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virgin island s02e02 skyfire
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00:04I'm nervous. I'm going to take it one step at a time. I'm absolutely petrified.
00:10Twelve virgins are travelling to a unique island retreat that could change their lives forever.
00:18This has made me the strangest day of my life.
00:21Being a virgin at the age of 22 feels very lonely. I've just sort of given up all hope.
00:28In a world saturated with sex, more young adults than ever are caught in an intimacy epidemic.
00:35The thought of having sex with someone scares me. It gives me the ick.
00:39I don't feel confident. I'm missing out. Terrified of the thought of it.
00:42Nerve wracking. Gut wrenching. Embarrassing.
00:45All I think about is what I'm going to get wrong.
00:48Can you point to the outer labia? Nope.
00:54Now. Oh my god!
00:56They're getting a crash course in intimacy.
00:59Social media, porn, dating apps. There are so many negative messages and we can help them blossom.
01:06Use it by stimulating the area.
01:08Guided by a team of experts.
01:10You see yourself as...
01:12Propulsive.
01:13They'll confront their insecurities.
01:15I'm hiding. How upset actually do you feel?
01:19Exploring intimacy...
01:21In every form.
01:23Yes. Yes. Good.
01:26And maybe...
01:27Do you want to put a condom on?
01:29...have sex with a trained therapist.
01:31Desperate times call for desperate measures.
01:34Woo-hoo!
01:35...or even one another.
01:36Why are you nervous around me?
01:38I don't know.
01:39It's so good.
01:41I really do need to change my life.
01:43The question is...
01:45Get a room, guys!
01:46..who will finally be ready...
01:49I just, like, get a bit anxious.
01:51..to go all the way...
01:52Touching the hoop guy?
01:54Mm-hmm.
01:54..on Virgin Island.
02:02In the first phase of the course...
02:04Shame really interrupts pleasure.
02:08The group confronted their shame.
02:10Have I got a lipstick?
02:11Now you have a kiss.
02:13Bertie made small steps forward...
02:15What do you think?
02:16Let's go!
02:17..but witnessing intimacy...
02:19..stared up Joey's feelings of religious shame.
02:22I literally thought that God cursed me with vaginismus...
02:25..to stop me from having sex.
02:27And Alex revealed the extent of his anxiety.
02:30Penny for your thoughts.
02:32The main overriding thing is still that worry...
02:35..of not getting an erection.
02:36The phase ended...
02:38For me, shame is feeling ugly.
02:42Sorry.
02:43..with the group letting their shame...
02:44Let it go!
02:46Let it go!
02:47..go up in flames.
02:49CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
02:51Now, things are set to escalate...
02:53Imagine that your cock is going inside my vagina.
02:56..with the second phase of the course...
02:58Good.
03:00..turn-ons.
03:01In society, a lot of people feel ashamed to talk about sex.
03:05It can be very embarrassing.
03:07Take a moment to look at your vulva.
03:09But to have a really fulfilling sex life,
03:11you have to know what turns you on.
03:21Good morning, morning, morning.
03:24It's the morning of day three on Virgin Island.
03:28Oh, here we go then.
03:31And time for the group to discover what's in store
03:34over the next two days.
03:35The next phase is turn-ons.
03:38I think turn-ons might involve a lot of dirty talk.
03:42It is quite a step up from hugging and stroking people's arms.
03:45Talking about, like, what turns you on is a private thing,
03:48but I guess nothing is private on this island.
03:52Morning.
03:53Morning.
03:54I'm feeling nervous and tense over this.
03:59It's going to be a very big challenge.
04:03Turn-ons, guys.
04:04Your aim is to find everyone's turn-ons.
04:08The thing is, I know all my turn-ons,
04:11but talking about it feels quite daunting.
04:14If one of the guys gets a boner, like, they're going to be like,
04:16we're so proud of you.
04:17We're proud.
04:19I'm very nervous.
04:21It just all feels like something I'm not allowed to think about.
04:23Like, oh, my gosh.
04:25No, no, no, no, no, no.
04:31You ready to know your turn-ons?
04:33No.
04:34Do you know your turn-ons?
04:35Harry Styles.
04:37The group may be sexual beginners.
04:40Hi!
04:42But Celeste and Danielle want them to imagine they're experts
04:45and embrace their turn-ons.
04:51People get really confused.
04:52They're like, what turns me on?
04:54Is it positions?
04:55Or do I need to buy a new toy?
04:57But what really turns us on
04:59is the feeling that we get during sex.
05:03We call this our core desires.
05:06This is the cornerstone of the whole course.
05:09Everyone should know their core desires.
05:10If you want to have an amazing sex life,
05:12find out what you want to feel during sex
05:14and tell your partners.
05:16For me, in sex,
05:18it's all about feeling very special.
05:20I want to feel powerful.
05:23I want to feel like they're lucky to have me.
05:26And for me,
05:27I really like to feel like I'm the queen.
05:31People have many different feelings
05:33that they want to have during sex,
05:34and all of them are beautiful.
05:35We don't shame any of them.
05:38So you can just lie down, relax.
05:42To get them in the mood,
05:44Danielle begins with a visualization exercise.
05:48I want you to start thinking about a fantasy
05:52that you might be having.
05:54It can be something that you saw in a movie
05:58or some erotics that you read.
06:02And then start noticing
06:04what is the feeling that you want to feel
06:07in that moment.
06:10You might want to feel loved
06:12or precious.
06:15You might want to feel
06:17masterful,
06:19desired.
06:23Whenever you're ready,
06:25come back,
06:26sit at the edge of your mat.
06:29With their core desires in mind...
06:33..the experts want the group
06:34to write them down on a stone
06:36and share with each other.
06:39You could just play
06:40Knaughts and Crosses.
06:41Yeah.
06:55OK, so who feel like
06:56they're ready to come up?
07:01I'm going to go...
07:02Great, wonderful.
07:03For Joy,
07:04her desires have always been complicated.
07:07When I was in year seven and eight,
07:09I thought it wasn't OK to be gay.
07:13I spoke to a church pastor
07:15and he started going on a rant
07:17about gay people being really sexual
07:19and slutty and promiscuous.
07:21And I realized myself
07:22that I was bisexual.
07:26But sex with a woman
07:27is like an undiscovered landscape.
07:30I do feel a bit guilty
07:31for wanting to explore it.
07:35So, I put
07:37cherished,
07:40revered,
07:41lost in the moment,
07:43free,
07:43and ultimately ravished.
07:46Yay!
07:47That's my girl!
07:51As others step up...
07:53I'll do it.
07:54..some themes emerge.
07:55For me, I think the most important thing
07:57is to feel wanted.
07:58Feeling wanted...
07:59I've put wanted...
08:01I've mainly put wanted.
08:02..and appreciated
08:03are common desires.
08:05I want to feel loved.
08:06Loved.
08:07Everyone wants to feel loved.
08:08I only got pampered on mine.
08:10Special.
08:11Praised.
08:11And then we feel, like,
08:13nice and safe space.
08:14While some want to be dominated...
08:16I want to feel on edge and teased.
08:19Dominated.
08:20I feel like a little bit of a perv
08:21telling you this, but, yeah.
08:22We love pervs.
08:23We love pervs.
08:27So far,
08:28only 24-year-old Bertie
08:30hasn't stepped up.
08:33I do a lot of volunteering work
08:36in charity fundraising events.
08:39I'm the one to try
08:40and get a lot of rich people
08:42to give money for charity.
08:44We're disappointed in it,
08:45but when it comes to discussing,
08:48you know, sexual things,
08:50I don't see myself
08:51as a confident player.
08:54I think
08:57turn-ons,
08:58especially from the more
09:00sexual aspect,
09:01should not be shared
09:02in front of everybody.
09:03It should be kept as a secret
09:05between you and your partner,
09:07which is why I wrote,
09:09I have turn-ons,
09:10but I'm not sharing them
09:11in front of everyone.
09:12It should only be a secret
09:14between you and your partner.
09:15That's about it, really.
09:30How are we all feeling?
09:32I really liked it.
09:33Yeah.
09:34I was just like,
09:34oh, wow,
09:35this feels a bit different.
09:37Felt something in my nipples,
09:38like, as well,
09:39you know what I mean?
09:39Oh, yeah?
09:40Like, it fell a bit.
09:44The turn-ons exercise
09:45may have worked for some.
09:47When I go home,
09:47if I'm ever in a relationship
09:49with someone,
09:49I'm just going to put it
09:50by their bedside table.
09:51Turn-ons!
09:56But Bertie is just not feeling it.
09:58I was the only person
09:59in the group to not do it.
10:01I didn't want to, like,
10:02say things in front of everybody,
10:03you know?
10:04I do kind of feel like
10:05I've been, like,
10:07the odd one out in the group now.
10:08I feel like I've just taken
10:09a bit of a setback after that.
10:12It certainly wasn't
10:13the most enjoyable workshop,
10:14put it that way.
10:15I felt a bit of uncomfortableness,
10:19like,
10:21everywhere, really.
10:24To help the group
10:25discover their turn-ons...
10:27Who's got the one-to-ones today, mate?
10:29..they'll all have one-on-ones.
10:31You've got Elil.
10:32Elil, OK.
10:34Which one's Elil?
10:35She's a sexological body worker.
10:37Ireland vibes.
10:39I know.
10:40Starting with Alex,
10:42who has struggled to get turned on
10:43under the pressure of intimacy.
10:46Sex has been
10:47a sense of anxiety for me.
10:49Growing up,
10:50my dad was quite
10:51emotionally repressed himself.
10:53We had sex education
10:54in school at year five,
10:55and I talked to my dad about it,
10:57and he said,
10:58oh, that's rude,
10:59don't talk about that.
11:01I then became
11:02so embarrassed
11:03to talk or think about sex.
11:05Whenever sex,
11:07or relationships,
11:08or anything,
11:08came on TV,
11:09I used to
11:11leave the room.
11:13It's estimated that half of modern men
11:16have experienced performance anxiety.
11:19To help Alex,
11:20sexological body worker Elil
11:22plans to get physical.
11:24I want to work with him
11:25on receiving touch for me
11:27and recognising
11:28when that performance anxiety
11:30kicks in
11:31and letting me know
11:32what he needs
11:33in order to bring arousal up.
11:35So hopefully
11:37the erections will come
11:38when he has
11:39a lot of pleasure.
11:41Hello.
11:44So the idea of today
11:45is for us to do
11:47full body pleasure mapping.
11:49You're going to be guiding
11:51the whole thing.
11:52Whenever you feel yourself
11:53starting to worry
11:54about performance,
11:57you can just say,
11:58like,
11:58can we slow down?
12:01So take your clothes off.
12:04I think I'd like
12:05to keep my boxers on.
12:07Yeah.
12:07OK.
12:08Pleasure mapping
12:09is an exercise
12:10where Elil touches Alex
12:12all over his body.
12:13So we can start
12:14laying down.
12:16Including his genitals
12:17so Alex can lie back
12:20and concentrate on pleasure.
12:22Is this the touch that...
12:23That feels nice.
12:24Yeah.
12:27I've heard
12:28three people
12:29that I would describe
12:30as a girlfriend.
12:33But I never had
12:34sex with anyone.
12:36The first time I tried
12:37I had a panic attack.
12:38I was so nervous
12:39I couldn't get an erection.
12:40And I then
12:43convinced myself
12:44that sex is something,
12:46I guess, scary
12:47or nerve-wracking.
12:48It's constantly
12:49playing on my mind.
12:52Is this the right speed?
12:53Yeah, that's great.
12:57Very erotic.
12:58So touching close
13:00to your underwear line
13:01it's almost like
13:02teasing you.
13:03Yeah.
13:04All right.
13:07What are you noticing?
13:08Getting more turned on.
13:10Mm-hmm.
13:11Really getting, like, excited.
13:13Mm-hmm.
13:15It felt really nice
13:16when you were brushing
13:16past my genitals.
13:17Would you like me to do that?
13:19Yeah, yeah, yeah.
13:22And I love
13:23when you move like that
13:24it kind of really
13:25lets me know
13:26that you're enjoying yourself.
13:39All right.
13:42Amazing.
13:43Amazing, amazing, amazing.
13:46I'm going to take my hand off
13:48very slowly.
13:51So, did you feel me
13:53fully aroused?
13:54Yeah.
13:55Could you feel you
13:56fully aroused?
13:57Yeah, yeah.
13:59Amazing.
14:01Have you ever felt
14:02aroused like that
14:03with someone?
14:04Not like that.
14:05Not to the point
14:05where I'm, like,
14:07moving my hips
14:08and feeling tingly.
14:09You are very, very erect.
14:11Yeah.
14:11You did so good.
14:13Thank you so much.
14:15Bye-bye.
14:16I don't think
14:17I've ever felt
14:17that sort of
14:18level of eroticism before.
14:20She's just had
14:20such a calming presence.
14:22So, yeah,
14:22feeling really good
14:23and sort of
14:24inspires confidence
14:24going forward.
14:30Hey, guys.
14:31How did your
14:32one-on-one go?
14:32Good.
14:33It went into
14:33genital touching
14:34and, yeah,
14:35that felt really good.
14:37I bet.
14:49It was really
14:49windy last night.
14:51Yeah.
14:51Like, for a while,
14:52I think, like,
14:52my tent was
14:53going to blow away.
14:54Oh, my God,
14:54do a Dorothy.
14:56Go to the
14:56yellow brick road.
14:57Celeste and Danielle
14:58have turned into
14:58a tin man
14:59and a scarecrow.
15:01I'd probably be
15:02the lion
15:02because I'm
15:02the cowardly one.
15:06It's the afternoon
15:07on Virgin Island.
15:09How does that feel?
15:11Yeah.
15:11Yeah, it feels good.
15:13As the one-on-one
15:14sessions continue...
15:15It's good.
15:16You seem more
15:17open to me.
15:18Just baby steps.
15:20The turn-on phase
15:21of the course
15:22is gathering pace.
15:23May I direct you
15:25in touching my breasts?
15:27Yeah.
15:27Yes.
15:28And a little more
15:29pressure.
15:30OK.
15:31Yeah.
15:33And the group
15:34continues to open
15:35up to each other.
15:37When I was at school,
15:38all the boys, like,
15:39would walk past
15:40and be like,
15:41oh, you're all lesbians
15:42because you go
15:42to an all-girls school.
15:43Yeah.
15:44When I was, like,
15:4612,
15:46I remember thinking,
15:47oh, my gosh,
15:47why has God
15:48given me so many
15:49gay friends?
15:50I now have to
15:50convert all of them.
15:51It took me a couple
15:52of years to realise
15:52that I was, in fact,
15:53one of them.
15:57Years of sexual anxiety
15:59have taken a physical
16:00toll on Joy.
16:02I have vaginismus.
16:03This physical
16:04and psychological problem
16:05causes pain.
16:07If I can't insert
16:08a finger into my vagina,
16:10you know,
16:10how can I physically
16:11have sex?
16:12With guidance
16:13from Malil,
16:14she'll learn how
16:15to relax her body
16:16around touch.
16:17We can actually
16:18practise towards
16:20penetration
16:21in a very slow
16:23process,
16:23creating an alignment
16:25between what the head
16:26wants to do
16:27and what the body
16:28actually feels
16:29comfortable with.
16:31Hello, beautiful.
16:36So our intention
16:37for today is
16:38if you feel comfortable,
16:39we can explore
16:40the opening
16:40of your vagina.
16:42Sometimes that's
16:43been hard
16:44because it all,
16:44like, closed up.
16:46Maybe we can
16:47see it today.
16:51I want you
16:52to just start
16:53by maybe putting
16:53your hands
16:54on your vulva.
16:57Would you like
16:58to have a look
16:59where you're touching?
17:00Elil encourages Joy
17:02to explore her body.
17:03Oh my gosh,
17:04this is so weird.
17:04Can you see?
17:05And in doing so,
17:07change the way
17:07she feels about it.
17:09Take a moment
17:10to look at your vulva
17:11and connect to her.
17:15She's beautiful.
17:16It's weird
17:17because I feel
17:17like she looks ugly.
17:19When I was 12,
17:20I had this realization
17:22that I had been
17:23masturbating.
17:24I went to Christian camp
17:26and there was
17:27this call
17:27to come to the front
17:28for prayer
17:29for sexual sin.
17:31I felt convicted.
17:33Like, oh my gosh,
17:33they're speaking about me.
17:34I've sinned.
17:35And I told my youth pastor
17:38and then she staged
17:40an intervention.
17:41Yeah, it stuck with me.
17:43It's been hard
17:44to get that out of my head.
17:46And now,
17:46I want to be free
17:47to explore
17:48a sexual side to myself.
17:50I want to enjoy my life
17:51and accept myself.
17:54So what part
17:55are you curious about?
17:57I think I want
17:58to just touch
17:59the outer labia.
18:01Awesome.
18:02You can do
18:03like that.
18:04You can, like,
18:05bring a little bit
18:06of vibration.
18:09That's quite nice.
18:10Bit of rousing.
18:12Yeah.
18:13Do you want to try
18:13it with oil?
18:14Yeah.
18:17Put it all over
18:18your vulva.
18:22It does feel
18:23totally different.
18:24Yeah.
18:25Can you see your opening?
18:27You can see a tiny dot there?
18:29Yeah.
18:29So that's your,
18:30that's your clit.
18:31Oh, that's so interesting.
18:32The clit is like
18:33a miniature penis.
18:34You will feel
18:35there's like a
18:35shaft.
18:37See if you can
18:38feel the shaft.
18:39OK.
18:41Sexological bodywork
18:42includes one-way touch.
18:44Can I?
18:45Yeah.
18:46Here.
18:47Oh.
18:49Allowing a lil
18:50with consent
18:51to help joy
18:52discover pleasure.
18:54So how does it feel?
18:55It feels really good.
18:57I can feel arousal.
18:59That's new.
19:06awesome.
19:08Thank you very much
19:09for giving me
19:09this experience.
19:11It's such a precious
19:12feeling.
19:13It feels
19:13really special.
19:17It's like she's safe.
19:20She's safe.
19:21She's good.
19:23You got her.
19:24Yeah.
19:25And I know what
19:26she looks like now
19:27as well.
19:34Hiya.
19:35How was your thingy?
19:37Um, it was really good.
19:40Was it?
19:40Yeah, it was really good.
19:41She was like,
19:42you need to focus on
19:43what feels good for you.
19:55Yeah.
19:55I was so pleased
19:56that I felt like
19:57we just had this
19:57breakthrough.
20:01Joy has leapt forwards
20:03but not everyone
20:04is riding high.
20:05Bertie, would you
20:06like to join us
20:06slash would you
20:07like a blanket?
20:08Um, go on then.
20:10What, go on then
20:11to the blanket
20:12or go on then
20:13to joining us?
20:13I'll see what I'll do.
20:15See how you feel?
20:16Yeah.
20:16I think it's quite
20:17a chill convert at the moment.
20:18Yeah, I'll see what I can do.
20:19Lovely to talk to you.
20:21Nice to talk to you.
20:22I can socialise,
20:23don't worry.
20:24I know you can.
20:24I'm just inviting you to.
20:26I'll see.
20:41Here are the clipboards.
20:44It's late afternoon.
20:46This questionnaire
20:47is multiple choice.
20:48Please choose all that apply.
20:50To help the group
20:51explore the type of person
20:53that turns them on,
20:54I've put boobs
20:55so far.
20:56The experts have
20:57handed out
20:58a list of questions.
21:00Body hair.
21:01I like my girls
21:02with a full beard, mate.
21:05Face shape.
21:06I've never thought
21:06about this.
21:07What's mine?
21:08Squirt.
21:10Are you calling me a squid?
21:12I don't think the colour of hair
21:15or the colour of eyes matter
21:18as long as the hair looks presentable.
21:21Great hygiene.
21:23Yeah.
21:24Clean hands.
21:25Clean nails.
21:26And they've got to have,
21:28I'm going to put,
21:29banter.
21:31You know,
21:32you've got to banter.
21:34For Marianne,
21:36the questionnaire proves revealing.
21:38Ideal first date setting.
21:41I just want to go hiking
21:43and then have a picnic somewhere,
21:44but then I don't really necessarily
21:46want to be alone
21:46with a guy hiking
21:47on the first date.
21:48Yeah.
21:49It depends on how safe I feel,
21:51you know.
21:53A lot goes on
21:55in my head all the time
21:57because I was diagnosed
21:58with ADHD
21:58when I was about four
22:00and there's just
22:00a lot of emotions.
22:02Like, I'm never not
22:03thinking about safety.
22:05Like, when people do
22:05one night stands
22:06in my head,
22:06I'm like,
22:07X, Y, Z could go wrong.
22:08How are you going
22:09to an unknown place
22:09with this?
22:10My brain goes
22:11sort of into overdrive.
22:14I don't trust men.
22:17Right.
22:17We're done, dusted.
22:18High five.
22:20Cool.
22:21Yeah, I know it is me,
22:23but I don't know
22:23how to move forward.
22:28Marianne is very much
22:30in her head.
22:32She's trying to manage
22:33her boundaries
22:35so she won't get hurt.
22:37And in that way,
22:38she's holding herself back
22:40from fully experiencing life.
22:44Good to see you.
22:46Danielle wants to try
22:48and help Marianne
22:49confront her barriers.
22:51What do you want
22:52for yourself
22:53in the retreat?
22:54When it comes to
22:54sort of entity,
22:55I always just have,
22:57I'm just,
22:57my first thought
22:58is just safety.
22:59So a lot of what
23:00you're trying to do now
23:01is really, like,
23:03keep yourself in check.
23:07If, like,
23:07it just feels like
23:09I'm all alone
23:10and I have to put up a guard.
23:12I'm just saying
23:12sort of no to everything.
23:13and I think
23:14my younger self
23:15feels quite sad
23:16that I'm still stuck
23:17with that feeling.
23:28I feel like
23:29I had a lot of issues
23:30growing up in South Africa.
23:31In school,
23:32I was one of three
23:33mixed-race girls
23:35and we didn't really
23:36know how to fit in
23:37because we weren't,
23:37like, black enough
23:38for the black guys,
23:39white enough
23:39for the white guys.
23:41I get viewed
23:42as this exotic thing.
23:45Sweetheart.
23:46It's okay if I put my hand
23:47on my hair.
23:49It has been sort of,
23:50like, a competition
23:50of guys.
23:51They would never be
23:52in a relationship with us,
23:53but they just want to,
23:54like, get our clothes off
23:55and so it's really,
23:56really hard for me
23:57to, like, trust men.
24:01I just feel
24:03that I'm missing out
24:05on things
24:05and I can't differentiate,
24:07like, what's actual fear
24:08and what's just, like...
24:10Protection.
24:11Yeah.
24:13Can I please have a hug?
24:15Aw, I would love to.
24:20Marianne needs to learn
24:22to trust
24:22that men
24:23don't necessarily
24:24want to take advantage
24:26of her.
24:27And working with men
24:29to deal with
24:30all those issues,
24:31that's her biggest challenge
24:33on the island.
24:38Ah.
24:42Thank you so much.
24:44My pleasure.
24:46I knew I was gonna
24:48be emotional,
24:49but everything sort of
24:50hit me.
24:58It was nice to have
24:59this session
25:00because, like,
25:01I can just
25:01think more clearly
25:03about what's to come,
25:05but that's quite daunting.
25:21morning.
25:22Morning.
25:22Morning, Marianne.
25:23Morning, Marianne.
25:25Another day begins
25:26on Virgin Island.
25:28Oh, I've got hot dog down my boot.
25:31That'd be a treat for someone later.
25:35And it's the turn-ons phase of the course.
25:38Never knock a proper cover.
25:40This phase is pretty intimidating.
25:42I always thought myself
25:44as dead playful,
25:46dead flirty,
25:47but I started being really sheltered,
25:49so I do feel like
25:50I've got a lot to learn.
25:54I personally feel a bit deflated,
25:57a bit dejected.
25:58I'm lacking behind.
26:00I know it's a marathon
26:01and not a sprint,
26:02but some people are running.
26:05I'm trudging.
26:08The phase is exposing
26:10deep-seated fears.
26:14When it comes to younger people
26:15around intimacy and touch,
26:18there's just a lot more
26:19self-consciousness.
26:20A lot of people are afraid,
26:21you know,
26:21oh, maybe I'm going to get cancelled
26:23or cross a boundary.
26:25Nowadays,
26:25there is a lot of risk
26:26in saying the wrong thing.
26:28Like, if I make a weird,
26:29stupid mistake
26:30talking to a girl,
26:32that's done, isn't it?
26:33I don't want to do
26:33something wrong.
26:34I don't want to do things
26:36too fast or too slow.
26:38If I do come across
26:39as a creep in any way,
26:40shape or form,
26:40I don't mean to.
26:42I'm so scared
26:42of the thought
26:43of that happening.
26:44What do you think
26:45we're going to do?
26:46I have no idea.
26:49Having already worked
26:50on discovering
26:51their turn-ons...
26:52Oh, this is so scary.
26:55Celeste and Danielle
26:56now want the group
26:57to feel it in their bodies.
26:59This is a really safe place
27:01that we can practice
27:02touching all over
27:03each other's bodies.
27:04This exercise can definitely
27:06get people aroused
27:07and, frankly,
27:08I hope it does.
27:13Okay.
27:14One of the things
27:15that really gets in the way
27:17of us feeling our turn-ons
27:19is inhibition.
27:20And today's workshop
27:22is all about letting out
27:24your inner animal.
27:35sex doesn't have to be
27:37this thing that is very curated.
27:39It can be animalistic
27:40and fun.
27:41Animal game,
27:42you don't need much
27:43to be good at it.
27:44It's more about connecting
27:45with your own impulses
27:47and unleashing
27:48your inner animal.
27:52There's another animal
27:55just next to you.
27:58And you can smell...
28:05Yes!
28:26Who's...
28:27And also in other
28:37Laugh-gasm!
28:39Laugh-gasm!
28:45OK. I'm looking for a brave volunteer.
28:55Birdie? I've got an injured foot.
28:58I know it sounds like a lame excuse, but with, like, my foot and everything...
29:02OK. Anyone else?
29:04Can I do it with you, Marianne? Yeah. I'm going to go with Marianne.
29:07Great. Wonderful.
29:10Joy takes the opportunity to practise with a woman.
29:15So just take some nice, deep breaths in and out.
29:22When you feel ready, start exploring each other with your hands.
29:32Good. I love the way you're staying with the sensation and with your own bodies.
29:52And how was that for you?
29:54Marianne made me feel very safe.
29:56Same! It was very fun.
30:01As more of the group step up...
30:03Just follow what your body wants to do.
30:06Yeah.
30:07Their animal instincts start to emerge.
30:13Touching and sensing...
30:24Anyone else?
30:28Fuck it.
30:29Yes, Bertie.
30:31Up until now, Bertie keeps holding back.
30:35If I don't do it now, I'll regret it later.
30:38I think this is the worst time to be a young adult.
30:43Because if you're someone like me who struggles with approaching and talking to women, it's near impossible.
30:51Right.
30:52I constantly think about what I could do wrong rather than what I could do right.
30:58But I have to do this because I want to improve my life.
31:05Start noticing that there's an animal inside you and you can rub against them.
31:16You can hold...
31:18Are you okay?
31:20I'm good, yeah.
31:20Yeah?
31:21You sure?
31:22Yeah, I'm fine.
31:23You get in a comfy position?
31:24Yeah.
31:32That's okay.
31:33Yeah?
31:33Let yourself feel how good it feels.
31:48I think we're done.
31:49Yeah, that makes sense.
31:50Yeah.
31:54Amazing.
31:54You want to share a little bit?
31:56I was a bit apprehensive about doing it at first.
31:58I mean, I thought you were doing a good job.
31:59It just all felt natural and not really nice.
32:02You've got nice hair to touch as well.
32:03All that wax has come in handy.
32:05That's what it is.
32:07Nice.
32:10There we go.
32:11Well done to you.
32:20So, how was that?
32:22I was still in that like, ooh, frisky mood, let's say.
32:27And I was like, okay.
32:28So I'm going to just have to calm myself back down and start from Bertie's level.
32:32All right, Bertie.
32:33Hello.
32:34How did you find it?
32:35Good, good.
32:36You had the right amount of pressure on me that I like.
32:38It felt so natural and I was like, this is...
32:41Yeah.
32:43To say this is one of the bravest things I've done would be the understatement of the millennium.
32:48This isn't peer pressure or anything like that.
32:51I just feel like I kind of have to participate because if I am going on this island to be
32:58the same old person that I was for all my life, what am I doing here?
33:05As the course is going on, I can see people learning and changing.
33:09Everybody's trying new things.
33:11But for some people, therapy is very slow and totally goes at the pace of the client.
33:22Bertie may be working things out, but discovering turn-ons for some is slow progress.
33:28Guys, do you like hairy vaginas?
33:31I actually don't care.
33:33Yeah.
33:34Each to their own.
33:35And it starts coming out of their nickel line and you're like, oh, God, you need to shave.
33:39Oh, no.
33:40I don't really look after myself very much, but...
33:43No-one's seeing it, so...
33:45After this, that won't be true.
33:50Intimacy is challenging for everyone on the island.
33:53But for 21-year-old Callum, it's also linked to tragedy.
33:58My dad passed away two years ago.
34:01He was an alcoholic.
34:05Erm...
34:06I don't really know how to respond to it.
34:10I'm living on my own in his house where he used to live and probably spend...
34:16It's probably about 16 hours a day gaming.
34:19Erm...
34:20I suppose it is a way to escape everything in the world.
34:24I struggle to meet people in person.
34:26It makes me feel...
34:29Alone.
34:33The experts want Callum to tackle his grief.
34:37Hi. Hello.
34:38With clinical therapist, Abby.
34:44Are there times in your life where you felt uncomfortable talking about these things?
34:48Yeah, I think so.
34:50I'm never really honest or open.
34:52I think it was when my dad passed that I really started to notice a lot of the stuff about
34:56myself.
34:57Talk to me a little bit about that.
35:01I really punished myself about everything.
35:04Yeah, he got admitted to hospital because he'd fallen.
35:07He was on the floor for two days and he couldn't get up.
35:10He couldn't reach his phone to tell anyone.
35:12Yeah.
35:13And the next day, being told that, you know, he's not got long left to live, so...
35:18He died within two weeks.
35:20Yeah.
35:21He got...
35:22It's okay.
35:24Liver cirrhosis.
35:26Talk about the feeling that comes up around that.
35:28I still feel like I...
35:30I failed him.
35:31That's not...
35:32It's not for you to take on.
35:38Is it reasonable for you to take responsibility of that?
35:41Maybe not.
35:44What are the thoughts running in your head?
35:49Regret?
35:50Yeah.
35:55I just want to make him proud and not flatten his name.
36:02You're making him proud.
36:11It's really emotional because a lot of it is shit, basically, that I hate dealing with, but I've never really
36:18had that emotional response.
36:20I spoke properly with someone who understands it and it's kind of a fuzzy feeling.
36:26I just feel...
36:28I feel like I'm a little off steam.
36:29I want to run around.
36:36Hello.
36:37Hello.
36:38Hello.
36:38How did it go?
36:39Very emotional.
36:41Looking at shit from a different angle, I suppose.
36:43Do you feel good that it's been light off your chest?
36:47Tell you what, though, it's so hot in the teepee.
36:49I sweated it all out, so...
36:52It wasn't tears, it was just sweat coming at your eyes.
36:54Yeah, yeah, yeah.
36:55It wasn't tears, no.
37:06Are you going to bomb it in?
37:08Yeah, yeah, yeah.
37:09It's late afternoon.
37:11We just, like, glided in.
37:13And many of the group are embracing island life.
37:17To be a man.
37:18Get your hair wet and just, like, come out and be fine.
37:21Yeah, yeah.
37:21Not need to moisturise that.
37:23Not need to, like, shower.
37:25Well, I think men need showers.
37:27I hope, I hope they shower.
37:30As some take a dip, the experts have decided it's time for others to immerse themselves
37:36in the retreat's most advanced therapy, undertaken by three specialists.
37:42Surrogate partner therapy works with the surrogate partner and the client,
37:46practising with everything from different kinds of touch,
37:49through genital touching, oral sex, or even intercourse,
37:53so that people can practise the full range of sexual experiences.
37:58First is 35-year-old Ellen.
38:00Hello.
38:03While all surrogate partner therapy is supported by clinical therapist Abby.
38:07What I do is therapeutic emotional discussion.
38:11Kat will be Ellen's surrogate partner therapist.
38:14So I do the relationship side.
38:17Doing touch work and relational works, like, completely led by you.
38:21Okay.
38:22And hands are, like, really important in lesbian sex.
38:25Yeah.
38:27Meanwhile, Tegan will work with surrogate partner therapist Rizden.
38:30And notice the sensation of me touching you.
38:38How did that feel?
38:40It felt good. It felt really nice.
38:41Okay, great.
38:42But before Marianne can consider a surrogate relationship, she first has to learn to trust men.
38:49It gets to a point where I need to feel the energy, you can feel they want more.
38:54And I can't cross the boundary. Just can't. My brain just gets stuck.
38:58I really want to challenge myself. I want to do it with a guy and see how I feel.
39:06Trust is everything.
39:08Out of all my friends, I'm the only virgin.
39:10And I do feel lonely.
39:12But I do want to be in a relationship with someone.
39:15If I haven't figured it out by 26 years, then clearly I do need some help.
39:21First step for Marianne...
39:23Hello.
39:25..is simply being comfortable in the same room as potential surrogate partner Andre.
39:31How are you feeling now?
39:33A little bit anxious in my stomach.
39:36And that's just because of unknowns and things.
39:39Yeah.
39:40Working with Marianne, it's very important that we start slowly to build the trust in myself.
39:46I'm going to be moving around the room and going to be noticing how your body is reacting to where
39:55I am.
39:55The idea is just to learn how someone being close to you can potentially feel.
40:01Yeah.
40:02Okay, so go ahead and close your eyes.
40:11And so I've moved.
40:12You might feel I am further away.
40:20See if there's any noticeable change in sensation.
40:27Growing up, I really never saw how a relationship should be.
40:33My dad just wasn't there.
40:36And seven, eight years ago, I found out I had a new half-sister.
40:39My dad was just sort of collecting mini-families.
40:44Yeah.
40:47Just noticing what's happening in your body.
40:51So anything that reminds you of my dad, you're instantly vetoed.
40:54Trust-wise, I'm very sceptical.
40:59What was, like, kind of going on in your head?
41:03By the end, I liked it.
41:06Hmm.
41:07It just felt warm by the end.
41:10I felt, if I'm being honest, more sort of turned on with the second one that was there.
41:15For some reason.
41:16Wonderful. Okay, great.
41:18I feel a lot more relaxed here.
41:21Okay.
41:22After the exercise...
41:24Want a hug?
41:25I would love a hug.
41:26Marianne is clearly calmer.
41:29It helps that you smell like salted caramel.
41:32Mmm, do I really?
41:32Yeah.
41:33It's very, like... I like that.
41:36I'm feeling a lot more reassured working with a guy.
41:40He's very lovely and I felt very relaxed.
41:44It has helped my brain not be as... fearful.
41:50I'm really proud of myself.
41:55Hi.
41:56Hi, Marianne.
41:57Welcome back.
41:57How did your one-to-one go?
41:59It was good.
42:01Hell yeah. Nice to meet you.
42:02How many people can actually fit in this bed?
42:04That's a real question.
42:05Bertie, do you want to come join us in the bed?
42:07Um...
42:08Actually, please do.
42:09It's an open invitation.
42:11All right, no worries.
42:14After getting back on track earlier,
42:16the experts don't want Bertie to lose momentum again.
42:20Bertie jumped up.
42:21I thought he was going to use his foot as an excuse,
42:23but he didn't and he was so good.
42:26He seemed so sensual, so, like, um, animalistic.
42:30It's really important that he feels successful.
42:33Yeah.
42:34When it comes to dating and sex,
42:38I just want to be able to be more confident in myself
42:41and know what I'm doing because the thought of me
42:46approaching a woman and asking them out,
42:48it would make them think,
42:49Oh, God, this is embarrassing.
42:52What have I done to deserve being arsed out by Bertie?
42:57To help boost his confidence...
42:59Good afternoon.
43:02Celeste wants to push Bertie's boundaries.
43:05How was the workshop for you?
43:07I know I got a few things wrong,
43:08but that was the first time I didn't really feel uncomfortable.
43:11I was super proud and impressed
43:13and I think we can use this session
43:15to just do more kinds of practices that will be helpful for you.
43:19Sounds good. To get more technique together.
43:21It's good to dry brush my teeth then.
43:27Celeste starts...
43:28So try to, like, lay me back.
43:31Like this?
43:31Yeah, exactly.
43:33Simulating the missionary position.
43:35How am I going to do this?
43:36It'll be awkward at first.
43:37Yeah.
43:38So don't worry about that, okay?
43:40Teaching Bertie the basics.
43:42And then you want to line up
43:44so that your dick is connected to my pussy.
43:47Oh, God, okay.
43:50Right?
43:51Like this?
43:52Yeah, exactly.
43:58Okay.
43:58And you'll need to hold up some of your weight.
44:01Yeah, sorry.
44:02No, it's okay.
44:02And if you want me to show you what I mean,
44:04I'm happy to do that.
44:05That's fine. You can if you want to.
44:06If you lie down.
44:10Okay, so if I'm on top of you...
44:11Yeah.
44:12See how, like, I'm not all the way down here.
44:15There's just a little too much pressure on the chest.
44:18Yes.
44:23When you thrust, I want you to imagine that your cock is going inside my vagina.
44:28Like...
44:28Put this.
44:28Yes, exactly.
44:30Yes.
44:31Yes.
44:33You want to try doggy?
44:34Let's try it.
44:38Then you get between my legs.
44:40Yeah.
44:41Then you pull me up.
44:43Exactly.
44:44You can kind of be all the way up.
44:46Yes, yes, yes.
44:48Good.
44:50Yeah, like that.
44:55Thank you very much.
44:56I feel lightheaded.
44:57Oh, yes, I bet.
44:59You are an absolute miracle worker.
45:01I ain't leaving.
45:02Thank you very much.
45:03I'm just going to be rooting you on in every moment.
45:06Ooh, yeah.
45:07Oh, Bertie boy.
45:14Hello.
45:15How was it?
45:15Good.
45:16Celeste has taught me how certain sexual positions work.
45:20Wow.
45:22So, yeah.
45:24I feel very happy at the moment.
45:26It's amazing what a bit of rolling around on the floor doing different sexual positions
45:32can do to one's mentality.
45:34But I've made progress and I'm proud of myself for that.
45:38And I'm thankful for everything that Celeste has taught me.
45:42Oh, my God.
45:47All that thrusting has made me hurt my bollocks.
45:51It's because I have to sleep on my back tonight.
45:54Christ almighty.
45:56Next time.
45:57Look at my pussy.
45:59I'm definitely a lesbian.
46:01The dating phase panics Ellen.
46:03I just don't feel like I'm good enough.
46:06Alex ups his game.
46:07Do you want to see how hard you are?
46:09And things heat up.
46:11Cheers.
46:12With Island Dates.
46:13I'm so nervous still.
46:14Why?
46:15I think it's because it's you.
46:43I'm so nervous.
46:44The dating phase.
46:46It's the end of the day.
46:46And the
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