00:13:04So all the people who ordered this very popular video game suddenly were treated to a completely different spectacle.
00:13:11And so he, he got a lot of press attention for it and it was seen as a kind of
00:13:15an activist, you know, kind of statement about video games and the sort of macho nature of them.
00:13:21It all involves the unexpected appearance of some gay kissing muscle men every Friday the 13th.
00:13:26He's becoming a celebrity of sorts in the computer world, especially the gay computer world.
00:13:31And then I had done a, uh, project using Barbie dolls where we switched the voice boxes of Barbie dolls
00:13:37and G.I. Joe's.
00:13:44And that ended up in G.I. Joe's that said things like, I love to shop with you and Barbie
00:13:49dolls that said things like, um, dead men tell no lies.
00:13:52And we got them back on store shelves, um, all over the country in what we called our shop giving
00:13:58program.
00:13:59We're like Santa Claus, only less radical because Santa Claus breaks into people's houses.
00:14:03We don't do that.
00:14:04So that when kids got them at Christmas, they were surprised to find their doll saying something other than what
00:14:09they expected.
00:14:10And the kids thought it was hilarious.
00:14:12You know, they loved having these crazy dolls.
00:14:14Uh, we sent out press releases.
00:14:16So it was in the, in the news on Christmas day.
00:14:18And for the week following, it just went through every kind of, uh, media channel imaginable.
00:14:25The BLO, the mission of the BLO, the Barbie Liberation Organization, the BLO.
00:14:31That was real fun.
00:14:32Moi, ça m'a fait bien rire.
00:14:33Il a l'air d'un jouet qui dirait, viens te battre.
00:14:36Et en fait, il dit.
00:14:37I love school, don't you?
00:14:39Let's sing with the band tonight.
00:14:40Now we're, we're, with the yes men, we're calling that, that sort of basic idea identity correction.
00:14:46Like saying, okay, these things, these things that are not really presenting themselves honestly or that hide something about their
00:14:53nature that's really scary.
00:14:55We want to, we want to bring that out.
00:14:56We want to show that.
00:14:57We want to demonstrate that.
00:14:58And so, like for the WTO, you know, we think that the WTO is doing all of these terrible things
00:15:05that are hurting people and they're saying the exact opposite.
00:15:07And so we're interested in correcting their identity in the same way that an identity thief steals somebody's identity to,
00:15:15in order to basically just engage in criminal practices.
00:15:18We target people we see as criminals and we steal their identity to try to make them honest or to
00:15:24try to present a more honest face.
00:15:26And so, you know, I guess this whole thing has its roots for both me and Andy and stuff that
00:15:32we've been doing for a long time,
00:15:34which is trying to create public spectacles that, in some kind of poetic way, reveal something about our culture that's
00:15:40profoundly a problem.
00:15:57That must be Sal.
00:15:59Uh-oh.
00:16:00Aw, dude.
00:16:02Are you okay?
00:16:03I'm fucking lost on that.
00:16:05Oh, no.
00:16:06No.
00:16:08It's been a new day.
00:16:10Holy shit.
00:16:11Oh, well, I probably started it in, uh, June or July.
00:16:18So, on and off for a good two to three months.
00:16:22Just a couple more pieces of Velcro and that'll really be it.
00:16:27And, yeah, we're near the end of the line.
00:16:33Okay, look, so here, we're making a list here.
00:16:35Wednesday, we leave for Friendland early.
00:16:37So, Sunday, make, make lecture.
00:16:42Bigger, oh, no, that's a big one.
00:16:44PowerPoint, and then speech finish.
00:17:04It's, uh, 4.03 a.m., and, um, I guess I'll just keep working until morning.
00:17:10I feel somewhat awake.
00:17:13And then Andy can take over again.
00:17:16Uh, we can do a round-the-clock shift, I guess.
00:17:22I'm just trying to add a few slides into the PowerPoint here, um, because actually a lot
00:17:29of the things that the sort of, uh, business leaders of the world say in relation to these
00:17:35issues are actually sort of very similar to what Unruh Hank Hardy says, even though maybe
00:17:41Unruh Hank Hardy is a little bit more frank about it.
00:17:44And, in fact, when he talked to CNBC, when he was debating an activist, Barry Coates just
00:17:50sort of agreed with what he said when he said, this is what the WTO does and this is our
00:17:54position.
00:17:55And Barry Coates said, well, that's funny, I, that, that, that's exactly right, so.
00:18:01After Salzburg, we got an email asking a representative of the WTO to appear on CNBC Market Rap Europe.
00:18:11And the producer apparently didn't notice that Gat.org was not the WTO site.
00:18:18And, uh, Grandma's Hoolitberry, which is another name that Andy just came up with,
00:18:25responded and, uh, of course said, well, I'd be happy to go on CNBC Market Rap.
00:18:31And the producer wanted him to debate an anti-globalization protester.
00:18:37If, if the WTO is serious about addressing the issues of world poverty, it would do things
00:18:44completely differently than it is now.
00:18:47Let, let me, let me bring in, um, Branwith on that.
00:18:49Is that a fair point?
00:18:51Well, of course it is, but, you know, I think, I think Barry, as well as all the other protesters
00:18:56are simply, in a word, focused too, too much on reality and on facts and figures.
00:19:01And I think I would, I would have to say that this is a long-term problem that comes down
00:19:05to a problem of education.
00:19:07We have to find a way to convince, uh, perhaps not the protesters, but the protesters'
00:19:12children to follow, uh, thinkers like Milton Friedman and Darwin and, uh, and so on, rather
00:19:20than, uh, what the protesters have been reared on, Kroski and, uh, Robespierre and Abbie Hoffman.
00:19:26And I think that putting, um, the direction of education being put into a private hand, uh,
00:19:33concentration of resources in the private sector will naturally lead to this result and we'll
00:19:38see the protesters' children being reared with an entirely different set of, of concerns.
00:19:43But let me bring you in on that, Barry.
00:19:44I mean, can I just, just say that these kind of simplistic arguments are, are really, I
00:19:50mean, too insulting to, to most people to believe.
00:19:52You know, the fact that we have a choice between Milton Friedman or Abbie Hoffman for, for where
00:19:57we get our, our source of economic history and philosophy.
00:20:00There are many, many thinkers from around the world, just not those ones employed by the
00:20:04WTO that think the, the World Trade Organization policies are deeply damaging for the development
00:20:10prospects of the poorest countries.
00:20:12Let me go out, uh, to Branwyn.
00:20:15Yes.
00:20:16Um, well, I wanted to, to speak to, to Granwith's, uh, sorry, to Barry's point that there are other
00:20:21thinkers.
00:20:21Well, who, who, who actually has the power in the world and so who is correct in this, in
00:20:27this kind of world view?
00:20:29I mean, I think the answer is, is, is easy.
00:20:31And if you look at the, the views held by myself, my organization and, and, uh, many,
00:20:36many of the decision makers in, in the world, the powerful people, they happen to coincide
00:20:41with what I'm explaining.
00:20:43And I think this is, is enough in this sort of, uh, view.
00:20:47So, I mean, what we have here is a picture of the rich and powerful people believe a certain
00:20:52philosophy, which they then propound through the institutions in which they have a powerful
00:20:57voice.
00:20:58And I think this is exactly the model that is being questioned.
00:21:02And, and increasingly what there is, is a very large body of people who are concerned
00:21:08about these rules.
00:21:09The people on the streets of general or, or in Seattle are not representative of the
00:21:14overall movement.
00:21:15They are the tip of the iceberg.
00:21:16We did the study last year that, that looked across developing countries and found that in
00:21:21the space of one year, in 50 protests, more than a million people from developing countries
00:21:26were out trying to change the rules that were being imposed on them by the World Bank and
00:21:31the IMF and locked in through the World Trade Organization.
00:21:34All right, thank you.
00:21:34We must finish, sir, unfortunately.
00:21:35Barry Coates, thank you very much for joining us.
00:21:37And also Graham with her, Helda Batty, and also Vernon Ellis on the line from New York.
00:21:58I'm looking for plastic bag to protect these costumes.
00:22:05Are you English?
00:22:07Section three.
00:22:13Well, it's not exactly a garment bag, but it's, uh, it'll work.
00:22:21Yeah?
00:22:22You think this is very business-like?
00:22:24It's like very official.
00:22:26You had a big money.
00:22:28Okay, good.
00:22:29That's what I need.
00:22:30I need a big money watch.
00:22:33So, are you as nervous as you were for Salzburg?
00:22:38The thing is, like, even with the Salzburg thing, we went into it, like, sort of, I mean, we went
00:22:44there really nervous, but the whole time kind of, it doesn't really sink in until you're actually there.
00:22:50Right.
00:22:50Right.
00:22:51Well, I think it's good, you guys, like, from what I've seen of the speech, it kind of starts out
00:22:56the most normal that it is.
00:22:58Yeah.
00:22:58So that he can get comfortable and people, he can sort of, like, slowly work his way up into it.
00:23:06Oh, my son of a fucking bitch.
00:23:11Shit.
00:23:13Yeah, do you have a rag?
00:23:15Uh...
00:23:15Fuck.
00:23:16Uh, shit.
00:23:17Um, I have one that has shoe polish on it, but that's not right, right?
00:23:24Screen get a little paint on it?
00:23:25Yeah.
00:23:30Hmm.
00:23:34Sounds like a lawnmower.
00:23:35It's a little loud, yeah.
00:23:38Mm, that's not good.
00:23:39I got it.
00:23:49Uh-oh.
00:23:49Oh.
00:23:50Look, it made a new noise.
00:23:51Good, good, good.
00:23:52Great.
00:23:53Is it great?
00:23:53Try it.
00:23:54And it doesn't work now.
00:23:56Oh, I'm listening.
00:23:57Yes.
00:23:57Okay.
00:23:59I'm free.
00:24:03Oh, si.
00:24:04Plus or moins en même temps.
00:24:07Uh...
00:24:07D'accord.
00:24:08Monsieur et Madame Servin, c'est ça?
00:24:10D'accord.
00:24:11Merci.
00:24:11Au revoir.
00:24:13Okay, 10 minutes.
00:24:14They're both here.
00:24:18Hey, Sal.
00:24:20Thanks.
00:24:23Bye.
00:24:24Bye.
00:24:26We'll see how it goes.
00:24:27Yeah.
00:24:28Sleep good.
00:24:29Have a good time here.
00:24:31Yeah.
00:24:31Enjoy.
00:24:32See you soon.
00:24:33Move into my room.
00:24:34Have enjoyment.
00:24:35Okay.
00:24:39Is this everything?
00:24:41Wow, look how efficient.
00:24:42Okay.
00:24:45Efficient.
00:24:46A model of efficiency right here.
00:24:49Oh.
00:24:51You have some, um, crap on your face right here.
00:24:53No.
00:24:54No, over here.
00:24:56What's better?
00:24:57No.
00:25:01No.
00:25:04It's just a different thing.
00:25:11Oh, no.
00:25:12No, no.
00:25:12It's just a different thing.
00:25:13Oh, no.
00:25:14Not a good thing.
00:25:15Oh, no.
00:25:16No.
00:25:17No, no.
00:25:18Oh, no.
00:25:26No, no.
00:25:30We arrived last night.
00:25:32You had to take a nap, you know, to get some sleep.
00:25:34Oh, I just crashed, yeah.
00:25:36And I went and basically scoped out the lecture site.
00:25:39There was a sign on the door that said textiles of the future.
00:25:43Unruh Hank Hardy was the first speaker, Hank Hardy, Unruh.
00:25:47And, you know, it all looked sort of official.
00:25:49The coffee cups were out for the morning.
00:25:52So I thought, this is great.
00:25:53I'm all ready. I know exactly where it is.
00:25:55We can go there.
00:25:56I had a time, I like set up a little timetable.
00:25:59I got the, you know, maps of the thing
00:26:01and all the updated conference information.
00:26:04Came back here.
00:26:05Then we went to sleep early.
00:26:07Hank was snoring immediately.
00:26:10But I wasn't able to sleep at all, really.
00:26:12I just like stayed there awake in bed.
00:26:14And occasionally I go in the bathroom
00:26:15and turn on the light and read brochures
00:26:17because I was like just unable to sleep.
00:26:21And eventually I think I fell asleep just before waking up.
00:26:32So I'm leaving my wallet here.
00:26:38Okay, let's go.
00:26:43It's 8 o'clock.
00:26:45I think I really will leave it here.
00:26:58Hank, it's a little early to get up.
00:27:02It's all right.
00:27:03I mean, I thought this was vacation.
00:27:06Like what?
00:27:07Vacation.
00:27:07I know.
00:27:09They take me to Finland.
00:27:17Let me take care of this egg for you.
00:27:19I'll just peel it.
00:27:20That would be nice.
00:27:26Well, you know, we're behind schedule.
00:27:29Are we?
00:27:29Well, a little bit.
00:27:30It's after 8.
00:27:31And I really wanted to be at the venue at 8.
00:27:34Okay.
00:27:35But we're doing fine.
00:27:36Is it after 8?
00:27:37It is after 8.
00:27:38Yeah.
00:27:42You know, pretend, like, pretend that.
00:27:52Oh, great.
00:27:54More early.
00:27:56Oh, good.
00:27:59Hello.
00:28:00I'm Hank Hardy Unruh.
00:28:02I'm from the...
00:28:03Oh, great.
00:28:03Nice to meet you.
00:28:04Nice to meet you.
00:28:05We were expecting you.
00:28:06Oh, good.
00:28:08It's not 9.30.
00:28:09No, it's 8.30, right?
00:28:11But you would have a...
00:28:12It's 8.30 now.
00:28:149.30.
00:28:15Is it?
00:28:15It is.
00:28:18It's 9.30, yes.
00:28:20Now?
00:28:20Yes.
00:28:21No, yeah.
00:28:22The time is 9.30?
00:28:23Yes.
00:28:24Almost.
00:28:25Well, I'm on it.
00:28:2627 past 9 at the moment.
00:28:28Oh, my God.
00:28:28We're an hour off.
00:28:30Oh, my God.
00:28:32Okay.
00:28:33Well, we have to...
00:28:33Anyhow, it's nice to see you.
00:28:34We start in three minutes, right?
00:28:36Do they know that he's going on now?
00:28:38Yeah.
00:28:38Well, Professor Nose was expecting...
00:28:40Oh, geez.
00:28:41Okay.
00:28:41Okay, we...
00:28:45I am coming to...
00:28:46Have you registered...
00:28:48Are you...
00:28:49I'm his assistant, yeah.
00:28:50And this also, yeah.
00:28:51We're both working with him.
00:28:53We have to go take care of a few things now.
00:28:55Yes.
00:28:56Okay.
00:28:57Would you like to join the dinner?
00:28:58Uh, yes, please.
00:28:59Okay.
00:29:00Or is there a fee, or...
00:29:02No, it's in glory.
00:29:03Okay, yes.
00:29:03We'll join the dinner.
00:29:05That's great.
00:29:06Um, uh...
00:29:07Wow.
00:29:07Well, we must hurry, I guess, yes.
00:29:09So, please, yes.
00:29:13Um, actually, no.
00:29:14You can't go in right now,
00:29:15because you have to first take care of that business.
00:29:17Oh, God.
00:29:17See, we're an hour...
00:29:18We're...
00:29:19We...
00:29:19We got five...
00:29:20We had an hour off, so...
00:29:21I have to do something.
00:29:23Yes.
00:29:24So, we'll be in five minutes.
00:29:24You have to make a very important phone call right now.
00:29:26It'll take me five minutes.
00:29:27No, no.
00:29:28Yes.
00:29:28I'm sorry.
00:29:29But, uh...
00:29:29But you will have your presentation starting after two minutes.
00:29:32Yes, please tell him that I'll be three minutes late.
00:29:34Okay.
00:29:40Well, there is a detail.
00:29:43Jesus, fuck.
00:29:44Okay.
00:29:44How come we didn't know that?
00:29:46I don't know.
00:29:46That's really incredible.
00:29:49Come on.
00:29:50Okay.
00:29:51Yeah.
00:29:53Jeez, this is terrible.
00:29:55It's the stupidest...
00:29:56I can't...
00:29:59It's an hour's difference.
00:30:00The time zone is different here.
00:30:04It's unbelievable.
00:30:06How the fuck can that happen?
00:30:08Okay.
00:30:08There, that's done now.
00:30:09Wait, take a minute.
00:30:11Okay.
00:30:11Real quick.
00:30:12The shirt...
00:30:12The underwear.
00:30:15Gold underwear.
00:30:17Okay.
00:30:18Mm-hmm.
00:30:19Does that...
00:30:20Do I have to put something through here?
00:30:21No.
00:30:22Okay.
00:30:23There you go?
00:30:24Mm-hmm.
00:30:26Your testicles hanging out?
00:30:27Uh, yeah.
00:30:30Okay.
00:30:32Here you go.
00:30:32Hey.
00:30:34Okay, great.
00:30:37Oh, God.
00:30:39Okay.
00:30:40Great.
00:30:41Got a little air in it.
00:30:42Okay.
00:30:42Okay, now the pants.
00:30:44Hurry.
00:30:49Hi.
00:30:50Mr. Nietzsche, I'm so sorry.
00:30:53Our program for this morning, I'm having you, uh, from Helsinki, I've never met you before.
00:31:11Terribly sorry.
00:31:16Uh, I think the World Trade Organization is supposed to know about time zones, but, uh...
00:31:25Somebody said, isn't there a time difference?
00:31:28And I said, nope, all of Europe, same time zone.
00:31:32So, uh, that convinced us all.
00:31:35Me too.
00:31:35And we were convinced that it was the right time, and we woke up this morning, and we were running
00:31:41five or ten minutes late.
00:31:42And then figured out that, you know, the laptop wasn't working.
00:31:47No, maybe we could switch the order.
00:31:49Could we, could we have somebody else go, and then I go later?
00:31:51And they said, okay, I think we can do that.
00:31:53And then they called the coffee people, and they talked to the coffee people to see if the coffee was
00:31:57possible.
00:31:58That was it.
00:31:59Well, I had the pleasure to introduce our guest speaker.
00:32:08Thank you very much, Mr. Sankari Undru, who is the mantra of business and express in terms of text and
00:32:16spoken.
00:32:18Sankari is Undru, who is the mantra of business and express in terms of text and spoken.
00:32:27His earlier experience with this part of business and the audience has been invited to him a large interest in
00:32:36trades and after updates with markets and businesses,
00:32:39that he recently received a joy to determine his own former success in 1990.
00:32:45Since then, he has spoken on trade matters before very before.
00:32:53He's currently currently in Jesus Christ.
00:32:57The title from the 100th presentation is The Future of Textants, The Future of a Lifetime and a Rampire of
00:33:08the Future.
00:33:08Thank you very much.
00:33:14Is this one?
00:33:16It's quite an honor to be here in Tampere addressing this audience of the most outstanding textile workers.
00:33:23in the world today.
00:33:25I see on all the faces here today a touching childlike eagerness to tackle the biggest textiles questions in the
00:33:32world.
00:33:33How do we at the WTO fit in?
00:33:36What we want to do at the WTO is help you achieve your dollar results.
00:33:40And in just 20 minutes from now, I'm going to show you the WTO's very own solution to two of
00:33:48the very biggest problems in management.
00:33:51One, maintaining rapport with distant workforce.
00:33:54And two, maintaining healthful amounts of leisure.
00:33:58This solution, appropriately enough, is based in textiles.
00:34:05But how did workers ever get to be a problem?
00:34:09Before unveiling our solution, I'd like to talk a bit about the history of the worker management problem.
00:34:16We all know about the American Civil War, at least in the U.S.
00:34:20It was the bloodiest, least profitable war in the history of our country.
00:34:24A war in which unbelievably huge amounts of money went right down the drain, and all for textiles.
00:34:30By the 1860s, the South was utterly flush with cash.
00:34:35It had recently benefited from the cotton gin, an invention that took the seeds out of cotton,
00:34:40and the South out of its pre-industrial past.
00:34:43Hundreds of thousands of workers, previously unemployed in their countries of origin,
00:34:48were given useful jobs in textiles.
00:34:50Into this rosy picture of freedom and boons stepped, you guessed it, the North.
00:34:56Now, some Civil War apologists have said that the Civil War, for all its faults,
00:35:01at least had the effect of outlawing an involuntarily imported workforce model of work.
00:35:06Now, this model is, of course, a terrible thing.
00:35:09I, myself, am an abolitionist.
00:35:10But, in fact, there is no doubt that, left to their own devices,
00:35:15markets would have eventually replaced slavery with cleaner sources of labor.
00:35:20To prove my point, please join me on what Albert Einstein used to call a thought experiment.
00:35:28Suppose involuntarily imported labor had never been outlawed,
00:35:31that slaves still existed, and that it were easy to own one.
00:35:35What do you think it would cost today to profitably maintain a slave, say, here in Tampere?
00:35:41Let's see.
00:35:42Let's see.
00:35:42A finished clothing set costs $50 at the very least.
00:35:47Two meals for McDonald's cost about $10.
00:35:50The cheapest small room probably runs for about $250 a month.
00:35:54To function well, you have to pay for your slave's health care.
00:35:57If its country of origin was polluted, for example, that might run very expensively.
00:36:01And, of course, what with child labor laws here in Finland, much of the youth market is simply not available.
00:36:08Now, leave the same slave back at home.
00:36:11Let's say, Gabon.
00:36:12In Gabon, $10 pays for two weeks of food.
00:36:16$250 pays for two years of housing, not a month at best.
00:36:22$50 pays for a lifetime of budget clothing.
00:36:25And health care is, of course, cheaper.
00:36:27On top of it all, youth can be gainfully employed without restriction.
00:36:32The biggest benefit of the remote labor system, though, is to the slave him or herself.
00:36:37Because in Gabon, there is no need for the slave not to be free.
00:36:41This is primarily because there are no one-time slave transport costs to recoup,
00:36:46and so the potential losses from fleeing are limited to the slave's rudimentary training.
00:36:51So since the slave can be free, he or she suddenly becomes a worker rather than a slave.
00:36:56Also terrific for morale is that slaves, workers, have the luxury of remaining in their native habitat
00:37:03and don't have to relocate to places where they would be subject to such unpleasantries as homesickness and racism.
00:37:10I think it's clear from our little thought experiment
00:37:13that if the North and South had simply let the market sort it out without protectionist tariffs,
00:37:19they would have quickly given up slavery for something more efficient anyhow.
00:37:22By forcing the issue, the North not only committed a terrible injustice against the freedom of the South,
00:37:28but also deprived slavery of its natural development into remote labor.
00:37:35Had the leaders of the 1860s United States understood what our leaders understand today,
00:37:40the Civil War would never have happened.
00:37:43In a world where the headquarters of a company might be in New York, Hong Kong, or Espo, Finland,
00:37:48and the workers are in Gabon, Rangu, or Estonia,
00:37:53how does a manager maintain proper rapport with the workers,
00:37:56and how does he or she ensure from a distance that workers perform their work in an ethical fashion?
00:38:02I'm about to show you an actual prototype of the WTO solution to two major management problems of today.
00:38:09Now, we all know that not even the best workplace design can help even the most astute manager keep track
00:38:15of workers.
00:38:16What you need is a solution that enables complete rapport with workers,
00:38:21especially when they're located far away.
00:38:25Mike, would you help me a moment?
00:38:51This is much better, much more comfortable.
00:38:55This is the WTO's answer to two of the major management problems,
00:38:59and we're calling it the management leisure suit.
00:39:03It's the two problems, again, how to maintain close rapport with distant workers,
00:39:08and how to remain comfortable and increase leisure activities.
00:39:13How does the management leisure suit work,
00:39:16besides being extremely comfortable, as I can guarantee you?
00:39:19Well, allow me to describe the suit's core features.
00:39:48This... this... is the EVA.
00:39:53The Employee Visualization Appendage.
00:39:57It's an instantly deployable, hip-mounted device with totally hands-free operation
00:40:03that allows the manager to see his employees directly right here.
00:40:08Signals communicating the exact amounts and quality of physical work
00:40:12are transmitted not only visually right here,
00:40:15but directly through electric channels implanted directly into the manager.
00:40:20The workers, for their part, are fitted with corresponding transmitting chips
00:40:24that are implanted humanely directly into the shoulder.
00:40:28But the other equally important achievement of the MLS has to do with leisure.
00:40:33In the United States, leisure, another word for freedom really,
00:40:38has been decreasing steadily since the 1970s.
00:40:41The management leisure suit permits the manager to reverse this trend
00:40:45by letting him do his work anywhere,
00:40:47while remaining in complete touch with the workers,
00:40:51physically sensing what's going on in the workforce on the floor
00:40:54through channels implanted directly into the manager.
00:40:57Again, the manager sees the employees, but also feels what they're feeling,
00:41:03and can select where to focus in the workplace environment.
00:41:08So, in conclusion, I'd like to ask, is this a science fiction scenario?
00:41:19The answer is no.
00:41:22Everything we've seen here, everything we've been talking about,
00:41:25is entirely possible today.
00:41:27We can always look forward on the highways of progress towards ever-new horizons
00:41:32with cooperation and mutual delight in the fruits of prosperity.
00:41:37I'm very excited to be here.
00:41:39Thank you very much.
00:41:40Thank you so much.
00:41:52Thank you very much.
00:42:06Something we're trying to do more and more is...
00:42:08Yep.
00:42:09Please, can you please?
00:42:11Sure.
00:42:12Are you questions with the car that next to us,
00:42:16even if it is small, you can ask questions
00:42:19pointing out all of the spirits of the car?
00:42:30I wasn't depressed by people not reacting.
00:42:32I wasn't depressed by people just swallowing it
00:42:34and not asking questions because I thought,
00:42:36well, that shows that you need some sort of control.
00:42:40Because here you can, you know, the WTO, me,
00:42:43can come in and say these amazingly hideous things
00:42:45to this group of the most educated people,
00:42:47like the top 0.1% education-wise people in the entire world,
00:42:52in a developed country like Finland.
00:42:53These people all have PhDs or advanced degrees.
00:42:56And you can say the most atrocious things
00:42:58and nobody will really react and nobody will really care.
00:43:02It's like, you know, what can't corporations get away with?
00:43:11I'm here.
00:43:13I am.
00:43:13I am.
00:43:14I am.
00:43:15I am.
00:43:16I am.
00:43:18I am.
00:43:19I am.
00:43:23I am.
00:43:25I am.
00:43:26I am.
00:43:29I am.
00:43:33I had to actually leave a little bit early.
00:43:36I went over to the table where Andrew,
00:43:39where Hank Hardy had to sit with the big men and eat.
00:43:43And I told him that we needed to leave
00:43:46because we had a telephone meeting with Mobutu Oblongatu immediately.
00:43:53Great. Hi.
00:43:55Sorry about in a minute. We're supposed to eat manduka jubango.
00:43:58Oh, God. At 10 o'clock.
00:44:00And then we both started laughing,
00:44:02which was really not convenient for the context.
00:44:05So we left, and then we just decided that basically, like,
00:44:09we couldn't figure out what else we could possibly do at this conference.
00:44:14So we just thought, well, let's go to Helsinki instead.
00:44:18So this is the paper on the front page.
00:44:21It just said, just discovered it said,
00:44:23it says there's a seminar at the university
00:44:25and somebody talked about controlling remote workers
00:44:30with electrical impulsions.
00:44:32Impulsiari.
00:44:33And then you turn to the page,
00:44:35and that's what you get.
00:44:39And this right here represents the World Trade Organization.
00:44:46This is the World Trade Organization.
00:44:48This is the World Trade Organization.
00:44:54I went down to these Mexican border towns in the mid-'80s.
00:44:59They were called Maquilladoras,
00:45:00and when they first had, you know,
00:45:02the sort of the first trade agreements
00:45:03between Mexico and the United States,
00:45:06and everyone was saying,
00:45:07oh, this is going to raise Mexico out of poverty
00:45:09and things were going to be so great,
00:45:11and within ten years,
00:45:12they'd all be driving shiny new cars in Mexico.
00:45:15And I went down there and saw this incredible poverty
00:45:19in these Mexican border towns.
00:45:22Fifteen years later, I went back.
00:45:23Not a damn thing had changed.
00:45:25Here's all these workers working
00:45:27for all these American corporations,
00:45:29and you just go across the street
00:45:31and you found people living in the same horrid conditions,
00:45:35the same poverty existing,
00:45:37and you had to ask,
00:45:38well, who was benefiting from this?
00:45:40Well, who benefited were these American corporations.
00:45:43During the 1990s, they became even more wealthy.
00:45:46They posted record profits, larger record profits,
00:45:49and the people in Mexico just continued to suffer.
00:45:52It was all a big scam.
00:46:11Is this the one?
00:46:13No.
00:46:14You got the wrong one.
00:46:17Shit.
00:46:19Will WTO stand up?
00:46:20Oh, yeah.
00:46:21Oh, my God, it's got pictures.
00:46:23They're nice, too.
00:46:24Yeah, they actually look okay at that size.
00:46:27Wow, but he plays them on TV.
00:46:30Yeah, this is basically the core of what we do.
00:46:33All of these newspapers and magazines
00:46:35have articles on the Yes Men,
00:46:38and this is why we are doing these things.
00:46:42This is why we go and do these conferences.
00:46:43It's not for the 200 people or the 100 people
00:46:46that might see us give the lecture,
00:46:48although we'd like them to come away
00:46:50with an interesting experience from the lecture.
00:46:52The reason we do it is so that people
00:46:55who read Bizarre Magazine or the New York Times
00:46:58or Fortune or Harper's can read about it
00:47:01in the mainstream press.
00:47:03I mean, this is how millions of people
00:47:04could read about it and potentially get turned on
00:47:07to some of the ideas of anti-globalization.
00:47:11One of the problems with the Fortune thing
00:47:14is that it's in this, well, Fortune,
00:47:18it's like read by business people and accountants
00:47:21and that kind of thing,
00:47:22and that's exactly who we're supposed to be talking to
00:47:28in Australia in May.
00:47:29It's an accounting conference.
00:47:31It's a little worrisome.
00:47:45You need a new shirt and one that's not wrinkled?
00:47:47Yeah.
00:47:48Will that be good with your thing?
00:47:51Do you think it'll work with your suit?
00:47:52This one's extra large.
00:47:54Yeah, they'll all work with my suit.
00:47:55It's terrible.
00:47:56Striped, though.
00:47:57Is that okay?
00:47:58Yeah.
00:47:59Sure, it's okay.
00:48:00Well, then why don't you go get a shirt, then?
00:48:02I'll just get this.
00:48:02Wait.
00:48:03Yeah.
00:48:03Oh, it's not very much cotton.
00:48:05How much is it?
00:48:06I hate that.
00:48:0735%?
00:48:08It's 35%.
00:48:09It's like...
00:48:09No, it's fine for...
00:48:10It doesn't wrinkle much, then.
00:48:11That's nice about that.
00:48:13I'll just wear it.
00:48:13You can pack it in your bag without a lot of wrinkle.
00:48:15All right.
00:48:22I mean, the thing is, like,
00:48:23there's a question of whether he's...
00:48:24Like, at what point he recognizes you
00:48:26doesn't really matter.
00:48:27What we want is that...
00:48:29That moment.
00:48:29...moment when he does recognize you.
00:48:31So if he recognizes you here
00:48:33and sees that you're in the room,
00:48:34then he'll be looking back and forth at you,
00:48:37at the screen.
00:48:37And at that point,
00:48:38if he recognizes you,
00:48:40we better say something.
00:48:45No, I think it's down here,
00:48:46but I don't know.
00:48:47Where is it again?
00:48:48Where is it again?
00:48:49Oh, it's right over...
00:48:50It must be right down in Morris.
00:48:51Remember we walked...
00:48:52It's on the stand.
00:48:53It's on the stand.
00:48:54It's on the stand.
00:49:15Andy, hi.
00:49:16Hi.
00:49:16Nice to meet you.
00:49:17Good to meet you.
00:49:18Good, great.
00:49:19Yeah.
00:49:20We're in London,
00:49:21and we were just at the offices
00:49:24of the World Development Movement
00:49:25where we talked to Barry Coates,
00:49:27who's the director
00:49:28of the World Development Movement
00:49:29and who showed up on CNBC Market Rap Europe
00:49:33debating our friend here,
00:49:36Cranwith Hewlett-Barry,
00:49:37about the prospects of WTO and globalization.
00:49:41We kind of expected him maybe
00:49:43to have a glimmer of recognition immediately,
00:49:45and he didn't, okay.
00:49:47Then we put on the tape,
00:49:49and he laughed at how horribly stupid it was,
00:49:54but he never realized
00:49:55that this wasn't really a representative of WTO.
00:49:59Even when he saw me like this,
00:50:01right next to it,
00:50:02and then we switched seats,
00:50:03and he still didn't notice,
00:50:04and then I had to put my face next to the thing
00:50:06and, like, go...
00:50:08Yeah, you...
00:50:09Let's just pause it here.
00:50:10Okay.
00:50:11Hit stop.
00:50:12Is there a pause?
00:50:12Stop button.
00:50:13There's no pause.
00:50:14I don't know what I could have said after that clip.
00:50:18I mean...
00:50:21Where did they get this guy from?
00:50:23Afterwards, yes.
00:50:24Might have been my first comment.
00:50:25So did you ever figure out
00:50:27where they got the guy from?
00:50:29I understood that he was
00:50:31in the external relations department of the WTO.
00:50:35Right.
00:50:36That's what they thought too.
00:50:37That's what they thought as well.
00:50:39But...
00:50:40But...
00:50:40As it happens...
00:50:41As it happens...
00:50:42He wasn't.
00:50:43Yeah.
00:50:43In fact...
00:50:44Just...
00:50:44Just take one more close look.
00:50:46Wait.
00:50:47Oh, wait.
00:50:48Can we...
00:50:49Is this reverse?
00:50:54No.
00:50:54No.
00:50:58I wasn't going to mention the likeness.
00:51:01Are you serious?
00:51:02You were being very polite, weren't you?
00:51:04Yeah.
00:51:06Yeah.
00:51:06Yeah.
00:51:06He did it as a spoof.
00:51:07Yeah.
00:51:08Yeah.
00:51:09Basically...
00:51:09That's it.
00:51:11Oh, good.
00:51:12Good.
00:51:12We weren't sure.
00:51:13We were really hoping you wouldn't be too offended.
00:51:16We were like, oh, no.
00:51:17Oh, hell no.
00:51:18Oh, that's great.
00:51:19That's really...
00:51:20I was wondering because I hadn't seen that guy before and I did know some of the WTO external
00:51:25relations people and I was thinking, my God, they really put up a right one this time.
00:51:31We wanted to talk to Barry Coates as well because he has a lot of statistics and information
00:51:36about globalization that we thought would be useful for the lecture in Australia.
00:51:41All of the WTO agreements, bar one, are all about restricting what governments can do.
00:51:48And so essentially the whole trading system is built on the premise that the companies
00:51:55trading internationally, investing internationally are going to be preyed upon by nasty governments.
00:52:03And really, I mean, what we have is an international system that is entirely the reverse.
00:52:08What's got squeezed out of the system is democracy, is development, is environment, is the kind
00:52:15of human values, which really ought to be the center of what we're trying to do.
00:52:20You know, we don't kind of live to trade.
00:52:23Yeah.
00:52:23You know, we live to have decent lives and that ought to be the goal of our trade policy,
00:52:29not maximizing trade or getting rid of any impediments to it.
00:52:59That's good, I got that.
00:53:02Need to get the video.
00:53:03Hello. And I'll be off. Let's see.
00:53:12One of the big reasons why I'm up here is that we have the Australia gig for the Yes
00:53:19Men. I did an animation about the recycling of post-consumer waste into hamburgers and
00:53:25fast food. So here we go. The answer to the world's sustainable food future is in recycling.
00:53:34And since over half our nutrients are taken in or eliminated, valuable resources are at
00:53:38risk. By using post-consumer waste, Reburger allows essential nutrients to be offered to
00:53:43developing countries for greatly reduced cost.
00:53:46Uh-huh. Oh. Okay.
00:53:50Oh. Oh, I think it gets better.
00:53:55Oh. Wait, what was that?
00:53:58Was that another space?
00:54:01I think it does the job. I think it does the job.
00:54:07We're here in New York because Herb Alpert of Herb Alpert and the Tawana Brass gave us this
00:54:15award, a bunch of money to do what, you know, the kind of stuff that we do. So we had
00:54:21to
00:54:21come here and have dinner with him and, and, you know, get the money and, and thank everybody.
00:54:26And it was very nice and it's very surprising, but we're very pleased.
00:54:30I think we can say we're very pleased. Um, yeah, it was a big chunk of money. It's going to
00:54:35bankroll a lot of future activities like going to Australia.
00:54:38Oh, yeah. Um, yeah. So we got this chunk of money, but of course now we're also using this opportunity
00:54:44and this hotel room here in New York to meet
00:54:47up with Matt, who's been working on the PowerPoint presentation for Australia and to meet up with Patrick, who's been
00:54:52working on animations for Australia as well.
00:54:56Fortunately, we were lucky too, because, uh, Snafu was in town and he's sort of a, a European yes-man
00:55:02who's been sort of circulating in the European scene doing yes-man type activities, but, uh, it's a good thing
00:55:09he's here, here in the States so he can go to Plattsburgh with us.
00:55:12Yes, trade liberalization is a religious undertaking, a project of faith, a crusade of sorts, and it has been ever
00:55:18since its founders declared that financial success comes from God and that wealth is a sign of divine favor.
00:55:24Now, why is starvation a problem? First, the facts. As we all know, investment and exports have been on the
00:55:32rise in the third world.
00:55:34There's some bad news. There's some really bad news that came down in the last two days.
00:55:39Um, the conference in Australia, the people from the conference in Australia wrote an email saying that the conference has
00:55:48been cancelled because of low enrollment.
00:55:50In some ways it's really kind of, I guess, uh, a nice thing that there was under enrollment because it
00:55:56was really a hideous conference and it seemed like a really dire thing that people would actually want to go
00:56:02to that thing.
00:56:03And so it's really encouraging for humanity that the conference actually has been cancelled.
00:56:08But at the same time it's really, um, made things difficult for us.
00:56:12And so I wrote back to them as Hildegard West and I asked them if they would please set up
00:56:17another venue because Kinnathrung Spratt is already en route to Australia.
00:56:22So right now I'm waiting to see if they come back to us with the suggestion that they'll actually have
00:56:28a public presentation.
00:56:29But since the conference has been cancelled, now the event in Plattsburgh is kind of like it might be the
00:56:35only venue we have for this lecture.
00:56:37And so it's really important now that we get the lecture done and sort of together.
00:56:41So it's no longer a dress rehearsal. It's actually like the final, you know, production.
00:56:49It's about time. I was so worried about your shoes.
00:56:52About what? This guy brought shoes. He brought real shoes for you. Look.
00:56:55Do we have the hamburgers yet? Uh, we have to pick them up.
00:56:59But you mentioned... They're ordered. They're ordered. Yeah, Richard ordered them already.
00:57:03That's fantastic.
00:57:05Basically there's this guy named Richard Robbins who I met at a conference about a month ago.
00:57:10And he has written several books on sort of global, globalization.
00:57:15He was interested in having the, the WTO come speak at the economics department.
00:57:20And only he really knows that this isn't, um, really the WTO. Everybody else will think that it's the WTO.
00:57:26But another good thing is that it will be a hungry audience.
00:57:29So there's a good chance they are going to eat those hamburgers.
00:57:32Which we weren't sure was actually going to happen with the accountants in Australia.
00:57:38You know, I think for a, for a look, I should probably carry these in.
00:57:43Okay. Can you do it?
00:57:45Yeah, I'm thinking that, uh, that you probably shouldn't be associated with the hamburgers.
00:57:49Okay.
00:57:50I'd like to thank everybody for coming.
00:57:52Um, you have many education choices.
00:57:55And, uh, we're all grateful at the WTO that you have chosen to listen to us for an hour.
00:58:01And to our messages about things that will impact everyone.
00:58:04I'd like to, to say that by joining us here, you're essentially embarking with us on a mission.
00:58:11I'd like to start right at the beginning.
00:58:14As I was saying, trade liberalization is a, a project of faith.
00:58:18It's a crusade.
00:58:20And in any crusade, there are problems.
00:58:22There are invading armies, there are big blockades.
00:58:25And one of the, the problems that we run into in this crusade is starvation in the third world.
00:58:31You may recognize that symbol from those green bins you see, you know, where cans, bottles, blah, blah.
00:58:36The kind of recycling I'm talking about that we have developed at the WTO is not, not really this, this
00:58:44irrelevant kind of recycling where the target individual consumers like you and me or, of, uh, non-edible industrial products
00:58:52is such a tiny part of the problem.
00:58:54Rather, we're talking about really recycling what counts, where it counts.
00:58:59To begin to understand the theory behind this, you must first realize that the human body is not really very
00:59:05efficient.
00:59:06When ingesting heavy foods, only about 20% of the nutrients are absorbed by the elementary passageway, while the other
00:59:1480% finds itself expelled in post-consumer byproducts.
00:59:17Already 20 years ago, NASA scientists began to tap into this nutritional gold mine by developing filters that could transform
00:59:25their astronauts' waste into healthy, hygienic, and even delicious food once again.
00:59:30With the use of this technology, a single hamburger, for example, can be eaten more than ten times, providing a
00:59:37cumulative total of three times the nutritional value of the original fresh hamburger.
00:59:44Now again, a certain amount of cultural openness is required, um, as we investigate solutions.
00:59:51And I'd love to take any, uh, questions. Yes, you've been...
00:59:54Coming from a third world country, I found most of what you said pretty offensive.
01:00:00It's as if, uh, everyone is equal, but some are more equal than others.
01:00:04And, uh, who is to say whether people in the third world want a burger?
01:00:09You know, I, in my heart, sometimes find it to, to agree that, that cultures deserve equal consideration, perhaps to
01:00:17develop on their own terms.
01:00:19But, you know, we're, we're different. We're culturally different. We're rich, they're poor.
01:00:23This is the, the most humane solution we can come up with that stays within the market logic.
01:00:27If it's alright, I could, I could answer a portion of that, of that question as well.
01:00:31And this answers the question about desire for the product, because the biggest growth areas are the developing world.
01:00:38And so, uh, in fact, people do want the product.
01:00:42We, we do have a, a kind of video presentation about this that I, I came prepared to show.
01:00:48It's not, the program isn't actually completely ready yet.
01:00:54So, as you, you can see here, there's a consumer, uh, in the first world entering McDonald's and, uh, consuming
01:01:03a hamburger.
01:01:06And afterward, this is a process we're all familiar with.
01:01:10I don't need to explain it to anyone.
01:01:16But, you see, it's rendered out in this style because, uh, studies have shown that consumers, uh, are, are most
01:01:23responsive to 3D animation right now, particularly in developing cultures.
01:01:29So, as you can see, it goes through a, a piping system.
01:01:32A kind of, and this isn't unusual.
01:01:34We do this for oil.
01:01:35We could do this for food as well.
01:01:37And, uh, as you can see, it goes back up through the plumbing and emerges in a McDonald's.
01:01:44Now, the part of this video that isn't completed yet is the filtering process.
01:01:48There will be a, a very well-rendered, uh, filtering.
01:01:58And, uh, as you can see, uh, this might answer somebody's question.
01:02:07From before.
01:02:07But, at the McDonald's, in a developing country, and in fact, in this country as well, you would be able
01:02:13to choose, uh, the number one, number two, number three, number four, number five.
01:02:16Would no longer refer to combinations of food.
01:02:19But rather, just, uh, the number of times the product had been recycled.
01:02:24We're lucky to be able to partner with the World Trade Organization, which, uh, you know, has slightly different goals.
01:02:30Of course, McDonald's goals are to profit and grow.
01:02:33And, uh, we hope that we can provide a nutritious and tasty product in the process.
01:02:37Our goals are to help McDonald's profit and grow and all other corporations, so.
01:02:42I think you guys, like, the WTO is kind of lacking, uh, kind of like a human element, you know?
01:02:49Like, if you, if you saw, have you, like, have you ever seen starving people?
01:02:55Uh, in pictures, yes.
01:02:57Okay, but tell me, if you, if you saw somebody starving to death, you would probably think a lot, you
01:03:03know, like, that would kind of hit you in a, a sensitive, you know, place to say, like, oh, well,
01:03:09you know, maybe markets and money and this and that don't really mean as much and actually, like, feeding people
01:03:15means a little bit more, you know?
01:03:17Yeah, well, it is true that there's a personal side of it that, um, I, I have to say, in
01:03:21the WTO, there are questions that we, we have about this as human beings.
01:03:25But we're not as subject, um, we have a kind of firmer grasp on theory.
01:03:30We are able, um, fortunately, to simply direct world trade in a much more theoretical way, um, in collaboration with
01:03:38our, our colleagues at, at the largest corporations.
01:03:41So, uh, you know, yes, probably if, if I went to these countries, I'd be, I'd feel, um, I, I'd
01:03:50think about things a little differently, perhaps.
01:03:52But, um, at the same time, I don't think I would forget all my schooling.
01:03:56I don't think I would forget, you know, all these theories, um, and so on.
01:03:59So, um, perhaps one day I'll do that.
01:04:02This is a money maker, correct?
01:04:04Yes.
01:04:05Well, it's a money maker, starvation solver.
01:04:07Sure.
01:04:08And how much does McDonald's pay you to come here and speak this garbage for?
01:04:12Did I ever see a mouse with an ear growing out of its back?
01:04:15Yeah.
01:04:15How are you going to get around the cultural and legal implications of cannibalism and basically asking us to recycle
01:04:21shit?
01:04:21I think there's no ethical behavior.
01:04:24I mean, you don't have models.
01:04:25That's what I think.
01:04:27I mean, that's all.
01:04:28I mean, I can't believe the corporate violence, but I'm like, you guys, because...
01:04:34I can't help but feel burdened that way that my, uh, I, I, the way I feed my calf, my
01:04:40throat,
01:04:40I'm actually, that's actually better.
01:04:42And the people you're talking about, you know, I mean, there's not a lot of people here.
01:04:45I'm like, I don't have people.
01:04:46And it just, that seems, we're giving them lower.
01:04:48We're giving them shit.
01:04:49Literally.
01:04:50The, the reality is that we already treat, um, people in the third world far worse than we treat our
01:04:56domestic animals.
01:04:57That's, that's, it's not saying it's right.
01:04:59It's just saying that's the reality.
01:05:10Well, after thinking about it for a little while, it seems the Plattsburgh lecture just went great.
01:05:15And it went exactly the way we originally expected these lectures to work, which was that, at a certain point,
01:05:21it was like light bulbs going off in the heads of the different people in the audience.
01:05:25And they're realizing that it was just too crazy to be real.
01:05:29And yet it was sort of based in reality.
01:05:31And so, you know, they started throwing globes at us.
01:05:34They got angry.
01:05:35They got frustrated.
01:05:36It worked exactly like we thought it would.
01:05:43They don't ask you if you believe in it.
01:05:44You don't get to vote on the World Trade Organization treaties.
01:05:47They don't let you vote on it.
01:05:49They don't give you a say in it.
01:05:50They let you listen to the, to the one-sided propaganda.
01:05:53Name me a single columnist in America who doesn't stand up and cheer under the banner of so-called free
01:05:58trade.
01:05:59There's no public discussion.
01:06:01There's no dissent in any of the parties, political parties.
01:06:05You, there's no debate.
01:06:06There's no discussion.
01:06:07There's no vote.
01:06:08In fact, the only nation which has called for a vote is Brazil.
01:06:13And already for, which is saying that it will not sign any more trade treaties without a plebiscite of its
01:06:19people.
01:06:19And the world trade barons are losing their damn minds trying to prevent this type of democracy from spreading planet
01:06:28wide.
01:06:28Because once people know what this stuff is about and get to vote on it, no one's going to vote
01:06:33themselves into poverty.
01:06:38Here we go.
01:06:40Australia country code.
01:06:42Oops.
01:06:44Oh, Australia, 61.
01:06:46It's 61.
01:06:4761.
01:06:50OBS.
01:06:50OBS.
01:06:51OBS.
01:06:51OBS.
01:06:52OBS.
01:06:52OBS.
01:06:52OBS.
01:06:53Hi, this is Kenneth Rung Spratt from the WTO.
01:06:57Hello, how are you?
01:06:58Good, thanks.
01:06:59How are you?
01:06:59Where are you now?
01:07:01I'm in New York at the moment.
01:07:03New York, are you?
01:07:04Yes.
01:07:05Kenneth Rung Spratt just called the person who's coordinating Spratt's visit.
01:07:10I'm due in Hong Kong the week after this.
01:07:14And that date is firm, but my travel to Australia is as yet not firm.
01:07:20Yeah.
01:07:21She's actually, it turns out, been emailing all these people
01:07:24and basically calling journalists and getting people to attend his lecture.
01:07:29And she fully expects him to attend because she had spoken to Hildegard West,
01:07:34Spratt's assistant, and Hildegard West had told her that everything was on
01:07:37and Spratt was definitely going.
01:07:39So now we've just decided we really have to go to honor this arrangement with Australia.
01:07:45So it's back on now after we totally thought it was off.
01:07:49And instead of giving this lecture that we've been planning for like nine months,
01:07:53we're going to like, you know, just disband the WTO.
01:07:59Should we get you a pair of shoes that actually are reasonable?
01:08:03I mean, they just don't look like dress shoes.
01:08:04They look like wrestling shoes.
01:08:06All right, well, there are no shoes here for you.
01:08:08Never mind.
01:08:09No, shoes are out.
01:08:10No, it's all right.
01:08:12Uh-huh.
01:08:13Around.
01:08:14Okay.
01:08:14Yep.
01:08:16Oh, wait, did you try this?
01:08:19Yeah.
01:08:22I did a set of these with an inkjet, and they just don't look as real.
01:08:26Ah.
01:08:27Something about them, they look kind of handmade.
01:08:29These look perfect.
01:08:31I printed off some letterhead for you.
01:08:33Nice.
01:08:34But you guys already saw that.
01:08:35And I just kept it real simple.
01:08:37That's perfect.
01:08:37So that it would show up well on the fax.
01:08:41That is the most ridiculous photo.
01:08:43It's like something really weird about this maniacal public relations guy.
01:08:47Wow.
01:08:48And a little bit.
01:08:48A little magnetic strip in the back.
01:08:50Really beautiful.
01:08:52Wow.
01:08:53You know what I did?
01:08:54I went to Google, and I went to Google Image Search, and I typed in ID card.
01:09:01And you wouldn't believe the numbers of ID, pictures of ID cards that show up on the web.
01:09:07Wow.
01:09:07And I just went through and took a little bit from each one.
01:09:10You know, I said, all right, this one's got, like, a little barcode at the bottom, and this
01:09:13one uses the logo over here.
01:09:15That's so nice.
01:09:25That's so nice.
01:09:27Oh, bird.
01:09:28Well, airplane.
01:09:33Where's the rental car?
01:09:55now i don't know i'm just really nervous because um i don't know this feels different from all the
01:10:00other things that we've done it's not like the same kind of play fun crazy weird um impossible
01:10:08stuff this is like sincere you know it's like about replacing the wto with something better
01:10:12do you think that satire is more fun yeah definitely that's i got this feeling that it's less
01:10:17for some reason um maybe it's less fun to be sincere but it is less fun isn't it in a
01:10:24way yeah
01:10:25maybe it's more fun to be satirical than serious yeah
01:10:37it's about nine o'clock in the morning and this is the big day for kinnith rung sprat to go
01:10:42talk to
01:10:42cpa australia and close down the wto it's kind of an exciting day for us and we finally get to
01:10:50shut it
01:10:59down
01:11:05i'm writing the local phone number for this cell phone on the business card so if we give these
01:11:11to journalists or anybody else who wants to contact mr sprat they'll be able to do it in the next
01:11:17couple
01:11:19days besides that we have to leave in about 10 minutes though i know i'm just gonna do as little
01:11:25as possible
01:11:30okay let's just go by there we have some time yet let's just keep walking just walk straight don't
01:11:36look don't turn left don't oh okay no don't don't do that uh oh answer it
01:11:47hello michael bonano here hi jane how are you all right then i guess we'll see you in uh just
01:11:57a few
01:11:57minutes and we just come up to level three then great thank you very much all right bye bye
01:12:10oh wait this is the building thank you for coming oh thank you for having us sorry for the
01:12:16confusion and problems and everything else it's to be expected these days i think
01:12:20um no thanks for going out of your way to arrange this this is really terrific
01:12:30um thank you all for coming i'd like to um like to thank the organizers for going out of their
01:12:38way to
01:12:38create this panel this luncheon um in the face of some odds the conference having been cancelled of course
01:12:47and i'd um especially like to begin by apologizing for a rather sudden change in the program uh
01:12:55consequent upon a rather dramatic development in geneva yesterday i originally intended to transmit
01:13:02today an upbeat report on some new technologies that affect agribusiness in a global sense instead i
01:13:10find myself the messenger of some rather disturbing news um the wto will be issuing a public
01:13:16statement in detail by the end of the week but the die has been cast as of september 2002
01:13:23having seen the effects of policies whose only intent was to bring greater prosperity and peace
01:13:30the world trade organization in its present form will cease to exist over the next two years we
01:13:37have the wto will endeavor to re-found our organization along different lines based in a different
01:13:43understanding of the purposes of world trade the new organization will have as its foundation and
01:13:49basis the united nations uh universal declaration of human rights upon which we feel uh we can we can
01:13:57make a good uh foundation to ensuring that the organization will have human rather than business
01:14:02interests as its bottom line my reaction was one of total surprise we're expecting a speech uh more based on
01:14:09what the world trade organization does in its relation to australian trade it sort of blew me out of
01:14:13the water when the uh the announcement was made that the world trade organization is significantly
01:14:18reinventing itself to focus on issues relating to um people as opposed to uh economics something that
01:14:26hopefully could be of significant benefit to uh the poor and needy in throughout the world in all the developing
01:14:32countries
01:14:32the u.n estimates that poor countries the poorest countries in the world lose approximately two
01:14:38billion dollars a day because of unjust trade rules many of them instituted by our own organization
01:14:45and this is 14 times the amount that they receive in aid from developed countries i thought the speech
01:14:52itself was um was was compelling in terms of of its information but it was astounded to find that they're
01:14:59actually going to dismantle the wto i was also amazed to see that there was an emission that perhaps
01:15:06that had failed it's going to have a huge effect on on international business and particularly for us as
01:15:11an organization i feel um the hardest thing i find will be the the balance that let's say the us
01:15:18eu and
01:15:19japan in terms of being major components of the world economy the effect you know will they really
01:15:25change in terms of this new organization and will there actually be genuine change and perhaps a
01:15:31benefit you know to the world's poorest countries i must admit i'm a cynic with regards to that occurring
01:15:38liberalization the process of liberalization often enables the knowledge of the poor to be converted
01:15:43into the property of global corporations specific statistics are rather shocking out of two 26 000
01:15:52patents applied for in africa in 2000 and 2001 only 31 were from residents of africa the rest were from
01:16:03residents of first world countries 31 out of 26 000 patent applications uh it wasn't what i was
01:16:10expecting i was expecting something on agribusiness and what the world trade organization does but i'd have
01:16:16to say i believe it's fairly positive um because i think that this as the gentleman said the strong
01:16:24are getting stronger and the and the weaker getting weaker and you can't let that keep on going and
01:16:29even we notice it here in australia where some of the trade arrangements that are made if you're powerful
01:16:35you can get whatever you like and if you're not you can't and it's just the world with the population
01:16:40we've got can't keep going that way so i think it was fairly positive and i think it's a very
01:16:44brave
01:16:45decision by an organization to admit that they've been going down the wrong track and dissolve themselves
01:16:49and start to look for something different and i think it's it's fantastic disparity is is growing
01:16:55between rich and poor the richest fifth have eighty percent of the world's income and the poorest fifth
01:16:59have one percent um this gap we all know this figure but we don't always remember that this gap has
01:17:06actually doubled since 1960 more and more thinkers are therefore noting that there is no evidence that
01:17:14liberalization favors growth or benefits the poor i think we're all generally aware of increases in
01:17:20poverty and low living standards and issues faced by developing countries and what mr spread i think
01:17:25had to say today really gives a terrific sign of hope for what i think we all aspire to and
01:17:31that's a
01:17:31global uh economy that benefits uh all people
01:17:43now after protected protracted and detailed review of current trade policy the world trade organization
01:17:50has decided to affect a cessation of all operations to be accomplished over the next four months culminating
01:17:57by the end of september the world well i think that the yes men have kind of played out their
01:18:04course in
01:18:05relation to the world trade organization for the moment you never know when we might get another
01:18:09invitation we're lucky to be able to provide a sort of sense of closure by ending the wato we also
01:18:17hope that other people will just start doing the same things in all kinds of different contexts you know
01:18:21impersonating whoever holds power that needs to be criticized so if the opportunity arises we're just
01:18:30going to keep doing it we're going to go and be the yes men again or i should say be
01:18:35the wto again in
01:18:36another event the future is bright for the yes men the future of the world is a different story
01:18:58so
01:19:19No, this isn't the way he usually dresses.
01:19:21He works for the World Trade Organization, you know, the WTO.
01:19:25He works, see, we're at a conference, and he's demonstrating a new kind of technology.
01:19:32This is, well, it's a device to measure employee working in less developed countries.
01:19:39There's a thing here where, on this screen, I can see.
01:19:47See, he watches people working there.
01:19:50And they have little devices that give them shocks.
01:19:54Uh, it's just regular fabric.
01:19:56In the future, it'll be sensitive, smart fabric.
01:19:59It's a little hot, but that one looks better.
01:20:03Oh, la la la, quelle Paris!
01:20:06Quelle joie s'il n'y avait rien que des enfants!
01:20:10À la télé, papa aime la politique.
01:20:13Mama, elle t'aïque aromatique.
01:20:16Mais papa, ça ne va pas trop mal.
01:20:18Quand on se branche sur le cépale.
01:20:21Oh, la la la, quelle Paris!
01:20:24Oh, la la la, quelle Paris!
01:20:27Comment on se branche sur le cépale.
01:20:29Sans que ses parents.
01:20:32Oh, la la la, quelle Paris!
01:20:34Oh, la la la, quelle Paris!
01:20:37Quelle joie s'il n'y avait rien que des enfants!
01:20:42On se dispute tout bien, nous, oui.
01:20:45C'est notre façon de s'aimer.
01:20:47Mais c'est la rime du gros ennuis.
01:20:50Tout le monde se trouve pas en blé.
01:20:53Oh, la la la, quelle Paris!
01:20:55Oh, la la la, quelle Paris!
01:20:58Qui va du temps et que j'aime à la folie.
01:21:03Oh, la la la, quelle Paris!
01:21:06Oh, la la la, quelle Paris!
01:21:08Et que je voudrais garder plus dans ma vie.
01:21:14Oh, la la la, quelle Paris!
01:21:16Oh, la la la, quelle Paris!
01:21:19Et que je voudrais garder plus dans ma vie.
01:21:38Oh, la la la, quelle Paris!
01:21:52Oh, la la la, quelle Paris.
01:22:01Sous-titrage Société Radio-Canada
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