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00:04So, you've just been doing a bit of Shakespeare, Twelfth Night.
00:07Yeah.
00:09Is this the moustache you had for Malvolia?
00:12It is.
00:12You've been twiddling it since we got up.
00:14I'm so sorry. It is a...
00:16Twiddle, twiddle, twiddle.
00:18And how long is it since you did Malvolia?
00:20It's a week.
00:21And you've still got it on?
00:22I know I'm slightly worrying about saying goodbye to him.
00:26Because I played him twice, once when my dad died and once when my mum died,
00:30he got me through some, you know, a tough year.
00:33Yeah.
00:34Is it time to take it off, do you think?
00:36Do you want me to take it off?
00:37Oh, well, actually, that...
00:39Hang on.
00:40What have you got, a knife?
00:42Yes, I've got scissors.
00:44Go on, then. Just go out to the edges.
00:46It's quite hard to see.
00:48I don't want to hear that.
00:51Guy, you've got tough hairs.
00:53It's waxed.
00:53All my scissors are rubbish.
00:55Yeah, I think it's probably...
00:56Oh, I feel less strong already.
00:58You can have that.
00:59Oh, thank you.
01:01Let's have the other one.
01:05Oh, that's better.
01:07Shall I do your nasal hair?
01:09No, stop there, please.
01:10Something for the weekend, sir.
01:11Where are you going on your holidays?
01:15If the acting ever dries up...
01:16Yeah.
01:17You could do this.
01:17I could do my barbering.
01:18Very good.
01:24Did you hear the rain last night?
01:26Oh, my God.
01:26I think we can see the results of that rainfall today.
01:29Welcome to the Somerset Levels.
01:32Well, this is another fine mess you've gotten me into.
01:35Oh, sorry.
01:38There's been a lot of rain and, um...
01:41I mean, this is a road.
01:42This is the road we wanted to go down.
01:44This is the largest area of water meadows in Britain.
01:47They're meant to be flooded some of the time,
01:49but they're not really meant to be this flooded
01:52this much of the time.
01:53However, this is a very good place to look for a bittern.
01:57A bittern?
01:58A bittern.
01:59B-I-T-T-E-R-N.
02:02Bittern.
02:02One of the best disguised,
02:05one of the most secretive
02:06and certainly the shyest bird in Britain.
02:10It's like a small...
02:11Well, it is a small, brown, quite pudgy heron,
02:14but it's exactly the colour of the reed beds it nests in.
02:18Hang on, is that one over there?
02:22They have this habit.
02:23They've put their bill vertically
02:25and they look a bit like Beaker from the Muppets.
02:27Oh, very good.
02:28I like that sense.
02:30And they basically disappear.
02:33Are there many of them?
02:34There are many more than there were.
02:37There's been an amazing conservation effort
02:39to stop draining reed beds
02:42and protect their habitat.
02:44Even though they're very hard to see,
02:47bitterns do make this extraordinary noise.
02:50They boom.
02:52Boom.
02:52Yeah.
02:53It sounds like somebody blowing across the top
02:55of an enormous milk bottle.
02:56Unless we're unlucky
02:57and find someone blowing across the top
02:59of an incredibly tall milk bottle.
03:00That's possible, of course.
03:02Hiding in the reeds.
03:05So we might hear one.
03:06But even if we don't see a bittern,
03:08what we will see is lots of large white birds.
03:11In fact, look.
03:13They're swans, aren't they?
03:14That's right.
03:15They're mute swans.
03:16They're mute swans and they're making quite a lot of noise.
03:21Shall we start looking?
03:22Yeah.
03:22Well, we're not getting through that,
03:23even in your Land Rover.
03:25We'll have to find another way.
03:35I think this is the soggiest landscape I've ever driven through.
03:40It feels like we're on the tiny little causeway.
03:44It does, doesn't it?
03:44All the time.
03:45Yes.
03:46But yes, these water meadows have been artificially irrigated
03:50by what it was called drowning.
03:52When the water's carried off the river,
03:55it takes all the sediment,
03:57which isn't much use in a river,
03:59Yeah.
03:59into the fields,
04:01fertilises them.
04:02And then if you're growing hay
04:04or grazing cows,
04:07it's perfect grazing land.
04:17There's a lot of birds.
04:18Yep.
04:19Plenty of birds.
04:21And this is prime bitten country.
04:24So we need to find
04:26a hide
04:28where we can wake quietly and
04:30I like these stumpy things.
04:33Got something of the triffid about it.
04:36They might start following us.
04:39So we're going into stealth mode now.
04:41Are we?
04:42Yes.
04:43Do we have to walk, strangely?
04:45Why not?
04:51Is that a robin?
04:52Yeah.
04:52There he is.
04:53Oh, no, sorry.
04:53No, that's a run.
04:54My apologies.
04:55Where?
04:55Where is it?
04:56Just here.
04:57It's a little cocked tail.
05:01Oh, really opening his mouth wide.
05:04Yeah, it's a proper, proper spring song.
05:06They say it's the smallest bird in Britain.
05:08Is that right?
05:08Well, it would have to fight the goldcrest for that.
05:12Didn't we see a goldcrest?
05:14We did.
05:14And a firecrest.
05:15I actually had any idea because it was so bloody small.
05:20Oh, this hide looks good.
05:21Mm.
05:22Very high tech.
05:24Hide tech.
05:25Hide tech.
05:27Right.
05:27So we need to check the edges of all the reeds, really.
05:30All right.
05:30It's a movement.
05:31Yeah.
05:31You tend to look on the edges of the reed beds because if the bittern's on the edge, then you'll
05:35see it.
05:36And if it isn't, then you won't.
05:37Yeah.
05:38But they do come to the edges sometimes.
05:40Would we hear them before we saw them?
05:42Yeah, we could easily hear one.
05:44And even birders who've seen lots of them consider a sighting at a special event.
05:50They're that difficult to see.
05:52So nobody's blasé about bitterns.
05:56So what does it sound like exactly?
05:58Can you do an impression for me?
06:00Be a bittern.
06:02Okay.
06:02Fresh from the Royal Shakespeare Company.
06:05Samuel West.
06:06From the buttocks.
06:07We'll be giving it his bittern.
06:09It's really low.
06:10Yeah.
06:12Hoo.
06:13Hoo.
06:14Hoo.
06:16Hoo.
06:17The reviews are in, and frankly, they're not very good.
06:20Are they not?
06:20Well, we'll see it, shall we?
06:22See what turns out.
06:23Let me see if we can find a milk bottle bittern.
06:31Oh, just that.
06:33Hoo.
06:33Sounds like a bit of drum and bass.
06:35Hoo.
06:35Yeah.
06:36Yeah.
06:36Yeah, they'd like drum and bass.
06:38Hoo.
06:39It is exciting.
06:41It's the furthest carrying and the lowest frequency call of any bird in Britain.
06:51I know some of these.
06:52Yes.
06:53The black one with the white forehead down to the bell.
06:57Yeah.
06:58Is either a moorhen or a coot.
07:00And which one is it?
07:02It looks like it's got a white plastic spoon on his face.
07:05Yeah.
07:05That's coot.
07:06Yeah.
07:06Well done.
07:09Do you see grebe just behind it?
07:10Great crested grebe?
07:11Oh, is this the silvery one?
07:13Yeah.
07:14Any sketch from a 70s TV show about bird watchers?
07:18They always look very great crested grebe.
07:21I wouldn't really call it a great crest.
07:24Well, it gets one in spring for breeding purposes.
07:27The face is white with orange and then the crest is black and goes up.
07:32And it looks quite punky.
07:33Yeah.
07:33It's like early Susie Sue in the Banshees.
07:36And they're very sweet breeders.
07:39They do this thing where they dive for weed and come up and present it to each other.
07:45They stand up in the water and go face to face.
07:48Yeah, I don't know how they do it.
07:50It's very beautiful.
07:51We won't see it for a couple of months.
07:58Can I say I've just seen something?
08:01What have you just seen?
08:02Right over there, there's this bit of reeds here and then there's water and there's something on a kind of
08:08block.
08:09And on it, there's a weird looking thing.
08:10Is that the bitten?
08:12That is a grey heron.
08:14And the block is its nest, I think.
08:17All right.
08:18It's a good looking bird, isn't it?
08:19It's beautiful.
08:20It's already got its breeding plumes on its head.
08:22Yeah, it's like a...
08:23It's earning.
08:24It's wearing a hat.
08:25Yeah.
08:27There's two more there.
08:28Yeah?
08:29Oh, gosh, look.
08:30Yeah, it's just in front of it.
08:32Grey herons normally nest in mature trees.
08:36But they're nesting in reeds here, which is very unusual.
08:39They just look so depressed.
08:41They look like they're sort of in a...
08:43Yes, they do.
08:44...dreadful kitchen sink drama.
08:46And it's all just gone so wrong.
08:48It's too much, yes.
08:50And they're just going to stay there till they die.
08:52God, it looks grim.
08:54Mm.
08:54The wind's blowing them about.
09:04And then you just notice that's Glastonbury tour in the background.
09:06Oh, gosh, that is.
09:08Look.
09:09Have you been to Glastonbury?
09:11You must have been.
09:12I've performed at it twice.
09:14You haven't.
09:14I have.
09:15You've played Glaston?
09:16With my band.
09:17Played the Avalon stage.
09:19I'll tell you a thing about Glastonbury.
09:21Go on.
09:22From about a mile away, all you can smell is human ordeur.
09:27There's a track we used to go in by to get to the back of the admonstration of the van.
09:33And it passes the men's urinals.
09:36And it almost takes the skin off your eyes.
09:39It's so acrid.
09:40Wow.
09:41Yeah.
09:42But what was the experience of playing the festival?
09:45Do you know, it was one of the best gigs we ever did.
09:47Yeah.
09:48Just people who were really into it.
09:51Yeah.
09:51I'll bet.
09:52Yeah.
10:00So looking at birds is a new hobby for you.
10:02What other hobbies have you got?
10:05Would you call music a hobby?
10:06Um, I think I'm a man prone to looking at the gloomy side of things.
10:14And I find boredom depressing.
10:20So I've always busied myself with picking at some strings of something or writing something, you know.
10:28I find filling the time in a way of staving it off.
10:35A strange thing happened in lockdown, when I contacted you, in fact.
10:40I remember, yes.
10:42I started building this new vegetable garden.
10:45And that's when I started noticing birds.
10:46And that's when I rang you and said, how do I find out what that bird is?
10:51And I was sort of, you know, mid-60s.
10:55And I thought my life might be over.
10:59Professional life.
11:00Really?
11:01Yeah.
11:02I wasn't really sad about it.
11:03It's the first time I kind of viewed my life in its entirety.
11:08There was where it started.
11:09And it's got to here.
11:10So it gave me this way of having an overview of what life was.
11:16What my life was.
11:18I mean, I basically dick about and I've made that a career.
11:22You get it?
11:23Yeah.
11:24Yeah.
11:30Look, there's some grebes doing a bloody thing.
11:32Oh, there they are.
11:33Look, there they are.
11:35Yes, shaking their heads.
11:37There you are.
11:39Isn't that great that you described that to me?
11:41And now they're doing it.
11:43And now they're standing up.
11:44Look at mine.
11:45Oh, no, look at mine.
11:46Are they trying to mate with each other?
11:49Yeah.
11:49I think they're thinking of being a pair.
11:53They're having a rest between dances now.
11:56It's great that we saw that.
11:58It felt like they'd come to show me.
12:00Exactly what I just said.
12:01So we know we're not supposed to do this until a bit further into spring.
12:05But we heard your friend trying to explain what it was.
12:09We saw him in 2013.
12:10He wasn't doing well.
12:11It's like this.
12:14Yes.
12:15So he's not all doom and gloom, is he?
12:17No, no.
12:22Shall we try somewhere else?
12:23Yeah.
12:30They're very attractive, these reeds, aren't they?
12:33Yeah.
12:36See that?
12:37That's the Canada goose.
12:38At least I can tell by the chin strap.
12:40I can.
12:43No luck with the bitten yet.
12:46You know, we could well see one just skirting the top of the reeds as it moves from one place
12:52to another.
12:53We haven't heard one.
13:04Perfectly sane.
13:06Nothing to see here.
13:13I'm amazed they're not beating the door down.
13:19No sign of a bit.
13:20They're very, very shy.
13:22We'll have to look somewhere else.
13:25You have little faith.
13:27There probably is one there.
13:29It's just that it's hiding.
13:32Oh, oh, oh.
13:47Look at the Godwits.
13:49That's good.
13:49Godwits, black.
13:50Black and white.
13:51With a white wing bar.
13:52And long bills coming round.
13:55Oh, yeah.
13:56And they look great.
13:57Yeah.
13:58Good numbers of grey heron, but no luck with the bitten.
14:03So, before we go, I want to have a proper look on the base of these reeds with the scope.
14:11Do you want to warm up?
14:13Yes, sir.
14:14Yes, I'll do it.
14:15If I see one, I'll call you.
14:16I'll do my job of warming up.
14:30It's a nasty, sleeping wind.
14:34The trouble is, when you're looking at reed beds, they're so exactly the colour of a bittern that when you
14:43zoom in on them, you think you can see one.
14:49You're a robin.
14:51Come on, Mr. Robin.
14:54Some delicious food.
14:57You can see me, can't you?
15:01You're looking lovely.
15:15It's a bittern.
15:17It's a bittern.
15:17Here all year.
15:18I mean, I keep thinking I see one.
15:21It's just a tree stump.
15:33Come on, do you want another one?
15:36I know.
15:38And the weather's been shocking.
15:41It's a bitternally, absolutely.
15:49Cooks are very noisy.
15:53There you go.
15:56You look like a little mechanical bird.
16:20I'm bloody freezing.
16:22Did you find anything?
16:23Of course I didn't.
16:25You'll never guess what happened when you were away.
16:27Tell me.
16:28This bittern just sat on the bonnet of the car.
16:34Boomed at me.
16:35Boomed at me.
16:37And saying, I'm not in this time.
16:42I've just been feeding a robin.
16:44No.
16:45Yeah, it came to my hand.
16:46I mean, fleetingly.
16:47I think it was the same one as in Cornwall.
16:49No, it's a lot smaller, actually.
16:50Really?
16:53Where are we off to you next?
16:55See if we can find some cattle egrets.
16:57Somerset's the best place for them.
16:58Is it?
16:59Yeah.
16:59There are more here than anywhere else in Britain at the moment.
17:03Egrets.
17:04I've had a few.
17:07But then again, too few dimensions.
17:10Boom, boom, boom.
17:15What do you think your hobbies are?
17:17Is bed watching your soul?
17:19No, it's my main hobby.
17:21I think a lot of my hobbies center around collecting.
17:25Yeah.
17:26I mean, you know that I keep lists for birds and I collect stamps.
17:30I think that the need to fill some void is one I feel.
17:36And also the need to catalogue a confusing world.
17:42Yeah.
17:42Oh, hang on, hang on.
17:45We have cattle and cattle egrets.
17:49I love cows.
17:51I love cattle egrets.
17:52I think cows have got the loveliest eyes in the world.
17:55I hope you don't say that to Jennifer too often.
18:03Why are they hanging back with cattle?
18:04So the catalogue egrets do something for the cows and the cows give them something back.
18:11The catalogue egrets take ticks and flies off the cows.
18:15Yeah.
18:16They've been known to do it very gently around a cow's eye, for instance.
18:19Yeah.
18:20What the catalogue egret get is that when the cows tread through the ground, they turn over the ground like
18:25a little plough and they turn up insects and invertebrates.
18:29Yeah.
18:29And the catalogue egret eat them.
18:31They're a heron.
18:32They're a small white heron.
18:33Yeah.
18:34Although they're called egrets.
18:35I mean...
18:36What is a heron, then?
18:37I mean, why are all those birds called heron?
18:40What does that mean?
18:41Long-legged wading bird with a long dagger-like bill that mostly eats fish.
18:47But actually, the catalogue egrets don't need fish as much.
18:50Well, they can feed on drier fields and they eat invertebrates.
18:55They'll, you know, take a frog.
18:56Mind you...
18:57Take a frog.
18:58They'll take a frog.
18:58I'll take a frog.
18:59I'll take a frog.
19:00Have you got a frog?
19:00What have you got on to another?
19:02Frog?
19:03Oh, I'll take a frog.
19:04Oh, I don't mind.
19:10So it's approaching dusk and it's the right time of year.
19:14There's one more spectacle we can try and find before dinner.
19:18I do like three spectacles a day.
19:20A Starling murmuration.
19:22A murmuration.
19:24I've never really seen one close up.
19:26I'm going to call the Starling hotline
19:31and see what they tell us
19:33about where we might be able to find the zone.
19:36It has not been possible to connect.
19:39Please try again later.
19:41It has not been possible to connect your call.
19:44The rain's coming.
19:46Yes, it has.
19:47Why?
19:49It's been such a good day, really, hasn't it?
19:51Yeah.
19:52Compared to what we thought it was going to be.
19:54Well, Starling's head straight to roost if it's raining,
19:56so there probably won't be a murmuration tonight.
19:58Yeah.
19:59Let's head for the digs and try for Starling's tomorrow.
20:11Yes.
20:11Very good.
20:13Oh, nice and warm.
20:14Don't lock it.
20:15Oh, there we are.
20:16Kitchen.
20:17Are you cooking tonight?
20:19I certainly am.
20:21Jolly good.
20:21I like the fire.
20:28That smells good.
20:29What is it?
20:30We're having Kedgeri.
20:32Oh, brilliant.
20:35All right, here we go, then.
20:37Day list.
20:39Somerset Levels.
20:42Great.
20:44Crested.
20:46Great.
20:47Which I think is my favourite bird of the day.
20:49Very good.
20:51Very, very sleek.
20:52Very nicely designed.
20:54It's lovely, isn't it?
20:56What exactly is Kedgeri?
20:58Well, Kedgeri, the way I make it, is a bloody mess.
21:02No, it's basically smoked haddock and rice
21:06in a sort of slightly curried sauce.
21:09What's not to like?
21:10I know.
21:12We didn't see a Chetty's Warbler, but we heard lots.
21:17It looks like madness to me.
21:19This?
21:19Yeah.
21:20If someone wants to say, what does madness look like?
21:23It's, it's...
21:24It's this?
21:25When you flick through the same book, you look at every page again.
21:29Yeah.
21:30I like it.
21:31It's quite a sane madness.
21:33There are much madder mads.
21:34Yeah.
21:37Starling.
21:38Yes, Starling?
21:40Still funny.
21:43Wren.
21:44Wren.
21:45Wren was lovely.
21:46Yeah.
21:47Singing away there, saying, don't forget about us, common birds.
21:51We did, we really didn't forget about us.
21:53We demand a look.
21:54Yes.
21:55They demanded very well.
21:56And I have to say, best singer of the day.
21:58No, no, no question.
21:59Very good singer.
22:00No question.
22:01To some of the house's eggs.
22:03Have you seen the chickens outside?
22:05No.
22:06They're beautiful.
22:06There's chickens outside.
22:07Look at that colour.
22:08Shall we have that one?
22:10Go on.
22:12So lots of herons today, though no bitten, but there's always tomorrow.
22:16The herons were fantastic.
22:18The herons were good.
22:25There's a purple heron on our wine.
22:28That's very good.
22:29Yeah.
22:30That charming.
22:31Cheers, my dear.
22:32Mm.
22:33Mm.
22:34Well-burnted.
22:36And you, mate.
22:40Yeah, it's lovely.
22:42That's beautiful, eh?
22:43Thank you so much.
22:44It looks all right, doesn't it?
22:45It looks gorgeous.
22:46I mean, it's food.
22:46It goes in.
22:48It comes out.
22:51I can usually make supper in the time it takes for EastEnders to be...
22:57Missed.
22:58Yeah.
22:59Jennifer watches EastEnders while I make supper and then...
23:03Very good.
23:04So half hour.
23:05So as soon as you hit the diff, diff, diffs, you know it's time to serve.
23:08Mm.
23:09Oh, this is great.
23:11Really delicious.
23:13So here's to the elusive bitten.
23:16I'm the hope of one tomorrow.
23:18That bitten doesn't know what's coming to you.
23:21Doof, doof, doof, doof, doof, doof, doof, doof, doof.
23:25Yeah, my puff.
23:33Oh, this is fun.
23:55Boring bird calls, memorably described by Simon Barnes
23:59as a bored football fan, a collared dove, going,
24:03hoo-hoo-hoo, hoo-hoo-hoo, hoo-hoo-hoo, hoo-hoo-hoo.
24:09He says it's like a bored football fan going,
24:12united, united, and you can never forget that once you've heard it.
24:26What a splendid day, an awful lot of birds about.
24:32Now, where's those chickens?
24:37Here they are.
24:41Hello, little chickens.
24:43I love a chicken.
24:45It's all got such characters.
24:48My wife wants to make a sitcom about chickens.
24:52Just film chickens and then put voiceover on them.
24:56Yes, hello.
24:58Oh.
25:00What are you going to do today?
25:01Well, I thought I'd just peck at some food.
25:05Really attractive, a good chicken.
25:08Gorgeous birds.
25:14There's some birds.
25:16Those are...
25:18Bloody hell, I think they're starlings.
25:21Not quite a murmuration, just a fall.
25:24I feel nervous saying that they are
25:28without confirmation from the master.
25:35Can I hear a corn bunting?
25:39A big flock of sparrows just here.
25:43And a robin just behind it.
25:48And the song thrush, just down here.
25:53This is the first time I've done this, sort of go out in the morning.
25:56And it's really quite pleasant.
26:00Aww.
26:04I think I'm being stalked by the robins.
26:08Right, I'm going to go and get the coffee on.
26:15Just photosynthesising for a bit.
26:20It's better.
26:39Good morning, good morning.
26:40Good morning.
26:42How are you?
26:42I'm very well.
26:44What day did you get at?
26:45Oh, I don't know.
26:46About seven.
26:47I'm doing my morning madness walk.
26:49Is that coffee?
26:50It is coffee.
26:51Nice little mug.
26:55Cheers.
26:56Cheers.
26:56Well, I went out.
26:57Did you?
26:57Yes.
26:58Do you know what I found?
26:59Go on.
27:00Chickens.
27:00You can't count those.
27:02You can't count those.
27:05What's the plan today?
27:07Well, we're going to try and see a bittern again.
27:10I brought a bittern photograph.
27:12And do you remember I said that it looked like beaker?
27:15That's what they...
27:16When they freeze, that's why they look like beaker.
27:20Bitterns, apparently, even though they were very shy,
27:23were never particularly difficult to catch.
27:25And they were on the menu in the medieval times.
27:29Well, I did a bit of reading last night.
27:31Did you?
27:31Yes.
27:32How many bitterns do you think were eaten
27:36for the investiture of the Archbishop of York in 1465?
27:43204.
27:44No.
27:44It's no wonder we can't find one.
27:46That's like almost all Britain's bitterns.
27:49That's quite hard to say.
27:50Yeah.
27:51200...
27:51204 just for...
27:52Just for an investiture.
27:53That's just showing off, isn't it?
27:55Yeah.
27:56And I've got some footage of the suspect.
27:59This is who we're looking for.
28:02This is to prove that they do exist.
28:04Oh, he's quite a fine head, isn't it?
28:06Yeah.
28:07He looks very inquisitive.
28:09What's that over there?
28:10That's kind of over there.
28:11Kip...
28:12Kiputai?
28:13Why have they got better many accents?
28:14They have, though, haven't they?
28:15Yeah.
28:16You can see they're much stockier than normal herons.
28:19But it does prove they exist.
28:21They are not fictional birds.
28:23Although they very nearly were.
28:25I mean, in 97 we got down to 11 of them.
28:28Mmm.
28:28They could easily have become extinct in the wild.
28:31It's been a great success story.
28:34283 in 2024.
28:36And it's a massive recovery.
28:37Whereas ever since we stopped the Church of England from eating them.
28:40Yes!
28:45I'm used to the accusation that I'm geeky.
28:47Yeah.
28:48But I've been thinking about you calling my listing mad.
28:50I think it's part of a sort of mindfulness.
28:55Something about putting it down and trying to expand it.
28:59Is mind expanding as well as geeky?
29:03I think.
29:04Just to me, anyway.
29:05I think it might also be a way of putting the world in order.
29:11Yeah.
29:16You've been all right since your mum died.
29:19Yeah.
29:20You became an orphan very quickly, didn't you?
29:22Yes, I did.
29:23It's quite...
29:24The funeral went well.
29:27It started with a line straight out of Forty Towers.
29:31It was...
29:31We got an email on the morning of the Mars Funeral that said,
29:35there is a gas leak at Putney Crematorium.
29:39So we had to switch chapels so we didn't all get cremated.
29:42Yeah.
29:44And the music wasn't working.
29:45So we sent her off to Routwolle from the St John Passion
29:48on this tinny little Bluetooth speaker.
29:52But we were wondering what to put on the front cover of the funeral.
29:57I argued for this picture.
30:01I'd have used that.
30:02Yeah.
30:02I mean, one of the nice things when your parents die
30:04is that you find out things about them that you didn't know.
30:06You know, stories.
30:07Yeah.
30:07This was in a Guardian photo essay
30:09saying Pronella Scales are life in pictures.
30:12It's from the year I was born.
30:13Yeah.
30:13And I'd never seen it before.
30:15And then somebody sent me these.
30:21Of...
30:22Daddy.
30:24Which one's you?
30:25That's me.
30:26That's my brother Joe.
30:28Yeah.
30:28And there we all are.
30:29This is in 1975 when I'm nine and Joe is six.
30:34Yeah.
30:35I'll tell you what.
30:36Your dad looks like my dad in those pictures.
30:43Did you know there was a stream outside?
30:45A stream?
30:46A stream.
30:46Should we go and look?
30:47Yeah.
30:49Isn't it beautiful that you can see how high the water is?
30:52Yeah.
30:53A local wildlife photographer and filmmaker has set up a camera
30:57just over the other side of this bridge.
31:01And that stick just in front of it is a favourite perch of a kingfisher.
31:07You had a very brief encounter with one.
31:10We did see one in Cornwall, didn't we?
31:12The idea now is to have a much closer and possibly, with luck,
31:16longer encounter.
31:20We just have to be very quiet and still.
31:23And wait.
31:30I'm loving this bridge.
31:32There's really quite a lot of water going under it.
31:35Yeah.
31:38How long do we wait for?
31:40About ten minutes in your arse?
31:41Yes.
31:43I might have to shift.
31:44Yeah, I do.
31:46Maybe I've brought a couple of cushions.
31:51I'll wake me up when it comes.
31:53Oh, God, you can't lie down on this step.
32:02Oh, little kingfisher.
32:05Sweet little bird of the water.
32:11Oh.
32:11It went through.
32:12It went through?
32:13Yeah.
32:14Did you see it?
32:14I saw it, yeah.
32:16OK, sir.
32:18Maybe it was my song that called it in.
32:20Yeah, I'm sure it was, I'm sure.
32:24If I may say.
32:25Yes.
32:26Searching for two elusive birds in one trip.
32:30Yes.
32:31Isn't it?
32:33Asking for trouble.
32:34Yeah.
32:35It would be funny if the bitten came through now.
32:39On a lilo.
32:42I heard you're looking for me.
32:43With a cocktail.
32:45So I thought I'd go.
32:50Oh, little kingfisher.
32:53Where have you gone?
32:55Why don't you come back to me?
32:59I saw you fly past.
33:01But just saw your arse.
33:03And that's no use to me today.
33:07Your arse is no use to me.
33:11Right.
33:12Shall we move on?
33:13Are you calling it?
33:14West Hamor.
33:15Oh, you're giving up then.
33:16I would stay, but...
33:17Yes, of course.
33:18If you have to go...
33:19I just don't have the patience.
33:20Yeah.
33:21Oh, God almighty.
33:24Oh, Christ.
33:27That's a way to get arthritis.
33:28It's good for us.
33:29Bird yoga.
33:30Yeah.
33:32Right, where are we off?
33:34West Hamor.
33:35Will there be some birds there?
33:36Yes.
34:10No matter how many times you look at them, Sam, they're always going to be ordinary swans.
34:14Yeah, I know.
34:15Hope springs are tough.
34:16You keep looking at them thinking there's going to be something different.
34:18I know.
34:20I mean, I should actually know because Hoopers and Buicks are slightly smaller.
34:24And those are massive.
34:40Well, after my Saint Francis of Assisi act with the robin, I'm now walking on water.
34:48I think something great might be happening to me.
34:50You've got to get ideas about your place.
34:52This might be the second coming.
34:54Well, it's funny you should say that because there are three mentions of bitterns in the
34:59Old Testament.
35:00Oh, yeah.
35:00Yes, in Isaiah, it talks about the total destruction of a place called Edom under divine judgment,
35:07a return to pre-Genesis chaos, and the cormorant and the bittern shall possess it.
35:14And the idea is that it's totally abandoned.
35:19A remote and horrible place.
35:21Yeah.
35:21Well, even in biblical times, the bittern was looking for somewhere where it really wouldn't
35:26be disturbed.
35:27Yeah.
35:28They're that shy.
35:28I wonder what it's doing there, in this place where it can't be seen.
35:33Well, that's exactly the thing, isn't it?
35:35You are meant to wonder.
35:36You're not meant to go and see.
35:38Oh.
35:50I like this hide.
35:52It's gorgeous.
35:53It's like the bridge of the ship in which we serve.
36:03Bittern's damn quiet tonight, number one.
36:07Yes, sir.
36:07Too quiet.
36:08I haven't seen a sign of bittern.
36:10Yeah.
36:11He's out there somewhere.
36:13Waiting.
36:15I've checked all the edges of the reeds.
36:17Good for you.
36:21There's some gadwall.
36:24Is that his missus next to him?
36:26Well, if he gets lucky, it is.
36:28Oh.
36:28The male is the grey one with the black stone.
36:31And the female looks quite like a mallard.
36:35It looks rather dull, but close up it's absolutely pretty and beautiful.
36:48It's very peaceful in a hide, isn't it?
36:50It's such a meditative place.
36:52It is gorgeous, isn't it?
36:54A place of peace.
36:55It's a strange landscape.
36:57It's sort of lunar.
36:58It doesn't feel quite...
37:00Yeah.
37:01...earthly.
37:02Well, it's basically an old pit, isn't it?
37:04If they dug the peat out.
37:05Yeah.
37:06And then it's filled up with water.
37:11It's a very loud coot.
37:12Ooh.
37:15Yes, you were loud.
37:16That's what I'm saying.
37:18You, sir.
37:23Yeah.
37:23So this bittern...
37:24Yeah.
37:25..that is possibly standing right in front of us...
37:29..disguised as a reed.
37:30Easily.
37:32And the way we are...
37:34You know, you and I are both actors.
37:37Do you think you hide in your roles?
37:39I like being someone else.
37:40I love being someone else.
37:42I think...
37:43Pretending to be someone else.
37:44I think enjoying being somebody else
37:45isn't quite the same thing as hiding in something.
37:47I know my mum really liked being somebody else
37:51and the only time I ever saw her unhappy
37:54was when her dementia meant she could no longer learn lines
37:57and she couldn't pretend to be somebody else.
38:00Yeah.
38:01I don't know that...
38:02I mean...
38:04Bitterns...
38:05If Bitterns were people, they would be...
38:07Loners?
38:09Well, they would be socially really awkward.
38:12Yeah.
38:12They would shun almost all contact
38:15and they would freeze as well.
38:18They would, you know, just hope it all goes away.
38:21Yeah.
38:35You listen very carefully.
38:39You can hear the sound of the rain on the water.
38:43It's hissing.
38:47Yeah.
38:48Thousands and thousands of tiny noises making a hiss.
38:54Fancy a cuppa?
38:56Oh, God, yes.
38:57Let's go and get the thermos.
38:58Oh, no.
39:06What's that?
39:15Did you bring a milk bottle specially?
39:18No.
39:19No, I think it's...
39:20Have you found the bitten?
39:22Yeah, somewhere.
39:23I think I've been bitten.
39:26That was very convincing, though.
39:28Was it?
39:28Yeah.
39:29It got me fooled for a bit.
39:42Doesn't seem to be calling back.
39:47We're going to be confusing a lot of birds.
39:52I'll try a sexier one.
39:54OK.
39:54Good luck.
39:59Why was that sexy?
40:01It had rhythm.
40:03It had something.
40:04Syncopation.
40:06Well, it's brought in a cormorant.
40:20I'm afraid the bitten has eluded us again today.
40:24Back to the car?
40:25Yes, let's.
40:26My socks are getting a bit soggy.
40:31Very nice sunlight, though, through that.
40:33Gorgeous, watery sunlight.
40:34Yeah.
40:35And look at the raindrops hanging off the...
40:37Oh, yeah, off the reeds.
40:38Yeah, it's beautiful.
40:39Yeah.
40:39Perhaps we should go and...
40:41Go and look at some starlings.
40:42Look for a murmuration of starlings.
41:06This is probably a good panorama.
41:09Got a nice view of the tour again.
41:11Yeah.
41:12Doesn't matter where we go.
41:13The tour is always in front of us.
41:15Yeah.
41:15It's promising.
41:23There's a single white egret up there.
41:25Yeah.
41:26Great white.
41:32There's a few in front of the tour now.
41:38Have you, um...
41:39Oh!
41:39Have you seen any starlings?
41:41Look, no, look, look.
41:42Don't listen to him.
41:43Yeah.
41:43Look over there.
41:45These they are at the beginning.
41:47Yeah.
41:49Here they come.
41:51Here they come.
41:51Here they come.
41:55Oh, bloody hell!
42:02Exactly.
42:04Christ almighty!
42:06That's...
42:07enormous.
42:13That's amazing.
42:15Do you look at it?
42:16It looks like one ginormous bee.
42:18Yeah.
42:19It's like a huge fish.
42:20Oh, they're going round there.
42:21If you'd never seen a flock of birds,
42:24you'd think the end of the world was coming.
42:27Wow.
42:37And the moon is out.
42:38Gorgeous.
42:39Isn't that great?
42:41Come this way.
42:44Shall I get my mealworms out?
42:48That is...
42:49extraordinary.
42:53I can't actually see anything else in my bins.
42:56No.
42:57Except...
42:57starlings.
42:59Do you have any idea why they do it?
43:02Well, safety in numbers is the main thing.
43:05But they're looking for somewhere safe for the night.
43:09Look at that!
43:12Oh, my God!
43:16Oh, my God!
43:17Listen, listen, listen.
43:22Does this make up for your bitten?
43:24Oh, God, yeah.
43:2730,000 starlings.
43:38You can see why it's called a murmuration.
43:40I mean, that felt like a murmuration, didn't it?
43:42That was so beautiful.
43:44What a noise.
43:50Thank you for being here when I saw that.
43:53It was great, really.
43:54Really special.
43:58Thank you for my great-crested grieve.
44:02I think he's my bird of the trip.
44:05Is it?
44:05Yeah.
44:06So now you sound like a real bird watcher.
44:08I saw the mating dance of the great-crested grieve.
44:11It's like you're in a sitcom.
44:14Yeah.
44:24I think they've gone to roost.
44:25Perhaps we should do the same.
44:27Yeah.
44:29Bid you adieu, Somerset.
44:31Thank you, Somerset.
44:31You've been great.
44:33See you soon.
44:33Right.
44:34To the pub.
44:39If you're interested in learning more about the birds featured and nature reserves near
44:43you, go to rspb.org.uk forward slash c5 for more information.
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